your series on complex trauma is helping 3 generations of my family heal. Thank you for being a vessel of truth and healing for the word of God. Bless you!
HALLELUJAH!! WOW! PRAISE GOD! GOD IS SO GOOD!! MY HEART IS OVERJOYED 2 HEAR OF THE RESTORATION OF YOUR FAMILY! AAAAAAH WHAT A TREMENDOUS BLESSING U HAVE RECEIVED! GLORY BE TO GOD ❤🥰🙌🥹👏👏👏☺️ IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU! 🫶
I think we overall underestimate how smart and sensitive children are. They know when parents lie, tell half truths, or what they are actually saying. I don't judge parents, they have their own insecurities, but I still remember some of these described events 30 years later. These lessons with Tim are so very insightful. I am happy he put all of this is shared.
When we don't learn function at home, we need to go somewhere for guidance! I found the book that explained a lot of what was missing for me, starting with a work conflict situation I could not resolve. I was 25 yrs old the first time I picked up my children's Bible and just flipped open and read the first line my eyes fell to..proverbs ...if you attempt to relate to a wicked person you will incur abuse and hatred, if you attempt to correct a righteous person they will love you This convinced me there was value in this book that I needed and I have never forgotten this first time where I got an answer that deeply satisfied me as being true Have to search out the best translations and the original meaning in the original language but this book as a guide has never let me down or steered me wrong
This was really informative and I really needed to hear the Bible part. I wish someone had explained this to me when I was in school struggling with relationships! I had to learn the hard way and experience so much dysfunction. Take notes young ones this man is speaking great Truth and Discernment.
TIM FLETCHER IS AWESOME I LOVE WATCHING HIS LIVE-STREAMS. HE HAS TAUGHT ME SO MANY VALUABLE LIFE LESSONS AND CONTINUES TO HELP ME DEAL WITH NEGATIVE & SOMETIMES DANGEROUS ASPECTS OF MY LIFE THAT I HAVE RESOLVED. I AM A BETTER MAN BECAUSE OF TIMS KNOWLEDGE I AM FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO BE PRIVY TO....... Capt. Adam
There is a LIFT online program designed by Tim and it works. You can enroll online and attend through zoom.I am not affiliated with them. I am recommending this out of my own personal experience. Good luck.
Tim is really good at this. He helps understand what happened and what the long term effects are. This one should be named "Family life with Dr. Charles E. Main". My father was always so quick to throw me or anybody else under the bus to save his own ego. It was always about him. Anyone that ever questioned him got a violent reaction. He kept our family dysfunctional with violent threats and actions.
Thank you Tim 🙏 as someone who has spent most of my 34 years trying to understand how I ended up with all these issues.... Your videos are really helpful and inspiring. God bless you
Folks, I believe donating to the mastermind is in order here. Please donate to Finding Freedom. Each of us waste so much trying to get information. This info is worth some financial gratitude. Please support the folks who help you.
THANK YOU for a perfect description of where I grew up. The only part you missed was the DENIAL of it and the one who is blamed for all of it, which is the SCAPEGOAT.
@@leahflower9924 I was the scapegoat. God it hurt being so alone. Today I’ve cut them all off, except for my older bro who sexually abused me-he’s getting a court case next year. I’ve also achieved a lot in life. I wonder if I wasn’t the scapegoat would I still have done all this.
At 26mins. I'm so grateful for this validation. When words aren't real (because of lies), actions become truth. And you live in a very unsafe place because you can't trust people. I spent a lot of time hiding in my bed, feeling hopeless over the last year since leaving this guy who made the family utterly dysfunctional, with no resolution, full of lies, power games and cheating. Think I'm finally starting to see some light again. I had a moody perfectionist for a mother who enjoyed her silent treatment, and a father controlling and disinterested in anything I liked. Managed to fall head over heels in love with a guy who managed to replicate both those things. I never felt good enough. Starting to see how deeply ingrained in me this is.
I feel so fucked up somedays. I look back at my teenage rebellion and wonder if I made my own misery and messed up my own life by making bad choices (smoked some pot, got straight A’s, most people thought I was a great kid, mom and stepdad said I tore the family apart…scapegoat! They blamed their fighting on me smoking a bowl). Writing this puts it into perspective. I had no support, no one to coach me through life. I was raised by wolves. Still trying to figure things out. I feel like I can’t bond with healthy people because my world view is so different. I feel utterly alone but I’m getting used to it. I feel like a bad person for believing what I believe and valuing what I value. One thing is certain, I did not get my needs met as a child/teen. I expected myself to achieve great things but it has been failure after failure. A tiny part of me still believes in myself. I don’t even know what success is but I know I want to have a self sustaining compound, an off grid oasis. I think the world is going to become unsafe and that most people will be on their own. Maybe this is just my trauma. I feel like any day the powers that be could shut down the food and turn off the electricity and we’d all be left to try to survive without industrial society. Maybe it’s just my trauma or maybe the people in power are as selfish and dysfunctional as my parents were! LOLOL
Both of my parents were very disengaged. Both workaholics, gym rats and imagine obsessed. Lots of yelling and I cried almost daily as a kid, violence, drug use, sexually inappropriate. Witnessed sex acts and masterbation many times. I remember thoughts of suicide as young as 10..shocking. I’m mostly healthy now but when you finally realize how messed up things were it’s heartbreaking..
