I’m Hung Up on Her Sexual History (Can I Forgive Her?)
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- Опубліковано 12 січ 2023
- I’m Hung Up on Her Sexual History (Can I Forgive Her?)
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There's nothing wrong with wanting someone who doesn't treat sex casually. And the fact that she lied about it is a huge red flag. Dude needs to go find someone else who matches his values.
This is a very good response! You make sense David!!
You mean who matches with his body count… which means less count than him?😂
@@phc14 which means outside the US and UK. I would laugh if it wasn’t so sad.
She lied because she knew he would judge her (she was right) if he knew the truth. HE was wrong for asking the question because no answer would have been the right one. She would either have had sex with too many men or too few. That's why no woman in her right mind should answer that question because I guarantee you that when an argument comes up, the man will call her a whore, "Ho" or the C word. He will NEVER let her forget it. She needs to move on to a man who thinks their future together is more important than her past. He's slept with many women, so he's not in a position to judge her. Men want sexually experienced virgins! . A woman's value isn't measured by her "body count". She's a human being, not a used car! BTW, what about all those women this guy slept with? Are they now damaged goods?
Then he shouldn’t be wanting to propose!
Accept her completely or break up with her. Those are the only 2 options that are fair to you and her.
That's easier said than done ...
@@nellymiller7669 no it’s not, stop being selfish. If he stays it leads to resentment. He needs to get out and be done.
@@nellymiller7669 is it really? It's only been 3 months
Accepting is a process not a decision made once.
Break up.
She threw out the big number in a fight to tell you she can get anyone and doesn’t need you, run!
Wrong, she threw out a low number to not scare him away. Women always lie on the low side about sexual partners, so they don’t seem like whores. Haven’t you heard the formula that you take the number of partners that a woman tells you, multiply it by 3 and subtract 7 to get the real number. For men, divide by 2 - because men over inflate their number (if they feel like they need to lie) because they want to seem like a stud. You’re right about one thing, RUN!
You did a better job breaking this down. Better than the host, but he tends to be cuckish at times .
Using your sexual past to hurt someone else is one of the most shallow, backwards and disgusting things ive ever heard. What an absolute vile human. I hope he finds someone worthy
@@isaactrujillo76completely agree. What he should be saying is that she is completely incapable of pair bonding with him. Sex means nothing to her, she is a rotten promiscuous woman. Just because she is insane in bed does not mean she is wife material. he should use her for sex only. Marrying this woman would end in lifetime alimony and probably figuring out his future kids aren’t his. Hell, she sounds like the kind of woman who would cuck him to his face when he wouldn’t buy her a new Chanel bag. She has ZERO respect for him. If she respected him she would have never brought up her number. He is the nice guy she is settling with.
She can get any guy to smash. Not commit.
If someone I'm dating lies straight to my face about something I care deeply about, we are done relationship is over!
The man need to listen to his instinct, there is a good chance he won’t be the best she ever had and a single thought from her “I’m I settling” will destroy the man. He need to listen to his gut and let her out for the streets. It’s not his insecurities, it’s his instincts protecting him from a high chance of failure. Man, listen to your instincts it took is millions of years to develop that. You can’t and should not make a house wife out of a street queen! Terrible advise from the doctor on this case, dude clearly giving up his commitment in 3 month while his gut is trying to protect him
Yea every single woman lies about that and rightfully so. Why do you deeply care about her previous relationships? Do you admit it when was the last time you watched p o r n ?
Of course you don't!
I watched porn yesterday around 12 some 1v1's and some gangbangs @@timmytee734
@@timmytee734 don't project your insecurities and lack of integrity on others, people are different and relationships require effort and compromise. If one person is unwilling to divulge information that the other needs to be comfortable to be intimate with them or to commit to them long-term, they are culturally incompatible. A woman who feels the need to be dishonest about her past is trying to ingratiate herself with a man she does not belong with. A man who does not care will not ask.
@@AIRFGC I'm happily married with zero insecurities. My husband never asked me that question and if he did, I would have lied and life goes on.
It is your fault that women are not honest about this question. Your insecurities ruin the relationship so they lie. Like I said, all men lie about watching p o r n, so what are you whining about?
The only reason why it's important to you is because you are a very weak insecure male.
Proposing after 3 months? No, just no! And the fact that they’re already fighting and during the fight she admits that she’s slept with more people than she initially told him. How can you trust someone that’s already lied and brought up her body count during a fight to hurt you?
Excellent point about the fighting. It doesn't seem like they are compatible.
why does the body count even matter?
@@thexorode It can definitely be a bit of a red flag. Can indicate promiscuity, unfaithfulness, or underlying mental health issues, low self esteem issues. Makes you also wonder why they person could not work out with any of their other past partners, or what drew them to partners who were not compatible, or what her risk tolerance is, or if she is more impulsive than average. Then there is also the part where you might start to compare yourself to her past partners, wonder if she's the same way with other guys, Wonder if you're actually special to her or has she developed a routine that she uses on each guy. Then you wonder if other ppl view her with respect, will people that know her or who have been with her disrespect you and her because of her sexual history, does she have other guys in her phonebook ready to hit her up etc. Our actions, even the ones of our past reflect our character and who we are in the present.
@@thexorode it matters because I'm not settling for a man-whore. If you're "dicking" 50, 60, 100+ women, you're looking for some sort of fulfillment that I can't help you with. Get that addiction under control and then we can reconvene.
