every single one of you. every. single. one. of you. are beautiful people inside and out. beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. to me, you are all beautiful humans. we, all of us, are in this together. i think of it like this, we are given a disadvantage over most of the others in the world. yet here we are, in this together, now we know we are not alone, look how many of us share the same hell together. knowing this, that we are in this together and that so many others are out there in our shoes, at least for me, is beyond comforting. talking to so many of you and hearing your situations also, idk why, but it makes me feel better and i enjoy it. not that i am happy that others have this fu*** super shi**** condition but its nice to hear and talk to you all who can connect with me. i really thought i was talking to a wall. i will try and keep my emotions out of this and keep this short but i just want to say, you are not alone, and YOU WILL BEAT this sh** and we are going to do it together. its my mission. i also know i promised i would respond to everyone here but tbh i have actually not even looked at this just because it actually has overwhelmed me just a bit. I want to respond to everybody and it stresses me out because i know i cant respond to everyone like i said i would. so i want to say that i am sorry about this. but you can talk to me, and tbh i actually really enjoy talking to you guys because at least i am able to connect with you all on this and for some reason its been easier for me to talk and connect with people on this topic. this is in no way a plug what so ever. but there are so many comments here that i just cant make it to all of them, but you can message me on instagram. if you want to talk, have questions, would feel good for you to talk, or you just need somebody to vent to, come to me and feel free to. idk why but i am really enjoying talking to you guys and you may 100% feel free to message me on instagram. about anything. im here. just give me a bit to respond. but i will. if i dont, comment on one of my pics, or do something else so to get my attention and tell me you messaged me. talking to others about this is like a breathe of fresh air for me, i never ever expected anything like this to happen or this many people to be going through the same struggle and not have anybody to talk to about it or have jsut kept quiet. we are the only ones who know just how difficult this is and how disabling it is for us. okay enough from me. here is my instagram if you want to talk instagram.com/ben_mayz/
gosh everything you said in this video is my life. i was bullied and developed social anxiety and always feel like people dont like me as much as i liked them.that always messed with my head in adulthood. i eventually got a job working with like 100 great people and all of them liked me but i never like hung out with anyone outside of work. finding out i had adhd and getting on adderall helped me get out of head as well as my bf being "mr popular capt of football team" he is super outgoing. he forces me(more liek a nice nudge lol) to go out and it then becomes freaking out to ok this isnt so bad and it has gotten better. i hope you can find your way, its still a struggle but finding just one friend or partner who is the opposite of you can help if they understand and know when to push and not. if you lived close to here i feel like you would get along with our very small and social anxiety filled group lol if youre ever in yorktown va you have four people who would totally get you.
Yep. Know the feeling. Overthinking things really sucks but when you’re in that trance, that endless loop of being worried, it’s like an allergic reaction where you keep sneezing or scratching your skin because it itches. It’s hard sometimes to ignore the bullshit in your head, and the number of physical symptoms that go along with it. It’s also tiresome to keep explaining this people but they never truly understand wtf you’re going through. All I hear from people is that their back or leg is hurting them, you know minor shit compared to the nightmare you’re experiencing mentally the overall effect it has over your physical well being. These drugs are a joke too. I’ve never taken pills for a long period of time because I refuse to be a guinea pig for Big Pharma, I’ve only tried a few medications for a short period of time. I want some magic pill that gets rid of this shit for good but it doesn’t exist and it doesn’t come without a price, like the endless amount of side effects that go along with it. It leaves me with no choice but to live with it. Therapy is a joke too. It works for some people which is fine, I wish them the best, but during every session all I heard was the pills will make me feel better. I’ve only tried these anti anxiety anti depressants a couple of times and felt suicidal af, meanwhile it was barely a placebo, and they have to “take time” to work, meanwhile it’ll take several weeks and I’ll have to feel the negative symptoms that I felt when I first tried 25mg of sertraline for several weeks. Not worth it. I’ve heard many negative reviews about antidepressants.
Yes, for almost 30 years I had this. I somewhat can control it now by accepting that being really awkward is ok and just go with it. Almost like instead of trying to act smart (which induces anxiety), acting dumb is really easy and releaving. I think it's important to get out there and get beaten by uncomfortable situations to the point you become somewhat immune.
I’m 65 yrs old, and only about 5 years ago I finally realized why I never had friends - I’m a loner. I’ve learned to embrace my time alone (though married). And so, I’m never lonely even when alone…
Same bro. I have job. Own place. Everything. But I have no friends. 25 years old. Like you said, introverted but you want to socialize. Its difficult. Feels like I have to go out somewhere with a bunch of people and force conversation for the sake of having friends. It's so difficult.
For me No extended family since 1999, they all turned on us... Not one true friend since 2007 Went 15 yrs without a kiss, and 17 without any sex... now on 2yrs without them, and all together with sex, it was the same girl! Life is just so hard
I'm 40 now, but went through the same thing when I was in my early 20's. Realize this... introverted is another way of saying that you value real relationships, while in turn you're not good with superficial conversations. You'll feel like you missed out for many years, but as people grow and mature, you (and they) realize that partying was nothing but a quick drug. There are so many more things that I look back on, and feel thankful that I went through this transition. That said, going out to a bar to have a couple of drinks by yourself is undervalued. Just sit there, people watch, and dont pressure yourself to do anything.
I’m 27 with no close friends, I don’t call, message, or text anyone. I rely on anime, videogames, and music to entertain myself. Somehow I accepted that I’m happy that way.
I've been having lots of social anxiety and it's getting a bit worse after I graduated from high school two years ago. I can totally relate to this. It is difficult to even walk up to a person and start a conversation. It's just the voice in the back of our heads creating false scenarios or making up stuff. I also have been dealing with "Phone Anxiety" for a long time and whenever someone such as my mom, tells me to call customer service or even trying to call a stranger, my heart starts to race and my hesitance grew. To whoever is reading this that has social anxiety, we are in this together and we can break free from this! Stay strong people!💪🏻
@@MissTracyyy223 Not everything peaceful is good for you, you need some chaos and risks in life to create a balance and challenges to give your life a meaning.
Being alone is different from loneliness. Sure you can enjoy the bliss of being alone, but loneliness is a different thing. People think it’s great and all but trust me, it’s not. Most people don’t know what it actually feels like to be lonely so please stop.
Same here. Not necessarily party, but just chill and enjoy yourself but the same time you're introverted. It's a deep conflict and being in the middle zone makes you feel like time is just wasting by
It's bullshit. Has social anxiety but is more than happy to make a video to put on a social media platform that millions will potentially watch meaning he'll most likely be recognised by people that know him or know of him. A core part of the condition is fear of being judged and being overly concerned with how others perceive you, the last thing you'd want to do is draw attention to yourself. The real kicker is that he leaves his instagram page at the bottom and you need only take one look at that and his cover is blown.
I am 26 and have no friends. Ben, thanks for making this video. You are exhibiting a desire to improve your life openly and that is an admirable thing. You give me a sense to want to improve myself or atleast progress in that direction.
I have ZERO social skills. I don’t like talking much because I never have anything to say. But once someone invites me to hangout or something, I always give excuses and say I’m busy because I don’t know how to act and I’m super awkward
@cucumber202 Once you accept the fact you "can't" overcome it, you'll get lazy and be content with it. Don't say "I can't" and instead say "I can overcome it, but it's not going to be easy".
Same. Sitting at home alone searching up why I have no friends at 25 years old... I know lots of people, but I'm not close with anyone. I was starting to think I'm strange. I didn't realize how many other people feel this way.
I’m 12, 13 soon Aren’t typical 8th graders meant to be hanging out with their friends? Not stay at home playing games/homework all day... My social skills are getting worse faster and faster. Never had proper friends since 2018. In 2019, a couple of girls, for 3-4 months, tried their best to get me to talk and get closer, but sadly, social anxiety said no, and I’d always run away from them, refusing hugs, conversations/etc. I never knew about social anxiety until I was diagnosed in August the same year.
Same, I’m 25 too. Plus I’m an only child, and not close to any of my cousins/family. It sucks seeing other people go places with their friends while I’m just doing the same things I do everyday. But I find comfort in knowing there are other people who are in the same situation. Thank you all for sharing.
As someone who just turned 23 this year and really started to notice similar things this video hits home. Maybe all of us aren't so different after all
hi hon, im learning in my psychology courses at college from a wise professor that changed my life that besides the “viscious cycle”, we often forget that there is such thing as the “virtuous cycle.” it’s about doing good for others that in turn make yourself feel good. it’s actually amazing how easy and simple it is- participating in volunteer work like food drives, helping homeless, animals if you like, anything charity related. i think you should try it. it’s an opportunity for you to meet people, and then write about how you feel after when you come home! thx
Jesus Never left you or Forsaken you my Friend Better Believe that 😄He is watching and Cares for ALL of us in this Crazy life we live🙏❤Get your Focus on Christ The Saviour he really loves us:TheCROSS 🙏💟I am not healed out of nowhere from my incurrable sickness (: Better Believe that there is more to life than this Physical World💯Devil doesnt want us to wakeup...Just saying
I totally get this and agree. I recently moved out of state almost 5 months and can say I have made two genuine friends and that’s all I need. I recognize that most of the ppl I come across will not *genuinely* care. But, I get along with most people at the same time. It’s weird. Moral of the story- make sure you treat the ppl in your life that actually care about you accordingly because those are the ppl that you need in your life. They are hard to come by, seriously.
@@mb-md3wj same I have three that I love dearly and trust completely. That’s hard to find , I’ve went through many bad friends to learn you need to be very selective.
I'm pretty sure all my problems are because I'm in fact not an introvert. If I wasn't an extrovert would it even matter that i don't have friends or a social life lol
Exactly, there’s some people in the comment section saying that having no friends is the best thing to happen to them... but no, it is to an extent, but eventually solitude catches up if you spend too much time on being alone.
I'm 27 too. I have no friends, job or social life. I've never dated or kissed anyone. The fear of people is wired into my brain, making me physiologically unable to open up to them. I'm pretty sure I will live the rest of my days and die alone.
Get medicated and work on it with a therapist, and if you need to, maybe move or something. Go to large social gatherings. I feel your pain brother, please just don’t give up.
It's 3 years since you posted this video & somehow it showed up on my feed. I can say that I, too, have social anxiety & I am currently 55 years old. I, too, never felt like I belonged anywhere & I had always chopped it up to being adopted. Now I see there are many reasons that people have social anxiety. I grew up in a large family, I always knew I was adopted & never truly felt like I belonged in my family, let alone anybody else in the world. I saw a therapist for 14 years & thought I worked through so many challenges in my life, only to realize social anxiety was still there. I keep working on it & have learned that there is nothing wrong with anyone that has social anxiety. I believe we can overcome anything as long as we keep working on it. It may never be the way we want but improving how we feel about our self is a huge step forward into healing ourselves. I sure hope that things are better for you Ben as it took mountains of courage to post your video. That in my eyes is HUGE & you should be proud of yourself taking that step & putting everything out to the world. To anyone that has social anxiety, know you are not alone out there & there is a huge community of us to connect with, one person at at time. We can learn so much from each other. Peace & Love to all out there suffering from social anxiety. ❤
you are not alone. i am here with you. thank you. i am glad that we are rocking in the same boat my friend. it is nice and feels almost refreshing to hear someone else talk about this issue and feel the exact same way and know that you yourself are going through the same thing. for me its almost refreshing, and helps me feel normal as not many people like to talk about it. thank you for comment. stay strong minded, we will beat this shit. stay in touch. cheers mate
May God bless you and be with you. I share this. John 14: 21 He who has My (Jesus) commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” 22 Judas (not Iscariot) *said to Him, “Lord, what then has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world?” 23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. 24 He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father’s who sent Me. John 21: 24 This is the disciple who is testifying to these things and wrote these things, and we know that his testimony is true. 25 And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they *were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself *would not contain the books that *would be written. John 7: 37 Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “[g]If anyone is thirsty, [h]let him come to Me and drink. 38 He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From [i]his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” 39 But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified. Where can one start reading The Bible? In The New Testament: The Gospel of John and/or Acts. about existence of God: ua-cam.com/video/BljrAME1LLw/v-deo.html ua-cam.com/video/7c9PaZzsqEg/v-deo.html about Scriptures, videos are in English: jezus.simplesite.com/435491565 Romans 6: 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
I feel ya , I'm now 35, I have my wife and a few people I talk to only at work. Besides that, I hang out with no one and haven't really since around 23 ish also.
I love introverts. So real and sincere. I always get a good vibe from them (us!). The extroverts may be more popular, but it's the introverts that produce for the world. Rock on, luv.
