As a binary, dysphoric trans guy, I just want to say that Kalvin doesn’t represent all of us. There are trans men who don’t hate enbies, who see them as truly and as trans as we are, regardless of their dysphoria (or lack-thereof), if they have plans to medically transition, or the stage of their transition. Id also like to say that while Blaire White is a big figure of transmedicalism, I see this issue happening a lot more with trans men and transmasculine nonbinary people, which I think shows a greater disdain for any perceived feminity in men or people who “should” be men.
YEAH I see it too. I’m not sure if it’s toxic masculinity but in trans men form or just internalized transphobia. Either way, it baffles me how people think that everyone experiences their identities and dysphoria the same universally.
@@arcijrluvzu6407 Speaking as a transman who was, regretfully, transmed for a brief time: For me, it was a mixture of toxic masculinity, my own insecurities and a medical system that made me fight hard to prove I was trans in order to get treatment. These things together really drove me into a toxic mindset... I'm not saying these things as an excuse, I'm just trying to provide a personal insight. I never thought that enbies weren't valid or anything (y'all are valid and I love ya), but I did used to think that in order to be trans you had to experience some level of dysphoria and have a desire to medically transition in some way. If I saw someone not conforming with those things, I would think they were a transtrender and doing it for attention. Reality is, if I saw some teen calling themselves a transman, wearing clothes that didn't make them look 'masculine enough' or using make-up, saying that you don't need dysphoria... it made me feel annoyed. There I was, in my 20s, in my dysphoria hoodie, having to wait another 4 months to be able to start T, after having already been questioned relentlessly by a doctor for months about whether I was masc enough to be considered trans--- meanwhile this teen is waving the trans flag proudly... I struggled to see us as even remotely similar. So I'd just think they weren't actually trans. I was upset at my own situation and blamed these types of trans people on my struggle to be accepted. I never actually harassed or messaged anyone (I'd never stoop that low), I'm talking about just internally b*tching to myself about people. The worst I did was try to convince conservative types that "we're not all that bad, most of us are normal!"... which of course only ever served to convince them that _I_ was 'normal'. That made me feel awful. After a few attempts at trying to convince people, I realised the end result was the same. It was just me throwing others under the bus for no good reason at that point. That whole thing made me stop and reflect on what I had been doing, the beliefs I had... Then, thankfully, earlier this year I found my queen ContraPoints! Her Transtrender video was the hard slap in the face I needed to snap out of it completely. I've been on T for almost a year now, no longer a depressed mess, happier and more comfy in my body... and deeply regretful of all the things I thought and said about my fellow trans people. Like, I can't believe that I ever believed that transmedicalist garbage! I was bloody awful! I hope more people come to their senses about this stuff. Transmedicalism isn't helping our situation. (...I wrote a lot and I'm not even sure if all that made sense, my bad!)
this is very important to be allies, im a binary trans man (kinda) and i want any nonbinary person who reads this to know, people like kalvin garrah are a very small minority, and alot of us are here for you, to be allies and to fight for ALL trans and nonbinary rights, at least i am
Thank you. You got the nail on the head. the fact that I used to be exactly like him, disgusts me. the way I acted and how I used it as a way to say "oh well, im not like them so my dysphoria is valid and im real" and thats just so gross. it made me dysphoric with anything slightly feminine and like I must like women, because that's masculine, right? I've been set back so much by his videos and I've hurt so many other trans people. I've tried to apologize to many of them, but many have blocked me or didn't accept my apologies, which is 100% valid.
I remember in the past as a teen I used to be toxic and transmed since I myself wasn’t on T yet and had internalized hatred for myself, honestly ashamed I used to like Kalvin
"Kalvin Garrah has no authority..." was my favourite line. Because he wants SO much to believe he is the king of trans people and can dictate what all of us feel like and how we present.
Exactly! Like, who died and made you boss, Kalvin? How exactly was Brennan's existence online "speaking over" him? Does every trans and nb person have to get a permission slip from the Goodest Most Real and Valid Transgender council of elders (two of which are ofc him and Blaire White) before opening their mouths?
Kalvin taught me that trans women MUST express their gender in a feminine way, trans men MUST express their gender in a masculine way, and non binary people MUST express their gender in an androgynous way. Regardless of whether his beliefs on that have changed or not, I’m disappointed that he influenced my mindset in that way for such a long time.
person above is wrong, he is still like that but selectively like "see trans guys can be feminine i wear nail polish" but how dare u wear makeup or a dress
Its so wierd to me that people think trans women cant be masculine and trans men cant be feminine, because cis women can be masculine and cis males can be feminine.
@@mr.foster2879 I understand that your point is that the original poster shouldn't blame Garrah for their own formerly restrictive views on gender presentation and expression (though you can teach someone an idea without explicitly saying the idea), but please don't use "feeble-minded" as a synonym for "weak-willed". It's an offensive term for intellectually disabled people.
Yeah I will never understand how people think that way. A cis woman can be as masculine as she wants and no one is going to accuse her of not being a woman. (Well that isn't exactly true, but the vast majority of people won't). A cis woman can be hyper feminine, androgynous, or super masculine, but as long as you know she has a vagina, then of course she is a woman. But the second a trans woman is not wearing a face full of makeup, or she doesn't shave, or is wearing a more masculine outfit, then she is faking it. And god forbid she doesn't "pass". Why are trans people held to such different standards than cis people?
@@chickinbrasket7837 he literally gave me internalised transphobia lol. when I started watching him, I was an impressionable 13 year old just starting my transition. He made me feel like i couldn't be feminine or I wasn't trans. He invalidated EVERYONE who did not have his type of dysphoria and EVERYONE who didn't dress masculine. like, I really would make fun of people for wearing skirts because he said it was wrong and I believed him. I know at least 200 people who were like me, (from a discord server I was in which basically worshipped the man) so, no, it's not a reach.
@@leouwu5079 plus he made the online trans community INCREDIBLY unsafe for a lot of trans ppl. i remember almost crying when i was like 14 bc i was scared my friend who supported kalvin would hate me/not think i was rlly trans if i was slightly feminine (i'm genderfluid)
@@sarinabina5487 man I feel this I had friends who liked Kalvin and I was scared to show my nb side (I'm bigender, a nonbinary guy) because I thought they'd think I wasn't trans enough. I was scared to be femme, even though I express rather femininely and love makeup. The only good point he gave me was that dysphoria is needed to be trans; but even then, it comes in many different forms and not experiencing it the same as him does not make one invalid.
"Speaking over transmascs." I'm so confused. You physically cannot have transmascs if you don't have transfemmes and andros. Why does Kalvin think that only transmasc voices matter? And of course, if transmascs don't have to same opinion as him they're "trying to speak over him." Jesus Christ, does he not think before he speaks? Or think, ever?
And then people still think I'm fucking insane for thinking that trans men can be misogynists. 🙂 He has such a powerful hatred for women and femmes, and he is the most popular trans guy on the internet, but apparently IM the asshole for saying the transmasc community is sexist. Men anger me. 🙂🙂🙂🙂
I'm so embarrassed that I used to be one of his fans. I forgot how horribly inaccurate and downright cruel his videos are until you showed those clips.
For a while, I bought what he was saying(or at least considered it) purely because of the way he presented himself. He's not good at arguing at all but, he's really charismatic and confident and he knows how to make himself look calm and rational next to the "crazy transtrenders". And at the time, I didn't know everything about beings trans(still don't because cis woman) and I saw him as an authority. Needless to say, I've learned some stuff and grown up. I can't say this with total authority, but I think it's safe to say that his(and more so Blaire's) content appeals more to cis people than actual trans people.
i've seen a lot of ex-kalvin garrah fans sharing their stories, so i think i'll give mine a go: hi. i'm a binary trans guy who was never really attracted to traditionally feminine clothes and experiences pretty standard gender dysphoria. basically, kalvin's target audience. and a lot of the reason i'm so adversed to femininity is because of him. i started following him while i was still in denial about my identity, and thought i was a cis lesbian. his videos appealed to me, like many others, in no small part because they made me feel comfortable as a "cis" person. i was looking at this trans guy who didn't threaten any of my ideas of gender or what "a man" could look like, pointing and laughing at some crazy person who did. someone who said, "hey. i have long hair and a large chest and i wear the color pink and i'm _not a girl."_ and as someone who, at the time, did look and act that way, his videos gave me a sense of comfort. i was standing next to him as he laughed and said, "no, you _are_ a girl. you have long hair and a large chest and wear the color pink and so you _are_ a girl." and that meant i didn't need to question anything. i just took him at his word. so when my gender identity started plaguing my mind more and more, it was crushing me. it was the iron ball that followed me around everywhere, no matter how hard i tried to push it out. and i tried. a lot. when it got to the point where i could no longer ignore it, i had already stopped watching kalvin for about a year due to being uncomfortable with his usage of the "r" slur, but his rhetoric had already seeped its way into my mind and stuck. i was completely adamant about needing dysphoria to be trans, and even though i would never outright _deny_ the identities of trans people who seemed very GNC, i'd always side-eye them a bit. for almost a year of gender being the only thing on my mind daily, eventually i had to come to terms with the fact that i was a guy. and suddenly, the floodgates were open. in less than a month, i had cut my hair incredibly short, changed my entire wardrobe, and practically lived in a hoodie. and it turned out i was a lot more comfortable with some of those things, but his rhetoric had sent me into an identity of hypermasculinity. because of the people like him who had always told me that trans men couldn't be even slightly feminine, i had become miserable. my favorite tv shows? gone. my love of fashion and interesting clothing choices? gone. even art, which was something i had been doing for years and was one of my greatest passions, had become a source of dysphoria. kalvin garrah was the catalyst for my obsession with hypermasculinity and his videos have contributed massively to my dysphoria. of course, a lot of what i changed about myself in that month had to do with basic passing (like the hair, clothes, etc.). but the fandoms? the subcultures? the painting? none of that was going to change how the starbucks barista or the macy's employee or the stranger asking for directions would gender me. that had to do with the idea that had been implanted into my head by people like him that trans men _must_ perform every expectation of masculinity imaginable or they're "not trans." and that... sucks. because it's still there. the idea is still lurking in the back of my mind that if i wear the wrong shirt or laugh the wrong way or walk at the wrong pace that that i am wrong about everything. that i am wrong about my identity and my gender and my dysphoria. that i'm... just wrong. your video made me realize a lot of things about myself that had sort of been lurking under the surface for a while. so cheers to all the trans people who are still negatively affected by his rhetoric and someday being able to get over our collective trauma about nail polish.
I'm in my way finding out if I'm non-binary or just an akward cis person. Even thought I am 100% sure I am. I'm in this position were I am denying who I am. And today. Opening my phone. I found this video. I'm curious but I really don't want to go and search for his channel until I'll accept my identity. And I'll be 100% of who I'm to the point were even the strongest argument won't make me change my mind. I'm really sorry for what happen to you. He's was brainwashing you. And that's pathetic. Somehow I feel like he needed attention. And he was here just for clout. Seeing other people comment about what he said. They are all false. Even as a beginner. I know basic knowledge in the matter that makes me belive that what he says is false. He destroyed lifes and should take accountability for what he did. I hope people who were targeted by him are fine now.
@@blackfalcon3752 thanks for your reply! yeah, i really wouldn't recommend looking into his videos, especially as a nonbinary person. i agree that it's always good to research how people of different opinions think in order to develop your own worldview, but a lot of kalvin's "opinions" are really just bullying tactics meant to hurt GNC and nonbinary people. i wish you the best in working through your gender identity, and that however you choose to label yourself in the future is totally valid, my friend
he taught me that trans men cant be fem boys. I came out as trans in 2019 and now i am an enby. My style and identity is fluid. Im only 13 but ever since ive stopped watching him ive learnt that it isnt all muscles, moustaches and deep voices. Its about you and what you want. Im glad ive grown.
That is absolutely lovely to hear, i hope you're doing okay and staying safe! I personally currently still identify as a cis woman, but am using she/they pronouns to try it out and notice how i feel about that. I hope you're able to keep experimenting with what you want and don't want in a safe space! May you have a wonderful lovely day, sending a lot of platonic love to you!! ❤
Exactly! I’m so glad I wasn’t exposed to his content back when I was still unsure about my gender identity because I now identify as a trans boy but still dress femininely and do “feminine” like wearing makeup and jewelry so his content would’ve made my already extreme denial even worse and I would’ve taken so much longer to figure out I was trans despite it being so obvious
Same! I’m cis as well and when I found his channel i didn’t know anything about the trans community and since he’s trans himself I really believed anything he said. Now I know better and I’m really sorry.
@@jimenajaimes2826 As a cis person, I can tell you its less about him being a horrible monster, but more about the fact that he has done extremely harmful and horrible things, many of which he hasn't adressed or apologized for. I can't speak to the experiences and imapct he has had on all the trans people he has bullied and harmed. All I can do is listen and try to be empathetic.
goddamn ducks same! I’m a trans man believed a lot of what he said as I was trying to figure out who I saw and he was the only trans person with a decent platform so I got sucked into his narrative
Literally same. I wasn’t one who ever went and harassed Brennan but I watched that video and I’m sitting here feeling sick to my stomach from realising what these people really did to SO many others.
Ultimately, I think the reason Kalvin's message ended up being so effective is because a large percentage of his audience is young trans guys who are really insecure and are still trying to discern what it even means for them to be trans. They place this basis of their identity on something intangible, like their personal experience of dysphoria. So when someone also says they are trans but explains their dysphoria differently or has a different response to the dysphoria they do have, it feels like something is being taken away from them. When someone else "claims" to be trans but defines it in a different way, then either their own definition must be wrong - or the other person isn't trans. And people hate being wrong, so they assume the other person isn't trans and feel like they have to go on the attack to protect their own transness. Interestingly, this phenomenon is the mirror image of many trans people's response to detransitioners. They feel they must attack detransitioners (even if they are only speaking about their own experience) because their story upsets their narrative about what it means to be trans. I wish more people would see this. We can all coexist.
Also, Kalvin, more than an other trans person I've seen, will BRAG about how he used to bind like 24 hours a day. And how he will never let his partner see him naked or touch his actual body. How sad. But also, he's so triggered by his own body that to see someone else (e.g, you in the video he responded to) who is trans not hide their chest probably just makes him panic because he's like "I was trying to convince everyone (and myself) that I didn't have those parts and now you've shown the world that I really do!!!!" And I think a lot of people feel that way but don't understand what they're feeling
@@gamerguy5591 except for the fact that those two things arent outwardly 'showing off' characteristics. maybe those are more comfortable for someone to wear. its unfair to categorize gender dysphoria as symptoms that are cut and dry, because thats not how that works. as a nonbinary person, sometimes i feel more feminine than others. does that mean i dont experience dysphoria? no, it just means that some days i feel more comfortable than others. people wearing what they want doesnt inherently equal no gender dysphoria. if someone wears what makes them comfortable, why would the shape of their body inherently mean theyre 'showing off' those characteristics?
Also I think some cishets, or at least cissies stumble over his channel sometimes and when there’s a transguy who kinda gives them permission to bully other trans ppl (that don’t fit in their binary and stereotypical understanding of gender) they’ll listen since it fits perfectly in their morals.
Idk if I’m really a young trans guy or even a trans person at all but while I watched him I definitely though I was, I’m still questioning so idk but I can confirm this. I was 100% convinced I was a trans guy, and I may be idk, but his content made me feel like “yeah I’m not a trender I’m a real guy” and it definitely preys off misinformation and honestly cisnormative views of male and female. I’m ashamed to ever have liked his content
I hope the person who was dysphoric over a f***ing pop socket a wonderful day and a happy new year. I also hope you have a wonderful day and a happy new year, Brennan. And anyone who sees this comment, I hope you have a wonderful day and a happy new year.
He made a video whining about how someone said his dysphoria comes from his bad childhood. He was super offended that someone was defining why he's trans for him yet that's what he does to everyone else.
He's honestly just such a hateful person. I do not understand people like that and I never will. Everything he said in that video and many others, he could've just kept to himself.
Yeah! Honestly, I could even find a way to think slightly better of him than I do if he had made the video not thinking much of it but then seen what was going on and taken it down, told his followers to stop...but he didn't for YEARS. And he clearly never learned any lessons since he made many other similar videos just straight up mocking teens on tiktok etc who he thinks are Cringey Trenders. Its just so blatantly irresponsible given his following, and he is definitley old enough and has been online enough to know this could happen to someone he targeted. Or if it was debate or a real conversation he wanted he should have like, reached out to Brennan and asked about setting that up? But ofc it was just him ranting and mocking someone's identity (and body...class act Kalvin. Was that part really helpful and necessary to spread awareness for Real Trans People?)
Kalvin Garrah's new video on neopronouns is getting shat on with troll comments, memes/copypastas, and people pointing out his hypocrisy and I personally love how the tables have turned. Brenen we love u boo, you do you.
