Why We Are Only Having One Child
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- Опубліковано 7 чер 2024
- Why we are only having one child.
We decided after we got pregnant with our first that we would be a one and done family, these are our reasons. And no, she won't lonely just because she is an only child.
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Thank you to every single one of you. You all mean more to me than I could ever describe.
Sending you all the love in the world,
Alexi
Land Acknowledgement: I acknowledge that I occupy the lands of the chalá·at (Hoh), kʷoʔlí·yot’ (Quileute), qʷidiččaʔa·tx̌ (Makah), nəxʷsƛ̕áy̕əm̕ (Klallam), & t͡ʃə́mqəm (Chimacum) peoples.
I express my deepest respect and gratitude for our indigenous neighbors and leaders for their enduring care and protection of our shared lands and waterways.
So good to hear someone being unapologetic about having one child! I love having one kid. I mean, I still feel overwhelmed on an almost daily basis, lol, but especially when it's both of us parenting together, it feels so manageable and our life is so full and so fun
I relate a lot. I have a two year old little girl. My sister and I are not close, she’s 6 years older. She has a severe mental illness and my mom is her guardian. Growing up my sister had more needs than me. I felt like the little “big” sister a lot of times. My mom was amazing but she had so much on her plate that I didn’t get everything I needed emotionally. I am super close with my mom though. I just never want my daughter to feel that way. My mental health was awful from the lack of sleep for the first 8-9 months. It took 15 months to start feeling better. I have been thriving ever since. I can never go back to that dark place again…it was very scary. I have gone back and forth but if I am being honest, I know my marriage, daughter, and self would be happier and healthier staying just as we are. I love being able to give my daughter all my attention.
Nothing wrong at all with only one and people need to stick to their business lol. My sister is pregnant with their only one (she's too busy of a career woman and doesn't want to put her body through more than one pregnancy). My husband was an only child and turned out amazing. I was also a middle child of five in a mixed family and I was very lonely, too. I get you there so completely. I think putting all of your attention and resources into one child is a good thing.
Totally agree! I totally get where your sister is coming from, too! Pregnancy is so hard!
Thank you for being open about this. I have a few personal points: I grew up with married parents and three full siblings, all under the same roof in a traditional household. Despite this, I am not close to any of them and felt very lonely as a child. Resources were stretched extremely thin due to all the children, and my mother was shamed for having so many.
My husband and I have been married for 20 years and have happily chosen not to have children. Although I love kids, I just don't want any. Approaching 40, I am extremely happy with my life, feel fulfilled, and love living on the Olympic Peninsula. Yet, people still give me a hard time about not having children.
Knowing all of this, I have had coworkers in the past who went from pressuring me to have a child to arguing amongst themselves about why I need to have more than one. They then argued about how the child (that doesn't and will never exist) will suffer because this imaginary version of myself that they have created isn't having more children.
Especially when it comes to the subject of parenthood, people can be crazy and love to tell others how they're doing it wrong.
I wish people would put all of that judgmental energy into just being kind, decent people.
That last sentence is gold!!
I never realized how good me and my brother have it the fact that our brotherly bond is still in tact im about to be 23 he is 25 like we have always been close no matter what mainly cause i never wanted to lose that bond i mean my brother has literally held me while i cried that i tried to end it and he’s been my rock through depression and anxiety but i understand not all siblings are the same
I’m so glad that you have that bond! That’s awesome!
My mom is 1 of 9 kids and she isn’t close to any of them, she feels like the black sheep of the family. I’m an only child and I did have some lonely times (early teens) but my parents were always involved and spent time with me when they could. I did wish I had siblings at times, but for the most part I do appreciate it bc it made me who I am. I love my time alone and love to be creative.
I love to hear that! ❤️
I say I’m one and done for at least 5 years. I might change my mind later and that’s okay!
Yes! That’s totally okay!
A sibling is the greatest gift you can give to your child.