Then wouldn't it just make more sense to embrace your introversion rather than force yourself into socializing (particularly if you don't even enjoy it)?
@@devinbarnes7381 im dont force myself to socialize. i have the need to feel validating or the inherent need to be with someone.But at the same time im socially awkward and do not like people
I realised that people that have social anxiety or introverts are the most genuine people ever & are good friends & conversationalists. I could be wrong but people with social anxiety & introverts dislike small talk but if you talk about life or any deep convos, we come to life & break out of the social anxiety armour.
sadly too many people dont wanna talk about stuff like that, they rather converse about superficial stuff, makes me sleepy...not many people around that like to talk about history, philosophy, politics, many even get angry or upset if you try to talk about stuff like that...and at some point, you stop trying.
It takes a huge amount of courage to even come out and confront that very issue, so anyone here struggling, you're all wonderful, beautiful people. You are not your Social Anxiety, You're so much more. Props to this video!
I’ll never forget the fear of eating lunch alone in high school. It happened once and it was miserable. It sucks that we are hardwired to care about such trivial things like that.
same even worse, having thoughts about people making fun of you. its was hell dude. high school sucked big time. i feel like such an outsider out of the human species
Junior year in high school I moved to Florida knew no one and that first couple weeks walking into that cafeteria was so depressing lmao. Them chicken sandwiches went hard tho!!
I was bullied for 11 years. Both physically and psychologically. The kids would even come up to my bedroom window and be mean to me. The would write nasty letters and dump it in my family’s mailbox, they would hit me (in different ways, using objects or hands) and sometimes stand outside the bathroom door in school, saying mean things to me, and then pushing the door so I couldn’t get out. Even the teachers would bully me. I had no one back then, - apart from my parents. I know that I am lucky that I at least had my parents, but man, - being bullied for that long... Thankfully today I do have friends and I am very grateful for that.
May God bless you and be with you. I share this. John 14: 21 He who has My (Jesus) commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” 22 Judas (not Iscariot) *said to Him, “Lord, what then has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world?” 23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. 24 He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father’s who sent Me. John 21: 24 This is the disciple who is testifying to these things and wrote these things, and we know that his testimony is true. 25 And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they *were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself *would not contain the books that *would be written. John 7: 37 Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “[g]If anyone is thirsty, [h]let him come to Me and drink. 38 He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From [i]his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” 39 But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified. Where can one start reading The Bible? In The New Testament: The Gospel of John and/or Acts. about existence of God: ua-cam.com/video/BljrAME1LLw/v-deo.html ua-cam.com/video/7c9PaZzsqEg/v-deo.html about Scriptures, videos are in English: jezus.simplesite.com/435491565 Romans 6: 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Truer words were never spoken. I used to have a "buddy" that I'd hang out with but he used me as a stepping stone every chance he got to make me look bad and lift himself. Sadly it works too. It's not like tv where some woman comes in to help, oh no everyone piles on until you feel like you're nothing. Needless to say I stopped hanging out with him but I don't have anyone else to hangout with now
J E S U S John 7: 7 The world cannot hate you, but it hates Me because I testify of it, that its deeds are evil. John 7: 15 The Jews then were astonished, saying, “How has this man become learned, having never been educated?” 16 So Jesus answered them and said, “My teaching is not Mine, but His who sent Me. 17 If anyone is willing to do His will, he will know of the teaching, whether it is of God or whether I speak from Myself. 18 He who speaks from himself seeks his own glory; but He who is seeking the glory of the One who sent Him, He is true, and there is no unrighteousness in Him. 19 “Did not Moses give you the Law, and yet none of you carries out the Law? Why do you seek to kill Me?” 20 The crowd answered, “You have a demon! Who seeks to kill You?”
Hi! If you'd like to, I'll put together a discord server as a way to talk to people without judgement, to find friends and try to expose yourself to new people gradually. You can choose to have camera or not, your real name or not, just listen to other people talking and chime in when comfortable or just stick to the chat. I will create the server out of you guys's wishes and needs. DM me on discord if you'd like to join the server at eviii$4731 ❤
I used to be like this, i was completely alone, no friends, i didn't talk at all, people thought i was mute, but my life took a drastic change when i started confronting everything that made me feel unconfortable and bad. I got better at my social skills recently, as a 24 years old, i'm doing better than i ever imagine i could do, because when i was at the bad times i always faced my social anxiety head on, like, if i had fear to talk to a group of persons, i would do it anyway, if i felt bad surrounded by a large concentration of people, i would stay anyway, these are little exemples to show that i would always put myself on the worse situations possible, and thats what helped the most, that and starting at the gym, today i can't even tell i once had social anxiety.
Wow I've never heard this before it's perfect. Makes complete sense to me. I developed anxiety when I was hanging around with horrible people. Thanks so much for commenting this.
felt this especially. i wanna party and hang out in big crowds and go to raves but my introverted self is too shy to let loose and fully enjoy moments like these even when i make an attempt.
@Κωνσταντίνος ΉπΜκ introvert just means u get energy from being alone. eg if there is a task, introverts usually like to work out how to do it alone, while extroverts would rather work it out in a group. u can still want to be a so called extrovert or cool kid going to parties hooking up with hot chicks lol. introvert dont mean u want to be 40 year old virgin living in your mums basement playing counter strike. ive always been introvert, but played in footy team, done boxing, going out partying, have gfs. but i physically cant socialise like everyday for week, because it will be too draining, i need some alone time to charge batteries and reflect. same way an extrovert would really struggle not to socialise for everyday for a week.
@Κωνσταντίνος ΉπΜκ I'm sure an introvert also likes to have some friends they socialize with once in a while. Which is what i believe he meant in that way
@Κωνσταντίνος ΉπΜκ you was implying that someone who wants to rave and be in big crowds cant be an introvert and must be a shy extrovert. im just letting you know that is incorrect!!!!
The problem is that nowadays people get "associates" and "friends" mixed up a lot. You're lucky if you get one friend throughout your lifetime, and that's normal.
That's the truth, I have plenty of acquaintances, but there's one person I could call at 3 in the morning and tell him my car is broken down 50 miles from his house, he will show up with his tool box. I would do the same for him. That's a friend .
This popped up today and it interested me because I have a son who has expressed similar feelings. This is 3 years after you originally posted this, so I hope this finds you doing well. I too had the "rush" you talked about with social anxiety. I also felt isolated. I also had OCD. I was full of fear and anxiety. I never took any medication, but I heard Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says: "Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened. I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle in heart and you will find rest for your souls." THAT was what I needed...rest. I decided to follow Jesus, started by reading the book of John to learn about Jesus... and He healed and transformed me, my mind. (not like a magic button, but surely and slowly over time.) It is His love. I no longer am afraid of people, a slave to people. I am free. My social anxiety days...were many decades ago. So many doors opened when I became free. Just wanted to share that with you. Life is fun when we're not in that bondage. I used to drink to be able to connect with people. I haven't drank in forever. Well.. you seem like a really nice person. And don't let the "stigma" of no friends bring you down. I used to hang on to people because of that. I would have been better off with maybe one really good friend. Today, I'm married with three kids. Jesus is still my best friend :) Take care!
I wish it had been that like for me. I've read the entire Bible but I'm still socially anxious. Maybe it helps in an abstract, bigger picture kind of way, but not in the moment.
Seems like a lot of us feel like it’s a coincidence that this video has reached us, but the fact this video is blowing up at the moment suggests that this is quite a widespread issue...
I definitely agree with that! Especially now, a lot of people are having to get used to being alone and away from those who they are closed to. There are also those who are used to being alone and comfortable with their own space.
I'm in my early 30's and don't have friends. I have no problems socializing and have been told I'm a conversationalist, but at the end of the day, there's no real connection. Now that I'm older, I'm okay with it and don't take it personally. I understand that I'm different, it's the kind of world we live in, and that I'm not the only one experiencing this phenomenon. I appreciate my energy, my space and time, and if one day I'm truly able to create authentic connections I will appreciate those moments even more.
right well as I have heard before "before you diagnose yourself as depressed/anxious etc... make sure that you are not actually in fact just surrounded by ass**les" LOL I just genuinely don't find most people interesting. I don't find them disgusting or anything bad... I just don't care to have any more intimacy than what is required. I have a handful of good friends and a couple handfuls of acquaintances and I am cool with that.
I'm 41 and have no friends. Most my life I've had no friends, friends are over rated. Don't lose sleep over it, it's actually freeing and peaceful to do everything by yourself. Much love to you my man
@Harishan Veerangan it's alright for the most part. I am on medication for depression, going on 3 decades now. I would say for the most part I am content, not happy, but content. I do get sad alot, but it's something I have accepted a long time ago, I don't even try anymore to "fit in" I gave that up as soon as I graduated high school. I think some people are born to be loners. It does suck, but the irony of it is, the thought of going out and socializing is draining to me. I can socialize when I need to, like at work, but deep down I don't enjoy it. I have accepted that I am different. I am the black sheep of the family. I've never quite fit in anywhere. I'm not ugly, but not a super model, not super smart, but not dumb. I am just this average lonely girl who tries everyday just to "make it thru" I am very religious and believe in the bible, so, this may sound morbid, but, I've always looked forward to death. I know once my physical body gives out my spirit can finally find peace. Pure, blissful, perfect peace.
Dude, I was right there at that same age. The only way I was able to help myself was with the help of a really great psychologist. I’m doing much better now but still not out of the woods and I don’t think we’ll ever be. I can def function better now in social situation to the degree where it’s almost normal. But what you said was almost exactly what I went through. So glad that you shared this. You’re def not alone and I wish you all the luck in the world in getting over your SA.
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.” - Robin Williams
I remember reading this quote a few years ago, as I read about how the actor R.W. died...and I remember how I agreed with his quote. As soon as I agreed with it, a cloud of depression came over me strongly. For 2-3 days straight I had negative, lonely, selfish thoughts that I was misunderstood, etc. At one point, I got triggered by anger and left the house for a drive. When i left home in the car, all of a sudden I realized what triggered it. I had simply agreed with a brilliant, but pessimistic quote! So I snapped out of it and returned home to my husband and kids. I think many of us are lonely. Plus, there is that void that no human can fill, that loneliness that a human can't satisfy. It hurts the nost when our loved ones seem to misunderstand us. But I try to remember that those most hurting might be the ones that lash out at others. With God's help, when I get hurt now - I try to retreat for a little to calm down. Then I make a choice swallow the pain. If it's not possible to make a person understsnd and listen to me - I don't say anything to them. This person may never change - but I can! I can learn to give grace. It's not our job to change them, right? People surrounding us need us to love them and just let them be. Even "toxic" people. Punishing them just makes us toxic!
Hey, you’re not alone! I’m 22 and I have no friends. I haven’t had any real friendship connections ever since I was 16. And when you’ve been alone for such a long time, every time you try to reach out to people it gets a little harder. At this point I don’t even know what to do anymore. I’ve given up, if being alone is my destiny, then so be it :( I keep trying to go out and meet new people but all it does is leave me with a bunch of quick, meaningless interactions, which just feels draining.
Exactly, I'm already kinda preparing myself to be an elder orphan. I'm stacking my retirement savings aggressively because I have no kids, wife/gf, or friends to spend my disposable income on. I know I'll have to get my affairs in order myself.
@@faw3162 I feel you! But at this point, I feel like life without anyone but myself just feels empty. It's so weird because I have been taking good care of myself this year: going to the gym, losing weight, spending money on beauty products, reading books, educating myself etc. etc. ... I thought that would make me happy but now I feel even more depressed and drained. I've got all of these superficial things that I did'nt have before and I am also working on myself and my attitude constantly but I still feel like nothing has changed inside of me. I'm lucky to have a good family that I deeply love but other than that I don't have much of a social life.. my next project will be to build a business and to have a career that I can invest in. I try to go out and meet new people at events but it always leads to interactions and acquaintances that are merely superficial. Wishing you lots of luck tho! I hope things will work out well for you :) At least you have the financial freedom and the independence that many people are longing for, which is great! I'm trying to get there too. (Sorry for any mistakes, I'm not a native speaker.)
@@rethgual8227 I can relate. I'm 20 and I have never had real friends. I don't think I can handle an entire life without people that care about me. I don't think I'll pass 30 if life continues to be so hard.
@@danie3787 I feel you, it's hard.. I haven't figured out how to overcome this feeling yet, but I know that it must be possible. It helps to know that there are people out there who experience similar situations, we are not alone! I think it's incredibly hard, but we have to learn to find value in ourselves, in our own presence and to not be dependent on other people. The right people will come at the right time. With that being said, I know how it feels to wait, wait, wait for something to change .. be motivated and yet things still stay the same :( it sucks.. but I'm still trying to be optimistic about it. Don't give up!