10:55 - "It's not a debate. It's not an argument. Kalvin Garrah has no authority to even suggest my identity is anything but what I say it is." Wow, this is so, so powerful. I replayed this part so many times.
i identified as a trans man for YEARS because of kalvin. his arguments and actions made me absolutely miserable because i tried to fit myself in the same box that he was in. obviously i couldn’t, i am not a trans man. even now, i still feel disgusted with myself on occasion because i am not what everyone wants to see when they think of a trans person. it’s taken me nearly five years to finally realize that i am who i am, and who i am is okay.
I feel really terrible about all this, and want to apologise. I am a cis woman, but a few years ago I went through a period of questioning my gender identity, and like most of you here, went down the rabbit hole of watching trans (mostly men) youtubers, and Kalvin Garrah was one of them. I remember watching his video on you, and lots of other "transtrenders" as he called them, and believe that he was right, and that you had to have dysphoria and fit into specific rules to be trans. I have since grown up, and learnt so much more about the trans and non-binary community, and especially since my sibling has come out as non-binary, I have learnt how vast and unique every trans experience is. My point of this is, that Kalvin's rhetoric doesn't just hurt young trans people watching him, but it also taught any cis person watching some really fucked up ideas about what it means to be trans, and in doing so perpetuated transphobia from people looking for a reason to hate on non-binary people. I am so sorry I listened to him, and I hope that we all continue to learn, grow and heal.
I went through a he same thing(I wasn’t questioning my gender, just my sexuality) but I have sense learned that, even if someone is a “trans trender”, they are fine! They are exploring their gender and in the end, If they are cis, now they know! And if their trans, great now they know! Not everyone knows their gender right away, I have a friend who has transitioned and come out like 2 or 3 times and now he knows that he is not NB and he is not a female. And it’s fine that he went on that journey, it was his.
lucy, elizabeth, ginger words will never express how thankful i am that there are cis people who will listen and change their beliefs accordingly, thank you so much. you're better people than you once were and i'm so unbelievably grateful that you're being open about mistakes you've made, you're beautiful and wonderful people and i'm so happy to be on the same earth as all of you
The sad part is, he was one of my first few exposures to the trans community (I didn’t even know I was trans at the time). I thought he was a kinda cool guy, I thought what he said was what people went by like they were rules. I watched him for a few months, but then stopped watching him because he wasn’t that interesting. But then I was introduced to what the trans community actually was, I realized I was non-binary, and it felt so great. He recently showed up on my UA-cam for you page and I thought “Hey, why not. I haven’t watched him in a while” and watched it. I got around 5 minutes in and I felt invalid, I felt like what I was feeling wasn’t real. I got off the video very quickly and realized how bad he was. I’ve heard him being awful but thought “He can’t be _that_ bad, right?” Yes, he can be that bad, and he is.
as a cis person consuming kalvin's content legit gave me so much internal transphobia and i'm undoing the damages as quickly as i can... i'm sorry that my views validated his bullshit and i want to be better.
That man is so ableist on top of being transphobic. I'm nuerodivergent, and experience gender differently than most would and he made me feel so invalid that I shut out any thoughts I had about possibly not being in the binary because of what people like him thought and it sucked Now i'm experimenting w/ neopronouns after completly rejecting the idea that I could use them for so long
I’m an autistic non-binary person and after watching Kalvin’s content I convinced myself that I was cis since I didn’t experience dysphoria in the same way as him. Now I know that is bs since 1) I am non-binary so obviously I experience dysphoria differently than a binary trans person and 2) I am autistic so my brain is wired differently than the neuro majority and I process the world differently than allistic people so it is also true here. I suppressed my true gender identity and forced myself to identify with saying I’m a cis woman since I didn’t have intensive dysphoria all the time and I didn’t want to be seen as a trender. About a week ago, I unsubscribed from Kalvin and finally came out as non-binary.
As a non-binary person, his ideologies had me messed up for years. I don’t have much physical dyphoria, but I do have it, and for years I hated myself bc his whole argument was saying I wasn’t trans enough.
The content that Kalvin, Blair, Arielle Scarcella make pushed me into the closet deeper as a teen. It wasn't until finding contrapoints that I realized I might actually be a valid trans girl
I hated myself because of transmedicalism for years, I was a fucking transmed too and I was constantly self analyzing and psyched myself out of seeking medical transition because I was worried the doctor would tell me I'm not dysphoric enough to be transgender. I didn't wear what I liked, I didn't do things I liked because they were seen as girly, I didn't dye my hair, I didn't DARE even wish for a binder in any colour other than black, white, grey, or nude. leaving transmedicalism made me feel so much better, I wear whatver, I have dyed hair, I do what I want, and use pronouns outside he/she/they. it was so freeing outside the hate I got from people I used to identify with (because they're cannibalistic wolves who will go after anyone)
as someone just entering their 40s, feeling super alienated by everything in life, it does give me somewhat of a glimmer of hope that the younger crew is doing such amazing work, and creating the kind of world that i thought we were moving toward when i was a kid. i hope one day people can enjoy that. i'm pretty sure it won't be me, but as long as its somebody, that's a thing for small joy. thanks for being you, and sharing that with us.
You are much more enjoyable to watch than Kalvin ever was. I'm not in a space where I can really express my identity and watching Kalvin while I was growing up in that situation made me feel like such a fake for not expressing it, and it made me scared to tell anyone. You're much more comforting to watch and I feel like you're a much better role model for young people in similar situations
Kalvin was one of the first trans influencers I had ever seen. I remember that video. I am forever sorry for my ignorance and contributing to the view count of that horrid video.
That's the wild thing, if I remember correctly he made it seems like his mum didn't find react like it was big deal when he told her he was trans. I guess even with support internalized transphobia doesn't go away
@@Hinzmana @Hinzmana What I meant was this isn't just a black and white case of cyberbullying. This is someone trans directing anger to people from his own community knowing the pain themselves. The belief is having an accepting home, friends, support system etc can negate the inner hate and build up self esteem especially with a transphobic society. I'd expect such behaviour from people who've dealt with huge rejection. His cyberbullying isn't going end till he goes to therapy to deal with the self hate. Because the root of the bullying (I think) is internalized transphobia. Honestly, I'd be shocked as a parent to see my kid who I've supported in their own transition bully other trans folks; when not everyone is lucky to have supportive parents or just support period. Sorry for the wall of text. it's sad that the popular trans youtubers are in a circlejerk and are the ones pushing transphobic dogwhistles and narrative. I do understand you can deal with internalized anything and still have support it's the fact the hate gone internal to external. Plus making money and being popular he's finally getting the validation he seems to want. There is way too much to unpack I'm just glad he is now starting to be held accountable.
i watched his content to help solidify the hate i was hearing in my community around me and keep myself repressed. i internalized so much transphobia and queerphobia from his bullying to creators i know realize i related to so much. it took 5 years for me to come out after finding his content.
for literal YEARS I suppressed being non binary because of him. I looked up to him so much to the point where I didn't want to wear anything feminine and looking in the mirror telling myself "you can't be non binary that's not real you have to be 100% masculine" and then going back to "I'm not trans I'm not trans I'm not trans I like makeup and dresses how could I be trans?" and it effects me still. I hid being genderfluid/nonbinary from my friends because I didn't want to be an "sjw" btw I was 11-14. I'm so glad you're speaking out about this. I'm so proud of you.
I had the same problem when I was a Kalvin fan. I thought I had to be FTM because I definitely wasn't cis, I hated being she/her and my female body, but I also like dresses and makeup and nail polish. I'm NB transmasc, and I didn't let myself explore that as a Kalvin fan.
I am not even in the trans community, and I was hurt by him. I'm an ace victim (of se*ual and physical @buse), and Kelvin once made a video full of misinfo, telling that aces are just "looking for attention" and have "problems medically" I can't say how much it fucked me up. from looking ways to "convert" myself to be hetro, to looking for a "cure" and self blaming myself for what happened to me. Kelvin even joked saying: "you never see asexuals being be@ten up on the street." But the thing is... I was. I was be@ten by my classmates for my ace behavior, they used to call me "freak" "loveless monster" and even throw stones at me before I even know what ace was. he didn't just stepped on the se*ual @buse, he continued with saying no ace is ever hurmed for being ace. Kelvin helped promoting the mentality of a group of fans (that still exist on face-book) those people mock ace victims of @bu$e, they they even mocked Bianca Davies (the girl who came out as ace hours before being k---d by an incel) He helped my internalized hatred of my ace and bi side for years, I always felt I can't be LGBT+ because he "demanded" that you have to be LGBT+ his way, or else, you just have something wrong with you. I thought something was just wrong with me for years. I used to be a fan, years ago, today, I can't even look at him. because of him, ace v*ct*ms stopped being taken seriously by the community for a LONG time after his "Asexual is not LGBT!" videos, A lot of his fans sended "pics&vids" of p0rn and r@pe on twitter to ace kids, a lot of his fans mocked ace v*ct*ms publicly, and sometimes, I still see some of them laughing every time an ace person tells their story. He basically ostracized my entire community Ace that did nothing wrong, we were always the smallest ones in the LGBT+, the most minority sexuality, and we never had a voice outside of our very small community, and he stepped all over us. I don't thik any ace feel safe in LGBT+ spaces anymore. and even as a bi ace, I don't feel safe in LGBT+ spaces any longer after his rhetoric spread in the community. I will never feel completely welcomed in my own community again. it would take years to stop all the r@pe apologist that he summand that claim "no ace was ever correctively r@ped because no ace is ever hurt for being ace!"
The fact that he spreads these harmful and baseless ''facts'' about the ace community is utterly disgusting. We experience the same kind of hatred, bigotry and (self-)doubt as other members of the LGBT+ community and seeing him belittle these experiences, even though he claims to advocate AGAINST this exact kind of behaviour is nothing short of laughable. I sincerely hope you are now in a better place mentally and that you get all the help and support you need!
i'm ace and panromantic and it really sucks how sometimes even in the lgbtq+ community asexuals (and others) are still treated as outcasts :c at my school we had a GSA but it ended up being kind of divided because some people wanted to include everyone but others were being gatekeepers. i specifically remember one kid who was openly bi and said that the acronym should only be LGBT because it 'covers everything' and using labels other than lesbian, gay, bi and trans would be harmful to the community somehow. after that i didnt come out at my school cause i didnt feel like i was one of those four things 🙃 (i even tried to explain that there can be a difference between romantic and sexual attraction and they just said "not really" lol 😭)
As a hypersexual bi/pan I wanna send some love to ace peeps. X the amount of shit you get is absolutely unreal and being hypersexual cis woman I definitely get hate, shame and problems from being on a different "extreme" of sexual desire spectrum and you are perfectly valid in the lgbt+ community! Much love to y'all ace aces. X
I just wanna say as a trans man who went through a “I have to destroy everything even slightly femme about me to be valid” because of mindsets like Kalvin, including a ‘trans specialist therapist’ (HA!), I appreciate you speaking up. It was honestly just as dangerous for me to try to destroy all of that part of me and just as insincere to a different extreme. I’m a dude who likes some feminine things, and has some feminine attributes in my personality, and that’s ok. I’m still a man cuz that’s who I am. I’m sorry you went through this, truly. But I’m glad you came back and took your strength and told your truth.
Me: how bad can kalvins rhetoric be? *sees everyone who went out and said that his fans attacked them and how his rhetoric hurt many young trans and nb kids* Me: oh Jesus Christ
i still struggle with severe internalised transphobia because of him and i'm SO glad this is happening because the idea that he is continuing to influence people terrifies me.
I used to support Kalvin Garrah, and I honestly don't know why I did. I am ashamed of the jerk I used to be, towards others and myself. I now am out as non binary and am becoming more confident in myself.
Another embarrassed ex-fan. I never watched the video he reacted to of you, however I whole heartedly apologize. You are so strong and I’m so so sorry you ever had to feel any pain because of other people’s ignorance.
I applaud you for your sincerity, honesty, and your unwillingness to combat anger and hatred with more anger and hatred. That is such a beautiful way to live. Keep being yourself.
I use to support Kalvin, but Im also a trans man who dosent dress to a social norm of what men "should" wear and I have and still am doubting myself because of it. ive been better lately with it and am becoming more accepting of myself as a trans man who likes to look cute sometimes (Who dosent?) and I thank you so much for making this video (Havent even finished by the time I am writing it) and I am trying to be more happy about who I am. that is all I have to say. Good day sir :)
fellow transman here :^D im so proud of you for your progress dude, lookin cute and feelin good is something everyone deserves regardless of their identity. sending you so much love, live your best life sam!!!
@@snoixalicious its Actually Teddy now 🤣 This is an old account and Ive been meaning to change my name 😁 and thank you so much for the support! I didnt even think Id get a response
i know i'm not the only one but i also wanted to apologize because i used to agree with him, mostly because i was a very insecure pre-T transman and kalvin created this sort of "target" where we could direct our insecurity and blame someone else for it. the more i began to listen to non binary people and their experiences the more i realized how awful and mean he really was, i learnt that i didn't need to understand an identity to respect it. I'm glad you're doing better now and i hope someday kalvin takes responsibility for the harm he's done
I remember seeing his video when I was 12-13 years old and I'm ashamed to say that I thought "Hm ah yes, youtuber say dis, youtuber must be right if youtuber say dis". So I apologize for believing him. You shouldn't have gone through all this, you are valid!
Thank you so much for speaking out. Also also?? Can i compliment on how just how- friendly you look? Your way of speaking and ur personality its very relaxing for me
there are a lot of things that I can say in response to the stuff that you said in this video, but the biggest thing I'm walking away with is that it truly is a shame that you felt pushed off of this platform because you're very well spoken and you probably could have had a really big impact on this platform. Please keep doing what you're doing!
@User I genuinely don't understand this. How does a trans person saying: "I enjoy being myself" impact their dysphoria? If Sylvia Rivera said "I like myself" would you have claimed she wasn't trans?
The maturity. The confidence. You didn't make fun of him. You didn't take out rage on him. And you ABSOLUTELY could have and it would have been justified. You did exactly what you said you wanted to do. Take your voice back. You spoke incredibly well with authority and clarity and did I mention confidence?! My God. I'm amazed and incredibly impressed. I hope this army grows more. Because you absolutely deserve all the things. I look forward to learning from you.
hey Brennen, you probably don’t remember me but unfortunately you definitely would remember the hurtful thing i commented from my old account years ago. ): i came here to apologize, and to own up to my actions. i am appalled at how the trans community has turned against ourselves, i could say i was blinded by Kalvin’s rhetoric of “fake trans” and “trenders”, but it wouldn’t be a genuine apology if i just used that to excuse my actions. Kalvin may have had/still has a great impact of how trans (men especially) act and think about gender, but ultimately i made that decision to type out something that was intentionally harmful, and post it. I feel so guilty, for giving in to Kalvin’s toxicity, for consciously saying something to you that was hurtful and wrong, and i absolutely regret it. you are 100% valid, your identity and emotions are real, and nobody should be able to take that away from you. thankfully i have grown, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that i added to your pain in the past. i am genuinely, sincerely sorry. you did not/still do not deserve any of the hate that has come your way, you are a ray of sunshine in the dark clouds, and i wish you the best on your transitions.
Me too...Your not the only one. Although I didn't comment anything to Brennen or anyone else's channel, I am still guilty for EVER enjoying his content. Hey, Brennen, I'm also really sorry. You are real regardless of whatever I or anyone else thinks. I'm glad you stayed strong.
@@VillagerCometh Me, too. I feel bad that I ever watched any of his content. I don’t think I really understood what he was saying back then, but I do now. Even with his influence, though, I had no excuse thinking that way. I promise I don’t think that way anymore and I am sorry to everyone in the non-binary, genderqueer, and genderfluid communities, as well as people in other communities that K****n dislikes. Stay strong!
As a cis woman who watched him for a short while and agreed with what he said, I’m so sorry. I even remember watching the video he made on you. I have never struggled with dysphoria, and had no right to assume things of trans or non-binary people. I am sorry.
Same and I'm trans. He managed to manipulate a bunch of people, some to hate on a community they weren't a part of and some to hate on themselves. I never went out of my way to harass anyone but I still feel bad for adapting his mindset and looking down on fellow trans people
I'm also cis. I can't believe I followed someone who was just as uneducated as I was. Learn from the people themselves, not someone who feels they have to invalidate others for a point that they know isn't right.
Thats my same experience, I regret it so much, I just hated things I didn't understand without realizing i was talking about real people made of flesh and feelings, that just want to be happy with themselves, and that my words and opinionshad consequenceson their lives. I was such a transphobic trash can, I'm sorry about it and I know I cant go back, so I just support them anx representation with my drawing, learning everything day about trans experiences and listening
another cis girl here, I watched a ton of his content for a while a couple years ago. I just remembered he existed and checked out a recent video and jesus CHRIST this guy is cruel and insecure.