Tbh I don’t know why you’d owe complete honesty to someone you barely just met lol in my opinion if I withhold information is because I don’t know you or trust you that well
Are we not going to address the fact that she tried to weaponize her number against him in an argument? That is a remarkably shitty thing to do and is a big red flag.
Which is why men refuse to be with a women long term that had an extensive past. A promiscuous woman is the biggest red flag and the most obvious tell that she is not fit for a relationship, especially with a man that values himself.
That girl is a 304 and should be on the streets asap
Her defensive position tells me that her body count is even higher than she stated. She was the town bicycle, everyone got a free ride. And now he's got what's left. Lol
Maybe it's because he keeps using that against her? Have you thought about that, the dude is a gas lighting control freak
@@sydguitar99Everyone wants control, he just needs to find someone that better align with his views on sex. I don’t know why most women try to shame men for wanting someone with a less promiscuous pass.
Oh.. and she threw her high body count in your face in an argument… that’s mad toxic bro. She’s trying to make you feel insecure and insignificant. She will break you down over time bro, 100%. You’ll be alone in fetal position in a world of tears, and much poorer, before you know it
It is possible the HE brought it up and accused her or nagged her - and she admitted to more. We co not know whether she weaponized it. John should have asked deeper questions, because IF she weaponized it (instead of letting it slip after he pesters her) it is a bad sign.
Facts
Spotted the insecure dude
@@alcyonaeAllowing a promiscuous woman to disrespect you like this is insecure? Do you understand the meaning of the word? A man who is secure would walk away in the knowledge that he deserves better and will find better. Marriages with promiscuous do not last as they are almost always incapable of pair bonding or being faithful… there’s psychological reason they were giving their body to so many men in the first place
@@lorenzom8769do you hold the man to the same standard?
She had her fun. Now you're the beta provider shes planning to make a retirement plan out of. Run.
100%
Yep! That's exactly what's going on
Call me crazy but if someone lies to you about their body count and then uses that lie during an argument and it bothers you, probably not ready to be married.
And neither is she. Starting off with a lie is a great way for any relationship to go south fast.
The term, Body count, is absolutely and disgustingly offensive. It's just another euphemism to justify the term "sl*t" and "wh*re". Also, I'm not a "body" to a past sexual partner. A body is something that lacks humanity, a dead person, a thing without a soul. I am not a "body" and my ex is not a "body". They are sentient human beings.
Body count is NONE of anyone else's business. Period.
@@MissteriousMisstress so say its not your business don't lie about it
@@MissteriousMisstress It sounds like she was a sugar baby as he mentioned that she had expensive sexual experiences.
“Don’t save her. She don’t wanna be saved.”
I got that too. He wants to save her
@@hollystiener16 She's probably more attractive than who he's dated. He's an introvert with control issues and a saviour complex. She lacks impulse control, doesn't respect herself and is petty.
😂
@@hollystiener16 he’s emotionally archaic
@@jenniferlloyd9574Nothing to do with attractiveness, a woman with a high body count will hurt the man that loves them even though they don’t mean it. The word whore exists for a reason. Some junkies don’t realise what heroin does to them until it’s to late.
As a woman she’s a red flag.
They both are lol
I went through this in my past relationship. My ex told me about her past experiences, her number, and how close to the time that we met those events happened.
It was torture. I couldn’t stop thinking about it every day we were together. Even if I tried to focus on the good and think about the future, the images and the fantasy of what I thought happened haunted me in a way that it was impossible to ignore.
Take into account that if you’re not with the right person, it’s also a matter of trust and not just the sexual history itself.
At the end of it all, I had to accept that I wasn’t okay with it instead of gaslighting myself. Anyone reading this message, if you’re not okay with the sexual history of your partner, that’s the bottom line. There’s no convincing yourself or forgetting that it bothers you. And anyone that tells you that you shouldn’t have a problem with it is someone who’s intellectually immature. Take some time alone, distance yourself, grow as an individual to where naturally those things don’t affect you or you just meet the right person.
I broke up with my ex and it was the best decision I made. She’s not damaged goods, she does deserve love. But we weren’t right for each other and I didn’t have to force myself for that long to ignore something that genuinely and negatively affected me.
3 months and trying to propose already? This is why the divorce rate is 50%
3 months might be somewhat quick but many go on for years. Paint or get off the ladder.
Red flag
Disagree
He said "courtship". The basis of courtship is rush.
Facts. 3 months and he wants to wife her but I’m willing to bet big money another woman who may not look exactly like what he wants he will drag her through years and years dangling a ring 😂
She sounds really toxic to be throwing a "BTW I lied to you, I slept with even more people" during an argument. How does that even play into her argument?
Exactly. And she’s going to do it again in any future fights if she’s already done it once. I guess a positive would be that sometime in the next decade or so she might actually get close to the number that she’s actually slept.
She already lying n being petty.. LEAVE
She sounds really immature and lacking in impulse control.
@@jenniferlloyd9574 yeah, we can't really assume any of that from this one video, unless someone can point to the specific place where I may have missed it. Just because they had an argument in a brand new relationship doesn't really mean anything. The host was right on when he said that his facial expressions and body language told her SO much when she first told him her "body count", which BTW is stupid, so I can understand her point of view in this.
i was waiting for The Doctor to address this. he didnt.