I really relate to Tim Fletcher videos. I can only be willing to get better myself. I still interact with my very wounded family. It is very hard to do that for very long! Especially the one that insists every one else has problems. She doesn’t need any help. I wish there was a short cut to heal. An instant fix. A magic pill! I could help others get over it. Sadly, unwilling to look behind the curtain, live in misery and self pity. I’m don’t want that anymore. I want freedom. So I’ll keep plugging away. Thank you for continuing this work and posting this amazing content.
Here's a variety of dysfunction: there are different standards of behavior for boys versus girls. Also, one child is forgiven for misbehavior and others are punished.
What was that famous quote from Tolstoy about unhappy families being unhappy in their own way? Was distracted thinking of that when he went into types of dysfunctional families.
I don't see it that way... all dysfunction and misery are a pattern, not really unhappy in your own original way, but quite predictably so, the same as happy..
Lust is sin. We need to call wrong what is wrong. Otherwise, we just blame our limbic brain and to me, that’s not taking responsibility for destructive actions.
This guy is underrated beyond measure.
YES! I am so glad I stumbled upon him ❤
Yup. I'm so grateful for finding his content!!
For sure!
your series on complex trauma is helping 3 generations of my family heal. Thank you for being a vessel of truth and healing for the word of God. Bless you!
💖💖💖
HALLELUJAH!! WOW! PRAISE GOD! GOD IS SO GOOD!! MY HEART IS OVERJOYED 2 HEAR OF THE RESTORATION OF YOUR FAMILY! AAAAAAH WHAT A TREMENDOUS BLESSING U HAVE RECEIVED! GLORY BE TO GOD ❤🥰🙌🥹👏👏👏☺️ IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU! 🫶
I think we overall underestimate how smart and sensitive children are. They know when parents lie, tell half truths, or what they are actually saying. I don't judge parents, they have their own insecurities, but I still remember some of these described events 30 years later. These lessons with Tim are so very insightful. I am happy he put all of this is shared.
I love how Tim calls it the Christian part. I’m not Christian but I love the Christian part.
You can become a Christian! Jesus is our Savior, loving, kind, humble ❤
When we don't learn function at home, we need to go somewhere for guidance! I found the book that explained a lot of what was missing for me, starting with a work conflict situation I could not resolve. I was 25 yrs old the first time I picked up my children's Bible and just flipped open and read the first line my eyes fell to..proverbs ...if you attempt to relate to a wicked person you will incur abuse and hatred, if you attempt to correct a righteous person they will love you
This convinced me there was value in this book that I needed and I have never forgotten this first time where I got an answer that deeply satisfied me as being true
Have to search out the best translations and the original meaning in the original language but this book as a guide has never let me down or steered me wrong
This was really informative and I really needed to hear the Bible part. I wish someone had explained this to me when I was in school struggling with relationships! I had to learn the hard way and experience so much dysfunction. Take notes young ones this man is speaking great Truth and Discernment.
thank you for helping me to be more of a healthy parent my son needs
These videos are SO SO HELPFUL, thank you so much Tim.
TIM FLETCHER IS AWESOME
I LOVE WATCHING HIS LIVE-STREAMS. HE HAS TAUGHT ME SO MANY VALUABLE LIFE LESSONS AND CONTINUES TO HELP ME DEAL WITH NEGATIVE & SOMETIMES DANGEROUS ASPECTS OF MY LIFE THAT I HAVE RESOLVED.
I AM A BETTER MAN BECAUSE OF TIMS KNOWLEDGE I AM FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO BE PRIVY TO.......
Capt. Adam
There is a LIFT online program designed by Tim and it works. You can enroll online and attend through zoom.I am not affiliated with them. I am recommending this out of my own personal experience. Good luck.
Dahlia Ghaly thank you very much I will check it out:-)
Oh captain my captain
Tim is really good at this. He helps understand what happened and what the long term effects are. This one should be named "Family life with Dr. Charles E. Main". My father was always so quick to throw me or anybody else under the bus to save his own ego. It was always about him. Anyone that ever questioned him got a violent reaction. He kept our family dysfunctional with violent threats and actions.
Starting to see the effects of your teaching in my life. Thank you again.
This video helped me identify I grew up in 8 of the 9 dysfunctional family types in my family of origin & Catholic school.
Tim’s teaching is so thorough and revealing and healing for us survivors of unhealthy childhoods and families of origin!❤
Hope everyone is in a good place tonight, mentally!
Thank you Tim 🙏 as someone who has spent most of my 34 years trying to understand how I ended up with all these issues.... Your videos are really helpful and inspiring. God bless you
This information is life changing, thank you so much for making it available. .