I feel so horrendous for agreeing with their shit before. I understand now that I was a huge that back then and am striving to be more accepting because this is YOUR life, not mine. I'm proud of you for coming so far.
hh same ngl like i was tryna be hella extremely masc and that’s just never who i was even tryna pass being that masc is not me and he was saying that i had to do it or i’m a girl so i had to but then i realized i like yellow and my hairs kinda long there’s no valid reason i shouldn’t wear a hairbow and some shirts with poofy sleeves
I am cis (part of the LGBT+ community) and used to watch his videos to educate myself of trans matters. I remember that video and to some extend I had internalized his views. Luckily there are many other trans people who have shared and keep sharing their stories and experiences. He is a prime example that being LGBT+ does not equal being open minded. Everyone's story is different everyone is valid. Nor he, nor I nor anyone is to judge.
To add on this, in his video(and in many others) he was simply bullying. That is unacceptable. Thank you for speaking out , you are a very strong person ❤️
as a black trans male, i really didn't like the way he branded trans men and ultimately makes us look like all trans men are like this and its so harmful. no matter how you express your gender, it doesn't mean that people have a right to try and regulate and box your identity. it's not fair and it isn't right. ill be honest i watched his content when i was 14 coming to terms with being trans, and it was so HARMFUL for my development as a trans person and navigating how i was supposed to present myself in order to pass. im glad i don't see things that way anymore and i hope enby folks understand that trans men don't all operate this way but im ashamed of trans men who don't support ALL trans people.
Couldn't have said it better myself. Kalvin's content harms both his viewers and the people they go after and as a community we have to work to support all trans people indeed.
the thing about kalvin's rhetoric is that it literally doesn't care about whether or not you're dysphoric, it's about picking on people who don't fit their idea of manhood. it's exactly the same as cis men making fun of each other for crying or wearing certain clothes. it's about punching down in order to lift themselves up. i'm what, hypothetically, transmeds would see as a 'perfect transexual' (eg., i've been out living as a man for a decade, intend to fully medically transition to the best of my ability, have severe dysphoria, etc) but because i dye my hair, like makeup, and am a bit of prissy queen, they still target me. it just proves that they don't give a shit about what they say they do, they're literally only doing this to boost their own confidence and have a power trip from going from the bullied to the bully.
Yeah, right?? Honestly anyone who tries to defend him, I'm just like..but he bullied people, very young people?? And inadvertently sent his fans to do so too? At that point, your intentions mean absolutely jack. (which I don't even believe what he says as to why he does this. Honestly I don't buy tha oh, he was Just Concerned About the Poor little Trenders cause...just no. If you're concerned you don't treat people like that). The bare minimum at that point is to apologize, publically and without concern trolling bs or excuses tacked on, but has he ever done that or admitted he's *hurt people*? If he has I haven't seen it. At least most people who make "cringe content" don't usually take things this far or at least don't act like they're being *HELPFUL* and trying to protect Real Trans People in the process. Come on, dude, that's clearly horseshit, if you're going to be a dick at least be an honest one.
As a former transmedicalist, I would have denied it comes down to self-validation some time ago. But you're totally right. I was extremely frustrated due to my transphobic environment and I needed an outlet, something to make me feel validated and to distract myself. Transmedicalism, by itself, is useless and easily becomes harmful. There are much better ways to prevent transition regret, for instance. So for a lot of people, it's just an excuse to feel superior, special and validated.
i feel so horrible for blindly following his beliefs for so long. he gave me so much internalized transphobia that i didn’t realize i’m non-binary until this year.
I also used to watch his videos while I was questioning my gender identity. I still identify as a (cis) woman despite my pronouns being she/they/he because personally I really don't care how you refer to me as (but of course I understand why other people might care about their pronouns). But I remember watching a video where he said that non-binary people don't exist and I was just like, oh, okay then. I eventually stopped watching his videos because I felt like my brain was becoming numb from all the hate.
the exact same for me, i was so toxic and internally transphobic that i didn't even let myself think about my identity for long enough to realise im non binary
Kalvin Garrah made me miserable as a trans person. He made me see the worst in me and my friends. He made me hate being transgender so much. Thank you so much for this. Thank you for speaking up and sharing your story. I'm so glad you are back. I'm so sorry for the hurt he caused you. It makes me so furious. Best wishes for you and your future. I wish you so much joy.
something I’ll never forgive myself for was when an old online friend I reconnected with in a gc came out to us and non binary and I told them I “don’t agree with you, but I’ll respect you.” mind you I was in 6th grade, but what the fuck was that? all the kalvin and blaire I watched went straight to my head, I can’t believe I invalidated a friend who had the confidence to come out to our friend group. I hope they’re doing great right now because they were smarter than I ever was.
The way he portrayed “facts” and “evidence” against you in that original video just made no sense as time progressed. As a cis woman who used to watch him, I’m sorry I ever supported or watched such a garbage person like him. Kalvin used to actually call out true people in the LGBTQ+ group that were extremely damaging to the community, but then it became like weird nit picking or just empty words to attack random creators. I’m so glad you’re using your voice and your platform to call him out. 💕
Same, as someone questioning, I’m sorry that I ever gave him any support. And I am happy that you’re doing this. Lastly I hope you come back online because you seem like a cool voice to add to the community.
The same happened to me, but with Blaire White. She made me look into trans youtubers and sparked my interest in trans people and what they go through, their struggles, transphobia, etc. Now I'm an ally, but I can't believe I liked her and Kalvin (him just occasionally).
I agree. At the time I used to watch his videos I used to take what he said and use it as all the reasons I was not trans, because I wasn't what he said I should be. Looking back, it just doesn't make sense.
I am a cis girl and 100% agree that Kalvin makes content for cis people. I totally thought I was responsibly consuming content from 'real' trans people in watching Kalvin and Blaire. It was easy to consume because they challenge nothing about our concepts of traditional gender, and easy to digest because it's spent banding together to humiliate the 'others'... I'm now disgusted to face the straight up hate and transphobia I used to nod along with. Nobody is made better by Kalvin's content, constantly on the offense toward the communities he claims to represent. I'm heartbroken to know how that kind of behavior hurts non-binary people, it's a mistake I won't make again!
despite literally getting top surgery at 14 years old and being on testosterone for like 3 years, kalvin ALWAYS found some way to make me doubt my identity as a man and as a transgender person in general. he made me think that i had to experience dysphoria just like him and constantly made me think there were such things as “girl” or “boy” things. he made me stop liking things i enjoy, things as small as the color pink, or doing my hair a certain way, etc. all he does is project his dysphoria on others to validate himself. i feel genuinely sorry for the hatred nonbinary people have faced because of him. despite being a trans person himself, he cannot understand that gender is something complex that cannot always be reduced to simply identifying as a girl or boy.
I'm a cis girl but I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I hope you can be your authentic self now or... Whenever you feel comfortable. Being feminine or liking "girls things" doesn't make you automatically not a man and I'm happy that at least now you already know this
As a trans guy and a former Kalvin Garrah stan I have to say on the off chance you actually read this I am so sorry I was ever a part of that. I’ve reevaluated my views over the past year or so and realised how bad Kalvins actions really are, I hope you’re in a better place mentally now and know that you’re not an impostor just because you’re not him.
D’Angelo really needs to cover Calvin , like a pt. 2 of Blair or smth edit: JUNE 2021 GO AND WATCH COPSHATEMOE’S NEW VIDEO ON THE TOPIC RIGHT NOW PLEASE!
Yaay you responded! You’re so brave Brennen!! I am so glad people are starting to notice this and break their silence, after all you’ve been though (and many others as well). I watched the video you privated and i really liked it and agree with it. It really seems evil and mean that someone would bully and pick apart the identity of such a free spirit. All these bullying and toxic behavior in the trans community must stop!
@@ami5marion forgive me if I’m misinformed, but I thought Kalvin was sort of reforming himself a little these days? It’s still awful what he’s done in the past, but from what I hear he’s on track for a sort-of redemption arc
@@patrickchoque7720 I’m not really a fan so I may be wrong. But even though he’s “reformed” a few days ago he was still talking shit abt Brennen’s video, and saying he would share “his side of the story” (like.. just apologize, dude and move on, it’s not that difficult). I think if he did apologize and stop spreading hate, people would forgive him, he’s very young, if he shows that he’s changed, the community will accept him.
Kalvin Garrahs mindset doesn't let anyone experiment with their identity or gender expression out of fear that they could get called a 'trender'. I have a nb friend who would constantly get called a trender on instagram and i remember them literally being scared that kalvin would make a video on them even though they didn't do anything wrong. He makes it so people live in fear and feel like they can't experiment. I thought i'd been a 'trender' and looking back i realise that I was just experimenting with myself and trying to come to terms with lots of other things. Even now, years later, while I don't currently identify as nb or as a trans guy, I still wear a binder on occasions, I wear mens clothes, I dress androgynously, and its more about expressing myself then a label for me. Kalvin made me feel like i couldnt do that which is so messed up and made me analyse everything about myself thinking I had to fit into a box. Also, with Kalvin he told someone who is chronically ill that they were faking just because they could stand but used a wheelchair. That always majorly bothered me. Most wheelchair uses can stand and walk!!!! But he dragged them through the mud and said they were faking which is so wrong.
hey I'm sorry that he made you feel that way! and I'm glad you are able to express yourself now. I personally don't believe clothing has gender, so to me you are just expressing yourself in general. dress how you please! and I didn't know he said someone was taking an illness, wth!
omg i feel the same, like I'm not allowed in the community because I don't have a concretely defined identity but I do not see or think of myself as binary. Its really hard bc i feel like there is so much gatekeeping. It makes me constantly question myself when I literally should just feel okay doing whatever the fuck I want with my gender.
I was trans and had a very confusing idea of gender and watching his videos after I transitioned back to female ( I didn’t do much transitioning to begin with ) made me feel like a trender but I wasn’t, the feelings I had were valid and I was lucky enough to get proper gender therapy and figure myself out before I went to change my body permanently. I had REALLY bad dysphoria and still do, but it’s different. I’m so glad I figured myself out but legit watching his shit made me scared to tell my story and how I came to terms with my gender and sexuality. Like obviously there’s people who do it for attention but to invalidate people just because their experience doesn’t fit yours is soooo fucked up
@@hunterjardine7148 but you choose for that to happen, everything he says is his opinion not law.... he is not even a actual person in your life so how are you made at him because YOU hung off of his words. Your self esteem is YOUR alone and no ones else
finally got freed from this "be one of the good ones" mentality about 2 years ago and my life is so much better and i discovered i actually enjoy using all pronouns and might be nonbinary! yay
I’m not going to lie, I was a Kalvin supporter. And honestly I’m ashamed of it, although I never openly attacked other trans people I still supported people who did. I’m so so sorry for the harm I caused by supporting him, I myself used his content to push myself into the closet. I used it to disprove my identity, just like so many others did. His content is toxic, it hurts people. I’m proud of you, I’m glad you’re able to finally talk about it.
Same, I used to think I was a trans guy bc I didn’t know what nonbinary was and I felt like if I didn’t conform to his standards than I wouldn’t be trans. I’m glad that I can now see how toxic he is and not watch any of his videos anymore.
Yeah me too. After I stopped watching his content and stopped putting restrictions on myself because I realized cis people’s opinions on me as a trans person don’t matter. Nobodies does.
i feel ashamed i agreed with his video back when it was posted. i was younger then and actually didn’t have much knowledge of the trans & nb community yet... so, i took the information he gave and thought that he was right. but i was terribly wrong for being okay with the video he posted. now that i realise just how wrong his words were, i feel terrible. i hope i can be forgiven for believing what he had to say. 😓💔
He’s friends with Blaire White, who is the queen of “trans people are only valid when they’re exactly like me”, so I’m not surprised that he’s just as bad. 🙃 I apologize as an ex-fan of his. You never should have gone through all that you did- no one should ever go through that.
I'd consider him slightly better in terms of the community since he hasn't made exclusively dogshit videos on trans people & he has made videos like packer recommendations, binder advice, etc. but he's still awful overall
I’m a cis female, but I found Calvin before I met any other trans person so I assumed he was right and the others were wrong. I was so unintentionally transphobic while stupidly thinking I was an ally.
Same here he was the first source I had of a trans person and just thought what he said was law. But now looking back the things he would say was disgusting
i did too. i was still DEEPLY closeted though, so him being my introduction to the community was.. not great. the way i thought was SO harmful, and i’m so glad i don’t think that way anymore. i’m glad we both learned and bettered ourselves!!
I also feel this as a FTM who was a "late bloomer." I'm pretty masculine, but I spent so much of my teen years convinced I was a trender because I hadn't come out "early" enough and still felt a connection to my lesbian identity. I remember watching the video he made about you and crying because I recognized that you were more like me than I was him, and I wasn't old enough to know what to do with that feeling. All of my friends now are non-binary and genderqueer, not just because they're incredible people who have really opened my mind to gender, but also because I find to this day that online binary trans men communities can't seem to shake this "I'm better than you because I did X/didn't do Y" mentality, and I blame Kalvin for enabling it. It feels terrible to be cut off from people like you. I remember the time I was in a queer space and the one time another masculine trans man came he looked at me like I was a freak. This stuff hurts our community to this day. It was wonderful to hear from you again, I hope everything in your life goes well, you deserve so much love!
Hi Brennen, while I don’t fully understand non-binary identities, I do realize that just because I may not understand them doesn’t mean they aren’t real. Also I would never bully someone for having a certain gender identity or expression simply because I may not understand it. What Kalvin and his fans did to you was disgusting and it just shows how little self awareness and care for others they have. If Kalvin was truly sorry for bullying you, he would’ve apologized to you.
@@leavemealoneha8042 I am not the original commenter, but I, too, don't fully understand nonbinary identities. Other than this lovely UA-camr, do you know anyone else I could watch for information about it? I want to understand and be the best ally possible!!
@@leavemealoneha8042 A couple non-binary people I’ve met have told me they’re non-binary because they’re not fully masculine of fully feminine. While I would never invalidate their gender identities, I don’t believe masculinity or femininity determines your gender. I’m not fully masculine or fully feminine (although I think I lean towards feminine) and I’m still a woman. Butch women also exist and they’re just as much of women as more stereotypically feminine women. I don’t understand how you’re gender identity can consist of more than one gender or change on certain days (in the case of genderfluid people). A lot of non-binary people believe that gender is a social construct and I disagree with this. Gender roles, certain ideas about gender, and gender expression are socially constructed. I believe gender is psychological. I know there are studies that show that binary trans men and women have brains that are similar to the opposite sex than that of their own and some sort of malfunction of hormones in the womb can contribute to people being trans I think. Idk. It would be very interesting to see more research on this especially more research on the brains of non-binary trans people. I am a cis woman. And I’ve wondered if I could possibly be trans (binary or non binary). After like 30 seconds of thinking about it, I realized I’m happy being a woman. I’m happy with my physical female characteristics, being seen as a woman, going by she/her pronouns, and identifying as a woman. If I identified as nonbinary, it would feel wrong. If I identified as a trans guy, took hormones, and got surgeries, that would feel wrong. The thought of my face looking like a man, having a male voice, male chest, and a penis makes me shudder because it just feels so wrong. I would get gender dysphoria if I medically transitioned. None of this is because society tells me I’m a woman. I don’t always conform to what society tells me to be. It’s because psychologically my gender is a woman. Like if gender is a social construct, wouldn’t gender dysphoria not exist?
Hey Olivia! While the comments section probably isn't the best forum for this kind of discussion, I think I can add at least one thing directly to respond to this. Trans people often have to reduce their identities to garner basic respect from cis people, it's good to ask deeper questions but consider that nb peoples self conception of gender might be deeper than they initially reveal to you. Much like cis people, trans people can also have less comprehensive ways of expressing gender. Part 2 in the video series will have a bit more gender theory in there so I hope some of your questions can also be answered when that drops. But I think we agree that masculinity and femininity do not determine your gender. - Moderator
@@brennenbeckwith Yeah, trans people shouldn’t have to identify as a gender they don’t want to identify as just so certain cis people will respect them. Here’s my message to these certain cis people as a cis person myself: If you don’t understand a trans person’s gender identity, I get that. Hell, when I was 15 and saw Caitlin Jenner transitioning, I was super confused because I wasn’t educated at all on trans people (but unlike a lot of cis people, I was willing to listen to others educate me and I would never go out and bully someone because of their gender identity). If you’re confused about someone’s gender identity, do some research on it. Look at forums for people with this identity. Acknowledge you’re not educated about everything there is to gender. If you still don’t understand it, ok then. Just be respectful of their gender identity. Don’t misgender them. Realize they’re not harming anyone by identifying a certain way. Seriously, someone tell these so called truscums and trans meds that non-binary people and gender nonconforming binary trans people aren’t hurting trans people. Trans people shitting on these people and cis people being assholes instead of being respectful and at the very least trying to understand these people are what’s harming the trans community. Edit: Yeah, I understand now that how non binary people’s gender identities may be deeper than what they tell me. After all, I’m not in their head so I don’t truly know how they feel and what their experience with gender is like.
as a cis person, i used to eat up those “trans trender” videos when i was 14. i knew 1 trans person IRL who was kalvins version of the “correct” trans person. i think dangelo wallace phrased it better in his blair white video, but i came to realize he capitalized on a lot of cis bias, where a lot of cis people get uncomfortable with people who “aren’t like us” or who’s identities we could never understand fully. he used those ideas and made himself out to be this person who called out these “fake” trans people and for a while i thought he was right, since he used facts and was trans himself. then i met a lot of my internet friends, who kalvin would probably hate every aspect of- they use unconventional pronouns, they’re non-binary or have identified as non-binary at some point, and i could go on. i realized i had no say in what people identified as, and that the people kalvin made fun of were human too. i may never fully understand what they go though, but there’s no reason to hate and bully them.
