Did this 3 years ago. While he was out playing tennis I threw my clothes and stuff in the car, went to the bank and took my money out and left town for good. Best thing I ever did.
Absolutely right! Choosing self-respect over being someone's option is a powerful decision. When you prioritize yourself, you show others how you deserve to be treated. Disappearing from toxic situations isn't just an escape-it's a statement of your worth. Stay strong and keep putting yourself first! 💪✨
You deserve to be a priority, not an option. Protecting your worth is an important step to building a better life. Continue to be strong and set clear boundaries! 💪✨
good stay safe and always value you you precious and we all need to have respect, love, being cherished I have been gone fore 15 days now and I am finding myself singing , sleeping well, laughing more, its all an amazing feeling.....
I moved across the other side of the country and completely disappeared and went "dark" ;I made myself the option. I learned that when your life falls apart, its really falling into place and you need to see it as this 🙂
@billmiller1868 thanks, and it has worked out. And now I'm writing the book towards helping others trying to end psychopathological narcissistic abuse in their life.
@@rodneyhenchliffe754 Many Thanks @rodneyhenchliffe754 I wish you the best of success and you have chosen a great vocation. Nothing worth doing is easy! Best of Luck Rodney. Actually luck has nothing to do with it,hard work does
Outstanding COMMENT MAN!! I two , thought I was suffering and things couldn’t get any worse! But in reality, best thing ever happened got me! I dumped all SELF SERVING so called friends! Trust me, 98% of who used to call friends are REJECTED - IM GOOD!!!!
I left my family , fake friends and never looked back. Not being loved is horrible, my whole life mentally abused, missed goals. Now I live better than ever building my life at 52 with my precious children. Even Immigrated from my native Dutch roots to spain andalucia. Nothing is easy but way better. I'm done being an option ❤🙏🏽
Omg, this was so deeply satisfying. I'm two weeks into no contact. He told me a few times he knows I'm not going anywhere, that I'll always come back. Let's see about that!
Wonderful. Topic: Silence. Nothing is more powerful than silence. Ban people from your life who harm you. I am very lucky that since I am self-employed and downsized my life, I am surrounded by only good friends, honest friends, people who not only speak but follow with action. This is one of the greatest presents I received in life. Also cut my narcissistic mother out of my life. Since then, life is so much lighter, easier, happier.
Truth! They love to argue and put you down, I didn't gave any of them any chance, those are abusers and deeply jealous envious. Now I magnet kind people! Self Worth is powerful and magical. Silence is gold ❤
Yep, it works when you walk out. They’ll chase and pursue, don’t give up, they’ll continue taking you for granted once you give up. This is a life changing decision. Changing for the better. You deserve it! Be proud of yourself, have dignity and integrity, you’re no more an option; you have control of your life and emotions. It’ll take time but you’ll come out on top, a winner!!! Suffering is part of life, don’t be afraid, it cleanses and brings you to higher levels of success. You’ll be alright!
The part about ‘the void of missing you’ really hit home. It’s incredible how people only start to realize your value when you’re no longer there. Time to stop being an option and start being the priority in my own life! Who’s with me? 🙌🔥
Wow, this video is a game-changer! It’s so empowering to realize the strength in walking away and reclaiming your worth. Sometimes silence says more than words ever could. Thank you for this reminder!
I'm done being an option, I walked away 9 months ago without a word, leaving everything in the house. I am now on a spiritual journey and I am the happiest I have ever been. Thank you universe for your guidance. 🙏🏼💫💫
Wow, this video is such a wake-up call! It's amazing how silence can be one of the loudest ways to reclaim your worth. Anyone else feel like this is the push they needed to take control of their emotional independence? 💪✨
That's what I do today I walk away and. will never comeback anymore.. I'm too stressed to love someone who doesn't care my feelingss.. for now I want to respect my self
I walked away after a 6 month marriage. He turned very unpredictable and violent at times. Although he never hit me, I felt that leaving him was best and I never looked back. The last time I saw him he was crying so much, and I told him, sorry it’s too late … it’s been over 10 years, and I do not regret it a bit. He took me for granted and he thought that because I loved him so much, I would never leave him, but I did. Even though it was painful for me,but I would not let anyone trash me and my dignity.
OK your story makes sense if you decide ,any one has the right to do what is good for them,,,,What has happened now after you left Him? Have you found one to be with? have you had a happy relationship?
Exactly, and really good for you realizing your self worth.❤ Five days ago he suggested us having an open relationship, as he both wanted his freedom seeing other women and keeping me, he said. I've not given him an answer yet, but of course my answer is NO. Now I've disappeared on him completely. I can feel his energy that he is worried, lost, confused, and scared of losing me for good now. 😀
@Helenatapper777, stay”lost” and don’t let him find you, ever! He doesn’t deserve you. He’s insecure, immature, and if he wants to date others, you’re only an option. Hell NO and no!
I’m done being an option long ago. 2 years 4 months and counting. Never go back. Never look back. They were strangers from the start. Never ever mistake them for family, again!
The stages of what they feel when you disappear hit so deeply, especially the idea of emotional independence. It’s amazing how stepping back can reveal so much about their behavior and our own strength. Such a powerful message!
It took me 2 years to finally get away for good & even then, I was trying to be nice just to maintain the peace. Little did he know, I was only waiting for the right moment to disappear. I honestly don't think it even bothered him at all - he moves fast. I'm pretty sure he already had someone lined up long before... No loss to me, though. I left & have never looked back.
