How To Breakup With Someone You Love (without hurting them)

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  • Опубліковано 14 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 67

  • @marinachan4
    @marinachan4 2 місяці тому +136

    The most difficult part for me is the fear that you could have tried more or harder, and the fear of maybe regretting it and making a mistake for not waiting for more time

    • @dee_zm
      @dee_zm Місяць тому

      This! 💯

    • @ariari7189
      @ariari7189 Місяць тому +3

      What about when you know you've done more things for her than anyone else she’s ever been with…and only to be left alone just 4 days before your wedding…all you can ask yourself is what did I do wrong? After You gave her everything have…your time…your money…your attention or was it all those things you gave up for your partner the things I shouldn't have done…But the sad thing is you know your in love when you do all those things…and still wasn't enough…but still can't breakup with her and still want to make things right even with all the signs on her forehead…hehehe sorry don't mind me I just got dumped tonight…I’ve been saving myself to find the one for 30 years and I really thought she was the one…

    • @CamReactsLive
      @CamReactsLive Місяць тому

      This is me!!! How do we know?

    • @dejanguy
      @dejanguy Місяць тому

      @@ariari7189 I really feel for you. That must've been hard to go through. I've experienced those feeling when you give your all to someone and would've done anything for them, only for them to fall out of love and lose feeling for you.

    • @megansteele6302
      @megansteele6302 25 днів тому

      @@ariari7189 It may be she didn't feel she was doing enough for you and she felt like you deserved more.

  • @stefanmuller2924
    @stefanmuller2924 2 місяці тому +78

    delayed conflict is conflict multiplied

    • @joeykidney
      @joeykidney  2 місяці тому +13

      You said it better than I did

  • @PaulinaZach1117
    @PaulinaZach1117 Місяць тому +37

    Today I broke up with someone who loved me very much and was one of the sweetest people. Unfortunately for the last few months we have been constantly arguing and disagreeing with each other. I felt so bad that I wanted to end this, I was so angry with myself. But I think we both worked out that the longer we carry it on the worse it will be.

  • @a.r2733
    @a.r2733 2 місяці тому +27

    This video came right at the right time ❤
    It's not going to be easy, but it's a step in the right direction

    • @joeykidney
      @joeykidney  2 місяці тому +1

      You got this - sending love your way

  • @MelodyCraft_
    @MelodyCraft_ Місяць тому +8

    I wanna be friends with this dude. He looks like he is the chill guy but when you really need it, he is there to advise you and really just doesn’t judge. Crazy.

  • @AndrewGilloth
    @AndrewGilloth Місяць тому +6

    damn dude your were helping me in highschool on tik tok now helping me as an adult, honestly man you do more than you think you do. I appreciate you.

  • @kiaracooper407
    @kiaracooper407 2 місяці тому +22

    So random but YEEAARRSS ago, Joey, I heard you say “live to be happy and be happy to live.” Last year I got my first tattoo and that’s what it says. It’s been my life’s motto-a line I have never forgotten since the day I first heard you say it.

    • @joeykidney
      @joeykidney  2 місяці тому +6

      that’s my favourite saying ever! That is so amazing that it’s on your body - I love it

  • @flamissia4
    @flamissia4 5 днів тому +1

    Thank you, that came straight from the wisdom of your open, sincere heart. It's giving me the strength to take the leap, no matter how hard, knowing we both tried our very best.

  • @ohneville
    @ohneville Місяць тому +10

    So much compassion in your advice. Thanks.

  • @ethancastro262
    @ethancastro262 2 місяці тому +15

    I just got broken up with last night by my gf of 3 years. I’m still battling with my emotions but this definitely helped. We both loved each other but unfortunately we weren’t in love with each other anymore

  • @junioremmanuel5874
    @junioremmanuel5874 10 днів тому +1

    False hope only delay their healing. That hit me hard mr joey ❤

  • @codifiedtom
    @codifiedtom 8 днів тому +1

    I hate being a young soul talking to someone about things like these, because they always brush it off (ESPECIALLY when they're 5+ years older) as some sort of invalidated experience just because it's happened to them before, as if it didn't hurt then, as if their feelings didn't matter then. This video, however, helped me a lot. I knew from the BEGINNING she wasn't the one for me, the contrast is too far, the spark was never there besides the affection. You made me realize my behavior of "I don't wanna breakup with her because i'll feel horrible afterwards" is pretty damn selfish. I know now that it's always gonna hurt, there's no going back and there's no way to soften the blow and that I should just be honest rather then making an at least halfway "understandable" excuse. Thank you, this is one of the only (sorta) self-help videos that genuinely fixed a huge problem i've been having for these past few months. You've saved me a lot.