So is a healthy and happy mother ❤️
I also entirely disagree. If you listened to the video you know how I understand both worlds. My siblings destroyed my confidence and sense of self. They’re the worst relationships I have. They’re definitely not always a gift
@amysill3815,
I am the youngest of 5 children. I am NOT close with any of my siblings. They have all screwed me over. Giving your child a sibling is not always the greatest gift you can give your child. The greatest gifts you can give your child are a quality life and relationship with both parents. Also a healthy life and healthy relationships. Have you ever heard the story of Cain and Able ?
Not when your mother treats you all differently….
Bless you❤I felt this on a personal level. I also come from a broken family background, and it’s amazing how all it takes is one decision from you to be the cycle breaker and try to create a better situation for your own.
So true!
Love your well thought out response to this question 🌸 it’s crazy to say but I’m so excited for olive having a mom like you in her life. I always appreciated the thoughtful comments you share about life and now motherhood- the insight is really giving me a more well rounded perspective
That’s such a nice thing to say. Thank you ❤️
I’m 35 I’ll never have a child because I hate the idea of having to think about anyone else besides my self I’m more important then some child
At least you know what’s important to you
@@alexirossi yeah it all depends on the person
💝
I love this topic Alexi. I hate how the two camps are so extreme. I'm a mom of 3 as I've said, but I always get asked the question if I'm going to try for a boy because I have three girls?? I don't know why anyone assumes that if you only have girls the only logical thing to do would of course to be to try for a boy. I don't even see myself being a boy mum at all. Yes, having siblings does not guarantee they will have a good relationship at all. I've always been the black sheep personally, so I can attest to this as well. And my pregnancies were all horrible as well to the point where I'd say I prefer labor over pregnancy. Great video girl! Do youuu ❤❤❤
I think having three girls sounds perfect!! It's the patriarchy holding on by a thread that makes people think we still all need to have boys. If I didn't have to be pregnant again/or have a newborn again lol I would LOVE another girl.
So true! And even my husband is happy to be a girl dad!! I actually wanted girls each time lol! @alexirossi
Had a girl first. That was what I wanted and only wanted one child. I wound up having a boy 5 years later. Boys are the BEST! Mom’s and their sons. Don’t knock it till you try it. I am so glad I had him. I don’t think patriarchy has anything to do with wanting a boy. My opinion.
@hockeyfan1934 I would have been thankful regardless of the gender, but God gives us all different lots and I'm thankful for mine as you are for yours and as Alexi is for hers. ❤️ I don't think either of us intended to knock having a boy, but more so of the perspective that everyone is different and that's okay.
That’s why I said it’s my opinion. I agree, to each her own. You do you. Nothing but happiness to all!
BLESS THIS VIDEO!!!! we needed this. Exactly why we have ONE. I LOVE it! I was an only child, my husband has 2 sisters. I’ve seen both. This is what we want. Weird how it blows people’s minds.
It’s so weird that people are so opinionated about it!
I told my wife, we're one and done. She started to cry, but I explained why. And she is getting on board now, as she's having a hell of a time with pregnancy. We cannot, in this day and age, financially support more than one child. I earn well into six figures, but there is no possible way I can deal with the stress, giving my life away, and even think about having to fork out crazy money for college, and then juggle retirement. My mental health cannot handle it either. I had horrible prenatal depression. Feeling my life was over. Feeling my life was doomed. Listening to other dads say they only got 2 hours of sleep. My career would tank. I would hate myself for that. Also, financial worry - i would say I do want my child to "worry" or understand money doesn't grow on trees from a very early age. I came from nothing and have made something. I don't want my kid to think we're some bank they can just squeeze or ask for a handout. They absolutely won't get everything they want, but will always have everything they need. And when they're older, I plan on showing them the value of hard work and guide them to getting a job, earning money, budget, etc.
This is all true. But you haven’t even gotten to the best part yet. You have a wonderful adventure ahead of you, enjoy it 🤍
@@alexirossi thank you! And thank you so much for posting this video! It's a topic that is almost too taboo or blasphemous for some reason lol. Society doesn't like DINK, or single child families much... It's healing to hear the single child loneliness claim be debunked too.
you have some great points but to just tell your wife out of the blue that you guys are one and done when she is pregnant seems very insensitive and self-centered. Didn't you talk about # kids before getting married?? ofc you are allowed to change your mind but then you have an open conversation not just tell your partner how it will be 🙄