Why Saying "No" is Healthy for OFWs | Retired OFW
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
- Why Saying "No" is Healthy for OFWs
This video is part of our series on Setting Boundaries as Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs).
If we want to maximize our time abroad so we can retire on our own terms in the Philippines or elsewhere, we need to learn to set boundaries -- to say NO -- to people. Of course not to everyone, just to people who take advantage of us.
In this video, we will discuss the people we should say "No" to, what we should not be giving away, and how to say no properly and help if we can.
Usapang Tulong at Utang: Naranasan niyo na ba humindi? Ano nangyari? Ano ang ginawa niyo? Pls share your stories so we can learn from each other. 😊
I did not say Hindi ang ginawako Ay nagbibingibingihan, as if I didn’t hear anything, enough is enough don’t let bad karma as in kikitilin ng nasa itaas ang kanilang buhay dahil sa pangaabuso. Yes utang hu hulogan daw buanbuan pero months later Wala naman pumasok sa accountko. Nakakasukana!
Panggastos sa kasal, sa debit, sa birthday, sa pasko etc etc! I don’t spend money on any of the above: I save my money to buy food and pay the bills period. They want to celebrate on something? Well, save their money to fund their style not me. They can piss off!
ako rin .
naka relate din aq dun sa messages nila.
"hello ate"
Yes, I refused and was met with tampo. That was 10 years ago, from my favorite brother. Bahala na sinong mauna sa libingan but I won't be hostage into buying his love!
Base on my experience, sa 10 beses na pagtulong mo sa isang tao, 1 beses na tumanggi ka balewala na ung mga naitulong mo. Pero ang kagandahan sa pagtanggi is once nag-No ka, nde na sila mag aattempt na lumapit sayo, unlike you always say Yes (nagiging abusado sila) isang beses ka magyes, aabusuhin kana. Nagiging obligasyon na at the end ang pagtulong na binibigay mo. And it's very bad for them dahil tinuturuan lang natin silang maging dependent sayo, so nagiging tamad lang sila.
Minsan tayong OFW nagset na ng boundaries pero mismong magulang nating nag eenable sa ibang pamilyaa o relatives by giving to them sa padala na para sana sa parents natin.
Agree on that ‘pampa-kasal’. Kung di pala kayang gastusan ang union nila, bakit mag aasawa? We also did mass wedding sa Dubai din noon...bec we were young and didnt have much funds to spend lavishly on a wedding. Pero, we never asked any money gifts from anyone, plus we were lucky that with the money we saved on the wedding, we were able to get our own place immediately and buy all our stuff as we started out in life.
Wow! Same tayo, mass wedding din kami sa Consulate. And yes, sana hindi magpakasal nang bongga kung ipapangutang din lang. Ang hirap yung bagong kasal palang, lubog na sa utang.
Congratulations pala sa inyo, you did well on your first decision together as a married couple! Nawa mas marami lang OFWs na maging gaya niyo. 😊
@@PausePraySimplify thanks, sis! Thanks din sa mga helpful at sensible advices mo...nakakatulong sha talaga. :) Praying for more blessings for you and family! Naway lahat ng OFW gaya mo :)
Super relate ako ate ja! Daming bisis na nagbigay puhunan sa mga kapatid paulit-ulit. Daming nangutang na hnd na binayaran. Friends, relatives at kht hnd mo close friends.I’ve wasted too much money nawala nalang na prang bula! Pinasa Diyos ko nalang 😊. Until now lapitin parin ng mangu2tang nakakatakot na kapag nangamusta Kaya hnd kona binabasa. 😁
Hi Liz! Naku sadly oo nga, magnet talaga sa mga utangero ang OFW. But that's good that you've drawn the line. Otherwise, kung bigay tayo ng bigay na wala namang sense of responsibility and discipline ang binibigyan, tayo mismo ang hindi makakaipon and makakaprepare for retirement. Tayo ang walang mararating, kung meron man, matatagalan. This time, OFW muna, self muna lalo na kung for the longest time ay nauna na ang iba. Go Liz, kaya yan! #TuloyLang
I love how you explain this topic. Kalmado lang ang boses and talagang feel ko Yung genuine care mo. ❤ thank you
Thank you, thank you, Sis maganda. 🙏
Ang dami ko kasi nameet na kabayan natin while I was still working in Dubai na talagang kawawa sila. Hindi sila naempower to say no. That saying "No" to relatives and friends, especially when you can't afford it, is OK. Kaya goal ko na maempower ang ating nga kabayan. Nawa mas marami pang mareach ang ating channel.