This video is a game-changer! Sometimes the most powerful move is simply walking away and reclaiming your worth. Thank you for reminding us of our value
My option is me, my self love, self worth, self respect. No Ill will on the broken souls that can’t even chose themselves let alone another person. Walking away isn’t a game but a mindset shift. If someone does not have the ability to love you as much as you love you then that’s the choice. You! It always was you and always will be you.
I completely disappeared from my best friend’s life after being treated like an option and used as a source of knowledge for personal development, all while feeling completely isolated from her personal life. The amount of good I’ve done for her is incomparable to anything I’ve done for anyone else. I didn’t deserve to be treated this way. Now, all I see is envy, insecurities, and a lack of genuine character in her. This bridge is completely burned for me, and for good reason.
I’m not sure I have anyone who would really care if I disappeared. I don’t think they would even care to contact me. I don’t think people care one way or another anymore.
Same here. But the most important thing is for us to care about ourselves. Do things we love that makes us happy, for example go for long walks in nature and by the sea, eat healthy, meditate etc.
This resonated on so many levels. The part about people taking you for granted until you're gone is so true. Walking away is not just about them-it’s about discovering your own value. Thank you for this eye-opener!
I'm done. After coming in and out of my life for 14 years, I called him out on his lies. He did not see it coming. It was so liberating. It's been 5 months now and even though doing this hurt me too, I did not budge an inch. I am really done. I feel so free!
This hits deep because to keep it frank I was the one chasing and feeling like I was left for dead by a person I thought had my back or really cared for me. What gets me is when random people who don’t know me or the details of the situation insert themselves and talk about how I’m crazy, this and that, jumping on the bandwagon trying to put me down too when they see I’m already down. I know karma is a real thing and I know everything that happened to me the universe has witnessed, I know from the very beginning my intentions was always pure and true, I’ve made mistakes because I’m not extraterrestrial. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have tried so hard after being rejected over and over again and I wouldn’t have been so heartbroken after being rejected once again. I finally decided to chose myself and work on what I want in my life and not one day goes by that I don’t think the person who hurt me couldn’t someday feel the same type of pain that they put me through. I’ve left it in God’s hands.
43 years ago I was not able to please any of my family and prior love interest. I got an air fare, finalized my taxes and sold off my assets without letting any of them know. I mailed a letter to my parents from the airport, got onto that plane and made a whole new life with people I had never met before. It was 7 years before I let a few know where I went and they still couldn't understand why I would never want to go back. I once went for a 10 day visit along with my wife and she told me on the flight back "You were right when you said I wouldn't like them." Toxic people never change so when you go you may as well stay gone, they will only behave the same way again. People don't change for long.
My ex monkey branched to another after four mostly good years with me. He is a people pleaser who lets himself be manipulated. He also has avoidance tendencies. I tested sucure attachment style. He wanted to be friends. Nope. I let him go without tears or drama. I think he thought I would always be a part of his life. Nope. He texts occasionally for birthdays , and holidays. I have decided to stop responding to texts. Instead of no contact, I am now going radio silence forever. Inner work hours a day for a year is paying off. I am healing, moving on, and becoming the best version of myself. I ran across this excellent video for a reason. It is so informative. 🙏💕🤗
Mine was people pleaser too & avoidant . Def c-ptsd in him. He would not commit to deeper level . Am beginning to wonder if he was sexually aloof , as def showing narcissistic traits at times .
This video hits hard-sometimes the most empowering thing we can do is walk away and reclaim our worth. The stages of self-reflection and emotional independence truly resonate. Thank you for such a powerful reminder!
I’m done being an option… I have self-respect I finally realized I love myself more than I love him although I do love him very much. Praying he’ll come back, but only if he changes praying to God in the universe for change Taurus from Tampa.
Amazing. I’m done with being an option. I know my worth. I know how I deserve to be treated and unconditionally loved. This could not be a more timely message for me to receive today. After blocking someone whom I know really wasn’t expecting to be blocked. Thank you for bringing me this message today. I am incredibly grateful. This answers everything I needed to hear today, and gives me the reassurance that I made the right decision and took the right action. Thank you.
I got stuff out of my chest to him with Anger.He started calling as I went on no contact in one day calls never stop.I got tired of hearing the Narcissism ,Cheater voice on my home phone that I could not block.I change all numbers and move on and found my Piece and respect for myself.I will never look back.
For me this video is powerful. Thank you for posting. I call mybwife on things and experience her wrath. Through her trials i have been with her. Her family tried manybways of putting her in a home i have defended her. Then last month was enough. I am planning my departure. Thank you again.
I will never let myself be an option to anyone! Five days ago he suggested us having an open relationship, as he both wanted his freedom seeing other women and keeping me, he said. I've not given him an answer yet, but of course my answer is NO. Now I've disappeared on him completely. I can feel his energy that he is worried, lost, confused, and scared of losing me for good now. 😀
O honey please see him for what he is to be so unkind to speak to you this way there is no love or respect you are a thing to him not a human wishing you a better future.
He just told you who he is. Don’t waste your thoughts on him. Think only of the type of man you want… what did I say? Think only on the type of man you want! Do not let him in again his was there to teach you a lesson and I hope you’ve learnt it.
Thanks everyone for your comments and support. 💜 Just to let you know, I didn’t take him back. I have walked away from him, as I know my value and worth, and I have respect and love for myself. ❤️
We had the breakup and he kept posting about being happy for almost two years. Then, I changed my number focussed on my self. It has been more than a year, all I have posted is about my artwork. No instigating posts, nothing that can give any info about me. I am happy!