Yeah. He takes advantage of the lack of knowledge that cis people have, and makes it easy for them. He puts trans people in a box, and makes it easy to understand. So from that point onward, anyone who experiences their gender in a way that isn’t easy to understand is immediately booted. I gradually stopped watching him and it was just so much more free of an experience. I stopped caring about what random cis people thought of me. Stopped caring if someone thought I was a trender, because I didnt care enough about anything they had to say. There is nothing wrong with wanting to pass as cis. But if you’re really going to believe and spread the narrative that being trans is okay, you also need to realize that not needing to pass as cis all the time is also okay. Because we aren’t cis. We are trans, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Me too. I’m sorry to all the non-binary people here. I was introduced to Kalvin Garrah by a binary trans friend and I thought I was being and ally. We both learned to de-idolize him and recognize him as a trans man projecting his internalized transphobia.
I didn’t know that being transgender existed until I was a senior in high school and I had no idea that being non binary was even a thing. I remember being obsessed with learning about people who identified as trans and came across Kalvin Garrah’s video about you. I was afraid of identifying as being on the non binary spectrum because I felt that I didn’t belong, that I would some how be contributing to the harm against people who were trans. I still have trouble fully identifying as non binary because I’m afraid that how I feel about myself isn’t valid, but it’s slowly getting better. Finally starting to come out to my friends and I get giddy when I hear friends call me “they” in conversation. I’m so glad you are doing well. Thank you for making this video.
So, I've literally never interacted with Kalvin Garrah's content, nor have I ever really been involved in the youtube trans community. But I've been running a non-binary support network for years now, and good LORD this guy's ideology is so prevalent, especially in the younger kids. So many young trans kids would come and ask the weirdest questions, if they're allowed to wear pink while being non-binary, can they be a transmasculine person while having long hair, asking if FEELING LIKE THEY'RE NONBINARY AND A LESBIAN makes them a trender, shit like that. Its terrifying! The harassment the group has been sent over the years by transmeds who align themselves with him has been WORSE than the cis transphobes, because they intentionally push to trigger dysphoria and place themselves as 'real trans people', using people's insecurities to make them question if the people harassing them are right. He's been a toxic influence on the whole of the newest generation of trans people and I'm relived to finally see some large scale pushback against this shit.
It’s awful. As someone who is an AFAB femby who uses she/they I often don’t feel trans enough because of how many people have told me you have to be one way to be trans.
@@Eosinophyllis Oh shit!! I've never heard of she/they femboy before! That's actually SUPER cool!!! I'm a he/they femboy (in spirit, clothes are expensive, rip), and if it helps at all, I think you're not only valid, but cool and unique asf :D
I’m so sorry that I used to think/act like him. I hated non-binary people, genderfluid people, gnc trans people, and I hated myself. I’m much much happier now that I don’t support people like him anymore. Maybe if I never found him I would have realized I’m non-binary much sooner. I hope everyone is able to forgive me.
QuinnCloud THIS. I used to love his content as a pre-t insecure trans person. He convinced me that being both nonbinary and male was unnecessary and I completely repressed the nonbinary component to my gender. I started hating myself and criticizing and judging trans people who had done nothing but... live their own lives differently than mine. As I started transitioning medically, grew up, and got more and more confident, I found that my views went in the other direction. I started basically believing the exact opposite of everything he said and it’s been so much happier for me and my interactions with other trans people.
As a genderfluid person, on behalf of my community. We forgive you, you've realized your mistake and the faults in such harmful views. I hope you have a wonderful day :)
My dad always says “forgiving doesn’t mean reconciliation” look, if he changed it that’s good I never wish more crappy people spreading shadows but it doesn’t matter. There are consequences to your actions and really being sorry is taking those consequences tbh if he was sorry he’d address you like a human being...and this is my opinion he’d honestly just get another job 🤷♀️
I hated nonbinary people for a long time, thought they were "transtrenders", like my family said. I watched Kalvin's videos for a long time and agreed with them, and now I'm out and proud as a nonbinary person. I still have moments of doubts about who I am because of the ideas sprouted by these people in the trans community, but I know logically my dysphoria and gender identity are valid. Thank you for making this video, for all of us.
Honestly, I'm going through pretty much this exact same issue myself. Due to little knowledge on the subject, constantly doubting myself and people like Kalvin Garrah that I used to follow, made me question my own identity and look down on others for not fitting a specific mould. It's dumb because the world isn't as black and white as GIRL and BOY. I realize this now and I'm really upset that I was forcing those kinds of specifics on myself and other people when it's not like that... It makes me feel better seeing a lot of people are coming out and having such similar stories as me, but I'm still super nervous to admit that I think I'm nonbinary... I'm just afraid of being attacked or being wrong or questioning myself.. idk iahsdfijahdf i don't really know how to go about testing it out to see how I feel idk lmao aaa
Same. I still don't really know if I'm non-binary even though I'm sure I am. With definitions and people experiences I relate a lot. But I'm in this period of time where I'm denying or I just don't give a fuck. It's been a week ago when I stabbed into a video of copshatemoe and they ware talking about non-binary and stuff. And I related so much. All what they said was basically me. And than I also watched a video about asexuality and other things. And finds out I'm asexual. It all came in the same time. I'm kinda confused. Even though I know I am. I'm glad that after all this time when I was calling myself a weird cis girl. Now I know who I am truly and I found people who shares the same experiences as mine.
@@pumpkibeezpt My online friends helped me a lot, a lot of them were already nonbinary. I just asked they use they/them for me to see how I liked it, how it felt, and they were super good about it and it just felt right. I knew I didn't want to be a man from a young age, and eventually I overcame trying to force myself to be a woman. If you find close friends, especially other nonbinaries, and tell them what you feel, they'll be supportive.
i’m a cis girl as well as a lesbian, blaire white and kalvin garrah were huge influences. i cannot apologize enough to all of my trans siblings for being so awful and spreading their narrative and borderline attacking gnc folk and covering it up as a “playful debate.” there’s no excuse for how i acted and the amount of other cis people who’ve shared the same experience as me is... so concerning
The kind of people like this, who can openly apologise for past actions that hurt other people, honestly give me so much hope. i can only speak on my own behalf but i thank you :)
Girl same, not only was I midly transphobic and refused to listen to any one lesson because I watched those two so I clearly wasn't transphobic 😂. But also midly racist, because I of course feel down a rabbit hole after the last election. Definitely not proud of it, lots of deprograming has taken place for me in the last 1-2 years.
me too. i am a lesbian who fell into the blaire white and kalvin garrah and ben shaprio whirlwind for about a year. i am so embarrassed by that but i’ve grown so much in my beliefs since being 16, but i do feel bad that i might have contributed to all that bullshit.
I was infected by this mans rhetoric at the ripe age of 11 and closeted myself for so long because he convinced me that I was faking my entire experience as a trans person for attention. He was this “real” trans guy and I was just some stupid little girl who wanted to be “quirky” and “different”, I’ve been so miserable and in this huge war with myself and it’s really nice to be able to see people who have had similar experiences to me finally talk about it. I’m finally able to get him out of my head and stop gaslighting myself over and over again, I can finally say with confidence that I’m the only person who knows about my identity and I’m the only person who gets to decide who I am. Thank you for making this video Brennan
I felt that same way when I saw that video when I was 13, it's really nice to see in words that I'm not the only person who felt/feels that way and it doesn't make me any less valid, so thanks :)
I felt that I started watching him when I was 12 and it really affected my view on trans people it’s really dangerous to watch his content as cis person because I thought that there was only one way to be trans
The way he and Blaire act towards trans people that are different from them is just so annoying. Like I used to watch him and blaire, but the way they acted so aggressive and rude towards people not like them made me feel very sus, and I kinda stopped watching cause i didn’t agree and didn’t like the way they bullied people
@@trip7454 yeah same here. like, not all trans people feel the need to absolute slobber all over the boots of cis people. we don’t all worship them and want to be just like them. there’s nothing wrong with being trans.
Kalvin's content hurt me a lot. A lot of hatred, internalized and against others. I wore a skirt for Halloween this year (i'm transmasc) and it was one of the most amazing feelings to actually feel comfortable expressing myself in a feminine way at all. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that Brennen, Jesus Christ i cant imagine how that would've impacted someone. I hope your'e doing better now.
i’m so happy u could express urself like that!! skirts are fun to wear :> i made one for a cosplay a few years back and it takes some confidence to wear lol
I'm glad you were able to rock that skirt and feel good about yourself. I'm sure you looked great. Your gender is really valid dude, and it's not defined by anything other than what you know it is.
imagine thinking a small creator who isnt exactly like you talking about their own experience is speaking over YOU, a conventional binary trans creator with a huge following
Right?? The irony of him claiming "trenders" are snowflakes who want attention and Can't Handle the Truth, but (1) young nonbinary person with a much smaller following existing and speaking on the same internet as him is going to destroy him and every other Real Trans Person TM...is amazing.
to be fair i bet he only gained that large following by allowing transphobes to hate on the ''wrong kind'' of queer people. bigots LOVE someone palatable from a marginalized group criticizing that same group.
He pushed so many enbies to spiral. I was here when he completely tried to dox gothfruits to the point where rin (gothfruits) became suicidal. Kalvin needs to be educated and held accountable.
I would have realized i was agender like a year ago if i wasn't watching his content and leaving snarky comments on neoronoun posts and non trans medicalist trans people posts
i tried to be a “good ally” for so long before realizing i was learning about my ow community. and unfortunately, i watched kalvin and blaire. so now i have to reteach myself, and i even have to reteach my mom because i was sharing their bullshit with her.
@@rf0656 no problem! i basically just use xym(pronounced zim) as a replacement for him or her, xe(zee) as a replacement for he/she, and xyr(zare)as a replacement for his/hers
As a binary, dysphoric trans guy, I just want to say that Kalvin doesn’t represent all of us. There are trans men who don’t hate enbies, who see them as truly and as trans as we are, regardless of their dysphoria (or lack-thereof), if they have plans to medically transition, or the stage of their transition. Id also like to say that while Blaire White is a big figure of transmedicalism, I see this issue happening a lot more with trans men and transmasculine nonbinary people, which I think shows a greater disdain for any perceived feminity in men or people who “should” be men.
YEAH I see it too. I’m not sure if it’s toxic masculinity but in trans men form or just internalized transphobia.
Either way, it baffles me how people think that everyone experiences their identities and dysphoria the same universally.
@@arcijrluvzu6407 Speaking as a transman who was, regretfully, transmed for a brief time:
For me, it was a mixture of toxic masculinity, my own insecurities and a medical system that made me fight hard to prove I was trans in order to get treatment.
These things together really drove me into a toxic mindset... I'm not saying these things as an excuse, I'm just trying to provide a personal insight.
I never thought that enbies weren't valid or anything (y'all are valid and I love ya), but I did used to think that in order to be trans you had to experience some level of dysphoria and have a desire to medically transition in some way.
If I saw someone not conforming with those things, I would think they were a transtrender and doing it for attention.
Reality is, if I saw some teen calling themselves a transman, wearing clothes that didn't make them look 'masculine enough' or using make-up, saying that you don't need dysphoria... it made me feel annoyed.
There I was, in my 20s, in my dysphoria hoodie, having to wait another 4 months to be able to start T, after having already been questioned relentlessly by a doctor for months about whether I was masc enough to be considered trans---
meanwhile this teen is waving the trans flag proudly... I struggled to see us as even remotely similar.
So I'd just think they weren't actually trans.
I was upset at my own situation and blamed these types of trans people on my struggle to be accepted.
I never actually harassed or messaged anyone (I'd never stoop that low), I'm talking about just internally b*tching to myself about people.
The worst I did was try to convince conservative types that "we're not all that bad, most of us are normal!"... which of course only ever served to convince them that _I_ was 'normal'. That made me feel awful.
After a few attempts at trying to convince people, I realised the end result was the same.
It was just me throwing others under the bus for no good reason at that point.
That whole thing made me stop and reflect on what I had been doing, the beliefs I had...
Then, thankfully, earlier this year I found my queen ContraPoints! Her Transtrender video was the hard slap in the face I needed to snap out of it completely.
I've been on T for almost a year now, no longer a depressed mess, happier and more comfy in my body... and deeply regretful of all the things I thought and said about my fellow trans people.
Like, I can't believe that I ever believed that transmedicalist garbage! I was bloody awful!
I hope more people come to their senses about this stuff. Transmedicalism isn't helping our situation.
(...I wrote a lot and I'm not even sure if all that made sense, my bad!)
this is very important to be allies, im a binary trans man (kinda) and i want any nonbinary person who reads this to know, people like kalvin garrah are a very small minority, and alot of us are here for you, to be allies and to fight for ALL trans and nonbinary rights, at least i am
Thank you. You got the nail on the head. the fact that I used to be exactly like him, disgusts me. the way I acted and how I used it as a way to say "oh well, im not like them so my dysphoria is valid and im real" and thats just so gross. it made me dysphoric with anything slightly feminine and like I must like women, because that's masculine, right? I've been set back so much by his videos and I've hurt so many other trans people. I've tried to apologize to many of them, but many have blocked me or didn't accept my apologies, which is 100% valid.
I remember in the past as a teen I used to be toxic and transmed since I myself wasn’t on T yet and had internalized hatred for myself, honestly ashamed I used to like Kalvin
"Kalvin Garrah has no authority..." was my favourite line. Because he wants SO much to believe he is the king of trans people and can dictate what all of us feel like and how we present.
SO true! He is one voice and no one in any community speaks for the entire community OR even speaks the truth...
Exactly! Like, who died and made you boss, Kalvin? How exactly was Brennan's existence online "speaking over" him? Does every trans and nb person have to get a permission slip from the Goodest Most Real and Valid Transgender council of elders (two of which are ofc him and Blaire White) before opening their mouths?
@@gamerguy5591 bwahahahaha
Kalvin is the opposite of authority. He's an insecure pathetic little man who is full of hate, negativity, and insecurity.
We all know that Jammidodger is the true king of trans people and he is the human equivalent of a golden labrador not hateful like Kalvin
Kalvin taught me that trans women MUST express their gender in a feminine way, trans men MUST express their gender in a masculine way, and non binary people MUST express their gender in an androgynous way. Regardless of whether his beliefs on that have changed or not, I’m disappointed that he influenced my mindset in that way for such a long time.
person above is wrong, he is still like that but selectively like "see trans guys can be feminine i wear nail polish" but how dare u wear makeup or a dress
Its so wierd to me that people think trans women cant be masculine and trans men cant be feminine, because cis women can be masculine and cis males can be feminine.
@@mr.foster2879 I understand that your point is that the original poster shouldn't blame Garrah for their own formerly restrictive views on gender presentation and expression (though you can teach someone an idea without explicitly saying the idea), but please don't use "feeble-minded" as a synonym for "weak-willed". It's an offensive term for intellectually disabled people.
Yeah I will never understand how people think that way. A cis woman can be as masculine as she wants and no one is going to accuse her of not being a woman. (Well that isn't exactly true, but the vast majority of people won't). A cis woman can be hyper feminine, androgynous, or super masculine, but as long as you know she has a vagina, then of course she is a woman.
But the second a trans woman is not wearing a face full of makeup, or she doesn't shave, or is wearing a more masculine outfit, then she is faking it. And god forbid she doesn't "pass".
Why are trans people held to such different standards than cis people?
@Prince Billy did you even watch the video?
kalvin managed to give an entire generation internalized transphobia purely for his own validation and I physically despise him for it
that is so true, damn. I was a supporter and he honestly made my dysphoria and self hatred so much fucking worse
the reaching being done here is immense.
