Different ways of LEAVING a narcissistic relationship
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- Опубліковано 28 бер 2024
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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Never let the narcissist know that you can see through them. Because if they get to know they'll up their game and become more toxic. Leave quietly if possible.
Agreed
Watch they don't cut keys,They will steal and break things you like ,Rember the police do not really want to help unless you are beaten badly,
@@carolmiles7474 Facts. The quicker and more quietly you can leave, the better. My best escape was one where I relocated FAR AWAY, and kept it a secret. They are VERY HARD to shake loose! Easy to get, but hard to get rid of.
@@carolmiles7474 We kept taking sets of keys away from our Narc. One of his favorite comments was "I can break into anything". Our son had a spare old pickup. To keep his dad from driving it, he took the battery out of it. So, his dad got a battery from a friend, hotwired the truck and drove it anyway until he managed to drive it into a deep ditch. After that our son just got rid of the pickup truck. It was too much of a liability.
I called out my narcissist ex and mother. I didn't know this about narcissists before after I did it.
My narc-ex still needed me for supply. But finally I understood what this is all about. Thank God I don't have kids with him 🙏
I left a covert narcissist that I was with for 3.5 years almost a week ago. I left everything behind to save myself from the abuse that I didn't even understand. I never knew about (Lovebombing, Devaluation, Discard, Hoover). I've never heard of these cycles of abuse.
They wanted me broken down, depressed and would have been happy if I was dead. They would have loved the attention.
They may have started human. But that part of them died years ago.
We are not supply.
YOU are not supply.
To the narcissists in THIS GROUP, who are stalking, watching, waiting...WE SEE YOU.
STAY STRONG MY TRIBE.
Thank you Dr. You have made a difference in my life. ❤
Let me tell you a story. My ex Narc had a fiance prior to my arrival. She was with him 5 yrs. She ran out and left all of her belongings and just took what she could fit in her car. Right after this I came along. I felt sorry for this man. I asked him about why her stuff was in a huge box his hallway. He of course said she'd left him......but stated he never really loved her. That's the only explanation I received. Now I'm the other woman and my stuff is also in his hallway. So you see these people will never find happiness as they move on to the next victim at lightning speed only for another failure. We're all lucky to be out however the damage they cause constantly plays on our minds. It has changed the way I view people and life. There are evil people out there that I was never aware of before.
Great message ❤thank you
@@alliwarwick5590 OMG that sounds so simular to my ex-narc 😱 and now he is in Spain in "our" home with his ex-wife....and last year he had another woman there and on and on...I am so grateful I learned about narcissists. Taking my dignity and confidence back 💯👁
@@alliwarwick5590 Eyes wide open constantly.... unless you're on your own. Sad but true.
I am in a situation where I am done emotionally, but I am still trying to untangle from this enmeshment that was created. I am learning to be an individual, trying to become financially independent and navigate this situation that doesn't cause too much damage to the kids. It can be exhausting!
Dr. Ramani was right when she said that people get upset when they feel like they have to take sides. I am living with this as well, even with people in my family. Stay strong ✨️ 💪🏻 fellow survivors!!
The best way to leave a narc-relationship is- - -FAST! They are demons unable to change. Move away from them, and don’t leave your new address behind. 😊
@lourdeswright. You are so right! They’ll try to follow you, and if they can’t they’ll try to get other people to follow you. Mine did it from halfway across the country. #RealTalk
I have little fear that the narcissist will follow me; I just wish I had realized this about her WAY 'faster' than I had. Good luck to all of us survivors.
@@douglaselliott8298 we all wish that we realized it faster. You’re not alone on that one. I’m so glad to be away from the chaos, I’m not sure I’ll EVER get into another relationship. I’ve learned a lot, but ugh! One thing I’ll say. It’s made me CHERISH my peace. #LifeIsGood
Whether you pursue a relationship in the future or find your own autonomous bliss 'Be true to yourself'. Godspeed to you. @@nanaanan4731
And they will try to hurt you. Run fast and permanently.
Please get out anyway you can.