Yes I did it immediately went into silent, but faced alone, now I’m better n getting more better, I have experienced first time of getting ghosted by someone
My parents are like this since i ditched them. That's what they get for taking me for granted. I'm not a bragging right, nor am I a free babysitter. I'm not an object, nor am i a verbal punching bag. Im not a robot. I am me, and i choose happiness.
I’M DONE BEING AN OPTION!! i decided just now that i will walk away from her life and never come back. i know this isn’t going to be easy but i have to respect my self and protect my inner peace.
Okay, I'm subscribed to Stoic community, and one of my current reads is "The Meditations", by Marcus Aurelius, but I must protest this video. Here's why: What if it isn't always so black or white - what if there is gray area and the person left behind did love deeply, did kind things, was affectionate, kind, a good listener, thoughtful, funny, silly, created many shared experiences over 4 years(like concerts, day trips, hikes, art shows, family get togethers, workouts, mtn biking, walks, cozy dinner and movies etc) but learned about things like their own childhood trauma and fearful-avoidant attachment style too late? What if they did show up, but their attachment style prevented them from showing up CONSISTENTLY? I understand that we are all responsible to recognize and correct our problems so that we can be good, functional, responsible people, and good partners - but what if the "horrible" person just did not realize where their patterns of behavior were coming from, or why they push people away and that counseling is needed? The video is potentially dangerous because decent people who have been left in this manner can commit suicide - even if they're in counseling and doing deep introspection, learning, and growth. I know about suicide. This video might be the the last thing someone needs to commit suicide- especially if there are existing mental health issues like depression or anxiety. Depression in particular. I agree that no one should ever be taken for granted or just be an "option". I believe healthy relationships take 2 healthy people, work, commitment, and some sacrifices to be made (like the fearful-avoidants so called "independence") The points regarding the benefits and growth the person who walks away gains are valid and good, but they're made in a subtly hateful and not so subtly vengeful way, that whispers to the person being left behind - the one being ghosted - " just kill yourself." There is nothing useful said about the other human being in the equation, and there needs to be. BOTH sides need to be positively addressed in a video like this.
I'm done being an option. Sir I owe a word of thank you because in facing these problems right now but started listening to you, I have Peace already and strength 💪 ❤
Had to leave behind a close friend after comming into money aquired him lots of friends. When I needed him for an emergency ,he listened ,and did nothing. It was a small reasonable request. He wanted my company around without the duties of friendship. After shaming me later ,I left and never looked back. Three years it's been ,and he tries to communicate ,but I'm still not ready. He leaves messages that he loves me like a brother to others through the grape vine. I'm over being hurt ,but not ready to come back around. Don't know if I should ,or will. It's a cousin ,so that's my issue. Enjoying the peace and liberation of cutting out all recognizeable deadwood in my life since then. My circle is small now ,and better. Self reflection and personal journey to living with integrity and purpose has been the theme I now live by. Peace with God and self , priceless !
I've never wondered what they feel because I've completely moved on and they just don't cross my mind . If you're wondering how they feel then I suggest you might not be over them
Coming into 2025 I'm turning 50 and I'm an option for many and I can honestly say I have tried to keep friendships. I'm over it. Coming into the new year I will put in the same energy I receive. I'm tired and my time is precious.
Amen. You reach a point in your life that you need to start taking care of yourself, and that includes getting rid of people in your life that do not bring joy. You deserve the best. Those people never change. Don’t ever let another human being get in the way of your health; mentally and physically
I’ve been doing this since high school. I call it “red-lining.” Before technology took over, we used day planners that had a personal phone book. If I drew a red line through your name, I was done with you forever.
@ - That’s the same look I got from others I told about this practice, too. Looking back it may been a bit extreme. But, it was the 1980’s and we did everything to the max. It worked for me, so…oh well.
IM DONE being an option!! I voted with my feet 3 months ago They never saw it coming ..foolishly thought I'd always be there .Superbly articulated video
A situation that has been dead for a long time, and I'm indifferent to yet keeps coming back has to end. I am not interested other than knowing that everything is better when I'm solo....atleast right now. No regrets.....I'm not responsible for anyone else's happiness
Your video beautifully captures the transformative power of absence and detachment-a concept so deeply rooted in Stoic philosophy. It’s fascinating how stepping back not only protects our peace but also holds up a mirror for others to see our value more clearly. As I explore similar themes on my channel, Unmasking the Shadow, I’ve seen how silence and self-respect can shift the dynamics of any relationship. Sometimes, the most profound statements are made not with words, but with the strength to walk away. Thank you for shedding light on this empowering perspective!
My ex has borderline personality disorder. After 18 years of living in her hell, I walked away. Move out over a weekend, went straight through the divorce, shutting her out as much as possible. She was still texting me up to 14 years later voicing her regret. I took a lot of satisfaction in that, but I’m happily remarried for about 15 years now.
Bless you! I just got out of a few month relationship with a BPD- I am a woman and so was she Omg talk about a NIGHTMARE! Idk how you lasted so long Glad you are doing well!!
These points you have made are not just relevant to romantic relationships, they apply to friendship and family as well. And, never take that sort of abusive person back.
I AM DONE BEING AN OPTION!!! I believe I actually mean it as well. I am tired of being that ride or die chick and not get the treatment in return. I don’t ask for nothing but TIME from ppl I helped out and can’t even get that smh. I’m surprisingly not sad about the ppl either. They will definitely miss me when I am gone!!!