@@chickinbrasket7837 he literally gave me internalised transphobia lol. when I started watching him, I was an impressionable 13 year old just starting my transition. He made me feel like i couldn't be feminine or I wasn't trans. He invalidated EVERYONE who did not have his type of dysphoria and EVERYONE who didn't dress masculine. like, I really would make fun of people for wearing skirts because he said it was wrong and I believed him. I know at least 200 people who were like me, (from a discord server I was in which basically worshipped the man) so, no, it's not a reach.
@@leouwu5079 plus he made the online trans community INCREDIBLY unsafe for a lot of trans ppl. i remember almost crying when i was like 14 bc i was scared my friend who supported kalvin would hate me/not think i was rlly trans if i was slightly feminine (i'm genderfluid)
@@sarinabina5487 man I feel this
I had friends who liked Kalvin and I was scared to show my nb side (I'm bigender, a nonbinary guy) because I thought they'd think I wasn't trans enough. I was scared to be femme, even though I express rather femininely and love makeup. The only good point he gave me was that dysphoria is needed to be trans; but even then, it comes in many different forms and not experiencing it the same as him does not make one invalid.
That opening tiktok video is a real life “who here has personally been victimized by Regina George?”
omg TRUTH
Everyone: ~raises hand~
Every non-binary person: 🤚
WAIT IS THAT A PLACE TO CALL HOME REFERENCE?
Autumn it’s a mean girls reference
"Speaking over transmascs." I'm so confused. You physically cannot have transmascs if you don't have transfemmes and andros. Why does Kalvin think that only transmasc voices matter? And of course, if transmascs don't have to same opinion as him they're "trying to speak over him." Jesus Christ, does he not think before he speaks? Or think, ever?
And then people still think I'm fucking insane for thinking that trans men can be misogynists. 🙂 He has such a powerful hatred for women and femmes, and he is the most popular trans guy on the internet, but apparently IM the asshole for saying the transmasc community is sexist. Men anger me. 🙂🙂🙂🙂
Both me and my sibling are nonbinary femmes so I have reppresed rage, sorry ☺
He only cares about his own opinion and is actively appropriating activist language in order to make it sound like he’s the victim it sucks so hard.
~✨ toxic masculinity isn’t just for cis men ✨~
Also how is an account averaging 50-500 views “speaking over” him
Just in case you haven’t heard it enough today:
you are trans enough, and you will always be trans enough.
I'm so embarrassed that I used to be one of his fans. I forgot how horribly inaccurate and downright cruel his videos are until you showed those clips.
Yeah, same. I used to be truscum transmed and all that good stuff. All that matters now is that you're educated and kind.
I used to be a fan too, lemme just check to see if I’m subbed...
i used to be a fan of his too, i’m glad i didn’t become one of his toxic fans tho
this same like how did i have the nerve to preach trans rights but be subbed to him and blaire white...
For a while, I bought what he was saying(or at least considered it) purely because of the way he presented himself. He's not good at arguing at all but, he's really charismatic and confident and he knows how to make himself look calm and rational next to the "crazy transtrenders". And at the time, I didn't know everything about beings trans(still don't because cis woman) and I saw him as an authority. Needless to say, I've learned some stuff and grown up. I can't say this with total authority, but I think it's safe to say that his(and more so Blaire's) content appeals more to cis people than actual trans people.
i've seen a lot of ex-kalvin garrah fans sharing their stories, so i think i'll give mine a go:
hi. i'm a binary trans guy who was never really attracted to traditionally feminine clothes and experiences pretty standard gender dysphoria. basically, kalvin's target audience. and a lot of the reason i'm so adversed to femininity is because of him. i started following him while i was still in denial about my identity, and thought i was a cis lesbian. his videos appealed to me, like many others, in no small part because they made me feel comfortable as a "cis" person. i was looking at this trans guy who didn't threaten any of my ideas of gender or what "a man" could look like, pointing and laughing at some crazy person who did. someone who said, "hey. i have long hair and a large chest and i wear the color pink and i'm _not a girl."_ and as someone who, at the time, did look and act that way, his videos gave me a sense of comfort. i was standing next to him as he laughed and said, "no, you _are_ a girl. you have long hair and a large chest and wear the color pink and so you _are_ a girl." and that meant i didn't need to question anything. i just took him at his word.
so when my gender identity started plaguing my mind more and more, it was crushing me. it was the iron ball that followed me around everywhere, no matter how hard i tried to push it out. and i tried. a lot. when it got to the point where i could no longer ignore it, i had already stopped watching kalvin for about a year due to being uncomfortable with his usage of the "r" slur, but his rhetoric had already seeped its way into my mind and stuck. i was completely adamant about needing dysphoria to be trans, and even though i would never outright _deny_ the identities of trans people who seemed very GNC, i'd always side-eye them a bit. for almost a year of gender being the only thing on my mind daily, eventually i had to come to terms with the fact that i was a guy. and suddenly, the floodgates were open. in less than a month, i had cut my hair incredibly short, changed my entire wardrobe, and practically lived in a hoodie. and it turned out i was a lot more comfortable with some of those things, but his rhetoric had sent me into an identity of hypermasculinity. because of the people like him who had always told me that trans men couldn't be even slightly feminine, i had become miserable. my favorite tv shows? gone. my love of fashion and interesting clothing choices? gone. even art, which was something i had been doing for years and was one of my greatest passions, had become a source of dysphoria.
kalvin garrah was the catalyst for my obsession with hypermasculinity and his videos have contributed massively to my dysphoria. of course, a lot of what i changed about myself in that month had to do with basic passing (like the hair, clothes, etc.). but the fandoms? the subcultures? the painting? none of that was going to change how the starbucks barista or the macy's employee or the stranger asking for directions would gender me. that had to do with the idea that had been implanted into my head by people like him that trans men _must_ perform every expectation of masculinity imaginable or they're "not trans." and that... sucks. because it's still there. the idea is still lurking in the back of my mind that if i wear the wrong shirt or laugh the wrong way or walk at the wrong pace that that i am wrong about everything. that i am wrong about my identity and my gender and my dysphoria. that i'm... just wrong.
your video made me realize a lot of things about myself that had sort of been lurking under the surface for a while. so cheers to all the trans people who are still negatively affected by his rhetoric and someday being able to get over our collective trauma about nail polish.
Holy shit that was so brutal to read... im glad you got over it
I'm in my way finding out if I'm non-binary or just an akward cis person. Even thought I am 100% sure I am. I'm in this position were I am denying who I am. And today. Opening my phone. I found this video. I'm curious but I really don't want to go and search for his channel until I'll accept my identity. And I'll be 100% of who I'm to the point were even the strongest argument won't make me change my mind. I'm really sorry for what happen to you. He's was brainwashing you. And that's pathetic. Somehow I feel like he needed attention. And he was here just for clout. Seeing other people comment about what he said. They are all false. Even as a beginner. I know basic knowledge in the matter that makes me belive that what he says is false. He destroyed lifes and should take accountability for what he did. I hope people who were targeted by him are fine now.
@@blackfalcon3752 thanks for your reply! yeah, i really wouldn't recommend looking into his videos, especially as a nonbinary person. i agree that it's always good to research how people of different opinions think in order to develop your own worldview, but a lot of kalvin's "opinions" are really just bullying tactics meant to hurt GNC and nonbinary people. i wish you the best in working through your gender identity, and that however you choose to label yourself in the future is totally valid, my friend
he taught me that trans men cant be fem boys. I came out as trans in 2019 and now i am an enby. My style and identity is fluid. Im only 13 but ever since ive stopped watching him ive learnt that it isnt all muscles, moustaches and deep voices. Its about you and what you want. Im glad ive grown.
That is absolutely lovely to hear, i hope you're doing okay and staying safe! I personally currently still identify as a cis woman, but am using she/they pronouns to try it out and notice how i feel about that. I hope you're able to keep experimenting with what you want and don't want in a safe space! May you have a wonderful lovely day, sending a lot of platonic love to you!! ❤
Exactly! I’m so glad I wasn’t exposed to his content back when I was still unsure about my gender identity because I now identify as a trans boy but still dress femininely and do “feminine” like wearing makeup and jewelry so his content would’ve made my already extreme denial even worse and I would’ve taken so much longer to figure out I was trans despite it being so obvious
Jesus, im so ashamed that I used to watch him as a cis person. I am really sorry, thank you for speaking your truth I have learned a lot from you
Same! I’m cis as well and when I found his channel i didn’t know anything about the trans community and since he’s trans himself I really believed anything he said. Now I know better and I’m really sorry.
@@jimenajaimes2826 As a cis person, I can tell you its less about him being a horrible monster, but more about the fact that he has done extremely harmful and horrible things, many of which he hasn't adressed or apologized for. I can't speak to the experiences and imapct he has had on all the trans people he has bullied and harmed. All I can do is listen and try to be empathetic.
goddamn ducks same! I’m a trans man believed a lot of what he said as I was trying to figure out who I saw and he was the only trans person with a decent platform so I got sucked into his narrative
Literally same. I wasn’t one who ever went and harassed Brennan but I watched that video and I’m sitting here feeling sick to my stomach from realising what these people really did to SO many others.
@@jimenajaimes2826 I mean...... I’m pretty sure he did tell people not to go hate on anyone but the videos gone so I cannot double check.
Ultimately, I think the reason Kalvin's message ended up being so effective is because a large percentage of his audience is young trans guys who are really insecure and are still trying to discern what it even means for them to be trans. They place this basis of their identity on something intangible, like their personal experience of dysphoria. So when someone also says they are trans but explains their dysphoria differently or has a different response to the dysphoria they do have, it feels like something is being taken away from them. When someone else "claims" to be trans but defines it in a different way, then either their own definition must be wrong - or the other person isn't trans. And people hate being wrong, so they assume the other person isn't trans and feel like they have to go on the attack to protect their own transness.
Interestingly, this phenomenon is the mirror image of many trans people's response to detransitioners. They feel they must attack detransitioners (even if they are only speaking about their own experience) because their story upsets their narrative about what it means to be trans. I wish more people would see this. We can all coexist.
Also, Kalvin, more than an other trans person I've seen, will BRAG about how he used to bind like 24 hours a day. And how he will never let his partner see him naked or touch his actual body. How sad. But also, he's so triggered by his own body that to see someone else (e.g, you in the video he responded to) who is trans not hide their chest probably just makes him panic because he's like "I was trying to convince everyone (and myself) that I didn't have those parts and now you've shown the world that I really do!!!!" And I think a lot of people feel that way but don't understand what they're feeling
@@gamerguy5591 except for the fact that those two things arent outwardly 'showing off' characteristics. maybe those are more comfortable for someone to wear. its unfair to categorize gender dysphoria as symptoms that are cut and dry, because thats not how that works. as a nonbinary person, sometimes i feel more feminine than others. does that mean i dont experience dysphoria? no, it just means that some days i feel more comfortable than others.
people wearing what they want doesnt inherently equal no gender dysphoria. if someone wears what makes them comfortable, why would the shape of their body inherently mean theyre 'showing off' those characteristics?
As someone who found out I was a binary trans man and not nonbinary from viewing his content, this is absolutely the case
Also I think some cishets, or at least cissies stumble over his channel sometimes and when there’s a transguy who kinda gives them permission to bully other trans ppl (that don’t fit in their binary and stereotypical understanding of gender) they’ll listen since it fits perfectly in their morals.
Idk if I’m really a young trans guy or even a trans person at all but while I watched him I definitely though I was, I’m still questioning so idk but I can confirm this. I was 100% convinced I was a trans guy, and I may be idk, but his content made me feel like “yeah I’m not a trender I’m a real guy” and it definitely preys off misinformation and honestly cisnormative views of male and female. I’m ashamed to ever have liked his content
I hope the person who was dysphoric over a f***ing pop socket a wonderful day and a happy new year. I also hope you have a wonderful day and a happy new year, Brennan. And anyone who sees this comment, I hope you have a wonderful day and a happy new year.
He made a video whining about how someone said his dysphoria comes from his bad childhood. He was super offended that someone was defining why he's trans for him yet that's what he does to everyone else.
Just had to do a double take at your username lol
@@AWorth-hj6uk same lmao
You ain't wrong!
Thank you kaitlyn 🥰
Based gun girl
He's honestly just such a hateful person. I do not understand people like that and I never will. Everything he said in that video and many others, he could've just kept to himself.
Yeah! Honestly, I could even find a way to think slightly better of him than I do if he had made the video not thinking much of it but then seen what was going on and taken it down, told his followers to stop...but he didn't for YEARS. And he clearly never learned any lessons since he made many other similar videos just straight up mocking teens on tiktok etc who he thinks are Cringey Trenders.
Its just so blatantly irresponsible given his following, and he is definitley old enough and has been online enough to know this could happen to someone he targeted. Or if it was debate or a real conversation he wanted he should have like, reached out to Brennan and asked about setting that up? But ofc it was just him ranting and mocking someone's identity (and body...class act Kalvin. Was that part really helpful and necessary to spread awareness for Real Trans People?)
Kalvin Garrah: *reads Brennen's pronouns at the beginning of his video*
Also Kalvin Garrah: *consistently misgenders Brennen for the entire video*
What are her pronouns??
@@casiecase12 He/They
@@casiecase12 use they them when you don’t known their pronouns
@@casiecase12 He/they pronouns. Although I think when Kalvin reacted to their initial video, they used neopronouns at that time.
@@robinfiybe what's a neopronoun?
Kalvin Garrah's new video on neopronouns is getting shat on with troll comments, memes/copypastas, and people pointing out his hypocrisy and I personally love how the tables have turned.
Brenen we love u boo, you do you.
10:55 - "It's not a debate. It's not an argument. Kalvin Garrah has no authority to even suggest my identity is anything but what I say it is."
Wow, this is so, so powerful. I replayed this part so many times.
Didn't even notice how good that was
i identified as a trans man for YEARS because of kalvin. his arguments and actions made me absolutely miserable because i tried to fit myself in the same box that he was in. obviously i couldn’t, i am not a trans man. even now, i still feel disgusted with myself on occasion because i am not what everyone wants to see when they think of a trans person. it’s taken me nearly five years to finally realize that i am who i am, and who i am is okay.
Blaire and Kalvin are the "I'm not like other girls" trans edition
Marius They're the king and queen of gate keeping
I feel really terrible about all this, and want to apologise. I am a cis woman, but a few years ago I went through a period of questioning my gender identity, and like most of you here, went down the rabbit hole of watching trans (mostly men) youtubers, and Kalvin Garrah was one of them. I remember watching his video on you, and lots of other "transtrenders" as he called them, and believe that he was right, and that you had to have dysphoria and fit into specific rules to be trans. I have since grown up, and learnt so much more about the trans and non-binary community, and especially since my sibling has come out as non-binary, I have learnt how vast and unique every trans experience is. My point of this is, that Kalvin's rhetoric doesn't just hurt young trans people watching him, but it also taught any cis person watching some really fucked up ideas about what it means to be trans, and in doing so perpetuated transphobia from people looking for a reason to hate on non-binary people. I am so sorry I listened to him, and I hope that we all continue to learn, grow and heal.
I went through something very similar, I’m so happy I stopped watching him
I went through a he same thing(I wasn’t questioning my gender, just my sexuality) but I have sense learned that, even if someone is a “trans trender”, they are fine! They are exploring their gender and in the end, If they are cis, now they know! And if their trans, great now they know! Not everyone knows their gender right away, I have a friend who has transitioned and come out like 2 or 3 times and now he knows that he is not NB and he is not a female. And it’s fine that he went on that journey, it was his.
Wooooord. I went through the same thing. I now mostly just go by andro but holy shoot do i hate my hateful ass high school self
lucy, elizabeth, ginger
words will never express how thankful i am that there are cis people who will listen and change their beliefs accordingly, thank you so much.
you're better people than you once were and i'm so unbelievably grateful that you're being open about mistakes you've made, you're beautiful and wonderful people and i'm so happy to be on the same earth as all of you
The sad part is, he was one of my first few exposures to the trans community (I didn’t even know I was trans at the time). I thought he was a kinda cool guy, I thought what he said was what people went by like they were rules. I watched him for a few months, but then stopped watching him because he wasn’t that interesting. But then I was introduced to what the trans community actually was, I realized I was non-binary, and it felt so great. He recently showed up on my UA-cam for you page and I thought “Hey, why not. I haven’t watched him in a while” and watched it. I got around 5 minutes in and I felt invalid, I felt like what I was feeling wasn’t real. I got off the video very quickly and realized how bad he was. I’ve heard him being awful but thought “He can’t be _that_ bad, right?” Yes, he can be that bad, and he is.
Kalvin: "I'm trans"
Everyone: "okay"
Kalvin: "but if you aren't exactly like me then you aren't trans"
Everyone: 😐😑😐
I know the meme for this lol
Ion think u watch his videos at all 👁👄👁
@@cybr224 Ion? Do you mean I don't? Sorry If I sound mean but I don't quite understand...
