Dr. Ramani on the Consequences of Leaving a Narcissist

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  • Опубліковано 22 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 13 тис.

  • @BecketteW
    @BecketteW 4 роки тому +4508

    For years I heard, “If you leave me I’ll kill myself.” I left 25 years ago. He’s still alive. Huh.....

  • @kaylieallen813
    @kaylieallen813 2 роки тому +4530

    I left a narcissist recently and I am so proud of myself.

    • @anabetancourt9316
      @anabetancourt9316 2 роки тому +46

      I'm proud of you too!

    • @junecleaver4099
      @junecleaver4099 2 роки тому +33

      Congrats Kaylie, I am proud of you too, I also just left a narcissist after 20 years so I know how hard it can be.I hope you can move forward and live your best life.Sending you love and light ❤

    • @priscillaeyles3301
      @priscillaeyles3301 2 роки тому +28

      Me too narcissist manager and leaving job at end of month, can't wait!

    • @ARA-ee9yr
      @ARA-ee9yr 2 роки тому +21

      I am immensely proud of you!! Live peacefully without them ❤️

    • @brendakrause5639
      @brendakrause5639 2 роки тому +15

      You are a strong courageous warrior.

  • @cmrandall9151
    @cmrandall9151 3 роки тому +4934

    They're sensitive to abandonment yet they don't have a problem discarding you like trash when you're no longer interesting or convenient. The twisted world of a narcissist.

    • @susanmcguire4664
      @susanmcguire4664 3 роки тому +236

      A lot of the things they do and say are hypocritical. I see this happening on a regular basis.

    • @frenchtoast7742
      @frenchtoast7742 3 роки тому +148

      So true . Mine discarded me like trash but couldn’t take it when I called him out on it .
      Most horrible time of my life.

    • @aharry31
      @aharry31 3 роки тому +134

      It is called selfishness to an extreme degree.

    • @AnimeUni-versed
      @AnimeUni-versed 3 роки тому +14

      Yes

    • @aharry31
      @aharry31 3 роки тому +40

      @@nateiverson6949 They force others to be insincere, once you know who they are to avoid the rage and revenge they will show when they are confronted with the truth. It is a horrible horrible thing to experience. My ex husband did all of this and worse underhanded tactics and I have family members who support him in staff of their own siblings. By the way, I believe most of my siblings 7 of them are narcissistic also.

  • @lesliesexton7555
    @lesliesexton7555 Рік тому +2378

    I left a narcissist 5 days ago...went no contact and I'm so proud of myself 😁❤️😁❤️

    • @carlaneal8263
      @carlaneal8263 Рік тому +40

      I’m proud of you got my apartment for August 30 I’m counting down 😳

    • @Sexy-Chocolate23
      @Sexy-Chocolate23 Рік тому +24

      I need to go non contact…I left mines in June.

    • @guzelfetkulina9599
      @guzelfetkulina9599 Рік тому +14

      How is it going? Could you manage to keep it longer?

    • @lesliesexton7555
      @lesliesexton7555 Рік тому +41

      I am now 2 weeks no-contact and last night I dreamt of her, yet there will remain no space in my life for her.

    • @guzelfetkulina9599
      @guzelfetkulina9599 Рік тому +15

      @@lesliesexton7555 ohh i thought you are a woman and u left your man, it is other way around. Never met narcissist women, but met a lot of men🤷‍♀️ i sm proud of you. God will replace with someone much better.

  • @Kiriza22
    @Kiriza22 4 роки тому +2573

    "No one will ever love you like I did!"
    Answer: "Not true, I love myself more than you ever loved me!"

    • @msdemeanour
      @msdemeanour 4 роки тому +38

      Omg! Mine just sent an sms with this line yesterday. Its been over 2 months but his fragile ego still cannot believe I finally abandoned him.

    • @Kiriza22
      @Kiriza22 4 роки тому +15

      @@msdemeanour Congragulations! I wish you life´s best on your journey.

    • @halliehuffman7551
      @halliehuffman7551 4 роки тому +14

      Good, that's what I'm counting on bitch!

    • @msdemeanour
      @msdemeanour 4 роки тому +3

      @@Kiriza22 Thank you 💌

    • @thebeelievers6503
      @thebeelievers6503 4 роки тому +4

      Or perhaps.."you're cutting your nose off to spite your face"?

  • @melanieknowles7002
    @melanieknowles7002 3 роки тому +1856

    When you just DONT CARE anymore, the trash will take itself out.

    • @janetwestwood9194
      @janetwestwood9194 3 роки тому +21

      🤔🤣👌🇬🇧

    • @pikachupikachu6618
      @pikachupikachu6618 3 роки тому +31

      CHECKMATE

    • @am4221
      @am4221 3 роки тому +25

      Its interesting because they feel the same way. They feel we (the empath or the victim) is the trash and tell everyone “it” took itself out! Never accepting they pushed “them” out. They also push others to suicide attempts yet tell everyone in their circle, the victim is the narcissist and they didnt follow thru. Its really so twisted. The first thing he said to me after my attempt was, I cant be with you being so unstable and in that state! He never apologizes or hoovers! Ever, so others believe the story that the pattern of the victim trying to talk when things cool down or trying to fix things makes the victim, indeed, into the narcissist!

    • @melanieknowles7002
      @melanieknowles7002 3 роки тому +28

      @@am4221 So true. But always remember it was never about you but about their own insecurities etc. It is a lesson to learn and i am thankful it happened sooner than later. My motto now with the narc ... i dont talk cheese to a rat ...dont make moves on a snake ...you are important to many people and most of all to God who created you with much love and being unigue. Dont let sick people live rent free in your head. Its all about YOU now. Its ok. Go for it. Follow your gut instinct. After a narc experience, trust me, you gut always spot on. You are on my prayers list for healing, blessings and happiness.

    • @am4221
      @am4221 3 роки тому +15

      @@melanieknowles7002 thank you. Its so intense. Not a care in the world from them. How smoothly they go on about life. As if you were already dead. I appreciate you.

  • @LouisaWatt
    @LouisaWatt 4 роки тому +2572

    Unfortunately, narcissists prey on compassion and empathy. They need good people in order to manipulate them

    • @steffaely
      @steffaely 4 роки тому +187

      Also people without solid boundaries.

    • @LouisaWatt
      @LouisaWatt 4 роки тому +43

      @@steffaely yes, super important to develop those!

    • @Waffydeerandspicycat
      @Waffydeerandspicycat 4 роки тому +84

      Straight demons I've never been happier since cutting out the insanely toxic "humans" in my life.

    • @LOOTLORD605
      @LOOTLORD605 4 роки тому +24

      @@steffaely and that where they fucked up. First time the narc tried to cross my boundaries he were fucked up.

    • @kristinerivera6637
      @kristinerivera6637 3 роки тому +15

      my ex has a gf i didnt know about and she is narc also like him, hahahahahahahhaahahahaha imagine they slashing themselves with knives bahahahahaha

  • @krutibhavsar9534
    @krutibhavsar9534 Рік тому +921

    "The more you try the worse they behave." So truly said

    • @lala5061
      @lala5061 Рік тому +24

      The Bible says when u let the demon back in they comeback with 7 more...making them stronger...in your caseu never left so that demon got stronger!

    • @bethhansingkoughan2045
      @bethhansingkoughan2045 9 місяців тому +3

      #truth

    • @diariesbycyn
      @diariesbycyn 9 місяців тому +2

      !!!!!!!

    • @kamikazecassidy
      @kamikazecassidy 8 місяців тому +7

      So real. And my roommate narcissist is a hoarder. The more I cleaned, the less he did and the more expectant he gets. He is BIG MAD I am not cleaning or responding to him.

    • @EmanuelEscobedo-e7v
      @EmanuelEscobedo-e7v Місяць тому

      Ugh 😮‍💨😮‍💨😖😖🥹🥹🥺😩😩😩

  • @athenaa2211
    @athenaa2211 4 роки тому +5603

    Being single and happy is better than being in a miserable relationship 😌

    • @rudhisundar
      @rudhisundar 4 роки тому +35

      TRUE!

    • @leritacrowell5981
      @leritacrowell5981 4 роки тому +32

      Amen to that!☺

    • @rafinalucas4823
      @rafinalucas4823 4 роки тому +104

      I have been feeling this way lately. I’d rather be broke and happy than to be miserable with financial security.

    • @athenaa2211
      @athenaa2211 4 роки тому +53

      @@rafinalucas4823 if you have to depend on someone else financially that means you are not financial stable.
      I totally understand making money is not easy, but you can do it

    • @cBe9999
      @cBe9999 4 роки тому +64

      After cutting the toxic people out of my life, I continued to be Depressed for several years. Even when I felt suicidal, I was able to remind myself that life was actually, objectively better without them. That realisation helped me get through it.

  • @concetta3436
    @concetta3436 3 роки тому +18625

    To the narcissist it’s called Abandonment, to the victim it’s called LEAVING…You abandon a child, a dog because you are responsible for them. You are not responsible for an adult who is abusing you

    • @ellesmith4077
      @ellesmith4077 3 роки тому +457

      Mine has been walking out on me &my son for the last 4 years ... I keep taking him back I get a silent treatment every time first one was 2 weeks ... then 4 weeks the longest one was 6 months this time it’s been 3 months I can’t take it anymore he is messaging me today telling me he loves me .....I sent him a recording of himself having his last rage at me which was horrid .... I said I can’t imagine my life without you but I can’t imagine being spoken to like that for the rest of my life either....he has other women he goes out with tells me how much fun they are while I’m at home feeling like Im Going to die of grief I suppose ..... he is pilled up at a rave with a woman half his age .... so I told him To call her & leave me alone ..... I’m so upset 😭

    • @marlathompson4084
      @marlathompson4084 3 роки тому +463

      Best statement regarding narcissism I've ever seen. 1000%

    • @ES-hy2wi
      @ES-hy2wi 3 роки тому +149

      @@ellesmith4077 I was in a marriage 35 years my son is 30 I stay in the marriage so he could have a father in his life.Well nothing has changed only that my son is a adult and ghosted him all his life and caught him cheating his Father still denies it .Do what is best for you and your sons sanity his Father is not going to change your son Wil only be damaged by him seeing his mom being abused.His father will be a poor example to his Son if you take him back your son will become like his Father abusing and using women try to find men who who can be a good role model like church men but be careful their to there are wolves their to, pray and ask the LORD to help you he will guide you.Adventist church are very FAMILY orientated. I will pray for you.

    • @emilyjohnstone408
      @emilyjohnstone408 3 роки тому +52

      So well said 👍

    • @TA-tf5lr
      @TA-tf5lr 3 роки тому +197

      @@ellesmith4077 If you don't cut it off and move forward he will turn your child against you. The sooner you do it the less damage to your children. If you wait till puberty your screwed. Get help ASAP

  • @ezwalker
    @ezwalker 3 роки тому +3600

    After you've been tortured in a narcissistic relationship, you'll be able to recognize that sick feeling in your gut when you meet another narcissistic psycho almost immediately. RUN FAST!!!

    • @findpurpose6300
      @findpurpose6300 3 роки тому +70

      I hope! Never again do I want experience this again! 😁

    • @ezwalker
      @ezwalker 3 роки тому +91

      @@findpurpose6300 You won't if you leave at the absolute beginning of any abuse. If you want to help them, tell them to see a shrink because they're psychotic. They won't, but they'll definitely be aware that you're too smart for them to manipulate.

    • @findpurpose6300
      @findpurpose6300 3 роки тому +56

      @@ezwalker Yes, I learned a lot from this. We need be careful who we let into our life's. Stay safe and stay narcissist free! 🤣

    • @greaterishe7197
      @greaterishe7197 3 роки тому +28

      🏃‍♀️ 🏃‍♂️ 🏃‍♀️ 🏃‍♂️

    • @mayuribiswas4946
      @mayuribiswas4946 3 роки тому +26

      I hope !!
      Because thats the only kind of people i fall for
      I don't understand how :3

  • @wesjohnson934
    @wesjohnson934 4 роки тому +4209

    Nothing crazier than an adult having a tantrum.

    • @007Fusiion
      @007Fusiion 3 роки тому +58

      Isn’t it called ‘rage’?