My son is sitting in jail due to his narcissist weaponizing the judiciary system against him. He has sent me many pictures of the physical abuse that he has endured from her… She has even gone so far as to beating him up in his sleep. He has stab wounds/scars…. Black eyes, multiple scratches all over his body and the latest is a big scar across his nose from where she bit him and he has to look at that as a reminder every single day.
She calls the police when he defends himself. I asked him why he never called the police on her, and he just doesn’t think that he will be believed due to society always thinking that it’s the man that is abusive.
The only reason he even stayed with her in the first place, is because they have a daughter together. There is now a restraining order in place and he is unable to see his daughter. She cut off the rest of the family as well… Weaponizing their little daughter against all of us. I’m still trying to figure out if she’s a narcissist, or a bat shit crazy, but I think it’s a combination of both.
Please pray for my son… 🙏
The worst feeling in the world is watching your child try to do good and come out miserable. They will listen but won’t act because of the ties made to a person who only hurts your baby I pray for him and your grand baby
My narcissistic mother moved into a retirement home 2 yrs. ago. 3 months after she left, I started to get on my spiritual healing journey. I have NO desire to see her, be in her company, speak to her, or anything. This is my time, and I'm working on myself. I'm no longer going to give my energy to someone who never loved me and only used me. I love myself. I'm worthy and enough. I'm going to enjoy MY TRUE LIFE!! Blessings to everyone 🙏 ❤
Sexlessness. Sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t acknowledge you are a sexual being hurts so much. I was in a sexless marriage for years. Being a woman with a high libido, I felt inadequate. Worst I feel invisible. The man who was “supposed” to want me, just didn’t. We talked about it many times, more than I can recall now. It was always me. I wanted too much - once a week was too much for him. I didn’t initiate - he was always complaining of headaches, stomaches, always stressed, always tired. I was too sexual - when being subtle doesn’t work, what is next? Explicitly saying I wanted sex. Oh but then it was not appropriate. Conversations would end up with him saying he didn’t feel desired or I made him feel emasculated because he didn’t want sex as much as I did. Yeah, it was always me. I could never win. While we were dating we would have a decent amount of sex, it was good. The first huge red flag was not having sex in our honeymoon - which I ignored. It rapidly decrease to once a week, then every other week. Years gone by it was months in between, by the time we divorced it was over a year with no sex. I cried myself to sleep more times that I can count. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Was I that undesirable? Was I repulsive? After those conversations, I just stopped trying, initiating, mentioning sex. We were still loving - holding hands, hugging, kissing - but sex was off the table. He then cheated on me. Swore he had sex only 4 times in a year (or more) long affair. It didn’t matter. For years my self worth was damaged by him, years of low self esteem, years of feeling less of a woman, the marriage that was more than over, waiting in hospice, really ended. Funny how things are, I asked him for a divorce, he manipulated me into staying, next day his infidelity came to light. I was out as soon as I could. Best thing of my life. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator digitalinvestigate@gmail.com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...
You just described my life with my wife. Thank you for sharing. Hope I can find the courage you had to leave.
I feel you .. I cried reading this he hold sex as leverage towards me knowing I am a sexual being. Thank you for sharing
I moved to another continent and I can tell you the distance really made the healing a bit easier. But nothing is easy about leaving a narcissist.
Even when you leave a narcissist you're giving them supply. Because they love the game of HIDE and SEEK, so they can SEARCH and DESTROY you.
NO.CONTACT. will set you free.
No contact works. Hard? Absolutely.
None of us require anyone in our lives that treat us like crap. Pragmatic realism.
If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice!
For me, the biggest thing is realizing what narcissism is and that you are in such a relationship. Once I had a name for what kept happening to me, I could make better choices and understand that I had to get out. That’s where these videos have been so valuable. Thanks!
50 ways to leave your lover! Just slip out the back, Jack! making new plans, Stan! Actually the best way for me was "Ghosting" and deleting on all platforms! They don't deserve an explanation!!!
He betta “Call Tyrone”. 🚚 (By Erykah Badu)
And when we fight back we become the Perpetrator
You just slip out the back, Jack- make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy- just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus- you don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee- and get yourself free
Superb!🎉😂
Love this
With "normal" people when you break up, the two of you have a reasonable discussion and break up. With a Narc you don't do that. You just disappear without any explanation, change your phone number and get off of social media. LOL
Great comment, I’ll be listening to this song today! ❤
Now I finally know what that song is about!!!
