Jordan Peterson: Men who marry witchy women
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- Опубліковано 15 чер 2018
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This video comes from Peterson's: 2017 Maps of Meaning 12: Final: The Divinity of the Individual
• 2017 Maps of Meaning 1...
This reminds me of something that happened to me a few years back. I was with my girlfriend, her brother, and his wife. An attractive girl passed us and my girlfriend commented about how attractive she was. My girlfriend's brother made a brief "yeah" of agreement (not in a sleazy tone, nor even implying that he had really noticed her that much, just a simple agreement). His wife then scoffed and said to him: "well there's no way you could get her". At this point, I said to his wife "so you're saying that she's better than you?" His wife just replied with "huh?" So I explained "well, you said there's no way he could get her, but he got you, so if he's not good enough to get her but he is good enough to get you, that implies that she is better than you."
My girlfriend quickly cut in to change the subject, but the point still stands. When you insult your partner, it also drags you down as well.
I'm surprised the wife didn't yell at you to mind your business lol.
@@mac1bc I think she was just stunned at the profundity of my observation. Plus if she had, it would have just been all the more obvious how wrong she knew she was.
A double edged sword
James Edward very powerful observation
Who cares what women think anyways?
Never ever embarrass your partner in public.
Cynthia Marquez Why do you always have to wake me up by farting on my face saying "wake up and smell the coffee!", Cynthia?
Specially when they're not present. respect is even more important when your partner is not there !
Cynthia: "it's a QUEEF NOT A FART!"
Lol hey guys... 😏 Did U see Cynthias playlists?? "Stripper songs"...
Tell that to my buddy's wife.
My grandparents were married for almost 70 years until my grandma died. Till the last day, my grandmother was absolutely obsessed about my grandfather ( so was my grandfather about her, but he was an introverted person) which resulted in them having a loving home and all their kids being supportive and loving to each other till now. My grandma always said "A lion hunts out in the jungle, not in its own den", implying that do not bring your aggression to the place you call home, the world outside is already tough.
She is right, I'm glad I reached the point of maturity to understand that.
I preach this to my kids...and also the importance of getting along because everyone goes their own way and this time is precious...even tho annoying lol
Priceless❤….this hit me hard! Because this is the foundation of a loving family and community.
The best way
Sadly , I absolutely can't fanthom this level of love. For my parents , brother and son off course, but I've never seen it between my parents/grandparents and certainly never experienced it myself. Truely remarkable.
I met a man who I started driving to bible study, with his children on his visitation weekend. On our first drive he started ranting against his ex-wife calling her horrible names and language in front of his two girls, 10 and 5.
I got him alone after we arrived and told him to never speak of his children's mother like that in front of them. And he should not speak like that at all. That was his childrens mom, whom they love, and he is causing great stress to them hearing this. As well as his actions and behavior is the role model for the future husband these girls will psychologically choose for in a husband. If he wants them to marry an verbally abusive man, keep it up.
He shut up!!!!!
Good for you for being honest!
God I wish most women in their youth possessed at least this level of rationality. You are awesome🎉
@@imanilovely176 perhaps where you're from but in my country we're getting our act together as men. Its a culture that recently popped up where we take care of our own narcissists and psychopaths if they ever think they can do whatever they want and get away with it. For the women you know how they are. You can't say anything negative about them and if you do they'll just publicly shame you, "You're just jealous you can't get a woman at my level, " "You're just broke and have nothing better to do with you're life, " "no you're just a misogynist and you're bitter about women because you got rejected, " I remember talking to some of my female friends about young girls on Instagram and sadism, narcissism and psychopathic behavior. They literally just insulted me for saying something negative about women even after citing statistical evidence and some biological facts. They just wouldn't pay attention to anything I'm saying
it's really appalling. And social media has enable such narcissistic mindsets, far much more in women than in men and it's alarming. So guys stopped caring about women issues, which I think isn't the appropriate way to go, and started focusing on the young men. The system pays more attention to young girls. There has never been talks or responsible masculinity empowerment campaigns organized by the government as far as my parents experience in the education system is concerned. Even I when I went through the system not once have I heard about such a thing. Even in universities its all about providing opportunities for women. Nothing for the guys at all.
And so my generation and the previous generation realized this and people began coming together using platforms like Twitter and UA-cam to promote masculine values passed down to them by their fathers and local communities to young men who struggle with finding meaning or purpose for their lives. So that's nice too. Plus we had a civil war in 2007 where politicians used unemployed and uneducated young men as their soldiers. So mothers were fed up of losing their sons in meaningless fights and the men are tired of being used as political pawns. So we have come a long way
You sound so very pleased with yourself, getting the opportunity to put a man in his place.
I can't tell you how many times we have seen this among our peers. My husband & I say..."well, you married the person and procreated with them. Must be something you liked about them." If this man's ex was really that horrible, his kids will figure it out all on their own as they grow up - you don't need to hurry it along. My SIL's boyfriend used to make his kids call their biological mother "scumbag Lisa" when they were at his house. I HATED that. Guess what? HE doesn't have a relationship with those kids anymore. He also isn't with my SIL and left behind 3 kids with her. Very troubled people we live around. My husband & I have a rule - we don't hang out with divorced people. They are some of the worst behaving adults around.
As a woman, I cannot stand it when I see another woman put her man down in front of others its just terrible, and reflects so poorly on her.
Why is the dude with a woman like that
Because it’s such a common thing, my wife and I do it all the time for our own amusement. She’ll out of nowhere say, “He never listens to me, you know. I tell him and he never listens to me.” so I’ll say, “Well if you ever said something worth hearing then I’m all ears. Plus it’s not my fault you snore so much at night.” So she’ll say, “I snore because I’m so nervous because you always hit me in your sleep!” Oh yeah? Well I only hit you because you won’t shut up and you need to learn your place! etc. And on and on we go. The look of sheer terror on people’s faces is absolutely hilarious, because they can’t tell if we’re genuinely angry or just messing around.
On a side note, we never ever ever get really angry and argue so it’s always the latter.
@@nightblade628 LOL marriage is all about being in on the joke together :) Big difference in goofing nicely versus goofing because of repression!
It’s all in the tone and delivery on both sides.
It really makes me cringe so much when people put their own partners down to others. Even without the deeper psychological persepctive it can be decribed simply as trashy behavior.
I married such a wonderful man who taught me how to treat him. My parents were the worst role models. I thank God everyday I have a trusting, respectful and loving relationship.
Janie Moore
So theses relationships can happen then. You must be trustful, respectful and loving. Or he wouldn’t be to you. I like to hear these experiences. Thanks JM.
Basically you confirm how true is that you teach ppl how to treat you.
Thats so lovely to hear Janie.congrats🙂
He clapping cheeks on the side tho
It's either you clap em cheeks or prepare yours to get clapped by the law.
Embarrassing your partner in public also applies to doing "pranks" on them and posting it on the internet for views.
Well those are done with consent on both sides for entertainment and also personal gain.
Those partners usually have monetized channels and both benefit from the views. But the concept is faulty-to make money from undermining your own marriage.
I agree!
Yes.
everything you do has (invisible) ripples coming back on you in a relationship . you should actively think about that/ mark them in your journal/ notebook. it will be worth having them in your mind
This goes for anyone. When you talk bad about someone, you’re not defining them, you’re defining yourself.
i'd say both
That's one of my rules for me "what I say about others is really about me". Also helps me feel better when someone says something nasty about me.
What an excellent quote!! Thank You for sharing that!!💕
but to put labels on a specific gender its why we hate men
I also read that on a bumper sticker
If I were in this class, I’d have no idea what notes to take
Dictaphone! No taking notes unless you could transcribe word for word
Well youd fail buddy
I feel the same way. Everything seems important to me but you can't write down everything.
Audio recorder.