  • @stefanmuller2924
    @stefanmuller2924 2 місяці тому +6

    so thankfull for all the warmth you spread. Thank you Joey.

  • @Khushiidalal
    @Khushiidalal 2 місяці тому +9

    Doin the right thing never comes with reason cause the right thing is the ultimate reason💙💙
    Keep going joey!!!!!

    • @joeykidney
      @joeykidney  2 місяці тому +3

      the right thing is the ultimate reason - i love that

    • @Khushiidalal
      @Khushiidalal 2 місяці тому

      Can I order your bo​ok "what's the rush" from india ?
      And is it available as e book ?@@joeykidney

    • @Khushiidalal
      @Khushiidalal 2 місяці тому

      Heey
      Can I order ur book " what's the rush" from India?
      And is it available as ebook online ?

  • @anant8748
    @anant8748 2 місяці тому +5

    if only i'd had this a month ago.
    i'm kidding. I love the timing of your videos- they all hit just right. thank you for making your content

  • @RyanIrvingGrantRIG
    @RyanIrvingGrantRIG Місяць тому +1

    i wish that i could like this over and over again he is so helpful

  • @lucianazarenarojas6199
    @lucianazarenarojas6199 2 місяці тому +6

    I love your videos ❤❤❤ thank you so much they help me view this differently, I really needed this video, this came at the right time

  • @the.zabrak
    @the.zabrak 6 днів тому +1

    I’m in my car in the parking lot in the mall, I’ve been in a complicated relationship where we definitely love each other, but our difference in values and just the fact that we are fundamentally different has hurt us a lot. There has been a lot of insincerity, lies and manipulation from her end. That has caused me to bash out and be hurtful and judge. We started dating last October and in reality I don’t think things have gotten worse, but I don’t know if they’ve gotten better. I’m at a 50-50 where I’m literally split, but if I’m being honest, I’m leaning more towards the fact that I will break up with her eventually. It hurts me. She’s my first relationship, she has had multiple relationships before me, but it is a couple years younger, and just simply lack the experience ironically because this is her first SERIOUS relationship. The cognitive dissonance is what eats me up the most, I can’t afford a therapist so I just come to videos like this seeking help.

  • @ikyouknoweknow
    @ikyouknoweknow 2 місяці тому +5

    Further more... I had a friend I was seeing. We in my head were going strong. But I could feel it, the inconsistency... Him exploring other options. He didn't show or tell. Then one day he laid it on me, but I still didn't get it. He wasn't very clear about it. But then it was like every moment after that was like he was trying to get rid of me. I kept expressing that and it still felt like there was something he wasn't saying. It took months for me to process it. And the feelings still linger. But because of how slow of a burn it was, I forgive the moment. But I can never see myself having any kind of relationship with him at all. He wanted to continue being casual friends, but now there are so many unresolved feelings that unless we're BOTH willing to say the unspoken words. We just have to go our own ways.

  • @pyroAdapt
    @pyroAdapt 9 днів тому +1

    My girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me a month ago. She said she was mentally falling out of love with me cause of our rights and issues for weeks already and so when she finally did it , it was like she was way more cold and distant than I ever expected. I was moving my stuff out, moving storage bins up and down the hallway of her apartment crying my eyes out in silence while she just didn't acknowledge it and she's told me she felt bad but the way she acted made it more traumatic. I had to grieve and process it all by myself and she was not available for me to lean on whatsoever during it and everytime I hit a breaking point and had to message her just to feel something or just talk to me like a normal human being and not be so distant whe would just say she still need space and that me pushing was only asking her less attracted to me and want less to do with me. The whole "I need space" thing is a whole other can of worms and I know it's bad to violate that when they ask you for space but it could've been handled so much better.... She made me go through the worst heartbreak of my life this last few weeks just laying alone in my room numb and unable to enjoy anything all the while getting made to feel like I'm the bad guy each time I tried to reach out to her. I'm literally going to therapy next week because of it lol and I've never been to a therapist nor did I think I'd ever need to. Me and her finally resolved things maturely and agreed to just let one another go free and not be in the others life at all. We agreed that we both fucked each other up mentally and now I need to heal and so does she. We may still reunite in January if things have healed and we are still single and she's done with her school which ends this week but I mean... Idk lol

