How to Disagree Respectfully
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- Опубліковано 5 лип 2024
- To master the art of conversation, we have to learn how to disagree respectfully and this video teaches three steps and lets you practice. After hearing statements you will probably disagree with. With these tips, you can master the art of conversation respectful disagreement.
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1. Pause. This helps you collect your thoughts and shows the other person that you are not going to jump all over them the first chance you get.
2. Express respect. It's important to show obvious respect for the other person. This helps change your attitude and will soften them to hearing your opinion. In fact, to master the art of conversation, showing respect is a foundational skill. It will help you avoid many communication issues in the first place.
3. Express your own opinion cleanly. Don't add "But," or "However" before your statement. Just give your opinion as if it is not in direct competition with other opinions. In fact, it is not. Multiple viewpoints can exist at the same moment and the world will not stop spinning. Think of it as a discussion, not a debate that you must win. When improving your communication skills and master the art of conversation, you don't really need to debate people very often. You can demonstrate much more positive communication by simply stating your opinion cleanly, not as a counterpoint position.
These three steps have to be done genuinely. They are not a "trick." They simply put your true desire for supportive communication into a helpful format.
Master the Art of Conversation in the rest of this video collection:
Part 1: 3 Key Conversation Skills: • Master the Art of Conv...
Part 2: Asking Good Questions: • How to Ask Good Questi...
Part 3: How to Make Conversation with Anyone: • How to Have a Conversa...
Part 4: How to disagree respectfully: • How to Disagree Respec...
Alex Lyon's Book (Affiliate Link) Case Studies in Courageous Communication: www.amazon.com/gp/product/143...
(Video) Get to know Alex: • Get to know Alex, the ...
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As a creative and a graphic designer, I encounter many moments when people comment on my work and ask for changes more times than I would want to. It is really really frustrating, trust me. Every graphic designer knows this. However, it is something that one has to learn how to handle without being disrespectful. Every single person in the world has a different opinion and see things differently, and we are not obligated to agree. It has happened to me in the past that when people criticize my work or give me their opinions, I just nod and say I agree with them because I am afraid to be irrespecutful and disagree. After watching this video I am planning to apply this method from now on. Pause, think, express my point of view cleanly without setting it up as a conflict. That way I can express my opinions on why I think a design works or why I disagree with their opinions. If I want to be productive, effective communication is essential for everyone. Especially in the workplace. You can successful negotiate your ideas and gain respect among your team members.
Hi Laura. Great example of a daily struggle. Can I offer another tip? I learned this from a friend. When somebody says something critical and I disagree with it, I say, "Tell me more of your thinking on that." That makes them feel heard, which is very respectful, and gives me time to process their opinion and form a response. I've seen very composed communicators do this in really high-pressure situations. "Tell me more of your thinking on this." Then after you've thoroughly listened to them, you are all set up to say, "Here is my thinking on why I think this works." Again, thanks for the comment. I appreciate your point of view.
Laura, as a writer I have experienced exactly what you are describing during workshop sessions--the struggle is real! I find that when it comes to incorporating people's feedback, it is important to practice some level of selectivity. Listening to everyone's take is important, but this does not mean that every suggestion you receive should be implemented. That's when Alex Lyon's advice in this video comes in handy, for when you need to disagree with someone, and also preserve the relationship/business partnership.
I completely agree with your response Laura! We all have different opinions and see things different and if we disresppect others just because we may not agree with them it can cause us problems in the workplace. It was nice to see that this video will help you in future situations with your job position. It is important to always respect those we work with so that we can keep a positive atmosphere. You never know, everyones disagreements can make bigger ideas for future plans and help out a company.
I agree that many people who ask for our services for completing a work are very disrespectful when they do not like it; they just criticize and could harm other people's feelings and doubt about their abilities. That's why it is important to have an open mind when you hire someone for doing a work because not everyone has the same vision of a specific thing. It is important to tolerate and understand the point of view of others; and if you don't like the work, it is important to express it in a very respectful way.
My partner is a graphic design major at the University of Florida, and engaging with her in sensitive conversations such as political ideals is a lot different from critiquing her work. My point is this might deviate in all fields of business, I'm just glad there are people in the world such as yourself i can expose myself to and gain practice.
This video has made me look confrontational situations and disagreements from a different perspective. The third step: “express opinion cleanly” was something I hadn’t really thought of before. It’s difficult to respond to a statement you don’t agree with, without using rebuttal words such as “however” and “but”. I now will use the pause to think about how I will respond.
Same here cpena057, it is has given me a different perspective on how I communicate with others. Pausing is going to help everyone when they do try to respond, hope this video finds everyone else well. Thank you again Mr. Lyon.
Using the pause not only allow us to take a moment to think and regroups ourselves just like our thoughts, but we also avoid the dreaded "but" or "however" that could impose a negative impact upon the conversation and it may prevent the audience to be continue to have an open mind and a positive perspective.
I have had to use this step so many times at work that now it just comes second nature to me. I realized early on that words such as "however" and "but" already get the other persons arguement muscles engaged as well. Taking a pause thinking about how I will respond has helped me very much.
before watching the video I also felt the difficulty of responding to a statement i did not agree with, and also agree with the use of a pause before doing so.
I completely agree with your statement. Typically, rebuttal words are used to prove the fallacy of an argument, therefore the other person might take said words in a defensive manner. Instead of immediately lashing out, one should pause for a few moments and restructure our thoughts into more positive ones.
My biggest goal in conversation is not to degrade or alienate the other person, but I feel like I often do that because I’ve never had any other tools to use during communication. This video helped me change my mindset toward communication. The goal shouldn’t be to “be right”. Thank you!
Hello Diana, I too found that this video makes me change my mindset about how I communicate in my personal and professional life. I like how you mentioned that your biggest goal in conversation is not to degrade or alienate the other person when communicating. I would like to think that most people never intentionally do this, but I know sometimes we may accidentally do so by using words that can be taken the wrong way. The tools in this video are great for helping us take a look at the way we communicate, and reminding us to take a second to pause so that we can think about the words we will use to express ourselves. I also like how he explains that we need to be sure to appreciate the other persons input before stating our own. I know that I will be making more of an effort in the future to communicate with others rather than accidentally turning it into a debate, and like you mentioned, the goal shouldn't be to "be right", and we should all be able to have our opinions appreciated.
Wow! The moment I disagree with you, I noticed my heart pounds so fast and I lost my words. Thanks for these 3 steps. I’m going to use them in my conversations for sure.
I couldn’t agree more. I’ll use these steps too in my conversations. The three steps are very useful for building relations and avoiding fights in disagreements among team members.
Yes! It's hard not to lose your cool when in disagreement with someone. I think it was a great idea to make "Pause" the very first step in the video for that very reason 😂
I find it incredible to read the way you noticed this concepts affect while learning. Holding your head high and knowing that you and your colleague have successfully exchanged opinions, shows two individuals that are intelligent and eloquent.
The hidden gem I found in this video is the word “Respect.” It is important to let the other person know that you respect their opinion even if you are not agreeing completely. It is important to avoid using words like “but” or “however” because it can cause values or opinions to feel disregarded and not listened to.