Stephen Hughes that’s because you’re low in the dominance hierarchy
My sainted mother said that making fun of your husband takes away his strength.
Nathan Smutz - I was also thought this by my mother. My parents now 80 still love and respect each other more than any couple I know.
So true.
Yes and i had to step in a few times when my mum spoke down to my strong dad i know its not my issue but i had enough and made it my business (before kermit meme) massive difference in their relationship
redeemer l glad you were able to help them. I face the exact same situation with my parents, but I don’t have much luck when stopping my mom. She gets so blind with anger and starts going on a rampage. Now she talks down on me. But it’s so true, when woman talks down to her husband, he loses confidence as a man.
Nathan Smutz "Making fun of your husband takes away his strength." Good words & true. I would also say the same goes for making fun of your wife- it depletes her sense of self and hence ability to love. I have seen it enacted both ways & each time i think; What are they doing? Do they WANT a failed relationship ? And what could be better than strong successful one?. Thats a prize worth working for.."
My parents married shockingly young, as I was a bun baking in their collective oven. I arrived in 1958. Despite their extreme youth, and some "normal" adolescent acting out, they remained remarkably steadfast to one another, always had each other's back, never failed to be there for each other, and instilled in me a fierce belief in love and loyalty. They were married until my father's death in 2015. My broken hearted mother lived a brief 3 years after his passing, and died in 2018. I am an only child, and I thank God everyday for the strength, courage, tenacity, gumption, and common sense I inherited from both of my marvelous parents.
Lucky you. My parents were 38 and 40 years old when I was born and they were both very childish. My mom somehow accepted that she is now old and that she stopped suffocating me with her need for attention. But my father... Well probably we will be dealing with his shit on his death bed.
Every time someone like you tells a story about this (to me) fairy tale, I know that my parents are only an exception.
I love happy endings :) I am so happy for you...I love hearing about healthy relationships xxxxx
Thank you for sharing that.
Beautiful ❤️
Thanks for sharing! ❤️🥰
I'm grateful I never married a witchy woman, since the amazing wife I married has made my life seem like heaven throughout the last 51 years of our marriage. I knew I didn't deserve her love and attention because, early in the marriage, I was immature and self-centered in the relationship, and I had no concept how to respect and treat a decent lady. I had grown up without a mother or a lady in our home from the age of four. Girls and women seemed to me as a teenager to be like aliens from another planet. But my wife, whom I met when I was 16, revealed to me that natural lovely spirit that so many women possess. This caring, supportive, and one-of-a-kind woman in our marriage is all I've ever wanted or will ever need. When my life comes to an end, which might be any day as my body battles life's illnesses, I will genuinely be able to say that I have been blessed above other men and agree with the creator that it is not good for a man to be alone.
that's so sweet. I think every woman wants a man who speaks this kindly about her
"If you object to it, and you do it, you're complicit" Jordan Peterson in this video just exposed why he's a coward and a hypocrit as he did just this with the 💉💉💉💉
@microfarming8583 oh no really?! 😮😢
Awww… sounds like your wife was able to see your heart right away and she was able to stick around while you took the time needed to grow into it. That’s cool! Congrats on 51 years. 👍🥰👍
Hope I can say the same thing in the future. I hope you’re still kicking and well.
"Never ever embarrass your partner in public." - Specially when they're not present. respect is even more important when your partner is not there !
i want to strangle the witch i married
thank you. anybody can dismantle your relationship but none of them know how to bring you two closer. all the people around us carry a wedge they unknowingly wanna drive between us and our partners, very few people carry an adhesive
Integrity
Mine just does it behind my back
@@MMABeijing maybe shed like that lol
The old saying; your partner, to some extent, is a reflection of you
Well said.
Tell that thousands of women complaining about men on twitter
@@barryallen8307 and none of those women are married, are they? Surprise, surprise...
I was married to an abusive man; physically, emotionally, verbally. I kept my mouth shut about it for too long, and when I finally could not tolerate the abuse one minute longer and I left him, everyone was stunned and shocked. People said things like, "This is the first we heard of it. She is probably exaggerating the abuse." My own family said stuff like this. I have learned now to speak out when someone mistreats me and I don't care if someone else judges me for it. Silence enables abusers.
Agreed. You dont air dirty laundry in public, and you should speak to someone trusted about your issues.
Sometimes you say your issue and people give you that "no, i think thats terrible and why". Other times they give you aperspective that you havent thought or seen and helps you realize your mistake.
This is only possible if you are honest with them, they trust you and you them. Otherwise, it could go up in smoke.
Glad you found courage
Yeah, there is obv a difference between dirty laundry and legitimate threat to one's mental and/or physical wellbeing. Props to you for getting out of that situation, and worry not about misjudgement from others, for God sees everything! Stay safe out there!
I'm guilty of staying silent. What I'm learning is when you do this it gives your partner the idea they're a great partner at all times when it's quite the opposite. 🤔
You don't have to talk about while in a relationship. You can leave .
This is the reason I have tried my utmost (sometimes unsuccessfully, because the temptation is strong) to never talk bad about my ex-girlfriends. Not because they were all angels, but because I feel like I have a duty to not air the dirty laundry even after the relationship has ended. Like, I still have a duty to protect the privacy even of a person who has hurt me, because it is about something more than personal hurt.
But sometimes the hurt is too deep and needs to be expressed. I'm in a situation where my ex did me wrong and even while healing I'm still paying the price. I didn't speak up then but I'm speaking up now.
This is a double edged sword. You shouldn't talk too much about exes with a new partner anyways but only talking positively about them might lead to your partner thinking that you liked them more. Especially if you and your partner have disagreements regularly.
good for you. thats hard to do bit it's also considerate to the friends. they are likely not interested in talking about her anymore. I have two close friends who split and still want to talk about one another (after sooo much discussion already, literally years) and that only puts me in an awkward position.
That's very considerate of you. But I agree with @Snicolemidlifeliving. I was being quiet for years about my ex narcissistic boyfriend after we broke up and I couldn't get over it. After I started talking about it to my closest friends, everything magically started to unfold, and I started to heal. Honestly I don't know what is right or wrong, I guess to each their own.
shaunarochelle, perhaps you could steer the conversation away from their beefing about each other and ask for more positive or happy happenings in their lives. It’s setting up boundaries. If they’re constantly looking back into their lives, then they’re not moving forward. Maybe they need to discuss their problems /stuckness with a counselor or such so that they don’t repeat the same faulty ways of relating in their future relationships - break the cycle and grow
“You’re going to pay a price for speaking up; You’re going to pay a price for NOT speaking up “
Catch 22 🤷🏻♀️
Drastic Evasion the price is different
Yes. You pay those prices each and every day. So in the end, you (should) learn what not to speak up about and what to speak up about. When you nail it... you get success. ;)
Every moment of everyday there's a choice to make, the trick is not to overthink or you'll be stuck in an overwhelming sense of what lies ahead... 🙄
Even the right choices come with consequence.
I agree with that statement, people who complain about their spouses all the time are basically holding up a sign saying "I'm an idiot." If you're unhappy either do something about it or shut up. The constant noise is exhausting.
Yet millions of people do it all the time. It's a cry for help, and the help comes when they hear your exact statement. Drop the subtleties, and bring them back to the planet. When I was a young and stupid bastard, I complained about my spouse. My friend grabbed me by the shoulders and said, "You do know that it's all your fault, right? You chose to suffer."
the alternative, and saying look at me, I'm so happy she's so great almost seems like a facade. because if you're not saying im an idiot you're saying im so smart! Im so smart! in know its a false dichotomy but it seems like everyone is on one extreme
or the other
👏👏👌👌👍👍
The repetition of the behavior shows that they are trapped in a cycle. If it bothers you so, are you going to rip them out of their stupor into reality? Change others or change yourself? Change yourself to make the world better is the answer Jordan Peterson gives. You stand at a place higher than those you denigrate.