Honestly that's something I realized as I've gotten older. More people are awkward and have social anxiety than you think. When you stop trying to make yourself perfect and stop overthinking the better off you'll be. It's just putting yourself out there more. Sure it'll be hard at first, but it gets better and it's nice when you're comfortable enough to be with people who actually care about you.
Hi! If you'd like to, I'll put together a discord server as a way to talk to people without judgement, to find friends and try to expose yourself to new people gradually. You can choose to have camera or not, your real name or not, just listen to other people talking and chime in when comfortable or just stick to the chat. I will create the server out of you guys's wishes and needs. DM me on discord if you'd like to join the server at eviii$4731 ❤
All the girls at work are going out for a girls trip and no one invited me. I overheard 3 of the girls talking and one asked if I was invited. The room was silent and then they just burst out laughing. I talk and laugh with these ppl everyday and this is how they truly feel about me.
Kinda feel the same way, like, were on the same team, same table, i was right in front of them, one person invited everyone except me. I just learn not to care anymore
I'm 21 right now, a junior in college experiencing the exact same thing. literally searched "I have no friends" on the yt search bar. This video gave me comfort knowing that I'm not alone going through this. Thanks, Ben.
I'm planning on starting a type of conversation therapy on UA-cam where I have talks with any of you who is interested. It's a theory I have based on languages, which I believe changes perspective on things. If you are interested in trying, let me know, I'm thinking of only doing the audio, but if you want to appear on video, I can include you. Answer me and we'll set this up, I'm looking forward to this It will be interesting for the listener, good for you to feel better and for me to further develop this idea
This will probably go unread because this video was posted so long ago, but to anyone suffering from social anxiety, I really feel that the solution lies within ourselves and not necessarily within western medication. If you can take the time to meditate, to kind of separate yourself from your thoughts and your emotions, you’ll eventually be able to see that your anxieties and fears are as much a part of you as everything else that you feel. You may be broken, but that’s okay. You don’t need to “fix” yourself, you need to accept yourself, come to an understanding with yourself, and treat yourself like you would treat a best friend. The first step is taking a step back.
Absolutely. Ive noticed that a lot of people unfortunately are not educated enough on the bigger picture and just fall for what the pharma industry wants the most : getting you hooked on some sort of pills. of course there will always be complex cases where these medications can offer a certain stability , but that just really depends on the person. but theres so many people who dont really try to find answers in themselves , and they never concider taking a more spiritual or philosophical approach to all of this. too many people here in germany think you just gotta find the right antidepressant that works for you ,and then youre all set, but dont realize that they are just running in circles trying to find a perfect magic pill to fix their issues. all these pills have some sort of bad side effects. but this is why i agree with you: medicine will not fix the root issue. you have to go within. create your own world. develope independence. and then other people can be a beatiful extension of that world.
I tried to quit smoking 20 years ago and was given Wellbutrin to help. It made everything worse, I felt like a maniac coming out of my skin. I went from a half of a pack of cigarettes to over a full pack in a matter of two weeks.. I just felt overly hostile and mean, like nicotine withdrawals amplifed times ten. It's funny the commercials will say those drugs can increase mania symptoms and suicidal thoughts in some people.. but when you tell a doctor about bad side effects they'll blow you off and tell you that you need to give it time to work and get a consistent blood level of it built up in your system over several months. By then several months may be too late for some people. Doctors are or have been very negligent in that regard. They might miss out on a drug kickback or some free all expenses paid seminar/vacation somewhere to speak at an mental health event.
I am a therapist and you are exactly correct, social anxiety is in the most simplest terms a lack of self love, self knowledge and some form of self rejection. The antidote is about changing the relationship with self which changes the external experience of reality we experience.
I honestly disagree . Social need is so important to human beings. I would say it comes directly after food, shelter and water. People take social lives for granted and I see a lot of people in their early 20s ending best friendships and friendships over small slights/arguments/misunderstandings and falling outs and just not realizing how vital those relationships are and that they arent going to be able to pick up new friends from the supermarket. Once you finish college and hit mid-late twenties it becomes incredibly difficult to find and make new friends. I lost my best friend at 23 and I literally never found another one. I never ever thought that would happen.
@@beepbeep9043 Very insightful. I've personally ended ties with most my friends over the last two years. I am 24yrs old I am definitely not seeing any new friends as of yet at least. I know what you mean, one does not simply pick up a new friend out of no where but I feel it was neccessary for me. People I've ended ties with have been one sided friendship. Ive witness envy against personal growth which hurts alot. A Social life is important but with the wrong type of people it's more draining rather than a feeling of fufillment.
@@guillotine_cut yeah absolutely I would rather have no friends than a bunch of fake friends I completely agree. Feeling grateful that you can finally breathe and not have to be a mule for everybody is the greatest feeling one can find besides love. But chasing love can lead to quicksand, so self-love is a great tied for first :)
@@romas4322 being introvert is not that bad, is it?! It has its brightside as well. Most of the time, I love being an introvert, enjoy having no friends enjoy silence and looneliness😇
You're an introvert. I am too. I'm a loner but I've come to accept that. Usually anxieties go hand in hand with introversion. I struggle in social situations, I need to really think about what I'm going to say..I can't be pushed into giving quick responses. I'm so so bad during job interviews I have severe panic attacks before and during .I just fail them every time.. because in an interview you have to sell yourself and I just go completely blank. I feel it just before it happens and it does every time. I'm ok with genuine, real, gentle souls . But I still to this day have no friends.. and I'm 48.. Haven't had a friend since I was 15
I just cut off the last good friend that I had because I was really unhappy with how in our friendship I could give her a list emotional support but when it came time for me to talk about my problems she would show zero empathy or sympathy and at the end of the day isn’t that the only reason we really have friends? So I decided to end the friendship and just struggling a bit with feeling like now I’m not gonna have any friends. I’m also introverted with anxiety and social situations and I’m also sober so I can’t go and have a drink and make friends like I used to. But reading your comment didn’t make me feel a little bit better than at least I’m not alone and it is what it is. I can still live my life as you have lived yours.
@@crazygoodtherapy9614 Hi, Just read your comment. I guess it all comes down to accepting what is and enjoying what you do love..I have no friends but I'm not sad about that because I am a natural born lonner I think. I enjoy my passions in life. I'm just upset and frustrated with my anxiety over specific situations , like job interviews because they cause such uncontrollable panic attacks, so I'd never pass that stage, and let's face it, no interviewer, I believe, would look past that and give me a chance based on what my cover letter or application says, because I am a very hard worker, reliable and honest.. And yet because of my panic I'm totally overlooked as being incompetent. There is a job going that I want so desperately to apply for with my local council its only 6.2 house per day, 5 days per week, at $35 per hour and it's permanent .. and I'm freaking out at just filling in details to apply for it, my heart just races and the anxiety kicks in, so that I'm restless, with " What ifs " constantly in my head.. It's so horrible.
@@fleurlewis That sounds like a great job for you if you are interested in it. I think many people get nervous whether they have anxieties or introversion in job interviews. I know I always get super nervous in job interviews but the one thing that does help me prepare is to smile and try to look positive and prepare some positive sounding answers for every question that they may ask. I wish you all the best in applying and please do apply you never know what may happen.
@@crazygoodtherapy9614 thanks.. But I actually go blank and can't answer questions...my anxiety is more than just nervous, . I've literally starting shaking, I blank out and even cry during then because it's just so overwhelming.
As someone who struggled a lot with crippling social anxiety I've discovered that I'm mostly like on the Autism spectrum...I'm going to look into it further but for anyone else out there who haven't ever felt "right" or "normal" this might be something to look into :)
I get you. It sucks sometimes you see someone that seems like you could be really good friends with and then you finally get the courage to say something and they turn out to not be what you expected and it’s like damn let me go back to my lonely corner real quick
Appreciate you being brave enough to speak on your situation and sharing with us! It’s not easy at all having social anxiety but know while you are alone, you’re not alone. We are a very common people and we’re beautiful just the way we are ❤️
i think it's really important to learn that you CAN live without friends if there comes a point where someone leaves or you get dragged into a toxic friendship, but also it's important to keep a small circle of friends who make u happy. i think it's a bad idea to have a huge circle of a lot of friends because you're bound to have a lot of problems
Comming from a 24yo Male. My experience with mental health issues, I find when it comes to socialising and anxiety it needs to be treated like a muscle. You need to exercise it, make it uncomfortable for it to grow. As strange as it might feel when you have been a recluse for years trying to socialise it only gets easier with practice. I went 2 years without socialising outside of close family and work. I started studying recently and have made a concious effort to make conversation with others in my class. It was so damn uncomfortable in the beginning but I've made friends and it has grown me as a person so much. Dont give up my dude. Persistence is key
Its not as easy as your making it sound for some its true isolation im 28 and i have a 7 yr old with nonverbal autism I have been almost completly alone without any real contact with anti e for about 4 yrs its overwhelming and then your alone with your own thoughts which is worse than being around strangers my family doesnt really reach out because I think they dont oniw me anymore and my daughter is ya rd to do things even like family gatherings because even tho I'm there in chasing her around and micro managing her because I have to so I miss out anyway I literally watch my giant fun family take trips and have these huge family pictures on a beach or canoeing down a river or all them at thr kids birthday party together and they love me its just I think they just unintentionally have forgotten about me i work at a scale house i am alone in a building all day then i go home and sit in my house alone with my daughter and watch the world from the outside and it makea me sad but i can't just exercise my socializing because its to where i have no one to even reach out to and I'll tell myself once in awhile enough is enough and get dressed and do my hair makeup or just put a little more effort in telling myself to go by this person I havemt talked to in ages or swing by your uncle's its Friday you know that everyone is probably there having some drinks and food sitting outside joking and talking and either three things happen I do it and my daughter has a meltdown which is hard to handle it makes me feel like we are ruining everyone's evening or I get in the car and drive by and let myself get into my thoughts of negativity and tell myself they dont call or invite so why would they want us to just show up and I go back home or I do t even get past anxiousness to even go anywhere only to get back 8nto lounge cloths and think to myself wth are you thinking it's shitty and i dont know how to start when there is no where to even statt
It’s amazing that you made such progress and I think you should be proud of yourself. And you’re right, a big part of success is practice but also mindset. When you think everybody hates you and your self-esteem is beyond awful, you’ll most probably make no progress.
@@myrtila I agree mindset plays a massive role. I found when I started drilling the idea in me that nobody actually gives a shit that helped my anxiety massively.
The crazy thing about having social anxiety, being quiet and introverted is that you'll never be able to be friends with someone else who is like you because you always need the other person to engage you first and these type of people are extroverted and confident.
Yes! I almost depend on the other person’s energy to get me going, and then I can be fine.. but if I’m with another quiet person, we can be quiet together for days 😂😂
weird bc this happens to me too but im extroverted! when im with other extroverted and outgoing people i get really uncomfortable but i feel very comfortable with talking to introverted people, and most of my friends are introverts lol
introvert and extrovert terms are not as simple. There are many kinds. There are passive extroverts and social introverts. I am an introvert and can socialize but I need to recharge for days after. I can totally be quiet with someone for days though. There are extroverts who would seem quiet and chill but can switch on full mode at any moment no need to recharge.
Dude I don't even care anymore. Seriously, I've tried therapy, medication, even yoga but I'm just gonna have to accept the fact that I'm a socially awkward emotionless robot who's gonna die alone. I'm 25 as well and it just hits hard that no one wants to understand how I feel. Everyone, even my own family tells me I have to open up more. Well what do you want me to do, talk to every random person on the street just to get a cold shoulder? It's hard man. Especially during this pandemic. Like, I see more people in relationships now than ever before. It just makes me feel even worse about myself. But it's cool. I've been here this long so I may as well keep grinding through life. Sorry if I wrote too much lol. I just needed to vent.
Thanks fam. I did manage to get a job at a restaurant so I'm just gonna try to take it one step at a time from greeting other people to very general small talk to hopefully getting to the point where my coworkers are comfortable with me and I'm comfortable with them. It's sad for me to say but I actually have a handbook where I've jotted down conversation starters. I know, it's that bad lol
@@yung_Latios let everything come naturally, some of my closest friends are those who chose to stick around and put up with me despite my flaws , no one is perfect 😉
Thanks so much I'll do my best. What I'm hoping that won't happen is if everyone there will start gossiping about me being that quiet guy and treating me differently. That's the main problem I've had all my life. I just can't be someone I'm not and my personality is generally quiet and laid back. I can start a conversation but I can't really keep it going unless it's based around my interests.