I saw this title and my brain thought
"Just hop the bus Gus....."
50 ways to leave your lover song😂
The rock bottom for me was when I was in my teens and the person(narc) told me “I dont like you, I never liked you.” Said person was a family member that I called out behavior that was affecting me and others. They started attacking me whenever they could and got a few others to join in. Its a nightmare and very disappointing. These type of people hold very deep grudges and resentment.
Yes, it’s generational unforgiveness. They have a hard heart. And, have a reprobate mind.
The demon Jezebel in them is total in control because they give themselves to her .
It’s very dooming
I know psychology says there’s no Hope for them…..
I’ll still pray for my family’s salvation.
So, if they end up going to Hell
Their blood is not on my hands. 💔
It took me 26-years to break from my neglectful/covert narcissist. I spent years confused all while my narc was grooming me to fawn, accept devaluation and doubt myself self worth. Dr Ramani helped me put words to what I was experiencing in the shadows of my marriage - because it for sure was not and still is not visible to others.
Thank you dr Ramani for helping me find my footing, my voice, my self esteem, my pride, and mostly the strength to leave
Also with a neglectful narc for 23 yrs...just evil
My husband of 35 years is also a neglectful, covert narcissist with self righteous as well . Finally I am done and I am selling the house. I will be the one who will be financially hard up but if it means I will one day wake up feeling refreshed and happy, it will be worth it.
They go no contact when they owe you money, refuse to pay a court judgment against them, or pay child support. This is especially true when they have found new supply. ☠️
Absolutely. When they know they stole all of the money that should have been shared 50/50. Thieves. They All STEAL.
Also, ladies, they target women with a home/ property, money, assets, etc. They are very kind until they know you have attached to them. The Evil will come out as well as abuse which is a confusing strategy..... A joke, etc. Red Flags, Run.
I simply QUIT taking calls from toxic abuser 'frienemies' . And I Completely STOPPED feeling compelled to EXPLAIN myself Or Explain Why I stopped taking their calls or communicating with them. When they go Toxic, I go SILENTLY GONE !!! No more Explaining ! No more Guilt No more explanations . Period !
Going no contact with my mother was very difficult. I finally accomplished it 11 years ago. Through that many family members dumped me. I was hurt for a while but was taught that it was a small price to pay for a drama free life
Going no contact with the ex husband june 2017 has been so easy. 14 years of insanity. So easy to have absolutely no contact at all. With him or any of his family. They all treated me so badly. I love living without each and every one
I focused on building my new life, more than leaving them. I knew nothing about narcissism back then. Seems I was with a covert narcissist. They don’t change. Instead of focusing on that, I focused on changing my life in a way that simply didn’t include them. When I finally succeeded, smear campaign, and all the things happened. It was a rough transition, but I’ve got to tell you … I look around every now and again and SAVOR being without the toxicity.
My only grief or regret is that I felt so desperately alone for years. He made the world seem a terrifying place and the only safe place was with him and doing everything he said or bad things would happen. Didn't even know what a narcissist was, I just thought he was closet woman beater. Not like I could go look up "woman beater" anywhere and not get caught. Can you imagine? I would have left, if I had a dime or anywhere to go but he'd taken everything and isolated me from everyone. The longer I stayed the crazier I thought was going and the more he told me I was crazy, the more afraid I was to leave because I thought I'd lost my mind and couldn't function. It was easier just to go through the motions and try to be good so I wouldn't get berated or hurt. THANK GOD for these videos. It took a week of watching them to change my life, recognize evil and know that I wasn't crazy at all. But even knowing all this I am still STUPEFIED that there are these evil humans just walking around, looking like everybody else.
And THANK YOU for everybody who comments. That's what really makes me feel like I am not alone in the world at all. You are all wonderful and I love you.