    • @coffeegirl6854
      @coffeegirl6854 3 роки тому +45

      Maybe it is for them. I have an older sibling who caused so many problems that I went no contact...though I did not realize that was the name for it. Years ago I witnessed her( an adult mind you) balling her fists screaming(meanness absolutely with a red face) screaming in our mother's face AND ACTUALLY STAMPING HER FEET(!) Like a little kid throwing a fit. These fits and love bombing over the years finally I could not stand such abuse or stand witnessing it...I walked. It took my grandkids as flying monkeys. And others. I am just glad it is done.though I got a hoover via someone else...So about your question....rage?/ tantrum?/both?.
      A fist might make a difference too...however as I told this "sibling" She was an abuser. And I know abuse when I see it....she said "I never got anybody!"
      Bruises hurt.Yes. But the sick pain a narc who is not physically abusive hurt and damage maybe more.

    • @coffeegirl6854
      @coffeegirl6854 3 роки тому +15

      She said"I never "hit" anyone. (Typo)

    • @angeladibble8075
      @angeladibble8075 3 роки тому +31

      I've seen it so many times with my mother, it's embarrassing or would be if she could self reflect.

    • @hotrodsmith270
      @hotrodsmith270 3 роки тому +76

      Shit drives me nuts MAN! Just like a 5 year old child. I'm tired planning my get away now.

  • @tessamyers4457
    @tessamyers4457 3 роки тому +2404

    When you stay in a toxic relationship, you essentially block your blessings

    • @wicomms
      @wicomms 3 роки тому +21

      Hmm interesting... elaborate ppl...I am going thru this now

    • @tessamyers4457
      @tessamyers4457 3 роки тому +127

      @@wicomms as soon as you completely let go(and you can’t fake this, because the universe knows your heart) your blessings will flow in such abundance that everything spiritual will make sense . DOORS WILL OPEN THAT YOU NEVER IMAGINED POSSIBLE WHEN YOU LISTEN TO WHATS GOOD FOR YOUR HEART ABD FOLLOW THAT PATH

    • @wicomms
      @wicomms 3 роки тому +8

      @@tessamyers4457 thanks Tessa ..I don't know how to do it ..she divorced me but still stays with me and the 2 kids...she wants me to leave. I want to stay for the kids... All the narc video prove to me that she is a narc to the T, but I don't know what to do...

    • @tessamyers4457
      @tessamyers4457 3 роки тому +20

      @@melaniescott8204 I don’t go to church . I listen to my higher power and I follow my intuition . Why would “God,” want you to continue to be abused . The God that I follow which is “love,” only wants the best for me and wants me to live in alignment with love and light .

    • @tessamyers4457
      @tessamyers4457 3 роки тому +4

      @@melaniescott8204 never said I was a Christian and I live a very faithful, commuted life.

  • @omgothh
    @omgothh 4 роки тому +11988

    Slow claps for all those who chose themselves instead of their toxic partners!!! I’m with you fam!

    • @nicolebavlnka7503
      @nicolebavlnka7503 4 роки тому +163

      Thank you I left him and feel great self respect

    • @michellelong5081
      @michellelong5081 4 роки тому +37

      ❤❤❤

    • @aprilbennett4322
      @aprilbennett4322 4 роки тому +39

      Thank you 💖🙂

    • @aprilbennett4322
      @aprilbennett4322 4 роки тому +46

      @@nicolebavlnka7503 Amazing feeling right!?! 💜

    • @nicolebavlnka7503
      @nicolebavlnka7503 4 роки тому +94

      @@aprilbennett4322 my god YES IT IS did not know how light life is when you lose 169 pounds of a man 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💙💜💜💙👊knuckle bump

  • @jeffreyjackson5229
    @jeffreyjackson5229 Рік тому +603

    What they call abandonment, I call self-respect, care, and protection. It just gets old.

    • @Taphiez
      @Taphiez 8 місяців тому +10

      Real. When you get past the confusion and anxiety, it’s just “oh here we go again.. “ all of it just for whatttt… why you mad? Why you yelling? Be so for real 🙄🙄🙄

    • @lisabalakin2506
      @lisabalakin2506 7 місяців тому

      Amen

    • @Believersundergroundinitiative
      @Believersundergroundinitiative 4 місяці тому +3

      Yes I dumped mine four days ago i was just bored to death catching him doing the same shit over and over it never changes I'm over it

  • @JESUSISGREATEST
    @JESUSISGREATEST 3 роки тому +2601

    When you abondoned the narcissist, life starts to blossom in profound ways.

    • @joedurt2220
      @joedurt2220 3 роки тому +33

      Oh it does. Nicely said.

    • @bengal3665
      @bengal3665 3 роки тому +25

      Oh good God!! Such a fucking baby!! Thank God I've been no contact for a month, and has a 2nd degree battery charge on me. Yes, I'm pressing charges. No one is going to give me a fat bleeding lip, cut above my eye, and tried to strangle me, and get away with it!! I'm finally standing up for myself . Biggest a****** ever met. He deserves everything he's going to get for this oh, he ain't smirking now is he? Dumb f*** that he is

    • @ruebencristobal7790
      @ruebencristobal7790 3 роки тому +6

      Most women cant and wont even if they could.

    • @charity6372
      @charity6372 3 роки тому +22

      Free at last 💚

    • @sara10702
      @sara10702 3 роки тому +19

      I am find it very hard but it definitely feels good.

  • @NarcSurvivor
    @NarcSurvivor 4 роки тому +4864

    When you leave them, they will see it as though you’re abandoning them. They will forget everything they did to push you away and just focus on you leaving. They will see it as though you did them wrong.

    • @angeliahines4323
      @angeliahines4323 4 роки тому +99

      Exactly

    • @haley2121
      @haley2121 4 роки тому +45

      Yes :( this is so true

    • @drivynsonnet7040
      @drivynsonnet7040 4 роки тому +326

      Exactly and they can’t even fathom why we left them - they literally don’t even know what they did was wrong which is concerning

    • @michelleatchison8424
      @michelleatchison8424 4 роки тому +32

      Exactly my point

    • @SuedeStonn
      @SuedeStonn 4 роки тому +99

      @@drivynsonnet7040 I think mine did, and I say this because she tried to gaslight me the very next day on why I left her. In a nutshell she tried to say her action in a given situation was "professional" when it was purely "personal". When I confronted her on it I saw more of the puzzle (I didn't know about NPD at the time, about ten days later I would stumble across it when trying to figure out what happened); the word salad, the gaslighting, the blank stare, trying to act like I was losing the best thing ever... when in reality I basically just dodged a bullet and got my life back. I had told her what she was doing and she acted like it was nothing, and even tried to turn it back on me.
      The bottom line: they really hate when people "discard" them, imo because its a wound to the ego, their sense of self-importance and "specialness". They may fear abandonment, but only so far as it impacts them financially or leaves them in an unstable situation. (I'd go on but gotta run. ;}

  • @tatucorreia
    @tatucorreia 4 роки тому +4459

    I'm constantly battling between hating them and feeling sorry for them.

    • @annachan8151
      @annachan8151 4 роки тому +527

      Someone who makes you hate yourself for loving them doesn't even deserve your hatred let alone your sympathy.

    • @cstevens8788
      @cstevens8788 4 роки тому +112

      I get that. In fact just the other day I had to journal my hate to bring me back to why they do what they do. 🤔

    • @survivor6479
      @survivor6479 4 роки тому +186

      This probably happens because they are intermittently good when they have to get their work done by you.

    • @brownin329
      @brownin329 4 роки тому +140

      Don't feel bad for them.

    • @DiplomacyNOW
      @DiplomacyNOW 4 роки тому +116

      I "feel sorry" for them, but not in the way they want me to "feel sorry" for them. "The unexamined life is not worth living". Some great philosopher said this. I'm SO GRATEFUL for Dr Ramani mentioning self-compassion, self-awareness, self-reflection. My narc family is not available for this "work". I can't "do" superficial. Realizing that my life has been one long gaslight / neglect by my mother was a bit painful, but empowering. Having the words to describe this abuse definitely helps with the understanding and acceptance. SO MUCH GRATITUDE TO YOU, Dr Ramani and those hear who share stories. Sorrow shared is lifted. Joy shared is multiplied. Blessings to ALL.

  • @yolondagoode9656
    @yolondagoode9656 7 місяців тому +111

    I didnt abandon my narc abuser,i ESCAPED with nothing but my peace of mind.

  • @iqranaseer2705
    @iqranaseer2705 3 роки тому +2164

    I left a narcissist a few weeks ago. Best decision I ever made.

    • @morbidmusing
      @morbidmusing 3 роки тому +50

      Me too sister. All the healing and love to ya.

    • @sherylsutherland1183
      @sherylsutherland1183 3 роки тому +25

      Me a month ago

    • @h1ddn4g3nd4
      @h1ddn4g3nd4 3 роки тому +65

      Make sure you don't go back to the narcissist.

    • @susanmcguire4664
      @susanmcguire4664 3 роки тому +32

      I am very pleased for you. Your future will be much happier and safer without them in your life. Wishing you all the best xxoo

    • @be7169
      @be7169 3 роки тому +12

      Congratulations/

  • @2minchallenge821
    @2minchallenge821 2 роки тому +2310

    Abandoning a narcissist who is constantly gaslighting and emotionally crippling you...is the best thing you could ever have done for yourself!

    • @HalcyonoftheAurora
      @HalcyonoftheAurora 2 роки тому +9

      🙌

    • @ludicrous7044
      @ludicrous7044 2 роки тому +14

      I did and it cost me $500,000!!😞

    • @visionvixxen
      @visionvixxen 2 роки тому +13

      It’s so sad… I hope I never find another one

    • @hopeausbyn1734
      @hopeausbyn1734 2 роки тому +20

      @@ludicrous7044 what a man/women prophet if he gains the world but loose his soul. 500,000 was a bargain. Congratulations.

    • @MAMASMEDUSA
      @MAMASMEDUSA 2 роки тому +14

      Or cheating on you. I found out yesterday he was cheating on me with multiple girls and one of them was his co-worker who knew about me.

  • @CHRIS991997
    @CHRIS991997 Рік тому +2444

    I left a narcissist a year ago. I became homeless with two babies (1 & 3 yo) it was extremely hard, and now I can say that I'm so proud of myself.

    • @nitti3723
      @nitti3723 Рік тому +9

      Noice!

    • @sadevilbitch
      @sadevilbitch Рік тому +11

      you really should be. i am proud of you too Cristina ❤‍🩹

    • @scorpionformula
      @scorpionformula Рік тому +56

      Proud of you, as I did the same seven years ago xx

    • @musclemary2227
      @musclemary2227 Рік тому +32

      Good for you! Super proud of you 👏

    • @prithvikanchan9781
      @prithvikanchan9781 Рік тому +44

      Stay strong you've won already and the universe will come together to give you back all the joy you deserve ❤

  • @Starhear7533
    @Starhear7533 5 місяців тому +67

    It's crazy because when you initially leave, they're feeling abandoned, and you feel relief! 💆‍♀️🥳🎉

    • @pegggymallis324
      @pegggymallis324 2 місяці тому +1

      Dr Ramini is so right!! I went through process of a sudden disconnect with a family friend of 30 yrs. I was extremely hurt, but knew better than allow myself to go down her rabbit hole. I have gone quietly no contact. And learned that anyone does not deserve this, can't change people except yourself. I'm out. Her loss.

  • @saloninegi7062
    @saloninegi7062 3 роки тому +588

    They drive you away, leaving you with no other choice.

    • @tiddlywinks8299
      @tiddlywinks8299 3 роки тому +44

      Yes... they drive you away and then they blame you!

    • @wayaca47
      @wayaca47 3 роки тому +7

      @@tiddlywinks8299 Exactly !🤢

    • @quesmith6753
      @quesmith6753 3 роки тому +4

      THIS

    • @metalhead5791
      @metalhead5791 3 роки тому +11

      They always make it your fault. Well at least manufacture that way. They use family friends and anyone else they have ties with that you know to gaslight you into thinking you're the one that's wrong, despite all the rage and abuse heaped your way over the years by them.
      "You know how he/she is, they don't really mean it." They are very good at what they do. They've only been at it since they seen it work and get rewarded early on.