His leniency when assessing women seems real bias and dangerous for many men who are looking for his guidance. She lied to you, gaslighted you, and weaponized her experiences. This is just the beginning. It will magnify.
Dude said it was about power and dominance and not the body count??? Like WHAT THE HELL
Yeah the Dr is really bad for that.
I've noticed the bias in a few videos too
@@adrian3843ify I looked thru his vids cuz they kept getting recommended to me and he gives horrible advice to men dealing with terrible women and even worse advice to women who are terrible to their man.
In one video he said to a women that she should give her man a road map to getting her more sexually interested in him cuz she hasn’t been sexually attracted to him in decades like what? How this guy get so many views
Honestly looking at any male channel with a female dominated audience always has bias for women. This man basically told another man caller who’s wife cheated on him to just get 3 jobs and man up
Throwing the real number in his face during an argument is actually worse than her past. It’s a toxic way to fight and the relationship can’t last fighting like that.
Yes
Yes it is. Which could also be an indication of a toxic sexual history.
Not to mention just plain odd and gross..like as a woman you don't brag about how many men you've slept with..ESPECIALLY if your count is high and your saying it to your boyfriend!! What the hell
If you can't deal with her "horrible" past, then don't marry her. Probably you are simply not made for each other.
Made for each other?
She was not "made" a whore. That's a lack of morals, unhealthy past, and no self control.
No two people are "made for each other."
I would say like the doctor said, she is infatuated with her. She obviously is very sexual and that is a lure
@@SilverGoose1 you are naive 😊
@@jlynn9451 If he had a problem he shouldn't have accepted you.
Accepting someone and shaming them later is bad.
I started dating a beautiful woman for about 2 months I really loved her. She had a few to many and told me she had been with 40 plus guys, I never looked at her the same again. It was a shame because I would have loved to spend my life with her.
How do you love somebody after two months? That's lust.
@@Veracityseeker7 I would say both love and lust was the only woman I ever felt that way about, we spent the first 2 months without even sleeping together.
you think she was not getting any?@@acestclhigh1286
You sound insecure
@@jmjenkins97right, it couldn't possibly be the fact that everyone in his life disrespects him and his wife, nope hes just insecure. Why is it only women who were completely sluts have a problem with what hes saying? Its almost like you have a biased because your the same as her..
I married a girl that had a severe wild run in her twenties. We have been together for 13 years now.
Honestly, hand on heart I wouldn’t recommend it.
We are in love and are still together but I went into our relationship quite carefree and understanding about it, but experiences we had together socially in our community was super disrespectful and disappointing.
It’s honestly broken me over time.
Can you elaborate?
@@jocbro1914 happy to, what do you want to know
Did she cheat?
@@davemurphy8953 what happened in more detail that causes you to not recommend it?
also interested
"Harry got to hit, Tom got to hit, Jacob got to hit! Jaquan fresh out of prison got to hit! EVERYBODY got to hit!!!!" 🤣🤣🤣 What an embarrassment. This caller is a complete 🤡 if he marries that woman.
love that john followed up with the "waiiit" at the same time i did while watching. a true man of culture
No caller ever seems to be on it 😭
This caller sounds like a bit of a dumbass
Yeah he's the best lol
This will continue to pop up over the years in one form or another. DO. NOT. DO. IT. PLEASE.
Do people like you understand how transparently insecure this outlook is on somebody's body count? You are basically shouting "I'm a small, insecure person" as loud as you can.
So true
He's totally wrong on this one!!! Women and men love in entirely different ways. When a woman has been with a lot of guys, her ability to pair bond (develop a husband-wife coupling) is severely compromised! You will find that when there are problems later in the relationship she will be at the local bar looking for attention; it's almost guaranteed! Men, through out time, have been hunter gathers, but he always comes home to his wife and children that depend on him! He has responsibility, and is committed to his family!
@@garybulwinkle82 that is such a weird belief. If that were actually true, why doesn't that happen in western Europe and Scandinavia where young women often have numerous sexual partners before settling down around 30? I've known women who had over 100 partners, and are now happily married 25+ years. I even know women like that who stayed faithful while HE cheated several times.
@@ekaski1 those are prostitutes. 100 partners really?
RUN! This will always eat away at you. You’re never gonna get over the fact that she’s been with 25 guys or whatever it is and you’ve only been with 3. You guys view sex differently at best. You’re wildly jealous of her sexual past at worst. Neither are good scenarios. If you have to justify something, then you know it’s wrong or you don’t agree with it. It’ll never change. Find someone that aligns with you better. Marriage is for life - do not compromise on something as big as this
If he was dating a girl with his own body count he wouldn’t be going through this
She wouldn’t have lied about sexual past. Red flag. A lie is a lie.
Everybody lies
@ecclesiastesThreeVerseSeven not true😊
Brother. I've been married 8 years. I have 5 brothers and 5 sisters. I've seen many marriages. My brother, this will return to haunt you. She is the same person today as she was back then. Find yourself a better woman. You deserve it. This will haunt your entire marriage and you will end up divorced. She'll cheat on you. If you were one of my 5 brothers, I'd beg you not to marry this woman.
Spot on dude...couldn't have said it better myself.
This is why you don’t get engaged in three months. My grandpa said “see them in all seasons”. When I was young I thought he meant be with someone a year. Now I believe he meant see how they handle different situations (grief, stress, windfall, ect) and it takes time for those moments to present themselves.