I feel SO guilty for going no contact. But I had to, the relationship was physically harmful to me. I find myself undulating btwn the guilt for walking away, and shame for ever falling into this trap in the first place. Therapy and radical acceptance have been vital to my healing. Thanks again Dr Ramani ❤
So relatable.
No guilt. That's a ploy they use to destroy you. Run and find freedom and health.
Thank you for this important message. What's so often overlooked is that grey area between the time when they went the "bridge too far" and something snaps in your soul and you know you are done and all feelings have died, and the process of leaving physically/financially and legally which is complicated and must be custom designed by the victim for their best outcome. There's no one size fits all exit strategy.
For me, it wasn't MY choice to go no contact. The entire family decided to go with no contact on MY end. Yes, I have had a lot of collateral damage. If they had only let me help them, I was so able, ready, and willing to assist them all, or at least a couple of them if they really had the guts to do so. However, when I look back on it, the lessons I've learned are incredible. At the end of the day, I'm extremely grateful that I don't have to deal with the drama anymore, and their karmic justice will be the fact that they have to deal with each other when they get older. HAVE FUN!
Amen! Amen! Although, my heart hurts right now...I am also relieved that I am done. It was time for me to see clearly how important no contact is for me. I gave my all and everything to someone who defended himself and justified his behaviors. I was always wrong. It's difficult to pick up my own boot straps...but I'm doing it and I'm not stopping now. God Bless You Dr. Ramani and everyone else going through such horrific abuse. 🙏
That’s the thing about mental and or emotional abuse. Sometimes we just don’t realize what a flaming furnace of hell these people are putting us through until the betrayal is discovered, or a great enough betrayal comes about to shock us out of the narcotized state they basically drug us into.
First I accepted he was a monster. Then I pretended everything was fine for about a month. Then I blocked him, his family, his friends and sent a letter explaining why. The only thing I would change is the letter. There was no need to outline what he did. I just made it easier for him to do his cyber-cheating without getting caught. But at least I created a situation where it was VERY difficult for him to get in touch with me at all. I moved to a new town as well, and he has no idea what my address is. No contact now for over 2 years. 🎉
I let it be her idea. After 47 years of serving my mother, I started saying "I'm sorry, I'm busy" or "I can't do that right now, but sometime I will". Oh the rage, it was absolutely unacceptable to her for me to have something else be a priority at the moment. She got tired of me being a useless waste of space in her life and I stopped hearing from her. It's only been a couple of years and the guilt is still very strong.
Your book has resulted in a huge shift towards my healing.... I can't thank you enough..... I really can't.
You can just leave and don't look back!
It took me almost four years to elaborate my exit plan after I radically accepted my kids and I had been emotionally and financially abused for years. I also took my time mourning the marriage while in it because I felt I needed to stay strong so as not to be hoovered again.
Problem with a radical acceptance and staying is that it is not healing, it is acceptance, because radical acceptance of abuse does not heal, when we weren't sick at first place. And if you stand your ground your other half will undermine, so what are you accepting? That there is still something to live for?
I love these nuances. Black or white are only slivers of reality. Thank you, Dr Ramani for giving us greater depth of choices ❤
We need to respect ourselves and leave the people who are harmful to our mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. We deserve to be loved and to love which is something the narcisist doesn’t have and is unable to give. They need God to save them. No man can help a narcissist.
Thankyou for helping me to let go safely, I feel able to move on after 23 years.
I’m still in the process of seeing and accepting the unhealthy family dynamics, and the damage it’s done to me and my life. Super hard when they don’t acknowledge these hurtful things. Focusing on truths, boundaries and my well being. Thank you Dt Ramani ❤
My head followed me around for a long time, until I was able to disengage mentally. It's psychology not geography that distances you.
Restraining order in effect for all Eternity.✌
SOOO True💯💯💯 ESPECIALLY when that person or those persons did GREAT HARM to you &/or loved ones. Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Financial Abuse. No one deserves to be BULLIED. "One CANNOT heal in the same place they were made sick." Agree 💯💯💯 And I would add: Nor around those who SICKENED you.💯💯💯©️
He said this would end the same way it started and i blocked him 😢
He always always belittled me, laugh at me when i was suffering and i got subtle insults. I was leaving my life and country behind for him but i am glad he showed himself before my visa was out.