    • @LittleMissSunshine721
      @LittleMissSunshine721 3 роки тому +12

      Soooo true. I worked with a partner that made me feel comfortable with opening myself with her at the beginning of our work relationship. I thought she was a friend, but that wasn’t the case. She was dark and did some really shady things to me that I couldn’t believe. I fell into a very deep depression. I would get nauseous when I arrived in the parking lot at work. The anxious feelings were overwhelming. I finally got the courage to quit my job and it was the most freeing feeling ever.

  • @infinitetundra
    @infinitetundra 4 роки тому +1169

    “After everything I’ve done for you.”

    • @iJuanGutierrez
      @iJuanGutierrez 4 роки тому +50

      😂 word. Done shyt but take away and never give !

    • @drivynsonnet7040
      @drivynsonnet7040 4 роки тому +90

      ‘I gave my all for you’ - erm not really you just wanted everything your way and only your needs was relevant

    • @SK-sc5pu
      @SK-sc5pu 4 роки тому +40

      Yes I heard that earlier this year when I went no contact with my Dad. He said “I don’t know what I could have done to make you angry. Maybe some gratitude for all I’ve done for you will offset your anger.” He has been the one acting angry towards me all year though. I walked away just to get my peace of mind back.

    • @catherinepraus8635
      @catherinepraus8635 4 роки тому +35

      The guilt shame trip yup

    • @newday2905
      @newday2905 4 роки тому +17

      LOOOOOOOL mine said that

  • @yahwehsbaby
    @yahwehsbaby 4 роки тому +785

    I’ve never felt so much disgust for a person and feel bad for them at the same time. I don’t want to have hate in my heart for this person, but I also don’t want to have compassion for them anymore they don’t deserve it they’re weird

    • @cathydoughty6988
      @cathydoughty6988 4 роки тому +99

      Thats exactly how I feel. I dont like to hate, but my God, I have never been treated worse in my life or disrespected like I was. It kills me!

    • @HealingIndigoMoon
      @HealingIndigoMoon 4 роки тому +33

      I completely empathize with y’all on this. Wow.

    • @Jess1234
      @Jess1234 4 роки тому +30

      Him tormenting himself is his own karma

    • @skeyesk2717
      @skeyesk2717 4 роки тому +10

      Right ... agreed.

    • @sparkelsdiamond2699
      @sparkelsdiamond2699 4 роки тому +5

      Yep

  • @Sherirose1
    @Sherirose1 7 місяців тому +190

    All the narcissist survivors, please gather here.👇 We need to have a teams club to share and educate each other to avoid going back. 👇👇👇

    • @Cez.Craftroom
      @Cez.Craftroom 5 місяців тому +2

      Yes…i can relate totally

    • @samramajeed5315
      @samramajeed5315 5 місяців тому

      Yes❤

    • @BNyaB
      @BNyaB 5 місяців тому

      🙋🙋

    • @mememefinally
      @mememefinally 5 місяців тому

      Thank you

    • @kevinfager.
      @kevinfager. 5 місяців тому +1

      My brother has been more and more physically threatening to our dad and being aggressive. I went over and said I’m here bc I wanted to talk to you about this, what’s going on. He, of course, claimed my dad was the one that always initiates these interactions. As well as stating our dad was lying over text. I, conversationally, believed this reality and simply asked clarifying questions. Before ever saying anything negative or refuting his claims he became extremely angry. Eventually, I said I didn’t believe him it needs to stop and if it doesn’t I’m either calling the police if urgent or filing a report. He of course said family doesn’t call the cops on each other to which I said that’s why I’m here, bc I don’t want to do that.

  • @youtubeaccount-yr6hb
    @youtubeaccount-yr6hb 3 роки тому +1983

    They abandon people via emotional abuse/neglect then wonder why someone would physically abandon them. 😂

    • @ericjshorts3203
      @ericjshorts3203 3 роки тому +117

      They are evil and delusional.

    • @libraempress2069
      @libraempress2069 3 роки тому +39

      This how they one did me he’s the first narcissist I known. But they will Reap what they sowed

    • @thaddeusvaliantlilbodhi1223
      @thaddeusvaliantlilbodhi1223 3 роки тому +6

      EXACTLY!! LOL I GET IT KNOW HAHAAAA 😂 LOL

    • @anthonyiuculano6002
      @anthonyiuculano6002 3 роки тому +20

      Because they deserve it.

    • @seagoddess12
      @seagoddess12 3 роки тому +43

      Yes, I was told that I "abandoned " them and that apparently I was "never actually in love or committed to them " and that I "gave up on us". I stayed for 2.5 years in that relationship. At first I always stood my ground, which resulted in sooo many arguments, then I started to feel bad and guilty and allowed myself to stay with them because it was "my fault " and "I was the problem " and deserved the insults apparently.

  • @jreeves6559
    @jreeves6559 Рік тому +1544

    I left my Narc 3 weeks ago... the fog is only just starting to clear. I'm starting to see how crazy and abusive the relationship was. My nervous system and anxiety are starting to calm. Some days are harder than others...but I'm really proud of myself.

    • @Ioncandi
      @Ioncandi Рік тому +21

      Good luck you can do this!

    • @tracyhull7936
      @tracyhull7936 Рік тому +16

      You should be proud way to go

    • @francesoakford241
      @francesoakford241 Рік тому +27

      Its like they hypnotise you have you under some kind of spell. But after a while the pattern recognition becomes to much to ignore. I lost 18 kilos in weight and I wasnt even over weight. He said I was to fat then he didnt find me attractive anymore because I went so thin because of him. Nervous system was all over the place. And the 3 lots of anti biotics because of Stds he had given me. I finally snapped and had enough last week. When he asked me for the third time to be friends. I left I said I dont remain friends with serial womanising bullying narcissistic cheaters. Ive blocked him on everything. I never eant to lay eyes on him ever ever again. 🆘🙏❤️

    • @linoportelli8240
      @linoportelli8240 Рік тому +25

      It's so strange how clear it is how abusive it was once that fog clears.

    • @TheLastEgg08
      @TheLastEgg08 Рік тому +22

      When you realize what they did, you have a mental breakdown and everything is foggy and love transforms into rage, hatred, trying to get revenge then you just realize how pathetic they are inside and you move on because you’re worth more than that.

  • @juliab1992
    @juliab1992 Рік тому +1679

    I left my own mother. I'm still scared to death... but now my life belongs to ME. People with narcissistic mothers will understand.

    • @doristhompson1135
      @doristhompson1135 Рік тому +62

      Hugs

    • @kyliesmith9199
      @kyliesmith9199 Рік тому +84

      I'm getting ready to just do that with my narc mother. It's scary and the thought has made me sick even though I know getting out of here will be so much better.
      Hopefully you're living your best life now (and if not, I hope things get better!) and hopefully my life will be better too at some point soon.

    • @Yakuo
      @Yakuo Рік тому +13

      💙🙏💎

    • @sakitotalks
      @sakitotalks Рік тому +18

      Hey, how are you doing nowadays?

    • @reeree4735
      @reeree4735 Рік тому +94

      I have forgiven my mother many times to my own demise. Moved far away for years. We're now 7 minutes away. She started her garbage when I was there with my granddaughter. I picked her up with a big smile and walked out. 3 years ago and I have no regrets. They don't change. In fact she is dangerous.

  • @lolitankoane4902
    @lolitankoane4902 Рік тому +276

    The amazing part when you decide to leave... Is how you suddenly start to SEE clearer. You even see that what you thought was normal was actually toxic all along. The anxiety and stress starts to lessen.
    I filed for divorce last year July, it's been a year and a month and still he's giving me a hard time about it.

    • @Heroine2me
      @Heroine2me Рік тому +2

      Yes!

    • @dipshikhachandra3439
      @dipshikhachandra3439 Рік тому +10

      Right. When I used to point out my ex's mistakes then he used to say that it's normal in every relationship & that he abuses me bcz he loves me alot & misses me. Now when I left him & started talking to my frnds again & discussed these things with them then their reply was also the same. They also said that such kinda behaviour isn't normal. Now I realise that what I used to think was right. He was manipulating me into believing that abuses are ok

    • @Freespiritedqueen
      @Freespiritedqueen 10 місяців тому +1

      ​@dipshikhachandra3439 Same, he had me believing what he did, he did because of love. "All in my head".

    • @grantwithers
      @grantwithers 9 місяців тому

      i was lucky at least in that I recognized it twas not normal and was out in a jif, still they're colonized in your mind, on and on.

    • @reemanagori
      @reemanagori 9 місяців тому +1

      tell me about it. Its been more than 2 years and he's still blaming me for not taking his shit for life.

  • @jamilia9169
    @jamilia9169 Рік тому +506

    I dont call it abandonment I call it RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE😊

    • @marchesa2u
      @marchesa2u Рік тому +5

      Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide from my 42yr old narc son. I'd have to give up everything and go wondering alone in to the unknown. Unfortunately, he cannot take care of himself; he'd be homeless, return to using drugs, and die alone. What can a mother do? If things do not change, I will need to move somewhere to avoid serious abuse in my later age. Sad and stressful situation. Damned if I do and damned if I don't.

    • @jamilia9169
      @jamilia9169 Рік тому +2

      @@marchesa2u 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

    • @marchesa2u
      @marchesa2u Рік тому

      @@jamilia9169 thank you! 🙏

    • @lastthingsministry
      @lastthingsministry 11 місяців тому +3

      But he has free will and so do you, it is the image of God. It isn't true that he has no one, that is a guilt trip he uses to keep you trauma bonded. It is one thing to help someone who accepts your help and is grateful for it. It is another to try to help a person who is actively abusing you. It is either him or you, that is how your son thinks. He is trying to drag you down with him. This is evil and when something is evil, you HAVE to walk away. He has God as God is waiting to be there for everyone. No one is alone as God waits for everyone. As long as you are his crutch and punch bag, you are preventing him from hitting rock bottom and it is literally his only chance to change. I know what I am talking about, I had to hit rock bottom before I could change too. I had self destructive and addictive behaviours too (though I wasn't being abusive). I hit rock bottom and though I felt alone, I knew God was there and I cried out to Him. That was 6 years ago and now I am born again and have a completely different life. Some of my addictions went overnight. Jesus Christ saves.

    • @KheraOfAllah
      @KheraOfAllah 11 місяців тому +1

      Exactly 😂😂😂😂

  • @kb9167
    @kb9167 3 роки тому +854

    I left after FIFTY YEARS (ya, slow learner am I) and now I’m free, I’m content, I’m happy!

    • @kb9167
      @kb9167 3 роки тому +40

      No one can throw a bigger tantrum than a narcissist who’s losing control of someone else!!!!

    • @brendak7781
      @brendak7781 3 роки тому +46

      Congratulations on putting you first. It took me twenty years the first time and sixteen years the second time. I thought my love could fix them.

    • @dalidzucheredi2495
      @dalidzucheredi2495 3 роки тому +15

      You finally found sanity

    • @firstnamelastname-vt6et
      @firstnamelastname-vt6et 3 роки тому +15

      proud of you!

    • @stephaniewilliams3604
      @stephaniewilliams3604 3 роки тому +25

      Took me 30 yrs, 1 month and 10days of being miserably, emotionally, and verbally abused to find freedom and peace again! I did it for my daughter and parents and received peace and relief for myself as an added benefit. I feel sorry for him and would help him if he was capable of truly listening/hearing my heart and prayers for both of our families

  • @Shurmash
    @Shurmash 3 роки тому +1348

    I'm getting ready to leave a narcissist relationship. When I started realizing that my mood was better when I was by myself, that's when I knew there was a problem. If I feel worse off when you're around vs when you're not around, it's time for me to go.

    • @Bibi-hh1md
      @Bibi-hh1md 3 роки тому +35

      Same here and I felt better off without my mother (narcissistic mother)

    • @dejachhun338
      @dejachhun338 3 роки тому +52

      I feel u! But it's weird because part of me is scared. Not that he's taking care of me (I take care of him, lol). I think I'm scared of the change.

    • @patriciaque197
      @patriciaque197 3 роки тому +47

      @@dejachhun338 Courage is being scared but doing what's best, anyway😁👍

    • @dejachhun338
      @dejachhun338 3 роки тому +8

      @@patriciaque197
      🥰

    • @debibaughman985
      @debibaughman985 3 роки тому +9

      Im in the same situation. Good luck to u!