@@cybr224 Good. Kalvin is fucking annoying
Sounds like another Blaire white... Smh
as a cis person consuming kalvin's content legit gave me so much internal transphobia and i'm undoing the damages as quickly as i can... i'm sorry that my views validated his bullshit and i want to be better.
It’s only called internal transphobia if you yourself are trans. Otherwise it’s just called transphobia
That man is so ableist on top of being transphobic. I'm nuerodivergent, and experience gender differently than most would and he made me feel so invalid that I shut out any thoughts I had about possibly not being in the binary because of what people like him thought and it sucked
Now i'm experimenting w/ neopronouns after completly rejecting the idea that I could use them for so long
i am so unbelievably proud of you /g
yesss fellow nd trans person!! we obviously experience things differently than nt people so them making fun of that is straight up ableist
yoo if it’s not too uncomfortable what pronouns are you vibing with? :0
What are your pronouns luv 💋?
I’m an autistic non-binary person and after watching Kalvin’s content I convinced myself that I was cis since I didn’t experience dysphoria in the same way as him. Now I know that is bs since 1) I am non-binary so obviously I experience dysphoria differently than a binary trans person and 2) I am autistic so my brain is wired differently than the neuro majority and I process the world differently than allistic people so it is also true here. I suppressed my true gender identity and forced myself to identify with saying I’m a cis woman since I didn’t have intensive dysphoria all the time and I didn’t want to be seen as a trender. About a week ago, I unsubscribed from Kalvin and finally came out as non-binary.
As a non-binary person, his ideologies had me messed up for years. I don’t have much physical dyphoria, but I do have it, and for years I hated myself bc his whole argument was saying I wasn’t trans enough.
The content that Kalvin, Blair, Arielle Scarcella make pushed me into the closet deeper as a teen. It wasn't until finding contrapoints that I realized I might actually be a valid trans girl
Brennen really went and called Kalvin Garrah just "this silly, annoying, trans boy". WELCOME BACK KING
I hated myself because of transmedicalism for years, I was a fucking transmed too and I was constantly self analyzing and psyched myself out of seeking medical transition because I was worried the doctor would tell me I'm not dysphoric enough to be transgender. I didn't wear what I liked, I didn't do things I liked because they were seen as girly, I didn't dye my hair, I didn't DARE even wish for a binder in any colour other than black, white, grey, or nude. leaving transmedicalism made me feel so much better, I wear whatver, I have dyed hair, I do what I want, and use pronouns outside he/she/they. it was so freeing outside the hate I got from people I used to identify with (because they're cannibalistic wolves who will go after anyone)
Kalvin is so disgusting. I am so glad you are speaking out against transphobia within our community.
as someone just entering their 40s, feeling super alienated by everything in life, it does give me somewhat of a glimmer of hope that the younger crew is doing such amazing work, and creating the kind of world that i thought we were moving toward when i was a kid. i hope one day people can enjoy that. i'm pretty sure it won't be me, but as long as its somebody, that's a thing for small joy.
thanks for being you, and sharing that with us.
You are much more enjoyable to watch than Kalvin ever was. I'm not in a space where I can really express my identity and watching Kalvin while I was growing up in that situation made me feel like such a fake for not expressing it, and it made me scared to tell anyone. You're much more comforting to watch and I feel like you're a much better role model for young people in similar situations
Kalvin was one of the first trans influencers I had ever seen. I remember that video. I am forever sorry for my ignorance and contributing to the view count of that horrid video.
This was so calm and articulate, I honestly don’t think I would have the patience to talk about that dbag
I want to know where his parents were. If my kid was treating people like that they'd learn what life was life in the stone age.
That's the wild thing, if I remember correctly he made it seems like his mum didn't find react like it was big deal when he told her he was trans. I guess even with support internalized transphobia doesn't go away
@@lordtette I wouldn't care if my kid is trans. I would care if my kid was a cyber bully. I'm surprised no one in his life told him to stop.
@@Hinzmana @Hinzmana What I meant was this isn't just a black and white case of cyberbullying. This is someone trans directing anger to people from his own community knowing the pain themselves.
The belief is having an accepting home, friends, support system etc can negate the inner hate and build up self esteem especially with a transphobic society. I'd expect such behaviour from people who've dealt with huge rejection. His cyberbullying isn't going end till he goes to therapy to deal with the self hate. Because the root of the bullying (I think) is internalized transphobia.
Honestly, I'd be shocked as a parent to see my kid who I've supported in their own transition bully other trans folks; when not everyone is lucky to have supportive parents or just support period.
Sorry for the wall of text. it's sad that the popular trans youtubers are in a circlejerk and are the ones pushing transphobic dogwhistles and narrative. I do understand you can deal with internalized anything and still have support it's the fact the hate gone internal to external. Plus making money and being popular he's finally getting the validation he seems to want. There is way too much to unpack I'm just glad he is now starting to be held accountable.
i watched his content to help solidify the hate i was hearing in my community around me and keep myself repressed. i internalized so much transphobia and queerphobia from his bullying to creators i know realize i related to so much. it took 5 years for me to come out after finding his content.
for literal YEARS I suppressed being non binary because of him. I looked up to him so much to the point where I didn't want to wear anything feminine and looking in the mirror telling myself "you can't be non binary that's not real you have to be 100% masculine" and then going back to "I'm not trans I'm not trans I'm not trans I like makeup and dresses how could I be trans?" and it effects me still. I hid being genderfluid/nonbinary from my friends because I didn't want to be an "sjw" btw I was 11-14. I'm so glad you're speaking out about this. I'm so proud of you.
I had the same problem when I was a Kalvin fan. I thought I had to be FTM because I definitely wasn't cis, I hated being she/her and my female body, but I also like dresses and makeup and nail polish. I'm NB transmasc, and I didn't let myself explore that as a Kalvin fan.
i cannot believe how much kalvin has hurt the trans community i wish he could read this comment section
He’d probably just laugh, kalvin genuinely shows no signs of remorse or changing of his rhetoric
im nonbinary but im afab and present feminine. he made me question myself so much.. i am sorry for the pain he put you and so many others through
Your pfp makes me uncomfortable lmfao
@@Tadpole_Plyrr2 y
stuffing an animal crossing character about politics is just funny to me lol
@@Tadpole_Plyrr2 fair
I am not even in the trans community, and I was hurt by him.
I'm an ace victim (of se*ual and physical @buse), and Kelvin once made a video full of misinfo, telling that aces are just "looking for attention" and have "problems medically" I can't say how much it fucked me up. from looking ways to "convert" myself to be hetro, to looking for a "cure" and self blaming myself for what happened to me.
Kelvin even joked saying:
"you never see asexuals being be@ten up on the street."
But the thing is... I was.
I was be@ten by my classmates for my ace behavior, they used to call me "freak" "loveless monster" and even throw stones at me before I even know what ace was. he didn't just stepped on the se*ual @buse, he continued with saying no ace is ever hurmed for being ace.
Kelvin helped promoting the mentality of a group of fans (that still exist on face-book) those people mock ace victims of @bu$e, they they even mocked Bianca Davies (the girl who came out as ace hours before being k---d by an incel)
He helped my internalized hatred of my ace and bi side for years, I always felt I can't be LGBT+ because he "demanded" that you have to be LGBT+ his way, or else, you just have something wrong with you. I thought something was just wrong with me for years.
I used to be a fan, years ago, today, I can't even look at him.
because of him, ace v*ct*ms stopped being taken seriously by the community for a LONG time after his "Asexual is not LGBT!" videos, A lot of his fans sended "pics&vids" of p0rn and r@pe on twitter to ace kids, a lot of his fans mocked ace v*ct*ms publicly, and sometimes, I still see some of them laughing every time an ace person tells their story.
He basically ostracized my entire community Ace that did nothing wrong, we were always the smallest ones in the LGBT+, the most minority sexuality, and we never had a voice outside of our very small community, and he stepped all over us.
I don't thik any ace feel safe in LGBT+ spaces anymore. and even as a bi ace, I don't feel safe in LGBT+ spaces any longer after his rhetoric spread in the community. I will never feel completely welcomed in my own community again. it would take years to stop all the r@pe apologist that he summand that claim "no ace was ever correctively r@ped because no ace is ever hurt for being ace!"
I'm so sorry that you and other ace people experienced that it sucks that exclusionists exist
The fact that he spreads these harmful and baseless ''facts'' about the ace community is utterly disgusting.
We experience the same kind of hatred, bigotry and (self-)doubt as other members of the LGBT+ community and seeing him belittle these experiences, even though he claims to advocate AGAINST this exact kind of behaviour is nothing short of laughable.
I sincerely hope you are now in a better place mentally and that you get all the help and support you need!
i'm ace and panromantic and it really sucks how sometimes even in the lgbtq+ community asexuals (and others) are still treated as outcasts :c
at my school we had a GSA but it ended up being kind of divided because some people wanted to include everyone but others were being gatekeepers. i specifically remember one kid who was openly bi and said that the acronym should only be LGBT because it 'covers everything' and using labels other than lesbian, gay, bi and trans would be harmful to the community somehow. after that i didnt come out at my school cause i didnt feel like i was one of those four things 🙃
(i even tried to explain that there can be a difference between romantic and sexual attraction and they just said "not really" lol 😭)
As a hypersexual bi/pan I wanna send some love to ace peeps. X the amount of shit you get is absolutely unreal and being hypersexual cis woman I definitely get hate, shame and problems from being on a different "extreme" of sexual desire spectrum and you are perfectly valid in the lgbt+ community! Much love to y'all ace aces. X
I cried watching this. I truly cant thank you enough for this video and this series and for just being here on this mf earth
Kalvin really considers everyone who doesnt look / act like he does as some kind of faker and its like... damn man you self projecting a lot huh
trans ben shapiro, das all i'm gunna say
nice pfp!
Ive never seen Kelvin Geiger and Bean Burrito it the same room... 😳🧐🤔 kinda sus ngl...
yessirrrr 😌
I just wanna say as a trans man who went through a “I have to destroy everything even slightly femme about me to be valid” because of mindsets like Kalvin, including a ‘trans specialist therapist’ (HA!), I appreciate you speaking up. It was honestly just as dangerous for me to try to destroy all of that part of me and just as insincere to a different extreme. I’m a dude who likes some feminine things, and has some feminine attributes in my personality, and that’s ok. I’m still a man cuz that’s who I am.
I’m sorry you went through this, truly. But I’m glad you came back and took your strength and told your truth.
Me: how bad can kalvins rhetoric be?
*sees everyone who went out and said that his fans attacked them and how his rhetoric hurt many young trans and nb kids*
Me: oh Jesus Christ
i still struggle with severe internalised transphobia because of him and i'm SO glad this is happening because the idea that he is continuing to influence people terrifies me.
Me too
I used to support Kalvin Garrah, and I honestly don't know why I did. I am ashamed of the jerk I used to be, towards others and myself. I now am out as non binary and am becoming more confident in myself.
Good on you for breaking free from that toxicity.
@@kaydenhagg6924
Another embarrassed ex-fan. I never watched the video he reacted to of you, however I whole heartedly apologize. You are so strong and I’m so so sorry you ever had to feel any pain because of other people’s ignorance.
Not related but your eyebrows are looking fucking sharpppp🔪💀 I wish I was on your level✨
I applaud you for your sincerity, honesty, and your unwillingness to combat anger and hatred with more anger and hatred. That is such a beautiful way to live. Keep being yourself.
I use to support Kalvin, but Im also a trans man who dosent dress to a social norm of what men "should" wear and I have and still am doubting myself because of it. ive been better lately with it and am becoming more accepting of myself as a trans man who likes to look cute sometimes (Who dosent?) and I thank you so much for making this video (Havent even finished by the time I am writing it) and I am trying to be more happy about who I am.
that is all I have to say. Good day sir :)
fellow transman here :^D
im so proud of you for your progress dude, lookin cute and feelin good is something everyone deserves regardless of their identity.
sending you so much love, live your best life sam!!!
@@snoixalicious its Actually Teddy now 🤣 This is an old account and Ive been meaning to change my name 😁 and thank you so much for the support! I didnt even think Id get a response
@@Xx_0000_xX live your best life teddy!!! :^DD
@@snoixalicious you too!
i know i'm not the only one but i also wanted to apologize because i used to agree with him, mostly because i was a very insecure pre-T transman and kalvin created this sort of "target" where we could direct our insecurity and blame someone else for it. the more i began to listen to non binary people and their experiences the more i realized how awful and mean he really was, i learnt that i didn't need to understand an identity to respect it. I'm glad you're doing better now and i hope someday kalvin takes responsibility for the harm he's done
I remember seeing his video when I was 12-13 years old and I'm ashamed to say that I thought "Hm ah yes, youtuber say dis, youtuber must be right if youtuber say dis". So I apologize for believing him. You shouldn't have gone through all this, you are valid!
this video and reading all the comments is HEALING.
come to trans jesus moment
Thank you so much for speaking out. Also also?? Can i compliment on how just how- friendly you look? Your way of speaking and ur personality its very relaxing for me
thank you for coming back and thank you for being strong, I'm sorry you had to go through that, we love and support you!
Love how this used to have no replies
So glad to see one of my favs supporting others in our community 💕
there are a lot of things that I can say in response to the stuff that you said in this video, but the biggest thing I'm walking away with is that it truly is a shame that you felt pushed off of this platform because you're very well spoken and you probably could have had a really big impact on this platform. Please keep doing what you're doing!
💖
literally ive seen so many comments by you on different videos
kattttttt ily
thank god for tik tok
The queen has spoken
A trans man: wears a skirt
Kalvin Garrah: And I took that personally-
Ever seen cavetown's sweet tooth music vid? He was wearing a skirt. And he looked cool as fuck. You gonna cry Kalvin?
@@wistermorldwide he really did though!! :D
omg it's Gundham Tanaka
@@wistermorldwide Considering Kalvin's weird "rivalry" with Cavetown/Robbie, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he got mad over that lol.
OMG IT’S GUNDHAM
Brennan: I'm happy and enjoy being myself.
Kalvin: THAT IS NOT CORRECT
bECAUSE ACCORDING TO THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MLPJFLMOGFAKMJF (bullshit)
Everyone else: look Kalvin just because you’re unhappy and hate yourself...
@User I genuinely don't understand this. How does a trans person saying: "I enjoy being myself" impact their dysphoria? If Sylvia Rivera said "I like myself" would you have claimed she wasn't trans?
i probably would've realized i'm nonbinary way sooner if i never found him
I feel the same way.
me too,, even now I have alot of the problems with my gender identity because of watching Kalvin at such a young age
Same. :T
ME TOO
same, i still have difficult problems with my identity because of him
The maturity. The confidence. You didn't make fun of him. You didn't take out rage on him. And you ABSOLUTELY could have and it would have been justified. You did exactly what you said you wanted to do. Take your voice back. You spoke incredibly well with authority and clarity and did I mention confidence?! My God. I'm amazed and incredibly impressed. I hope this army grows more. Because you absolutely deserve all the things. I look forward to learning from you.
+++
hey Brennen, you probably don’t remember me but unfortunately you definitely would remember the hurtful thing i commented from my old account years ago. ): i came here to apologize, and to own up to my actions.
i am appalled at how the trans community has turned against ourselves, i could say i was blinded by Kalvin’s rhetoric of “fake trans” and “trenders”, but it wouldn’t be a genuine apology if i just used that to excuse my actions. Kalvin may have had/still has a great impact of how trans (men especially) act and think about gender, but ultimately i made that decision to type out something that was intentionally harmful, and post it. I feel so guilty, for giving in to Kalvin’s toxicity, for consciously saying something to you that was hurtful and wrong, and i absolutely regret it. you are 100% valid, your identity and emotions are real, and nobody should be able to take that away from you. thankfully i have grown, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that i added to your pain in the past. i am genuinely, sincerely sorry. you did not/still do not deserve any of the hate that has come your way, you are a ray of sunshine in the dark clouds, and i wish you the best on your transitions.
Me too...Your not the only one. Although I didn't comment anything to Brennen or anyone else's channel, I am still guilty for EVER enjoying his content.
Hey, Brennen, I'm also really sorry.
You are real regardless of whatever I or anyone else thinks. I'm glad you stayed strong.
@@VillagerCometh Same here, I’m so glad that I found other people to challenge Kalvin’s views.
People like you are the main character Because you can own up to your actions and grow as a person
@@VillagerCometh Me, too. I feel bad that I ever watched any of his content. I don’t think I really understood what he was saying back then, but I do now. Even with his influence, though, I had no excuse thinking that way. I promise I don’t think that way anymore and I am sorry to everyone in the non-binary, genderqueer, and genderfluid communities, as well as people in other communities that K****n dislikes. Stay strong!
^ this is what we need right now. fairplay to you time pepo :)
As a cis woman who watched him for a short while and agreed with what he said, I’m so sorry. I even remember watching the video he made on you. I have never struggled with dysphoria, and had no right to assume things of trans or non-binary people. I am sorry.