I always try to be good but people always want to use me as if I was dumb, and whenever I fight back they get mad and outcast me, they always expect you to be nice.
Your not alone Ben! Definitely a problem in modern society with social media and a growing dependence on virtual communication as a whole. Good luck on your growth mate, you can do it!
I can relate. I grew up in a narcissistic family that judged, talked behind others backs, were fake to their faces, manipulative, etc... I avoid interactions with others bc i don’t want to be judged or treated like my family treated others.
Same here!! My family is so judgemental and self-centered that I hardly go around anymore. Now that I'm dating someone new his family reminds me so much of my family that I hardly give them conversations.
Social anxiety can stem from excessive porn/masturbation useage, excessive social media usage, excessive drug usage (including marijuana), excessive unhealthy eating.
@@CruzWithMe but if someone hypothetically stops doing that altogether, then where can they go? What makes an anxious person feel good and safe? Who can distract the stress? Socially anxiuos people mostly do not have a safe at home relationships...
thank you! i just made a comment about how family is what keeps you going when you dont have any friends. try getting in contact more with your cousins, doesnt matter if they are your 1st, 2nd, or 3rd cousins.. as long as your family is connected and you all know eachother then they can help you.
I'm basically in your same boat Victor. Friendless since 18, only I'm a few years younger than you, so I am seventeen years in. It sucks for so many years, then at a certain point you just become so used to being alone that you can't accept anyone in your life even if they tried to invite themselves in.
That's me. We had two groups in class. But coming from a school where there was no groupism at all, I could not adjust to it. I was in good company with both the groups, and tried to be the friendly guy. But in the end, the groups never united and I was alone. And the fact that I wasn't 100 percent into any of these groups also meant that none of them have contact with me now, because they didn't count me as a friend at all. Ahh...big mistake.
Same I know so many people and are cool with both groups but I never really fit in for some reason. And it’s crazy how many people know me and only like one or two have texted me to check up on me during quarantine lol. But it’s whatever.
For real! I think it's a trust issue for me. I don't know, but it's EXTREMELY hard for me to have a bunch of friends I constantly have fun with. It's never happened for me like others. I've hung out with friends and did stuff but it was very short lived and I had to force it.
I’m 25 in may and I don’t have friends either, I talk to some people at work that I like but I can’t ever follow through with making plans. I want friends, I want to hang out but I also want to stay in my room all day. I always get jealous of large groups of friends, I wonder what it must be like to depend on so many people and to laugh with so many and to well to be liked by so many in general. I don’t have hobbies that would involve someone joining me, I get sad about it but I also know I’m the problem. It doesn’t help when you push everyone away who does get close.
Yes! Literally me. Do you also feel uncomfortable with inviting people around to your home? Because I do. Reason being that I feel as though it makes me feel vulnerable in a sense. It's strange because I'm an athlete who is always taking part in social events, but haven't a single TRUE friend, only associates.
I'm a Taurus too, maybe there's some truth to this star sign bizzle...🤣 I should also mention that's it's probably my fault I have no friends, as I'm a very skeptical person! I don't trust anyone until given a reason to. I've had a difficult life, and it's opened my eyes to how Self Centred, and Careless people (even friends) can be.
Yes girl same. I’ve always wanted a huge group of friends and for people to blow up my phone with plans every weekend. I never had that, maybe a friend here or there but they were super social so I distanced myself from them. It seems so simple, to just make friends but In our heads it’s impossible. Isolation is my friend. Movies. Sleep. UA-cam. Overthinking. You’re not alone. And I support you! 💕
Dude I struggle with social anxiety BIG TIME! Your video has been so enlightening and educating and I don't feel as alone anymore. Also 25, so maybe its an age thing. haha. I hope things for you took a turn in the right direction! Love you man!
bro, you answered your own dilemma. You said you want to help people, and your whole expression changed and you became visibly happy when you said it. Start helping people and you will feel better and start making connections with others
How I beat my social anxiety? Exposure therapy. I meet different people each week. Exposure therapy gives you practice. If you do it long enough it becomes second nature. For courage before a meeting, I listen to music that hypes me up. I also take a natural emotions stabilizer. I also hype myself up by telling myself that EVERYONE is weird in their own way. There is nothing wrong with you. You are 23, get onto those dating apps and meet people every week!
Such truth. The more you apply yourself the more natural it becomes , even if your acting. Mel Gibson is a fine example of a man with social anxiety and has become successful .
Very true!! My job forced me to practice small talk, socializing and connecting and now I’m very good at socializing but growing up I was very shy and had social anxiety. Practice and exposure therapy really does wonders. We have to make ourselves uncomfortable if we want change.
Realizing that I had a problem made the problem worse for me too. Now I think about my social anxiety constantly throughout the day and it makes both the anxiety and my depression worse.
You're clearly lacking love if that's the perspective u hold on life, free yourself change you're life style, u are just probably attracting people like yourself.... Soo u must not truly love youreself if u can't love others unconditionaly
Or stay down buddy choice is youres but no one really wants to see negative comments like this, the only negativity you're seeing in life is probably all within you're self, so either stay down and shut up, or change you're life style and see life for it's true beauty
@@pattyverward1201 It absolutely does, narcissists tend to view society in a very judgemental way. Sure, that behavior is not solely related to narcissism but to say it has nothing to do with? You're beyond wrong.
It sucks being known as the guy who doesn’t talk at work, because people gossip like little girls and tell every new employee before they even meet you that you are quiet, so everyone is automatically uncomfortable around me because they don’t know how to interact with me knowing I’m hard to talk to. And then talkative people have the audacity to get upset at me for not initiating conversation even though it flows from them easily. Honestly I think a lot of people are intimidated by shy socially awkward people, and part of it has to do with the media representing us as killers or crazy people or slow in the head. I have had on several occasions coworkers admitting that I’m scary or they think it’s weird that I’m quiet. I’m 24, almost 25, I have been dealing with that shit for 7 or 8 years now, I have given up on friends. My girlfriend is enough, I have my own life I want to make, and if there is someone who becomes my friend along the way so be it.
It’s crazy, I’m shy as hell too at work. Ended up getting close with my boss after like a year, she told me that the whole time she thought I was a “stuck up privileged kid”. When I am actually the exact opposite... it blew my mind that her perception of me for a whole year was so far off!!!! Imagine how often that happens
I also had some people who had told me that I'm weird or they are wondering if I want to kill them. It hurts that people think you're a psycho only because your shy and quiet
I'm planning on starting a type of conversation therapy on UA-cam where I have talks with any of you who is interested. It's a theory I have based on languages, which I believe changes perspective on things. If you are interested in trying, let me know, I'm thinking of only doing the audio, but if you want to appear on video, I can include you. Answer me and we'll set this up, I'm looking forward to this It will be interesting for the listener, good for you to feel better and for me to further develop this idea
It's like rehearsal every day, preparing for nothing. Which increases anxiety and you will definitely fail. Thank you for expressing your self. I go through the same, I tend to tell it to $#&* off.
I don’t know if you’re going to read this but I’m 24 and suffer from social anxiety as well. I’m on the road to getting better.I’ve never been on medication, what has helped me a lot is pure therapy. My therapist has taught me a lot about anxiety, where it comes from, why I have it, why I think and act the way I do, and what to do when I experience social anxiety. Once I learned all that, I’m more aware of it and can make some changes on my every day life. I’m sending you all the best wishes and hope it gets better soon. You’re not alone! :)
You'll probably never read this comment, but let me tell you something. The older you get, you'll realize that if you have even one true friend, you are very lucky. Everyone else is just an acquaintance. Focus on building your life and career. The rest will fall into place.
Was going to say something similar, im 40 and last time i had 'friends' was 20 years ago and was gonna say people just become acquaintances or collegues.
I am 29 turning 30 this year. I didnt understand why some of my close friends that I have had for years started to become distant. For a while I was sad but I quickly realized that people change and life changes and along with it people will drift away. I cherish the close friends I have in this stage of my life because they have been at my side at my worst and at my best.
I want to interject here. “Things” fall into place but relationships don’t just “fall into place”-intentionality does matter. Forcing something is different but, definitely intentionality is key in BUILDING anything. Be you! Be true! But be brave and intentional
I have social anxiety and things I have found that make it worse are negative self talk and comparing yourself to others. Things that have helped are finding hobbies I enjoy and joining small groups. I'm also going to try microdosing with psilocybin.
I'm socially awkward, i spent so much time on my own that i forgot how to converse with people. I make inappropriate jokes and say edgy stuff thinking others will laugh but now i just keep quiet and use small answers.
No dont do that just beacuse you feel akward just be you. You will find someone that will laugh att your innapropriate edgy jokes. I have one friend like this and i just love her and i just take others for what they are..and i laugh to bad jokes or at jokes that People dont. 🤣 love it so dont stop find your People.
Yep. The *worst* thing to DO is to 'Try to be funny' . 'Trying' just makes 'Bad' jokes, people get 'annoyed' , 'Bored', 'Sick of his wise ass bull, Maybe he's 'Targeting ME'...Bam, Boing, Bam. I 'Still' do that, most is just *Not fen Funny* so, therefore, IT is 'Annoying' even 'Maddening' to some.
Thanks for sharing from a mother who has been dealing with this with my son since he was 17 and is now almost 21. The way you explained this really helped me to understand him better and how he is feeling as he dosent say much to me. He has started slowly getting out, exercising which I can see is making a differnce. Wishing you good luck in your endeavour to overcome this and I truly believe you will, XX
Same 22, and I realized all my “friends” were one sided relationships. They kept me close, because I was the only one who was responsible/smart. Aside from my 3 close cousins mom, sister, and dad
I'm 40 and have zero friends. People are fake AF and most people just disappoint me anyway, so in turn I'm a lone wolf and I don't care I actually feel better being by myself.
I’m 23 and I feel like I don’t have friends either. I know a lot of people but I don’t feel like they are friends. No one messages me first to talk or hang out it’s always me. I’m so done putting more effort than everyone to become friends. I always wished I had a big group of friends. Oh well I always have me, myself & I
Listening to you talk about not having close friends at 25 made me feel so sad. You are a beautiful person and feel like hugging you and tell you things will get better. You just need to slowly push yourself to go out and be more socialable. It is hard but i think things will work out for you. Good things do happen to good people. It will happen!!!!
I couldn’t even talk for 14 minutes into a camera and post it online, I have no pictures of myself on any social media and always feel like when I talk to people I come across in a way that’s wrong, I can’t even type this properly like how it is in my head
I understand, you seem to over-analyze yourself just like I do when it comes to myself. I do it when I talk, draw, sing- just about everything. And then I wondered, why do I only do this to myself and never anybody else? Not that I want to do this to anybody else. But the point is why am I critiquing myself so badly?
I know this feeling all to well I refuse to use social media tbh and I always feel like when I try to talk to someone even by just saying hello to themnthst ive somehow managed to rub them the wrong way it makes me feel like a freak
With my social anxiety, I feel like I'm in my head so much like it's my own world, and when it comes to socializing it's a different world or a different reality where I'm a foreigner. It's like I've been thrown onto a different planet and am just trying to study the ways of these creatures so I can fit in and get by just like anyone else. It's so exhausting.
I truly feel for you bro because I go through the same thing. I would consider you a friend and a brother. One thing that always held me back socially, and it is a symptom of ADHD, Asperger's and mild autism, is not picking up on social cues as well as the emotional temperature of a room or situation. Without realizing it on a very conscious level, I would isolate myself from people because they were acting cagey and distancing themselves from me. The pain from being estranged has lasting psychological effects. And this in turn can cause us to be more self-conscious and paranoid.
“Life doesn’t give you the people you want. It gives you the people you need; to help you, to hurt you, to love you, to leave you and to help you grow into the person you are meant to be.”
life doesn't give you shit. it doesn't even give you shit, literally. you have to make your own poop. sometimes you don't even get what you need. suicide is a reality in the world, among other things.
@@Fernandez218 I like your mentality, carve your own life by your own design and the sweat from your brow you will create your destiny. Sounds like a fucking movie
it's normal human condition, life is just not fair, keep fighting bois, mine is getting better again because I fight and think I'm gonna die but I still go talk to people, hands shaking, almost falling over, keep jumping the cliff, that's how you treat it the best, you beat your fears, you fears get better, snakes, anxiety, horror games. If you do the thing, you are afraid of, you get rewarded and it get's better.
I feel your pain! People suck! Whenever someone wants to be my friend its more about what they can take and not about being an actual friend. Dont think I have any answers for you, but when I see you as a person, I'm a little surprised you are having this problem.