  • @nellythenarcissist
    @nellythenarcissist 7 місяців тому +172

    “Losing the conveniences you brought to their life” - it’s so sad when you realise this is all they ever cared about. It’s such a sickening shock when you learn that you were never cared for. It’s a cold wake up! You didn’t love me you loved my services.

    • @MimiMimi-cs3ke
      @MimiMimi-cs3ke 7 місяців тому +12

      Yes exactly, feeling horrible to have left somebody make me become a servant. Now to find back my dignity...

    • @Dragonfly_magictarot
      @Dragonfly_magictarot 7 місяців тому +2

      Yup ❤

    • @5thHouseProductions
      @5thHouseProductions 7 місяців тому +2

      It's true, we were never cared for! This is sobering and helpful.

    • @iiyoniezeHill
      @iiyoniezeHill 6 місяців тому +4

      Is interesting to learn they could Never love lmao I can’t believe it but u have to believe it’s tru

    • @Dragonfly_magictarot
      @Dragonfly_magictarot 6 місяців тому +4

      @@iiyoniezeHill that’s probably why sex feels so empty. Good but empty.

  • @vickyadkins7653
    @vickyadkins7653 3 роки тому +1342

    I left a narc 6 months ago my life has Blossoming ever since!! New job, new place, more income/ savings and Love. If you are reading this: You are making the right decision! As hard as it was it was needed for me to grow!

    • @cttofl8822
      @cttofl8822 2 роки тому +39

      PRAY FOR ME! I don’t want to go back.

    • @StarflyerT
      @StarflyerT 2 роки тому +15

      Same! I left my Narc mom about 8 months ago now and I realized I felt happy for the first time! I got a great job, making more money, living with a best friend and we do a lot of fun things together. :< Then Narc mom started the blame, shame, lies game to try to pull me back. On No contact now. MUCH happier apart and I've lived with no contact before (Mom's decision) so it's nothing new. I love and miss her, but I have a life to live!

    • @raemarie6720
      @raemarie6720 2 роки тому +18

      @@cttofl8822 don’t go back, it’s not worth holding on to someone who treats you badly. Make room for the person who will treat you better

    • @cttofl8822
      @cttofl8822 2 роки тому +5

      @@raemarie6720 thanks I love you for that… rlly I needed that Rae

    • @raemarie6720
      @raemarie6720 2 роки тому +5

      @@cttofl8822 You’re welcome! Remember to take one day at a time. It gets easier each day. Write a list of all the bad things you felt or experienced and look at that list when you’re tempted to go back. I’m rooting for you 💕

  • @rinsolaalatise8228
    @rinsolaalatise8228 4 роки тому +1300

    Who clicked without even watching 👀....... i love this woman she changed my view of me. Thought I was broken but im not ......

    • @iJuanGutierrez
      @iJuanGutierrez 4 роки тому +19

      You though you where the problem ?

    • @druzilla6442
      @druzilla6442 4 роки тому +70

      Me too! I grew up in a dysfunctional family, it can be hard to get any perspective of what is "normal" in a toxic environment.

    • @harleyhearse
      @harleyhearse 4 роки тому +44

      Me too. Finally 43 years later I learn I am a Parentified CoDependent who married a Covert Narcissisy 9 years ago, I was finally disconnected 11 months ago by my now former wife. And realized at the same tire who I am in regards to my family- the Scapegoat. Financially destroyed...and so confused its not even funny. Thank God for Dr Ramani.❤😊

    • @druzilla6442
      @druzilla6442 4 роки тому +12

      @@harleyhearse Good to hear you got out❤ It's not easy being the scapegoat, it's hard to break free. I realised after my dad died five years ago how toxic the family dynamic was. I feel quite angry for him not leaving the marriage sooner, but I don't think a divorce would have been easy either... He died after four months of cancer. Although it's awful to have lost him, I'm happy he is free now🕊

    • @PriyankaGupta-ew1li
      @PriyankaGupta-ew1li 4 роки тому +10

      😌🙏🏻❤✨ She saved me😭😭

  • @gwynmcfadden6360
    @gwynmcfadden6360 3 роки тому +671

    You’re not allowed to leave a narcissist. They call the shots. They spent a lot of time hoovering you into submission. They learned how to emulate your strong qualities because they’re incapable of having strong qualities on their own. So, yes, they get mad when you leave. But not because they’ll miss you or they’re hurt. It’s because now they have to put that work into someone else all over again.

    • @karoshi2
      @karoshi2 3 роки тому +33

      And all that while living their miserable ordinary lives. (Mine's a covert narc who finally has to go to work for their own living.)
      Enjoy your freedom! Wish you the very best!

    • @bea4394
      @bea4394 3 роки тому +16

      I agree. I think “hoovering” is less the fear of abandonment and more the reality that they have to put effort into another person.

    • @ramonpineda7514
      @ramonpineda7514 3 роки тому +15

      Yup!!! My ex threw the word "divorce" around years ago and even told me to go stay with my mother. She literally kicked me out twice but I failed to realize that I was her yo-yo. She called both times after a week telling me my son was missing me ( my weakness) both times. The third time she said it again years later this time I was done being her yo-yo and it was the best decision ever. I had to get the strength to overcome my weakness. I knew there was a high chance of my son not wanting to see me again. Sadly that was the outcome and I pray he reflects when he is older. I love him dearly.

    • @mayalibre
      @mayalibre 3 роки тому +16

      Indeed. They COULD also put that work into developing their own sense of self and personal power... but the odds are not good. Most narcissists are not prepared to do what it actually takes to recover and develop a healthy adult self.

    • @ramonpineda7514
      @ramonpineda7514 3 роки тому +5

      @@mayalibre I concur! They are impaired and do not have the tools to do that.

  • @KheraOfAllah
    @KheraOfAllah 11 місяців тому +151

    I call it an escape. Someone in the comment said, " I call it RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE." 😂😂😂😂 That is so exact 💯

  • @KKKkiri
    @KKKkiri Рік тому +1357

    I think a narcissist is condemned to be forever alone, because everyone will be driven off by their unacceptable behaviour.

    • @cindyluwho2767
      @cindyluwho2767 Рік тому +25

      Thiss

    • @digitalversatilediscjockey3465
      @digitalversatilediscjockey3465 Рік тому +59

      This honestly jus made me so much more comfortable about getting out of my fucked up ass relationship. Thanks for putting it that way ❤

    • @redpilljesus
      @redpilljesus Рік тому +9

      I don't think so.
      She had me for a while.

    • @digitalversatilediscjockey3465
      @digitalversatilediscjockey3465 Рік тому +51

      @@redpilljesus only for a while though. Eventually everyone sees through their shit

    • @elizabethf8078
      @elizabethf8078 11 місяців тому +38

      Ha ha.. My ex has had 4 wives since me *that I know about*. An empty well can never be filled.

  • @MrSucusucu
    @MrSucusucu 3 роки тому +409

    Falling in love with narcissistic people: a very bad emotional investment.

    • @DesireeMonette
      @DesireeMonette 3 роки тому +10

      Amen. I left my nars two days ago. I feel so relieved

    • @jeanmahlangu4125
      @jeanmahlangu4125 3 роки тому +2

      💔

    • @bluesign3034
      @bluesign3034 3 роки тому +2

      That's so true. Ive learned my lesson. When you notice the redflags from the start, run!

  • @le_th_
    @le_th_ 4 роки тому +343

    You can't "abandon" someone who was never "in" the relationship in the first place. People are nothing more than a pit-stop for narcissists: a place to momentarily refuel before they are off to the next shiny object that captures their attention.

    • @shaniecegullison
      @shaniecegullison 4 роки тому +16

      I hate this about them

    • @anumgilani8277
      @anumgilani8277 4 роки тому +6

      Well said

    • @le_th_
      @le_th_ 4 роки тому +2

      @@anumgilani8277 Thank you, and Happy New Year~

    • @le_th_
      @le_th_ 4 роки тому +18

      @@shaniecegullison Depending on how far down the narcissistic spectrum they are (and how close to the sociopathic end of the spectrum), there can be a lot to hate about narcissists.
      I'm also really grateful I'm not one of them. I can't imagine being so desperately needy for admiration from others.

    • @tarajh
      @tarajh 4 роки тому +1

      👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

  • @ms.newcomerteacher6554
    @ms.newcomerteacher6554 3 роки тому +502

    “Threatening divorce and not doing it is a form of gaslighting to keep you in line.”
    Same with threatening suicide.

    • @scottspringer6036
      @scottspringer6036 3 роки тому +8

      Wow, Thanks for putting those together......Clarity I wish I had 15 years ago....

    • @natashabrown6147
      @natashabrown6147 3 роки тому +9

      In I would go on and sign the papers cause the longer u stay the longer they abuse u and it get worse over time and worse when u leave these people are very evil vile and wicked trust me when I tell u I regret the day I ever met one of these monsters!! They will make your life a living hell!!

    • @thedancelearner7721
      @thedancelearner7721 3 роки тому +20

      He threatened me of divorce. I started the divorce

    • @15gilsonrd
      @15gilsonrd 3 роки тому +11

      I never understood why my lying, cheating narcissist never threatened divorce. Now I can see it was his fear of abandonment and the fact he was not capable of loving anyone, so he was never going to have a healthy relationship with me or anyone else, so why leave?

    • @kenoy347
      @kenoy347 3 роки тому +3

      Everyday I go through this

  • @her2374
    @her2374 Рік тому +183

    I was in a 10 year relationship with a narcissist..& it’s been 1year since I’ve broken up with him. He’s been persistent in trying to get me back and I have been equally persistent in staying done. Not easy, but the peace and rest I have gained is so worth it.

    • @amisedai942
      @amisedai942 11 місяців тому +3

      Never go back to where you’ve been😎 your too cool for that💕

    • @her2374
      @her2374 11 місяців тому

      @@amisedai942 thank you so much ❤️🥰

    • @khyatichauhan30
      @khyatichauhan30 11 місяців тому +5

      I was in a relationship with a narcissistic for 10 years. It's been 2 years since I'm free. Stay strong and glow

    • @her2374
      @her2374 11 місяців тому

      @@khyatichauhan30 I sure will, you do the same. 💪🏽☺️

    • @shirleyelliott9848
      @shirleyelliott9848 9 місяців тому +2

      Stronger by the day. Stick with it love. You're worth it and owe it to yourself.

  • @ak-47intelligence75
    @ak-47intelligence75 4 роки тому +438

    " You will never find another man like " THATS THE POINT !

    • @tl8142
      @tl8142 4 роки тому +11

      When i was dumped by my gf i remember saying to her that ” i will never find someone like you 😔”.... she really was the best.
      ”Time will decide who you meet in life
      The Heart decides who you want in your life
      BUT
      Your behaviour decides who will stay with you ”
      💔 lesson to be learned.

    • @sandranl5970
      @sandranl5970 4 роки тому +4

      Hooo that’s a blessing

    • @elizabethgonzalez5687
      @elizabethgonzalez5687 4 роки тому +7

      Yep,when he said that to me my reply was why the fucknwould I want to find someone else like you? That was said like a true narcissist. He got so pissed and started yelling at me "your evil your evil !"

    • @janetharry3621
      @janetharry3621 4 роки тому +10

      That is exactly what mine said to me when I dumped him. And I said to him THAT'S MY PLAN TO NEVER MEET ANYONE LIKE YOU 😂

    • @christophergallipeau76
      @christophergallipeau76 4 роки тому +3

      Works both ways hun

  • @darlenepatterson805
    @darlenepatterson805 3 роки тому +891

    Narc's loves to break up with you just to devalue you and actually anticipate you begging them to come back. Don't go back.

    • @davidcoppotelli3957
      @davidcoppotelli3957 3 роки тому +26

      DARLENE, We don't do DO Overs. They need Rot Away. They need there KARMA.

    • @darlenepatterson805
      @darlenepatterson805 3 роки тому +17

      @@davidcoppotelli3957 yeah it’s a bit tiresome. Lonely. But hang in there so you get the best.

    • @darlenepatterson805
      @darlenepatterson805 3 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/By4hLJ7wbgE/v-deo.html

    • @Denise-wj4yy
      @Denise-wj4yy 3 роки тому +27

      That's fine tell everyone you broke up with me..just GO

    • @1mikewalsh
      @1mikewalsh 3 роки тому +8

      Yes you should stay gone.

  • @alex33382
    @alex33382 4 роки тому +502

    When people can't cope with reality, they make their own.