Unfortunately, some "bad behaviors" are rewarded by society, so it may take a tribe to do something about it. Complaining is seeking resolution and while it paints a person maybe in his worst light, silence can do more damage than anything.
I used to put a boyfriend down in front of my family when I was very young. I learned it from my mother. It was a defense mechanism before I knew how to set boundaries and choose a good partner. He was disrespecting me and instead of ending the relationship I thought i could shame him into shape. I didn't think about or plan it. It was like a reflex from what I had seen for years. My mother notoriously does this to anyone. I learned very quickly that it wasn't effective, and that if I knew myself better I could set boundaries better.
I empathise. My mum does it and I don't understand why she doesn't leave. I learned too, my mums way isn't the way.
💯
@nothing back there is no point in fighting with someone who already believes that they are wiser and smarter then you from the start like most perants with a mind set like that plus people who ate set I'm there ways are not about to change for a single person not even a child they will manipulate the child back to the way the parent originally had them
@nothing back I do agree but as humans we have to chose are fights wisely taking a fight you are going to lose is suicide and waste energy which is where I'm coming from
@nothing back : the most intense person on yt ever
My husband and I were at a state fair, and I can’t tell you how many instances I saw of women verbally bashing their husbands or boyfriends whatever in public, and I was embarrassed for them. Don’t publicly humiliate your spouse!
#BlameAWoman. I can't tell you how many husbands are drunkards, drug abusers, domestic abusers: physical, verbal or psychological, excessive gamblers, greedy, selfish, pornography users, adulterers or criminals. But you blame wives bc you are a #misogynist.
You liar! You got that from Timothy Gordon. Fraud.
"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice."
Duh. If this isn't obvious you made some interesting choices in your past
That is a RUSH to judgement.
That’s readily apparent in the sentence itself. Duh
@@David6.3 Who are you referring to?
Michael Craig the original post.
It’s self harm to stay in a bad relationship basically
leapsplashafrog people do it all the time tho. It’s part of the desperation mindset. Abusers LOVE their victims to have a desperation mindset.
And a lot more complicated than that also. Do you assume that we are all almost the same? There are millions of different influences affecting factors.
Sorry, we may be almost the same but our experiences aren't, therefore we can become so different :/ idk how to word that accurately tbh
It’s suicide bro
Well, it depends. In a run-of-the-mill bad relationship, sure. But in a seriously abusive one, the abuse short-circuits the victim's ability to think and act on their own behalf. They're conditioned by the abuse and threat of more abuse to think and act only for the desires of the abuser. And sometimes, an abuser outright tells their victim, "if you leave me, I'll kill you." There's really no way to blame a victim in a circumstance like that.
My dad takes every opportunity to put my mother down, catch her in a mistake even if she hasnt made one, make jokes at her expense, and to be disrespectful. He does this to me, too. Ive defended my mother and myself for 30 years, but often she'll worry about him and take his side. I've learned that fighting back was useless. And I've also lost respect for and trust in my mother.
Sounds like my mother. I think it is about her own reputation. She wants to make people believe that he is the best husband a woman could want, and that makes her the best woman. She will tell wonderful stories about how awesome he is, in front of other people, while everyone is rolling their eyes, but she does not see it. And if he bullies you, she will side with him because better you than her.
She may have ptsd, Stockholm, Battered wife's, or maybe even all 3. I wouldn't be too hard on her. Coming out of Narcissistic abuse after so many years is almost impossible. She may have had abusive parents before him. It may be all she's ever known.
Same thing for me, but in the reverse. It is my mother that exhibits this behavior. I have a lot of love for my daddy, but not a ton of respect. My husband would never tolerate me treating him that way & would put me in my place if I did. I get highly irritated with my mother. She is an unhappy person that ended up with my dad through poor life choices (premarital sex & and unwed pregnancy) and he is just stuck along for the ride because he thinks he deserves it. I am 42, so nothing will change with them, I guess. It makes me not want to be around them. I never stick up for my father, because then she turns on me & he will back down anyway.
@@timhensley3695 regardless of the cause you can't trust someone like that, because they're irrational, respect, well, i don't think he disrespects her, but probably doesn't acknowledge her as a wise and respectful person
she may be the victim of a narcissist
I don't know what I'd do without my long term boyfriend. He literally trained me to be a civilized human being lol! He found me when I was ferrel, I guess that's what he loved about me "being wild", but in truth the more he got to know me he found out I was just neglected a lot growing up and really wanted to learn how to be a GOOD person in society and learn how to take care of myself. Once he moved in he realized just how neglected I've been my whole life and he very kindly and gently taught me how to cook and take care of myself and in tern also take care of him. We take care of each other all the time and we both protect each other. I still have so many things I can do better for him still. He is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
We live in a society.
We need more strong men for this exact reason! Glad you have him!
Don't speak about yourself negatively. You certainly were not "ferrel" and there are plenty of people who dont know how to cook. Your boyfriend did not train you, I'm sure you would have learned things for yourself, had you not met him. He helped you that's all.
Great comment
this is me with my partner. he was severely neglected. how can i hold that against someone when they want more for themselves.
I sat next to Jordan Peterson’s wife at his talk in Indianapolis! She is just as humble and congenial. She never mentioned who she was (I discovered it was her later) and she was genuinely interested about what I did and where I was from. She also shared about her life and profession and I learned how impressive of a woman she is herself!
Bobby White Interesting. What does she do? Is she working in academia like Jordan?
Ruth M. She studied Art at McGill but later became a kinesiologist and is working on a technology that uses lasers to cure arthritis and nerve problems. It sounded really complicated and interesting.
Steve Stevenson stop watching porn and go read a book
Wash your Benis
Bobby White was she sitting in the front
....I arrived with my tarot cards and notebook in hand...I completely misinterpreted everything.
K 😭 stop lmao
HAHAHA!
@@hun3chick01 I'm just saying, turns of phrase will be the death of me.
K 😂lol
Should've consulted your crystal ball
Once I heard a psychologist refer to witchy women as "hit women". Their point was that a weak indecisive man is sometimes attracted to a demanding "hit woman" who will play the heavy in a situation, relieving the man of having to step up. I've seen it in action, it's a sight to behold.
"You have an obligation to those you love or are obligated to, to make sure they manifest themselves in a manner that is most beneficial over the long run."
-Jordan Peterson
Easier said then done.
If you got to make investment in someone's
Growth make sure that person's is you frist and your children if you have any.
And there are many growth investments that have supreme Roi besides finance that person needs to work on cuz finance if you have the basics and is just the icing and cherry on a grand cake.
Most ppl just see the icing and sweet cherries not caring about what put them on that high pedestal that dazzles all the untrained eyes mouths and they wonder why they are always straving in the places food can't reach.
Amen!
REMEMBER MEN, if a woman bullies other women, if she's part of the 'popular group', she shows arrogance, superiority and jealousy towards other women. ESCAPE. She'll do the same to you after settling into the relationship. She'll lure you first a a pick me up girl. If you have some sexist thoughts on women, she'll pretend she support that to lure you in. So change your attitude too so that you do not attract such women.
Can't when they are narcissists and everything you day is considered an attack on them but I understand what he's saying.
@@brandonbodwell1274It’s not all about what you say, in fact, it’s more about what you do and how you do it. Calling someone a narc seems to be a popular copout these days.😢
Your partner is the ultimate evidence of how you choose.
That and your sports car
The King always aligns with his Queen.
And vice versa
Alecia Sawyers
Perhaps somewhat too simplistic. People are complex: they don’t always show who they are or even know who they are which also means they can change. Not all people who marry abusive partners expect that to happen for example. You might argue they do but it’s a smug all knowing psychopomp who asserts that from a position of well it came to pass so unconsciously you did. Too easy too facile and possibly shy of the mark.