Hello Sarah! On top of using these tips to communicate your disagreement we also have to take into consideration how the other person is feeling. It's crazy to me that specific words could devalue someones opinion or input, but learning how to respect their them can make a huge impact on that person or team.
Sarah! I love your comment about the hidden gem being "respect." We tend to disagree so easily- however fail to incorporate the respect factor. I love that the video gave step by step examples on how to maintain respect when disagreeing. For example, the speaker explains to state "I respect what you have to say, I believe differently because.."
I agree with your observation, respect is the hidden gem in this video. Even though you do not agree with someone else view, it is vital to respond in a respectable manner for the conversation to be constructive.
I agree with what you have said. It is important for people to show respect even if you disagree with someone. It shows that you are coming off in a professional manner when you show respect to both sides.
I totally agree! Respect is the most important part of the communication process. Nobody can force anyone to think a certain way and there's also no right or wrong opinion. When there's respect in a conversation there is also trust and this creates a safe space where there can be effective communication.
I think videos and ideas like this are extremely important for my generation to learn. People don't have conversations anymore, they just argue. They also focus on ways to demean the other person rather than using facts to make a point. If my generation does not learn these vital lessons it will progress for our society as a whole nearly impossible.
Hi, James. Yes, a life lesson indeed. Thanks for your feedback.
Hi James,
I definitely agree with you on this topic. Our generation needs to learn to instead of argue and cut each other off, they need to speak and listen. It's important to not think you're always right and that it's fine if there is a difference of opinion. This is something we must push on in today's society.
James,
I agree with your comment. People nowadays always resort to yelling and arguing when someone does not agree with their opinion. Belittling them, name calling, and mentioning irrelevant details is the "norm" now. We have forgotten to listen to others opinions and show them respect, even when our opinions don't match. We need to show others respect, similarly to how we want respect shown to us.
Attacking and demeaning the other person is never good or productive for a conversation. Using facts and rhetoric is far more important and effective. We have to give the other person the space to take in our ideas and really process them. And this might not a problem of just our generation. There are plenty of older people who refuse to listen and really consider what the other person is saying.
I agree. Our generation is constantly arguing over different opinions. Its better to state facts and remain respectful of the other persons thoughts.
I didn't realize how important communication effectively was until I came across this channel!! I'm very thankful for this content and the knowledge shared in order to move forward by putting it into practice and helping better ourselves and relationships in doing so. I use these videos to help me with coparenting and going to Dr offices with my daughter and her dad. These videos help me to feel more prepared for these stressful encounters.
This video is really helpful for improving effective communication in teams. I think the hardest part is listening without interruptions especially when you completely disagree with an opinion.
This is such a great way to show how to express your thoughts not only in the workplace, but everywhere. There are many times where we may feel like we're unable to disagree with someone because we may think it's disrespectful. This video helps show us how we can use our voice and point of view to disagree appropriately. I’m going to try to use this way of disagreeing because I work in a school and the PTO, many times I feel like there’s a clash of ideas, and everyone feels like they can never voice their opinion because they don’t want to come off as rude. This video has really helped show how you can show someone respect while disagreeing with them.
The first advice to pause is really helpful for people to express your opinions without disrespecting the other party. This video has provided so much knowledge when it comes to having a disagreement respectfully.
I remember one time having a discussion with a classmate during my sophomore year of college. The debate began with a very calm and respectful tone, but as it progressed, you could feel the emotions intensifying between us. I began to use the tips provided above, since I heard someone mention them in a Ted talk. My classmate, on the other hand, did not use such tips and I remember that the whole class began to back me in the argument, simply because I was coming off as a more respectful individual. These tips work wonders!
Hi Felipe, I believe that your approach to replying to your classmate was the most professional approach. I believe that small things like this help shape your persona into a respectful one.
The best thing to do in a situation as the one you’ve described, is to pause, allow yourself to think and respond with something positive and respectful. Clean expression that does not create conflict.
Hey Felipe. I share the same experience as you do. In college sometimes debates get a little bit too intense. People even start shouting because they are consumed with anger and stress, and because they don't like to be contradicted. These tips really help primary students to learn how to deal with such situations not only in a college classroom but also outside in the real world.
I've been in the same situation as the one you stated above and it is true that taking the respectful way always ends up benefiting the person who took it. Instead of letting emotions run high, being respectful gets the disagreement moving in a professional way without directly insulting or hurting someone else's opinions or views. It is so important to take into practice the tips that were given in this video as it can be seen that they work in almost all situations for the best.
yes most of the time when you pause, listen, think and wait for them to finish their idea, you are going to come out with a greater point of view and probably better argument than the one that they explained you but making sure that you explain your point without attacking or taking their point of view down.
Communication is key! In the sales industry, I am constantly interacting with various types of people. Your ability to communicate effectively is key to your success. By changing the way you listen, you can turn an argument into a healthy and positive discussion.
Communication is everything nowadays. You must make sure you get your point across clearly to whomever you're speaking to. Just as important is to refine your ability to really hear others out and get a beneficial discussion going where ideals are exchanged and their is as little confusion as possible.
Hi Adrienne. Thank you for your input on this.
Hi Nicholas,
Great point! Communication is a two way street and requires you to look both ways before crossing. Learning to get your point across effectively without the use of degenerative language such as the commonly used word "BUT" is just as important as refining your listening skills to understand and appreciate another person's point of view. Too often many people are concerned with respecting and valuing another perspective and so they fail to convey their message in a powerful way. Using degenerative words and improper body language can really detract from getting your point across in a powerful and effective way.
Even though these concepts should be common human courtesy, they're easy concepts to practice. Lyon preaches pausing so that our brains have a few seconds to process information before jumping into making a potentially ignorant comment. You can still leave a conversation "agreeing to disagree" while showing appreciation for the other person's opinion. Totally agree that effective communication is key...not just in business, but all aspects of life.
The power of listening first is a key to success in sales and business development. To your point, listening helps us as individuals to understand each other and put out the reasons for our beliefs and decisions. Keep on listening!
This form of disagreement is very useful and avoids conflict.
I used this technique last week when debating with one of my colleagues. My colleague started talking about some very controversial political topics. I could feel that my blood was starting to boil. As a result, rather than raising my voice or agreeing with his opinions, I decided to pause and collect my thoughts. After about two seconds of silence, I told the colleague that I respect and his opinions. Then I said, I think that protestors should of done XY and Z instead. I also made numerous points of how the controversial political topic was an infringement on democracy and the implications of that threat.
Thank you for your amazing UA-cam video.
As a supervisor for an aviation company I believe this video can easily be applied to my work life and it is an excellent skill to learn and develop. You could never go wrong using this method when you are in a disagreement with someone. It is the perfect way to keep things calm, civil, and work friendly. I have used this in the past and will continue to use it with my team at work as it helps me stay cool, collected, and respond respectfully as everyone should always be treated. It is impossible to always agree and see eye to eye with everyone so it is important to know how to communicate with others when in a disagreement.