    • @le_th_
      @le_th_ 4 роки тому +13

      All they care about is controlling the narrative and they carefully "edit" the narrative so that they can remain grandiose, special, holier than thou, politically correct, virtuous, intelligent, faithful, innovative/entrepreneurial, like a hero/social justice warrior/generous benefactor....or whatever "starring role" it is they've cast themselves in so that they are in the strongest position to be admired by others.
      Above all, they are admiration-seekers, and that can show up a million different ways, depending on the values of the culture around them (and that can also shift depending on who is around at any time).

    • @nthomson3575
      @nthomson3575 4 роки тому +8

      Yes! One person comes to mind who can’t cope with reality and that is Donald Trump.

    • @le_th_
      @le_th_ 4 роки тому +2

      @@nthomson3575 Yeah, anyone who needs to plaster their name all over every business they've ever opened is pretty desperate for admiration from others.

    • @jallehdoty4071
      @jallehdoty4071 4 роки тому +1

      Well said

    • @warnettagreenwood2252
      @warnettagreenwood2252 3 роки тому +5

      Who ever said that said it best. When people can’t cope with, reality they make up their own.funny hun.😂and at the same time sad.

  • @Healinglove
    @Healinglove Рік тому +54

    People are ABSOLUTELY leaving these parasites! Thank God!
    There is SOO much exposure now, i believe due to social media. I'm so grateful the education. Thank you for all that you do. 2023 🎉❤

  • @bonniebernier4642
    @bonniebernier4642 3 роки тому +1126

    When you abandon/leave a narcissist, you heal over time & you become a happier person 🙂✨

    • @susanac1679
      @susanac1679 3 роки тому +27

      May the LORD heal all of our damaged souls and guide the world to a good place with no more hate and negativity as we live and stay alive...

    • @nylas100
      @nylas100 3 роки тому +6

      Been 2 years after 26 year marriage. He was a lot more wrong with him other than narcissism I'm so glad I did it. He was a evil wretched man capable of anything. Only I know but to the world butter wouldn't melt.

    • @whatiftherewerejust100peop8
      @whatiftherewerejust100peop8 2 роки тому +2

      So true!

    • @Peanuts76
      @Peanuts76 2 роки тому

      I hate her, i wanna leave, annoying at best....

    • @sequoiastreet9872
      @sequoiastreet9872 2 роки тому

      Thank you I needed to hear that. I lived with my cousin for eight months who has the streets. I’ve also been trying to get sober and have stayed sober for eight months. Got tired of hiding in my room all the time and crying in the bathroom. Constant one upping, following me around, expert on everything, wanted me to be uncomfortable, I started realizing The manipulation. I’m having trouble right now with what is real and sometimes I think that I’m doing things wrong but I know and I’m trying to Trust my gut. I finally had enough and freaked out and left I told him that I know and then I have notes on everything. He tried to I think it might be gaslight me and twist things when I came back three days later he try to suck me back in and give me this fake apology but I can see right through it. I have to stay here with him for now but I’ll leave in one week for Pennsylvania I’ll go anywhere I can’t wait To feel OK. There’s so much to this to explain and I don’t know how this could affect me this bad in such a short time

  • @mcrivas4714
    @mcrivas4714 3 роки тому +639

    I kicked my narcissist BF out of my house a few hours ago,Not tolerating any more putdowns,it feels like pounds of pressure was released from my chest.So now I am binging on videos on the topic to help me understand and heal.Love should feel good.

  • @peacefulpesfel1932
    @peacefulpesfel1932 4 роки тому +506

    The energy and peace they drain from you...

  • @JazzBear
    @JazzBear Рік тому +24

    I just removed two narcissists from my life. And my world is now a much brighter place.

  • @elsocket
    @elsocket 2 роки тому +878

    Loving narcissist is like hugging a cactus. 🌵🌵🌵

    • @giacole6337
      @giacole6337 Рік тому +20

      And that’s the truth!!!!!

    • @tracyhull7936
      @tracyhull7936 Рік тому +17

      Great analogy

    • @sarangtokki2045
      @sarangtokki2045 Рік тому +33

      I'd rather hug a cactus any day 🌵
      At least I'll only have physical scars instead of being mentally fukd up like I am now ❤️‍🩹💩😇

    • @fuchsiachic7371
      @fuchsiachic7371 Рік тому +4

      I felt that tooooo sad.

    • @Indy__isnt_it
      @Indy__isnt_it Рік тому +4

      ​@@sarangtokki2045 exactly. He knows how pissed I am, without even talking to me. He's giving me his perfect silent treatment. Knowing I'm disabled and can't complete my reno I started, and he was helping me, especially after hurricane Ian hit. He quit soon after. Never came back except to anger me. He stopped now, knowing that silent treatment is making me crazy without telling him. They are so cruel.

  • @rhalyzacortez
    @rhalyzacortez 3 роки тому +621

    I’d rather stay alone than be surrounded by anyone who makes me feel like a goddess one day by love bombing me and receiving negative energies and guilttripping me for not giving into their egoistic remarks. From now on, anyone who makes me feel like a villain for whatever reason needs to go. I’m not playing mind games with anyone because that’s too immature.

    • @jermeckacovington3959
      @jermeckacovington3959 3 роки тому +10

      I am proud of you! Believe it or not, my previous BF did the exact same thing.

    • @ytusersumone
      @ytusersumone 3 роки тому +8

      Isn't it rather annoying or uncomfortable to be shined upon with a spotlight, instead of just the normal calm, neutrally warm interaction without any fuss?

    • @marihgator
      @marihgator 3 роки тому +1

      Yesss!

    • @cassandras7399
      @cassandras7399 3 роки тому +1

      That’s borderline PD; it overlaps as it’s all cluster B...

    • @tasnimburhanpurwala6055
      @tasnimburhanpurwala6055 3 роки тому

      1

  • @badriyaabdulaziz6958
    @badriyaabdulaziz6958 3 роки тому +763

    ive never seen a comment section so supportive, it helps, and it helps a lot.

    • @Ash-gz9co
      @Ash-gz9co 3 роки тому +19

      I agree. It’s almost like a online support group😊

    • @madhurirathod4217
      @madhurirathod4217 3 роки тому +10

      Coz people here are the one who are beautiful soul

    • @jfaustin1742
      @jfaustin1742 3 роки тому +10

      Yes! I want us to kinda have a meet up lol

    • @annaphillion9269
      @annaphillion9269 3 роки тому +5

      We are in this moment 😂

    • @atanamorell2
      @atanamorell2 3 роки тому +8

      Agree! This channel and the wonderful people commenting have seriously improved my life. Best to you all ❤️

  • @socalfriend6985
    @socalfriend6985 11 місяців тому +76

    Blocked the narcissist and i feel so much better.

    • @grantwithers
      @grantwithers 9 місяців тому +3

      based, but trying to decolonize them from your mind is the second major battle, as I type this she's still in there from three years back only a brief meeting

  • @Sneezy563
    @Sneezy563 3 роки тому +328

    It's not about love its about a need to control.

    • @Shurmash
      @Shurmash 3 роки тому +6

      This is what it's all about.

    • @samanthagirikhanov2796
      @samanthagirikhanov2796 3 роки тому

      Yes! It’s like his “love” for me puts me in an automatic debt to him that I can’t repay but he’ll demand whenever he wants. This is not love, it’s a means of control.

    • @jazbogideon7050
      @jazbogideon7050 2 роки тому +1

      Bingo

  • @mumo9413
    @mumo9413 2 роки тому +1643

    Go SILENT! Never give them another minute of your attention! Never think about them! You did nothing wrong, they did everything wrong!
    Give yourself a limited time to heal (maybe 3months - just a suggestion- set your own timeline- otherwise a Year will go before you know it! That's the mistake I made!)
    Glow up! You've learnt! Then move on!

    • @kynathomas4809
      @kynathomas4809 2 роки тому +36

      Straight, simple and to the point, I love it.
      Thank you. ❤

    • @Yfyffuuggugu
      @Yfyffuuggugu 2 роки тому +22

      Lol I did nothing wrong they did everything sounding like a narcissist yourself

    • @pecanstamped4522
      @pecanstamped4522 2 роки тому +13

      Amen, then you have room for real people in your life.

    • @genesiskravitz8621
      @genesiskravitz8621 2 роки тому +66

      @@Yfyffuuggugu if you don't get the meaning behind that statement in relation to the issue at hand, then you're possibly the problem yourself.

    • @elsiemarina2572
      @elsiemarina2572 2 роки тому +13

      @@genesiskravitz8621 Yes I agree with you..That is exactly what I thought!

  • @hikids102
    @hikids102 3 роки тому +853

    These videos are probably saving my life. Every time I think about getting back with the narcissist I watch one of these videos and adjust my thinking.

    • @LauraGarcia-qs9kw
      @LauraGarcia-qs9kw 3 роки тому +26

      girl…same here..i kicked him out 1 week ago and i feel soooo good..ive been binging on these videos..they are helping me sooo much!!! stay strong!!

    • @fuzzyx2face
      @fuzzyx2face 3 роки тому +10

      Same here, I’m so done with this guy, she often hits the nail on the head describing his behaviour and I see more clearly now

    • @villasoka884
      @villasoka884 2 роки тому +4

      You were in a cult, you were brainwashed. That's what it's like! As soon as you doubt that, time to watch Dr R!

    • @terithompson9711
      @terithompson9711 2 роки тому +2

      Same

    • @loveleennijjar230
      @loveleennijjar230 2 роки тому +1

      same!

  • @cindywannamaker5299
    @cindywannamaker5299 8 місяців тому +35

    Its crazy how much chaos narcissists create in this world! Run baby, run!

    • @BNyaB
      @BNyaB 5 місяців тому +1

      👍👍👍

  • @chadandrews98
    @chadandrews98 3 роки тому +538

    At some point empaths sense the underlying vulnerability of the narcissist and this can cause guilt while trying to escape the toxic effects of the relationship

    • @carolmizelle1317
      @carolmizelle1317 3 роки тому +50

      Yes, it is exactly that guilt that kept me in the relationship long after I knew it had to end.

    • @sonyajohnson6955
      @sonyajohnson6955 3 роки тому +47

      Meeee tooooo. Wasted a lot of years that way. My advice is DO NOT feel sorry for them. They feel nothing for you. Also, the situation hurts everyone who loves you. And think of all the time and energy NPDs suck up that you could be spending on good people, good causes.

    • @lianacollier7064
      @lianacollier7064 3 роки тому +15

      This is so true. But in the bigger picture, I think this gives the narcissist a chance to change. They are shown true love, understanding & care. Will they accept it & change? I believe everyone is given a chance to change, by God. It’s up to them whether they take it x

    • @lianacollier7064
      @lianacollier7064 3 роки тому +8

      - it’s up to us whether we take it.. I think there are different degrees of narcissism.. it’s in all of us to a certain degree

    • @lailatull208
      @lailatull208 3 роки тому +2

      You said a mouthful there Chad!

  • @amiblack8294
    @amiblack8294 2 роки тому +1355

    Folks, you can't set yourself on fire just to keep somebody else warm. Think about that one. Once you get sick enough of the silent treatment when the narcissist doesn't get his/her way, the verbal/emotional abuse, the drama and neverending games, triangulation, gaslighting etc then you'll know that leaving is the right thing to do for yourselves. Good luck to all of you. I already cut ties several years ago and the benefits were almost immediate. Hoping the rest of you see your worth and put yourselves first for a change.

    • @MoniCiji
      @MoniCiji 2 роки тому +9

    • @yvedol6412
      @yvedol6412 2 роки тому

      0

    • @Linda-ki5xh
      @Linda-ki5xh 2 роки тому +29

      Love the phrase' can't set yourself on fire just to keep somebody else warm' think I'll adopt that one if you don't mind! I can confirm that life is so much better without them.

    • @DJ-yj1vg
      @DJ-yj1vg 2 роки тому +4

      So true!

    • @lancemateer6342
      @lancemateer6342 2 роки тому +9

      This has been so hard on me

  • @raventhehermit6288
    @raventhehermit6288 4 роки тому +718

    I left my Narcissist on Christmas Eve, and I have 0 regrets.

    • @tyshaq9286
      @tyshaq9286 4 роки тому +26

      sounds like a good christmas present

    • @SikaR88
      @SikaR88 4 роки тому +19

      I left mine on Boxing Day.

