Re-Parenting - Part 17 - Accepting Others
Вставка
- Опубліковано 7 кві 2022
- *****
GET STARTED With a FREE Preview to our 12 Basic Needs Course: bit.ly/3UQcWeq
Website: bit.ly/3ybk8Jf
Do You Have Complex Trauma? Take the QUIZ: bit.ly/3QGbzMV
*****
Every child needs to know how to find healthy friends, and how to distinguish between safe people and unsafe people; and they need to know what process to undergo in order to figure that out. They also need to know what to do when they encounter parts things in people that make them feel uncomfortable or annoyed. Do they reject the person or accept them?
Try a FREE Preview of One of Our Online Courses: bit.ly/3UQcWeq
*****
Become a Member!
Access ALL our Courses, Webinars, 1:1 Coaching, Group Coaching & Online Communities: bit.ly/3QIpDWf
Understand the Development of Complex Trauma in Your Life
Online Course: 12 Basic Needs
bit.ly/3UQcWeq
Discover how Addictions are Formed and Find Healthy Ways to Cope
Online Course: Addictions + Complex Trauma
bit.ly/4bbUYsL
Learn How to Parent Yourself and a Child with Complex Trauma
Online Course: Parent Bootcamp
bit.ly/44RpLJ7
Are You Ready to Begin YOUR Healing Journey? Inquire TODAY: bit.ly/3wE68at
Ready to Dig Deep and Learn Tools to Recover From the Negative Effects of Complex Trauma?
Online Course: LIFT Online Learning
bit.ly/4bwZ26I
Tim has explained how friendships develop and what to look for in a friend. I’ve never had any education on friendship. It’s taken me until I’m 50 to understand. Thanks Tim
God works through men like tim. Thanks again Tim. ur the man
By these criterion, none of the people i call friends would pass this test 😢😢
This is the first time I've understood what trauma bonding really means, thank you, you explain things so meticulously, you are a wonderful teacher
What Tim says isn't what trauma bonding is. I would say what Tim has said here is people connecting via their shared trauma. Basing their connection on shared trauma and not shared values. Trauma bonding is way more serious and part of abusive relationships which stops people from leaving them.
So helpful especially when defining and explaining trauma bonding (second type) and reminding us that personality (innate) and character (shaped in the first 7-17 years by our treatment) are COMPLETELY SEPARATE and both matter in compatibility.
Unbelievably brilliant information thank you you described my experience completely
Tim’s talks are like listening to a stranger diagram the wiring of my thinking.
Us CPTSD folks don’t know this stuff…omg, thank you ❤
What a wonderful person. He is able to articulate things people just feel somewhere deep inside but are unable to describe. I love how he is not judgmental. Feels very safe and understanding. I also love that he gives people reassurance to let go of some relationships, even those they feel like they must keep or else they are not good people. I have been accused of holding grudges towards a narcissist. It is very important to realize the difference between a self preserving boundary and a grudge.
I am deeply in pain that is exactly my situation and keep fighting to be in healthy place all the time
Me too
ACA meetings are a good place to help you to heal.
I’d love to hear about Tim’s back story
He has implied things throughout the series, some abandonment issues etc. Me personally I appreciate him not involving his own story too deeply. It keeps the focus on the help he is providing so very selflessly. The result in his composure and energy is more then clear. We can see the fruits of his labor instead of focusing on the dead branches that he cut along the way.
Thank you for your help.
I needed this. Thank you💛🙏🏽🙏🏽
Tim, I thank you for your helpful content dueing my season of self discovery and I thank God for making sure I came across it.
And thank the youtube algorithm that suggested Tim's awesome videos! 😊
What I like about Part 16 and 17 is that it's really a take on radical acceptance.
This is incredibly helpful!!! Explained with such clarity
Excellent lecture, thanks! I enjoy the addition of the bible study, very interesting.
No contact from many is tough
Sometimes you gotta self persevere
Well, I am glad at this age to at least have a road map now as I have been struggling all my life with how to create a healthy life with safe people. And, myself trying to be a safe person. Tim, you have really done a beautiful thing here with these videos, thank you -
Great video with a lot of good information that can be easily applied to one's life. I had a lot of misconceptions about what makes a good relationship and unfortunately learned to be a People Pleaser due to my dysfunctional family of origin. I no longer will allow passive-aggressive controlling people in my life. Thank you for this useful information.
This is an incredible breakdown of a very complicated process. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you! Iam in trauma treatment.. The more I understand and going through healing the more people around me must go... I ty to set boundaries but their actions tell me they don't approve.. I have had a lot of trauma bounding with others throughout my life..And I've set boundaries and many of them aren't able to change. That's why I can't be with them if they don't take responsibility over their behavior. . I have had to cut some people out and it made my life smaller.. Iam working on.. It's OK not having alot of friends.. I need funktionell, respectful relationship. It's still hard setting boundaries.. Often it's all or nothing or.. When I set boundaries I get the silent treatment for setting boundaries from that so called friend... I don't feel safe around new people anymore..