Thanks for watching sis! 😊
It's difficult to set boundaries, lalo pa Alam mo mahirap ang buhay SA atin. Pero it's true pag tau ang kailangan Ng tulong dito SA abroad, Tayo pa ang nahiya maningil SA MGA may utang SA atin na Hindi nagbayad😢.
Yes Ate. Sadly, this is true. Ang OFW lagi tagasalba, pero kapag sila na nangailangan, walang makatulong sa kanila 😔
Hope mabago na ito sooooon.
Correct, lahat na lng inaasa sa OFW, pang gatas ng mga anak, pang bili ng bigas, pamasahe, pang-tuition, pang burol ng kapitbahay, at kung anu-ano pa ang maisip nila..
Central Bank ang tingin sa mga taga abroad ... good video ... just say no 😷
Yes, yung mga relatives natin na wala namang constant communication sa atin, all of a sudden "nangangamusta", kabahan ka na. Also nagiging normal na din sa atin ang ayuda mind set ( tulong= ayuda, ayaw nila ng prayers lang) which doesn't help anyone. To all our OFW/ Balikbayan brothers and sisters out there, please remember that OK lang to say NO, lalong lalo na pag wala ka talagang budget or you are saving your money for your future and rainy days. Kung nagagalit sila sa inyo after, that means they don't deserve to be in your life. I personally don't mind helping if pang emergency . Ang pinaka ayaw ko yung nanghihingi pambili ng cellphone, pang fiesta or pang death anniversary. I say no to those outright and luckily, wala pa namang nang aaway sa akin lol. Anong bang magagawa nila malayo naman tayo😀.
Yes yes, yung "ayuda mindset" ngayon mas lalong nagpalala sa thinking ng karamihan, I think. It's really sad.
First time ko pala nakarinig na humirit for fiesta and death anniversary. Hala 😅. But I hope mas marami pang OFW ang magkaroon ng mindset mo rin that it's okay to say no for our own peace. 🙏🙏🙏
Thanks for watching and sharing your insights! 😊
That is the trick, you better learn it. “ oh auntie kumain kana ba, ininom mona ba gamot mo, Hwag kang Nagpupuyat ha.” Aguy! Akalamo totoo she cares, yun pala uutang Lang! Sabeko Anong ipa Pautang ko Wala naman akong trabaho, alangan uutang ako sa banko o friends? Talking about friends mahigpit Tao dito Pinoy o strangers pag uutang ka at sabihin sa yo sa banko 😢ka umutang hindi sa Tao!pag narinig the word “Pautang”, walang hiya ka pag uutang ka sa Tao dito.
It’s everyone’s birth right to reject utang! Nakakahiyang ugali sa Pinas it’s a different world, parang waterproof, alamnathis culture. Oh auntie walana kaming isaing, pangpulotan naman dyan oh, birthday ko Wala man Lang panginom etc etc. Talking about birthday pag birth day ko Wala silang pakialam pero pag birth day nila, akalamo May human banko sila hayst!😢
Sad and it’s true …
I agreed to your topic nak🥰
That's right . Relate KO Yan . So Appreciated AKO SA explanation mo .Thank You So Much .