    • @barbaramarshall5271
      @barbaramarshall5271 4 роки тому +9

      Good on you

    • @susanpollitt513
      @susanpollitt513 4 роки тому +20

      I left mine November 8. Blocked him he has tried twice knocking on my flat door i ignored him. Im never going back im happier on my own.

    • @raventhehermit6288
      @raventhehermit6288 4 роки тому +8

      @@susanpollitt513 proud of u girl!!!!

  • @latebloomer7191
    @latebloomer7191 11 місяців тому +33

    Thank you for saying, "the incapacity for intimacy". It's validating my experience.

  • @haley2121
    @haley2121 4 роки тому +716

    I feel so guilty for cutting them off. But she manipulated, gaslit, and discarded me. So I left. And my true friends love me without toxicity. It’s so hard to remember this...thank you for this video.

    • @haley2121
      @haley2121 4 роки тому +16

      @Richard Wilson thank you💗🥺

    • @kennethjenkins1094
      @kennethjenkins1094 4 роки тому +36

      I understand the feeling of guilty. I think it's caused by the trama bonding. When you have the feeling it is hard to understand why you would feel that way with someone that treats you like crap. I don't think I will ever understand why. It's like you have to stay mad in your mind about the things they did to you . To not feel guilty. It's quite a mind fuck!

    • @vibehigh5280
      @vibehigh5280 4 роки тому +25

      The guilt feeling is normal after a few weeks or so for normal people like us who normally don't just cut loose people in our lives. Trust your instinct. If you experienced being manipulated, gaslight and discard, leaving is a rational decision. You don't deserve to be treated that way. We don't deserve to be treated that way . I'm glad you're out from that toxicity.

    • @perrip2355
      @perrip2355 4 роки тому +15

      Please don’t feel guilty at all you’re doing yourself some justice.

    • @rwdchannel2901
      @rwdchannel2901 4 роки тому +30

      If you went to the coffee shop and the employee punched you in the face every day would you feel guilty for not going there anymore? No, because you made a choice to avoid a bad situation. Nothing to feel guilty about.

  • @supermichaelssecondchannel4342
    @supermichaelssecondchannel4342 4 роки тому +366

    You can’t really abandon someone who decides to commit adultery and not be faithful. It makes no sense to stay with someone who goes off with someone else.

    • @judyjones6304
      @judyjones6304 4 роки тому +40

      Yes. They give you stds, huge health problems, mental distress, etc..also financial swindles.

    • @boohoo5750
      @boohoo5750 4 роки тому +7

      Spot on!

    • @kashataylor6430
      @kashataylor6430 4 роки тому +5

      Facts

    • @kynathomas4809
      @kynathomas4809 4 роки тому +8

      The one I knew cheated and had a child on her husband 22 yrs ago. He's remarried for 20 year's happily. She still calls him her husband but hasn't seen or spoken to him in 22 years. She wants him back because none of her relationships has panned out.

    • @oliviajae298
      @oliviajae298 4 роки тому +8

      Trauma bond.

  • @shifarazak2889
    @shifarazak2889 Рік тому +646

    I left a narcissist recently, Im proud of myself

    • @Msloverawfood
      @Msloverawfood Рік тому +11

      I left mine on Valentine's Day.

    • @mikat6026
      @mikat6026 Рік тому +15

      You should be!! Anybody that has the courage to know their worth and walk away is a winner

    • @brandiphillips5775
      @brandiphillips5775 Рік тому +3

      I’m proud of you too!

    • @SwinkMediaHouse
      @SwinkMediaHouse Рік тому +2

      Congratulations.

    • @John-ee5dh
      @John-ee5dh Рік тому

      I think I have narcissistic tendencies too I can go from zero to a hundred in a second

  • @Scratchedrecord-f2n
    @Scratchedrecord-f2n 7 місяців тому +68

    Narcissists are never happy

    • @123howl
      @123howl 3 місяці тому

      I met one recenlt who just constantly found ways to be pissed off at even hobbies hahaha stop looking for problems haha

    • @Siegefya
      @Siegefya 3 місяці тому

      Their social media will definitely say otherwise, they try to make themselves look like the happiest people on the planet. The one I was with at least, had to stop looking at her gross social media.

  • @quintxavier
    @quintxavier 4 роки тому +720

    Just “left” my narcissistic parents for the final time. This was made possible because of the valuable information you gave. Thank you.

    • @sagenosnibor9173
      @sagenosnibor9173 4 роки тому +71

      Both my narc parents discarded me if you can believe that! My mother Hoovers from time to time.
      I cut her off for the final time recently. (New number- blocked her from any form of getting in touch with me again)
      It's sad when it's the parents...

    • @deejames1st
      @deejames1st 4 роки тому +20

      Lmao. My narc ex did the same thing. He completely leaves out the part how it was me that simply packed my bags and left one morning. Leaving him standing there. He tells people he “found out something about me” and that’s why we “could no longer be together”.
      Lmao. Yeah. He found out I was packing my bags one morning and had rented a car to drive away in, and we could no longer be together because I saw him as the liability and liar that he was.

    • @le_th_
      @le_th_ 4 роки тому +3

      Wishing you well on your journey forward, QX Roper-Sirvent

    • @ms.newcomerteacher6554
      @ms.newcomerteacher6554 4 роки тому +12

      Proud of you!

    • @staceymccord9557
      @staceymccord9557 4 роки тому +8

      Good for you.

  • @rakaashok
    @rakaashok 3 роки тому +511

    While they're playing you, they're playing themselves.

    • @miekel8663
      @miekel8663 3 роки тому +9

      Sounds like a line from a rap song. 😆

    • @SharlenesJourney
      @SharlenesJourney 3 роки тому +3

      Amen!!

    • @deborahday1786
      @deborahday1786 3 роки тому +9

      That’s what the singer Prince once said. “When you try to play me, you play yourself.” 💜

    • @kblack9619
      @kblack9619 3 роки тому

      facts

    • @deborahday1786
      @deborahday1786 2 роки тому

      @Beach House Prince said this in an interview with Tavis Smiley. He had on a purple top. It’s here on UA-cam. 😊

  • @sarahwagland1559
    @sarahwagland1559 Рік тому +677

    It's not that they fear abandonment, they want to imprison you and have total control over you. They fear that their prisoner might escape.

    • @brendaedgehill7761
      @brendaedgehill7761 Рік тому +20

      I agree

    • @LuckyOuijaBoy17
      @LuckyOuijaBoy17 Рік тому +11

      Reminds me of powering the exit gates in a game I play called Dead by daylight! Lol 😂 As soon as the killer knows you’re opening a gate they immediately try everything to stop you from even powering the escape.

    • @TMoniq
      @TMoniq Рік тому +14

      Yup! And then, they'll have to find another scapegoat and if not the family turns on each other one-by-one.

    • @AMKmusic96
      @AMKmusic96 Рік тому +1

      My narc mother says she wants me to pack my bags and get out 😂 she just bluffing ?

    • @lala5061
      @lala5061 Рік тому +12

      Yep cuz it does feel like prison that's exactly what it is and they are the warden!

  • @petergriffiinbirdistheword
    @petergriffiinbirdistheword 8 місяців тому +18

    Walking away helped me heal. Its one of the few things I've ever done in my life that's brought me great pride.

  • @kyledrewes6552
    @kyledrewes6552 4 роки тому +1208

    If you discard a narcissist, they will be thinking about you for the rest of their life. They will be overwhelmingly obsessed with you.

    • @amoon8515
      @amoon8515 4 роки тому +77

      Good to know-
      I said see ya on Christmas Day and he went from rage to desperate-
      I was just a prop in his life until o had on opinion or questioned him...he ignored me and gaslighted me and I said...no more

    • @Waffydeerandspicycat
      @Waffydeerandspicycat 4 роки тому +14

      Facts.

    • @SikaR88
      @SikaR88 4 роки тому +3

      Holy!!!!

    • @steffaely
      @steffaely 4 роки тому +136

      Sad. I also heard that they go looking for another prey. They need new supply.

    • @natsdaley9615
      @natsdaley9615 3 роки тому +23

      I dunno about that my ex narc is engaged and moving to the states I dont think he gave me a second thought .... Still as long as hes HAPPY

  • @daisydd1709
    @daisydd1709 3 роки тому +158

    they crave for your attention to be 100% on them and for you to physically be around them all the time, but when you are around they don't care about your need, they don't listen or hear you, and they constantly insult and humiliate you for no reason. I don't understand what pleasure they get out of putting good people into misery.

    • @Tina-je8vl
      @Tina-je8vl 3 роки тому +2

      this!

    • @crueltyfreemakeupheaven6907
      @crueltyfreemakeupheaven6907 3 роки тому +18

      They want to break your spirits so you won't leave them, not because they love you but because THEY actually NEED YOU. That's why they want to convince their partners of it being the other way around, by hurting them into lowering their self esteem.

    • @mariefriedmann3203
      @mariefriedmann3203 3 роки тому +2

      You got it... just like the human traffickers!

  • @sonyav2307
    @sonyav2307 4 роки тому +292

    “No one will ever love you like I did”
    “You will never find a better life than this “, I found love after, and I have a peaceful, happy life after getting rid of him.

    • @sandalkasimi2354
      @sandalkasimi2354 4 роки тому +4

      Spot on I think all of them say that. Plus they say I am so much happier after we broke up. I found a new girlfriend she is so much better than you.

    • @laughoncomedy2923
      @laughoncomedy2923 4 роки тому +6

      It’s a projection

    • @joseenoel8093
      @joseenoel8093 4 роки тому +5

      @@sandalkasimi2354 they're all so textbook, we give them another 10 precious minutes of our lives and they spend it on degrading us some more, that's just dumb as the only way is *up* after having finally rid ourselves of them. 🤦🚮🤸🎠

    • @alleytovar1194
      @alleytovar1194 4 роки тому +2

      This the one*

    • @FutureFendiFsnista
      @FutureFendiFsnista 4 роки тому +3

      We love to see it! I am glad that you found your happiness 🤗

  • @ashsmith1364
    @ashsmith1364 Рік тому +34

    You are so right! My husband threatened divorce twice and told me i can get out one too many times. I finally got fed up with it and told him when you say this it makes me think you’re right. Boy, did he backtrack his statement but it’s too late.

  • @themysticmuse1111
    @themysticmuse1111 3 роки тому +404

    Remember, you were in love with a mirage.
    This wonderful person you painted in your mind,doesn't exist.
    Once you get over the initial sting of the shock, it makes it much easier to keep walking...

    • @Godschild4life123
      @Godschild4life123 3 роки тому +3

      👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

    • @themysticmuse1111
      @themysticmuse1111 3 роки тому +1

      @@siggmundfloyd1858 ❤

    • @bernitacenteno1326
      @bernitacenteno1326 3 роки тому +11

      @@siggmundfloyd1858 You are mistaken. She's not there. It's her false self ONLY, IF SHE'S A NARCISSIST. SHE COPIES YOUR TASTES BECAUSE SHE HAS FEW IF ANY GOOD QUALITIES, PROBABLY, OF HER OWN .

    • @MistyEry
      @MistyEry 3 роки тому +6

      That’s a good illustration. Thankyou.

    • @lherrera2886
      @lherrera2886 3 роки тому +6

      It's all a game that you never knew the rules to because the narcissist makes them up as they go along.

  • @East_L.A_Ivy
    @East_L.A_Ivy 3 роки тому +524

    No time for Narc’s it’s 2021 let’s rise up!

  • @catherinekeddy2816
    @catherinekeddy2816 3 роки тому +339

    They shut off completey when they believe they can no longer feed off you.

    • @libraempress2069
      @libraempress2069 3 роки тому +17

      Omg that’s what I’m did just totally acts like he doesn’t know me if I message him he will respond sometimes ignore very cold heartless people.

    • @morgansymens9233
      @morgansymens9233 3 роки тому +2

      this right here.

    • @Peepers2
      @Peepers2 3 роки тому +2

      Absolutely true...you don’t exist.

    • @Divineceylo
      @Divineceylo 3 роки тому

      @@libraempress2069 exactly

    • @michellegray9806
      @michellegray9806 3 роки тому

      Yes,I agree totally.