I agree there has to be a more delicate way to handle disagreements without letting your emotions get the best of you and create hate. Saying that you believe the person is experienced, for example, before expressing your disagreements really helps the person understand that you are not just trying to push their buttons. Listening does really help in communicating respectfully and gracefully.
Expressing your disagreement is always tricky as you never know how people will take what you say. I agree that listening does help. Being respectful for the start and letting people know you value what they have to say, is a great way to start a discussion.
Exactly, that is one of the hard parts of disagreeing, not knowing how the person will take your comment even though you said it respectfully. Some people do not care about how you word your comments, they just care about what you say, and if you don't agree with their point of view, they will not have a filter, they wont pause and they will not respect your opinion. However, it is better to not let your feelings get the worst of you during these situations.
After watching this video, I looked into my past difficult conversations and noticed that no matter how right both views were, both parties felt the constant need to be heard over the other. If this method had been applied, feelings may not have been hurt and both parties may have even gained insight on the different perspectives being shared. Furthermore, I agree that listening is the key to communicating with grace and that this method is a more delicate way of handling tough conversations.
What you point out is so important! I believe that in every argument most people just want to feel heard, as nothing is more frustrating than realizing you're wasting your breath. No disagreement is productive if both sides aren't willing to be slightly openminded and actually considering another viewpoint. Especially if your ultimate goal is to sway another's opinion, they're far more likely to do so in an environment where they don't feel attacked or stupid for the opinion they have.
This is so true! I can relate to this on so many levels because I have noticed a significant difference in how smooth a conversation can go when you express your disagreement but acknowledge the persons experience or expertise.
I will try this technique with my husband next time he talks to me. I think that Donald Trump has mastered this technique. He always starts with a positive statement, and then he shoots the bomb. However, President Trump does not show respect for people that disagree with him. Most sale people have mastered this technique. For me, the hardest part is the pause. Most people talk from their feeling that is why it is hard to argue with them. Showing respect is part of my personality, and I focus on the good part of people. When the conversation gets heated, I look the person in the eyes and make my point clear with examples. I use the words “but” and “however” often. What I think is part of a learned technique. I am wondering about changing it and improve my way to disagree respectfully!
Hi, Eneida. I hope it works well for you. Good luck!
Great point Eneida, I also am guilty of using those words when trying to make a point. Pausing is the hardest part to change as it's an internal dialogue. This will definitively take lots of practice but well worth the effort. These are skills that will apply to multiple areas of life and in everyday interactions.
I agree, Donald Trump is definitely an individual who does not respect the opinions of other. Looking at the video and watching the behavior of Trump, it is evident that it is more positive to use the steps in the video in order to create positive interactions with others and create connections.
Hi Eneida! I agree with you, I am guilty of using the word "but" a lot in conversations when I disagree. I try to pause and really listen to the other person to understand where they're coming from, and usually it helps unless I'm in a heated conversation. That makes pausing harder than it already is. Once you learn to have patience to be able to pause and understand them, I think it would make your life less stressful! I'm still working on this as well!
These techniques can work in a lot of ways such as in your case with your husband you may be having a hard time talking to him, conversations may escalate so pausing, respecting the other persons opinion can be a couple things that may help in conversing with someone.
While watching your video I realized how easy it is to let your anger overcome you when someone does not agree with something you say. I work in a company that constantly works as a team to make sure our sales increase, which makes you understand there may be disagreements more than you think. These three steps can be useful at my job because they can prevent an argument and an embarrassing conversation that would be tough to have. It's difficult to be respectful when you believe your opinion is a priority which makes this video a lot more interesting to me. Thank you for sharing these steps I will be sure to take these into account next time I face a disagreement.
This video is an eye opener and showed how to disagree is a respectful manner. It broke down the process into three parts: pause, express respect, and express your opinion. I have caught myself several times to interrupt someone before they finish their thought. Also, when I do not agree with someone I do use negative filler words and this video gave me an alternative that I will now try to put into practice. Recently, I had a disagreement with my mother and interrupted her half way through her argument and did not give her time to express her thoughts. Instead, I interrupted her and immediately began to disagree with her. Listening to others and respecting their opinions is a proper thing to do and shows respect.
Lmao I'm watching this so i can disagree with her without "disrespecting" her
Hahaha this is golden. In all seriousness though this is a very useful skill that you could use in everyday life such as disagreeing with parents or with a boss. It's important to try not to offend people especially in this day in age.
You jest but it is an important quality to have. When people perceive disrespect they are unlikely to hear what you have to say.
Even though it sounds simple, I think the first step is something that many people overlook. Cutting some one off mid conversation or expressing your own opinion immediately may come off as aggressive. It's also possible that you would've agreed with the other person's opinion if you hadn't cut their conversation so short. This resonated with me the most because I am usually conscious about listening to what other people have to say.
I concur that to disagree without showing disrespect is a vital skill. I have previously encountered in a debate setting. It was a moderated environment where students had to offer opinions on the selected topics. By adhering to the principles such as posing and listening, I was easy to conduct a scholarly conversation which was helpful for everyone that attended the function. Great work. I like it.
Alex,
As a boss of a small company, I strongly agree with your method of respectfully disagreeing with another person. Often we find ourselves trying to be “the winner” in every argument and this can lead to an uncivil argument. It is essential to give others an opportunity to express their opinion and to pause and give consideration to their argument and to your reply. This is a great video for professionals of all levels to watch and take notes on.
This is something I have never given much thought. Whenever I"ve disagreed with someone, I've always tried to be respectful, but I always included the 'but' and 'however' when stating my contradicting opinion, something that I've learned today is not the way to disagree with someone respectfully, since it discourages them. This video truly helped me learn and practice when disagreeing with people respectfully, it changed my mentality and allowed me to be more aware of the other person's feelings when contradicting their opinion.
This video should be circulated on all social media platforms! I, myself, have experienced disagreements that have led to intense arguments in the past where any sign of respect was thrown out that window. This video definitely put in perspective how I should respond in scenarios where I can disagree respectfully. I think expressing respect is key to show that the opinion of the other person matters, even if you disagree.
I agree that this video should be circulated, I believe its important that many people learn to get a point across without disrespecting each other. This can help unite people and can also help you or someone approach a topic a different way
Hi Alex, I could not agree more with the points you have made in this video! I work as the front desk at a Pilates Studio and I have had my fair share of disagreements with clients. Pausing before I explain something to an unhappy client is helpful to me because it gives me time to gather my thoughts calmly before conveying the point of view I am trying to get across to the customer so that I do not appear to be coming off as rude or impatient. It is also always important to be sympathetic and respectful especially when there is nothing you can do to help them. As long as you are listening, they know that their opinion matters and it makes them rethink escalating the disagreement.
The advice to offer one's opinion, not as a rebuttal, but rather "cleanly" is fantastic advice. This is to not illicit defensive behavior from the other party. Great advice.
The way you mentioned that the technique of not "sneakily scoring points" but instead approaching a genuine behavior modification regarding listening, definitely resonated with me. It is important truthfully analyze other peoples' point of view, it can be a positive experience for both parties. Listening skills are definitely important and will be something to implement the next time I converse with a superior in the office setting.