This video is packed with insights! The explanation at 02:03 about how people take others for granted until they’re gone is so relatable and thought-provoking. It's such a wake-up call about valuing connections. Great job on breaking down the emotional stages-truly compelling content!
I've been done being an option for 5 years. The last 2 ladies I dated and walked away from show me my growth. Sure we can miss them, but not allow them back in. As soon as we start thinking what if, we need to remind ourselves how they treated us... enough said!!!
Call me Madame Houdini! I had to go NO CONTACT with my sister, son, and cousins. They spent overtime trying to manipulate me. It drained my spirit, and I gave up trying to pour my love into a bottomless pit. Narcissist do not change they only drain! Does it hurt to go no contact? Of course, it does. But my peace of mind is far more important than trying to love the unlovable.
Wow! I totally relate. I am sorry this is your reality too, but your sharing helps me know that I am not the only one who has been through this with family. What sucks is that some people actually have supportive enough/ healthy enough families to where they treat you like you are crazy or pathetic because they cannot understand why someone wouldn't talk to their "family".
I've grown so much..learned so much.most importantly I am aware of my value and no one can ever take that away! I wish I knew what I know now many years ago.
This is fascinating! I've never thought about the emotional stages someone goes through when you disappear from their life. I'm definitely going to try this "ghosting" technique next time someone takes me for granted. 😉
It’s surprising how powerful silence can be. Ghosting isn’t just about disappearing-it’s about reclaiming your own peace and leaving them to face the void they created. 👻✨"
Did this 3 years ago. While he was out playing tennis I threw my clothes and stuff in the car, went to the bank and took my money out and left town for good. Best thing I ever did.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'M DONE BEING AN OPTION!! I NEED TO HAVE SELF RESPECT FOR MYSELF!! THAT'S THE TRUTH!!
🙌🙌🙌
How did you do it that
Same here
❤️✊
Absolutely right! Choosing self-respect over being someone's option is a powerful decision. When you prioritize yourself, you show others how you deserve to be treated. Disappearing from toxic situations isn't just an escape-it's a statement of your worth. Stay strong and keep putting yourself first! 💪✨
It has been 9 years since I walked away. I never looked back since , it wasn’t easy, but I feel stronger now, wiser and more independent.
9 years and you're still talking about it?
@@mypassions8880 u made it Congrats
Congratulations.hoping to have that freedom
@@jobunny919 yes, even ..ready for this? 50!
It's how We heal.🚶👁️
I'm done being an option. Did this a a day ago. Have to protect my peace
You deserve to be a priority, not an option. Protecting your worth is an important step to building a better life. Continue to be strong and set clear boundaries! 💪✨
good stay safe and always value you you precious and we all need to have respect, love, being cherished I have been gone fore 15 days now and I am finding myself singing , sleeping well, laughing more, its all an amazing feeling.....
Am done being an option
Yes indeed.
The truth is no one cares if you disappear
I moved across the other side of the country and completely disappeared and went "dark" ;I made myself the option. I learned that when your life falls apart, its really falling into place and you need to see it as this 🙂
I need what you just posted. Thank you
@@rodneyhenchliffe754 I sincerely hope it works out for you Rodney. Best of luck
@billmiller1868 thanks, and it has worked out. And now I'm writing the book towards helping others trying to end psychopathological narcissistic abuse in their life.
@@rodneyhenchliffe754 Many Thanks @rodneyhenchliffe754 I wish you the best of success and you have chosen a great vocation. Nothing worth doing is easy! Best of Luck Rodney. Actually luck has nothing to do with it,hard work does
Outstanding COMMENT MAN!! I two , thought I was suffering and things couldn’t get any worse! But in reality, best thing ever happened got me! I dumped all SELF SERVING so called friends! Trust me, 98% of who used to call friends are REJECTED - IM GOOD!!!!
I left my family , fake friends and never looked back. Not being loved is horrible, my whole life mentally abused, missed goals. Now I live better than ever building my life at 52 with my precious children. Even Immigrated from my native Dutch roots to spain andalucia. Nothing is easy but way better. I'm done being an option ❤🙏🏽
@@charlie-girl72 i am 70! and i want to tell you that you have many years to go. Enjoy every day as a gift from God .
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Similar situation here and also not looking back. I’m so happy for you ❤
Same and have never felt more at ✌ peace.
Working towards that goal. My family is killing me. I'm out.
Omg, this was so deeply satisfying. I'm two weeks into no contact. He told me a few times he knows I'm not going anywhere, that I'll always come back. Let's see about that!
Don't go back ever to him!
@helenatapper777 thank you for the encouragement, I needed it.
@@h3arty You are welcome. You are a queen and deserve so much better than him! 💜
Stay strong, narks have a strong negative energy. XOXO mutual friend
Keep strong. Don't look back, ever. More power to you!
Wonderful. Topic: Silence. Nothing is more powerful than silence. Ban people from your life who harm you. I am very lucky that since I am self-employed and downsized my life, I am surrounded by only good friends, honest friends, people who not only speak but follow with action. This is one of the greatest presents I received in life. Also cut my narcissistic mother out of my life. Since then, life is so much lighter, easier, happier.
I’m so proud of you Thank you sharing May every aspect of your life day by day become more joyful and prosperous
Truth! They love to argue and put you down, I didn't gave any of them any chance, those are abusers and deeply jealous envious. Now I magnet kind people! Self Worth is powerful and magical. Silence is gold ❤
Hey can you tell me more about narccacist mother behaviour?
@ plenty of videos online here on UA-cam. It would fill a book if I would write you here.
❤
When you vanish without a word, it creates mystery-and reflection.
