I try to read comments and respond as I’m able. But please understand, I’m not here for approval. Nor am I here to argue and debate. My wife and I don’t even argue, so I’m not going to argue nor debate anyone online. A lot of people are hanging in the balance and confused in dating. I’m here to bring clarity from a professional perspective birthed in the trenches of dating disasters. My view points are solutions to the chaos. If you don’t agree, that’s fine with me. You don’t have to share that with me unless you have a question with it to move the conversation forward. I will seek to understand, then be understood. I ask you to do the same. Everyone can criticize the messenger, but while doing so, find the courage to start a page and share your message if you feel it to be so right that the world needs to hear it. I can’t control the comment section, but what I don’t want is for someone hanging in the balance to be confused because someone commented without even watching the full video. Thank you to those of you who can agree to disagree in a healthy way without personal attacks and pettiness. Keep pressing! I’m not slowing down, and the message God gives me will be shared, regardless of it sits well with the masses or not. Thank you! Be blessed!
The Bless Tribe definitely approves of all your messages. We’re here to learn and grow healthy relationships. May God continue to provide you with wisdom, knowledge and strength. We desire healthy marriages like yours and Sheri’s.
May God also continue to grow your wisdom and understanding so He can use you more. And I will continue watching, applying and sharing your videos just as I always have. God bless you too.
My husband and I started as friends because we both wasn't ready for a relationship considering our situation but knew we wanted to date each other, we never had sex or talk sexual either he respected me. After fixing our situation we reconnected he asked me to be his girlfriend and within a few months we were in engagement. He respected all my boundaries the main one is not to live together before marriage. Long story short 6 years still together & he's still a gentleman, respectful & still my best friend & loving husband. Ladies please listen to Tony dont argue, everything Tony said a man should do my husband has done & more.
The first six months of your relationship is to lay the foundation: 1. You are intentional and dating with purpose. 2. Build friendship while in a relationship. 3. Ladies, don't expect a man to pay for you. 4. No sleeping together, or any kind of sex. Be blessed✌🏽
Tony, you are right. People move too fast these days... Woman are afraid men will get bored or disinterested with moving this slow and REALLY getting to know one another, so we do too much for men to "keep them" interested... It doesn't work, but some of us just need to learn to stop doing the same thing looking for different results. If he loses interest, he's not for you. Simple as that. Someone else will find you outstanding.
You dont have to convince us to watch until the end. We will watch a 1 hour video if you record it. You are literally changing the lives if women who grew up without fathers.
I agree so much! Every time he uploads a video I stop what I’m doing to put my earphones in. I’m currently engaged and grew up without a father and one day I stumbled across Tony on UA-cam. I’m not on any social media at all so I knew God sent me to him. He has changed my outlook on guys and relationships tremendously. Thank you Tony and your messages are very clear.
SOME OF US WOMEN HAD FATHERS THAT LIVED IN THE HOME ,BUT WORKED ALOT AND DIDN'T TEACH US! AND OTHER WOMEN DIDN'T HAVE NO FATHER AT ALL OR NO FATHER FIGURE AROUND. SO THIS ALL DEPENDS ON THE SITUATION .ALL OF US WOMEN ARE HERE FOR THE SAME REASON TO GET THESE LESSONS LEARNED! FROM TONY ! KEEP LISTENING AND TAKING NOTES! AND ALWAYS WATCHING ALL OF TONY'S VIDEOS ! THAT HE POSTS DAILY! KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK! KEEP BRINGING US THOSE GREAT WORDS OF WISDOM! SO TRULY RIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! ALSO I HAVE WATCHED TONY'S VIDEOS FOR LONG TIME! JUNE 2021
And ladies a date isn’t you or him cooking at either of your homes . Edit : If you are in the first couple of months of meeting him and you not trying to give it up I say this . If I don’t know this person and I’m not trying to give it up than I’m going to try not to put myself in that situation or try to be weak . He’s still a stranger. It’s not about spending money or being seen . It’s about setting boundaries and being safe. You saying yes for them to come to your home or you theirs and you asking to start doing relationship things too early . Sure you can do it anywhere but It’s a no for me
Yes, women are independent, getting degrees, and have good jobs, but we still want to be treated like a lady, when we are asked out on dates. Open the car door for me, pull out my chair. That speaks to his character and how he values women.
Thank you. Sometimes i feel like I’m being punished because I have degrees and a good job. I’m independent but still a lady. But so many men holler “well you independent now”. What?! That means I’m asset but some men are too simple to realize that.
@@lcjones4682 I understand because I have had this same conversation with grown boys that think because I am independent and do well for myself that he can just fall back..No, sir, it doesn't work like that and that's a turnoff for me. I will not entertain grown boys that think like that. We can be cool, but as far as dating or entering into a relationship, that's a no for me.
I ✍ cosign in FULL AGREEMENT about: Abstainers being led by love instead of lust, nor paying rent/bills every month and year for acquaintances or incapable women. However...I'm sorry Mr. Gaskins is on some SERIOUS BS regarding: "Me and my wife don't have arguments..." may not, but, you both have disagreements, which can also be seen as or resulting in the fallout of a potential argument. So if she doesn't verbalize her disappointment, she'll definitely act out her dissatisfaction by silently manipulating her indifference. Furthermore, the fact he says "...because of feminism, men are not being chivalrous..." True; but isn't he a self proclaimed "dating coach?" Therefore and shouldn't it be his intent, mission to guide, and instruct to motivate his selective group of unchivalrous (broke, stingy, low budget, underachieving, low scale/expectations, ill mannered) males into becoming chivalrous "real and good men" whom are able to control their egos? Surely, I've noticed fleets of videos on YT instructing women "to control our emotions." Yet, both men and women, need to realize that anything sexual as payment for food, a financial obligation or personal hardship is NOT an equal nor worthy exchange. However, respect, gratitude, praise and loyalty, aka exclusivity is, and can be expressed non sexually. Lastly, he claimed to have been an "all time paying player?" Did he mean formerly NBA, NFL/AFL or a PGA player? Because if not; most likely, he was "out in 'nem streets...hustlin' and slangin' doe'..." And even as a "dealer" and player, according to him, he would STILL pay. He did mention before, that his baby mama, default wifey, cut him loose because of it. Also most playas, pimps, revered as "OG's" are master manipulators of living off and extorting OPM/OPS (other peoples money/scrillo). I mean really dawg... : "u can take the man (or dog) OFF street, but u CAN'T take the street OUT the man...." *As a married person, dated 2 yrs. + of 9 yrs. married (sex afterwards) I'm not arguing, I'm respectively communicating the contrast to my dark and lovely 'dating coach' brotha'.
Every Player I've dated opened doors & pulled out chairs. They've even paid for dates in the beginning. The tables always turned once they thought I was hooked or arguments started. Be careful with your expectations.
Women, we need to listen. Like really listen. Here’s a man giving us the game for FREE and we getting mad because we don’t agree? You don’t gotta agree to understand. Understand first, then decide how to move. Thank you Mr Gaskins for keeping it all the way 💯, it’s thankless work sometimes
Definitely!!!!! It is sooooooooo darn irritating that their here SEEKING answers but then want to bash the messenger! Be quiet and listen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will not pay for a date that a man asked me on...and if I do..best believe it will be his first and last...I am very independent and have a BOSS mindset...but I am also old fashioned and believe that a Grown ass man will court the woman he is interested in...too many “men” these days want to play the female role
Even a young man, teenager even should pay for the first date. Go where you can afford. Even if the woman for some reason asked the guy out, if he accepted he should still pay just to be polite. Its the principle. If things work out and the couple is young or financially just starting out they can figure it out and make it work with carry out or other inexpensive options once a commitment is in place.
Thank you so much! This works for the older woman/man relationships as well. I'm a 64y/o woman and, until 11 months ago, I intentionally became celibate/abstinent because I grew tired of being in relationship with self-centered men. After my divorce, I took a break (didn't know it would be for 11 years) went back to school and finished my degree, then took care of me and getting to know who I am and what I wanted in a relationship. I'm still learning. As an older woman, you help me a lot in my new beginnings. I really love hearing from you. Thanks again, Mr. Gaskins. So many women need to hear this. You're real!!
I Know that I've been dating wrong in the past. It'll start off as getting to know each other then getting intimate too early. This year, I put an end to the madness, and been watching your videos along with others to deprogram my mental and physical. Great video Mr.Gaskins👑
I thought the man was paying for the date because he desired to spend time with me. I believe men invite women out to enjoy our company. I don’t pursue men. So, if a man would like my company he asks me out. As a feminine woman I don’t believe it’s my place to pay for a date. I believe in purchasing gifts for special occasions, celebrating his accomplishments, and showing my appreciation in various ways.
Peace Freedom I 100% agree. You gotta take what he says and apply it to you as a woman! I take what he says about what women should do with a grain of salt. I think both players and gentlemen pay for dates. I’m judged by him because I expect him to pay, and wont pull my wallet out....then thats really too bad for him somethings off with his perception. I think showing my thankfulness for him paying afterward is what really matters. What if he’s a player and then I offer to pay... like man that’s terrible. no no no.