As another cis women who used to watch him I agree completely with you.
Same and I'm trans. He managed to manipulate a bunch of people, some to hate on a community they weren't a part of and some to hate on themselves. I never went out of my way to harass anyone but I still feel bad for adapting his mindset and looking down on fellow trans people
I'm also cis. I can't believe I followed someone who was just as uneducated as I was. Learn from the people themselves, not someone who feels they have to invalidate others for a point that they know isn't right.
Thats my same experience, I regret it so much, I just hated things I didn't understand without realizing i was talking about real people made of flesh and feelings, that just want to be happy with themselves, and that my words and opinionshad consequenceson their lives. I was such a transphobic trash can, I'm sorry about it and I know I cant go back, so I just support them anx representation with my drawing, learning everything day about trans experiences and listening
another cis girl here, I watched a ton of his content for a while a couple years ago. I just remembered he existed and checked out a recent video and jesus CHRIST this guy is cruel and insecure.
If it weren't for kalvin I would have been such a happier man much faster.
You’re here now 🥺❤️
I feel so horrendous for agreeing with their shit before. I understand now that I was a huge that back then and am striving to be more accepting because this is YOUR life, not mine. I'm proud of you for coming so far.
Very much same.
hh same ngl
like i was tryna be hella extremely masc and that’s just never who i was even tryna pass being that masc is not me and he was saying that i had to do it or i’m a girl so i had to but then i realized i like yellow and my hairs kinda long there’s no valid reason i shouldn’t wear a hairbow and some shirts with poofy sleeves
@@silossilos1927 Young peoples hormones are a rollercoaster + naivity
I am cis (part of the LGBT+ community) and used to watch his videos to educate myself of trans matters. I remember that video and to some extend I had internalized his views. Luckily there are many other trans people who have shared and keep sharing their stories and experiences. He is a prime example that being LGBT+ does not equal being open minded. Everyone's story is different everyone is valid. Nor he, nor I nor anyone is to judge.
To add on this, in his video(and in many others) he was simply bullying. That is unacceptable. Thank you for speaking out , you are a very strong person ❤️
as a black trans male, i really didn't like the way he branded trans men and ultimately makes us look like all trans men are like this and its so harmful. no matter how you express your gender, it doesn't mean that people have a right to try and regulate and box your identity. it's not fair and it isn't right. ill be honest i watched his content when i was 14 coming to terms with being trans, and it was so HARMFUL for my development as a trans person and navigating how i was supposed to present myself in order to pass. im glad i don't see things that way anymore and i hope enby folks understand that trans men don't all operate this way but im ashamed of trans men who don't support ALL trans people.
Couldn't have said it better myself. Kalvin's content harms both his viewers and the people they go after and as a community we have to work to support all trans people indeed.
Same
Preach dude.
Same, dude.
++++
the thing about kalvin's rhetoric is that it literally doesn't care about whether or not you're dysphoric, it's about picking on people who don't fit their idea of manhood. it's exactly the same as cis men making fun of each other for crying or wearing certain clothes. it's about punching down in order to lift themselves up. i'm what, hypothetically, transmeds would see as a 'perfect transexual' (eg., i've been out living as a man for a decade, intend to fully medically transition to the best of my ability, have severe dysphoria, etc) but because i dye my hair, like makeup, and am a bit of prissy queen, they still target me. it just proves that they don't give a shit about what they say they do, they're literally only doing this to boost their own confidence and have a power trip from going from the bullied to the bully.
“AUGH. MAN DO MAN THING. MAN PUNCH ROCK. HRURG GRUG.”
I got the same feeling
Yeah, right?? Honestly anyone who tries to defend him, I'm just like..but he bullied people, very young people?? And inadvertently sent his fans to do so too? At that point, your intentions mean absolutely jack. (which I don't even believe what he says as to why he does this. Honestly I don't buy tha oh, he was Just Concerned About the Poor little Trenders cause...just no. If you're concerned you don't treat people like that). The bare minimum at that point is to apologize, publically and without concern trolling bs or excuses tacked on, but has he ever done that or admitted he's *hurt people*? If he has I haven't seen it.
At least most people who make "cringe content" don't usually take things this far or at least don't act like they're being *HELPFUL* and trying to protect Real Trans People in the process. Come on, dude, that's clearly horseshit, if you're going to be a dick at least be an honest one.
Very well said
As a former transmedicalist, I would have denied it comes down to self-validation some time ago. But you're totally right. I was extremely frustrated due to my transphobic environment and I needed an outlet, something to make me feel validated and to distract myself. Transmedicalism, by itself, is useless and easily becomes harmful. There are much better ways to prevent transition regret, for instance. So for a lot of people, it's just an excuse to feel superior, special and validated.
i feel so horrible for blindly following his beliefs for so long. he gave me so much internalized transphobia that i didn’t realize i’m non-binary until this year.
character development 🥺
Same Jesus the exact same thing happened to me I was in so denial that I took it out on people
I also used to watch his videos while I was questioning my gender identity. I still identify as a (cis) woman despite my pronouns being she/they/he because personally I really don't care how you refer to me as (but of course I understand why other people might care about their pronouns). But I remember watching a video where he said that non-binary people don't exist and I was just like, oh, okay then.
I eventually stopped watching his videos because I felt like my brain was becoming numb from all the hate.
the exact same for me, i was so toxic and internally transphobic that i didn't even let myself think about my identity for long enough to realise im non binary
Haha same
2021 must be the year of holding calvin accountable.
i’m here for this ^^
Nup
I’m all for it.
And Blaire White.
let me say this again
NEVER MISGENDER SOMEONE JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE THEM DON'T DO IT
I find Villains in Shows who respect the Hero's pronouns despite their hatred/villainy/evil immediately a lot sexier than other villains
@@LuzyWhitePhoenix Could you tell me about those villains, please? 0u0
@@itsMe_TheHerpes that's fucking creepy
I respect people as long as they respect me. That is all.
@@itsMe_TheHerpes Maybe develop some basic human empathy? Thanks. It costs you nothing to respect people’s pronouns.
Kalvin Garrah made me miserable as a trans person. He made me see the worst in me and my friends. He made me hate being transgender so much. Thank you so much for this. Thank you for speaking up and sharing your story. I'm so glad you are back. I'm so sorry for the hurt he caused you. It makes me so furious. Best wishes for you and your future. I wish you so much joy.
something I’ll never forgive myself for was when an old online friend I reconnected with in a gc came out to us and non binary and I told them I “don’t agree with you, but I’ll respect
you.” mind you I was in 6th grade, but what the fuck was that? all the kalvin and blaire I watched went straight to my head, I can’t believe I invalidated a friend who had the confidence to come out to our friend group. I hope they’re doing great right now because they were smarter than I ever was.
The way he portrayed “facts” and “evidence” against you in that original video just made no sense as time progressed. As a cis woman who used to watch him, I’m sorry I ever supported or watched such a garbage person like him. Kalvin used to actually call out true people in the LGBTQ+ group that were extremely damaging to the community, but then it became like weird nit picking or just empty words to attack random creators. I’m so glad you’re using your voice and your platform to call him out. 💕
Same, as someone questioning, I’m sorry that I ever gave him any support. And I am happy that you’re doing this. Lastly I hope you come back online because you seem like a cool voice to add to the community.
The same happened to me, but with Blaire White. She made me look into trans youtubers and sparked my interest in trans people and what they go through, their struggles, transphobia, etc. Now I'm an ally, but I can't believe I liked her and Kalvin (him just occasionally).
I agree. At the time I used to watch his videos I used to take what he said and use it as all the reasons I was not trans, because I wasn't what he said I should be. Looking back, it just doesn't make sense.
I am a cis girl and 100% agree that Kalvin makes content for cis people. I totally thought I was responsibly consuming content from 'real' trans people in watching Kalvin and Blaire. It was easy to consume because they challenge nothing about our concepts of traditional gender, and easy to digest because it's spent banding together to humiliate the 'others'... I'm now disgusted to face the straight up hate and transphobia I used to nod along with. Nobody is made better by Kalvin's content, constantly on the offense toward the communities he claims to represent. I'm heartbroken to know how that kind of behavior hurts non-binary people, it's a mistake I won't make again!
Also do you adopt and rescue horses, or ride and buy them?
Kalvin alone is responsible for his actions.
You were bullied out of your safespaces by a larger creator when you had a small channel.
despite literally getting top surgery at 14 years old and being on testosterone for like 3 years, kalvin ALWAYS found some way to make me doubt my identity as a man and as a transgender person in general. he made me think that i had to experience dysphoria just like him and constantly made me think there were such things as “girl” or “boy” things. he made me stop liking things i enjoy, things as small as the color pink, or doing my hair a certain way, etc. all he does is project his dysphoria on others to validate himself. i feel genuinely sorry for the hatred nonbinary people have faced because of him. despite being a trans person himself, he cannot understand that gender is something complex that cannot always be reduced to simply identifying as a girl or boy.
I'm a cis girl but I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I hope you can be your authentic self now or... Whenever you feel comfortable. Being feminine or liking "girls things" doesn't make you automatically not a man and I'm happy that at least now you already know this
hey we have the same pfp 😗
As a trans guy and a former Kalvin Garrah stan I have to say on the off chance you actually read this I am so sorry I was ever a part of that. I’ve reevaluated my views over the past year or so and realised how bad Kalvins actions really are, I hope you’re in a better place mentally now and know that you’re not an impostor just because you’re not him.
D’Angelo really needs to cover Calvin , like a pt. 2 of Blair or smth
edit: JUNE 2021 GO AND WATCH COPSHATEMOE’S NEW VIDEO ON THE TOPIC RIGHT NOW PLEASE!
D'Angelo covered Blaire pretty well, I would trust him to do this story justice too
Yaay you responded! You’re so brave Brennen!! I am so glad people are starting to notice this and break their silence, after all you’ve been though (and many others as well). I watched the video you privated and i really liked it and agree with it. It really seems evil and mean that someone would bully and pick apart the identity of such a free spirit. All these bullying and toxic behavior in the trans community must stop!
@@brennenbeckwith and it would be good cause his platform is huge, and people trust him a lot. I hope it’d help you spread your message :)
@@ami5marion forgive me if I’m misinformed, but I thought Kalvin was sort of reforming himself a little these days? It’s still awful what he’s done in the past, but from what I hear he’s on track for a sort-of redemption arc
@@patrickchoque7720 I’m not really a fan so I may be wrong. But even though he’s “reformed” a few days ago he was still talking shit abt Brennen’s video, and saying he would share “his side of the story” (like.. just apologize, dude and move on, it’s not that difficult). I think if he did apologize and stop spreading hate, people would forgive him, he’s very young, if he shows that he’s changed, the community will accept him.
Kalvin Garrahs mindset doesn't let anyone experiment with their identity or gender expression out of fear that they could get called a 'trender'. I have a nb friend who would constantly get called a trender on instagram and i remember them literally being scared that kalvin would make a video on them even though they didn't do anything wrong. He makes it so people live in fear and feel like they can't experiment.
I thought i'd been a 'trender' and looking back i realise that I was just experimenting with myself and trying to come to terms with lots of other things. Even now, years later, while I don't currently identify as nb or as a trans guy, I still wear a binder on occasions, I wear mens clothes, I dress androgynously, and its more about expressing myself then a label for me. Kalvin made me feel like i couldnt do that which is so messed up and made me analyse everything about myself thinking I had to fit into a box.
Also, with Kalvin he told someone who is chronically ill that they were faking just because they could stand but used a wheelchair. That always majorly bothered me. Most wheelchair uses can stand and walk!!!! But he dragged them through the mud and said they were faking which is so wrong.
hey I'm sorry that he made you feel that way! and I'm glad you are able to express yourself now. I personally don't believe clothing has gender, so to me you are just expressing yourself in general. dress how you please! and I didn't know he said someone was taking an illness, wth!
omg i feel the same, like I'm not allowed in the community because I don't have a concretely defined identity but I do not see or think of myself as binary. Its really hard bc i feel like there is so much gatekeeping. It makes me constantly question myself when I literally should just feel okay doing whatever the fuck I want with my gender.
I was trans and had a very confusing idea of gender and watching his videos after I transitioned back to female ( I didn’t do much transitioning to begin with ) made me feel like a trender but I wasn’t, the feelings I had were valid and I was lucky enough to get proper gender therapy and figure myself out before I went to change my body permanently. I had REALLY bad dysphoria and still do, but it’s different. I’m so glad I figured myself out but legit watching his shit made me scared to tell my story and how I came to terms with my gender and sexuality. Like obviously there’s people who do it for attention but to invalidate people just because their experience doesn’t fit yours is soooo fucked up
@@hunterjardine7148 but you choose for that to happen, everything he says is his opinion not law.... he is not even a actual person in your life so how are you made at him because YOU hung off of his words. Your self esteem is YOUR alone and no ones else
@@bribro23 if you think influencers or people with large followings can’t affect ppl in good or bad ways you’re ignorant as fuck
finally got freed from this "be one of the good ones" mentality about 2 years ago and my life is so much better and i discovered i actually enjoy using all pronouns and might be nonbinary! yay
Woaaaah!! Thats so rad that you use all pronouns :D!! And it's also rad to see you finding yourself!!
That's awesome❤
I’m not going to lie, I was a Kalvin supporter. And honestly I’m ashamed of it, although I never openly attacked other trans people I still supported people who did. I’m so so sorry for the harm I caused by supporting him, I myself used his content to push myself into the closet. I used it to disprove my identity, just like so many others did. His content is toxic, it hurts people. I’m proud of you, I’m glad you’re able to finally talk about it.
Same, I used to think I was a trans guy bc I didn’t know what nonbinary was and I felt like if I didn’t conform to his standards than I wouldn’t be trans.
I’m glad that I can now see how toxic he is and not watch any of his videos anymore.
Yeah me too. After I stopped watching his content and stopped putting restrictions on myself because I realized cis people’s opinions on me as a trans person don’t matter. Nobodies does.
@Alpha Muhammad Dude they just said they changed. You don’t need to attack them.
i feel ashamed i agreed with his video back when it was posted. i was younger then and actually didn’t have much knowledge of the trans & nb community yet... so, i took the information he gave and thought that he was right. but i was terribly wrong for being okay with the video he posted. now that i realise just how wrong his words were, i feel terrible. i hope i can be forgiven for believing what he had to say. 😓💔
@@plutoberry6393 literally the exact experience as me- its concerning how similar everyones expereinces is...
He’s friends with Blaire White, who is the queen of “trans people are only valid when they’re exactly like me”, so I’m not surprised that he’s just as bad. 🙃
I apologize as an ex-fan of his. You never should have gone through all that you did- no one should ever go through that.
I'd consider him slightly better in terms of the community since he hasn't made exclusively dogshit videos on trans people & he has made videos like packer recommendations, binder advice, etc. but he's still awful overall
Oh no yikes Blaire White is a huge jerk. Im gonna block this guy...
She's a racist transphobic fool
I used too be subscribed too Blarie White because she was friends with shoeonhead. Didn't like her at all. :/
Blair White literally misgenders people if they don't "look trans" like what😺
I’m a cis female, but I found Calvin before I met any other trans person so I assumed he was right and the others were wrong. I was so unintentionally transphobic while stupidly thinking I was an ally.
we can all be led astray, and the remorse you feel is proof that you're better than you once were.
Same here he was the first source I had of a trans person and just thought what he said was law. But now looking back the things he would say was disgusting
i did too. i was still DEEPLY closeted though, so him being my introduction to the community was.. not great. the way i thought was SO harmful, and i’m so glad i don’t think that way anymore. i’m glad we both learned and bettered ourselves!!
I’m so glad you’ve grown sence then 👍
I also feel this as a FTM who was a "late bloomer." I'm pretty masculine, but I spent so much of my teen years convinced I was a trender because I hadn't come out "early" enough and still felt a connection to my lesbian identity. I remember watching the video he made about you and crying because I recognized that you were more like me than I was him, and I wasn't old enough to know what to do with that feeling. All of my friends now are non-binary and genderqueer, not just because they're incredible people who have really opened my mind to gender, but also because I find to this day that online binary trans men communities can't seem to shake this "I'm better than you because I did X/didn't do Y" mentality, and I blame Kalvin for enabling it. It feels terrible to be cut off from people like you. I remember the time I was in a queer space and the one time another masculine trans man came he looked at me like I was a freak. This stuff hurts our community to this day. It was wonderful to hear from you again, I hope everything in your life goes well, you deserve so much love!
Hi Brennen, while I don’t fully understand non-binary identities, I do realize that just because I may not understand them doesn’t mean they aren’t real. Also I would never bully someone for having a certain gender identity or expression simply because I may not understand it. What Kalvin and his fans did to you was disgusting and it just shows how little self awareness and care for others they have. If Kalvin was truly sorry for bullying you, he would’ve apologized to you.