Its a good video very nice topic, isa rin akong tagbuhan ng mga family friends and relatives, puro hingi pautang pang negosyo non nakuha na nila gusto nila at singilin sila ako pa ang masama , kayat now iv knew it how to say a BIG NO dahil untill now wala pa rin ngbayad, mag ipon din ako para sa Future ko, mahirap tumanda na walang pera 👌
Yes Beth, this time future mo na ang priority. That's a good decision! 🙏 No one else will fight for your future but you. 🙏💪
Thanks for watching! 😊
When i attended trainings on financial mas umaayos din ang pag plano ko sa finances😊
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, i can totally relate and by the time you open your mouth and say “no” you become a bad person. I married a caucasian guy and that is even worse, they think money becomes unlimited and always ready when they need it. I am a giving person but i have my limit and i stop feeling guilty. Still i am a bad person to them. Unfortunately, they have a very expectation from us and usually we contribute to the problem as well- we need to change our ways- stop being guilty , we are not a financial institution
Oh no. I'm so sorry that your relatives feel that way when you set boundaries. But that's to be expected and you are right, we shouldn't feel guilty. We will help if we can, but only if it's the right situation and the right people. It's good that you're putting your foot down. Eventually, they'll understand. If they don't, it is not our concern anymore. 🙏 thanks for watching and sharing your thoughts as well. 😊
Naku madam 100% true talaga mga nabanggit mo! Meron pa nga mag send ng pictures na nasa hospital, meron pa nga pa awa effect! Naku daming madus para makahuka ng pera😅
This is our sad reality nga po. The good thing is pwede na tayo mag set ng healthy boundaries na hindi kailangan mahiya o maguilty. Nawa maempower tayong lahat ng OFWs na makapag-isip this way so we can all have healthy relationships with money, and most importantly, with one another. Thanks for watching po!
Great Content
Thanks for your videos. They are very inspiring! My wife and I are replicating a similar business model as you thanks to your inspiration. We purchased land in Panama and will be building 3 units to begin. Once completed, I will share pictures with you. Again thanks and may God continue to bless all of your work and efforts.
Hi Felix! Wow congratulations in advance! Didn't know we're reaching Panama! Glad you could understand our language 😅
But just the same, I hope your build will be smooth and your business a booming one. God bless your new adventure! 😊🙏
OFW rin ako...GANON TALAGA nangyayari...PROBLEMA NILA PERA, PERO MAKIKITA MO SA SOCIAL MEDIA, BIRTHDAY, MGA OKASYON PROBLEMA NLA WLA LECHON..KAILANGAN TALAGA MAY LECH😅N SA BAWAT OKASYON SA BUHAY NLA
Been following this channel for a while.
Thank you thank you 🙏 Hope nakakatulong po. God bless!
True kaya di nako ng mesenger maalala ka lng if need nila pera 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
Ako rin madam .di talaga maiiwasan mga ganung situation, npaka ganda ng iyong paliwanag,,been a long time ..kmusta na ung bahay pangarap ba yun? Tapos nb? @ higit sa lahat naka boo nb kau ni engr. Ng isang angel? Anyways salamat sa pg share ng iyong kaalaman..gbu
Hi Don! 😊 Ikaw rin pala 'di nakaligtas. Yes yes, tapos na ang Balai Biyaya. Nag-move-in kami Feb 2021 awa ng Diyos. Praise God for that blessing. Hindi pa kami nakakabuo 😔 Pero Lord willing this year na. Nagbabawas na rin ako ng pagpunta sa site para less stress. Lord willing, this year na. 🙏🙏🙏 Salamat sa well wishes! God bless you too! 😊
So brave girl. I hope and pray marami pa tyong matuto to say no. Praise God for your lives and excited for new videos.
Salamat salamat po. Hopefully nga po yan ang maging conviction ng marami sa ating OFW for our family and future 🙏. Thanks fot watching! 😊
@@PausePraySimplify yes sis so people would be encouraged to help out but helping themselves as well. We just noticed and watched you guys, nagmarathon kmi ng lahat ng videos nyo simula balai biyaya and all your projects. We’d like to meet you guys when we go for a vacation sa Pinas esp when we visit Palawan. God bless you and keep you both and your families.
@cilledelight4831 oh wow! Naku buti natolerate niyo ang boses at itsura namin 😅. Thank you thank you, we appreciate it. We hope to give value to our fellow OFWs. Hopefully we can inspire a new breed of OFWs so we can be ready for the future
Thanks for watching our videos. Message lang po if you're here so we can meet. 😊 Gaod bless po!
@@PausePraySimplify you are fun to watch nung tumagal na. Feeling ko magkaibigan na tyo. Well, we are sisters in Christ. Truly the Lord is leading us to Christian UA-camrs. I love your topics about money. I learnt from my friend that she got from Dave Ramsey to do the snow ❄️ ball effect in paying debts. Thanks for sharing your learnings.