Late commenet but Ding Ding Ding. In life you'll be laid off, fired, suspended, hours cut, you'll go through a recession, depression, & death. So, you hit it right in the nail. Also, people can be great actors in the beginning. The only time their true selves are revealed is pregnancy, living with that person, or in a time of need.
Only SIMPs will take her, with zero to no options
She will throw the numberof partners at him everytime, cause she knows it makes him feel bad about it. RUN man, RUN!
Because she knows that’s where his weak spot is. And women will use that against their men in arguments. Women are ruthless this way. A man may be having a disagreement with a woman, but he doesn’t want to destroy her, as evidenced by the fact that he doesn’t hit her. But women will use all the available tools at their disposal. Scientists have long documented that women are unbound from using logic in their arguments, but this just demonstrates it’s a bloodsport to them. (Ha, Ha - I just had to throw that last comment in there about the scientists)!
This man is not fit for her. This woman is not fit for him.
Cut your losses and run.
I mean is she cut for any man with self respect?
Never mind the woman having a high body count…. Why is he trying to propose after 3 months? Even if she was a virgin, why only 3 months? You don’t know each other!
I got engaged after only 5 weeks and married 8 months later. We’ve been married 32 years.
@@dawnr6381 1 person.. good for you! It doesn’t work that way for everyone
@@SarahConnor562 my point is outliers are not the norm! Not everyone proposes marriage in wks, let alone months!
@@SarahConnor562 More couples than not, don’t jump straight into marriages within months.
@@dawnr6381 exceptions don't make the rule
I love that you right out told him not to get engaged!!!
It is NOT just vulnerability - it is wanting to know if you are being objectified and taken advantage of. THAT is masculine self preservation. You addressed this problem, as everyone does, through a feminine lens. It isn't about self worth or insecurity in every case.
💯
🙏@@tracyaponte9491
Met age 18, engaged 3 months later, married 6 months after that. 40 years and 5 kids later. Love him with my whole heart and soul and thank God every day for this man. Everyone's story is different. My mom got married at 16 and was happily married 50 years. This whole 'date for years until you are sure' or frolicking during the 20's to settle down finally in the 30's doesn't seem to be helping the divorce rate at all!
It may be today's culture. Social Media allows people to "explore" more options than before. Maybe is the lack of discipline/commitment/respect for your partner/family.
Take away child support. Women don't need it
not in today's culture. he's in for trouble with this girl
Nice story, but not today unless you are catholic or Mormon. We are Catholic and married 33 years, 3 children.
Unicorn.
The society we live in today is like a giant pig pen, and when you live in a pig pen it's very hard to stay clean.
just open the gate. there is plety of grass
That's how false freedom works. There are whole industries built around the concept that tempting people is just fine if you can make money from it.
The fact that she feels bad about it is a good sign she’s changing. The fact that she lied about it is a bad sign.
Dude.......................RUN!! She can't pair bond with you! EVER! She WILL cheat on you!! If you're not OK with that, leave NOW!!
Sounds like a great foundation for a marriage.
John! I just learned about motivational interviewing and your “why 25 and not 24” question was the perfect example of developing discrepancy! So amazing to see this play out in a conversation! Great work.
Yup I think that he had a number is 🚩
@@LSSYLondon so it’s a red flag that he had a number in mind but not a red flag that the girl had that many past sexual partners or possibly more??
@@ImDasCute Both are toxic as hell.
Very good suggestions, best I've heard. Facing this situation now and it gave me much to think about
from experience, this guy is not ready to get married! he's still holding her past over her, which is very unhealthy especially with him wanting to get married. if he continues to struggle her, he needs to talk to a Christian counselor about this issue because I can tell he has a pride issue like I did.
if him and his girlfriend grieve both their past sexual sin and completely regret what they done and repent from it, they can work it out by the power of the Holy Spirit but if he regrets his sexual sin and she doesn't, then yeah he needs to consider to end it or both should talk with a counselor if they want to fight for their relationship because if he gets engaged thinking these thoughts will vanish when they get engaged & married, it will only get worse with time!
I hope and pray they can work through this because I know it can be a hard issue since we all struggle with sexual sin/have a sexual past to some degree whether it be lustful thoughts, masturbating, watching porn, and having pre-martial sex you name it along with having pride in our hearts to a degree. like every other sin, sexual sin is sin
I don't think he is Christian. Which is why it's surprising that he carse about such things and it's even more surprising that he cares that she did exactly what he did
He's ready to marry, she's just the wrong one for him to marry its that simple.
I think he regrets her past, not his past. He did not say anything about his body counts, or the girlfriend judging him. He just wants to be the first one, so the girlfriend cannot compare him with others. Huge redflag. The girl deserves better!
Whole lotta cap dude
@@cristinarociu1575 he deserves better too
Know what you are and are not willing to accept in a partner and do not negotiate with yourself. Too many men throw away standards because of the 🐱. Proposing after 3 months… absolutely reeks of a scarcity mindset.
If her past is a deal breaker then cut her loose.
"Body Count" is a new term for me. I never knew about it until after I found myself single again.
It sounds like how many people you have killed 😹
The fact that he’s second guessing it goes to show he’s uncomfortable. Leave her. He deserves better
Run bro, Ruuuuuuuuun!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm watching this 1yr later and pray to God they didn't get married.