It only creates the option you are totaly jerk 🎉
@@bzuco890🙄
"Just slip out the back Jack, make a new plan Stan, don't need to be coy Roy, just set yourself free."
That's one of my favorite songs from childhood.
That's a fact Jack!
Hop on the bus, Gus. Don't need 2 discuss much. Flip off the key, Lee. Set yourself free!😊
I'm old enough that this made me laugh
a Man,
Should always have a
Plan B.....👁️
Yep, it works when you walk out. They’ll chase and pursue, don’t give up, they’ll continue taking you for granted once you give up. This is a life changing decision. Changing for the better. You deserve it! Be proud of yourself, have dignity and integrity, you’re no more an option; you have control of your life and emotions. It’ll take time but you’ll come out on top, a winner!!! Suffering is part of life, don’t be afraid, it cleanses and brings you to higher levels of success. You’ll be alright!
The part about ‘the void of missing you’ really hit home. It’s incredible how people only start to realize your value when you’re no longer there. Time to stop being an option and start being the priority in my own life! Who’s with me? 🙌🔥
I never got chased like I wanted! But next
I blocked that person for good and it’s been more than a month! Thanks for the words of confidence
I’m proud of you. Keep your eyes on what’s ahead.
How do u feel after a month?
Funny how after 6 months, they ring the phone off the hook.
By that time you have adjusted and found a new friend
Aw that’s sad. Hope they’re doing okay.
Wow, this video is a game-changer! It’s so empowering to realize the strength in walking away and reclaiming your worth. Sometimes silence says more than words ever could. Thank you for this reminder!
I'm done being an option, I walked away 9 months ago without a word, leaving everything in the house. I am now on a spiritual journey and I am the happiest I have ever been. Thank you universe for your guidance. 🙏🏼💫💫
Good for you
I did the same--best thong
I’m done being an option. I chose the love that chooses me. ❤
He pulled the silent ghosting for 41/2 years then I silently walked away 11/2 years ago
Takes tremendous courage and facing my fears separate from him
I am done from being an option. I don't need to chasing someone WHO doesnt value me. I HAVE RESPECT OF MYSELF. . I LOVE MYSELF. I VALUED MYSELF..🙏❤️
Wow, this video is such a wake-up call! It's amazing how silence can be one of the loudest ways to reclaim your worth. Anyone else feel like this is the push they needed to take control of their emotional independence? 💪✨
That's what I do today I walk away and. will never comeback anymore.. I'm too stressed to love someone who doesn't care my feelingss.. for now I want to respect my self
Someone has to care 1st to be bothered by your absence.
Facts.... their actions that caused us to walk away show they don't care.
Strongly agree!!!..
I'm done feeling unloved and I want my self respect back
Me too! We deserve so much better ❤
I walked away after a 6 month marriage. He turned very unpredictable and violent at times. Although he never hit me, I felt that leaving him was best and I never looked back. The last time I saw him he was crying so much, and I told him, sorry it’s too late … it’s been over 10 years, and I do not regret it a bit. He took me for granted and he thought that because I loved him so much, I would never leave him, but I did. Even though it was painful for me,but I would not let anyone trash me and my dignity.
Well done! Good luck to you!
OK your story makes sense if you decide ,any one has the right to do what is good for them,,,,What has happened now after you left Him?
Have you found one to be with? have you had a happy relationship?
I'm done being an option. 3 people in a relationship is a crowd.
INDEED🎉❤
Got that right!
Exactly, and really good for you realizing your self worth.❤ Five days ago he suggested us having an open relationship, as he both wanted his freedom seeing other women and keeping me, he said. I've not given him an answer yet, but of course my answer is NO. Now I've disappeared on him completely. I can feel his energy that he is worried, lost, confused, and scared of losing me for good now. 😀
@@helenatapper777 why are men such Aholes???
@Helenatapper777, stay”lost” and don’t let him find you, ever! He doesn’t deserve you. He’s insecure, immature, and if he wants to date others, you’re only an option. Hell NO and no!
I’m done being an option long ago. 2 years 4 months and counting. Never go back. Never look back. They were strangers from the start. Never ever mistake them for family, again!
The stages of what they feel when you disappear hit so deeply, especially the idea of emotional independence. It’s amazing how stepping back can reveal so much about their behavior and our own strength. Such a powerful message!
True
It took me 2 years to finally get away for good & even then, I was trying to be nice just to maintain the peace.
Little did he know, I was only waiting for the right moment to disappear.
I honestly don't think it even bothered him at all - he moves fast.
I'm pretty sure he already had someone lined up long before...
No loss to me, though.
I left & have never looked back.
He would never ever miss me - but I no longer care. That's a victory for me.
Absolutely! The real victory is when you realize your worth doesn't depend on anyone else. You’ve won your freedom. 🙌💫"
I've walked away from many toxic people, they don't care, made me realize I was around a bunch of phonies
I too can relate,
I Truly do Understand.
We have to TakeCare of
Our own infirmities..👁️
We all got Skeletons.
This video is a game-changer! Sometimes the most powerful move is simply walking away and reclaiming your worth. Thank you for reminding us of our value
I did this & she contacted all of my relatives & created all kinds of chaos so take this as a warning!!!
Narcissist
My option is me, my self love, self worth, self respect. No Ill will on the broken souls that can’t even chose themselves let alone another person. Walking away isn’t a game but a mindset shift. If someone does not have the ability to love you as much as you love you then that’s the choice. You! It always was you and always will be you.
Couldn't of said it better!