This is why I date older men. They will NOT let you pay regardless. They are from the old school and they understand what it takes. Tony’s advice is cool if you are dating 20, 30, perhaps even some 40 year old guys. But I’m trying to find the men.
JJohns1980 I date a 27 year old and he refuses to let me pay for anything at all. I’ve dated older men up to 40 and one in particular said “I don’t see why I can’t have someone take care of me for once in my life” 😒. So I don’t know if it’s an age thing as much as it’s a maturity thing. And we all know that age has nothing to do with maturity level
NOT this one lol! I'm still a virgin and will stay one until marriage no matter how many paid dates it takes to get there😂. Just ask all the men boys I dumped for keep pressuring me for sex even after I warned them from the jump about my abstinence. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind spending time with my suitor without him buying me a gift and/or taking me out all the time. But best believe he is going to put forth effort. It's human biology to not appreciate things that come too easy to them. We place the most value on what we sacrifice/invest for. And in relationships it is no different.
@@aresney6449 CONGRATULATIONS......continue to Honor God by honoring your body which is His temple! Be cautious....my niece, also a virgin, met her husband and weeks into their engagement, they were intimate and she was 3 weeks pregnant on her wedding date! They couldn't wait.....BUT you must keep one another accountable and WAIT until your wedding day!! 🙏🏽
@@gloriajjackson5035 Wow thank you for your encouragement and sharing that powerful lesson from your knowledge and family experience! I wasn't thinking about the fact that temptations grow stronger when you're engaged. Now I understand that the engagement stage is not safe to let your guard down and allow yourself divulge into deeper emotions and that I must keep my same determination until my wedding night! Thank you very much for that much needed reminder. May our Heavenly Father further bless you and yours 🙏 ♥️
Unpopular Opinion: I still believe a real man of integrity will pay for the date. Not because it's expected, but because it's in his character 🤷 And this is coming from a female who will gladly pay her half
@@IvyElizabeth918 unpopular, because like he also said the societal norm today is 50/50. Not because he said it, but because of what is actually being done today
Lol, if a man wants to go half on a date, then the next date he should expect my hair to still be in rollers, or me wearing sweatpants or wearing no makeup. The whole point of the date is to put your best foot forward, especially when it comes to the man who is PURSUING the woman. If he cant afford to pay for the dates, then he shouldn't be dating. Also, if he asks you to split the bill, most likely hes taking other women on dates as well. Dating multiple wkmen can get expensive for men.
Yes, why should I support a man trying to multi-date . If he wants to date multiple people and is saving for a house or business well women do too. He is contradicting himself a little from his close your legs video. I understand his perspective because some men feel entitled regardless of paying. The mere fact that women have to worry about this is because some men might try to pay to play as he stated in another video.
@Tony Gaskins I don't understand why a woman is supposed to cater to the wrong mindset some men have, thinking they earned access to her body just because they payed for her meal. By paying for herself in order to "show him that he doesn't own me" she's agreeing with the wrong mindset that he in fact WOULD own her if he payed her meal. Why not weeding out guys with this wrong mindset from the beginning, by letting him pay and see if he reacts angry and entitled if she don't "put out" afterwards?
If the budget is not adequate he must bow out...a prostitute and escort sells herself and gets her money upfront...a woman being courted over a meal and expecting her meal paid for isnt selling herself.. The man paying for the date is paying for the setting/ environment/ Public attraction in which he is Being given the opportunity to discover this woman he is interested in. The woman is being courted and giving of her time to discover this man...paying for the meal is a sign of responsibility and accountability for this man showing he is fiscally sound....women are receivers...
I agree. Steve Harvey said that a man is suppose to pay on the first date. He said a man is suppose to court you. If a man can't afford to buy you a plate of food, then he shouldn't be dating until he gets his finances and himself together.
@@taynaburton5828 First date is key, the man should 100% pay for first dates. After the first couple dates, and its going well & if this is a young couple they just need to communicate and compromise and find more affordable/ creative options ( restaurants can add up). When your young in your career where do people think this money is coming from (we do want those with legal jobs right, lol)
I think what Tony is saying for most men when they pay for something they want something in return. For most men their goals is sex period. So when they put effort into dating and spend their money its all focused on one thing. Not all men but most men.
Disagreed with not allowing a man to PAY. Make-up, hair style, fragrances, clothing, shoes, handbags or anything women of worth are for the man to experience from a woman especially if she's pretty such as myself. My expensive items & fragrances are worth the 💰. He must pay. Plus telling women to go half is a set up. If she pay half he will expect her to pay of every thing from courting to marriage! I'm not a 50/50 Pickmesha. Having him pay puts him in the masculine role as he should be. Lames and dustys don't pay or do 50/50 those wouldn't have the privilege to waste my time or products. Good video as usual.
Perfectly said. When you know what you have to offer you won't tolerate anything less. Even something as small as paying on dates. I don't want anything less.
I agree with you! It sets the stage up for 50/50. So after six months then somehow it will change to him paying 100%? No, not when he is use to 50/50. He most likely will stay 50/50. Then there you have it...your a 50/50 roommate now. I'm sorry but don't establish paying half because it will be hard to backpedal out of that. How you start the foundation and standard from day one, is how the expectation will be moving forward. We ladies need a protector and provider, not 50/50.
This is so right. Dated a guy and he paid for all the dates. I mean literally swept me off my feet every week for months. 4 months in i started seeing signs of being a player. He had multiple women and he was Doing things illegal. That’s why he had so much money to treat all these women so good. I now see what Tony means when he say if the man don’t smell like Jesus now days RUN 😂😂😂
Exactly...guy paid for my date and was looking for me to go to his home I said no but at first he wanted to come and pick me up no dude I do not know you like that I can drive I will meet you then he was looking for me to drive to his house...player
Ladies PLEASE DO NOT PAY HALF FOR DATES IN THE BEGINNING!!! If he starts off doing half then he’ll continue to do half... and then eventually nothing. As time goes on you can help with dates.. but it’s ok to let a man impress you in the beginning... don’t make their job easier for them. If a plate of food means you’re using him... then that’s the man you don’t want. It’s just food not a mortgage or car note...
I dont know about the Dutch thing. I think if a Man is courting, he should pay. I'm independent not cause I'm proud, I just haven't found my provider Man. I guess the feminist movement did mess things up, cause it seems everyone for themselves. I want that good old fashioned but healthy lol love. I'm miss independent who wants to give these "pants" to Mr I got it lol
@@dimediamond Yes, we all have to depend on ourselves. I don't believe most black women have experienced being taken care of by men( that has not been our history in this country). We are getting degrees and etc without husband and family support. Most women are not depending date/ meal from a man. Where did the idea that women use men for meal come from?
After a situationship that had me looking stupid! i told God and said 'Lord, Maybe i dont know how to date correctly, show me how to" its like he heard my prayer and directed me to Tony Gaskins.You are God sent.Listening to you has really opened my eyes and helped me to take actions that benefits me spirtually, emotionally and mentally.
Be Intentional!✅ Build a Friendship!✅✅ No Sex. Period!✅✅✅ And Be Blessed‼️💯 I am 42 years young and I'll never eat peach cobbler the same, I had no idea what you were saying until the very end. I had no clue. Good God!🤦🏽♀️
I agree with being an independent and not being bought however, when I'm asked out I will not pay for the meal, I will choose an inexpensive option and I'll do the tip, generously. ❤
@@mytomp Yes, some of them will. Some of them will see it the way Tony describes in the video, those men won't keep expecting it, they'll just appreciate what you bring to the table and be encouraged to be a great man to a mature women.
I disagree with the paying for dates for 6 whole months. Our worth is not in the amount of money we have or don't have, so I don't feel it's likened to prostitution if a man pays for me, I don't feel weak or bought. I understand some men these days might SEE it that way, And if he feels that was a transaction, hes in for a surprise and that's not the man for me anyway. If an adult man asks me out, I expect him to pay. If we're dating and I "take you out" I expect to pay.not saying I've done it though lol. Even with my girl friends, if I invite them to lunch, i pay!! I believe there are other ways to show we are independent and there are other ways to find out if a man is a player other than him paying for the date. If we are friends with no intention of anything more, THEN that's different and I will ALWAYS intend to pay my way. But if we both agreed the intent is there to build to another level, find something creative or low cost because I am not paying if you are supposed to be courting me....there's too many situations women end up in later on where a man doesn't want to pay and everything is 50\50 even in marriage. Don't even buy groceries.
THANK YOU! I don't even understand why a woman is supposed to adapt to the wrong mindset some men have, thinking they earned access to her body just because they payed for her meal. By paying for herself in order to "show him that he doesn't own me" she's confirming the wrong mindset that he WOULD own her if he payed her meal. Why not weed out guys with this wrong mindset from the beginning, by letting him pay and see if he reacts angry and entitled if we don't "put out" afterwards?