Nowadays when applying you are conducting a job search, we find that a company in search of someone with "Effective Communication" soft skills. This type of skill can mean an umbrella of things. But when it comes to disagreeing, knowing how to respectfully, is not a skill that everyone has. But it is a skill that can be taught. This 7-minute video has definitely had me thinking about how many arguments I could have avoided if I had knowledge of this information earlier in my professional career. With this newfound information, I will conduct myself much better when engaging with others.
Hello Alex Lyon,
Finding a way to disagree politely in a professional way is a real hidden gem to discover. I am a person that struggles to say no or have any sort of negative confrontation with people. Showing respect to the individual is essential to professionally disagree and have open-minded conservation. Thank you for sharing, I will definitely use this advice in real life.
I have been working in the hospitality industry for about 3 years now and I have used these tips multiple times in situation at work. It can be a difficult situation if you are unsure how to disagree in respectful matter. These tips have helped me ease situations with guest who were upset or not pleased with something and as well express my opinion with others at work if I don't agree with something.
When I used to work in a corporate setting, you don't always consider how and when to respond to things at which you disagree. Most or all of the time, it's a quick reply like "No, I don’t think that right” Now with Coach Lyon’s method the Pause, Express opinion clearly it is mind blowing. Viewing this video enabled me to learn a new approach and are great options to pause and reflect before communicating.
These 3 steps have really helped me realize that there is a way to disagree respectfully, but it takes two to tango. In past experiences, people have had a hard time disagreeing on certain topics on things and go about things the wrong way. I can blame myself as well on certain topics that I have caused an issue at time and I feel everyone still struggles with this and it’s something we all have to work on together. Some topics may be controversial and people tend to be very passionate in their beliefs and that is probably the main reason why people disagree in the disrespectful ways that they do.
Mr. Lyon, i would like to being by thanking you for such a courteous and proper video on how to respectfully disagree with others. The section of the video I resonated with the most was when you were detailing the third step as it is something I tend to struggle with in my current work setting. It is very important to me to always be respectful and courteous, therefore, I have a difficult time presenting my opposing opinion. I will take your tip and apply to my day-to-day and ensure I remember to stray away from words like "But" and "However" as I tend to use a lot when arguing a point. Thank you again for taking the time to post such an informative video.
The three steps provided to disagree with someone respectfully will help myself and many others in the future after viewing this instructive video. The portion of the video I agreed most with was the first step which is to "Pause." Coach Lyon mentioned a great point that taking 3 to 4 seconds to allow yourself to think after hearing someone else's opinion will be more than enough time to articulate the correct response while being respectful in the process.
As a salesman, understanding and applying all principles covered in this video is vital. I have been able to put this into practice but never have seen such a well-explained breakdown on how to properly do it. I like to think that when disagreeing with someone, I tend to express respect and then express my own opinion. But the part when one needs to pause is essential because liked highlighted in the video, it gives your mind a few seconds to process the most correct response at that given time. Forcing you to listen to them. This is something of high value I learned from this video and will be applying in my life.
I defiantly agree with you I have to also started practicing this process. Its kind of difficult but as you work on it you will get Better at it. The part I am working on is expressing my opinion clearly. The way you could do that is make sure everybody hear you and you are clear at your statement
Hey there alex!
That point you made about getting your point across cleanly is so underrated nowadays! That professional development tips I think might be the ones I agree with the most because its not used that much in my professional life. I am a graphic designer and usually superiors, clients, or even myself cant focus on using the correct words to communicated changing something in a project, or giving constructive feedback. It's so important in the professional world to be able to give feedback without having to smash the other person's ideas. I will definitely be using the word however instead of but. Game changer for sure!
Mr. Lyon, this video teaches such an important lesson for people like me who are going into the business world where you have to communicate with different people everyday, deal with differences in opinion and so much more. Your three steps make it much easier for viewers to really grasp how to deal with disagreements. In my field of business, Marketing, I will definitely be needing those three steps in order to discuss with clients, other businesses, and people in my own place of work in order to make sure that, although we may not agree, we can still respect each other and be professional.
We all have disagreements with others, in or out of the workplace. I found this video to be very helpful as it helps to communicate our opinions in a respectful way. I use the first step almost everyday and it does make a huge difference. Instead of answering quick and trying to shut down the other person's ideas, you give them a chance to speak and maybe even be more calm when you disagree. Growing up with a sister, this step saved us from a lot of fights. Thanks for the video!
The concept I have experienced in the past from this video is struggling to disagree respectfully. I feel as though we all struggle with this when we get angry or frustrated. My parents own a a business so it’s harder to work with family and disagree. All employees of their business are family, so when we disagree we don’t say our thoughts as respectfully as we should. This video gave me insight on how to work on this and become better. I learned that if you pause and think about what you are going to say, then you can avoid disagreeing in a disrespectful way.
I have also found myself in similar situations working with family and having trouble disagreeing respectfully. Since your relationship with one another have a different dynamic than a normal work environment, you are quicker to express yourself without thinking of the impact it may have on the other person. Slowing yourself down and thinking about how you may be coming across as disrespectful really does help in situations like these!
Learning how to disagree with someone respectfully is such a great tool to have. Prior to watching this video, I thought that I was already a master at this. I helped launch an active listening initiative in high-school, and learning these skills was a big part of the curriculum. However, when you started expressing opinions that would purposefully agitate, I found myself wanting to react without pausing, and respecting your point of view. Watching this video was a great refresher, and helped me identify some changes I need to make in how I react.
This video was great at addressing the topic of disagreeing respectfully in simple, yet professional terms. The three steps are pause, express respect, are express your opinion cleanly. A concept in this video that I have actually experienced in the past in real life is the first step that coach Alex Lyon mentions is to pause when you hear something you don't agree with. I always pause when I hear something that I don't agree with because I am giving myself a second to analyze exactly why I do not agree with what they are saying and I am giving myself time to explain respectfully why I disagree. This video made it clear that pausing is a productive concept.
Hello Zoe,
I agree with you on pausing being a productive concept. Pausing is just something you should always do to not come off as a rude person. I also agree with you in how the video does a great job in addressing the respectful way to disagree with someone.
Mr. Alex you are right, these three tips are essential to be able to work as a team. Making a pause is very important for me and it is something that I practice a lot, since I work serving people. When people tell me things that I don't like, or that I would rather not listen to, I pause and take a deep breath. I don’t like to create tense situations, therefore I always try to show respect. I feel really connected with this video and I will continue working on my communications skills, since being a respectful person is one of the keys to be able to progress in any job.
As a teenager in high school, I know for a fact I did not use these three steps when exchanging ideas and points of views with my peers. I wanted to get my point across and prove them wrong when discussing, mainly regarding politics. As I've matured both personally and spiritually, I now exchange my thoughts with others in a much more respective manner. Pausing and expressing respect go hand in hand. Being able to also agree to disagree respectfully and finding common ground is the key to having productive discussion. Learning even the most minimal thing from a conversation in which you completely disagree can benefit how you deal with future disagreements. Great tips!