Its being 3 days,its hard but i want better. Very much older than me but always throwing shade 😂
I'm facing a court hearing in which a neighbor (narcissist) is the defendant. He has rage attacks and carries them out on us, swearing, yelling, screaming at us, using false accusations, gaslighting and lies. He's paranoid and volatile. His wife is a supportive codependent who shows and mirrors his behaviors. He is an ambush-style bully, and has even bullied my husband at the polls, in public!
We're asking the court for a restraining order for no contact. I'd like to know if there are data on this kind of situation... how narcs respond when the order is placed against them, if they respect it, etc. Any info appreciated. 🎉
PS I don't use Telegram, sorry.
I hope you have lots of evidence, such as CCTV recordings, phone messages, etc and witnesses especially if he is behaving towards other Neighbours in the same way. I suspect given what you wrote that he is not going to react or respond well, especially if his wife is enabling his attitudes and behaviours.
Be careful of being in situations where he can get you or your husband or other family members or friends on your or their own. Also watch out for things like sabotaging your items, property, keying your cars, calling up repair companies pretending to be you or your husband and sending them to your house, cutting cables, blocking driveways, etc.
A lots of this depends on if he is cumming, smart and devious or just someone who volatile, rages at everyone and blames them for all his problems.
if you can, Move away.... they only get worse..... assholes take a long time to die.... sadly.
... Thank you...I think he is of the second type. We are very careful. Hope nothing bad happens... we can only do our best, and keep the police on speed dial. 🎉
Sounds dangerous!
My victory today was to close on a house and pay cash for it and become debt free. 100%
I remember at the beginning of the end of this realization that nothing was going to change, I fantasized about moving to Australia. I went as far as starting the process of getting a work visa there.
Then I thought about joining the military and going to Afghanistan. I mean that is really wanting to get away, and not really caring if you lived or died....as long as you could get away from it.
❤
Dr. Ramani you literally Saved my Sanity 2 years ago when I was up in Northern Utah. Your Articulate Explanation with Super Clarity abd Compassion literally Saved my Well Being , helped me Unravel and De-ConStruct So much ! Bless you dear Lady ! Ultra Thanks to you , now and Always !
My narcissistic ex-husband has a herd of flying monkeys and his smear campaign was so debilitating for me. The lies he told (and still tells) were something I never anticipated.
He made profiles for me on dating sites, signed me up to review sex toys and trashed me in every possible way. He even accused me of having a relationship with a patient which led to a disciplinary process and I thought I’d be fired and lose my license to practice medicine. When that didn’t work, he accused me of taking narcotics from the controlled drug cupboard and using them for myself or selling them onto others.
All of this heartbreak was my punishment for having the temerity (his exact words ) of divorcing him.
Had it not been for your channel, may still be stuck in the marriage with a snake of a husband. Your help in sharing knowledge and tactics used by narcissists gave me the clarity of mind and the courage to leave.
Bless your heart. 💕🙏
I am so thankful for this series. I had been in a 'friends with benefits' relationship with a woman for 20 years that was becoming increasingly more toxic as time went on. Some recent verbal abuse from her and her complete inability to realize or accept how deeply her words had cut sent me down the rabbit hole with these videos. I've emerged far wiser and am now armed to endure the severing of such a long(and toxically dysfunctional) relationship. Thank you sincerely; Dr. Ramani.
I literally ran for my life. Friends and family helped me to protect myself. No Contact Completely. Some family members totally shunned me for this, to my heartbreak; the smear campaign was horrible, but I was fortunate to have people who knew my character and were willing to defend me. It took almost 2 years to get free of him, but finally ... They are freaking predatory leaches. Another two years to work through to health, independence, and safety. It was 100% worth it - there is no middle ground, it does take time, you will be triumphant in the end, but there is no other option.
I'm really glad you got Out and Free ! Excellent ! So happy for you !
@@user-io7kz4kv3z Thank you. I wake up every single day with a thank you to God for peace and safety.
Look out for those flying monkeys, his brother tried reaching out to me by text and I didn’t respond. Have a good Easter.🌷💐🌸❣️
Leaving leaving leaving...