@@SermonsSubtitled right. I dont even feel right offering cause I know I shouldnt be paying if you are courting me. Also, what if a woman actually does NOT have the money even if shes independent. She shouldnt have to question if she can afford to go on a date that was offered to HER. I understand in this day and age a lot of women AND men think differently about finances in relationships. But I guess I am more traditional in some sense and proggressive in others. I want a man who believes the same. Who understands courtship but also understands respect. Im independent but I still want a man with the provider mindset. Its not about the money, its the mindset. I'm saying theres grown men in homes with women that refuse refuse!! To pay bills, to work, buy food. Put gas in her car..And guess what, It happens to the independent women mostly. I habe nothing to prove, you can pay for my dinner
Linda B Exactly!!! Any man that’s has an attitude about or expect sex for paying for meal I weed them out. And I’m interested in marriage so if you can’t pay for meal how can you provide for a wife and family.
As Tony was saying before he married his wife he was a player so he paid for the entire date and then some when he was with a woman. Just because he pays for a date or dates doesn't mean he is a good man. If he expects you to pay then that's when you want to run. In the 21st century a woman has to change her mindset when dating these days because the men you are dating their mindset is different.
I really needed to hear this today. Dating isn’t something I’ve been accustomed to doing. I just meet a guy, decide if we like each other or not. If we do the relationship starts. That’s all wrong because my track record in picking the wrong men is terrible. I’ve been single for almost 4 years. Before watching this video, I had my mind made up to date with intention and purpose. Get to know the man and build on a friendship first. I’m sick and tired of dating wrong and want to find the man God has for me. Thank you very much for sharing your wisdom, great advice and I appreciate you. Be Blessed! 😊
Be intentional, Build a friendship, NO Sex!!! This video came right on time! I have a date coming up and I plan on being intentional throughout my dating journey. I feel more at ease with the notes taken from here 💕 Be blessed.
I had given up on dating because it was so hard and so disappointing. Now that you have posted this session I have the knowledge I need to date the correct way. If the opportunity presents itself. Thank you Tony!
Tony I never looked at it this way . I was always taught a man duty is to pay for a date. I have even offered to pay for dinner on a date and a man took it as an insult. Dating was really hard for me because I enter in a marriage early without experiencing dating. When I divorced and tried to date I was expecting what my husband had showed me. I also had the Friends first before a relationship but now I see what your saying. Another great message as usual. Be Blessed
H Cohane offering to pay for the entire date is insulting. Offering to pay your half isn’t an insult to a real man. He will thank you, but politely decline and pay the whole bill himself.
In a business context, if you'd ask some important person to meet up with you, because YOU WANT something from them, (help,advice, mentoring, pitching your business-idea to them, etc.) it goes without saying that YOU should pay for their meal, in return you are getting their time and undivided attention to hear out what you have to offer them. This person is not "like a prostitute" and you don't own them just because you pay for their meal. Why should it be any different with women? If the man wants something from a woman, getting to know her, courting her and demonstrating how good of a provider he would be, he must be willing to invest in her. If she's not worthy enough to be invested in, time-wise or financially, he's just not that into her and wants to hold back in order to go all out and fully invest in the women he really wants!
If he asked you out should you not expect him to pay? If he can't afford to take you out on a date is he even ready to date? And honestly, based on what I see around me, most women get played by average men with whom they go 50/50, and broke men. Edit: It would be interesting to hear Tony elaborate further on this 50/50 dating situation. Is offering to pay a way to test the man? Because as much as Tony says a woman not offering to pay creates a certain mindset in a man; a woman being expected to pay also creates a certain mindset in her. Being expected to pay half would make me question the man's drive and his ability to provide for our family should we decide to take things further. Also, a man who thinks he owns a woman by paying for dates would come off as a grown boy; not a grown man. I don't think we'd even last 6 hours, let alone 6 months, in that case. Based on previous videos, it also seems as though the woman is expected to be at her best - independent, look good, in shape, smart, boss, feminine, money right, pleasant demeanour, etc, etc. (something with which I'm perfectly fine because I do want to be at my best) but I don't understand why she would then be in a position to entertain a man who may not have himself together enough to pay for a date which he initiated. That sounds imbalanced, to me.
Well said. That is definitely the narrative. Woman have to be near perfect but who are making videos aimed at men stepping up being men. Most married women I know are married to grown boys...they are the cream of the crop and they settled for men who want to do 50/50. At this point I’m about being my best for ME and my purpose and if God chooses to present a man to me ..wonderful. But I’m sick of all the videos on what women need to do. I know awesome single women who can’t find quality partners because men get a pass in everything.
Tony been married over a decade so he may be a little out of touch of what it’s really like out here trying to date today’s men. He still my favorite ❤ 🙏🏾
This message was 🔥🔥🔥. I appreciate these daily uploads. I have always dated wrong when I knew all thses things. Now, I'm getting the knowledge and focusing on my 3 B's because I'm not interested in a relationship right now.
@@TonyGaskins I have to, especially when I see that previous relationships didn't work when I was dating wrong. Clearly what I was doing was out of order.
Preach!!!!.... Am a nurse & u so RIGHT... singing on the Mick lol is BAD)) .. SO much diseases out here & your body is a temple of Christ....(( BE BLESS tony🙏
@@ebone1974 I am currently in a 7 year relationship that I am in the process of leaving. I am speaking from a place of hurt, so I shouldn't comment on this topic.
@Velinda Lateece I’m sorry to hear this and know how it hurts. I divorced in April after 8 years of marriage. I still believe in love and know that since God is love and my desire is to please him and live for him, my desire for love will never dissipate. I declare I will be found by a man of God and will marry again. You will get through this! I appreciate your response and will definitely say a prayer for your heart not the be hardened and for you hurt to heal. Be encouraged!
Velinda Lateece i pray for your strength and courage to leave and wash your hands. Don’t regret, don’t turn back... And forgive yourself and start your journey to healing one day at time. Great pain means a great reward. Love is beautiful it will find you when your heart is ready. Love and light to you 💫
I listened until the end found new insight on dating and HOW with biblical and logical standpoints. It made SO MUCH SENSE! Thank you for your wisdom and be Blessed!
Again yet another confirmation. Every word you spoke is my mindset. Be blessed. I've been told I'm too old-fashioned and I'll never find anynody. So far they're right.
Tony this was hilarious yet dead on! Many of us are in situationships that we created because we started off on the wrong path. Women hate when I say this but a lot of us are in terrible situationships because we didn’t love ourselves enough to set boundaries.
My issue is I keep running across guys who just want to waste my time or just date they claim you are friends in an attempt to have sex with you and when I reject they disappear 🙄 I just want sensible provider protector men the opposite is in great abundance regardless of their age unfortunately
Agreed! Men don't know how to date the right way. All they want is sex. How long do you think it would take to find a man who'll stick around for six months of friendship? During this foundation building (I support this concept) do you just ignore signs that he's fooling around with other women?
@@joanneking2081 It appears you just have to pretend you dont know they are talking to others or just dont mention it but personally unless we both agreed that we are committed to each other and mutually exclusive I wont hold my breathe for that or sweat wondering if they are that's too much stress that I dont have the energy for as long as I am being loved, cherished, treasured and being taken care of I am good. And even if he does say you are mutually exclusive he might still be doing whatever anyways.
@@Introvertsan I don't think I'm incapable of ignoring that shit if we're committed. Hetting to know through friend building, maybe. Wonder what Tony would say.
Thank you, Tony. You have no idea how bang on you are to an on again/off again pair I know. I told this to him years ago but now they're off again and he's almost lost it all, I am going to share this and hope it helps. Thanks again for your straight up words of wisdom.
Honestly I don’t go on a date unless I have the money to pay for the full bill. I’ve heard stories of men actually going to the bathroom and leaving women stuck with the bill.
This is a life changing perspective for me. I'm a PK (pastors kid) and never had this explained to the point I can grab and understand. This is honestly freeing me from past hurt, and accepting Loving myself and knowing my worth. Thanks I can't stop the tears of repentance. Your awesome I want to thank you for your wisdom. Stay blessed
It's good to do things differently especially if the same way of doing things is not working...Tony Gaskins comes with a difference...God bless you Tony!
You are IT!!!! I now take my lunch break at work to coincide with your videos, God Bless you Mr Gaskins cause you are the TRUTH on relationships!!!! And I believe it’s best to offer to pay 1/2 cause times are not easy on anyone’s pocket, PLUS, I don’t wanna owe him dessert!!!!! Great material, AGAIN
I snickered when you said “Broke minded”😭😭😭OOP! Don’t step on my toes Tony🤣🤣 I can find diff and fun dates for us to do inexpensively, but if you invite me on a date...ya paying! Period 🤣 I don’t mind tipping though.
@@TonyGaskins I did this with my x I see after a yr or so o was dead wrong. I used to let him pay all the time he was not working consistently temp jobs and I was making more. I always expected him to pay but On odd times I would bring him lunch or give him rides as if I was his wife when we had moved too fast. Sex within the 4th mth or so it took me 4 years to see by that time I was already in the friends zone because I did realize I also had slipped in to friends with benefits. Very long story 6 yr situationship that is now fizzling out that he found someone that seems to played her cards well. I took him to get a job stood there while he saved and paid for a truck and bought property that I was not invited to he a party of but was on his accounts to see him take ladies on dates and treat then well. While I stayed in the background as a hold me down friend but I see I did go in wrong he was not a bad guy we stared out very wrong and I allowed it because I did not know how to date and what I wanted Thank you so much. It took my 4 yrs in to put the mirror up to myself and my sister who is married bring a lot to light to me she said that I felt entitled to him when he was not in a position to do most things I wanted and it pushed him away turned him off from me.