@@johnevans8416 a lot of it depends on how free the person felt at the time of making the choice. Free person always makes the right choice and you will know it because you were free to choose)
So abusive partnership can be the outcome of how much one resents his own limitations.
Alecia Sawyers and does being single mean you're wishy-washy?
"you don't put your partner down in public."
my wife's from Brazil. after coming to the USA and learning the language and getting her work visa, she was shocked by how frequently American women will bad-mouth their husbands at work. there's often a gleefully bitchy competition for who can dish the most dirt to her co-workers about the latest stupid thing her husband did, or the latest complaint about him. this conduct was completely foreign to her. in her experience, you just did not bad-mouth your spouse in public. if you're having marriage trouble you might discreetly ask a relative or friend for some advice, but you don't trash your man in public. never. not once.
this discovery for her was before we met, and her disgust with it one reason I knew she was a keeper.
I typically hear more men complaining about their wife then women complaining about their husbands at work. But typically it's because they are looking for women to pity them so they will have an affair. I've had so many married men trying to get into my pants. I'm naturally a very nice person and my male co-workers always take it the wrong way.
I have to agree with The Vegan, I hear so many of my friends, workmates trashing their wives, and all the stupid things they do, sometimes even their weight and talking about other women and what they'd like to do with them. I think that's really disrespectful.
@@bobsmith5441 You know it could just come down to them joking... For example at my husbands workplace the men tend to "complain" about how their wives wont let them get any sex, joke about their wives weight, or about things that their wives did and so on, and then act like young crazy stallions around other females. Discreetly within the group of course as it is a runing joke and they would not want to make other females uncomfortable. But it is all a joke and they love their wives, think they are beautiful, and the only woman in their lives. Most of the jokes said are even turned onto the men themselves. Like how they are just uncapable of satisfying their wives, how they could do well in losing a few pounds themselves and so on..
We all need some jokes in our lives and definetly at our workplace so to joke around is a good thing.
Sure there are men with ill intent out there but I think most of the time, it comes down to jokes between men. But with women there is never jokes involved, there is only pure trash talk... Or at least that is my experience...
@Fires And Flowers well why not? 🤷♀️
It is just a joke and if the spouse knows that it is, then no harm done.
You should be able to joke about everything because a society without laughter is a cold and unfeeling society.
And as a loving partner you should not want to sensor or force your partner to stop joking about things.
Besides daring to joke about someone you love like that, makes me think at least that you are so comfortable with that person that you know you can be yourself, joke around and such without them getting their panties in a twist.
Needing to constantly think about what you are saying around or away from your other half seems exhausting to me and not like a good relationship to begin with.
Sure you should never trash talk anyone especially not the person you love.
But to geniunly joke around has never killed or hurt anyone... Unless you are a sensitve snowflake of course but... Pretty much anything hurts a snowflake 😂
@Fires And Flowers ok so now it is sounding like you are trying to make personal attacks when Ive made a completely fine and logical argument... Who is the insecure one?
Besides joking about others or yourself is a social thing, jokes and laughter bond people. It is not to be mean or belittle someone,and if you think that is what it is, you have missed the entire point of jokes.
Jokes is a fundamental and important part in our society, and a society without jokes and laughter is a sign of a horrible and tyranical society.
People need jokes as a way of coping with life, with hardships, to bond and establish strong connections with others and so much more.
And being so comfortable with yourself and others that you can both take a joke and joke back should show if anything that you are more secure in yourself and who you are.
Not being able to take a joke and take insult to said joke should if anything prove your insecurity and probably a lack of strong bonds with other people in your life and so on.
I used to disdain the idea of marriage. My parents made me hate the idea. Than I met my boyfriend who built me up and gave me unconditional love and confidence which I've never experienced and I cannot wait to marry him.
Awww ❤
Then u will get pregnant. That's what happened with me and my husband. ❤ I'm 36 and still want to have another baby for my man...our first baby is perfect
@ThatPart322 I'm on the non hormonal iud so I won't get pregnant. I actually don't want kids. I'm happy for you though ❤️
You are very very fortunate.
Been married 17 years and learned this after I realized other people didn’t matter, almost to late. She’s the only thing that ever has. She’s been nothing but adored the last ten years and I’m lucky she always treated me the way she deserved to be treated our entire marriage.
Bravo !
♥️
If you object to it, and you do it, you're complicit" Jordan Peterson in this video just exposed why he's a coward and a hypocrit as he did just this with the 💉💉
I remember one day talking to my dad my kids mom. He let me get the things off my chest I felt I needed to. Then he said to me: "Never talk negatively about your baby mother in public. You slept with her. Who you lie down with says everything about you. So when you talk badly about her, you're only embarrassing yourself."
From then on, I kept my mouth shut.
imahelpfulperson. That's wisdom right there.
Ok, but you were discussing your relationship with your dad, who is presumably a trusted confidant, not in public. So it’s not at all the same
@@Tallonest Agreed.
Tallonest obviously, the point is he was trying to teach his son some wisdom. I just love when people miss the point. 😂😓
Wisdom that saves lifes and families.
He’s basically saying in complex terms, when you’re with someone romantically-there’s a level of trust and sanctity between you both. When you talk bad or cut down your partner in public, you’re basically saying you don’t value your most intimate relationships. So why should anyone else who’s not your partner trust you or not think you’d say the same negative things about them? While also implying you don’t trust yourself or your own judgment and you’d rather complain about things than change them. Just my 2 cents.
Thank you! You've saved me a lot
Agreed! Thank you for the reminder!
this is a fantastic summary
Well put!
Well summarised 👏🏾
Someone once told me that a relationship is two people helping each other to grow. Sounds kind of a cliche but I believe that in cultivating your partner you are growing yourself. If your only way of boosting yourself is to put your partner down then you must be in a pretty sad place to start with.
People can grow on their own. A relationship is for security and a good foundation for a family, cultivating is what gardeners do.
5:30 one of the life lessons that took many years to truly cement, especially with people I'm fond of. It's a big mistake to think "I don't want to be that nitpicking person" or "I don't want to ruin the vibe" or "It's too small to take a stand on" but soon enough it will snowball until these "little" things you dislike about them build up and explode and you regret the connection, or not grappling with them or calling them out in the first place.
So true.
I really need to learn this rn
“You don’t put your partner down in public. Why? It’s not that you’re hurting that person’s feelings, it’s that you’re denigrating the relationship that you’re in voluntarily.” Exactly. I don’t understand what motivates a person to do this, but it’s crushing, and it destroys any relationship.
They're jealous and insecure pieces of excrement.
I remember working as a waitress and cringing every time I opened bottles of wines to two couples at certain tables and watched as one of the husbands or wives put their partners down or made fun of, in a way that humiliated, them for the sake of trying to be funny and entertain the other people at the table. Truly cringing.
It's also incredibly disrespectful.
I think it’s part of “we accept/ seek the love we think we deserve”. The whole relationship was probably built on that kind of disfunction, so while it may be cringy to watch from a distance just imagine that every facet of that relationship is tinted with that same toxic energy.
It was cursed from the get go.
I just sat thru a Memorial Day cookout with a woman who did this the whole visit. And it was shame because she had traveled 5 hours to show up (her husband is up in our town in their seasonal cabin growing a garden while she stays in Long Island). We never really see her & had extended the invite so that her husband could entice her to visit him. It is crushing, too, because we adore her husband & he is such a stand up guy! He never says a word. She starts every visit off with complaints about random stuff, but then she picks little fights with him or tries to tattle on him. The other guest at the party was a pathological liar & braggart. It was fun event!