There are ..50 ways to leave your lover...
Jump on the bus Gus,
Make a new plan Stan,
You don't have to be coy Roy,
Just listen to me....
You don't have to discuss much ...
Just set yourself free.
Slip out the back, Jack. Don't need to be coy, Roy. Just drop off the key, Lee. And set yourself free 😂
There is but one EFFECTIVE way, escape, leave and don't tell them, then don't ever speak one word to them again, don't stalk them on media or talk to any mutual friends either.....they no longer exist. Basically pretend they were never born.
I had a narcissist friend and was hoping to wiggle out of the friendship by saying no to every invite, but she was so pushy, she kept insisting I come to something (she was using me to p off another friend by taking me instead).
I finally had to call her and say, "I think it would be best if we stop seeing each other, this friendship isn't fun anymore."
I was extremely surprised to have her quickly respond with: "oh I agree"!
She was so fed up with feeling inadequate due to her constant comparing and superior airs and me not praising enough i guess! Phew!
She didn't really mean it though, and still called me saying i had taken a sheet i shouldn't have...I swear I did not - i suspect she told me to take it but I couldn't remember, but know I would not have accidentally taken someone's sheet!
So I was obliged to drop by to return it and she did everything she could to stop me driving off... I didn't go in her house and she kept on giving me unwanted advice as I was driving off!
I have watched countless UA-cam videos on narcissism. After six and a half years in an abusive narcissistic relationship, ignoring all possible narcissistic red flags confirmed in these videos, and they were all there, something switched inside my brain. I physically returned and removed all gifts and material things that could remind me of the previous life, and walked away. Thank you Dr. Ramani for all your good work in helping people like us. But to my fellow sufferers out there, it's no use getting your mind confused with all the advice given by many UA-cam therapists, although they mean the best for you, but you will just develop a stage of analysis paralysis. You will never change a narcissist, they will just up their game every time. Rescue yourself and walk away. This is coming from someone who was seconds away from suicide out of desperation. I am praying for you!
I keep wanting to leave, arrange viewings for a new a place..
Then, my partners nice to me again.. I give it a couple of weeks and it’s back to normal nasty self!
Just need to make a plan and stick!!
@@petermettler6149 Thank you for sharing. Look for that final trigger. It is already there. You probably ignored it just like so many other, just like me! Just pull it out. You deserve better, start loving yourself, and respect and appreciate yourself, it is "the you" that is all you really have, the only one who always stood by you, through thick and thin, is you!
Start with removing physical things, it makes emotional detachment much easier, and just move out and on. Life and love is so beautiful out there. You will find it.
My heart feels for you - I cried reading this, thank you for sharing
@@user-ex8hu1ix1c Thank you so much!
Thank you so much for all your advice and knowledge! I watch all your content, just do not always take the time to comment. Thanks again and have a great weekend!
Each has to find out whether your are safer in or safer out.
No question. You are safer out.
No partner = No problems
Being a people pleaser wiyh an extremely strong Fawn and Freeze response, i have something to say about this.
Ive been trying to leave a narcissistic relationship myself lately, and i find that one thing which really helps with all the guilt, fear and pity is to connect with my anger.
Or more like, devote some energy everyday into connectimg with that anger and then channelising it as a force of protection for ur inner child, no matter what the consequences are.
Its kinda like ive hijacked my weakness. If its easier for me to care about others well being than mine, imma assign my psyche as another human being im respomsible for taking care of 😂
I went NC with my narcissistic mother and it was rough but worth it.
If they know you are leaving, they will do " anything " to guilt you into staying. They may go opposite direction of getting totally helpless mentally, anything to keep your attn snd have you mentally under their control ( psyop)
The phrase 'limited contact' is an oxymoron. You're either in contact with someone or you're not in contact with someone. There's such a thing as psychic connection. If you have to meet a narcissist your psychic connection to that person remains strong. The only way to rid yourself of the misery that person brings into your life is to cut that psychic connection by going no contact.
This is completely true. Dr. Ramani is right.