Man I really need to hear this you are one heck of a man Mr John and I appreciate your hard honesty
Bruh. Leave here. DO NOT DO THIS. Leave her. Ruin do not feel bad about not accepting her sexual past. That is your standard.
John your team is great. I just watched the full video with 3 or 4 calls earlier today and you guys have already broken up the calls into separate videos.
The team is great, but the videos are released about a month after recording.
A man wants to know that a woman can keep her legs closed while he is providing and protecting. Her past gives you an idea of whether she can do that or not.
Take it real slow
You get it. Absolutely 100%. If she controls herself when she has EVERY opportunity, she can do so with the smallest opportunities.
Run bro. If you have an issue with her past that you can’t get over, it’s going to haunt you forever. Also, and I can’t believe this got skipped over, she took something that she knew would hurt you, and used it against you in an argument.
He should look for a female with a low body count. The girlfriend is already throwing it in his face. Son. She doesn't love you. Move on.
So your mom was never married?
@db A high body count makes a person less likely to be capable to bond with a single individual. Plus, the lack of morality on her part is a glaring red flag.
@db hoes are less likely to be good honest moral housewives.
@@ronaldnichols9945 the same goes for a man. Is it possible that your attention only lights up selectively. I'm sure you got this from the red pill and just like those guys there, your eyes close off to the men's chart and only open to the women's.
So take it as community service. A man with a body count has no business judging a woman with a body count because his situation is just as bad.
@@dearbrave4183 lol I get attacked and negative assumptions are made by you. Wow
The past does matter. It shows off thier charecter.
Sexual abuse as a child is a thing that can get carried over into adulthood in the form of sex addiction.
@@karaa7595 ok, but why try marry people and ruining their lives
what, that they are human and enjoy being intimate sometimes? quit judging people, ffs
@@APrftCrclTempest unless you are Jesus or God, everybody judges. So please shut up
@@karaa7595 its not upto any man to deal with your trauma
The truth is HER PAST MATTERS because it is a track record of who she is
And he's biologically wired from millions of years of evolution to care about it.
@@ThePlainNsimplewe’re wired for a lot of things, but that doesn’t make them all right
Who we are is not based on our past mistakes, but what we have learned from them. I’m sure you would not appreciate being defined by every mistake you’ve made. If someone has not genuinely repented of their sins, then yes, that would be of concern.
@@Cristina_43 guys aren’t gonna go for the girl who’s been ran through. Let’s thing logically here
But you are right we can Change if we repent. But most don’t
@@Cristina_43 no man wants to wife a whore. Like you.
This helped me a lot thank you
This conversation would have been very different if it was a woman.
So many red flags here. She is not a wife. Don’t try to make her one.
He isn't a husband either. Lol he has jealous issues fr
As a woman who has only ever been with one fiancé, past only matters insofar it informs future behavior. Are you afraid she’s going to cheat? Are you afraid you mean less to her because you’re one of many? What’s your insecurity?
She may have a high past body count AND be a terrific human being and partner. It could also be that she thrives in seduction, and will seek validation outside of your relationship in the future. Figure yourself out first
well nature programmed these feelings in men so that they don't get kuckolded to raise someone elses child and like any trait these feelings are distributed probably normally amongst men. It is a biological instinct that ensured survival of ones genes and not something that manifests as a psychological problem that women tend to minimise as an insecurity.
Statistically, there's a high probability she thrives in seduction, and will seek validation outside. Divorce risk and not having a Happy relationship increases with each premarital partner - highest risk at 9+ premarital partners. Several studies over the years have proven this time and time again, yet many still want to deny it. The risk increase goes for Women and Men, however it's lower with Men. So yes, statistically the more partners a women has, the less likely you'll have a happy marriage.
The fact that she lied about her body count is already a sign that even she knows she isn't kosher. If you gonna engage in a certain lifestyle then you either do it loud and proud or don't do it at all.
I have to ask, is he one of them? Did he jump into bed within 3 months? If so, he is no better.
If body count is that important, he needs to leave. It is so simple.
Also, getting engaged to someone after only 3 months when you question if she is thinking about someone else when you both are together? Do not get engaged!
Lol this is ridiculous. The divorce rate of women directly correlates to how many sexual partners they have had.
For men the graph looks like a scattershot for women it is a linear increase as they are used and damaged
A man can’t be a whore, you know it I know it. Women degrade through promiscuity men don’t.
Yep, any guy would be haunted by her disgusting past
Body count is always matter that's why PPL hide that. May be for men not so much but for women definately
@@badapanda1 When women fall out the first thing they call each other is hoes
I do feel like it's natural for men to want women with a low body count. Also women aren't normally into showing a man the finer points in the bedroom. If you want a traditional marriage marry a traditional woman.
The problem is he is in his mid 20’s. I would bet less than 1% of women his age are “Traditional”
@@sococomfort22s34oh well
People won't even pay for clothes that have been worn, but it's irrelevant when it comes to a spouse? Really?
The reason it’s important is because past behaviors are a good predictor of future behaviors.