I made jokes about my wife for many years thinking its just in fun but I was wrong , I was hurting her , now I will spend the rest of my years trying to make up for it
Have you told her your mistakes and asked for forgiveness?
Same...I am an idiot I dont deserve her.
To, The Unhuman One, it takes guts to admit a mistake one has done to one’s partner and real maturity to want to express better actions towards them. You should be proud.
Are you still together? Were you allowed to change and still be together?
my ex constantly put me down in front of her and my family, and when we were alone together as well but she was actually far easier on me behind closed doors.
I gained 40 pounds, started drinking constantly and had a generally poor outlook on the rest of my life.
since i left her my mindset has completely changed. Lost 30 pounds and starting too gain muscle, eating properly, and excited about my future.
That is more or less the impact that degrading someone you say "I love you" to can have on their psyche.
I have a genuine fear that one day I will end up with a man who doesnt love me/respect me. That he will only see me as a tool to get a lifestyle he wants without seeing my value as a person... all the power is my hands to not have this become a reality, but I would be lying if I said I am not afraid of this... my parents' relationship is the reason why I am fearfull of this.
same thing with parents who complain about their kids
Wow couldnt agree more
He should talk about it aswell
@🥰 that is just a horrible thing to say and it is your fault for not taking any birth control
Now that the child has been born it is your responsibility like it or not
Dont make his/her life worse just cause you think yours is more important
@🥰 oh my bad your comment came off kinda selfish im sorry for that
Wish you well for your baby 👍
Yeah you’re literally bragging about what a failure of a parent you are😂
Got to be the most misleading title ever
Karl Ahnee Agreed lol 30 seconds in, I knew this was not on my wave length
@@suedesteele4455 u watched it tho
Karl Ahnee right? 😆
I had my hopes up but alas
How is this misleading...?
I realized I was overly critical of my bf when we started living together. He struggles with depression and I had never seen how this mental illness manifested in his day to day life and self care. He had been trying so hard to look functional around me that when he allowed me to live with him I was stunned by how little he would accomplish in a day. I quickly had to change my tune when I realized that commenting on what had not been cleaned or done was only making him retreat Into himself more. Now I try to gently build up his self esteem and if the place looks dirty I leave the house. Usually when he gets some space I come home and the house looks clean. Ultimately I choose him and I accept him in sickness and health. Making him feel bad for not being mentally healthy is a reflection on me choosing to be with someone who is not healthy enough for me. If I can’t deal with who he is today I should leave and do us both a favor. Either buck up or shut up.
Absolutely beautiful
You're awesome.
I hope you know that your loyalty and honesty is that of a man’s dream wife. I hope your boyfriend also knows that. I wish you both a happier life ahead of you both.
I've been trying to describe Jordan but I can't find the words. The best I can come up with is: an intellectual shaman and visionary teacher compelled to help humanity ALONE. I love him with every fibre of my being.
I was young , maybe 20 and my gf called me out on something that I was wrong on but she did it in public and naturally that was its own issue. I took her aside and said 'say anything you want to me in private, but NEVER in public'. This is so basic that even as an inexperienced young guy I deeply felt the truth of that.
if a man ever told my this i would stomp on his toes and spit in his face
Women don't have that kind of common sense.
That's so honest and beautiful. Hope you and your gf have grown better now :)
What is wrong with your partner pointing out that you are wrong?
This is not something that you should be particularly embarrassed or secretive about. Anyone can point out to me if I’m wrong, and if they make a strong case then I will accept the new information gratefully and change my opinion.
This highlights a typical flaw in Peterson’s teachings. The rule he casually puts forward there is the wrong rule, based on a wrong principal which is “that I should be embarrassed to be corrected by my wife.” That is just ego based nonsense in my opinion.
Mitch Waller It's about respecting your husband or wife. Maybe if you point out that they are wrong in a respectful manner, they won't care, probably they will be proud to be with such a polite person in public. I know I would.
In my darkest hour, UA-cam and Peterson again have saved me. Thank you.
Hang in there pal, I dislike clichés but it really does get better with time. Don't forget, you have value and you are the most important person in your life. Take care of you so that you can take care of others. Take time out so that you can focus on yourself. I'd argue mental health takes priority over physical health yet taking care of your physical health helps improve your mental health.
Hope you're feeling better everyday, we all have our down days but we have a responsibility to ourselves not to focus on the negative.
Wishing you well 👋
@@HSFrox thanks very much, sincerely. I hope your path leads to happiness. Kind person.
@@flyingnorseman I've recently had a massive turn around.
Being kind just comes naturally to me.
I would never wish anyone to go through the hell I've been through yet I know I'm not unique in my suffering.
We all need to know that whatever mistakes we've made we all have and deserve a chance to redeem our selves.
Love and light 🙌
Hey Paul,
Try to take Drastic evasion's words to heart. He's said some things, and he said it because he cares about you and your future, and so do I.
A little helpful advice watch what you put into your eyes and ears, it'll effect your brain and infect your heart. Delete social media and go outside and you'll see that on your street the sun is still shining and birds still sing and the sun still turns. Try to watch more things that lift up your spirits and inspire you. Stay away from horror and sex and violence. See no evil hear no evil.
Try it out buddy, it really works.
Return to innocence and turn a blind eye to madness.
Cringe
I think sometimes people change for the worse over the course of a relationship. They may change into people you did not choose to begin with. But I do agree that a decision must be made at that point whether or not you stay in it.
I did not allow cell phones at the dining table whether at home or in a restaurant. I considered it rude to ignore those you love while breaking bread.
Guests at my house were informed of this rule. Twenty minutes without a phone isn't going to kill you.
Yeah, when I got married I was young. And it stunned me when my husband started tearing down my self esteem. I was relieved when the marriage ended.
same happened with my mom. It kills a woman's spirit and she has bouts of anger at times.
Public humiliation from your spouse should be a deal breaker established during engagement.
and what about disagreement?
@@ronmar555 Disagreeing with someone doesnt mean you have to have a spat? What kind of disagreements do you have
I agree. No matter which way it comes from . I knew a couple , guy did coke (red flag duh) so he was disgusting anyways. Women late 20’s had a xchild already and just had his twins. At a restaurant he comments on how chubby she was, need to slow down ordering. Fluffier than you used to be!!!
-it was so disgusting I was appalled. On top of it, this woman was a terrible person to, a self centered narcissist whom kicked her child’s father out of his life unless he would be with her. rich southern girl with DUI and assaults charges on her . Terrible person seriously.
She was just as disgusting as him, and yet I STILL thought it was appalling and she should leave. Public humiliation of a partner is a no go NO MATTER WHAT
taothewanderer of course. Both ways. It would be just as appalling if she said that to him.
I strongly think great couples, are partners. Never let your partner down or put them down. It’s your teammate, your training partner, your best friend. Definitely both ways in my humble opinion.
ronmar555 I If the disagreement is respectful or even playfully intellectual where you work through the disagreement as if it were a thought exercise...I think that would be healthy. But if one partner gets upset and can’t entertain opposing ideas, we’ll then what’s the point. What an unhealthy one. Though if they are fundamental beliefs, then maybe disagreement isn’t something worth entering into. Fundamental beliefs about life, morality, etc.
This man helped me so much in recovering from a toxic workplace where people literally sold their souls for 15/hr.
If you object to it, and you do it, you're complicit" Jordan Peterson in this video just exposed why he's a coward and a hypocrit as he did just this with the 💉
How?
I think this should apply to all relationships. I once found out from a friend that they had vented about me to their other friends because I did something that annoyed them - mind you, it wasn't something they talked to me about first. The friend insisted it was just normal venting to deal with negative emotions, but I couldn't help feeling like an invasion of privacy had occured. Something unpleasant that existed in our relationship - which ended up being a minor issue that was resolved easily - had been aired out to third parties, putting me on display for judgment by others who were not involved, and had no way of knowing my side of the story. It felt like a sort of betrayal. I thought maybe I was overreacting at the time and didn't say anything about it, but this video has changed my mind.