  • @YasmineSafsaf
    @YasmineSafsaf День тому

    I’m a high school teenage girl , i’ve been in a relationship with someone that i feel that he truly loves me nd takes care of me nd my feelings for 2 months, and now I’m watching this video trynna not to hurt him or make him feels depressed. I think that I’m doing the right decision ;(

  • @Djurre_
    @Djurre_ 4 дні тому +1

    I liked a girl 2 years back, she’s had 3 boyfriends in those 2 years. Now we’re together, and I’ve come to realise.. she was too late, I wanted to believe so much I loved her. But I don’t feel anything when we’re together anymore. Had a relationship for 8 months with her. I don’t know how to.. break up with her.

  • @megansteele6302
    @megansteele6302 25 днів тому +1

    Thank you for that front bit needed that

  • @Alfonzo_the_Marine_Iguana
    @Alfonzo_the_Marine_Iguana 7 днів тому +1

    Or to save time, say you want to show him something on google and "accidentally" leave this page up when you open your PC.

  • @practicallyascientist9971
    @practicallyascientist9971 Місяць тому +3

    Unfortunately it happened over a fight over text and there will no more be in person.

  • @juliahooper554
    @juliahooper554 2 місяці тому +5

    thank you so much it feels like you're an older brother giving me advice haha

  • @adorbly.Natalie
    @adorbly.Natalie 7 днів тому +1

    I’m so scared to break up with my boyfriend ..
    we have been dating about 1 yr and it just doesn’t feel the same. I lost feelings but I don’t want to be fake so I need to. He has always struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts and I just don’t want him to be hurt. I’m not happy but he is and ik he loves me but I don’t 😭 I’m going to ill update soon
    Update- I did it everything is fine so far ❤

  • @bearface9706
    @bearface9706 2 місяці тому +6

    Do you think it's okay my ex broke up with me even though we treated each other well and it seemed healthy, cause of an incompatibility they knew about from date 1, after 40 dates and sleep overs and meeting family? And she said she wanted to be with me and initiated sex moments before ending it. She'd never communicated any concerns before the discard. But at least she did it in person and didn't give many details... It didn't feel like closure. Actually it was the most painful thing I've ever experienced.

  • @Feroxbriks
    @Feroxbriks 4 дні тому +1

    I can't break up in person because we love very far Apart and i have noen her sense i was 3

  • @manjulaprakash1506
    @manjulaprakash1506 8 днів тому +1

    I have decided to break up. It's just one side love since four year. He don't know who am I. .may be he knows me and my past. I am not sure. But he didn't try to speak to me. Some time I feel like he is insulting me and he knows the truth that I am love in with him. God knows the truth. But I am not able to take my depression anymore. It's very painful for me. I am getting sick. Heath issues are increasing. I scare my family will suffer only because of me and my stupidity. So I have decided to end this one side love.

    • @TateJeff
      @TateJeff 2 дні тому

      How did you do it?

  • @lukemarais8861
    @lukemarais8861 Місяць тому +3

    Please can someone give me some guidance. I really don’t know how to do things but me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 year I feel like there so love anymore even if I have tried to give all of mine to the relationship. She had a really abusive person in her life and she always told me I’m gonna leave her and I always said I’m gonna stay forever and I feel like it’s going to break her and I don’t think I can deal with myself if I break her I still love her I just feel like it’s not working we have been trying to fix things things but the last 3 months I have had almost no good times and I feel unloved and it’s tearing me up

    • @Nazannex
      @Nazannex 24 дні тому

      Oh man this one is tough bro, especially since you promised to be with her forever. But tbh it's gonna be worse if you ignore your and her feelings and the issues that may present themselves in the relationship. If deep down you know you don't love her and aren't willing to the fight for the long haul, then end it. I'm sort of in the same situation myself, minus the abuse, and it's really hard man, but I know it'll be better in the grand scheme of things

  • @ar.glennclevertmatre5545
    @ar.glennclevertmatre5545 5 днів тому

    Thank you

  • @Khushiidalal
    @Khushiidalal 2 місяці тому +5

    Heey
    Can i order ur book " what's the rush " from India?
    And is it available as e book online????