I moved over a thousand miles to get away
from my toxic family and what drawed me back to them was
not expected or planned.........My father's death😔
Dr Ramani, Am in tears and upset.
At least, I didn't have to pray before listening to understand your words or meaning.
I'm scared. I don't know what I did wrong. Still waiting for an explanation of where I went wrong. I'm seeing the manipulation. Am so in trouble and not in the position to just leave. I'm continuing to listen over and over and over again. Yes, at this moment, You're going to be my Bible.
God put you on this earth for a good reason. Your timing is perfect, keep going. I will too. I'm mustering my tears away.
Thanks Doctor Ramani
Much appreciated
I’m in a situation with an enabler who has hurt me several times over the past year. I forgave him once and then he hurt me in the same way again and I said that’s it and I’ve had no contact for a few months. He sent me a lovey valentine and has most recently called and left a message like everything is normal and he might drop by. I honestly wouldn’t call my friend a narc but is totally a self serving enabler.
Thats the problem. You tend to genuinely love these people..and it's the accepting that THEY don't truly love you. It's painful. And they do anything and everything to keep you hanging on, and have some hope you can heal (for the 100th time) while they keep doing whatever they please. It's actually SICK. Like, 💯 % SICK IN THE HEAD type 💩 It is the definition of insanity.
Dr Ramani you have helped me so much with your videos. Thank you... thank you...thank you ...❤
Have it be the Narcissist idea to get away. 20yrs I tried to leave 3x. I realized through Dr. C and Dr. Ram that I had to make him think it is his idea. I have no contact thanks to him threatening me so, I had the courts help me. Sadly, our mutual friends are taking his side and that breaks my heart but at this point I am also like Good cause, they are my life with him and I'm over all of it
Excellent guidance! Thank you so much Doctor!❤
Thank you!!!👍❤❤❤
I respect the number of strong people in the comments section. I don’t say the next sentence in a ‘victim’ mentality but it’s so so hard to walk away. I’ve been managing a 4 year relationship with my partner and decided to walk away today but I can’t help but think maybe she could change.
Im waiting til my spouse ends his cancer treatment.. if i can stand it.. he seems to be doing well so far but stats are 95% that due to his aggressive cancer itll come back in a yr and he will not survive..either he stays cancer free in a yr or his cancer regrows and he will be gone...believe it or not, I hope he keeps improving and stays cancer free to give me a guiltless window to leave.
Anyone else hearing "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" in your head?
She's so powerful
Walked 6 miles today saying out loud. “What am I leaving behind?” “What am I really leaving behind.” On my way out. I wanted to share some of my ick list. If I do that, it will be denied and I’ll be blamed.
Instead I excercize, and listen/watch music and bands who are positive and then I feel grounded and more like myself. What am I really scared that I am leaving w/o explanation? Or no closure? Normal people dont act that way even if they are having a fight or argument. They eventually come back around to work things out. Perhaps apologize. This will NEVER be the case with a narc.
Even NOW I don’t know about goinf NC. I wish HE would cu then he couldnt blame it on me.
I left her she has found my replacement he is virtually identical..creepy
He has found your channel and now is using it to gaslight and call me the narcissist. I started questioning myself...
While I understand that it is better for me that she ended our marriage and has erased me from her life, the pain of being devalued and tossed aside like a piece of trash is profound.
Dr. Ramani have u heard about the viral tiktok daughter slams her break dancing dad case? Would really like to know if u were also able to see what is truly going on there - it's a truly hearth breaking story of a man that provided all he could but gets slandered online. Would really help others as this case including the outright explosive revenge witch hunt to destroy the scapegoat is very heartbreaking and a great example to provide other people suffering being in this situation a live example on what to look out for and what to do.
Walk out the back Jack, Make a new plan Roy, don't need to be blue. 50 ways
Thank you thank you. For talking about the difficulties with ending a narcissistic relationship. I’ve had so many folks tell me to leave when I was in it. I’m out now mostly but it isn’t that simple. One of them acts like they still have access to me. I can’t cut this person off fully because their partner is friends with my husband. So I have to see them. I just gray rock or yellow rock around them and that’s been ok so far. There is so much I would like to say. But I know I won’t be able to get a word in edgewise in. My other relationships were difficult too as well because of situations like this. Or it was a co worker or a family member. Not so easy to just up and leave when if I did I was guilt tripped or questioned or blamed. One person got so burnt out listening to me they turned against me. How do you balance relationships and keep people from getting upset. Or drained feeling from listening to you when you’re trying everything you can to do healthy things in the friendship. This resolves another gaping hole in my heart. Thank you.