Hello sis, avid follower here and residing in japan. This is really true sis. Actually pang 3 beses ko ng depression here with severe anxiety na. For 22 yrs helping them , so sad na depression lng sinukli nila sa akin. And now stop na ang padala.
Hello po Sis. Naku I'm so sorry to hear this po. Sad reality nga po natin. I hope you're able to get professional help for your depression. Also, we, OFWs, can be empowered to set healthy boundaries din to protect ourselves and our future.
Thank you po for watching! Hello to everyone in Japan!!! 😊
@@PausePraySimplify hello sis, thank you. Yeah and i live with it, kung mahina lng ako ay wala na. I focused my energy sa goal ko, which is to have 200k php monthly passive income sa rentals lng. I absorbed and live my depression and anxiety, i have this rightnow, but it doesn’t mean na magpapalamon na ako sa kumunoy. And yeah, i enjoy watching my on going project . Need to divert to motivate . Thanks sis.
@@reoiwagishi8688 it's good you have goals and projects to look forward to! Ang ganda ng plans mo. God bless your heart's desire, and may He grant you healing as well. 🤗🤗🤗
Pag nagbigay ka kasi ng pera, wag mo na expect na bayaran ka. Be prepared not to get that money back, sa culture natin. Ako, I give money gifts sa close ko lang at pag bday,at di ganun kalakihan. And if I gave something, di ko na inaasahang ibalik kasi I know naman wala nang bayaran yun.
aden ka dyan palawan tangay
11:34 I fully agree po. Thats why na ako na pala utang rin (pero good payer naman din po ako 😊) hindi po ako nangugutang sa family members, relatives or even friends kasi ayoko ma compromise yun relationship namin. In other words, ayokong masira ang relasyon nang dahil lang sa utang. Kung mag uutang man lang ako, sa lending, coop or sa bangko na lng kasi hindi ko naman sila ka anu-anu.
That's a good perspective -- you value friendships and relationships. 🙏🙏🙏 Sana lahat ganun. 🙏
Thanks for watching!!! 😊
I agree.. helping those people several times is already tolerating them so stop it kc d tayo nkkatulong tinuturuan ntin silang dependent..I never tolerate those kind of people..if I helped I never expect anything in return but helping is limited yung kaya lang ng bulsa ko kc hindi ako bnko pinaghihirapan ang kinikitang pera bilang ofw..
Totoo iba ang utang sa tulong..ang utang dapat byaran at ang tulong wala ng balikan
Amen amen to that po! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights. I hope more of our kabayans will have this kind of perspective. It's time to set healthy boundaries for all of us and our future.
Thanks for watching po! 😊
Hello Maam🙋🏾♀️ Godbless
God bless din sis!
ME TOO! May natutuhan sana matutu nman n
Nakaka relate po ako dyan. Dumami kamag anak ko 1 month palang kmi sa abroad. Ang dami na din nangunumusta sakin. Papautangin ko, then pag maniningil nko nagagalit na. Ndi dw ako nakakaintindi. Kalaunan mo eh i-bablock nko sa fb. Nagkasakit ako sa paniningil eh hehe....
Aduy, I'm so sorry that happened. Yes, minsan ang paniningil nga ang pinakastressful sa lahat. Kaya best na rin na hindi magpahiram kasi dagdag sakit sa ulo lang.
Thank you for sharing 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you Ja🥰
Thanks for watching din Te! 🤗🤗🤗
Mam buti nga po kayo kinakamusta pa. Minsan mag chchat nalang sayo ng Pautang. Minsan di din nila maisip ung hirap sa ibang bansa. Minsan ma aasar ka nalang din parang my pa tago sayo. 😂 pero yeah the bottom line is not consent their “utang”.
waiting for ur fb reels maam.
Aw. Hopefully po makashoot and upload ako 🙏🙏🙏
Me i learned to say no kalaunan...tama nmn sabi din ng marami kung may extra ka lang..if not wag mona sirain budget mo dahil di madali kpg ikaw...ang nangailangan.😅
Wowwww! That's good sis! Yun ang pinakamahirap gawin sa totoo lang. But once you've learned how to say no, hindi na siya mahirap gawin. I'm happy for you. Nawa mainspire ang marami sa iyong resolve. #TuloyLang
Ako rin...ang masama talaga kinalimutan na.