Watching this video there's one point you made that I never really considered before. Whenever I disagree with people I normally just jump right into how I feel and never say things like "I hear your point...". Now watching this video I now know that I should pause and then express respect before saying how I feel. Doing it that way I will feel more respectful and will be able to recognize what the other person is trying to say.
The way that Coach Lyon explains this is just perfect. Specifically in the business field, individuals tend to be dismissive when they hear something that goes against their opinion or beliefs. While one may not agree, being respectful and hearing out another peer's points and advice towards a project is the professional way to carry out this manner. Like this, next time the individual will not feel uncomfortable when sharing his opinions in an argument.
I fully agree with you. Dismissiveness can affect not only work but also personal relationships. this can cause others to hide their own authenticity in order to please others which can conclude in fake relationships and a feelings of not being whole. I think these tips are great for any aspect of your life!
Dismissive is absolutely the correct term to use. People are afraid to speak up or butt heads with people in higher positions than them. This holds the company back to hearing new ideas or better ways to conduct business.
As someone who currently works in the customer service industry and is also looking to follow a career path into the financial advising business, this video has given me a lot of insight on how to better my communication skills, not only in my personal life but my professional one as well. The point that Mr. Lyon makes when disagreeing with someone to express respect is something that I feel would help benefit my communication skills the most in my professional life; mostly because all my life I’ve never had the respect shown to me that I feel should’ve been in a professional environment. Therefore this is something that I hope to execute the most in the future when working in my chosen career to show others the respect that I never was.
Videos like this are important in helping students learn how to communicate properly in the workplace. As someone that works as a marketing assistant, it can be frustrating to feel misunderstood when sharing new concepts. It can be difficult to handle when your ideas are turned down, however, it was important for me to remain calm and respectful. Everyone has a different set of opinions and learning that even if your opinion wasn't considered it is not any less valuable. It has happened to me in the past and it can definitely happen to me in the future where my ideas/work will be turned down or criticized. Learning to communicate your ideas well and respect others' opinions will allow you to gain trust and respect in the workplace.
"Pause", I believe that is the most important step out of the three. I believe one of the biggest issues we all face when disagreeing with somebody is that we tend to interrupt the other person to state our opinion. This is a habit I, unfortunately, have partaken in. This video has shown me that it only takes 3-4 seconds to stop and listen to the other person so that I am able to respond intelligently and respectfully. I will also put into practice the habit of cutting out the words 'but' and 'however' when discussing, which is a practice that will help me while discussing business negotiations with future clients. Thank you for the tips Coach Alex!
Hi Jorge, I enjoyed reading your comment. I too have partaken in interrupting people the moment they are speaking as well. I think it has to do with the fact that you have your message and you just want to get it across already. For me, I know it has to do with the fact that I am inpatient.
I discovered that this is a huge quality for any person . From the three rules in the video, the one that stands apart the most to me is the first. During a discussion wherein you can't help contradicting the other individual, having that second to delay for a second is significant. In my opinion it is the hardest thing to keep control on
It is a huge quality in a person. When couples fight its back and forth nothing gets resolved. Will Smith said, when a fight is about to breakout go to a different area cool off and then discuss the problem at hand. His method is a lot like the pause to collect your thoughts. It's hard to do, but benefits everyone in the long run.
Hi Alex, thank you so much for sharing this video with us. I currently work in a team every day in which we constantly have to come up with ideas and I constantly find it difficult to communicate accordingly while someone is disagreeing. I have never experienced a pause or respect when having these conversations, but now that I've listened to your video I can put these tips to practice. They will help me to better communicate with my colleagues to express ourselves clearly without having an argument.
Coach Alex Lyon, great tips on how to disagree respectfully. This material is a perfect example how I have applied my differences and arguments with my co-workers. I work with a team of Engineers and we all have different opinions and approaches to certain topics discussed, and sometimes it gets out of hand when we all share our opinions. Step 1, pausing, I have used when getting into these exchanges, and it has definitely worked on my favor. It's worked so much, that they have approached this method and our debates have gone a lot smoother.
I have been in plenty of situations where I have disagreed with another individual. This video really helped with making sure the conversation always ends respectfully and with no bad blood.
As someone in a management position, I have been a position in which a customer has disagreed or has been disrespectful towards an employee or myself. In this video, Alex mentions expressing my opinion cleanly. Essentially what he means by this is being able to communicate my opinion without leaving the other person feeling as they're opinion are being invalidated. This advice is something that I can apply to my professional life as well as my personal life.
Coming across this video was very much needed. I feel like I learned a lot from this 7 minute video. Working with people, you hear a lot of things that you would sometimes need to bite your tongue on. I have difficulty doing that. My face says it all. I am working on that and these three steps (Pause, express respect, express your opinion cleanly) will help me improve in how I react when someone has a different opinion. Although I was raised to respect everyone's opinions, as I get older, I can't seem to help not agreeing with most people's opinions. I know I will encounter this in joy professional career, therefore I ma thankful to have came across a video that might make it easier.
Hi Coach Alex, this video is packed with a great number of hidden gems. The first being to express respect, when disagreeing with someone, usually people do not do this. As you mentioned, the main response would be “however” or “but”, rather than saying “I respect your opinion” and so forth. Incorporating the activities in the video was great practice on how to develop positive communication. Changing the way I disagree with people’s opinions will be a great tool especially as a business owner.
The 3 steps to have pleasant discussions and supportive communication presented by Alex are so helpful to me in the working environment. I feel I need to put more attention to avoid saying “however” or “but” so that no negative connotation is transferred to the receptor. I am constantly dealing with clients who expect and deserve appreciation and attention. It is so rewarding when clients feel they have been listened to and taken care of. The “pause, express respect, and express opinion cleanly” steps are not difficult habits that every individual would greatly benefit from.
I had the same thought when watching this video. I also think that if more people took these tips into consideration it would make for more peaceful discussions, more understanding, and just in general quicker and clear communication in which both can leave the conversation happy and understood.
In many of my past and present experiences, both professionally and personally, I have developed and practiced the three steps mentioned in this video. I find them to be helpful guidelines for communication in multiple settings. I agree that although there are only three steps, they can be challenging to accomplish every time you are trying to communicate differences of opinion. The part of this video that resonated with me the most is when Alex Lyon says it is a way to change the way you listen. It was a reminder for me, that there are two parts to effective communication, Listening and Responding. Often times one forgets to listen and instead focuses solely on the response, missing much of the information and growth that comes from effective communication and exchange of ideas.
Elena I absolutely agree with you in this! Lots of discussions happen or become worse because we don't listen to what others have to say and instead throw out our own opinion out to them. As a consequence none of the discussers listen to each others opinions and the discussion turns into an argument.
Through time and work experience, habits are taken which help one to have a better perception of listening to other people, the most important thing is to carry out the 3 steps underlined in the video to have better communication and power share different ideas and opinions.