Be intentional Build a friendship within a relationship No sex It took me into a 6yr situation to find out I did a lot wrong and take accountability for my pain I’m in now. This video is a yr old and I am just now seeing this Thank You TG
Tony Gaskins, you are so funny am laughing my head off how you said we singing on mic phone, eating peach cobbler, hot dogging lol 😂 but what you teach ain't nothing but the truth. We are dating wrong. And that is exactly what I've been doing .am learning from tuning in on u tube I look forward to hearing what you have to say every evening.
Yes God! I'm so thankful I came across your videos a week ago. Your videos are defiantly teaching me on dating. Thank you Tony Gaskins for allowing me to see my worth.
Microphone and peach cobbler took me OUT 🤣 Thanks for the insight Tony! I do believe a man that’s truly courting should pay for the meal, as it should be one of the ways he is showing a woman that he is capable of taking care of her in the progression to marriage. But no one is required to provide or give anything out of obligation.
So if you’re supposed to pay half the first 6 months... what happens after the 6 months? Wouldn’t that condition both parties to always pay half... I’m a little confused. May someone explain.
ebonie shenecé listen again; I said offer to pay. If he lets you pay, then pay your half. A man covering a woman is a marriage benefit, so even if it doesn’t happen in dating, it’s not the end of the world. It’s just setting you up to be more equal on the relationship.
ebonie shenecé I feel like it’s an initiation and eventually the man should see this woman is not just using me I feel comfortable providing for her since I know she’s not only using me. So I think it should not be an ongoing thing forever..
Tony I have a problem when you say it's ok to go dutch on the first date. Especially if it was him who asked me out and I took my time to be there and get there. Isn't it fare for him to compensate and cover the bill for both if he initiated the date. I agree with everything you say though, except for this part.
Thanks Mr.Gaskins been listening and sharing your videos to my friends we are so grateful for all you do! Your videos has helped me tremendously 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 Praise God ❤️
No Dutch offering! Toni this is sad. Let the man pay and when you're walking off add to the tip. Don't say NOTHING! Just drop tips here and there but say nothing. In fact the vibe a guys gives when he pays for something says everything about him. What he expects shows you who he is and you can move on. No feminine self respecting woman would be talking nickle and dime with a man.
I'm newly dating after getting a divorce. A guy tried to push my head down to rock the mic. I told him that's a husband privilege. He kept pressing me and I went home. He called later to apologize and to tell me he respected that. I dunno what has happened to men in the past 20 yrs but I'm already over dating and just focusing on being happy alone. I guess I'm too old fashioned. But I refuse to be treated like anything besides royalty.
He was totally out of line for even touching you in the first place to make you do that. That is sickening. Smh! First and last time would have been the case here.
Exactly.......and that was my first experience after 20 yrs. Younger guy, acted completely different once he felt we were alone. I guess that's what women do now off the bat. I'm just gonna opt out if this is really how men treat respectable women now.
@@sheloves3663 It is scary and they are willing to just screw anything with a vaginal cavity. Like to get to know a person and stop being so quick to take a plunge into someone. Smh!
2nd time watching. No desire to date right now strictly focusing on God, Motherhood, and my 3 B’s point blank PERI-OD! You’re changing lives Tony🙏🏾 be blessed 🙌🏾
I have been trying to get a session with you. If I don't know that I have learned so much from your youtubes and books in the past 2-3 weeks, and will continue to receive and apply the information. I left a relationship last Saturday. I got strength; I am healing and working on me. Intuition told me this a long while ago. Thank you God for now. You provided the language, knowledge and tools... "When the student is ready the teacher will appear." Continue to share the knowledge; I am receiving it and grateful to Father God! PS I event purchased your dad's book.
I’m doing homework while hearing this video and I had to stop and comment because he said “ladies, stop patting yourself on the back” 🤣🤣🤣 in reference to singing on the 🎤 😭😭😭 Stick a fork in me, I’m done. But honestly, you’re correct in every aspect! I can appreciate you being genuine because we are grown ups and how you’re speaking it is how the world will present it. So 🤷🏽♀️
I try to read comments and respond as I’m able. But please understand, I’m not here for approval. Nor am I here to argue and debate. My wife and I don’t even argue, so I’m not going to argue nor debate anyone online. A lot of people are hanging in the balance and confused in dating. I’m here to bring clarity from a professional perspective birthed in the trenches of dating disasters. My view points are solutions to the chaos. If you don’t agree, that’s fine with me. You don’t have to share that with me unless you have a question with it to move the conversation forward. I will seek to understand, then be understood. I ask you to do the same. Everyone can criticize the messenger, but while doing so, find the courage to start a page and share your message if you feel it to be so right that the world needs to hear it. I can’t control the comment section, but what I don’t want is for someone hanging in the balance to be confused because someone commented without even watching the full video. Thank you to those of you who can agree to disagree in a healthy way without personal attacks and pettiness. Keep pressing! I’m not slowing down, and the message God gives me will be shared, regardless of it sits well with the masses or not. Thank you! Be blessed!
I appreciate the information you provide to me. I'm learning and growing everyday.
Tony, may the blessings of the the Lord continue to rest on you. Exactly; they can get their own page!!!
The Bless Tribe definitely approves of all your messages. We’re here to learn and grow healthy relationships. May God continue to provide you with wisdom, knowledge and strength. We desire healthy marriages like yours and Sheri’s.
May God also continue to grow your wisdom and understanding so He can use you more. And I will continue watching, applying and sharing your videos just as I always have. God bless you too.
Amen, well said Tony.
My husband and I started as friends because we both wasn't ready for a relationship considering our situation but knew we wanted to date each other, we never had sex or talk sexual either he respected me. After fixing our situation we reconnected he asked me to be his girlfriend and within a few months we were in engagement. He respected all my boundaries the main one is not to live together before marriage. Long story short 6 years still together & he's still a gentleman, respectful & still my best friend & loving husband.
Ladies please listen to Tony dont argue, everything Tony said a man should do my husband has done & more.
This is beautiful to hear and VERY encouraging!👏🏾👏🏾💪🏾☺️
Savannah M 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Beautiful story. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for giving us hope!
Lovely story
I was complaining to my mom about my ex... she said “ You picked him “ .... that was a game changer in my mind
😆 lol
God loves Couture that’s powerful!
lol man
If my mom said 'you picked him' I'd reply "YOU raised me." ☺️
Dania Morris No ma’am, not my mother lol ...
The first six months of your relationship is to lay the foundation:
1. You are intentional and dating with purpose.
2. Build friendship while in a relationship.
3. Ladies, don't expect a man to pay for you.
4. No sleeping together, or any kind of sex.
Be blessed✌🏽
Anointed Stilettos thank you!!
@@TonyGaskins No problem.
My question is WHY NOT EXPECT A MAN TO PAY FOR YOU,??!!! What’s wrong with that he clearly doesn’t know about SHERASEVEN tips and advices
@@TheStageofKay what I understand by that is, you may not expect it but watch carefully what he does with that and judge accordingly. Cheers!
You are the bomb sis thank you.
Tony, you are right. People move too fast these days... Woman are afraid men will get bored or disinterested with moving this slow and REALLY getting to know one another, so we do too much for men to "keep them" interested... It doesn't work, but some of us just need to learn to stop doing the same thing looking for different results. If he loses interest, he's not for you. Simple as that. Someone else will find you outstanding.
Real talk
Exactly!!!👏🏾👏🏾
Exactly. You’re not on an audition. You’re getting to know each other. If it’s not a good fit; you just move on
"Singing on the microphone, eating peach cobbler" Tony, sir you really have a way with words, but they are truth!
“just because he want it, don’t mean he deserve it!!!” 🔥🔥
You dont have to convince us to watch until the end. We will watch a 1 hour video if you record it. You are literally changing the lives if women who grew up without fathers.
wow! thank you so much!
Agreed!!!!!
I agree so much! Every time he uploads a video I stop what I’m doing to put my earphones in. I’m currently engaged and grew up without a father and one day I stumbled across Tony on UA-cam. I’m not on any social media at all so I knew God sent me to him. He has changed my outlook on guys and relationships tremendously. Thank you Tony and your messages are very clear.
💯
SOME OF US WOMEN HAD FATHERS THAT LIVED IN THE HOME ,BUT WORKED ALOT AND DIDN'T TEACH US! AND OTHER WOMEN DIDN'T HAVE NO FATHER AT ALL OR NO FATHER FIGURE AROUND. SO THIS ALL DEPENDS ON THE SITUATION .ALL OF US WOMEN ARE HERE FOR THE SAME REASON TO GET THESE LESSONS LEARNED! FROM TONY ! KEEP LISTENING AND TAKING NOTES! AND ALWAYS WATCHING ALL OF TONY'S VIDEOS ! THAT HE POSTS DAILY! KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK! KEEP BRINGING US THOSE GREAT WORDS OF WISDOM! SO TRULY RIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! ALSO I HAVE WATCHED TONY'S VIDEOS FOR LONG TIME! JUNE 2021
Tony you don’t warm the car first you just drive right on off 😭😭😭 “singing on the microphone” “eating peach cobbler” 😂😂😂😂😂😂💀
Nwright TV Lolol
😂😂😂😂😂😂
so funny
Nwright TV 🤣😂🤣😂
🤦🤦🤦🤦😂😂😂😂😂
And ladies a date isn’t you or him cooking at either of your homes .