Sluts aren’t just for Christmas they’re for life
Good to know. Of yourse every guy that partied hard and spent whole weekends with his buddies playing computer games when he was 20 will do exactly that for the rest of his life. Yes, I think it`s realistic to expect nothing to be different when he is 25 or 30. Nobody should get married to a man like that because as you know: His future will be exactly the same as his past. He will be out partying with his buddies the whole weekend, not sleeping and eating cold pizza when coming home at 6 in the morning when he is 30, married with two kids and in a manager position. Exactly like he did when he was 20, single and working at starbucks.
You are right: Can`t trust a woman who was enjoying her single life when she was 20 to live any differently and have different priorities when she is 30.
@@anthill1510That’s precisely why it’s important for a man to be disciplined and build himself up to be high value. He won’t have to settle for bottom of the barrel promiscuous women. Women who sleep around to have “fun” are literally the most immoral women. A woman who sleeps with multiple partners is showing that she doesn’t respect herself and has the wrong priorities. Hoes never get wifed up by good man and I’m sorry but your chances of ever finding yourself in a loving relationship with kids is slim to none. Men judge a woman by her past while a woman judges a man based on their future. That’s how it balances out and now you’re waking up to the fact that actions have consequences. Have fun feeding your cats while the good modest women out there get to be provided for and raise children. You’re past decisions have ruined your future and there’s no coming back from that. Sorry to break it to you hun
Someone sleeping around vs being immature and drinking with friends are wayyyyy too different to compare. Sex Vs Non Sexual negative daily habits? What? I see not being with an immature boy but being promiscuous can’t be undone……
Anthill
The Body Count matters because no man wants to marry a female whose addicted to casual sex . It only shows the odds of her cheating on you are very high because she doesn’t need an attachment to have sex.
You're a fool.
Virgins ftw
facts!
Same is true for men. Don't demand what you can't deliver.
I think men put their own way of thinking upon women. Women usually dont think about sex 24/7.
If this is a problem right in the beginning it will pop up in his head again and again and again.
True
I really wish he would look up OCD. There is a special type of OCD focused on this. Because having flashes in your mind of imagining your partner with her former partners is not normal. It`s obsessive.
@anthill1510 70% of Men have it in a large BBC Survey of tens of thousands of men across the UK. And those are the ones that ADMITTED it knowing that it's a politically incorrectly thing to admit to. It even has a term "Retroactive Jealousy"
This is just the beginning. If it bothers him now, it’s just going to magnify over time. It’s best to let her go.
I went through the exact thing this guy is talking about. It was absolute torture. Took me a long time to change myself and my attitude to overcome it. The important thing is it use it as an opportunity to examine yourself and who you really are beyond any other person in your life.
❤
Just find a woman with a better past instead of trying to get over a woman's terrible one in the first place
this@@elfascisto6549
I’m so proud of you man. When you are marrying the town bicycle, it’s always best to brainwash yourself into believing you’re the problem. Inward examination is always the best approach, because as Dr. Delaney always says, women are perfect angelic creatures and men are required to cover for their mistakes at all times. I’m praying she doesn’t bring home gonnorrhea too many times in your marriage to this saintly woman, and that at least one of your children is actually yours. When your are cleaning her up after her night with Chad, just remember that you are the problem.
@@haploid2k I understand that you are full of bitterness. But that's because you obsess over women, instead of just improving yourself so that you can attract the right person that you can trust. Turning into a cynical, misogynist is not the answer.
I don’t think either party is wrong, but based on this call, they should definitely not be together.
Also, I don’t think I heard him say anything about forgiving so I think the title of this video is unfair because it is WILD to think that you need to “forgive” someone for their sexual past unless it was actual cheating on you. If you are uncomfortable with someone’s past, that’s on you to get over.
@@SarahConnor562 I don’t know I get the sense that he brought it up because he was hoping she was a virgin and she felt uncomfortable telling him the truth. Not saying that’s OK at all but I think the context matters.
@@SarahConnor562 that’s my point. He’s allowed to have standards but if he’s choosing to stay with her than it’s up to him to get over it
🙌👏
Cuck
He needs to forgive her for lying through her teeth and trying to use it as ammo in an argument. Did you even watch the video?
If she is just getting out of this "carefree" i.e. destructive behavior I would wait to propose. She needs to time to heal and mature from her destructive ways. If it's meant to be, God will bring her back into your life. God bless~
Dr. John's ability to cut through the "body count" obsession is refreshing.
RUN!! 3 months in and she’s throwing her body count in his face during a fight. He’s going to forget the milk one day and she’ll sleep with his father/best friend
Yep, Can’t turn a hoe into a housewife, she’s used to getting ran through by tons of guys… what makes him think she’ll be able to just get rid of those other guys and be a good wife? No, she will always have that itch for dealing with many different guys she will cheat on him in the marriage… I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s been already cheating on him the entire time
Based on what this guy said, she obviously does not feel comfortable being honest with him for some reason. I think that’s a red flag on the guys and not the girl.
@@SarahConnor562 maybe I’m judging too soon but to me the guy sounds kind of like a creep who’s mad that he can’t be with a virgin
The red flag is that he is trying to marry her at 3 months in
The old double standard is alive and well.
Protect all women, no matter what. Wife up a sloot!
Yeah, he's just not Man enough to be comfortable with the fact that she's more experienced than him. He's not mature enough to marry anyone.
it will always be alive, us women should respect ourselves and not be toys to men that aren't our husband, we don't benefit from casual sex, it only causes women to be heart broken and have mental issues. Men shouldn't sleep around either cause they will get used to the variety and not be able to settle with one woman.