Your face is like a cartoon character. It is beautiful
I say it can still be a healthy thing to have conversations with trusted friends about difficulties your facing in your relationship. Sometimes we need some support and open ears to make sense of things and process our feelings. It doesn’t always have to be a betrayal.
I’d say it really depends on their intention of discussing with other parties.
Is it to get validation and have a good bitch about your partner?
Or is it to just feel heard and seek supportive advice?
@@caitlyndevos9066 It would be decent to discuss the problem with the involved person in private first. I have noticed that people confide in me with their problems, in that problem-solving way you refer to, and I think it is because I don't talk about persons who are not present, and say nothing about them which I haven't told them first, but rather not.
@@robbert4968 simp
@caitlyndevos9066 Alao, sometimes a person wants to see if they are overreacting or being overly sensitive themselves. I have asked a 3rd party if I was being too sensitive about something based on hiw I was feeling.
At the end, the guy he’s looking at responds, ”all I asked was where did you buy that jacket?”
Just be respectful or walk away #1 red flag disrespect. Goes both ways.
@Thomas Serrano I'm sure your correct also but I seen the subtle disrespectful moments before the marriage. So it happens before.
@@theresacaprasecca9893 Exactly it happens before. Never turn a blind eye or give the benefit of the doubt in the beginning. Speak up. Benefit of the doubt is for people who have built trust
People tend to show their real self after marriage and kids. Marriage is a gamble.
@@videosforcatsanddogs214 I disagree. If it "shows up in marriage" it means you didn't do your research on your partner to begin with, or not to the extent you should have. All relationships start off with everyone on cloud 9 and on their best behavior. One has to give the relationship time, especially since most people today are in relationships for the wrong reasons (escapism).
Sooner or later people who use other people as a form of escape, as time passes and the relationship is no longer providing any novelty - which WILL happen in every relationship - then one is faced again with themselves, and THAT'S when the projections start, and that's when the mask falls.
If this is happening to people only in marriage, it's because they themselves are the narcissists who eventually got bored, or they didn't see the signs early on, or got married MUCH too quickly, which often happens when people are on emotional highs, rather than giving it time to see how the partner behaves during difficult times.
Plus, most men are desperate just to have a girlfriend these days, so they end up bending over backwards to extremes, without comprehending how they are the artisans of their own destruction.
i needed these videos while I was in High School, or maybe High School needs to implement these type of classes.
He is an absolutely outstanding and passionate lecturer. Amazing.
*summary of video*
Jordan doesn't speak at all on "witchy women," he doesn't use this term at all. What he talks about is how people should treat their spouses in public
He continues on about a group of men he was with and they talked badly about his wives. Jordan calls them idiots because they chose their companions. In public, you should give respect to your spouse and that courtesy should be extended to you.
( above is from start to 2:18 )
( below is from 2:19 onward )
He then discusses unconscious bias training and what it means if you choose to attended or don't.
This follows into a story that Jordan tells about an Egyptian pair and being wilfully blind.
From there, I got bored as it has nothing to do with the title.
thanks for the summary
usually, if you have a couple minutes of patience, dr peterson does an excellent job of bringing his lectures full circle. but dont listen to me... how does the saying go? cast not pearls before swine.
To be fair, he did actually utter the words “witchy women” when initially bringing up the complaining husbands ...
The presumption is that they chose their partners though, plenty of people just act on instinct. Such individuals may have personal gripes with their partner but find it comfortable to stick with them for physical desires. I don't think this is necessarily good, but it can be the case.
Thanks :)
Monsters grow when you turn a blind eye.
Really good point about denigrating your spouse. I'm in the middle of a divorce and occasionally say something snarky about my estranged wife, but I never feel good about it afterward. Lesson learned.
This will make the folks around you fairly uncomfortable & eventually get tired of hearing it. It is pretty common to have friends in your cirlce that are divorced or getting divorced these days - kind of unavoidable. And while most friends will be sympathetic, they don't want the constant drivel. Especially if it goes on for YEARs. I know women that are still b*tching about their ex & they have been married to their current husband longer than the first marriage lasted. The point is, you picked the person for some reason to marry in the first place & it takes two to tango. I babysit for a girl who is divorced. Every. single. thing. is the ex's fault. She can never see her complicity in the matter & it is taking a toll on her darling child. I get so tired of hearing it & get really embarrassed that she discussed this stuff in front of her 4 year old.
I married witchy men so to speak and then I grew up.
I worked on my life and self inside and out and then found the love of my life and we are even more in love and solid each year.
Marry someone w a heart to care and loves to be part of doing and helping in some helpful way.
🌈 💜 🌈
I’ve stumbled on to this Peterson guy, and his videos reminded me about things I didn’t realise I knew instinctively.
This man's articulation skills of ideas is superb!
I'm mesmerized myself! Absolutely amazing
It is amazing when someone has a clear and non corrupted mind with hard but truthful approach to human behavior, This man has studied his own mind and related things and also has this genuine need for truth in all respects. One of the hardest task for any human , person, is to be as honest about themselves and their thoughts and any underlying even subconsious thoughts and deeds. Sometimes a close and smart friend can point out some of your weakness in your tought and your expections. Those conversations can have the most benefit for your self, if you don't object them from a personal feelings.
i’m here bc this man is one of my current boyfriend’s interest so to relate to him i promised i’d watch some things he sends me. (he listens to all the songs i send him) and honestly… i’m happy this man is a positive influence on my current boyfriend bc my bf is an amazing man, and i think this man’s ideologies is partially to blame. so thank you for making a positive impact. it does show in my relationship 💕
Understanding reasonable people exist? I’ve not met many
I would encourage you to listen closely to what he’s saying and have deep meaningful conversations about some of the topics with him (that is, if you truly love him)
He never ceases to make my day better. And all I ever gave him was the money for that book, which I certainly don't regret.
Hi, which book this lecture derives from. Thanks
@@rocagt05It's twelve rules for Life - an antidote to chaos.
Music&Arts Haltern A man that has been accused of hate speech for several years. It is certain that different people will always be misjudge for those who lives under the common standards that societies have imposed. I love this man.
I can't go a day without listening to him. JBP is totally fascinating. How on earth does he manage to speak so in depth about absolutely EVERYTHING. And I mean EVERYTHING!! Thank god for that bill C16!
I borrod it from the library....not paying for that crap....and couldn't get through the pompous banality...
2:00 "help your spouse to look good". This should be your goal. Make yourself look good to make your spouse proud of you. Help your spouse to look good themselves as well.
All bets are off when after 23 years she will never even listen
BE good. And choose spouses accordingly.
I have never been married but I have learned this lesson in my last relationship. I am excited to be able to do things better. The next guy wont be abusive (hopefully) so I feel like ive been through it all and will have so much gratitude.
My ex tried to humiliate me in public. Pissed me off so much, one of the reasons he's my ex. People who do this are Narcissists.
@Luke Dixon Narcissists have no empathy. I have empathy towards animals which is why I'm vegan
Yeap, my ex husband embarrassed me in public, few weeks later he the separation papers.
@@jennylynn9668 I find that kind of behavior healthy. In a (relatively) free society for the abuse to happen two conditions must be met: someone inflicting abuse and another one accepting it. You did not accept and that's good, although I'm sure there were plenty of signs that things were not going so well. Terminating a marriage only because of a single mistake would be extreme.
Jordan spent so lot of word in order to avoid feministic censorship to explain simple thing: kick out a bitch from your life. Seems Canada has less freedom of speech than Africa. Shame for Canada.
or just immature. i know cause I was like that when I was 16, i just assumed that was the way things were supposed to be (not good role models either).