Edit :
If you are in the first couple of months of meeting him and you not trying to give it up I say this . If I don’t know this person and I’m not trying to give it up than I’m going to try not to put myself in that situation or try to be weak . He’s still a stranger. It’s not about spending money or being seen . It’s about setting boundaries and being safe.
You saying yes for them to come to your home or you theirs and you asking to start doing relationship things too early . Sure you can do it anywhere but It’s a no for me
HELLO!!!!
IMPACT BEAUTY Facts
Right😂
u make me laugh
So damn true.
Yes, women are independent, getting degrees, and have good jobs, but we still want to be treated like a lady, when we are asked out on dates. Open the car door for me, pull out my chair. That speaks to his character and how he values women.
Thank you. Sometimes i feel like I’m being punished because I have degrees and a good job. I’m independent but still a lady. But so many men holler “well you independent now”. What?! That means I’m asset but some men are too simple to realize that.
@@lcjones4682 I understand because I have had this same conversation with grown boys that think because I am independent and do well for myself that he can just fall back..No, sir, it doesn't work like that and that's a turnoff for me. I will not entertain grown boys that think like that. We can be cool, but as far as dating or entering into a relationship, that's a no for me.
I ✍ cosign in FULL AGREEMENT about: Abstainers being led by love instead of lust, nor paying rent/bills every month and year for acquaintances or incapable women.
However...I'm sorry Mr. Gaskins is on some SERIOUS BS regarding: "Me and my wife don't have arguments..." may not, but, you both have disagreements, which can also be seen as or resulting in the fallout of a potential argument. So if she doesn't verbalize her disappointment, she'll definitely act out her dissatisfaction by silently manipulating her indifference.
Furthermore, the fact he says "...because of feminism, men are not being chivalrous..." True; but isn't he a self proclaimed "dating coach?" Therefore and shouldn't it be his intent, mission to guide, and instruct to motivate his selective group of unchivalrous (broke, stingy, low budget, underachieving, low scale/expectations, ill mannered) males into becoming chivalrous "real and good men" whom are able to control their egos?
Surely, I've noticed fleets of videos on YT instructing women "to control our emotions." Yet, both men and women, need to realize that anything sexual as payment for food, a financial obligation or personal hardship is NOT an equal nor worthy exchange. However, respect, gratitude, praise and loyalty, aka exclusivity is, and can be expressed non sexually.
Lastly, he claimed to have been an "all time paying player?" Did he mean formerly NBA, NFL/AFL or a PGA player? Because if not; most likely, he was "out in 'nem streets...hustlin' and slangin' doe'..." And even as a "dealer" and player, according to him, he would STILL pay. He did mention before, that his baby mama, default wifey, cut him loose because of it. Also most playas, pimps, revered as "OG's" are master manipulators of living off and extorting OPM/OPS (other peoples money/scrillo). I mean really dawg... : "u can take the man (or dog) OFF street, but u CAN'T take the street OUT the man...."
*As a married person, dated 2 yrs. + of 9 yrs. married (sex afterwards) I'm not arguing, I'm respectively communicating the contrast to my dark and lovely 'dating coach' brotha'.
When did men become so comfortable being taken care of?
Every Player I've dated opened doors & pulled out chairs. They've even paid for dates in the beginning. The tables always turned once they thought I was hooked or arguments started. Be careful with your expectations.
Women, we need to listen. Like really listen. Here’s a man giving us the game for FREE and we getting mad because we don’t agree? You don’t gotta agree to understand. Understand first, then decide how to move. Thank you Mr Gaskins for keeping it all the way 💯, it’s thankless work sometimes
Definitely!!!!! It is sooooooooo darn irritating that their here SEEKING answers but then want to bash the messenger! Be quiet and listen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! JUNE2021
I will not pay for a date that a man asked me on...and if I do..best believe it will be his first and last...I am very independent and have a BOSS mindset...but I am also old fashioned and believe that a Grown ass man will court the woman he is interested in...too many “men” these days want to play the female role
Mskemonique224 Say that 💯
thank you. you saiid it all
PERIODT ‼️‼️
Say it again!
Even a young man, teenager even should pay for the first date. Go where you can afford. Even if the woman for some reason asked the guy out, if he accepted he should still pay just to be polite. Its the principle. If things work out and the couple is young or financially just starting out they can figure it out and make it work with carry out or other inexpensive options once a commitment is in place.
Thank you so much! This works for the older woman/man relationships as well. I'm a 64y/o woman and, until 11 months ago, I intentionally became celibate/abstinent because I grew tired of being in relationship with self-centered men. After my divorce, I took a break (didn't know it would be for 11 years) went back to school and finished my degree, then took care of me and getting to know who I am and what I wanted in a relationship. I'm still learning. As an older woman, you help me a lot in my new beginnings. I really love hearing from you. Thanks again, Mr. Gaskins. So many women need to hear this. You're real!!
Congrats on all the changes you made God bless you on your new journey im also on my new journey and im happy.👏👏
I Know that I've been dating wrong in the past. It'll start off as getting to know each other then getting intimate too early. This year, I put an end to the madness, and been watching your videos along with others to deprogram my mental and physical. Great video Mr.Gaskins👑
Same, so before you know it, its over because we done did everything and we wonder y 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Same 😭😭 thank god. We still young though 😂😂
I thought the man was paying for the date because he desired to spend time with me. I believe men invite women out to enjoy our company. I don’t pursue men. So, if a man would like my company he asks me out. As a feminine woman I don’t believe it’s my place to pay for a date. I believe in purchasing gifts for special occasions, celebrating his accomplishments, and showing my appreciation in various ways.
Exactly
Peace Freedom I 100% agree. You gotta take what he says and apply it to you as a woman! I take what he says about what women should do with a grain of salt. I think both players and gentlemen pay for dates.
I’m judged by him because I expect him to pay, and wont pull my wallet out....then thats really too bad for him somethings off with his perception.
I think showing my thankfulness for him paying afterward is what really matters. What if he’s a player and then I offer to pay... like man that’s terrible. no no no.
This is why I date older men. They will NOT let you pay regardless. They are from the old school and they understand what it takes.
Tony’s advice is cool if you are dating 20, 30, perhaps even some 40 year old guys.
But I’m trying to find the men.
JJohns1980 I date a 27 year old and he refuses to let me pay for anything at all. I’ve dated older men up to 40 and one in particular said “I don’t see why I can’t have someone take care of me for once in my life” 😒. So I don’t know if it’s an age thing as much as it’s a maturity thing. And we all know that age has nothing to do with maturity level
It’s about their mindset regardless of age. I’ve met men in their 40’s and near 50 that don’t mind letting you pay and will even ask to borrow money.
U shouldn't try to find any man. A man will find you
Nikki ****sits straight up in bed**** he said WHAT, sis !? 😦
Nikki 🤣🤣🤣 OMG!!! Throw that whole man in the trash!!! The nerve!!! 🤣
All those women talking about “I’m not offering to pay my half,” but will lay on their backs, and spread full eagle 🦅 .
No that right there is a truth many don’t want to discuss!! Won’t offer to pay their half but accept all kinds of mess and chaos!
NOT this one lol! I'm still a virgin and will stay one until marriage no matter how many paid dates it takes to get there😂. Just ask all the men boys I dumped for keep pressuring me for sex even after I warned them from the jump about my abstinence. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind spending time with my suitor without him buying me a gift and/or taking me out all the time. But best believe he is going to put forth effort. It's human biology to not appreciate things that come too easy to them. We place the most value on what we sacrifice/invest for. And in relationships it is no different.
@@aresney6449 CONGRATULATIONS......continue to Honor God by honoring your body which is His temple! Be cautious....my niece, also a virgin, met her husband and weeks into their engagement, they were intimate and she was 3 weeks pregnant on her wedding date! They couldn't wait.....BUT you must keep one another accountable and WAIT until your wedding day!! 🙏🏽
@@gloriajjackson5035 Wow thank you for your encouragement and sharing that powerful lesson from your knowledge and family experience! I wasn't thinking about the fact that temptations grow stronger when you're engaged. Now I understand that the engagement stage is not safe to let your guard down and allow yourself divulge into deeper emotions and that I must keep my same determination until my wedding night! Thank you very much for that much needed reminder. May our Heavenly Father further bless you and yours 🙏 ♥️
@@aresney6449 You are most welcome! May your wedding night be all that you hope it to be! Stay blessed! 🙏🏽 💜
Unpopular Opinion: I still believe a real man of integrity will pay for the date. Not because it's expected, but because it's in his character 🤷 And this is coming from a female who will gladly pay her half
How is that an unpopular opinion if Tony said that in the video?