  • @Emeryrose17
    @Emeryrose17 Рік тому +125

    I’m left my narcissist and my anxiety levels are much normal now and my mental health is better my money is going back up I’m getting better luck 🍀 now with anything I do ❤

    • @candancehorne138
      @candancehorne138 9 місяців тому

      Smh that's what I'm trying to do now 😢Everything u just said

    • @jgems4612
      @jgems4612 6 місяців тому +1

      You changed the circumstances, changed your energy. Your life is bound to changes, that's better than luck

  • @cstevens8788
    @cstevens8788 4 роки тому +336

    "You really think you're going to make it without me?" Spot on. Yes, I am actually doing quite well. 😊✌️

    • @jamesmcginn8874
      @jamesmcginn8874 4 роки тому +5

      Same here--i had 23 years of--all she wanted was money--i was number 3 on her list--her dad was number 1 and (wait for it )---the CAT was number 2--go figure that one .

    • @dsma06
      @dsma06 4 роки тому +4

      I tell him "I'd rather live under a bridge, than spend one more day with you."

    • @gypsierose3611
      @gypsierose3611 4 роки тому

      Lol yup. And child support is gonna suck him dry. So glad the county gis after them

    • @Krystal620
      @Krystal620 4 роки тому +2

      @@jamesmcginn8874 Of course, the Narcissist must Triangulate any way they can. My Narc uses the dog the same way. Giving her all of his attention and affection. Telling me the dog will always come first, to make sure I know my place in his heart. He lives in my home, and would be homeless if not for me. He has lived on my couch for 317 days now. He is looking for work, and then he is to move out. Every day I feel rejection from him. He shames me for my needs, in my own hone. 7.5 years later with him, we barely speak with each other. We ignore each other mostly.He makes sure to tell me he is taking the dog with him when he moves. The dog gives me affection, and I love her very much. The Narc wants create pain through this Triangulation. The Narc will always be triggered to Triangulate

    • @Kellethorn
      @Kellethorn 4 роки тому +5

      My wife and I are married just over a year. Her parents threw the entire narcissistic book at her just before we got married.
      They cut her off financially (they were paying her tuition/schooling) while we were dating (explicitly saying they would pay again once she had broken up with me), dialed the emotional abuse to an 11, blackmailed her into going on multiple "family trips" where they tried to "deprogram" her and convince her to break up.
      Long story short, we've been married a little over a year, have a wonderful relationship, are completely financially independent from them, she has a job as a teacher in a highly competitive district.
      And she completely severed them months ago.
      Never been happier.
      Anyway, I just 100% related to your comment there.
      "You really think you're going to make it without me?"
      *looks around*
      "Yeah I think I'll take my chances."
      Lol

  • @TheRealCantaraBella
    @TheRealCantaraBella 3 роки тому +315

    I walked so glad. I was homeless in my car, but finally had peace of mind

    • @dalidzucheredi2495
      @dalidzucheredi2495 3 роки тому +30

      You can buy a house ... you can't buy your sanity

    • @kcole5177
      @kcole5177 3 роки тому +4

      🎯INDEED!!!💯

    • @debrasuranyi9393
      @debrasuranyi9393 3 роки тому +19

      Living in a hotel. Better than the Rollercoaster of abuse.

    • @kcole5177
      @kcole5177 3 роки тому +6

      @@debrasuranyi9393 🎯😌🤦FACTS!

    • @magicallyme96
      @magicallyme96 3 роки тому +6

      Nah but foreal I feel y’all in the comments! 💯💯 Peace and Love everyone 🌸

  • @woopiemiddleman8232
    @woopiemiddleman8232 4 роки тому +202

    That’s why they cowardly discard you first.

  • @latinamama1982
    @latinamama1982 Рік тому +51

    I am filing for a divorce from my 15 year Narcissistic husband. We have 4 young kids and 2 have Autism and special needs. I am so utterly heartbroken, but this has to be done. I cannot live this way anymore. This video is such an inspiration. Exactly how he is. And honestly, he was not always this way. He got his way about 10 years ago, worse and worse and angry.

    • @keithwittman4741
      @keithwittman4741 Рік тому +1

      I learned about 1.5 years prior to my wife leaving me. I studied hard and desperately searching for when the true narcissistic behavior started in her. She was the one that gave me the awnser!
      She had said, "You haven't been the same since mom died "(her mom,5 years prior.)
      Now I see ,I haven't been the same in her eyes since then. I believe her mother,talking on a daily basis, was my wife's narcissistic regulation therapy. Helping to guide her through her overthinking and negativity. The small hurtful things that she would laugh off have always been there. The 20 years together. It was until her mom died that she really started getting out of control and gaslighting me, going silent, doing whatever she wanted. I questioned her about why she would tell people that I was a bad father and husband ,but it was all denied, and she would change the subject, and/or turn it into a screaming match. Only good thing to come out of that was our son recalling her project something she had done onto me.
      His eyes were opened to her evil narcissistic behavior. I don't know how I would have made it these past 2 years without him by my side,understanding what truly is going on.
      She worked for years on her smear campaign. Has everyone believing I am the one to blame.😢
      Well, I'm better off without friends who don't look into false accusations!
      Better off without a narcissist too.
      Took 5 days to realize how much stress and anxiety she had put on me, and then I knew... No More! I don't want her back, even if she goes to therapy. I love her ,and wish her the best.
      The mental and emotional tolls are not worth the part-time,conditional love she would give.💔

    • @theenchantress1401
      @theenchantress1401 11 місяців тому +2

      I hope your doing fine i know how you feel i left my husband 2 years ago we have 1 Child but the Drama does not stop because of the child... i hope your not dealing with the same!

  • @ilgenis
    @ilgenis 4 роки тому +290

    I just escaped from a narcissictic relationship. Never felt so great before in a long time.

    • @monikaazariah9237
      @monikaazariah9237 3 роки тому +1

      I'm still trying....it's my mother in law ...so I'm slowly abandoning herm.. it's complicated

    • @daphneeversole2937
      @daphneeversole2937 3 роки тому +1

      I didn't know what a narssasist was until about a years or so ago. Once I did everything made since. I was married was 18 yrs to my high school sweet heart. The last time he left me and our kids, he said he wanted a divorce. So about that time was when I figured out what he was, so I said meet me at the courthouse. He has yet to sign papers and I had to get a lawyer. It's awful!

  • @BenSwagnerd
    @BenSwagnerd 3 роки тому +353

    I’ve cut out 4 narcissists from my life in the last week just by setting some simple boundaries. Feels incredible. I’m a narcissist magnet but I’ve got boundaries now. They don’t get to use me anymore

    • @zahrahosam8974
      @zahrahosam8974 3 роки тому +27

      Me too.. I am a narcissist magnet... I am serounded by them😂.. Empath.. but I cut all of them off by putting very strong boundaries.. Love myself first don't give them bigger than their value

    • @jeem8760
      @jeem8760 3 роки тому +7

      Same here, sucks to be a narc magnet but then we must grow through what go through. Stronger! Cheers to this newfound freedom!

    • @Antonchigurh893
      @Antonchigurh893 3 роки тому +13

      I'm starting to think most of us narcissist magnets are empaths. Boundaries is definitely key. Something I wished I develop sooner.

    • @spiritualni
      @spiritualni 3 роки тому +2

      👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

    • @sadafayub4516
      @sadafayub4516 3 роки тому +6

      I am an empath too but I don’t understand how to not be that. It’s difficult to not put the need of others before yours. A narc will find it unimaginable but I hope and wish someone will understand. :(

  • @Προκείμενον
    @Προκείμενον 4 роки тому +629

    "If you leave me I will smear you everywhere." This was the most miserable thing I ever witnessed in my whole life. I went No Contact anyway.
    Edit 03-07-21: Thanks for all the likes. Now I'm a coach to help people who just came out of toxic relationships. There's almost always a good side in a bad destiny.

    • @ka8990
      @ka8990 4 роки тому +9

      Yikes 🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢

    • @chargennaro976
      @chargennaro976 4 роки тому +34

      This is exactly what has happened with my narcissist personality sister, I couldn't take it anymore the verbal abuse the name calling the physical assaults. Finally I did no contact and she went around telling everyone that she had to discard me. But I'm the only one that knows the truth. And I guess that's all that matters. Still bothers me, but I do have a lot more peace in my life

    • @goldieh7121
      @goldieh7121 4 роки тому +34

      After leaving my ex, i found out he had been smearing me since we began dating, so basically for 30 years. So, best to leave ASAP. Fewer people will be poisoned against you in the long run. Also, beware of new friends or dates that talk bad about others.

    • @mamalex5
      @mamalex5 4 роки тому +7

      Hugs - that's horrifying.

    • @TT-ls1yz
      @TT-ls1yz 4 роки тому +5

      Smart you 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽😍😍😍

  • @calliefisher8558
    @calliefisher8558 Рік тому +33

    I left my narc almost 3 years ago after 2 years of abuse. Best thing I could have ever done! ❤

  • @judithdooley6153
    @judithdooley6153 2 роки тому +619

    I left a narcissistic parent and my life improved dramatically. There were many times I missed my parents, but I would rremind myself of how two or three hours with them would send me into days, even weeks, of depression.

    • @HeatherHolt
      @HeatherHolt 2 роки тому +30

      Wow both of your parents were narcs?? Damn, I’m sorry. My mother is the epitome of narcissist behavior and BPD but my father is my rock. He apologizes to me all the time for “picking such a horrible mother” but I tell him he was a victim of her as well and he luckily got away as soon as he could (I was six months old). Sadly he tried to get full custody of me but the courts of course usually side with the mother and she made up lies that HE was the abusive one. So I was used as a pawn by her to terrorize my dad for leaving her. She did the same with my little brother and his father except the accusations became about sexual abuse (totally untrue) instead of physical and he lost his son at 3 years old and has never seen or heard from him since. We weren’t even allowed to say his fathers name in our household.
      Anyways. Seeing the lengths she went to to keep custody away from my brothers dad just reinforced the anger in me for what she did to my own father. Thankfully he never gave up no matter how hard it got and how many times she tried to have him put in jail or get crazy amounts of child support from him in order to break him and make him sign away rights. He never did. And now in my 30s with my own child, I appreciate him and his sacrifice more and more.

    • @volume2517
      @volume2517 2 роки тому +12

      I'm trying to leave and go NC on my parent(s) as well. I find myself remembering that what I actually miss is the few times in in our lives when they were nice. And the worst thing I have to accept is that I miss having the love of decent parents. And I'll never have that no matter much love I give or happiness and laughter I try to bring to the non- relationships. I'm ignored or yelled at or they stare at me with their mean facial expressions. They both interrupt me and talk over me as soon as I try to speak to them. Legitimately, I open my mouth and boom! They're talking to me or over me about something completely different. I tried to tell them that a tree was dropping huge branches and had some dangling loose above because they take their little dog around it to go potty and they went off on me. I was just looking out for them, letting them know it was a dangerous spot to stand in but my mom said, "You're always complaining!!" Because I simply tell them when I see broken tree branches hanging in trees or wet floor signs or a small sink hole in their yard that they aren't aware of yet. Not kidding.
      So, I finally realized that I miss something that's never been there no matter how hard I work to receive it. And having a mother who's so jealous of you that you can't even have a conversation with your father (who's been afraid of her, let her brainwash him and enabled her for 50+ years). It's a huge, heartbreaking deal to me. I gotta get outta here. I wish I could turn off my empathy sometimes. It's wasting my life.

    • @judithdooley6153
      @judithdooley6153 2 роки тому +9

      @@HeatherHolt My father was a narcissist and my mother was his enabler.

    • @lorileon2816
      @lorileon2816 2 роки тому +1

      @@judithdooley6153 likewise

    • @charlivingston5084
      @charlivingston5084 2 роки тому +15

      I have re-entered my relationship with my toxic mother. It’s caused days of depression and moodiness. I have talked with her about boundaries but there is only so much you can do with an 86 year old woman. I am guilty of some learned behavior but I’ve worked on myself and realized I had to change. I just need to find healthy ways of coping.

  • @funlovinbloke6266
    @funlovinbloke6266 4 роки тому +395

    When you abandon the narcissist get ready for blame, insults, the victim game.
    You are the enemy and have to pay for it.