I think marami-rami ring nagkakaamnesia after makautang. :( Ang masaklap, walang gamot ito. This is really sad.
Relateginawa akong A T M machine at fenancier ng problima nila sa pera, kaya ghosting na ako sa pinas . Hindi masama tumulong kaya lang nakakapagod 😢
I'm so sorry to hear this po. Sadly, this is the experience of many of our OFWs. Kaya talagang it's time to empower ourselves and know when to set healthy boundaries. I hope mas marami pang makapanood ng video na ito and matulungan. Thanks for watching po! 😊
Ako higit 30 years tumutulong sa mga kapatid piro ngayon na madami na ako naramdaman na sakit unti2 ko na sila binibitawan nagagalit pag hindi na bigyan kaya ni restrict ko sila sa fb messenger
Aduy. That's really sad yo hear po. But good that you're already setting boundaries. It's high time to choose yourself this time. 🙏 More power po!
The problem with “utang” wala naman planong to pay back
This is true almost every time 😔
Hello po silent subs here po, relate much po sa mga sinasabi nyo (sad to say ka pamilya mo pa. yong pinapa guilt trip kayo pag may hihingin pero pag may pera lakwatsa dito lakwatsa doon, meron namang isa na hihingi pang bili ng cake sa bday ng anak tinulungan mo makapag umpisa tapos winaldas ang dapat na pang umpisa kami ang nag papakahirap sa pag iipon akanila pinupulot mo lng ang pera sa kalsada kong makahingi sila hayyyy)
pwidi pong mag tanong kong saan po sa Palawan located ang apartment nyo po? salamat po at God bless us and stay all safe 🙏❤
Ako din Ma'am. Kahit hindi pa ako OFW natatakbuhan na. Gasgas na ang salitang " next pay out:" hehehe 😁Meron pa nga pamasahe na lang juskoday iGCASH pa. Kalowka.
Tayo daw ang takbuhan (papunta sila satin) at tinatakbuhan (palayo kapag nakauyang na). Sad. But it's time for us to be firm for our future. Otherwise, wala tayo maiipon. Thanks for watching, Jasper! 🙏
Naranasan kona yan pamilya ko lagi ganyan nangongomosta lang kong mayron kailangan pati kaibigan nangongo mosta alam kona mga kailangan nila hindi ko open marami na messegaes poydi pahiram sa pamilya nmn ganon din kong nabigyan na wala na balita hindi na nag messeges or tawag kona kona wala kaya alam kona pag mag messeges sila or tawag nang tawag wala pa isang buwan hingi na naman naibigay ko mas malaki pa sa sahod ko wala na matira sa sahod ko imbis ipunin mo hindi Ma ipon
hahaha...kinakabahan tlga aq ma'am pag may nangungumusta..ksi alam k n ang kasunod😂😂
😅😅😅 Dalawa lang yan -- mangungutang o mag-aalok ng something. Pero yes, just say no, if 'di kaya. Wag mahihiya
@@PausePraySimplify Tama po kyo ma'am ☺️
Nung nabubuhay pa ang mother ko 13 yrs. OFW siya walang naipon dahil sa mga bwisit na kamag-anak anlakas mang-hynotized ang mga loko.
Me to
Pls make reel video
Will try po 🙏🙏🙏 sa ngayon super busy, but will find time. Ano po topic ang gusto niyo? Thanks for the suggestion. 🙏
Kya once a year Lang ako mg upload s Kabila Kong FB. Kasi marami mangungutang sakin dun at hndi na babayaran 😂.
Kya now seen mode nko or hndi ko na e open msg. And sign out agad. At dali Dali mg log in s other acct ko s fb na nandun mga workmates ko s abroad. 😅
Keep it up, sis! We say "no" now, so we can say Yes to things that matter later. #TuloyLang
i guess you have to judge a person first before helping them
Yes po, we have to judge or assess the person and his situation first. We cannot help everybody every time. 🙏
Kung walang pera Hwag mang utang at Hwag magcelebrate! It’s an insult to borrow money to fund their style of life. Kahit sabihin pang papatungan ng interest DONT BELIEVE IT! It’s a life style sa Pinas ang mang ha tso, mangScam, mangabuso kafamilya man o Hindi DONT TRUST! Life style in the Philippines is the opposite with what you have accustomed to living abroad. It’s humiliation to accept but that is the fact. It’s totally a different world.