I completely disappeared from my best friend’s life after being treated like an option and used as a source of knowledge for personal development, all while feeling completely isolated from her personal life. The amount of good I’ve done for her is incomparable to anything I’ve done for anyone else. I didn’t deserve to be treated this way. Now, all I see is envy, insecurities, and a lack of genuine character in her. This bridge is completely burned for me, and for good reason.
I’m not sure I have anyone who would really care if I disappeared. I don’t think they would even care to contact me. I don’t think people care one way or another anymore.
I know how you feel. I feel the same way
Feel the same
Same here. But the most important thing is for us to care about ourselves. Do things we love that makes us happy, for example go for long walks in nature and by the sea, eat healthy, meditate etc.
You are feeling exactly how they want you to feel....unimportant
They will miss you...sometimes it takes time.
Be patient , you'll win!
Wow! I totally relate to that, and it's sad!
I’m done being an option. Did this yesterday💪
good job keep up the work you precious to have all things in life that give us joy and love....
This resonated on so many levels. The part about people taking you for granted until you're gone is so true. Walking away is not just about them-it’s about discovering your own value. Thank you for this eye-opener!
I'm done. After coming in and out of my life for 14 years, I called him out on his lies. He did not see it coming. It was so liberating. It's been 5 months now and even though doing this hurt me too, I did not budge an inch. I am really done. I feel so free!
Fuck yea gurl get it. I type this in a mcdonalds parking lot because I left and sleeping in my car too.
I’m really proud of you, sis. Keep your focus forward and continue loving yourself.
Good for you girl 🙏🏻
@@joshuawest5967 Go you! Smart and STRONG af! Better times are around the corner for you.
THIS is brutal😮 I wish I had had this video 30 years ago❤
12 years ago! 4 years ago! 😂
Yes leave them like a choice if you're being treated like an option
Do not reconnect with toxic people. Let them stew in their own juices. I have done this and it works wonders!
This hits deep because to keep it frank I was the one chasing and feeling like I was left for dead by a person I thought had my back or really cared for me. What gets me is when random people who don’t know me or the details of the situation insert themselves and talk about how I’m crazy, this and that, jumping on the bandwagon trying to put me down too when they see I’m already down. I know karma is a real thing and I know everything that happened to me the universe has witnessed, I know from the very beginning my intentions was always pure and true, I’ve made mistakes because I’m not extraterrestrial. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have tried so hard after being rejected over and over again and I wouldn’t have been so heartbroken after being rejected once again. I finally decided to chose myself and work on what I want in my life and not one day goes by that I don’t think the person who hurt me couldn’t someday feel the same type of pain that they put me through. I’ve left it in God’s hands.
you wrote about it, now you need to tell someone - it will do you good! And don't stop praying.
43 years ago I was not able to please any of my family and prior love interest. I got an air fare, finalized my taxes and sold off my assets without letting any of them know. I mailed a letter to my parents from the airport, got onto that plane and made a whole new life with people I had never met before. It was 7 years before I let a few know where I went and they still couldn't understand why I would never want to go back. I once went for a 10 day visit along with my wife and she told me on the flight back "You were right when you said I wouldn't like them." Toxic people never change so when you go you may as well stay gone, they will only behave the same way again. People don't change for long.
I'm done being an option, regardless of whether it's a friendship or a relationship, I've always gone the extra mile and not gotten it back in return.
My ex monkey branched to another after four mostly good years with me. He is a people pleaser who lets himself be manipulated. He also has avoidance tendencies. I tested sucure attachment style. He wanted to be friends. Nope. I let him go without tears or drama. I think he thought I would always be a part of his life. Nope. He texts occasionally for birthdays , and holidays. I have decided to stop responding to texts. Instead of no contact, I am now going radio silence forever. Inner work hours a day for a year is paying off. I am healing, moving on, and becoming the best version of myself. I ran across this excellent video for a reason. It is so informative. 🙏💕🤗
Mine was people pleaser too & avoidant . Def c-ptsd in him. He would not commit to deeper level . Am beginning to wonder if he was sexually aloof , as def showing narcissistic traits at times .
This video hits hard-sometimes the most empowering thing we can do is walk away and reclaim our worth. The stages of self-reflection and emotional independence truly resonate. Thank you for such a powerful reminder!
I’m done being an option… I have self-respect I finally realized I love myself more than I love him although I do love him very much. Praying he’ll come back, but only if he changes praying to God in the universe for change Taurus from Tampa.
You'll be ok whatever happens 🫶
When I was discarded it was one of the happiest moments of my life. Every morning I say my prayers - "Thank-you. She is gone forever. Praise be".
hahaha a good one :)
Mental Health is what we all need to keep moving on.
Amazing.
I’m done with being an option.
I know my worth.
I know how I deserve to be treated and unconditionally loved.
This could not be a more timely message for me to receive today. After blocking someone whom I know really wasn’t expecting to be blocked.
Thank you for bringing me this message today. I am incredibly grateful.
This answers everything I needed to hear today, and gives me the reassurance that I made the right decision and took the right action.
Thank you.
I agree with many comments here. People in your live have have to care first in order to miss you.
I am done being an option . I have protect my emotions. 🙏🙏
I left no contact 10 months now. It was hard.
Silence is Golden 🙂↕️
I'm done being an option!! Period!
I’m done being an option. I love the love that chooses me ❤
Yes. I'm in control now ❤
No more liabilities. Sometimes being alone is the best thing. Im getting to the stage where i actually enjoy it
"True strength comes when you realize peace is found within, not in others. 🌿 Enjoying your own company is the ultimate freedom. ✨"
I’ve been done being an option! disappeared a year ago and never looked back. Lol
Im on month 1. Sleepin in the car. Any kids?