Hi. Just mentioning the importance to understand boundaries are not for others, they are for you. Not others have to follow your boundaries but you. If you stick w/your boundaries then others will either respect that or not. Boundaries are not there to try to change other ppl’s behavior whatsoever. Boundaries are not rules to others of what and what not to do. Boundaries are essentially your way of thinking, your self esteem, discernment, values, ethics and morals. If you are looking for friends than you are looking for comparability with others who share the same boundaries. Set an example. Have standards not expectations. Best of luck, good folks are out there.
Iam not talking about changing people.. Bounderies goes both way.s..🙏
This man reminds me of the essence of the scripture passage that says,
"Proverbs 16:7-31 KJV. When a man's ways please the LORD, He maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him. "
Tim, it is evident you are a servant of God who has humbled himself under the mighty hand of God, where God is now lifting you up using you greatly for many! Thank you for your devotion to God and his kingdom service to others. God bless you
The 4 C’s of trust can be there for many, many years and the person can still betray you badly. People also change.
Thank you for saying that if you see kids having issues the parents need to heal to provide the environment for kids to feel.
Thank you
Thank you Tim
And that is exactly what I just did.
Thank you 🙏🏽
Yes, great video. But at the end of the third minute, the focus changes abruptly at a critically important truth, from "Where am I going to find healthy people??" to how to evaluate individuals personality vs character. All the content is very helpful but I don't know how or where to turn for healthy connection. I feel desperate for this.
That's what the videos r all about. Work on yourself,have ambitions even if they are small, learn something new every month , 8 hrs for sleep 8 hrs for job and 8 for yourself! exercise, take care of ur diet, have a moral code, live a life of principle based on natural laws : if someone tries to cross boundaries , remind them of ur what principle u follow . The rest will be magic!
P.s I just didn't reply to you but this is a reminder for myself too.
We get healthy individuals by becoming healthy ourselves. Do your work, your kind will find you....
this is all true sir, and I really have lots of trauma into my life and I know that if my biological father who also has a last name Fletcher, didn't left me behind I will be so happy because all of those abuse and working early at my young age to be a breadwinner of my family didn't happen to me
God bless you Tim!!
Thank you!
Unfortunately for me I can't do half in half out relationships either friends or romantic. The only people I accept as a human and flawed my sibling & 2 friends, that even a challenge sometimes.
very nice video.....eye opening and informative...
i was just talking to my pastor about this a few weeks ago
31:46 so true. 👌🏻
I think I learned how to do this by accident. For me, to vet people takes a lot of time. I have been hurt so much in my past that I take a lot of time. The one time I did not, stepped up the time table, it was a total disaster. Best take the time and look for quality over quantity.
Well, now I know why I’ve been like a prey animal my whole life 😅 got way too close to people way too fast!
Could someone explain me the last part, I don’t really understand the story, my English ist not good enough.
it's really hard to find the real true person sir because most of time the really problem is jealousy, I'm a friendly honest person but because of others jealousy someone doing me wrong and I can feel that this person didn't want me to have a good life and this person is just here people I know and some of family members of my mother side step brother
Do you know why you may attact those kinds of people (jealous) to your life? Not everyone is that way. Sometimes we attract a certain characteristic because of something deep, hidden within us. I hope you find out why so you can experience non jealous friendships. They are out there. Good luck! 🙏🏼
No. One. Taught. Me. This
Read Pete Walker’s book CPTSD. Reparenting means teaching yourself now.
Check out ACA meetings too. You have the power now.
I think some of the recent videos are lacking in their appropriate Re-parenting playlist, JFYI.
Way to divide people and turn them against the actually traumatized
24:20
I have a toxic family 😢
Yes they constantly try to hurt me
I'm sorry but I cannot accept my step brother that always hurting me beating me up wanted to kill me for how many times and I don't know why that it's hard to put him in jail even they already can see what his doing to me and his only my step brother and I spend my time keep helping him before but I helped a person who will just going to kill me and I will keep on praying that he will go to jail because he doesn't want to change
Idora you don't have the obligation to be around someone who's hurting you just because you're blood related. You can love him from a safe distance and even go no contact and pray for his delivery/recovery and wish him well. But by helping him you kind of make yourself look better and him weak so it might even reactivate his anger because of that imbalance. To say sacrifice is different from putting yourself in the position of victim. By letting him hurt you and mistreat you you are partially responsible and allow him to misbehave.
Grow
Biological family are definitely not in the safe circle. Sigh
No one is going to lie for you and tell your story !! When I ha e the answers as to why you couldn't call anyone !! As to why you waited so long to call anyone the second time ! Not because you were been nice !! I have the answer on why you can go on vacations and buy trucks after claiming that happened to you !! Because I happen to know your story is false !! I saw you made it !! Witness tampering is what's called !! And I'm denouncing them be aise instead of getting court date and time ! Like it was asked for 3 years . They harass sabotage and threats !!
Thank you
Thank you