I'm in my 40s and have been plagued with social anxiety since jr high school. I was called loner and ugly every day. I sat by myself at lunch time. My older brother was dying from cancer and I didn't know how to cope with it. I didn't talk about it with anyone and after he died, I became numb and distant. I was able to move forward later in life, but being picked on in school made me paranoid that people were secretly laughing at me. I was advised to seek help and get on meds, but I didn't want to so I started forcing myself to go out and would have to give myself pep talks in my head the whole time. I realized I was going to be ok and embarrassment was inevitable from time to time because I'm human and make mistakes, but it's not the end of the world if it happens. I hope things are getting better for you. It really is a mind thing mostly. If you can get in the habit of reassuring yourself you will be ok, it will get better.
@@lisarussell8874 thank you, I appreciate that 😊. It's sad that things happen in our lives that steal our joy. I see this young guy in this video and so many others that are trying to navigate life with anxiety, and I feel it. I know that pit in the stomach feeling that hits out of nowhere and feels out of control. It feels like you're defective and people that don't have it, say insensitive things that make you feel alone. It's nice to know that there are people that understand and relate, less lonely.
As someone who's about to hit 25 this Thursday, I totally understand what you're going through. The main thing I wanna say is this: I feel like alot of 20 something year olds feel this. And its only natural. People act like your 20s are this amazing, free, liberating time. What older folk never talk about is how hard it is making friends after leaving school. I've lost plenty of friends from nothing more than circumstance: people move, find jobs, new relationships, etc and drift away. We're expected to move out, find out passions and careers, find love, make tons of friends, etc. There's a shit ton of pressure to be successful and become "an adult" and to feel guilty that you're "wasting" time. It's not you that's broken or wrong, its society and its expectations. Focus on the positives. If you have a car and can find employment, you're already ahead of the curve honestly. Set goals (both easy short term ones and longer term ones too) and ignore everything else. Use this time to improve yourself and new friends will eventually come. You never think you will be able to make a friend or even know how to, until you do. It's literally biology, humans like to connect. The fact serial killers have fan clubs means there's plenty of people in the world who don't give a shit about your past. That being said, nothing I have said is new or unheard of. It's probably all things you've thought about before. My only real advice is that you can't let your anxiety and lack of friends become an excuse. I've seen so many people let their initial depression/anxiety/troubles bubble over and continually use it as a crutch to withdraw further and further. Don't let these feelings control you. Acknowledge them, understand them. But the light will appear at the end of the tunnel. I've battled anxiety and depression since my early 20s. I'm almost 25 and about to earn my Associate's degree. Most of my peers/friends have long since graduated and are starting their careers and lives. I feel embarrassed about that alot, but I'm figuring out my life and battling my demons while I do. It's not easy (I just had a meltdown the other day) but you begin to realize the good days outnumber the bad. Now comes the scary part: becoming a normal human again. I still have plenty of anxiety but its reasonable anxiety rather than being irrational. It still makes me wanna panic and bolt and dumps a ton of adrenaline into me, but I just tell myself that its normal and I don't need to be so panicky, just a manageable amount. But I'm realizing I'm rambling and that this is more of an encouragement but hang in dude! I always told myself that in the future, we gonna look back at moments like this and laugh. It's these experiences that help us become adults and keep us humble. Do yourself a favor and figure out to heal your soul. Listen to music, create art, go on walks, volunteer! Use this crisis as an opportunity to get to know yourself and the importance of mental health and support systems/coping skills! Good luck brother!
Thank you so much for the advice even tho it wasn’t exactly directed towards me. I’m 18 and is graduating high school this may. I don’t exactly have a “friend group”, i’m that guy thats cool with anyone that shares similar interests as me. I used to be an extrovert when i was young but starting middle school up to high school, i was getting more introverted, shy, somehow developed social anxiety( maybe it was depression, i didn’t want to diagnose myself) i used to love doing things but gotten tired and less motivated to go out, try in sports, etc. I don’t exactly know what to major yet in college or what career i want bc of the many dozens of life factors that are in. I have this anxious feeling that i will not be able to talk to my friends anymore since they have started to work on their own path, (which i respect). We went into quarantine last march and now my whole senior year has been online. Any advice or ideas could you give me?
Thanks so much for sharing all of this!! It's so wholesome, wise, and I needed it a lot... Seeing it has made me feel like I am seeing things so much clearer. It is beautiful
@@urekmazino2047 First off: Realize that COVID really sucks for certain demographics: little kids in elementary school, upperclassmen in HS, and underclassmen in college. Those are really important, formative years and you guys especially are getting the short end of the stick. That being said, I’m really hesitant to give life advice over the internet because I don’t know your circumstances. I specifically wrote my original post to be rather broad and open because of the fact I’m no expert nor do I know anyone’s story. That being said I will say that we tend to treat high school to college as a pipeline. If I redid things, I would have definitely taken a gap year just to live life a bit. At that age, we’re still incredibly young and inexperienced, we just haven’t seen enough of life yet or met/talked with enough strangers. Work a minimum wage shitty job! Use it to motivate you to do better both in goals and in life. Use the opportunity to learn things about yourself and people in general. (If you ever worked a customer service type job, you’ll walk away with some good life skills: patience, professionalism, politeness, etc) Volunteer! You’re young and literally useful for countless things. Volunteer for a relative or a family friend, to help with chores or projects. Try and help your community in a tangible way. But most importantly, strive to understand your tendencies, your weaknesses, your strengths. For instance I know I have inherited anger management issues from my father. I therefore try to always keep cool and deliberately force myself to understand the person I’m angry at. I know I’ll naturally find a million reasons to be upset, which is why it’s so much more important for me to find reasons not to be upset. In concert with the above, interact with people outside your bubble. As humans, we tend to surround ourselves with likeminded people. As a rule of thumb, that’s a bad idea. Social media and quarantine have made those bubbles even smaller and worse. Talk to older adults (if you know anyone elderly, straight up ask em, what would you do if you were 18?) Babysit some children. Try and befriend folk who have opposite views from you. The more you interact with people, the more you’ll see and understand that despite what the media says and how we all feel, people are good at heart. I believe that. We all have moments when we fail and crack but all the more important to judge each other on our best moments, not the worst. Oh and don’t forget to just sit back and enjoy the roses and view sometimes. You’re young, don’t be afraid to be reckless sometimes and make memories. Life is too short and full of reasons to keep you down, not to seize those moments for you.
not even trying to act “sad,” but this hits way too close to home. this comment section just shows that you, me, or anyone aren’t the only people who go through this, and it isn’t just a tiny percentage of people. hopefully we can improve it, and it’s insane that you’re even THIS open about it. both motivational and inspirational.
@@rileydockery379 they aren’t! That is what works for them! It’s no different from someone telling someone to do deep breathing exercises or meditate! Sharing one’s experience, strength, hope and what works for them is called advice or help. Settle down with the anti God for like 2 seconds! Perhaps you should listen and not automatically shut it down🤷♀️
The prime time for people to cultivate deep and long lasting friendships is during high school and college. Once you enter the workforce and/or start a family, it becomes very difficult to make friends. There is nothing wrong with you. Between your career and family, you will have little time to cultivate new friendships outside of work. May be you can become friends with your next door neighbors, but thats about it. Don't be so hard on yourself.
I have social anxiety as well and it sucks when your in a room full of people and everyone is talking and visiting with each other and your just standing there alone and no one talks to you, it really gets you down. And it sucks when people don't understand social anxiety or anxiety in general.
Like he was talking about how he gets this rush of fear and he thinks people knows he is being socially anxious. You have to overcome that first initial rush and keep trying. Eventually you will learn more about yourself and how to communicate properly. I used to be the most outgoing kid you could meet then i started getting social anxiety as bad as it gets. Over the years ive learned to be more aware of it. Although im still not as outgoing as i once was, I am more comfortable with myself. When you are aware of it and dont allow it to control your actions you start to gain control over it. I promise you.
The hardest part is seeing relationships with close friends and family break down, like your so awkward around then it damages the relationship and the quality of conversations you have
@@iangpark I 100% get what you mean, when I'm tipsy I can talk and joke with anyone it feels so good, at one point I was drinking around half a bottle of rum a day if not more but I ruined my mental health even more. I barely drink these days unless I go out with friends but I feel my anxiety has got worse. I hope one day everyone here who struggles with anxiety figures out how to control it and find their true self. It feels horrible knowing I'm not even a shadow of my former confident self in school. Good luck to you on your journey and I wish you all the best with your mental health, thinks do get better and don't let anyone make you feel bad about your anxiety👍🏽
Congratulations, today’s your lucky day because I used to be the epitome of social anxiety. I blamed it on anything and everything, weed, alcohol, nicotine, my diet, my past, my school, my country, my place of work etc. in ultimate desperation to find the culprits. Doing so did not serve me what so ever. It bread resentment to everything and everyone around me. Do not do this. This is the solution. And I promise you that if you do this it will help IMMENSELY. Fears are funny in that they grow when we fold to them, when we give in to them, they get bigger, they get stronger and they get that much more powerful. From here on out you will take EVERY. SINGLE. OPPORTUNITY. To look your fears in the eyes. What does this mean you may ask (as it relates to social anxiety)? That means to put yourself in terrifying social situations over and over and over and over. An old friend calls and wants to hang out... naturally, your fucking terrified. Tough shit. You go and see that friend regardless of how you feel about it. You were awkward ? You were weird ? Perhaps you burned that bridge. BUT, you are now slightly (and I mean slightly) less afraid. Fucking awesome! Your doing great. Now wake up again and repeat for 6 months. Say yes to every single outing (especially those that you notice bread fear). You will slowly begin noticing that your social anxiety is disappearing. You will come to the realization that you are not on this earth to be a perfect people pleaser. You are on this earth to be YOU, fearful, flawed, unresolved, sad, happy, courageous YOU. Naturally, some days will be easier than others. Much MUCH easier. But the important thing is to keep on going and keep on looking and seeking out situations that make you fearful, and face them HEADON. I’m sorry your going through this. This probably isn’t 100% your fault, it is however 100% your responsibility to get over it for your friends, your family, and most importantly yourself. Hope this helps and have a great day. :)
May God bless you and be with you. I share this. John 14: 21 He who has My (Jesus) commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” 22 Judas (not Iscariot) *said to Him, “Lord, what then has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world?” 23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. 24 He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father’s who sent Me. John 21: 24 This is the disciple who is testifying to these things and wrote these things, and we know that his testimony is true. 25 And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they *were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself *would not contain the books that *would be written. John 7: 37 Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “[g]If anyone is thirsty, [h]let him come to Me and drink. 38 He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From [i]his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” 39 But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified. Where can one start reading The Bible? In The New Testament: The Gospel of John and/or Acts. about existence of God: ua-cam.com/video/BljrAME1LLw/v-deo.html ua-cam.com/video/7c9PaZzsqEg/v-deo.html about Scriptures, videos are in English: jezus.simplesite.com/435491565 Romans 6: 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
every single one of you. every. single. one. of you. are beautiful people inside and out. beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. to me, you are all beautiful humans. we, all of us, are in this together.
i think of it like this, we are given a disadvantage over most of the others in the world. yet here we are, in this together, now we know we are not alone, look how many of us share the same hell together. knowing this, that we are in this together and that so many others are out there in our shoes, at least for me, is beyond comforting.
talking to so many of you and hearing your situations also, idk why, but it makes me feel better and i enjoy it. not that i am happy that others have this fu*** super shi**** condition but its nice to hear and talk to you all who can connect with me. i really thought i was talking to a wall.
i will try and keep my emotions out of this and keep this short but i just want to say, you are not alone, and YOU WILL BEAT this sh** and we are going to do it together. its my mission.
i also know i promised i would respond to everyone here but tbh i have actually not even looked at this just because it actually has overwhelmed me just a bit. I want to respond to everybody and it stresses me out because i know i cant respond to everyone like i said i would. so i want to say that i am sorry about this. but you can talk to me, and tbh i actually really enjoy talking to you guys because at least i am able to connect with you all on this and for some reason its been easier for me to talk and connect with people on this topic.
this is in no way a plug what so ever. but there are so many comments here that i just cant make it to all of them, but you can message me on instagram. if you want to talk, have questions, would feel good for you to talk, or you just need somebody to vent to, come to me and feel free to.
idk why but i am really enjoying talking to you guys and you may 100% feel free to message me on instagram. about anything. im here. just give me a bit to respond. but i will. if i dont, comment on one of my pics, or do something else so to get my attention and tell me you messaged me. talking to others about this is like a breathe of fresh air for me, i never ever expected anything like this to happen or this many people to be going through the same struggle and not have anybody to talk to about it or have jsut kept quiet. we are the only ones who know just how difficult this is and how disabling it is for us.
okay enough from me. here is my instagram if you want to talk instagram.com/ben_mayz/
Matt Sterbater shut up Matt let the man speak
I want to be your friend! Me being introvert for my whole life hahaha
gosh everything you said in this video is my life. i was bullied and developed social anxiety and always feel like people dont like me as much as i liked them.that always messed with my head in adulthood. i eventually got a job working with like 100 great people and all of them liked me but i never like hung out with anyone outside of work. finding out i had adhd and getting on adderall helped me get out of head as well as my bf being "mr popular capt of football team" he is super outgoing. he forces me(more liek a nice nudge lol) to go out and it then becomes freaking out to ok this isnt so bad and it has gotten better. i hope you can find your way, its still a struggle but finding just one friend or partner who is the opposite of you can help if they understand and know when to push and not. if you lived close to here i feel like you would get along with our very small and social anxiety filled group lol if youre ever in yorktown va you have four people who would totally get you.