Thank you
Many people say if you realize what they are doing you can get out of there way if you find it possible there other techniques as well other's might say.
“ You can outsmart a smart narcissist by remembering what qualifies as toxic behaviour, and in fact, getting what do you need to know from them and getting out, and take care of you“ Good advice.
Brilliant.
Every time we agree to end it.. he starts saying things he knows I want to hear. “I ‘ll go to church”, I will prove that I am changed”, you can go back to school if you want “.. the list goes on .. and I fall for it every time because it is so painful to break up.. I feel stuck..
I'm so sorry what you have to go through I'm a victim of narcissim you can get legal advice or find out about the true nature of your pattern you can gain access to private email and phone calls to social media accounts all you have to to is Google up Myretrieval for HELP
I am working on going no contact with my parents and I am making peace with the fact that it’s probably going to end up being my whole extended family.
I can thank you DrRamini for going on no contact now for almost three years
I did it because it was possible for me to do so
Best decision ever!!
Thoroughly enjoying the blissful peace
No more love bombing mind games
Been three days, no contact. He just texted me , “how ya doing, as if he did nothing at all. Neglectful Narcissist, never gave me a darn moment of support, through challenging times . A Year and a half, of shenanigans. . Seems , truly heartless.
Leaving one from privilege and where my birther was doxxing me and is also a narc - was trying to move to a different coast
50 Ways To Leave Your Lover!
I’m leaving a narc family, soon. They know I am, but they assume I’ll be back. So they’re being really nice. If I told them I’m leaving for good, they’ll be angry? Why can’t they just be happy for me? That I want to move on and make a better life for myself. I even told them I’ve been suicidal and that I need to get help. 20 plus years and I’m finally going to leave. PLEASE, wish me luck. That I stay away for good this time, I always end up coming back, because they need my help and no one else is willing to do it (gee, I wonder why). My health is in shambles and I’m on the brink of suicide, it’s time.
Dr Ramani I dont know if I have missed it but my son married a narcisist and he is in denial. How do you help them.
#1 Be safe #2 Plan #3 Don't tell narc or narc's buddies #4 Take care of yourself throughout process #5 Protect your assets #6 If possible, when out, go no contact
Good video
Like making sure I couldn't even go to his own mother's funeral
Sometimes it works to get far enough away, physically or emotionally, to find peace, joy, sanity, etc. Then every once in awhile give them praise or whinge about your supposed failures, just enough to keep them satisfied so they leave you alone. Is that yellow rocking?
My girlfriend of 3 years left last night, and I know it’s the best thing for her but I feel like my world is collapsing. She told me I’m a narcissist and I know that she is right. I’ve wronged her so many times and she gave me so many chances, and this last opportunity she gave me I really tried to do everything right, but she just didn’t feel the same way towards me anymore. I went through the rage, and the gaslighting, and she knew that I didn’t mean any of those things and I know I shouldn’t have said any of it. She’s just done. And I’m happy for her. But I’m miserable. And I don’t want to feel this way Doctor.
It’s so sad. When dealing w family member.
I don’t trust them….
But, I know they’re harmful if I give an inch…..
They’ll try to take that inch to try to destroy me.
It’s so hard coz…
I’m the only Christian in my family.
And, Glory to God I’ve reached a point where I wouldn’t want to even have them burn in Hell…..
They have done me so dirty and been so cruel…….
I know they’re used by the devil…..
And, it makes me sad that they will end up in Hell for all eternity….. if God doesn’t intervene
Dr. Ramani have you been following the Ruby Franke/Jodi Hildebrandt case ? I would love to hear your take on Jodi Hildebrandt and her seeming influence over Ruby
I left and was good for a week then he woke how reeled me back in . Now making threats if I leave again