Folks, I believe donating to the mastermind is in order here. Please donate to Finding Freedom. Each of us waste so much trying to get information. This info is worth some financial gratitude. Please support the folks who help you.
I agree, this is Free Therapy for growth and understanding!
THANK YOU for a perfect description of where I grew up. The only part you missed was the DENIAL of it and the one who is blamed for all of it, which is the SCAPEGOAT.
A scapegoat isn't just blamed they also have to absorb the shame of the rest of the family so it's like your family sacrificing you
@@leahflower9924 I was the scapegoat. God it hurt being so alone. Today I’ve cut them all off, except for my older bro who sexually abused me-he’s getting a court case next year.
I’ve also achieved a lot in life. I wonder if I wasn’t the scapegoat would I still have done all this.
@@JT0007 ditto
At 26mins. I'm so grateful for this validation. When words aren't real (because of lies), actions become truth. And you live in a very unsafe place because you can't trust people.
I spent a lot of time hiding in my bed, feeling hopeless over the last year since leaving this guy who made the family utterly dysfunctional, with no resolution, full of lies, power games and cheating. Think I'm finally starting to see some light again.
I had a moody perfectionist for a mother who enjoyed her silent treatment, and a father controlling and disinterested in anything I liked. Managed to fall head over heels in love with a guy who managed to replicate both those things. I never felt good enough. Starting to see how deeply ingrained in me this is.
I feel so fucked up somedays. I look back at my teenage rebellion and wonder if I made my own misery and messed up my own life by making bad choices (smoked some pot, got straight A’s, most people thought I was a great kid, mom and stepdad said I tore the family apart…scapegoat! They blamed their fighting on me smoking a bowl). Writing this puts it into perspective. I had no support, no one to coach me through life. I was raised by wolves. Still trying to figure things out. I feel like I can’t bond with healthy people because my world view is so different. I feel utterly alone but I’m getting used to it. I feel like a bad person for believing what I believe and valuing what I value. One thing is certain, I did not get my needs met as a child/teen. I expected myself to achieve great things but it has been failure after failure. A tiny part of me still believes in myself. I don’t even know what success is but I know I want to have a self sustaining compound, an off grid oasis. I think the world is going to become unsafe and that most people will be on their own. Maybe this is just my trauma. I feel like any day the powers that be could shut down the food and turn off the electricity and we’d all be left to try to survive without industrial society. Maybe it’s just my trauma or maybe the people in power are as selfish and dysfunctional as my parents were! LOLOL
Both of my parents were very disengaged. Both workaholics, gym rats and imagine obsessed. Lots of yelling and I cried almost daily as a kid, violence, drug use, sexually inappropriate. Witnessed sex acts and masterbation many times. I remember thoughts of suicide as young as 10..shocking. I’m mostly healthy now but when you finally realize how messed up things were it’s heartbreaking..
Only had Jesus,am 69 and never married
I’m at the heartbreaking stage… but the blinders had to come off. Hoping that someday I will feel more healed, I’ve already come a long way
You have such an incredible grasp and command of this. Thank you.
Those descriptions in this series are for everyone
I really relate to Tim Fletcher videos. I can only be willing to get better myself. I still interact with my very wounded family. It is very hard to do that for very long! Especially the one that insists every one else has problems. She doesn’t need any help. I wish there was a short cut to heal. An instant fix. A magic pill! I could help others get over it. Sadly, unwilling to look behind the curtain, live in misery and self pity. I’m don’t want that anymore. I want freedom. So I’ll keep plugging away. Thank you for continuing this work and posting this amazing content.
Alanon since 1980 helped me too
Wow! Amazingly detailed and comprehensive information!
Super good Christian part! Very valuable statements even from a non religious point of view
Thank you for what you do.. this is amazing.. all parents are perfectly imperfect and thats ok.. its how you talk about problems that matter..
Here's a variety of dysfunction: there are different standards of behavior for boys versus girls. Also, one child is forgiven for misbehavior and others are punished.
Perfect description. Thank you
Well said, Tim. Thank you
Wow! A very powerful presentation.
This was excellent
what an amazing channel
Maybe you should add a Combo Dysfunctional family. I can I put my family in all those families descriptions.
What was that famous quote from Tolstoy about unhappy families being unhappy in their own way? Was distracted thinking of that when he went into types of dysfunctional families.
I don't see it that way... all dysfunction and misery are a pattern, not really unhappy in your own original way, but quite predictably so, the same as happy..
So much truth in this.😔
Very helpful
Thank you!
Thanks so much ❤️
Thank you for this
I appricate this
TY ❤
What if your family of origin has aspects from all of the 9 dysfunctional types? Mine does!!!!
Lust is sin. We need to call wrong what is wrong. Otherwise, we just blame our limbic brain and to me, that’s not taking responsibility for destructive actions.
l came from dysfunctional family where l was mistreated and abused. Tired of it l left at 17. They are despicable reptiles
❤️
What's the matter with you???🤬
❤