Thanks 🙏🏼 Ben!
Jesus loves you all guys
Does anyone here with social anxiety feel like they have to prepare every sentence in their head first before they say it? It's such a mental strain.
Yep. Know the feeling. Overthinking things really sucks but when you’re in that trance, that endless loop of being worried, it’s like an allergic reaction where you keep sneezing or scratching your skin because it itches. It’s hard sometimes to ignore the bullshit in your head, and the number of physical symptoms that go along with it. It’s also tiresome to keep explaining this people but they never truly understand wtf you’re going through. All I hear from people is that their back or leg is hurting them, you know minor shit compared to the nightmare you’re experiencing mentally the overall effect it has over your physical well being. These drugs are a joke too. I’ve never taken pills for a long period of time because I refuse to be a guinea pig for Big Pharma, I’ve only tried a few medications for a short period of time. I want some magic pill that gets rid of this shit for good but it doesn’t exist and it doesn’t come without a price, like the endless amount of side effects that go along with it. It leaves me with no choice but to live with it. Therapy is a joke too. It works for some people which is fine, I wish them the best, but during every session all I heard was the pills will make me feel better. I’ve only tried these anti anxiety anti depressants a couple of times and felt suicidal af, meanwhile it was barely a placebo, and they have to “take time” to work, meanwhile it’ll take several weeks and I’ll have to feel the negative symptoms that I felt when I first tried 25mg of sertraline for several weeks. Not worth it. I’ve heard many negative reviews about antidepressants.
kinda. but the worst part is that when you talk your head is already empty and you really have no words
Yesssssss
Yes, for almost 30 years I had this. I somewhat can control it now by accepting that being really awkward is ok and just go with it. Almost like instead of trying to act smart (which induces anxiety), acting dumb is really easy and releaving. I think it's important to get out there and get beaten by uncomfortable situations to the point you become somewhat immune.
Wow, that's me
“Everybody knew of me, but I never really fit in“ .. I FELT THAT deeep!!
@@stillness1296 how did the invite expire already wtf
@@user-pe5xd3qh7m Seems some mistake
Jesus loves you all guys
@@AWEFussball why do you say that?
@@stillness1296 New invite ?
You may have “0 friends” but you’ve touched close to half a million hearts 🙏🏽
:,)
1 friend would be better than that.
JT what's up 💪 love the content
man this nigga always dropping motivational comments. cant even be mad lol
Dang hope I did too with my channel
I’m 65 yrs old, and only about 5 years ago I finally realized why I never had friends - I’m a loner. I’ve learned to embrace my time alone (though married). And so, I’m never lonely even when alone…
Having your husband as your friend is all you need 😊
Same bro. I have job. Own place. Everything. But I have no friends. 25 years old. Like you said, introverted but you want to socialize. Its difficult. Feels like I have to go out somewhere with a bunch of people and force conversation for the sake of having friends. It's so difficult.
Agreed
And the thing is you shouldn't have to force yourself to do that.
For me
No extended family since 1999, they all turned on us...
Not one true friend since 2007
Went 15 yrs without a kiss, and 17 without any sex... now on 2yrs without them, and all together with sex, it was the same girl! Life is just so hard
I'm 40 now, but went through the same thing when I was in my early 20's. Realize this... introverted is another way of saying that you value real relationships, while in turn you're not good with superficial conversations. You'll feel like you missed out for many years, but as people grow and mature, you (and they) realize that partying was nothing but a quick drug. There are so many more things that I look back on, and feel thankful that I went through this transition. That said, going out to a bar to have a couple of drinks by yourself is undervalued. Just sit there, people watch, and dont pressure yourself to do anything.
@@secretysecret1551 I just wish things were different, and that adds a lot of depression, missing out on love/sex/memories, ya dig? So so hard
I’m 27 with no close friends, I don’t call, message, or text anyone. I rely on anime, videogames, and music to entertain myself. Somehow I accepted that I’m happy that way.
Me too , but im 14 and im enjoying it (lol)
cheeseball! 😭😭😭😭
i Want be yOur friend! 🤗💕
Same here, and Im 40 lol
@@thevcountdown9824 stranger danger kids. 💀
@@Pocketdekuwu 😭🤣 can’t violate him like that
Let’s build a community of socially anxious people. That would be such a life changer for me.
Too anxious to join that kind of thing
I’m down.
I'm down
Shit I’m down too😂
I'm down too😂
I've been having lots of social anxiety and it's getting a bit worse after I graduated from high school two years ago. I can totally relate to this. It is difficult to even walk up to a person and start a conversation. It's just the voice in the back of our heads creating false scenarios or making up stuff. I also have been dealing with "Phone Anxiety" for a long time and whenever someone such as my mom, tells me to call customer service or even trying to call a stranger, my heart starts to race and my hesitance grew. To whoever is reading this that has social anxiety, we are in this together and we can break free from this! Stay strong people!💪🏻
Being alone is dangerous and addictive, once you realise how peaceful it is you don't wanna deal with people anymore
How do i reach this level? I really hate my own company but i keep trying
@@MissTracyyy223 It's not healthy and fun like it sounds trust me
@@khalilfreeman9629 but its peaceful
@@MissTracyyy223 Not everything peaceful is good for you, you need some chaos and risks in life to create a balance and challenges to give your life a meaning.
Being alone is different from loneliness. Sure you can enjoy the bliss of being alone, but loneliness is a different thing.
People think it’s great and all but trust me, it’s not. Most people don’t know what it actually feels like to be lonely so please stop.
When he said he wants to party, but is introverted and that it is hard to explain. I felt that shit so hard.
Me too bro
Same here. Not necessarily party, but just chill and enjoy yourself but the same time you're introverted. It's a deep conflict and being in the middle zone makes you feel like time is just wasting by
50 years old and been living it since late teens
honestly bro one bit of mdma (at a party) will change your life like it did mine... made more more outgoing, confident and less anxious
I don’t promote drug usage but Dan is so right. M helped me a lot
I have huge respect for the fact that he created a UA-cam video about this while having social anxiety.
That’s strength
And he didn't take it down
Right! I couldn’t
The fact he made a video shows that his anxiety is at least manageable imo....even though he describes a severe case.
It's bullshit.
Has social anxiety but is more than happy to make a video to put on a social media platform that millions will potentially watch meaning he'll most likely be recognised by people that know him or know of him. A core part of the condition is fear of being judged and being overly concerned with how others perceive you, the last thing you'd want to do is draw attention to yourself.
The real kicker is that he leaves his instagram page at the bottom and you need only take one look at that and his cover is blown.
I am 26 and have no friends. Ben, thanks for making this video. You are exhibiting a desire to improve your life openly and that is an admirable thing. You give me a sense to want to improve myself or atleast progress in that direction.
I have ZERO social skills. I don’t like talking much because I never have anything to say. But once someone invites me to hangout or something, I always give excuses and say I’m busy because I don’t know how to act and I’m super awkward
This is literally my life
Damn, very timely. Currently experiencing it now.😞
Put your phone down more often and get offline .. seriously, the internet is making peoples social anxiety much much worse
At least you get invited
@@billsimms2511 how
Does anyone fall in the category of being friendly with everyone but no one wants to “squad up” with you):
Yes, that's me.
@cucumber202 Do you have Discord? I'd like to be your friend.
I had a “squad”but high school really split us apart and now after graduation I have no friends ,I guess I was always introverted
Yes.
@cucumber202 Once you accept the fact you "can't" overcome it, you'll get lazy and be content with it. Don't say "I can't" and instead say "I can overcome it, but it's not going to be easy".
Same. Sitting at home alone searching up why I have no friends at 25 years old... I know lots of people, but I'm not close with anyone. I was starting to think I'm strange. I didn't realize how many other people feel this way.
Girl it’s not you one ,I’m the same age feeling the same way
I’m 12, 13 soon
Aren’t typical 8th graders meant to be hanging out with their friends? Not stay at home playing games/homework all day...
My social skills are getting worse faster and faster. Never had proper friends since 2018. In 2019, a couple of girls, for 3-4 months, tried their best to get me to talk and get closer, but sadly, social anxiety said no, and I’d always run away from them, refusing hugs, conversations/etc.
I never knew about social anxiety until I was diagnosed in August the same year.
Same asf
Same, I’m 25 too. Plus I’m an only child, and not close to any of my cousins/family. It sucks seeing other people go places with their friends while I’m just doing the same things I do everyday. But I find comfort in knowing there are other people who are in the same situation. Thank you all for sharing.
@@MsGenesisValdez yesss i feel the same.. and it hurts a lot sometimes.
As someone who just turned 23 this year and really started to notice similar things this video hits home. Maybe all of us aren't so different after all
hi hon, im learning in my psychology courses at college from a wise professor that changed my life that besides the “viscious cycle”, we often forget that there is such thing as the “virtuous cycle.” it’s about doing good for others that in turn make yourself feel good. it’s actually amazing how easy and simple it is- participating in volunteer work like food drives, helping homeless, animals if you like, anything charity related. i think you should try it. it’s an opportunity for you to meet people, and then write about how you feel after when you come home! thx
Jesus Never left you or Forsaken you my Friend Better Believe that 😄He is watching and Cares for ALL of us in this Crazy life we live🙏❤Get your Focus on Christ The Saviour he really loves us:TheCROSS 🙏💟I am not healed out of nowhere from my incurrable sickness (: Better Believe that there is more to life than this Physical World💯Devil doesnt want us to wakeup...Just saying
@@achmed2pac You are speaking facts brother God bless you in Jesus mighty name, amen!
Idk if friends are as good as everybody thinks it’s really hard to find genuine people who you would want to share your life with
I agree I have two awesome friends I can trust. I have known one for 7 years and the other for 10 years. Thats all I need.
Very true
I totally get this and agree. I recently moved out of state almost 5 months and can say I have made two genuine friends and that’s all I need. I recognize that most of the ppl I come across will not *genuinely* care. But, I get along with most people at the same time. It’s weird. Moral of the story- make sure you treat the ppl in your life that actually care about you accordingly because those are the ppl that you need in your life. They are hard to come by, seriously.
@@mb-md3wj same I have three that I love dearly and trust completely. That’s hard to find , I’ve went through many bad friends to learn you need to be very selective.
💯
Someone once told me “yes, you’re an introvert but eventually you’ll find people who you can be an extrovert with.”
So that was a fucking lie
It doesnt work when you leave school or college
I'm pretty sure all my problems are because I'm in fact not an introvert. If I wasn't an extrovert would it even matter that i don't have friends or a social life lol
Fr
@@giornogiovanna8353 I school, college, & workplace maybe, but beside that you need to push yourself
I'm 27 and I have no friends either. You get used to feeling alone, but the loneliness kills you.
Exactly, there’s some people in the comment section saying that having no friends is the best thing to happen to them... but no, it is to an extent, but eventually solitude catches up if you spend too much time on being alone.
Try playing online games or join any online group. U will find 2-3 people of same opinion
I'm 27 too. I have no friends, job or social life. I've never dated or kissed anyone. The fear of people is wired into my brain, making me physiologically unable to open up to them. I'm pretty sure I will live the rest of my days and die alone.
@@alexs6374 find a therapist. This might take time to heal tho. I’m still working on it.
Get medicated and work on it with a therapist, and if you need to, maybe move or something. Go to large social gatherings. I feel your pain brother, please just don’t give up.