@ yes 3 kids. Do you have any kids?
Good for you 😉😉
I got stuff out of my chest to him with Anger.He started calling as I went on no contact in one day calls never stop.I got tired of hearing the Narcissism ,Cheater voice on my home phone that I could not block.I change all numbers and move on and found my Piece and respect for myself.I will never look back.
Peace
For me this video is powerful. Thank you for posting. I call mybwife on things and experience her wrath. Through her trials i have been with her. Her family tried manybways of putting her in a home i have defended her. Then last month was enough. I am planning my departure. Thank you again.
Take care of you Doug.
I will never let myself be an option to anyone! Five days ago he suggested us having an open relationship, as he both wanted his freedom seeing other women and keeping me, he said. I've not given him an answer yet, but of course my answer is NO. Now I've disappeared on him completely. I can feel his energy that he is worried, lost, confused, and scared of losing me for good now. 😀
Run woman run
O honey please see him for what he is to be so unkind to speak to you this way there is no love or respect you are a thing to him not a human wishing you a better future.
He just told you who he is. Don’t waste your thoughts on him. Think only of the type of man you want… what did I say? Think only on the type of man you want! Do not let him in again his was there to teach you a lesson and I hope you’ve learnt it.
Thanks everyone for your comments and support. 💜 Just to let you know, I didn’t take him back. I have walked away from him, as I know my value and worth, and I have respect and love for myself. ❤️
We had the breakup and he kept posting about being happy for almost two years. Then, I changed my number focussed on my self. It has been more than a year, all I have posted is about my artwork. No instigating posts, nothing that can give any info about me. I am happy!
Yes I did it immediately went into silent, but faced alone, now I’m better n getting more better, I have experienced first time of getting ghosted by someone
being ghosted when you thought you were special to someone is eye-opening. Like wow! that person should go to Hollyweird!
Keep ya head up boss.
My parents are like this since i ditched them. That's what they get for taking me for granted. I'm not a bragging right, nor am I a free babysitter. I'm not an object, nor am i a verbal punching bag. Im not a robot. I am me, and i choose happiness.
Yes . I think you are a very valuable person.. . You deserve to be treated with respect. ❤
I’M DONE BEING AN OPTION!!
i decided just now that i will walk away from her life and never come back. i know this isn’t going to be easy but i have to respect my self and protect my inner peace.
moved, new number...the relationship made me feel a new type of lonely
Well done, I'm proud of you ❤ never look back. Better to be alone than in bad company!
Okay, I'm subscribed to Stoic community, and one of my current reads is "The Meditations", by Marcus Aurelius, but I must protest this video. Here's why:
What if it isn't always so black or white - what if there is gray area and the person left behind did love deeply, did kind things, was affectionate, kind, a good listener, thoughtful, funny, silly, created many shared experiences over 4 years(like concerts, day trips, hikes, art shows, family get togethers, workouts, mtn biking, walks, cozy dinner and movies etc) but learned about things like their own childhood trauma and fearful-avoidant attachment style too late?
What if they did show up, but their attachment style prevented them from showing up CONSISTENTLY?
I understand that we are all responsible to recognize and correct our problems so that we can be good, functional, responsible people, and good partners - but what if the "horrible" person just did not realize where their patterns of behavior were coming from, or why they push people away and that counseling is needed?
The video is potentially dangerous because decent people who have been left in this manner can commit suicide - even if they're in counseling and doing deep introspection, learning, and growth. I know about suicide.
This video might be the the last thing someone needs to commit suicide- especially if there are existing mental health issues like depression or anxiety. Depression in particular.
I agree that no one should ever be taken for granted or just be an "option". I believe healthy relationships take 2 healthy people, work, commitment, and some sacrifices to be made (like the fearful-avoidants so called "independence")
The points regarding the benefits and growth the person who walks away gains are valid and good, but they're made in a subtly hateful and not so subtly vengeful way, that whispers to the person being left behind - the one being ghosted - " just kill yourself."
There is nothing useful said about the other human being in the equation, and there needs to be. BOTH sides need to be positively addressed in a video like this.
I'm done being an option. Sir I owe a word of thank you because in facing these problems right now but started listening to you, I have Peace already and strength 💪 ❤
I AM DONE BEING AN OPTION❤🔥🔥🔥💜💜💜❤️💕🙏
IM DONE BEING AN OPTION!!!!! 🙌👏
I'm done being an option! I will no longer be taken for granted!
I am done being option…keep my self respect.
Had to leave behind a close friend after comming into money aquired him lots of friends. When I needed him for an emergency ,he listened ,and did nothing. It was a small reasonable request.
He wanted my company around without the duties of friendship.
After shaming me later ,I left and never looked back.
Three years it's been ,and he tries to communicate ,but I'm still not ready. He leaves messages that he loves me like a brother to others through the grape vine.
I'm over being hurt ,but not ready to come back around. Don't know if I should ,or will.
It's a cousin ,so that's my issue.
Enjoying the peace and liberation of cutting out all recognizeable deadwood in my life since then.
My circle is small now ,and better.
Self reflection and personal journey to living with integrity and purpose has been the theme I now live by. Peace with God and self , priceless !
I got rid of 90% percent of the people in my life 8 or 9 years ago. I don't miss them and hopefully they don't miss me
I never do respond, When I'm gone,I'm just gone,This is the lesson, they have to learn how to treat people🙏🏽
One of the biggest human sorts of strength is the one of having the courage to walk away...