Yes po, for most people, it's already a habit to borrow money to fund their lifestyle. That's why we OFWs need to be more discerning. Kaya tayo rin po talaga naga set ng boundaries para di maabuso. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for watching! 😊
Totoo yan Naku lalo na mga kaibigan mo sa pinas na Hindi mo close noon ngayon magbibihis ka na lang bigla ka nanlang imemessage una Kamusta Kamusta maya maya mangungutang na !
Ako rin, then naglaho na
Aduy! May kasabihan nga na kung gusto mo malaman kung tunay ang kaibigan mo, pautangin mo. Sadly this is true most case. :( Pero every day is a good day to learn and start again! From this day forward, no more na! Sarili naman ang uunahin natin, kaya yan. :)
Naku! Ang dami naming experience na ganyan... Meron pa po, nagpanggap na may Stage 4 brain cancer, yun pala nandudugas lang para makakuha ng pera sa amin.
Oh no. Grabe grabe kung ganun. Awa ng Diyos wala pa naman ako naexperience na ganun. Sana wala talaga 🙏
Thanks for sharing 👍
Sino po nag eedit ng mga videos ninyo?
Ah ako po. 😅✌️
ako rin..😂😂
😅😅😅
Wala nilapastangan na rent ng bahay ko tapos magaapload pa “walana raw ako Kailangan Wala ng PANSIN.” Paano mo pagtitiwalaan kung trinaidor ka ng minsan don’t trust again! I am 73 na magEExpect parin, kaya ignore them! God is my witness they are all traitors, no exception. I don’t need them before the hell I don’t need them now!
I'm so sorry to hear this po. Nawa maging maayos pa rin ang lahat in the end. 🙏
Meron pa nga solicitation 😂😂😂 sa mismong tita mo pa😅
Ugly part of our culture. Minsan, hindi lang kamag anak. Mga ‘kaibigan’ kuno na di mo naman close bago ka nag OFW..biglang mangungumusta at later on magpaparinig na ng pangangailangan nya. Biglang bigla bestie ka na. At ikaw pa masama pag di ka nakapagbigay.
Hi Maiah! Sadly yes, this does happen. Hay. 😔
ako rin , nangutang pambayad sa utang 😂 big NO
Hi sis. Naku I'm so sorry sa mga nangyari sayo. I think ito ang isa sa mga horror stories ng halos lahat ng OFW :( I really would like to change this and we can do this bit by bit by learning how to set healthy boundaries by saying no. I hope I hope maging considerate rin ang mga kapamilya natin. Anyhow, sa Puerto Princesa Palawan po kami.
Thanks for watching and God bless din po! :)
Ako Lagan yung utang mga tao sa pinas kahit kaibigan ko pa sya nun binablock ko kagad taman yun maging money wise kase di pinupulot pera dito di nila alam ! Tapos mangungutang wala nang bayaran yun ang masakit wala nang bayaran yun!
go pay your electric bill, using outside sunlight to show video
I learned na once mag pa utang ka, ikaw na ang ATM!!
The sad reality 😔😔😔.
Nakaka distract ang manok lol
😅 ahahaha! Natawa talaga ako dito. Pasensya na sis ha. May manukan kasi sa kapitbahay. Wala pa ata akong mic that time 😔 Pasensya na ulit at salamat sa panonood 🙏
Matutung mang unfriend sa fb haha
Yes yes, this is okay for our own peace. We don't have to be friends with everyone, especially if other people see us as friends only for the benefits they can get from us. So para wala ng gulo, we can limit our friendships virtually and even sa real world.
Sa akin bigla ako nagjng ninang s mg anak na wala naman ako dun nung pinganak. Bigla dumami mg inaanak ko haha tapos sabihin magbayad ako dami daw utang s mga inaanak ko putik
Shotgun godparent pala 😅 ikaw pa ngayon ang nagkautang. Grabe grabe 😅
Relatives are rela- thieves
Aw this is new for me. For sure, hindi lahat. Marami po siguro, but not all. Still, let's shield up and set healthy boundaries 🙏🙏🙏