Double standards go both ways... It's just the way it is. It is different.
@Michael Palumbo by that logic women marry whores all the time.
I have never thought of my husband kissing or being intimate with anyone from his past…
because men are insecure
Get out! 😂 Get out now! Body count counts, sorry but not sorry. Plus she’s using that as an argument with you to make you feel bad about your feelings about her high body counts. That’s a big no no. You have absolute right to feel the way you feel, you are not crazy and don’t need to feel bad.
Dude, this is a YOU problem. You can either leave the past in the past or leave her ASAP. You don't have to accept someone who has a lengthy list of bodies. If you try to look past it while already having an issue with it, you will resent her and the relationship will fail. If her sexual past has legitimate red flags that lead you to believe that she may cheat on you, then your apprehension is also legitimate. But FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY - DO. NOT. PROPOSE. TO HER. In fact, don't even speak or THINK of getting engaged. This is already off to a messed-up start.
Someone with an ounce is sense! That’s exactly right. Some of these other comments are scary
I'm not being funny but how does having a high body count translate to cheating? One would assume that the reason you have a high body count is because you weren't in a relationship. You are free to mingle.
Studies have shown that women with higher than 10 body count are more likely to divorce. I posted a link earlier but my comment was magically erased lol.
@@ineedhoez If a person have the inclination, opportunity and habit of sleeping around, it's reasonable to expect that they might continue to do so.
@@ineedhoez People with a high body count are very likely to cheat and/or end the relationship/marriage because they can't be happy with just one person for the rest of their life after sleeping with a different person every month or every week for several years.
Bro trying to Make a women who belongs to the streets into a wife. Lol
And that in itself sounds controlling! Even if she was a virgin, him trying to lock her down after only 3 months is telling
@@Nah-ah do women have agency or not? Dear lord. Could you people infantilize women any more?
You cant turn a garden tool into a house wife....never compromise and trust ur gut.
😂 you need to get out more. Seriously.
He needs to help the community out and give her back lol
It’s up to him but in my opinion, he should dump her because she lied about her past, which is being deceitful and manipulative. Hinting that she can’t be trusted and is likely to lie again.
RED FLAG!!!!! break up with her, the fact she lied THEN used it against you to intentionally hurt you
FACTS!!!!!
i love how this whole chat disagrees with deloney lmaooooo
a girl with a high body count doesn't only play on your ego, but her life choices with giving her body away essentially for free
Do you prefer a girl that charges?
@@BeautyIsMyLifeat the very least she could be in a relationships and that's a lack of judgement as she could get pregnant or catch an STD just because she was horny, so
@@BeautyIsMyLife at least if she did charge then he could try to rationalize it as entrepreneurial! 😂
What has his ego got to do with loving a woman? Do you live to feed your ego and does it control your decisions? That is sad. Any other reason, maybe, but not the ego
It does play on dudes' egoes, that's true. It crushes them if they don't have a lot of sexual experience and they'll always be insecure about her having been with men who are better lovers or are bigger down there. My advice is to avoid these men at all costs. Their inferiority complex will en up driving you crazy.
Great episode!
I don’t understand how people think it’s no big deal to have multiple sexual partners. How can it possibly be special to be with your spouse when you’ve already been intimate with other partners? I don’t understand that culture. Plus it doesn’t seem realistic to suddenly be monogamous because you decide to get married.
@Unknown Comment yes I agree. I just don’t get how people can possibly find that lifestyle fulfilling.
@Unknown Comment wise words. I agree with you completely.
I’ve been in this type of situation. I tried to shrug it off early on, but it comes back. I would just respectfully move on. Not worth your time. You’re still in the infatuation stage of the relationship, so it’s hard to make logical decisions.
High body count is probably a pretty good predictor of future behaviors…
He should heal and not date.. I bet his list of judgements is longggg.
My husband has never asked me how many people I slept with and I never asked him. If I did ask, the answer would only hurt me. We were 30 when we met and there was no reason to hurt each other because of a past that no longer matters.
Folks like you're the ones that get scammed.
Past does matter to evaluate something
EXACTLY! This is the only answer that I have. To be honest, I never thought to ask anyone their body count because it’s the past. Only thing that matters is their health (STDS) and if they were a serial cheater. Other than that, why does it even matter???? It’s odd.
@@SmileyAdventures Women will spew any bs to not be accountable.
Past mattered and always will.
@@sushilsharma4202I'm sorry you hate women
@@SmileyAdventuresthen there's folks like me, who don't care about my wife's "body count."
I cannot fully blame women who are scared to answer that "body count"question and lie about it not that it makes it right at all.
But the fact that she used it in an argument like that.. it doesn't benefit her in any way to throw it in his face like that she just used it as a tool to hurt him.. and that's a horrible thing to do
it's emotional abusive..
But it is wrong to lie about it because you are doing it because you don't want him to reject you as a partner but that's his decision to make not yours he has the right to say no.. just like you have the right to no
I’m one of the people who thinks body count matters. If someone had an “insane” body count like 50+ that mean they take sex casually which mean they have more chance that they will take cheating as a casual thing that isn’t a huge deal.
Was not expecting Dr. John to hit us with some Nate Dogg. 🤣 Much respect...😉
That is because we men are optionless. That is why we tend to jump into the first girl we met. And including myself many of you on comments saying ''nO No dO nOt Do ThAt''s we all would do the same. End of the story
Dude… Run… Run now!!!! Fast!!!