Never embarrass your partner in public, never say “that’s not how it happened” when your partner tells a story in public, never argue in public, never show disdain or dislike or displeasure for your partner in public, never use disparaging language with your partner when in public...I think you get it 😊
I mean . . you shouldn’t be a liar on the first note & everyone should have free agency over their own feelings (autonomy). Respecting your partner doesn’t mean disrespecting yourself and what you stand for to save face. It’s about mutual respect, you may both have different roles but equally important in the contribution to making the relationship & possibly foundation to your family structure, so it’s important to not undermine and value each other
I have said "thats not how it happened" when an ex was talking embarrassing shit about me...then I fired back with do you remember when you were that drunk you ate lasagne off the floor with your hands and burnt your mouth. Was never gonna work out.
Same rules as the mafia
Brilliant speaker with an amazing mind. I love watching and learning from him. I am so grateful to him and for his teachings!! 🙏
Amen ❤
What does this lecture have to do with “witchy women”?
This is just to avoid feminist's censorship. Jordan spent so lot of word in order to avoid feministic censorship to explain simple thing: kick out a bitch from your life. Seems Canada has less freedom of speech than Africa. Shame for Canada.
nothing really (click bait). he's actually talking about how incoherent people are when they complain about something yet do nothing. And stating how uncool and unethical we are when trashing your friend-partner-lover. Lowering your partner's status and yourself (not trustworthy within nor outside)
@@sergeyfilat4238 Jordan Peterson was publicly accepted on Canadian TV shows and at the university where he teaches after getting in trouble with feminists. People listened to feminists talk trash for a short time but then forgot about it when they got to know Jordan Peterson better. Also: Fuck Russia lmao
Jezebel spirit,witchcraft,the title has a deeper meaning to it
@@UhtredOfBamburgh yeah they tried to misconstrue his arguments and make him look like a sexist.
Try arguing in good faith. Also Russia is fine.
If you need to have a discussion with your partner about not embarrassing each other in public.. you might be with the wrong person in the first place.
thats a good way to think
Without acknowledging it happened and choosing to let them go, you’re choosing to follow the belief that education cannot contribute to conscious behavioural change.
Totally agree! Basic common sense doesn't require a conversation. If you love someone, you stand up for them and you won't allow anyone to humiliate them, let alone doing it yourself!
No, not necessarily... some people are oblivious to their actions, until you point them out. or grew up in dysfunctional families where these type of things are normal. Healthy discussion is always a must in every healthy relationship.
It depends on the situation. I accidentally upset my partner by recalling an example from a previous story he told that he didn't find flattering to him at all (he had punched someone), but I didn't realize he felt that way about the matter until he told me. Sometimes you do need to explain it to the person.
If you afraid of being alone you'll stay forever. The devil you don't know is much much smaller then the one you currently have.
@Jayson Jayson I guess she means that confronting your loneliness is less of a problem than dealing and sticking with a person that makes your life miserable. So if you are afraid of confronting being alone, you will be enslaved by others. I don't know, that's the way I interpreted it.
Force yourself to become comfortable being alone. It will take time and the first year (or more) will be hard. Most of us have an ingrained panic about not being in a relationship and never confront that fear. But once you do, life becomes so much easier and relaxed. It took me 3.5 years of being single to reach that point. Now I have zero desire to ever get married, as I can objectively see it for what it is. I'm happy to date, even the same person for life, but I will never legally bind myself to another human via the state. I came into this world alone and I'll leave it alone, and I may enjoy being with certain people I meet, but I no longer NEED them. Too many people use other humans to fix some flaw or gap they have in their lives and become dependant on them and miserable as a result. People need to grow up.
@@LDT7YI think you are smart enough, which is rare in people, to know that being in a relationahip just to avoid comforting your fear of being alone it only creates suffering in the long run. But this is only the first step of maturity (which, again, is rare to find). There is something else here, the possibility of living a life with commitment and responsability, intimacy, respect, care and openess with another person. A true marriage. Not just a pretended/purely social/economical marriage. A true marriage, when ying and yang are met, where union is what matters, a right, decent and propser relationship that serve both to attain higher levels of maturity. Otherwise, living a life without commitment, with having the possibility of runing away at any time or when things get hard, is just living a teeneger life when older too. And that's nuts. My two cents
I respect your opinion, but I'll have to agree to disagree with you here. I don't see chaining yourself to another human via a state backed legal contract as somehow being more meaningful and 'mature' than choosing to be with a person because you want to be with them. I'm not sure why remaining with someone because of love rather than legal requirement is 'nuts'.
@@LDT7Y Exactly, but if you onserve my messy attempt to communicate my idea, I was actually saying that the pretended, just social and economical contract called marriage is not a true marriage. For me marriage is the voluntary decision to be and remain in union with a person, and because a relationship is not only about being happy, is also about maturity and responsibility, both man and woman need to really commit to each other. So in hard times, in rough times, in times of temptations, in times of confusion, disappointment, weakness, sickness, and you name it, you will be there too. So both individuals involved share happiness and also sadness, joy and also depression. And in that, in that intimacy, openess, committment and love, grow and fullfilment can happen. Having a partner just becuase now i feel "in love" or because now you gave me pleasure, with no real commitment and passion, is living inmaturely. And living a life without really, really relating with someone else, deeply, is not living fully. And if you allow me this last thought: I believe that the spiritual path of human beings, the ying and yang, the union of opposite poles, female and male energy combined, is there so we can get closer to "God", or closer to what "Existence" wants us to live and florish with.
I have made a mistake to pick a right person for my marriage. My husband is happily playing the computer games almost all day and night and do no work or house work. I admit that I am a fool. It is hard to move on when the children are involved. My children love my husband. I need to respect that. I learnt unconditional love through my children.
Wow. You hate him becsuse he enjoys his hobbies.
Total witch.
My mother was abusive to my beloved stepfather and even had his children disrespecting him. I was so affected that I became the counter opposite and took a very diminutive role with my husband. If you don't respect someone, you can't love them.
Dr Peterson is so smart! So articulate! I have been able to discern which married couples I knew, would either hit a very rough time very soon or would divorce by the way they speak of each other in public. Unfortunately, my own marriage, included. Every time he would speak of me badly in public, we would have a conversation at home in private, when we arrived back home. Then, he would do it again. I started heading him off when I would see him start, it would only end up in him berating me further, in public. Finally, I stopped caring. When he would get ready to say something, I would walk away. He told me that I was being over sensitive. Yeah, right. Glad that he is someone elses problem, now.
Narcissus husbands!
Trust me my husband has cancer and I have chronic fybromyalgia
And a failing heart and we look after eachother
Plus God is in our marriage and he helps so much .
We don’t really argue we discuss situations and then think about it and come to a decision .
Why do people have to be horrible to a husband or wife
It not on .
God bless you all in Jesus's name
Ppl like you and your husband are very rare these days
Blessings to you my beautiful sister. May God lavish love on you and your husband today and forever.
@Your call is not important to us
Fruits, Veggies, legumes primarily. The female, back when we were hunter/gatherers, subsisted primarily on berries and nuts.
The female biology is very different than the male biology. Women's biology does extremely well on diet primarily of fruits, veggies, nuts, and beans.
Fruits can have all the caloric content of carb-based foods, and legumes tend to have as much protein and b vitamins as meat. Not to mention plant proteins tend to boost estrogen, keeping a woman healthier in so many ways;
Like
Regular ovulation
Clear, healthy skin, nails, hair
Efficient digestion
Restful sleep
More effective fat burning
All of which combined result in (gasp!)
No more fibromyalgia.
The moral of the story?
Don't be a gluttonous piggy
What little time you have is high quality. Probably higher quality than people who have ample time and destroy it.