It's 3 years since you posted this video & somehow it showed up on my feed. I can say that I, too, have social anxiety & I am currently 55 years old. I, too, never felt like I belonged anywhere & I had always chopped it up to being adopted. Now I see there are many reasons that people have social anxiety. I grew up in a large family, I always knew I was adopted & never truly felt like I belonged in my family, let alone anybody else in the world.
I saw a therapist for 14 years & thought I worked through so many challenges in my life, only to realize social anxiety was still there. I keep working on it & have learned that there is nothing wrong with anyone that has social anxiety. I believe we can overcome anything as long as we keep working on it. It may never be the way we want but improving how we feel about our self is a huge step forward into healing ourselves.
I sure hope that things are better for you Ben as it took mountains of courage to post your video. That in my eyes is HUGE & you should be proud of yourself taking that step & putting everything out to the world.
To anyone that has social anxiety, know you are not alone out there & there is a huge community of us to connect with, one person at at time. We can learn so much from each other.
Peace & Love to all out there suffering from social anxiety. ❤
Dude I'm so glad you posted this, I really thought I was alone in feeling this way. everything you described is dead on
you are not alone. i am here with you. thank you. i am glad that we are rocking in the same boat my friend. it is nice and feels almost refreshing to hear someone else talk about this issue and feel the exact same way and know that you yourself are going through the same thing. for me its almost refreshing, and helps me feel normal as not many people like to talk about it. thank you for comment. stay strong minded, we will beat this shit. stay in touch. cheers mate
Go to church and seek Jesus Christ. His power will change your life. I promise.
May God bless you and be with you.
I share this.
John 14: 21 He who has My (Jesus) commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” 22 Judas (not Iscariot) *said to Him, “Lord, what then has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world?” 23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. 24 He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father’s who sent Me.
John 21: 24 This is the disciple who is testifying to these things and wrote these things, and we know that his testimony is true.
25 And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they *were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself *would not contain the books that *would be written.
John 7: 37 Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “[g]If anyone is thirsty, [h]let him come to Me and drink. 38 He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From [i]his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” 39 But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.
Where can one start reading The Bible?
In The New Testament: The Gospel of John and/or Acts.
about existence of God:
ua-cam.com/video/BljrAME1LLw/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/7c9PaZzsqEg/v-deo.html
about Scriptures, videos are in English:
jezus.simplesite.com/435491565
Romans 6: 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Yr Meri bhi same problem hai ... Kya apko Hindi bilkul bhi nhi aati Ben ?
I feel ya , I'm now 35, I have my wife and a few people I talk to only at work. Besides that, I hang out with no one and haven't really since around 23 ish also.
“I want to be social but I’m an introvert” - my life in a nutshell
Frrr
@Harishan Veerangan Exactly. Just means that you recover in solitude after a period of socialization!
I love introverts. So real and sincere. I always get a good vibe from them (us!). The extroverts may be more popular, but it's the introverts that produce for the world. Rock on, luv.
Then wouldn't it just make more sense to embrace your introversion rather than force yourself into socializing (particularly if you don't even enjoy it)?
@@devinbarnes7381 im dont force myself to socialize. i have the need to feel validating or the inherent need to be with someone.But at the same time im socially awkward and do not like people
I realised that people that have social anxiety or introverts are the most genuine people ever & are good friends & conversationalists. I could be wrong but people with social anxiety & introverts dislike small talk but if you talk about life or any deep convos, we come to life & break out of the social anxiety armour.
Yeah we're just being real with people.
We dont like to talk about unnecessary toxic stuff
This.
this is true, and ur comment brought me joy aha. ty
sadly too many people dont wanna talk about stuff like that, they rather converse about superficial stuff, makes me sleepy...not many people around that like to talk about history, philosophy, politics, many even get angry or upset if you try to talk about stuff like that...and at some point, you stop trying.
It takes a huge amount of courage to even come out and confront that very issue, so anyone here struggling, you're all wonderful, beautiful people. You are not your Social Anxiety, You're so much more. Props to this video!
I’ll never forget the fear of eating lunch alone in high school. It happened once and it was miserable. It sucks that we are hardwired to care about such trivial things like that.
same even worse, having thoughts about people making fun of you. its was hell dude. high school sucked big time. i feel like such an outsider out of the human species
I have that at work lunch and breaks
Junior year in high school I moved to Florida knew no one and that first couple weeks walking into that cafeteria was so depressing lmao. Them chicken sandwiches went hard tho!!
I was bullied for 11 years. Both physically and psychologically. The kids would even come up to my bedroom window and be mean to me. The would write nasty letters and dump it in my family’s mailbox, they would hit me (in different ways, using objects or hands) and sometimes stand outside the bathroom door in school, saying mean things to me, and then pushing the door so I couldn’t get out. Even the teachers would bully me. I had no one back then, - apart from my parents. I know that I am lucky that I at least had my parents, but man, - being bullied for that long... Thankfully today I do have friends and I am very grateful for that.
I always skip lunch and stay in the restroom watching Netflix the whole period lunch
You’re not alone. Lots of people are in the same situation, and there’s nothing wrong with that. No friends are better than fake friends, *believe me*
Exactlyyyyyyyy
May God bless you and be with you.
I share this.
John 14: 21 He who has My (Jesus) commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” 22 Judas (not Iscariot) *said to Him, “Lord, what then has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world?” 23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. 24 He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father’s who sent Me.
John 21: 24 This is the disciple who is testifying to these things and wrote these things, and we know that his testimony is true.
25 And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they *were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself *would not contain the books that *would be written.
John 7: 37 Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “[g]If anyone is thirsty, [h]let him come to Me and drink. 38 He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From [i]his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” 39 But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.
Where can one start reading The Bible?
In The New Testament: The Gospel of John and/or Acts.
about existence of God:
ua-cam.com/video/BljrAME1LLw/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/7c9PaZzsqEg/v-deo.html
about Scriptures, videos are in English:
jezus.simplesite.com/435491565
Romans 6: 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Truer words were never spoken. I used to have a "buddy" that I'd hang out with but he used me as a stepping stone every chance he got to make me look bad and lift himself. Sadly it works too. It's not like tv where some woman comes in to help, oh no everyone piles on until you feel like you're nothing. Needless to say I stopped hanging out with him but I don't have anyone else to hangout with now
J E S U S
John 7: 7 The world cannot hate you, but it hates Me because I testify of it, that its deeds are evil.
John 7: 15 The Jews then were astonished, saying, “How has this man become learned, having never been educated?” 16 So Jesus answered them and said, “My teaching is not Mine, but His who sent Me. 17 If anyone is willing to do His will, he will know of the teaching, whether it is of God or whether I speak from Myself. 18 He who speaks from himself seeks his own glory; but He who is seeking the glory of the One who sent Him, He is true, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.
19 “Did not Moses give you the Law, and yet none of you carries out the Law? Why do you seek to kill Me?” 20 The crowd answered, “You have a demon! Who seeks to kill You?”
Facts
Feeling of being introvert and at same time you want to socialize. You had me there.
Hi! If you'd like to, I'll put together a discord server as a way to talk to people without judgement, to find friends and try to expose yourself to new people gradually. You can choose to have camera or not, your real name or not, just listen to other people talking and chime in when comfortable or just stick to the chat. I will create the server out of you guys's wishes and needs. DM me on discord if you'd like to join the server at eviii$4731 ❤
I used to be like this, i was completely alone, no friends, i didn't talk at all, people thought i was mute, but my life took a drastic change when i started confronting everything that made me feel unconfortable and bad. I got better at my social skills recently, as a 24 years old, i'm doing better than i ever imagine i could do, because when i was at the bad times i always faced my social anxiety head on, like, if i had fear to talk to a group of persons, i would do it anyway, if i felt bad surrounded by a large concentration of people, i would stay anyway, these are little exemples to show that i would always put myself on the worse situations possible, and thats what helped the most, that and starting at the gym, today i can't even tell i once had social anxiety.
To me social anxiety is a natural response to repeated exposure to toxic people.
Boom
Exactly
Wow I've never heard this before it's perfect. Makes complete sense to me. I developed anxiety when I was hanging around with horrible people. Thanks so much for commenting this.
makes sense
Yep! Makes you think everyone is toxic and wont care what you say when that is not the case i struggle with social anxiety sometimes.
“I want to be social but I’m an introvert” I can’t agree with you more on that
Not only do I feel this but as I read the quote, he spoke it. So I felt this a lot
felt this especially. i wanna party and hang out in big crowds and go to raves but my introverted self is too shy to let loose and fully enjoy moments like these even when i make an attempt.
@Κωνσταντίνος ΉπΜκ introvert just means u get energy from being alone. eg if there is a task, introverts usually like to work out how to do it alone, while extroverts would rather work it out in a group. u can still want to be a so called extrovert or cool kid going to parties hooking up with hot chicks lol. introvert dont mean u want to be 40 year old virgin living in your mums basement playing counter strike. ive always been introvert, but played in footy team, done boxing, going out partying, have gfs. but i physically cant socialise like everyday for week, because it will be too draining, i need some alone time to charge batteries and reflect. same way an extrovert would really struggle not to socialise for everyday for a week.
@Κωνσταντίνος ΉπΜκ I'm sure an introvert also likes to have some friends they socialize with once in a while. Which is what i believe he meant in that way
@Κωνσταντίνος ΉπΜκ you was implying that someone who wants to rave and be in big crowds cant be an introvert and must be a shy extrovert. im just letting you know that is incorrect!!!!
The problem is that nowadays people get "associates" and "friends" mixed up a lot. You're lucky if you get one friend throughout your lifetime, and that's normal.
That's the truth, I have plenty of acquaintances, but there's one person I could call at 3 in the morning and tell him my car is broken down 50 miles from his house, he will show up with his tool box. I would do the same for him. That's a friend .
43520tom you are so blessed to have this true friend.
Where are you from? That's sad bro.
Join a club or society.
@@fionnmaccumhaill1023 bro to me a friend is the same as family, can't really have people lining up to genuinely die for you
@@fionnmaccumhaill1023 I don't think you know what a real friend is.
This popped up today and it interested me because I have a son who has expressed similar feelings. This is 3 years after you originally posted this, so I hope this finds you doing well. I too had the "rush" you talked about with social anxiety. I also felt isolated. I also had OCD. I was full of fear and anxiety. I never took any medication, but I heard Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says: "Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened. I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle in heart and you will find rest for your souls." THAT was what I needed...rest. I decided to follow Jesus, started by reading the book of John to learn about Jesus... and He healed and transformed me, my mind. (not like a magic button, but surely and slowly over time.) It is His love. I no longer am afraid of people, a slave to people. I am free. My social anxiety days...were many decades ago. So many doors opened when I became free. Just wanted to share that with you. Life is fun when we're not in that bondage. I used to drink to be able to connect with people. I haven't drank in forever. Well.. you seem like a really nice person. And don't let the "stigma" of no friends bring you down. I used to hang on to people because of that. I would have been better off with maybe one really good friend. Today, I'm married with three kids. Jesus is still my best friend :) Take care!
I wish it had been that like for me. I've read the entire Bible but I'm still socially anxious. Maybe it helps in an abstract, bigger picture kind of way, but not in the moment.
Seems like a lot of us feel like it’s a coincidence that this video has reached us, but the fact this video is blowing up at the moment suggests that this is quite a widespread issue...
I might just diagnosed my self 😅
It's one those things that never gets any attention or awareness brought to it.
this the real pandemic right here, lol
Yeah I don’t have any friends now. It’s sucks
I definitely agree with that! Especially now, a lot of people are having to get used to being alone and away from those who they are closed to. There are also those who are used to being alone and comfortable with their own space.
I'm in my early 30's and don't have friends. I have no problems socializing and have been told I'm a conversationalist, but at the end of the day, there's no real connection. Now that I'm older, I'm okay with it and don't take it personally. I understand that I'm different, it's the kind of world we live in, and that I'm not the only one experiencing this phenomenon. I appreciate my energy, my space and time, and if one day I'm truly able to create authentic connections I will appreciate those moments even more.
You sound like me😂
right well as I have heard before
"before you diagnose yourself as depressed/anxious etc... make sure that you are not actually in fact just surrounded by ass**les" LOL I just genuinely don't find most people interesting. I don't find them disgusting or anything bad... I just don't care to have any more intimacy than what is required.
I have a handful of good friends and a couple handfuls of acquaintances and I am cool with that.
I just want to connect with someone .. ugh.. I hate this feeling 😔 .. this feeling of “who can I talk to?”
@beswick1111 I do everything alone. I don't mind it. It's no big deal for me. I plan on going on some trips alone. I'm comfortable in who I am.