@@IvyElizabeth918 unpopular, because like he also said the societal norm today is 50/50. Not because he said it, but because of what is actually being done today
Lol, if a man wants to go half on a date, then the next date he should expect my hair to still be in rollers, or me wearing sweatpants or wearing no makeup. The whole point of the date is to put your best foot forward, especially when it comes to the man who is PURSUING the woman. If he cant afford to pay for the dates, then he shouldn't be dating. Also, if he asks you to split the bill, most likely hes taking other women on dates as well. Dating multiple wkmen can get expensive for men.
Yes, why should I support a man trying to multi-date . If he wants to date multiple people and is saving for a house or business well women do too. He is contradicting himself a little from his close your legs video. I understand his perspective because some men feel entitled regardless of paying. The mere fact that women have to worry about this is because some men might try to pay to play as he stated in another video.
If you split the date you will be splitting all the bills!!!
Tony no way I’m paying for a date for a man interested in me.. bad advice. I’d feel horrible afterwards whipping out my card - no way
If he asks you to split the bill on the first date there won’t be no second date. Period.
@Tony Gaskins I don't understand why a woman is supposed to cater to the wrong mindset some men have, thinking they earned access to her body just because they payed for her meal. By paying for herself in order to "show him that he doesn't own me" she's agreeing with the wrong mindset that he in fact WOULD own her if he payed her meal. Why not weeding out guys with this wrong mindset from the beginning, by letting him pay and see if he reacts angry and entitled if she don't "put out" afterwards?
Truth intention speaks volume that you do not sit well with my moral and values...
If the budget is not adequate he must bow out...a prostitute and escort sells herself and gets her money upfront...a woman being courted over a meal and expecting her meal paid for isnt selling herself.. The man paying for the date is paying for the setting/ environment/ Public attraction in which he is
Being given the opportunity to discover this woman he is interested in. The woman is being courted and giving of her time to discover this man...paying for the meal is a sign of responsibility and accountability for this man showing he is fiscally sound....women are receivers...
I agree. Steve Harvey said that a man is suppose to pay on the first date. He said a man is suppose to court you. If a man can't afford to buy you a plate of food, then he shouldn't be dating until he gets his finances and himself together.
Yes I agree with you we recieve
@@taynaburton5828 First date is key, the man should 100% pay for first dates. After the first couple dates, and its going well & if this is a young couple they just need to communicate and compromise and find more affordable/ creative options ( restaurants can add up). When your young in your career where do people think this money is coming from (we do want those with legal jobs right, lol)
Yeah we as women know that... But men these days don't think like that
I think what Tony is saying for most men when they pay for something they want something in return. For most men their goals is sex period. So when they put effort into dating and spend their money its all focused on one thing. Not all men but most men.
Disagreed with not allowing a man to PAY. Make-up, hair style, fragrances, clothing, shoes, handbags or anything women of worth are for the man to experience from a woman especially if she's pretty such as myself. My expensive items & fragrances are worth the 💰.
He must pay. Plus telling women to go half is a set up. If she pay half he will expect her to pay of every thing from courting to marriage!
I'm not a 50/50 Pickmesha.
Having him pay puts him in the masculine role as he should be.
Lames and dustys don't pay or do 50/50 those wouldn't have the privilege to waste my time or products.
Good video as usual.
Perfectly said. When you know what you have to offer you won't tolerate anything less. Even something as small as paying on dates. I don't want anything less.
I agree with you! It sets the stage up for 50/50. So after six months then somehow it will change to him paying 100%? No, not when he is use to 50/50. He most likely will stay 50/50. Then there you have it...your a 50/50 roommate now. I'm sorry but don't establish paying half because it will be hard to backpedal out of that. How you start the foundation and standard from day one, is how the expectation will be moving forward. We ladies need a protector and provider, not 50/50.
This is so right. Dated a guy and he paid for all the dates. I mean literally swept me off my feet every week for months. 4 months in i started seeing signs of being a player. He had multiple women and he was Doing things illegal. That’s why he had so much money to treat all these women so good. I now see what Tony means when he say if the man don’t smell like Jesus now days RUN 😂😂😂
Was he a pimp?
TiffanyB TV it’s a new day today. We def have to address how things are perceived today. Thanks for sharing your experience.
TiffanyB TV
Sounds like Play Boy Activity(ies). RUN
Exactly...guy paid for my date and was looking for me to go to his home I said no but at first he wanted to come and pick me up no dude I do not know you like that I can drive I will meet you then he was looking for me to drive to his house...player
Ricky T In his head Yes
Ladies PLEASE DO NOT PAY HALF FOR DATES IN THE BEGINNING!!! If he starts off doing half then he’ll continue to do half... and then eventually nothing. As time goes on you can help with dates.. but it’s ok to let a man impress you in the beginning... don’t make their job easier for them. If a plate of food means you’re using him... then that’s the man you don’t want. It’s just food not a mortgage or car note...
I dont know about the Dutch thing. I think if a Man is courting, he should pay. I'm independent not cause I'm proud, I just haven't found my provider Man. I guess the feminist movement did mess things up, cause it seems everyone for themselves. I want that good old fashioned but healthy lol love. I'm miss independent who wants to give these "pants" to Mr I got it lol
!!!!!!!!! honey, im tired of these men today! I dont even wanna date lol
Allow a man to be a man and pay. It messes with a mans ego when you offer to pay on the first date.
I agree with you. I did see his point on how players operate. These days bums, players, faux nice guys all operate the same.
God Bless the child that has there own. You cannot rely or depend on anyone in these last days.
@@dimediamond Yes, we all have to depend on ourselves. I don't believe most black women have experienced being taken care of by men( that has not been our history in this country). We are getting degrees and etc without husband and family support. Most women are not depending date/ meal from a man. Where did the idea that women use men for meal come from?
After a situationship that had me looking stupid! i told God and said 'Lord, Maybe i dont know how to date correctly, show me how to" its like he heard my prayer and directed me to Tony Gaskins.You are God sent.Listening to you has really opened my eyes and helped me to take actions that benefits me spirtually, emotionally and mentally.
OH. MY. GOODNESS🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣singing on the microphone and eating peach cobbler. I'm done🤣🤣🤣🤣.
I screamed!!😂😂
@@EducatedBlackQueen Yeeessssssss, I was hollering. Tony is a character with his analogies, but I'm here for it😂😂.
Whoooo chile🙅🤦Lol lol
@@anointedstilettos Yes girl!!!!😂
I literally laughed out loud!! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Be Intentional!✅
Build a Friendship!✅✅
No Sex. Period!✅✅✅
And Be Blessed‼️💯
I am 42 years young and I'll never eat peach cobbler the same, I had no idea what you were saying until the very end. I had no clue. Good God!🤦🏽♀️
Don't feel bad you weren't the only one. It finally clicked at the end. LOLLLL!!!
@@rayebaldwin9086 Goodness Gracious!😂😂😂
Be blessed
Be intentional
Build friendship
No sex (including no microphone, peach cobbler, or back seat plug ins)
Cassandra Ross lolololol @ backseat plug ins!! Lol
😂😂😂😂
😂😂 Amen
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I agree with being an independent and not being bought however, when I'm asked out I will not pay for the meal, I will choose an inexpensive option and I'll do the tip, generously. ❤
Now that’s the way to do it. That’s fair.
Same here
I’ll do a follow up tomorrow. :)
Keisha Poullard I agree with you completely if you offer to pay in the beginning a man will always look for you to pay for then on.
@@mytomp Yes, some of them will. Some of them will see it the way Tony describes in the video, those men won't keep expecting it, they'll just appreciate what you bring to the table and be encouraged to be a great man to a mature women.
I disagree with the paying for dates for 6 whole months. Our worth is not in the amount of money we have or don't have, so I don't feel it's likened to prostitution if a man pays for me, I don't feel weak or bought. I understand some men these days might SEE it that way, And if he feels that was a transaction, hes in for a surprise and that's not the man for me anyway. If an adult man asks me out, I expect him to pay. If we're dating and I "take you out" I expect to pay.not saying I've done it though lol. Even with my girl friends, if I invite them to lunch, i pay!! I believe there are other ways to show we are independent and there are other ways to find out if a man is a player other than him paying for the date. If we are friends with no intention of anything more, THEN that's different and I will ALWAYS intend to pay my way. But if we both agreed the intent is there to build to another level, find something creative or low cost because I am not paying if you are supposed to be courting me....there's too many situations women end up in later on where a man doesn't want to pay and everything is 50\50 even in marriage. Don't even buy groceries.
THANK YOU! I don't even understand why a woman is supposed to adapt to the wrong mindset some men have, thinking they earned access to her body just because they payed for her meal. By paying for herself in order to "show him that he doesn't own me" she's confirming the wrong mindset that he WOULD own her if he payed her meal. Why not weed out guys with this wrong mindset from the beginning, by letting him pay and see if he reacts angry and entitled if we don't "put out" afterwards?