What do you not understand? I could possible help you and educate you! :)
@@leavemealoneha8042 I am not the original commenter, but I, too, don't fully understand nonbinary identities. Other than this lovely UA-camr, do you know anyone else I could watch for information about it? I want to understand and be the best ally possible!!
@@leavemealoneha8042 A couple non-binary people I’ve met have told me they’re non-binary because they’re not fully masculine of fully feminine. While I would never invalidate their gender identities, I don’t believe masculinity or femininity determines your gender. I’m not fully masculine or fully feminine (although I think I lean towards feminine) and I’m still a woman. Butch women also exist and they’re just as much of women as more stereotypically feminine women.
I don’t understand how you’re gender identity can consist of more than one gender or change on certain days (in the case of genderfluid people). A lot of non-binary people believe that gender is a social construct and I disagree with this. Gender roles, certain ideas about gender, and gender expression are socially constructed. I believe gender is psychological. I know there are studies that show that binary trans men and women have brains that are similar to the opposite sex than that of their own and some sort of malfunction of hormones in the womb can contribute to people being trans I think. Idk. It would be very interesting to see more research on this especially more research on the brains of non-binary trans people.
I am a cis woman. And I’ve wondered if I could possibly be trans (binary or non binary). After like 30 seconds of thinking about it, I realized I’m happy being a woman. I’m happy with my physical female characteristics, being seen as a woman, going by she/her pronouns, and identifying as a woman. If I identified as nonbinary, it would feel wrong. If I identified as a trans guy, took hormones, and got surgeries, that would feel wrong.
The thought of my face looking like a man, having a male voice, male chest, and a penis makes me shudder because it just feels so wrong. I would get gender dysphoria if I medically transitioned. None of this is because society tells me I’m a woman. I don’t always conform to what society tells me to be. It’s because psychologically my gender is a woman. Like if gender is a social construct, wouldn’t gender dysphoria not exist?
Hey Olivia! While the comments section probably isn't the best forum for this kind of discussion, I think I can add at least one thing directly to respond to this. Trans people often have to reduce their identities to garner basic respect from cis people, it's good to ask deeper questions but consider that nb peoples self conception of gender might be deeper than they initially reveal to you. Much like cis people, trans people can also have less comprehensive ways of expressing gender. Part 2 in the video series will have a bit more gender theory in there so I hope some of your questions can also be answered when that drops. But I think we agree that masculinity and femininity do not determine your gender. - Moderator
@@brennenbeckwith Yeah, trans people shouldn’t have to identify as a gender they don’t want to identify as just so certain cis people will respect them. Here’s my message to these certain cis people as a cis person myself: If you don’t understand a trans person’s gender identity, I get that. Hell, when I was 15 and saw Caitlin Jenner transitioning, I was super confused because I wasn’t educated at all on trans people (but unlike a lot of cis people, I was willing to listen to others educate me and I would never go out and bully someone because of their gender identity).
If you’re confused about someone’s gender identity, do some research on it. Look at forums for people with this identity. Acknowledge you’re not educated about everything there is to gender. If you still don’t understand it, ok then. Just be respectful of their gender identity. Don’t misgender them. Realize they’re not harming anyone by identifying a certain way. Seriously, someone tell these so called truscums and trans meds that non-binary people and gender nonconforming binary trans people aren’t hurting trans people. Trans people shitting on these people and cis people being assholes instead of being respectful and at the very least trying to understand these people are what’s harming the trans community.
Edit: Yeah, I understand now that how non binary people’s gender identities may be deeper than what they tell me. After all, I’m not in their head so I don’t truly know how they feel and what their experience with gender is like.
as a cis person, i used to eat up those “trans trender” videos when i was 14. i knew 1 trans person IRL who was kalvins version of the “correct” trans person.
i think dangelo wallace phrased it better in his blair white video, but i came to realize he capitalized on a lot of cis bias, where a lot of cis people get uncomfortable with people who “aren’t like us” or who’s identities we could never understand fully. he used those ideas and made himself out to be this person who called out these “fake” trans people and for a while i thought he was right, since he used facts and was trans himself.
then i met a lot of my internet friends, who kalvin would probably hate every aspect of- they use unconventional pronouns, they’re non-binary or have identified as non-binary at some point, and i could go on. i realized i had no say in what people identified as, and that the people kalvin made fun of were human too. i may never fully understand what they go though, but there’s no reason to hate and bully them.
Yeah. He takes advantage of the lack of knowledge that cis people have, and makes it easy for them. He puts trans people in a box, and makes it easy to understand. So from that point onward, anyone who experiences their gender in a way that isn’t easy to understand is immediately booted. I gradually stopped watching him and it was just so much more free of an experience. I stopped caring about what random cis people thought of me. Stopped caring if someone thought I was a trender, because I didnt care enough about anything they had to say. There is nothing wrong with wanting to pass as cis. But if you’re really going to believe and spread the narrative that being trans is okay, you also need to realize that not needing to pass as cis all the time is also okay. Because we aren’t cis. We are trans, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
And he fooled a lot of cis and trans people with zero facts! No sources, ever! Only his own anecdotes.
It disgusts me I ever liked or supported him. Brennan, I’m sorry.
Same here
Same... I'm so ashamed of myself for not understand what kind of person he is before...
Me too. I’m sorry to all the non-binary people here. I was introduced to Kalvin Garrah by a binary trans friend and I thought I was being and ally. We both learned to de-idolize him and recognize him as a trans man projecting his internalized transphobia.
yeah im embarrassed
Same :-/, I’m so disappointed in him and me
I didn’t know that being transgender existed until I was a senior in high school and I had no idea that being non binary was even a thing. I remember being obsessed with learning about people who identified as trans and came across Kalvin Garrah’s video about you. I was afraid of identifying as being on the non binary spectrum because I felt that I didn’t belong, that I would some how be contributing to the harm against people who were trans. I still have trouble fully identifying as non binary because I’m afraid that how I feel about myself isn’t valid, but it’s slowly getting better. Finally starting to come out to my friends and I get giddy when I hear friends call me “they” in conversation. I’m so glad you are doing well. Thank you for making this video.
So, I've literally never interacted with Kalvin Garrah's content, nor have I ever really been involved in the youtube trans community. But I've been running a non-binary support network for years now, and good LORD this guy's ideology is so prevalent, especially in the younger kids. So many young trans kids would come and ask the weirdest questions, if they're allowed to wear pink while being non-binary, can they be a transmasculine person while having long hair, asking if FEELING LIKE THEY'RE NONBINARY AND A LESBIAN makes them a trender, shit like that. Its terrifying! The harassment the group has been sent over the years by transmeds who align themselves with him has been WORSE than the cis transphobes, because they intentionally push to trigger dysphoria and place themselves as 'real trans people', using people's insecurities to make them question if the people harassing them are right. He's been a toxic influence on the whole of the newest generation of trans people and I'm relived to finally see some large scale pushback against this shit.
+++
It’s awful. As someone who is an AFAB femby who uses she/they I often don’t feel trans enough because of how many people have told me you have to be one way to be trans.
@@Eosinophyllis Oh shit!! I've never heard of she/they femboy before! That's actually SUPER cool!!! I'm a he/they femboy (in spirit, clothes are expensive, rip), and if it helps at all, I think you're not only valid, but cool and unique asf :D
@@ryanmackenzie6109 this comment is outdated I now use he/she (CERTIFIED NONBINARY MOMENT)
@@Eosinophyllis YOOOO LET'S GOOOOOO HAPPY GENDERING 💞
I’m so sorry that I used to think/act like him. I hated non-binary people, genderfluid people, gnc trans people, and I hated myself. I’m much much happier now that I don’t support people like him anymore. Maybe if I never found him I would have realized I’m non-binary much sooner. I hope everyone is able to forgive me.
i found that the more confident i became, the less i agreed with kalvin
QuinnCloud THIS. I used to love his content as a pre-t insecure trans person. He convinced me that being both nonbinary and male was unnecessary and I completely repressed the nonbinary component to my gender. I started hating myself and criticizing and judging trans people who had done nothing but... live their own lives differently than mine. As I started transitioning medically, grew up, and got more and more confident, I found that my views went in the other direction. I started basically believing the exact opposite of everything he said and it’s been so much happier for me and my interactions with other trans people.
As a genderfluid person, on behalf of my community. We forgive you, you've realized your mistake and the faults in such harmful views. I hope you have a wonderful day :)
We all make mistakes, I'm glad you're a happier better person now
If you support non-binary, gender fluid, gnc people now and you’re sorry for what you did then that’s ok and I forgive you
My dad always says “forgiving doesn’t mean reconciliation” look, if he changed it that’s good I never wish more crappy people spreading shadows but it doesn’t matter.
There are consequences to your actions and really being sorry is taking those consequences tbh if he was sorry he’d address you like a human being...and this is my opinion he’d honestly just get another job 🤷♀️
I hated nonbinary people for a long time, thought they were "transtrenders", like my family said. I watched Kalvin's videos for a long time and agreed with them, and now I'm out and proud as a nonbinary person. I still have moments of doubts about who I am because of the ideas sprouted by these people in the trans community, but I know logically my dysphoria and gender identity are valid. Thank you for making this video, for all of us.
Honestly, I'm going through pretty much this exact same issue myself. Due to little knowledge on the subject, constantly doubting myself and people like Kalvin Garrah that I used to follow, made me question my own identity and look down on others for not fitting a specific mould.
It's dumb because the world isn't as black and white as GIRL and BOY. I realize this now and I'm really upset that I was forcing those kinds of specifics on myself and other people when it's not like that... It makes me feel better seeing a lot of people are coming out and having such similar stories as me, but I'm still super nervous to admit that I think I'm nonbinary... I'm just afraid of being attacked or being wrong or questioning myself.. idk iahsdfijahdf i don't really know how to go about testing it out to see how I feel idk lmao aaa
Same. I still don't really know if I'm non-binary even though I'm sure I am. With definitions and people experiences I relate a lot. But I'm in this period of time where I'm denying or I just don't give a fuck. It's been a week ago when I stabbed into a video of copshatemoe and they ware talking about non-binary and stuff. And I related so much. All what they said was basically me. And than I also watched a video about asexuality and other things. And finds out I'm asexual. It all came in the same time. I'm kinda confused. Even though I know I am. I'm glad that after all this time when I was calling myself a weird cis girl. Now I know who I am truly and I found people who shares the same experiences as mine.
Ikr. I listened to Blair White and Kalvin for a long time, thinking enby people don't exist but I was WAY wrong.
@@pumpkibeezpt My online friends helped me a lot, a lot of them were already nonbinary. I just asked they use they/them for me to see how I liked it, how it felt, and they were super good about it and it just felt right. I knew I didn't want to be a man from a young age, and eventually I overcame trying to force myself to be a woman. If you find close friends, especially other nonbinaries, and tell them what you feel, they'll be supportive.
i’m a cis girl as well as a lesbian, blaire white and kalvin garrah were huge influences. i cannot apologize enough to all of my trans siblings for being so awful and spreading their narrative and borderline attacking gnc folk and covering it up as a “playful debate.” there’s no excuse for how i acted and the amount of other cis people who’ve shared the same experience as me is... so concerning
The kind of people like this, who can openly apologise for past actions that hurt other people, honestly give me so much hope. i can only speak on my own behalf but i thank you :)
as a nonbinary lesbian, thank you sm
Yeah I used to be like that too. I’m bi and cis
Girl same, not only was I midly transphobic and refused to listen to any one lesson because I watched those two so I clearly wasn't transphobic 😂. But also midly racist, because I of course feel down a rabbit hole after the last election. Definitely not proud of it, lots of deprograming has taken place for me in the last 1-2 years.
me too. i am a lesbian who fell into the blaire white and kalvin garrah and ben shaprio whirlwind for about a year. i am so embarrassed by that but i’ve grown so much in my beliefs since being 16, but i do feel bad that i might have contributed to all that bullshit.
I was infected by this mans rhetoric at the ripe age of 11 and closeted myself for so long because he convinced me that I was faking my entire experience as a trans person for attention. He was this “real” trans guy and I was just some stupid little girl who wanted to be “quirky” and “different”, I’ve been so miserable and in this huge war with myself and it’s really nice to be able to see people who have had similar experiences to me finally talk about it. I’m finally able to get him out of my head and stop gaslighting myself over and over again, I can finally say with confidence that I’m the only person who knows about my identity and I’m the only person who gets to decide who I am. Thank you for making this video Brennan
I felt that same way when I saw that video when I was 13, it's really nice to see in words that I'm not the only person who felt/feels that way and it doesn't make me any less valid, so thanks :)
I felt that I started watching him when I was 12 and it really affected my view on trans people it’s really dangerous to watch his content as cis person because I thought that there was only one way to be trans
Can we just acknowledge how well spoken Brennen is? geez kalvin, you have a lot to make up for lol
"transtrenders" are forced to learn how to word stuff well otherwise we're brushed off as rage-spitting stupid feminazi trenders :/
Non binary person: *Exists*
GNC Trans person: *Exists*
Kalvin: "THIS HURTS ME"
Him: *WAIT. that's illegal*
Kalvin: And I took that personally
He acts like non-binary people and neo-pronouns are a personal attack lmao
What's GNC? Genuinely trying to learn.
@@ExhaustedRaccoonDad Gender Not Consistent
The way he and Blaire act towards trans people that are different from them is just so annoying. Like I used to watch him and blaire, but the way they acted so aggressive and rude towards people not like them made me feel very sus, and I kinda stopped watching cause i didn’t agree and didn’t like the way they bullied people
It's like if other trans people don't present themselves exactly like them, they're not valid. That definitely is an insecurity thing
Glad I'm not the only one. their toxicity chased me away from each of their channels, respectively.
ori ;-;: I feel like the stereotypical behavior of many cisgender males has rubbed off on him and many other trans-males.
@@trip7454 yeah same here. like, not all trans people feel the need to absolute slobber all over the boots of cis people. we don’t all worship them and want to be just like them. there’s nothing wrong with being trans.
Kalvin's content hurt me a lot. A lot of hatred, internalized and against others. I wore a skirt for Halloween this year (i'm transmasc) and it was one of the most amazing feelings to actually feel comfortable expressing myself in a feminine way at all. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that Brennen, Jesus Christ i cant imagine how that would've impacted someone. I hope your'e doing better now.
i’m so happy u could express urself like that!! skirts are fun to wear :> i made one for a cosplay a few years back and it takes some confidence to wear lol
I'm glad you were able to rock that skirt and feel good about yourself. I'm sure you looked great. Your gender is really valid dude, and it's not defined by anything other than what you know it is.
😐
@@Alllooclov ?????????,
that's so good !!! happy for you
imagine thinking a small creator who isnt exactly like you talking about their own experience is speaking over YOU, a conventional binary trans creator with a huge following
couldn’t have said it better👏👏
Right?? The irony of him claiming "trenders" are snowflakes who want attention and Can't Handle the Truth, but (1) young nonbinary person with a much smaller following existing and speaking on the same internet as him is going to destroy him and every other Real Trans Person TM...is amazing.
Omg we have the same name! I’ve never met anyone with my name that’s so cool!
Immortal Velociraptor finley is such a cool name honestly
to be fair i bet he only gained that large following by allowing transphobes to hate on the ''wrong kind'' of queer people. bigots LOVE someone palatable from a marginalized group criticizing that same group.
He pushed so many enbies to spiral. I was here when he completely tried to dox gothfruits to the point where rin (gothfruits) became suicidal. Kalvin needs to be educated and held accountable.
Does anyone know if Rin is OK? They're another one I always wondered about.
@@xotbirdox yes rin is fine! he has twitter and still has his insta!
@@junkoe119 im not....its fact
@@junkoe119 ❄️
Isn’t Rin a r*pe apologists though? I thought that there was a huge uproar over their partner assaulting someone a few years ago.
I would have realized i was agender like a year ago if i wasn't watching his content and leaving snarky comments on neoronoun posts and non trans medicalist trans people posts
i tried to be a “good ally” for so long before realizing i was learning about my ow community. and unfortunately, i watched kalvin and blaire. so now i have to reteach myself, and i even have to reteach my mom because i was sharing their bullshit with her.
due to him i thought neopronouns = bad
now i use xe/xym and find it quite comforting actually
@@maxhasproblems4885 hey, if you don't mind, could you tell me how someone would pronounce xe/xym pronuons?
@@rf0656 no problem! i basically just use xym(pronounced zim) as a replacement for him or her, xe(zee) as a replacement for he/she, and xyr(zare)as a replacement for his/hers
@@rf0656 pronounce them like "zee" and "zim"
Kalvin Garrah and Blaire White stop gatekeeping the trans community challenge
Lol
can someone please explain to me who the f*ck this "Blaire White" person is?
challenge failed 😔
@@catonfire5010 go watch her content for yourself