Elena your comments align with my thought process. I think people are listening to reply, instead of listening to understand the other person's point of view. Also, at times, we are listening and thinking of solutions or what to answer when we do not understand the issue fully because we were not active listening to the other party.
Working at a diverse company made me a calmer person and I learned the concept of disagreeing respectfully a long time ago. I agree with all the three steps that were mentioned in the video, especially the one that says pause and think about one's response. sometimes when we argue we forget the other side and ignore completely their opinion, sometimes we think they have a valid point but we automatically disagree. A pause will give us a second to process information and respond with respect, acknowledging others' opinions.
Out of all 3 steps "Express respect" was the one that resonated most with me. I had grown knowing to pause before giving an opinion or answer and I believe that most people at least try to do the same. But the step 2 is the perfect connector that keeps discussing a topic from arguing. I work in the area of International Business and I keep contact with people from Asia and Israel mostly. Both cultures base their societies on respect, so this 3 steps will become my primary tool during product negotiations and marketing strategies.
I love how he created a disagreeable/agreeable scenario at the end. Clever
Working with other or in groups is a very common experience in the professional work place and this video provides an excellent guide for how best to navigate in these scenarios. I often work in groups at school and have had lots of situation in which I want to disagree with my peers. The 3-step process to maintaining positive communication by pausing, showing respect, and then expressing your opinion provides an excellent medium to continue being productive while disagreeing. I also really appreciate and find it very important how the speaker clarified that using technique is not a gimmick to one-up somebody but actually a means to listening better. I think this should be the message that everyone should take away from this and acknowledge that working with a group sometimes involves compromising.
I have found that “expressing your opinion cleanly” has applied directly to my professional marketing career on several occasions. As I have progressed through higher positions at larger companies, this concept has become critical to professional communication. Pausing, appreciating their opinion, then cleanly stating your own is an excellent tool to prevent the “smashing” of ideas as you put it.
Exactly. Probably the best thing to do is make a stop, listen to the answer the person is giving you and then decide whether or not to engage in a debate, considering the situation you are in.
I've been working on these techniques for a long time not only for my job but for every interaction I have with friends, coworkers, partner, neighbors, even someone in the same room that I just met. I can honestly say that they work! When you act with respect and grace you automatically have a strong argument. Thank you for this great video!
Hi Glenda,
It is quite difficult for us to try to have assertive communication because we want to be understood and we express it in inappropriate ways. When these situations arise mainly in our companies, we do not accept the disagreements of the opposites or try to digest that information and the result is not that positive conversation. Awesome thinking!
As a band member, a student working in group projects, and an American citizen living in a heavily polarized political climate; I find myself in disagreement often. It is very important to disagree respectfully if you want to have a productive conversation. I believe the tools Coach Alex Lyon shares about waiting and listening before responding from a state of reactivity is a golden lesson related to mindfulness and humility!
Couldn't agree with you more. Now more than ever you have to be mindful of how conversations are going. Everyone is tense and want to be heard. We must remain respectful of others opinions at all times.
After watching this video I noticed I subconsciously use this 3-step method when I disagree with somebody. This approach inspired me to become an involved listener, and to learn to disagree with others politely. This provides a safe atmosphere where everyone is able to voice their views and listen to others.
Alex, I truly loved your video and there are many things that I have taken into account in order to better my communication skills in my professional life. For example, the second step of the three which is showing respect is something that people pretend to do and shows disrespect to the other person whom has a disagreement with you. If someone does it to me, I would take it as the other person is only involved for their self interest & will disobey my disagreements behind my back. They will pretend to praise me only to devalue me more after pretending to express my opinion. These three steps is something that I had to learn to use with my position of store manager & it definitely helps relaying messages in the workplace while ensuring a happy work environment for them.
As an impulsive individual who is quick to retort, this video definitely opened my eyes to being more calm and respectful when disagreeing strongly. I never considered reassuring an individual that I "hear where [they] are coming from" or that I respect them as a person, but after watching, I realize it's important to honor everyone even if you do share dissimilar views or opinions. Also, I tend to interrupt when I feel my point needs to be made, but the whole routine of "pausing" to formulate my rebuttal or comment more cleanly and positive is extremely useful and I will for sure try this next time I disagree with someone!
Communication and how to approach disagreements with others in the work environment is something important to learn and I had put it into practice a lot of times in my job. I am a salesperson and coordinating with my coworkers how to approach the market and different strategies to create sales is something that generates a lot of differences between us. Haring what the other has to say and expressing my opinion respectfully without attacking the other person's opinion help to have a more clear and productive workspace where everyone contributes and helps achieve the goal we are aiming for. This video is great to identifying those skills that sometimes we don't use in conversations like this one. Great, thank you for sharing.
Having to pause and allow the person to speak and be heard is something that I use every day at work. Allowing my coworkers to feel honored and respected has been extremely helpful in innovating and making improvements in my workplace while allowing us all to have healthy disagreements. I would also add that letting the other person know new information that might change their perspective should be said in a respectful manner as to not have the other person feel belittled.
Hi Alex! This video describes half the people nowadays. This generation tends to be impatient, and in consequence, replies comes off disrespectfully. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but that does not give them the right to be impolite. I believe that part of the problem is the lack of empathy and communication skills. Everyone should always listen, make their own opinion based on what they’ve heard, and before saying anything think: “Is my comment a constructive criticism? Is it necessary? Am I being polite?” I’ve started asking myself these questions when having a controversial conversation with people, and it’s been leading to better, well-constructed conversations!
Hi alex!
Thank you very much for creating this video. When having chats with my friends regarding sports, notably comparing basketball players, I have truly experienced "pausing" and "show respect." In the past, I noticed that when both people speak, talk over one other, and disrespect each other's viewpoints, it turns into a discussion, and nobody gets anywhere at the end of the day. I discovered that allowing them to talk, listening to them, and making them feel as if their words meant something made all the difference.
Hi Oliver, I agree so much with your statement. Pausing not only helps with disagreements in the workplace but also in your day to day life. Additionally, this pause acknowledges that you're taking their words in and seriously considering the other's viewpoints not just dismissing them as wrong automatically.
As a supervisor of guest port services, I have encountered my occasions in which I have had to respectful disagree with either our passengers or employees. It is not the easiest task to tell a passenger they will unfortunately not be able to board the ship. In cases like these using the 3 tips Alex Lyon mentions in this video are extremely helpful when having to deliver such news. Although at times our passengers tend to become a bit argumentative with me I am able to keep my composure as well as professionalism by using the 3 tips: pause, express respect, & express opinion clearly.
Hello Mr. Lyon,
I firstly want to mention that I enjoyed your video very much and I took away a lot of positive things from it. Throughout the years, I have partaken in many group activities and debates, and one of the most important things that I found is that you must express your opinions without insulting others. You mentioned this in the video, and you gave some very good ways to introduce new ideas into the conversation without bashing the other side. I have personally used these techniques before, and I can say they allow for a more pleasant and stimulating conversation/discussion. I especially liked how you used a conversation of politics as an example, and you provided the perfect way to introduce a different point of view to the conversation.