    • @angeladawn4855
      @angeladawn4855 4 роки тому +20

      I'm going through this with my mom right now. I've tried cutting her off multiple times in the past, and something always makes me feel obligated to come around. I told her I'm done, and she literally drove 5 hours to go play victim and have a pity party with her sisters. I have to tell myself not to care of they believe her because it makes me feel like I have to defend myself, and she's wanting that to make me look worse in her story.

    • @funlovinbloke6266
      @funlovinbloke6266 4 роки тому +8

      @@angeladawn4855 Good luck, you will succeed and overcome.

    • @Jackgritty28
      @Jackgritty28 4 роки тому +3

      The narcissist feels victimised,show your sympathy🆘

    • @boohoo5750
      @boohoo5750 4 роки тому +8

      Angela Dawn you speak my truth! I was cut off by my Nac mother who’s hateful ways would never change! Tremendous feelings of abandonment are never fun. Always knowing, if she came back into my life, she pick up right where she left off. Always remember that, she will not change her ways. It’s a choice to be happy, I choose happy for myself. With bouts of all of it is the past. Remember, you can be in the movie that’s a nightmare, or you can watch it. Keep your power you’re doing great you’re making steps to get where you need to be. It’s heart wrenching! In the end she sent a message to me through a lawyer nothing was left in my family’s estate. Well not to me, LOL and It all, went to my niece. Jokes on her. I could make it on my own and always have. I still choose to keep my peace of mind. Oh by the way, being raised by a narc, left me with a whole bunch of friends, yes you guessed it most of them narcs. I know longer keep in touch with three of them. My relationships with them were longer than they were with my mother. Stepping stones Along the path of life.

    • @vanessanoronha2570
      @vanessanoronha2570 4 роки тому +3

      @@angeladawn4855 hi! i am in the same boat as you! we have to stay strong and be ready to get portrayed as the bad guy in their story. regardless if others believe them or not, we need to maintain our boundaries for our mental health

  • @maureenwright5670
    @maureenwright5670 3 роки тому +540

    This is why it's always good to make sure you're not dependent on anyone. You can kick a narcissist out of your life with no shame or regret if you don't need them at all.

    • @liamcronin8110
      @liamcronin8110 2 роки тому +7

      If you don't need them you can kick them out.
      That sounds pretty narcissistic tbh lady

    • @maureenwright5670
      @maureenwright5670 2 роки тому +29

      @@liamcronin8110 why keep someone that will cause you so much pain and do lots of emotional damage around you if you can get rid of them? sounds pretty stupid man

    • @svst3767
      @svst3767 2 роки тому +2

      @@maureenwright5670 you’ve some serious issues

    • @TengouX
      @TengouX 2 роки тому +16

      @@svst3767 You think you can diagnose a person's mental state from a single comment they've written? Without having an actual conversation with the person or even seeing them? Not even professional psychologists can do that, nor even should they attempt it.

    • @svst3767
      @svst3767 2 роки тому +2

      @@TengouX when did I diagnose?

  • @MacJank7
    @MacJank7 Рік тому +32

    The narcissists I’ve had in my life do not know what love is, only convenience.

  • @sherryweeks5956
    @sherryweeks5956 2 роки тому +213

    I reiterate, DO NOT respond. If they feel rejected, they brought it on themselves. Stand strong, guys. Don't cave.

    • @cha9165
      @cha9165 2 роки тому +1

      I agree with you and im a 'weeks' too. We are wise!! Haha have a great day!

    • @SuzyQpip
      @SuzyQpip 2 роки тому +2

      I agree!! I’ve had to learn the lesson a trillion times with ‘family’ that ANY response, of any kind will be used against you! So will no response at all, especially when they send out their flying monkeys, and they don’t deserve a response either!

    • @locksanahdelude6700
      @locksanahdelude6700 2 роки тому +4

      Thank you for this comment. I left mine today and hours later I felt guilty, but I knew deep down it is wrong to go back so I’m standing strong.

    • @samrinslovely
      @samrinslovely 2 роки тому +2

      I am going to leave my husband, I am so scared as he had threatened me with suicide if I ever left him, or he would become an alcoholic or he will leave his job. He says he loves me so much but his actions doesn't match. This is physically making me sick.

    • @seanlehman244
      @seanlehman244 2 роки тому

      Best decision was not to respond. She was out of control, but I had her blocked so she couldn’t reach me. This malignant narcissist stole my son’s brand new Go-Pro, my Hey Dude’s shoes (brand new); and my “Where the Crawdads Sing.”

  • @EscapingTheMadness
    @EscapingTheMadness 3 роки тому +248

    The amount of survivors are on the rise it’s really sad!! This needs to be nipped in the bud. Congratulations 🥳 for anyone who is recovering from narcissist abuse 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾❤️

    • @tammyfitzgerald5336
      @tammyfitzgerald5336 6 місяців тому

      Half the USA narcissist ever job men and women rich and poor ❤❤❤❤

  • @mysterywriter888
    @mysterywriter888 3 роки тому +370

    I was married to one. Once he had a tummy ache so I was required to sit with him by the bed. I heard the ice cream man so I went outside to get an ice cream. He said I abandoned him and whined about it for the next 17 years until finally I left him. Yet when I had SIX gall bladder attacks and laid on the bathroom floor in agony thinking I was dying he came by, looked in and said "oh, you have a tummy ache?" and walked off to watch TV. It took my sister calling me during one of the attacks to call an ambulance and get me to the hospital, I am lucky now that I finally met a man who is compassionate and a giver. I am not used to being a receiver yet but it sure is nice!! You can imagine how much I appreciate this man's kind heart!

    • @jillpeacock4540
      @jillpeacock4540 3 роки тому +5

      I have a man now. Who is so good to me. He's great. But there's one big problem. He is taking female hormones now. Possibly sex change. Depending on money. Yeah. Double edge sword. How do I do it.

    • @KiLLED5639
      @KiLLED5639 3 роки тому +17

      @@jillpeacock4540 you have to treat like it is. You were into the relationship because that person was a man. You are a female who is attracted to men (correct me if I'm wrong). This person having a sex change, changes this. Maybe you two can be friends but I don't think a relationship with a female is what you're looking for (once again correct me if I'm wrong).
      Don't feel guilted into the relationship because of so called love. Love has many forms but a romantic relationship requires sex and this person won't be able to give it to you as well as children if you're looking for that in the future.

    • @empresssk
      @empresssk 3 роки тому +10

      @@jillpeacock4540 Agreeing with the above commenter. That person is changing so you honestly have to assess whether you want to [become] that change as well or stay as you are (which in this case, is liking only men). Some couples break up over this and remain friends because the love does not evaporate, other couples stay together and redefine their relationship based on this sex change. Please make sure to honor yourself and your desires and avoid people pleasing. This is obviously going to be a delicate matter going forward..

    • @Joe-to8og
      @Joe-to8og 3 роки тому +10

      @@jillpeacock4540 This took a strange turn. lol

    • @GodsChosenMekAmoR
      @GodsChosenMekAmoR 3 роки тому +6

      Happened to me on quite a few occassions. I still didn't put it all together until later and feel the hurt of this man was SO SELFISHHHHHHHHHHHH. Yet prides himself on always being there for me and I never supporteed him. He would be at the hospital I was there, he fell off a ladder and broke his back bone I took care of him, he gets a virus I take care of the whole house, him, and quarantine and if I got sick he only would give me one day before starting an argument or leaving me. I am slowly starting to HAVE A STRONG DISLIKE FOR HIM as these things come flooding back.

  • @E_Marv
    @E_Marv Рік тому +35

    I left one recently in the early part of the relationship. The manipulation, games, and self-centered behaviors weren't going to change and weren't going to work for/with me.✌🏾 This video was extremely accurate!

    • @lala5061
      @lala5061 Рік тому

      🤗 im proud of u

  • @dewilew2137
    @dewilew2137 4 роки тому +320

    Blocked mine on 10 October, haven’t looked back. He’s attempted contact twice through different social media, I read the message, then blocked him there too. The first week or so was hard, but I feel incredible now.

    • @godzillamanstreb524
      @godzillamanstreb524 4 роки тому +7

      Proud of you‼️💯💯it does feel so much better 😀

    • @dewilew2137
      @dewilew2137 4 роки тому +3

      Godzilla man streb thank you! ❤️

    • @pamt3130
      @pamt3130 4 роки тому +19

      Blocked him on jan 2020, I blocked him frm everywhere, I received an email yesterday saying that he still misses me. But I ve no contact with him. So difficult but it’s for a better future...👍 all the best sister

    • @laurenelise5956
      @laurenelise5956 4 роки тому +9

      We blocked around the same time! I definitely feel sooo much better without this person In my life

    • @cleanesthandsvscleaningsup5563
      @cleanesthandsvscleaningsup5563 4 роки тому +5

      great job dont ever look back keep on pushin forward

  • @grandma1776
    @grandma1776 3 роки тому +366

    After years of hearing “you don’t love me”, “you don’t want to be here” every time he couldn’t get his way... I finally left. The peace and joy I felt when I unlocked the door to my new apartment was the BEST feeling ever!!! I knew he wasn’t going to be on the other side!!!

    • @kimberlyceulemans6015
      @kimberlyceulemans6015 3 роки тому +11

      It's so frustrating to hear that all the time. My mother was always like "You'll leave me when you turn 18" "You don't want to be here, I see it" etc.
      And so I didn't want to give her that pleasure, but when I told my teacher (who also has a narcistic partner) she said 'You shouldn't think about not pleasing them. You have to think about yourself'
      And now I don't have contact with her for already 1 month ^^
      I am extremely happy you are safe now!!

    • @Yemusical
      @Yemusical 3 роки тому +8

      That’s going to be me. I can’t wait 😛

    • @cbgearypnw25
      @cbgearypnw25 3 роки тому +3

      Mine used the exact same words

    • @denisejkillick8591
      @denisejkillick8591 3 роки тому +1

      Good for you!!!

    • @mayalibre
      @mayalibre 3 роки тому +9

      It is SUCH a clue, that we should recognize more! When ANYONE says "you this," or "you that" -- as if they have the godlike ability to walk into your head or heart, look around, then come back and tell you what's there -- you're dealing with a controller, narcissist and megalomaniac. NO ONE has the ability to tell you what you think or feel, or what your thoughts or motivations are. It's NONSENSE. Adults report THEIR OWN thoughts and feelings. They don't pretend to know the thoughts or feelings of others. If they want to know what someone else thinks or feels they ASK -- they don't tell. This is worth remembering now ANYTIME you hear someone say things like "you're just jealous," "you need to xyz," "you don't know what you're talking about," etc. Unless they preface those statements with " THINK..." or "I BELIEVE..." -- in other words owning their own opinions -- then they are just playing God.

  • @agencyeditor8379
    @agencyeditor8379 4 роки тому +335

    THAT’S WHY.... you never tell them you’re leaving. You just leave. So interesting the these people are so brutal with others yet so delicate themselves.

    • @d.l831
      @d.l831 4 роки тому +65

      Almost worse is that they expect YOU to treat them like fine China while they’re the bull in your shop

    • @zeilaporto9504
      @zeilaporto9504 4 роки тому +15

      True. I live with my narc mom for 15 years and the only "little better" way to travel or have a day off is to tell her only hours before leaving. When I m back miserable cold shoulders everytime ×_×

    • @lucy.1471
      @lucy.1471 4 роки тому +2

      👍👍👍👍

    • @noirfit9721
      @noirfit9721 4 роки тому +17

      It was hard for me to do but I had to do this in my marriage. He would get so angry, didn’t want counseling, was controlling and always threatened to kill me with cyanide. I was afraid to eat anything in the house!!! On top of being a narc, he was clinically diagnosed with schizophrenia and felt that he was a sociopath (his words). Leaving him felt like I was escaping a war zone. I hid out for months at various family members home, had to change phone numbers, can’t access social media since he has made several accounts to harass me, blocked him through email even! It’s been exhausting and he refuses to sign the papers. I’m waiting on a miracle

    • @juliemiller4461
      @juliemiller4461 4 роки тому +11

      They are insane

  • @Thespiritleads777
    @Thespiritleads777 Рік тому +28

    My dad kept telling my mom “the day we divorce” until my mom told him “you got one month to get your stuff together and leave. I won’t ruin my daughters’ Christmas but you leave right after.” He was flabbergasted! He couldn’t believe she told him to get out!