@@SermonsSubtitled right. I dont even feel right offering cause I know I shouldnt be paying if you are courting me. Also, what if a woman actually does NOT have the money even if shes independent. She shouldnt have to question if she can afford to go on a date that was offered to HER. I understand in this day and age a lot of women AND men think differently about finances in relationships. But I guess I am more traditional in some sense and proggressive in others. I want a man who believes the same. Who understands courtship but also understands respect. Im independent but I still want a man with the provider mindset. Its not about the money, its the mindset. I'm saying theres grown men in homes with women that refuse refuse!! To pay bills, to work, buy food. Put gas in her car..And guess what, It happens to the independent women mostly. I habe nothing to prove, you can pay for my dinner
YES!!!!
Linda B Exactly!!! Any man that’s has an attitude about or expect sex for paying for meal I weed them out. And I’m interested in marriage so if you can’t pay for meal how can you provide for a wife and family.
As Tony was saying before he married his wife he was a player so he paid for the entire date and then some when he was with a woman. Just because he pays for a date or dates doesn't mean he is a good man. If he expects you to pay then that's when you want to run. In the 21st century a woman has to change her mindset when dating these days because the men you are dating their mindset is different.
I get way too excited when that notification shows a new video upload!!! About to download to my offline playlist and listen while driving!
Vivika Green amazing!! Thank you for listening and for being a member! #BlessedFam
1) Be intentional
2) Build a friendship
3) Stay off your back
Be blessed, I'm tired of dating wrong, it starts off right then it goes wrong and I'm left looking stupid.
Ditto. Come 2020 no more.
“Singing on the microphone & eating peach cobbler” 😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭
And said it with a straight face lol
I really needed to hear this today. Dating isn’t something I’ve been accustomed to doing. I just meet a guy, decide if we like each other or not. If we do the relationship starts. That’s all wrong because my track record in picking the wrong men is terrible. I’ve been single for almost 4 years. Before watching this video, I had my mind made up to date with intention and purpose. Get to know the man and build on a friendship first. I’m sick and tired of dating wrong and want to find the man God has for me. Thank you very much for sharing your wisdom, great advice and I appreciate you. Be Blessed! 😊
Be intentional, Build a friendship, NO Sex!!!
This video came right on time! I have a date coming up and I plan on being intentional throughout my dating journey. I feel more at ease with the notes taken from here 💕 Be blessed.
I,ve learned so much these past few weeks listening to all the daily teachings.. Thank you and be Blessed 🙏
C Thomas thank you! Bless you!
I had given up on dating because it was so hard and so disappointing. Now that you have posted this session I have the knowledge I need to date the correct way. If the opportunity presents itself. Thank you Tony!
Tony I never looked at it this way . I was always taught a man duty is to pay for a date. I have even offered to pay for dinner on a date and a man took it as an insult. Dating was really hard for me because I enter in a marriage early without experiencing dating. When I divorced and tried to date I was expecting what my husband had showed me. I also had the Friends first before a relationship but now I see what your saying. Another great message as usual. Be Blessed
H Cohane offering to pay for the entire date is insulting. Offering to pay your half isn’t an insult to a real man. He will thank you, but politely decline and pay the whole bill himself.
My God this man is giving us knowledge to change the world!!!! Thank you Mr.Gaskins. Be blessed!
channapooh thank you for giving it a listen! I’m trying my hardest.
Tony Gaskins You are impacting my life, GREATLY, in positive way. Thanks
In a business context, if you'd ask some important person to meet up with you, because YOU WANT something from them, (help,advice, mentoring, pitching your business-idea to them, etc.) it goes without saying that YOU should pay for their meal, in return you are getting their time and undivided attention to hear out what you have to offer them. This person is not "like a prostitute" and you don't own them just because you pay for their meal. Why should it be any different with women? If the man wants something from a woman, getting to know her, courting her and demonstrating how good of a provider he would be, he must be willing to invest in her. If she's not worthy enough to be invested in, time-wise or financially, he's just not that into her and wants to hold back in order to go all out and fully invest in the women he really wants!
Linda B THIS!!! Best comment 🙌🏾. My thoughts, exactly
If he asked you out should you not expect him to pay? If he can't afford to take you out on a date is he even ready to date?
And honestly, based on what I see around me, most women get played by average men with whom they go 50/50, and broke men.
Edit:
It would be interesting to hear Tony elaborate further on this 50/50 dating situation. Is offering to pay a way to test the man? Because as much as Tony says a woman not offering to pay creates a certain mindset in a man; a woman being expected to pay also creates a certain mindset in her. Being expected to pay half would make me question the man's drive and his ability to provide for our family should we decide to take things further.
Also, a man who thinks he owns a woman by paying for dates would come off as a grown boy; not a grown man. I don't think we'd even last 6 hours, let alone 6 months, in that case.
Based on previous videos, it also seems as though the woman is expected to be at her best - independent, look good, in shape, smart, boss, feminine, money right, pleasant demeanour, etc, etc. (something with which I'm perfectly fine because I do want to be at my best) but I don't understand why she would then be in a position to entertain a man who may not have himself together enough to pay for a date which he initiated. That sounds imbalanced, to me.
Well said. That is definitely the narrative. Woman have to be near perfect but who are making videos aimed at men stepping up being men. Most married women I know are married to grown boys...they are the cream of the crop and they settled for men who want to do 50/50. At this point I’m about being my best for ME and my purpose and if God chooses to present a man to me ..wonderful. But I’m sick of all the videos on what women need to do. I know awesome single women who can’t find quality partners because men get a pass in everything.
Tony been married over a decade so he may be a little out of touch of what it’s really like out here trying to date today’s men. He still my favorite ❤ 🙏🏾
I give you one million likes...love every bit of your teaching...God bless you.
These young women think singing on the microphone is the life.
He's gonna save his money so he can go on more dates!
This message was 🔥🔥🔥. I appreciate these daily uploads. I have always dated wrong when I knew all thses things. Now, I'm getting the knowledge and focusing on my 3 B's because I'm not interested in a relationship right now.
Anointed Stilettos thank you for being open to at least consider the perspective. #BlessedFam
@@TonyGaskins I have to, especially when I see that previous relationships didn't work when I was dating wrong. Clearly what I was doing was out of order.
Preach!!!!.... Am a nurse & u so RIGHT... singing on the Mick lol is BAD)) .. SO much diseases out here & your body is a temple of Christ....(( BE BLESS tony🙏
“It’s YOUR fault!” Tony coming for me today 😂😂 But I receive the word🙌🏾😂
Patrick keep pressing!
I’m so excited the longer videos are BACK!!!! 💞🥰👂🏽👂🏽👂🏽🙌🏽
People are so complicated I'd rather be single for life.
Velinda Lateece do you really mean that? Sis, our words create our world.
@@ebone1974 I am currently in a 7 year relationship that I am in the process of leaving. I am speaking from a place of hurt, so I shouldn't comment on this topic.
@Velinda Lateece I’m sorry to hear this and know how it hurts. I divorced in April after 8 years of marriage. I still believe in love and know that since God is love and my desire is to please him and live for him, my desire for love will never dissipate. I declare I will be found by a man of God and will marry again. You will get through this! I appreciate your response and will definitely say a prayer for your heart not the be hardened and for you hurt to heal. Be encouraged!
Velinda Lateece i pray for your strength and courage to leave and wash your hands. Don’t regret, don’t turn back... And forgive yourself and start your journey to healing one day at time. Great pain means a great reward. Love is beautiful it will find you when your heart is ready. Love and light to you 💫
Stop doing permanent things with temporary people.
A WORD!
I listened until the end found new insight on dating and HOW with biblical and logical standpoints. It made SO MUCH SENSE! Thank you for your wisdom and be Blessed!
This is probably my most favorite video message from Tony Gaskins, and I've watched many.
Again yet another confirmation. Every word you spoke is my mindset. Be blessed. I've been told I'm too old-fashioned and I'll never find anynody. So far they're right.
Be blessed brotha!!! You are one of the realist counselors I have ran into and the funniest 😂 Keep up the good work 🙌🏾🙌🏾
Tee Smith thank you very much for your time and appreciation!
Your welcome
Tony this was hilarious yet dead on! Many of us are in situationships that we created because we started off on the wrong path. Women hate when I say this but a lot of us are in terrible situationships because we didn’t love ourselves enough to set boundaries.
AMEN!!! Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. I'm 61 and not to old to learn. Just to let you know I take notes. Be blessed.
My issue is I keep running across guys who just want to waste my time or just date they claim you are friends in an attempt to have sex with you and when I reject they disappear 🙄 I just want sensible provider protector men the opposite is in great abundance regardless of their age unfortunately
Agreed! Men don't know how to date the right way. All they want is sex. How long do you think it would take to find a man who'll stick around for six months of friendship? During this foundation building (I support this concept) do you just ignore signs that he's fooling around with other women?
@@joanneking2081 It appears you just have to pretend you dont know they are talking to others or just dont mention it but personally unless we both agreed that we are committed to each other and mutually exclusive I wont hold my breathe for that or sweat wondering if they are that's too much stress that I dont have the energy for as long as I am being loved, cherished, treasured and being taken care of I am good. And even if he does say you are mutually exclusive he might still be doing whatever anyways.