He’s so Excited that he feels like he figured it all out...& he’s so Eager to share it to help others “ get it”! But it is from his point of view as an obedient Canadian ! He doesn’t leave room for other personality types interpretations? But he comes from a good place! He’s actually Compassionate person that wants to help relives others sufferings..so he’s a Real Boddisatvah🙏
I'm unfamiliar with "Bodisatvah" but I agree with you assessment of JP. I enjoy listening to him talk because it's like watching an origami artist. Each turn creates another discovery. It's delightful!
I haven’t dipped into the “Jordan Peterson Files” in some time... what a wonderful dip.
Leaving my husband was the best thing I ever did for my personal growth. He wasn't so bad himself but he wouldn't stand up for me against his nasty family.
J B 🎈🎉🎊 I hope you find a man that makes you feel secure. “Mama’s boys” are the worst.
@@cleopatra2462 Aww thank you 😘
If you grab a pliable guy you have to have the strength to mold him.
@@bene3443 he wasn't pliable
Did you make it known how you felt or did you expect him to mind read ? Women tend to internalize and want men to pick up how they feel with gestures and looks . In most cases that won’t happen and so you need to be clear and concise about how you feel . If you did address this issue did he refuse to see your side or was he totally dismissive? It just seems a shame since as you said he wasn’t terrible on his own accord it was just his family that was the main problem
I made these mistakes. He is 100% correct. All my fault for being in love and being blinded by it. No common sense, just stupid on my part.
Yep...i was 'captain save a ho'...red flags everywhere....completely my fault
Yeah, me too. I found out the true meaning of the saying, "Love is blind." The sex was great, which is why I didn't break up with her when I should have, but man, that sex was awfully costly! (In money, in stress and confusion, in strained relationships with friends and relatives, in self-esteem, embarrassment....) I'm OK now, many years later, and I can laugh at my youthful stupidity. Met a really nice woman and really appreciate her.
Broken hearts are for assholes...
You lack humanity if you never feel heartache. Or maybe you just haven't had the experience yet of losing someone you love.
Dan Henry I feel ya, tell me about it. I’m a single dad with three kids, from two lousy women. I was attracted to them, and attracted to the delusional fantasy of a life with them. I was in love with the dream, but not the reality.
I used to hang out with women who bashed their husbands all the time. At one point I found myself looking for things to complain about my husband. At that moment I realized they were toxic and never hung out with them again. I no longer talk bad about my husband. It changed how I see him. He is my hero! Happily married for 23 years.
You seem a bit delusional. Going from trash to hero is a major red flag. No man is a hero. Who the F did he save? You? If so, then you both need therapy cause savior-victim relationships are toxic.
@@valshiro515 He was never trash, I was just looking for negatives so I could fit in with the group. Yes, that was very toxic. We saved each other. His love was the first unconditional love I had ever felt, so I was empowered to cut out my toxic family, recognizing they were emotionally abusive. The way I saved him, well that is his story to tell. Sorry you are so bitter. I hope you find a good relationship one day.
Love some of Peterson's and Jung's insights. Thank you poster, teachers and universe. Happy +++
Married 20 years, 7 kids. Both of us grew up in dysfunctional homes, but our parents stayed together, mine 50 years, his 35 years.
We've had some very rough patches, but we've always been relatively happy. I know we'd never trade each other. We're never passive aggressive. We are always direct about what bothers us, and we always try to approach one another under the assumption that neither of us is purposely trying to wound the other.
For my part, I pray every night for my husband. I thank God for him, and think about all the things I value and respect about him. I do this even if I'm furious. It causes me to put my arm around him instead of turning my back to him, even if he's turned his back to me. I feel like we've overcome so much through simple forgiveness, because even if he's not sorry, and doesn't agree that he's done something wrong, I can tell that he values the fact that I seek reconciliation regardless of getting my way or not. I don't know what his process is, but I know that he repays my respect and loyalty with loyalty and value. I often think he gives in to me, not necessarily because he understands me, or my point, but because he values me enough to put his understanding second to his care for my feelings. I am really so blessed, and I feel truly loved and cared for.
That's nice :)
I’ve only been listening to his podcasts recently. I’d forgotten how incredibly expressive and helpful his hand gestures are. And they’re more than simply verbal gestures. It’s almost interpretive dance. I can see the weird cosmic objects he’s holding.
This video is the first I’ve ever heard of Jordan Peterson (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) loved the video and stayed for the thought provoking comment section!!
Me and my wife been together for 4 years. Married for 2. She says I can't meet her emotional needs. She's kinda told me but can't explain what she needs. It's something she can't explain. I've tried many things but she said she checked out now and nothing will work and she called the quits and don't love me as a husband anymore. She loves me like a friend. Needless to say we're both devastated and we have 2 kids and now we don't know what to do.
take it a step further and never embarrass anyone who you have any type of relationship with; significant-other, sibling, co-worker, employee, cashier, etc, but especially those closest to you, more emphasis the closer they are to you.
Change the title of the video please. It's misleading and out of context.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Very much so.
thank you! the title i dislike, even though i agree with what he's saying in the video
maybe he was listening to the Eagles.
All of this channel's videos titles are.
People who are with an abusive partner often assume, as a means of coping, that ALL people of that gender "are just like that."
My parents married over 35 years always taught me to correct my husband/spouse in private. And we do just that when needed. When there is respect for each other this works itself out naturally I’ve found.
“If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice..” - Peart, Lee and Lifeson
"basically it's like you holding up a sign, I am an idiot", Peterson could do awesome stand up comedy😂😂
This isn't standup? I thought the classroom was a stage setup
What kind if humor is this? Needs a genre...
Yes! 100% !!! He has so much fun interviewing comedians when he invited them onto his podcast or they invite him. He understands the mind of comedians. He is a comedian. A true comedian and so so so so much more. 💙
I just want o say how much Information and thought provoking topics Jordan Peterson handles with calm authority in understandable language.
I was hoping this was about women who charge their crystals during a full moon, use tarot cards and cleanse their apartment with palo santo.
my favorite non-celebrity, celebrity.
Many men can spot "crazy" a mile away. But we're bored, too domesticated, and the animal in us needs a occasional challenge, some excitement in our lives. So we go for it. And lose every time.
But, it's still a less dangerous an activity than our ancestors played at, like having to risk their life attacking another tribe to steal themselves a bride, then dragging her home to mate with, make you some bread out of acorns.
Lol I hate loving them crazies too. Lol
@M B Ass is in, boomer
I think I continually make this mistake...
I don't really think that is usually how that played out
At least cavemen didn't have to pay alimony.
The truth that we need hear, I love this man delivery 🥰🥰🥰
In my therapy for social anxiety disorder I am told that I shouldn't think of myself as inferior/inadequate. I cannot reason myself into that position because I know I'm not adequate. I have been avoiding 'dragons' my entire life. I don't think I can feel good about that and I don't think I should.
I need to adopt the responsibility I have been avoiding all this time.
Raven hair and ruby lips,
Sparks fly from her fingertips.
Echoed voices in the night,
She's a restless spirit on an endless flight.
MasterSgtSlappy lmao
MasterSgtSlappy Gay
MasterSgtSlappy - I grew up in the 80s so these to me are song lyrics.
Go look up Abra Abra Cadabra (I wanna reach out and grab ya).
Yes. They are the lyrics to "Withcy Woman" in reference to the title of this video....which was totally unrelated. I don't get it.
@Anewlevel You make no sense. I'm going to point out when things don't make sense. What do you even mean by your statement? In highschool they had us read an excerpt or a few paragraphs of a topic being explained and then had us answer what the best title for it might be. The best title of this is nowhere near "Men who marry Witchy Women". He said "barbarian witches" once. It's not the topic. The topic is about having a good relationship with your partner and protecting it in public and then he completely goes somewhere else with it. So what are you even talking about?