Quite the hidden gem I find in this, something unique compared to most other advice giving videos, is giving the time to test out using these three tips in a simulated scenario. I tried it myself and it made me realize that perhaps the most challenging yet most important step is expressing respect because we can be naturally inclined to look down on opinions differing from ours but doing so may be interpreted as looking down on the person with said opinion, leading to a disconnect that can harm a relationship. Anybody can give their opinions and give it strongly, but it takes someone with mental strength to take into consideration opinions that doesn’t necessarily align with theirs and create dialogue that can reach an understanding that enhances a working relationship created via positive communication.
This is something I noticed as well that not many instructors do in videos and it was a refreshing change of pace. This also helps people in the business world have an opportunity to practice before going up to others and having a hard time with the technique or reverting back to their old argument habits.
I believe that expressing opinions respectfully is the most important part in this video and as mentioned it is most definitely becoming an old fashioned thing. Most people tend to not do it purposely but they express their opinion in a matter that makes it seem as if their opinion is better or more accurate. In the business world, it is important to express respect to be sure you have a good relationship with others in order to continue to do business and make connections with others that will be memorable. Expressing respect can go a long way, not just the work place, but in life in general.
I agree with the fact on that the mentioning of the expressing opinions respectfully has turned into a old fashion thing. Now people just interrupt and don't allow others to be able to voice their opinion and speak their mind on how they feel. The just abrupt and speak how they feel with no idea on how the other feel or is saying. Its not done purposely as you said but people need to be able to give that person the opportunity to have a voice and then after the next can share what they have to say.
Thank you for these 3 steps. I had a job interview last week and I used your 3 step communication method and the interview went better than expected. Thank you so much for sharing this valuable information. In addition, I would like to add to the concept discussed that you can not be scared to voice out your humble opinion. Do not hold yourself up. Be you and stay positive at all times.
Congrats and yes I totally loved that you pointed the humble opinion concept. Having open and clear communication with your job, in my opinion, helps you stand out. It shows that you are being authentic which also relates to your elbiglty for a certain position.
I am glad that such interview had a positive outcome. This 3 steps are truly effective when making a great impression is needed. It makes you look smart, patience and very professional.
This is such an important message in the workplace. Often enough, I've had to collaborate with coworkers on a project. No group is going to agree on every aspect of a project. There are going to be disagreements, but I think the most important thing to remember is for members of the group to express respect. As you mentioned, this will help soften the mood and opinions will be heard and taken in easier. I don't know a single soul who works better when they feel they are disrespected. Respect goes a long way.
Hey Jarmecile! I agree with your message completely. Your example of collaborating on group projects is a great way to put use the insightful tips from this video. Demanding and giving respect go hand in hand. Being disrespected, especially by your peers, in a work environment and/or group project makes no space for positive teamwork and overall insensitive characteristics. The tips given throughout this video are perfect for everyday unions and, I believe, should be enforced in all workspaces.
This video is so important in today's context where opinions are so divided on topics like politics. I have found myself in this position before in the workplace. It's so important to pause in these situations. Simply listening to them, and reminding them that you respect their opinion, builds enough rapport for you to express your own, and know the respect should be mutual, if not than your coworker should watch this video! Emotional intelligence will take you a long way in your career.
Hi Alex,
This is something i actually learned in acting classes. Rather than being disrespectful on others opinion by saying "but" we would say "yes and" then add to what could have been better and not look at the negative. Its the best way to add an opinion without being disrespectful to the other person.
Hello Mr. Lyon, thank you for putting this video together. I always knew that disagreements should not be taken as invitations to argue, but I never considered the best ways to avoid conflict when disagreeing with someone. This has inspired me to pause, express respect, and deliver my opinion cleanly when I disagree with someone, especially in the workplace. I think this is a great activity for improving teamwork, and is something I hope to incorporate in future working environments!
As a business owner, I used to struggle to communicate negative feelings. I love using positive reinforcement and reward people for what they do well, but I found myself stuck plenty of times when something was not done correctly. I was scared that I would come off as rude or bossy when guiding people. However, when I learned to disagree respectfully I found that I no longer worried about coming across as rude, because I made sure the other person felt respected and heard at all times. Amazing insights in this video! Thanks for sharing Alex.
As someone who has worked in a management role, I can really resonate with the sentiment of not wanting come across as "rude or bossy" when managing employees or delegating some work. With that said, since I was not the owner of the business, I feel that it can be even more difficult to respectfully disagree with your boss. This video defiantly lays out the foundation of how to approach a difficult situation such as this.
Thank you Alex for making this video! The point you made in regards to pausing before starting anything is a really great point to make. It allows you to fully hear out their point and reduces the chance of you accidentally bring up a response that either isn't fully thought out or was about to be addressed by the other person. And it makes you look more considerate and respectful to the other person within the conversation reducing the chance of the conversation turning into an ugly argument.
I have worked in customer service most of my adult life and while I have used these concepts in the past it is very delightful to know that I am doing it correctly. I wish some of the customers I've met watched this video to have a better understanding of what is so upsetting to them in that moment.
After watching/ listening to this video on how to disagree respectfully, I was able to think about and reflect on my behavior when put into a challenging situation such as so. For me personally, it may be hard at times to bite the bullet and let whoever's speaking to finish so that they could respectfully get their point across without being interrupted which may later lead to confrontation between the two. A certain point in the video that I agree with the most is step #1 which was "pause" because it will force you to listen to that person's point without feeling like to need to jump right in and score some points on the conversation. This tip is extremely helpful because it helps me go into any conversation in a more professional and intelligent manner. Thank you Mr. Lyon for the helpful tips. Hope you have a great day!
Hey Nickolas, I agree with your response and how you stated a great example. It happens the same conflict to me since it is sometimes hard to let the other person finish their comment or opinion. I usually do not like it when they do it to me, so I started to change and now apply these three steps to provide a clear and respectful response in conversation. As a result, one key essential from this video is to avoid using "but or however" since it is not necessary to diminish other people's opinions to state yours. It could be more than one opinion and belief about the same topic.
This is something that I have learned in my current position, we have to give feedback to one another every single day and when there's so many people expressing their opinions and talking, it seems like its a warzone. Every week we have to come up with new ideas that we can develop, but when someone disagrees with another, it seems like they "go at it" defending their opinions with no end in sight. It seems like I was doing these three steps in another way, but I believe that the ones you mentioned here are more fluent and make sense. I find it challenging to be able to do step #3 in a easy manner, but with practice it will be second nature. Learning how to politely disagree with a coworker, or anyone for that matter, is a skill that is extremely useful and will help with your every day life. Thank you Alex for this lesson!
I really agreed with your point on pausing before you answer or disagree with someone. Now a days people are too quick to anger and have a strong desire to argue and interrupt one and other but that is a bad way to converse and can be toxic at times. I agree that pausing can benefit you in conversations because it can help you understand the other person better and also give you more time to formulate a better response.