@@Introvertsan I don't
think I'm incapable of ignoring that shit if we're committed. Hetting to know through friend building, maybe. Wonder what Tony would say.
@@Yna-u3g I agree my problem is they are the ones that keep popping up for some reason which has me irked
Thank you, Tony. You have no idea how bang on you are to an on again/off again pair I know. I told this to him years ago but now they're off again and he's almost lost it all, I am going to share this and hope it helps. Thanks again for your straight up words of wisdom.
Honestly I don’t go on a date unless I have the money to pay for the full bill. I’ve heard stories of men actually going to the bathroom and leaving women stuck with the bill.
I'm "Open to dating with intentions on a relationship while still building a friendship" .
Thank you for this video timing is everything.
Be blessed! You have me dying when you imitate the women..🤣🤣🤣
Thank God for Tony! This man is blessed with a purpose. You speak life and I appreciate you.
Sooo good. Im laughing like crazy at singing on the microphone. Dude you are hilarious and real. lol
“I want a Man but don’t need a Man”. Yes!!! This new knowledge is preparing me for when I’m ready to date...the RIGHT way!!🙌🏾#BeBlessed😇
Noooo, not Spinninanight?!😂Classic!
This is a life changing perspective for me. I'm a PK (pastors kid) and never had this explained to the point I can grab and understand. This is honestly freeing me from past hurt, and accepting Loving myself and knowing my worth. Thanks I can't stop the tears of repentance. Your awesome I want to thank you for your wisdom. Stay blessed
Be blessed Tony! Facts! No additional comments needed... drops the mic 🎤
It's good to do things differently especially if the same way of doing things is not working...Tony Gaskins comes with a difference...God bless you Tony!
I look forward to your videos daily they are really helping me in dating and every day life
You are IT!!!! I now take my lunch break at work to coincide with your videos, God Bless you Mr Gaskins cause you are the TRUTH on relationships!!!! And I believe it’s best to offer to pay 1/2 cause times are not easy on anyone’s pocket, PLUS, I don’t wanna owe him dessert!!!!! Great material, AGAIN
Expect an invitation to my wedding, Tony.
I did everything wrong. I got bad advice and followed bad examples. Now, I know better.
Thank you so much!!
I snickered when you said “Broke minded”😭😭😭OOP! Don’t step on my toes Tony🤣🤣 I can find diff and fun dates for us to do inexpensively, but if you invite me on a date...ya paying! Period 🤣 I don’t mind tipping though.
Shamir Johnson lol, here y’all go.
@@TonyGaskins I did this with my x I see after a yr or so o was dead wrong. I used to let him pay all the time he was not working consistently temp jobs and I was making more. I always expected him to pay but On odd times I would bring him lunch or give him rides as if I was his wife when we had moved too fast. Sex within the 4th mth or so it took me 4 years to see by that time I was already in the friends zone because I did realize I also had slipped in to friends with benefits. Very long story 6 yr situationship that is now fizzling out that he found someone that seems to played her cards well. I took him to get a job stood there while he saved and paid for a truck and bought property that I was not invited to he a party of but was on his accounts to see him take ladies on dates and treat then well. While I stayed in the background as a hold me down friend but I see I did go in wrong he was not a bad guy we stared out very wrong and I allowed it because I did not know how to date and what I wanted Thank you so much. It took my 4 yrs in to put the mirror up to myself and my sister who is married bring a lot to light to me she said that I felt entitled to him when he was not in a position to do most things I wanted and it pushed him away turned him off from me.
Be intentional
Build a friendship within a relationship
No sex
It took me into a 6yr situation to find out I did a lot wrong and take accountability for my pain I’m in now. This video is a yr old and I am just now seeing this Thank You TG
Tony Gaskins, you are so funny am laughing my head off how you said we singing on mic phone, eating peach cobbler, hot dogging lol 😂 but what you teach ain't nothing but the truth. We are dating wrong. And that is exactly what I've been doing .am learning from tuning in on u tube I look forward to hearing what you have to say every evening.
Yes God! I'm so thankful I came across your videos a week ago. Your videos are defiantly teaching me on dating. Thank you Tony Gaskins for allowing me to see my worth.
I’m in a meeting & I see this 😳👀👏🏾 OMG. I nearly want to walk out 😂 Ima save this for the drive home. Oooooooo I CANT WAIT ‼️
Tu Bella lol! Bless you! Brace yourself!
It’s was a great video. Where’s Cher H ?
Glamrocs Makeup right!! idk but I’m sure she’ll see it.
Microphone and peach cobbler took me OUT 🤣 Thanks for the insight Tony! I do believe a man that’s truly courting should pay for the meal, as it should be one of the ways he is showing a woman that he is capable of taking care of her in the progression to marriage. But no one is required to provide or give anything out of obligation.
So if you’re supposed to pay half the first 6 months... what happens after the 6 months? Wouldn’t that condition both parties to always pay half... I’m a little confused. May someone explain.
No I definitely don’t encourage paying half... especially in the beginning... it teaches them to be half a** if you go into like that.
ebonie shenecé listen again; I said offer to pay. If he lets you pay, then pay your half. A man covering a woman is a marriage benefit, so even if it doesn’t happen in dating, it’s not the end of the world. It’s just setting you up to be more equal on the relationship.
Tony Gaskins thank you. I understand now.
ebonie shenecé I feel like it’s an initiation and eventually the man should see this woman is not just using me I feel comfortable providing for her since I know she’s not only using me. So I think it should not be an ongoing thing forever..
Nwright TV you get it!
Thanks for always telling us the truth. Be blessed and stay blessed Tony Gaskins.
Tony I have a problem when you say it's ok to go dutch on the first date. Especially if it was him who asked me out and I took my time to be there and get there. Isn't it fare for him to compensate and cover the bill for both if he initiated the date. I agree with everything you say though, except for this part.
Thanks Mr.Gaskins been listening and sharing your videos to my friends we are so grateful for all you do! Your videos has helped me tremendously 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Praise God ❤️
No Dutch offering! Toni this is sad. Let the man pay and when you're walking off add to the tip. Don't say NOTHING! Just drop tips here and there but say nothing. In fact the vibe a guys gives when he pays for something says everything about him. What he expects shows you who he is and you can move on. No feminine self respecting woman would be talking nickle and dime with a man.
Thanks for keeping it real. I’m on round two of your teachings because I broke away a few years ago! Back to basics. God bless you for consistency!
No I completely disagree with going Dutch. If he can’t pay for a date then he won’t pay when you have kids with him.
Preach Tony! Nothing but Facts! I appreciate your videos so much!
Be blessed !!! Glad I now have the knowledge to start dating the right way .
Never heard or seen anything so real. Amen to this! You're appreciated!
I'm newly dating after getting a divorce. A guy tried to push my head down to rock the mic. I told him that's a husband privilege. He kept pressing me and I went home. He called later to apologize and to tell me he respected that. I dunno what has happened to men in the past 20 yrs but I'm already over dating and just focusing on being happy alone. I guess I'm too old fashioned. But I refuse to be treated like anything besides royalty.
He was totally out of line for even touching you in the first place to make you do that. That is sickening. Smh! First and last time would have been the case here.
Exactly.......and that was my first experience after 20 yrs. Younger guy, acted completely different once he felt we were alone. I guess that's what women do now off the bat. I'm just gonna opt out if this is really how men treat respectable women now.
These guys are straight horn dogs. It’s actually scary. It’s rare to find men with self control that actually want to court you but keep the faith 💜
@@sheloves3663 It is scary and they are willing to just screw anything with a vaginal cavity. Like to get to know a person and stop being so quick to take a plunge into someone. Smh!
Good for you
2nd time watching. No desire to date right now strictly focusing on God, Motherhood, and my 3 B’s point blank PERI-OD! You’re changing lives Tony🙏🏾 be blessed 🙌🏾
From watching this video I realize ........ you can’t listen to everyone. Take the good spot out the bad .....
true
I like this.
you give such a wealth of knowledge i dont understand why the women who listen to you are arguing you make so much sense
thank you Tony😭💝💝💝 you are helping us so much!💓🙏
Thank you for standing up for women. Don’t stop bringing Your messages
I remember my grandparents dishing out this exact advice....because it works 😊.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU. Sometimes the truth hurts but, somebody got to keep it real
“you got dogs together and cats together and you not married. that is the problem.” 😂
I have been trying to get a session with you. If I don't know that I have learned so much from your youtubes and books in the past 2-3 weeks, and will continue to receive and apply the information. I left a relationship last Saturday. I got strength; I am healing and working on me. Intuition told me this a long while ago. Thank you God for now. You provided the language, knowledge and tools... "When the student is ready the teacher will appear." Continue to share the knowledge; I am receiving it and grateful to Father God! PS I event purchased your dad's book.
I’m doing homework while hearing this video and I had to stop and comment because he said “ladies, stop patting yourself on the back” 🤣🤣🤣 in reference to singing on the 🎤 😭😭😭 Stick a fork in me, I’m done. But honestly, you’re correct in every aspect! I can appreciate you being genuine because we are grown ups and how you’re speaking it is how the world will present it. So 🤷🏽♀️