John, you nailed this. (Again)
I probably wouldn’t get with a woman who hasn’t been authentically single for quite some time. Like, maybe the last 1 or two or three or four years.
Personally, I had not been with anyone for the last 10% (4 years) of my life when I met my wife. I was rock solid ready for a relationship. We’re 6-1/2 years in now and it’s great!
Based on my dating experience, the more partners the woman had, the more they seemed to seek approval and validation from others. They were typically insecure on some level. I would never date someone that has been promiscuous. As I’ve matured, I’ve attracted better quality people.
💯
Yeah but people live and learn, grow and change. I wouldn't want to be with a judgmental person, I want a person that respects who I am today.
I'm a super secure and happy male. My body count is high.. if I were a woman it would still be high.. news alert, some people just like to bone and are not seeking approval
The hypocrisy 🤌
i think it’s the other way around:whatever issue it is that causes people to seek approval and validation from others, can also be expressed in their sexual lives. in other words, i don’t think their being promiscuous is what caused them to seek approval or attention from others
NEVER share the numbers of your past, and don't ask about it either! Don't create problems, otherwise you will keep on looking for more! I am 43, been married for 9 years now, and I have an extensive sexual history, and I am sure my wife does as well, but we don't dwell on it, and we don't ask, and we don't judge. WITH THAT SAID we knew each other for 28 months before we got married.
Are the two of you monogamous in your marriage now?
@@nt3833 They probably don’t ask each other about that either
Also girl's care about body count less cuz they are hypergamous
@@janeddooee Wow, the judgmental attitude of it all...this is exactly why people shouldn't tell people about their past. Just because they have pasts doesn't mean they are not faithful to each other.
This is horrible advice. Adults need to have the psychological fortitude to ask each other tough questions and to give honest answers. If asking about each other's sexual history (and possible STDs) is off limits...what else would be considered "off limits" to ask? Conflict is uncomfortable, but tough issues need to be discussed. Stop infantilizing adults!
You dont need to say all that!
She lied and admitted it in anger!
That's all you need to know.
The body number is irrelevant!
He’s probably thinking that but the dr is smart. With the state of modern women his show would immediately get cancelled if he held them to any sought of reasonable standard. The amount of times I have cringed when he tells women to leave their x and promises there will be multiple people out there who love them dearly and will thank God everyday for them in their lives. I really like his deep empathy and compassion towards women, that’s why I watch the show, but honestly “dating coaches” for modern women are really just snakeoilsalesmen. Modern societies relationship landscape is a broken gutter, and there’s more sh!t spewing out than any amount of psychologist degrees can shovel back in.
She said that to hurt you, doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me. If someone wants to hurt you like that she's not the one.
This woman is a manipulator. She will hold this over him forever. The number will always be changing to suit the situation.
@db he sounds like a complete control freak… like who proposes in 3 months? Even if she was a virgin, you don’t do that!
@dbaisy6094 because she upped the number when they were having an argument. It was a play to win the argument.
I've known women who sleep around and then change, but it's less than one percent. Women who have that many partners before marriage are statistically drastically less likely to have a happy marriage.
Those are the women who "suddenly" healed and changed because her looks started to fade qhen they were close of their 30s, this is notebook material
It doesn’t matter if she changes because men can’t experience sexual intimacy with a woman that’s already been conquered by other men.
less than one percent? lol you would be surprised how many "born again christian girls" are out there
Both of you speak facts.
@thelucariamonarchs4889 women don't just suddenly heal because of their looks " are going down". We heal because we learn as we get older and are more seasoned we are wiser at 30 than 20. Ain't no one navigating that way you're talking about. Secondly, 30 is still young no one looks fade at 30 or even 40 for that matter. What are you talking about? You just want young naive silly little girls who don't know anything. That's your real problem 30, 40, or even late 20s for that matter is too wise for you and therefore you can run games on them.
When I realised my boyfriend cared more about my past than my relationship with him I had to say goodbye. Two years together and he acted jealous about things that happened before him. Fortunately he found himself a sweet girl he knew from school and I found myself an accepting and not at all jealous, grown up husband.
Girl, just admit you got ran up 😂
Cope lol
just admit you a 304 😂🙏🏽
@@Ryan-cb1eifr😂
Low quality junk here.
If you have a big body count as a male, I would find that unappealing. To me it shows you have been reckless with your bed partners and maybe you cared more about casual sex than being in a serious relationship. just a big turn off.
Women who say this are maybe 6's at best and just know they can't lock down those men and would just be a pump and dump he makes fun of after with his friends
@@nly4607 lol or they know that men with a high body count are low quality men who will just be sex pests throughout the relationship. Doesn’t matter if a man is good-looking if he’s just same shallow dude bro who lacks impulse control and will sleep around with loads of women.
@@nly4607 if that is true how do you explain jay z cheating on beyonce or adam levine cheating on his model wife? since you talking about women being 6s. those two husbands were not 10s.
@@nly4607 by all means blame women for pumping and dumping..where does that leave you as a man? unfulfilled most likely and joining mgtow forums.
@End the Mandates no I have money lol. As a man I can date 23-30 til I'm 45.
Owning rentals in a college town is the goto for any unmarried guy with his stuff together