    • @joeykidney
      @joeykidney  2 місяці тому +5

      Yes :) it is available on Amazon India (all three of my books are)

  • @Liliyth.
    @Liliyth. Місяць тому +3

    There's this boy who had a crush on me for 2 years and he asked me out. I said yes and we've been dating for like 3 days. The thing is that he's super awkward and disgusting, but he's a nice guy and I don't want to hurt his feelings😭 pls send advice

    • @collin7687
      @collin7687 14 днів тому +2

      the earlier the better, the best time is now
      good luck

    • @Iee.is.weirddd
      @Iee.is.weirddd 2 дні тому

      The same thing is happening to me.. I fell for him but after 3 months I lost my feelings for him

  • @tylermackiebannick7944
    @tylermackiebannick7944 2 місяці тому +4

    I’m in an after break up situation right now. She broke up with me but now she wants to be friends again. I don’t know if I can be friends anymore after everything though. It’s been quite a while since the break up and I’m a way happier person but I’m scared if I try to go back to her as a friend that I’m going to hurt again. Anyone have any advice

    • @marinachan4
      @marinachan4 2 місяці тому +6

      My best piece of advice is do not do it. That finished for a reason, now you are in a better place. Do not destroy all the work you have done on yourself

    • @ikyouknoweknow
      @ikyouknoweknow 2 місяці тому +6

      yeah... leave it in the past. It'll hurt and you'll always think that there's a way to make it "work". But she'll get a boyfriend or partner... She'll go off to do something. And you'll be left there, just you again... And it'll hurt again. Save yourself the trouble. Don't settle.

    • @uvdur
      @uvdur Місяць тому +2

      it's understandable that either of you wants the other in their life, you were a solid source of comfort for each other for a long time. and maybe you can turn this into a genuine friendship one day but if you hesitate, it's not the time. I think reuniting and being friends require totally different protocols, so if you feel in between and don't know which one you want to be in, don't do it.

  • @HeheheheYowaimo
    @HeheheheYowaimo Місяць тому +1

    I need a solution please help. He belongs to a family where his parents won't allow a love marriage he is 25 I'm 21. His parents do not know about us. Somehow yesterday his parents got a glimpse of us texting. His mother called me and said some brutal shits onto my face with a warning that if you ever talk to my son again I'll call the police. Okay I'm scared. I'm scared to death. To me nothing matters more than my father's pride. His parents aren't allowing him to touch his phone or go anywhere. And they are forcing him to marry this another woman. It's okay I'll move on I'm a strong person. But he isn't. When I asked him that we should breakup he denied it saying that he will die. Okay he loves me with all his heart and that's what I have always asked for but the fact that his parents warning me about police and all those stuffs has scared me to death. He even said that he will die without me. At this point I was like dude if you do something to youself your parents will come for me. I'm a selfish person I know I'm. What should I do? I need some advise

  • @volkanjamesaksoy2415
    @volkanjamesaksoy2415 2 місяці тому +12

    She broke up with me while cuddling... A new level of getting blindsided 💀

    • @joeykidney
      @joeykidney  2 місяці тому +11

      The bright side is you were being held

    • @volkanjamesaksoy2415
      @volkanjamesaksoy2415 2 місяці тому +5

      @@joeykidney Part of me wishes that we argued instead. Because I feel like it's so much harder this way. But thank you for bringing me that perspective.

  • @MortifiedPlatypus
    @MortifiedPlatypus Місяць тому +2

    Oooh oooh oooooh. What if.. when they ask you to do something say "Sorry I can't. I was going to update my dating profile." But in a loving way.

  • @manjulaprakash1506
    @manjulaprakash1506 8 днів тому +1

    I am thinking good? Should I end this one side love? Please comment me anyone.

  • @anticybruh
    @anticybruh 13 днів тому +1

    3 month rule, still have feelings for her, but she doesn’t even bother trying to speak to me anymore. I’m sick of seeing her once a week and then being ignored. I feel embarrassed and scared, but I think I know what I have to do.