Being in the customer service field there have been countless times where I've used these steps by Communication Coach, Alex Lyon. I've used these 3 steps, 1. Pause 2. Express Respect and 3. Express Opinion Clearly as a receptionist almost, every day. There was an incident where I've used this method of being able to disagree respectfully, as one of the tenants for the management company I work for did not agree with the fact that due to his rent being late, that he had to include a late fee with the rent payment. I "paused" and let the tenant vent as to why he was paying his rent late, I "expressed respect," for I understand circumstances come up in life and we lose track of time. Lastly, I've "expressed opinion clearly," by letting the tenant know that I do empathize with him however it is per their signed lease agreement and on my end, there wasn't anything that I can genuinely do but accept the rent payment and hand it over to the accounting department. I, however, went above and beyond to contact the manager of the department and made them aware of the situation so they were able to in fact better assist the tenant.
I am a very passionate person who definitely speaks up when I have an opinion to share, but I would often find myself in heated arguments that did not need to escalate. My brother suggested listening to the other person's complete argument and then taking a deep breath before stating mine. I began to do this in my personal and professional environments and noticed the difference right away. Taking a pause before speaking allows my thoughts to come out more clear, respectful and coherent.
Hi Ximena, I'm so happy to hear this method worked for you as I'm planning to implement it into my daily life as well. I also struggle with respectfully disagreeing with others without escalating the argument. What I struggle with the most is letting others finish their arguments without interrupting them because I get very excited to state my point of view, however, I know that pausing to think about what they're saying before answering is going to be as useful to me as it was for you.
Thank you for sharing, Alex. I specifically really enjoyed hearing you explain the part about "expressing your opinion cleanly". I hear many people, including myself, using phrases like "but" and "however" after even expressing respect. I really appreciate the examples you gave where you do not have to agree with someone, and you can still state your opinion in a way that doesn't seem contradictory.
After watching this video I reflected back at my own experiences and the methods I have used in the past to disagree in various circumstances and I noticed that I typically and subconsciously use conflict terms such as "however" or "but". This video taught me a new method of communicating clearly and respectfully so the other person does not feel attacked or defensive in the conversation. Moreover, I learned how the small details matter and it's the best practice when in the heat of a conversation it's best to pause show respect and reply with my own opinion in a way that does not perpetuate a conflict or angering emotions.
As someone who has had previous issues with a difference of opinions in the past, these three steps on how to disagree respectfully were very helpful. Most of the tips seemed reasonable and mainly using common sense to avoid arguing or being disrespectful. One thing that stood out was to avoid using “but” or “however” to not make the other persons opinion seem irrelevant. I tend to always use these transition words when debating but this video helped me realize how it may come across like shutting the other person’s ideas down.
As a person who constantly is communicating with others in my sales job, this really opened my eyes to how to deal with disagreements in a respectful way. In the past, when I have disagreed with others, I have certainly used the words "but" and "however" before stating my viewpoint. This video opened my eyes to how those words can give the impression that I am bringing down someone else's opinion. It is always important to be respectful when communicating.
Hi Miguel! When working in a sales job, it is extremely important to learn to disagree respectfully, even if "the customer is always right". There are times when you have to put your foot down as some people can be 100% wrong or out of line, and that's where disagreeing respectfully comes into play. I agree with how eye-opening it was when he said our words, if not chosen carefully, have the power to tear someone down over an opinion, and it's something I never considered. I now realize how important it is to be respectful as well!
This is a great video. There are just way too many people who do not know how to disagree respectfully. I really love that one of the steps is to directly express respect while disagreeing with them, I always do this and it always works out as i expected. The other person that you are disagreeing with will never get offended if you do this.
First and foremost I have to thank you Alex for voicing this idea so well. I think this is great advice to anybody, not only professionally but in the personal sense as well. None the less I think this is really useful when trying to voice your opinion in a meeting, since it helps everybody with a different opinion save face in a sense, which lets further your point, and gives you the ability to be seen in a positive light even though you might have opposing opinions.
Coach Alex Lyon, thank you for this video. In the era of social media where everybody post what they want without taking a pause to evaluate the situation and tolerate other people comments, this is utterly important. This type of behavior is seen also outside of social media channels, creating then a bad habit that needs to be corrected. Following the three steps to respectfully disagree, we can break that bad habit and foster a culture of acceptance and tolerance for the different opinions.
Hi Veronica,
You are right, i didnt think about how not only this could be used in person but also online. In todays society I definitely think that social media brings a huge problem to this topic, specially now with “cancel culture”. I believe a lot of these online problems could be aboided with the three simple steps shown in the video.
As someone who works as a teller for a credit union, I consistently have one or two people a day that disagree with me even though they are coming from an outside perspective and I am just following protocol. This video says it best, its important to be understanding of the other person's opinon without making them feel less-than as it is my job to provide the best customer service. These three steps, pausing then expressing respect then expressing my own opinion clearly have helped me in multiple scenarios where me and someone else do not agree.
While working in customer service, it is key to implement the three tips you just shared to ensure that communication between co-workers and clients will run smoothly. The aspect of pausing for 3-5 seconds before replying is something I can definitely focus on doing while communicating with others. As you said, the pause allows you to show respect by letting them express their full opinions and also allows you to think before you speak. They always say, it's not what you say, but how you say it.
Many times as a business owners i come across people that dont agree woht my poilcy and i must admit this video has been very helpful. Having a peaceful of way commicationg in stressful situaton can give your custimer can good or bad unforgettable experiance. Showing your customer that you can vaule there thoughts while still standing your ground will having them coming back. Thank you for these helpful tips.
As a brand marketing specialist for a virtual company, I definitely agree that communication is extremely important for any work environment. In his video, Mr.Lyon emphasizes the relations between good communication and disagreements. Disagreements have always been a weak spot for me, but the tips given will help with this problem. Throughout my work experience, I have witnessed many creative clashes. Everyone has different ideas about how to portray a brand message, or how to capture the attention of a target audience. This video has helped me realize that I don't have to go along with a statement I don't agree with. It's alright for me to have a different opinion.
I so very much ADORE the emphasis in this video on expressing respect for the opinions being expressed even if/when we disagree with what is being shared! This is such an important reminder to simply say "thank you" in some form when someone is sharing something with us. Even if we are actually saying "no, thank you", this rejection can be expressed in a way that is non-adversarial. This video was encouraging to watch. Thank you.
I like how you mention the appreciation aspect of having a conversation. A different point of view should be something that is appreciated or even celebrated at times. It means a lot because it shows the person took their time to think about something and contribute their thoughts. Sharing these thoughts should be encouraged.
As someone who almost always tries to avoid confrontation, I found this video extremely helpful. Before watching this video I usually tend to just not state my opinion if i disagree with someones statement because i always felt my opinion would be taken in a bad way. This video has provided me with the tools to effectively get my point across but in a way that is respectful to others opinions as well.
I totally agree with you, Mrs. Cate. Video gives us essential tools to express our points of view while being respectful. The fact that we have a specific opinion about something does not mean that it is obsolete, we must respectfully discuss it with the other person to reach an understanding. Part of this exchange of ideas is the famous "pause" that is undoubtedly the fundamental key to clearly understand what the other person wants to tell us.