Actually, when some people leave your life there can be a sense of relief..like when someone is antagonistic, controlling or selfish.
I am totally done being an option and being taken granted of
I'm done being an option... Im going to find my own happiness..
Definitely done, SO done being an option as of NOW
I'm done being an option. New year, focus on my goals and revitalize my life!
I've never wondered what they feel because I've completely moved on and they just don't cross my mind . If you're wondering how they feel then I suggest you might not be over them
I'm done being an option
Coming into 2025 I'm turning 50 and I'm an option for many and I can honestly say I have tried to keep friendships. I'm over it. Coming into the new year I will put in the same energy I receive. I'm tired and my time is precious.
Amen. You reach a point in your life that you need to start taking care of yourself, and that includes getting rid of people in your life that do not bring joy. You deserve the best. Those people never change. Don’t ever let another human being get in the way of your health; mentally and physically
I walked away 13 years ago, it was hard, but it has been so worth it. Thanks for the video.
"13 years of strength, growth, and freedom... some walks are hard, but they lead to the most beautiful destinations. 🌟 You’re living proof."
I’ve been doing this since high school. I call it “red-lining.” Before technology took over, we used day planners that had a personal phone book. If I drew a red line through your name, I was done with you forever.
😮
@ - That’s the same look I got from others I told about this practice, too. Looking back it may been a bit extreme. But, it was the 1980’s and we did everything to the max. It worked for me, so…oh well.
5'years of pain of being an option...thank you I understand how to be free....from a situation with out true respect
IM DONE being an option!! I voted with my feet 3 months ago They never saw it coming ..foolishly thought I'd always be there
.Superbly articulated video
A situation that has been dead for a long time, and I'm indifferent to yet keeps coming back has to end. I am not interested other than knowing that everything is better when I'm solo....atleast right now. No regrets.....I'm not responsible for anyone else's happiness
Do what you want while you still can...
Your video beautifully captures the transformative power of absence and detachment-a concept so deeply rooted in Stoic philosophy. It’s fascinating how stepping back not only protects our peace but also holds up a mirror for others to see our value more clearly. As I explore similar themes on my channel, Unmasking the Shadow, I’ve seen how silence and self-respect can shift the dynamics of any relationship. Sometimes, the most profound statements are made not with words, but with the strength to walk away. Thank you for shedding light on this empowering perspective!
My ex has borderline personality disorder. After 18 years of living in her hell, I walked away. Move out over a weekend, went straight through the divorce, shutting her out as much as possible. She was still texting me up to 14 years later voicing her regret. I took a lot of satisfaction in that, but I’m happily remarried for about 15 years now.
Bless you! I just got out of a few month relationship with a BPD- I am a woman and so was she
Omg talk about a NIGHTMARE! Idk how you lasted so long
Glad you are doing well!!
These points you have made are not just relevant to romantic relationships, they apply to friendship and family as well. And, never take that sort of abusive person back.
I was not expecting that ending to the video! Blew me away but it's true -- never allow them back in your life because the cycle will continue.
I AM DONE BEING AN OPTION!!! I believe I actually mean it as well. I am tired of being that ride or die chick and not get the treatment in return. I don’t ask for nothing but TIME from ppl I helped out and can’t even get that smh. I’m surprisingly not sad about the ppl either. They will definitely miss me when I am gone!!!
💯 REAL TAWK!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I am so done and I am not an option. I have gone silent and I'm in control.
I’m done being an option 💎
This video is packed with insights! The explanation at 02:03 about how people take others for granted until they’re gone is so relatable and thought-provoking. It's such a wake-up call about valuing connections. Great job on breaking down the emotional stages-truly compelling content!
I'm done being an option! This is a great and fabulous stoic video.
I appreciate your time and effort in helping me uplift and grow. 🎩
I’m done being an option. Thank You❤️
I'm done being an option! I disappeared from the connection days ago, blocked everything & I'm moving on!
I've been done being an option for 5 years.
The last 2 ladies I dated and walked away from show me my growth.
Sure we can miss them, but not allow them back in.
As soon as we start thinking what if, we need to remind ourselves how they treated us... enough said!!!
I am done being treated disrespectfully.
OOOOH YESSSSS!
I have left the building! NO TURNING BACK!
I DESERVE BETTER!
This channel changed my mindset.... Thanks a lot.. God bless you🙏 Now i realize my worth
Call me Madame Houdini! I had to go NO CONTACT with my sister, son, and cousins. They spent overtime trying to manipulate me. It drained my spirit, and I gave up trying to pour my love into a bottomless pit. Narcissist do not change they only drain! Does it hurt to go no contact? Of course, it does. But my peace of mind is far more important than trying to love the unlovable.
Wow! I totally relate. I am sorry this is your reality too, but your sharing helps me know that I am not the only one who has been through this with family.
What sucks is that some people actually have supportive enough/ healthy enough families to where they treat you like you are crazy or pathetic because they cannot understand why someone wouldn't talk to their "family".
I've grown so much..learned so much.most importantly I am aware of my value and no one can ever take that away! I wish I knew what I know now many years ago.
This is fascinating! I've never thought about the emotional stages someone goes through when you disappear from their life. I'm definitely going to try this "ghosting" technique next time someone takes me for granted. 😉
It’s surprising how powerful silence can be. Ghosting isn’t just about disappearing-it’s about reclaiming your own peace and leaving them to face the void they created. 👻✨"