I am the opposite. I do like socializing with certain people. I like being alone at times but I do like company :(
I'm 41 and have no friends. Most my life I've had no friends, friends are over rated. Don't lose sleep over it, it's actually freeing and peaceful to do everything by yourself. Much love to you my man
What if u get sick and need help
43 here. The same. My husband, my son and my mom. That’s it. My little big world. I know a lots of people but they are not friends
@@EE-ie9gm i suffer alone
@Harishan Veerangan haha your my friend take L
@Harishan Veerangan it's alright for the most part. I am on medication for depression, going on 3 decades now. I would say for the most part I am content, not happy, but content. I do get sad alot, but it's something I have accepted a long time ago, I don't even try anymore to "fit in" I gave that up as soon as I graduated high school. I think some people are born to be loners. It does suck, but the irony of it is, the thought of going out and socializing is draining to me. I can socialize when I need to, like at work, but deep down I don't enjoy it. I have accepted that I am different. I am the black sheep of the family. I've never quite fit in anywhere. I'm not ugly, but not a super model, not super smart, but not dumb. I am just this average lonely girl who tries everyday just to "make it thru" I am very religious and believe in the bible, so, this may sound morbid, but, I've always looked forward to death. I know once my physical body gives out my spirit can finally find peace. Pure, blissful, perfect peace.
Dude, I was right there at that same age. The only
way I was able to help myself was with the help of a really great psychologist. I’m doing much better now but still not out of the woods and I don’t think we’ll ever be. I can def function better now in social situation to the degree where it’s almost normal. But what you said was almost exactly what I went through. So glad that you shared this. You’re def not alone and I wish you all the luck in the world in getting over your SA.
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.” - Robin Williams
I remember reading this quote a few years ago, as I read about how the actor R.W. died...and I remember how I agreed with his quote. As soon as I agreed with it, a cloud of depression came over me strongly. For 2-3 days straight I had negative, lonely, selfish thoughts that I was misunderstood, etc. At one point, I got triggered by anger and left the house for a drive. When i left home in the car, all of a sudden I realized what triggered it. I had simply agreed with a brilliant, but pessimistic quote! So I snapped out of it and returned home to my husband and kids.
I think many of us are lonely. Plus, there is that void that no human can fill, that loneliness that a human can't satisfy. It hurts the nost when our loved ones seem to misunderstand us. But I try to remember that those most hurting might be the ones that lash out at others. With God's help, when I get hurt now - I try to retreat for a little to calm down. Then I make a choice swallow the pain. If it's not possible to make a person understsnd and listen to me - I don't say anything to them. This person may never change - but I can! I can learn to give grace. It's not our job to change them, right? People surrounding us need us to love them and just let them be. Even "toxic" people. Punishing them just makes us toxic!
WORD!
Omfg true baby 💖
Theres many celebrities who are lonely even though they are surrounded by a lot of people all the time.
AMEN!
Hey, you’re not alone! I’m 22 and I have no friends. I haven’t had any real friendship connections ever since I was 16. And when you’ve been alone for such a long time, every time you try to reach out to people it gets a little harder. At this point I don’t even know what to do anymore. I’ve given up, if being alone is my destiny, then so be it :( I keep trying to go out and meet new people but all it does is leave me with a bunch of quick, meaningless interactions, which just feels draining.
Exactly, I'm already kinda preparing myself to be an elder orphan. I'm stacking my retirement savings aggressively because I have no kids, wife/gf, or friends to spend my disposable income on. I know I'll have to get my affairs in order myself.
@@faw3162 I feel you! But at this point, I feel like life without anyone but myself just feels empty. It's so weird because I have been taking good care of myself this year: going to the gym, losing weight, spending money on beauty products, reading books, educating myself etc. etc. ... I thought that would make me happy but now I feel even more depressed and drained. I've got all of these superficial things that I did'nt have before and I am also working on myself and my attitude constantly but I still feel like nothing has changed inside of me. I'm lucky to have a good family that I deeply love but other than that I don't have much of a social life.. my next project will be to build a business and to have a career that I can invest in.
I try to go out and meet new people at events but it always leads to interactions and acquaintances that are merely superficial.
Wishing you lots of luck tho! I hope things will work out well for you :) At least you have the financial freedom and the independence that many people are longing for, which is great! I'm trying to get there too.
(Sorry for any mistakes, I'm not a native speaker.)
Hey dont dare give up your still only what...22?
@@rethgual8227 I can relate. I'm 20 and I have never had real friends. I don't think I can handle an entire life without people that care about me. I don't think I'll pass 30 if life continues to be so hard.
@@danie3787 I feel you, it's hard.. I haven't figured out how to overcome this feeling yet, but I know that it must be possible. It helps to know that there are people out there who experience similar situations, we are not alone!
I think it's incredibly hard, but we have to learn to find value in ourselves, in our own presence and to not be dependent on other people. The right people will come at the right time. With that being said, I know how it feels to wait, wait, wait for something to change .. be motivated and yet things still stay the same :( it sucks.. but I'm still trying to be optimistic about it.
Don't give up!
What a humble dude. I’d be lucky to have a friend like this guy
I'm humble, I'm friendly, we can be friends.
@@commentscopyrightattorney5543 that's weird dude
@@Cianuroo- imagine it's not i've had social anxiety before and it's real hell my friend
@@commentscopyrightattorney5543 didnt ask
@@Cianuroo- Chill
You're not alone. Sounds like your doing all the right things to help yourself. Anyway you have a new friend here.
I hope this isn’t weird to say but it makes me feel better that even someone as attractive as this guy doesn’t have friends like me
That was my first thought, the guy looks like a fashion model and he still struggles. It makes me more comfortable being in a similar place.
Fr though. That tells me the nobody is perfect. There is always a story to tell behind a pretty face.
Honestly that's something I realized as I've gotten older. More people are awkward and have social anxiety than you think. When you stop trying to make yourself perfect and stop overthinking the better off you'll be. It's just putting yourself out there more. Sure it'll be hard at first, but it gets better and it's nice when you're comfortable enough to be with people who actually care about you.
I feel like there has to be a name for this sensation.
Hi! If you'd like to, I'll put together a discord server as a way to talk to people without judgement, to find friends and try to expose yourself to new people gradually. You can choose to have camera or not, your real name or not, just listen to other people talking and chime in when comfortable or just stick to the chat. I will create the server out of you guys's wishes and needs. DM me on discord if you'd like to join the server at eviii$4731 ❤
All the girls at work are going out for a girls trip and no one invited me. I overheard 3 of the girls talking and one asked if I was invited. The room was silent and then they just burst out laughing. I talk and laugh with these ppl everyday and this is how they truly feel about me.
They treat their own friends like that, don’t even think they are real friends to each other. Karmas a bitch! Don’t let this get in your head.
You don’t want friends like that anyway
They sound like nasty people. You wouldn’t enjoy being around jerks like that anyway.
Kinda feel the same way, like, were on the same team, same table, i was right in front of them, one person invited everyone except me. I just learn not to care anymore
Thats all you need to knpw about them . They are rude
I'm 21 right now, a junior in college experiencing the exact same thing. literally searched "I have no friends" on the yt search bar. This video gave me comfort knowing that I'm not alone going through this. Thanks, Ben.
Oof big mood
I'm planning on starting a type of conversation therapy on UA-cam where I have talks with any of you who is interested. It's a theory I have based on languages, which I believe changes perspective on things. If you are interested in trying, let me know, I'm thinking of only doing the audio, but if you want to appear on video, I can include you.
Answer me and we'll set this up, I'm looking forward to this It will be interesting for the listener, good for you to feel better and for me to further develop this idea
I just searched up “no friends” but yea I have basically the same problem
I'm 20 and did the same thing
Im 20 and exactly did the same, still going through this „loneliness” shit. Maybe will be better 🤷♂️
This will probably go unread because this video was posted so long ago, but to anyone suffering from social anxiety, I really feel that the solution lies within ourselves and not necessarily within western medication. If you can take the time to meditate, to kind of separate yourself from your thoughts and your emotions, you’ll eventually be able to see that your anxieties and fears are as much a part of you as everything else that you feel. You may be broken, but that’s okay. You don’t need to “fix” yourself, you need to accept yourself, come to an understanding with yourself, and treat yourself like you would treat a best friend. The first step is taking a step back.
Absolutely. Ive noticed that a lot of people unfortunately are not educated enough on the bigger picture and just fall for what the pharma industry wants the most : getting you hooked on some sort of pills. of course there will always be complex cases where these medications can offer a certain stability , but that just really depends on the person. but theres so many people who dont really try to find answers in themselves , and they never concider taking a more spiritual or philosophical approach to all of this. too many people here in germany think you just gotta find the right antidepressant that works for you ,and then youre all set, but dont realize that they are just running in circles trying to find a perfect magic pill to fix their issues. all these pills have some sort of bad side effects. but this is why i agree with you: medicine will not fix the root issue. you have to go within. create your own world. develope independence. and then other people can be a beatiful extension of that world.
I tried to quit smoking 20 years ago and was given Wellbutrin to help. It made everything worse, I felt like a maniac coming out of my skin. I went from a half of a pack of cigarettes to over a full pack in a matter of two weeks.. I just felt overly hostile and mean, like nicotine withdrawals amplifed times ten.
It's funny the commercials will say those drugs can increase mania symptoms and suicidal thoughts in some people.. but when you tell a doctor about bad side effects they'll blow you off and tell you that you need to give it time to work and get a consistent blood level of it built up in your system over several months.
By then several months may be too late for some people.
Doctors are or have been very negligent in that regard. They might miss out on a drug kickback or some free all expenses paid seminar/vacation somewhere to speak at an mental health event.
22 and suffering with this darn illness
I am a therapist and you are exactly correct, social anxiety is in the most simplest terms a lack of self love, self knowledge and some form of self rejection. The antidote is about changing the relationship with self which changes the external experience of reality we experience.
@@badele80Proof that therapists are useless
No friends are better than fake friends without a doubt. Feeling alone around people is worse than being alone
I honestly disagree . Social need is so important to human beings. I would say it comes directly after food, shelter and water. People take social lives for granted and I see a lot of people in their early 20s ending best friendships and friendships over small slights/arguments/misunderstandings and falling outs and just not realizing how vital those relationships are and that they arent going to be able to pick up new friends from the supermarket. Once you finish college and hit mid-late twenties it becomes incredibly difficult to find and make new friends. I lost my best friend at 23 and I literally never found another one. I never ever thought that would happen.
@@beepbeep9043 Very insightful. I've personally ended ties with most my friends over the last two years. I am 24yrs old I am definitely not seeing any new friends as of yet at least. I know what you mean, one does not simply pick up a new friend out of no where but I feel it was neccessary for me. People I've ended ties with have been one sided friendship. Ive witness envy against personal growth which hurts alot. A Social life is important but with the wrong type of people it's more draining rather than a feeling of fufillment.
@@beepbeep9043 I can both agree and disagree, it just depends on the person‘s mindset.
@@guillotine_cut yeah absolutely I would rather have no friends than a bunch of fake friends I completely agree. Feeling grateful that you can finally breathe and not have to be a mule for everybody is the greatest feeling one can find besides love. But chasing love can lead to quicksand, so self-love is a great tied for first :)
I wholeheartedly agree with this!
When the UA-cam algorithm knows more about you than your own family
its scary
Eventually even wish in facebook gonna advertise us ropes and small chairs
Its fucking scary
@@romas4322 being introvert is not that bad, is it?!
It has its brightside as well.
Most of the time, I love being an introvert, enjoy having no friends enjoy silence and looneliness😇
Damn, from Germany
You're an introvert. I am too. I'm a loner but I've come to accept that.
Usually anxieties go hand in hand with introversion.
I struggle in social situations, I need to really think about what I'm going to say..I can't be pushed into giving quick responses.
I'm so so bad during job interviews I have severe panic attacks before and during .I just fail them every time.. because in an interview you have to sell yourself and I just go completely blank. I feel it just before it happens and it does every time.
I'm ok with genuine, real, gentle souls . But I still to this day have no friends.. and I'm 48.. Haven't had a friend since I was 15
I just cut off the last good friend that I had because I was really unhappy with how in our friendship I could give her a list emotional support but when it came time for me to talk about my problems she would show zero empathy or sympathy and at the end of the day isn’t that the only reason we really have friends? So I decided to end the friendship and just struggling a bit with feeling like now I’m not gonna have any friends. I’m also introverted with anxiety and social situations and I’m also sober so I can’t go and have a drink and make friends like I used to. But reading your comment didn’t make me feel a little bit better than at least I’m not alone and it is what it is. I can still live my life as you have lived yours.
@@crazygoodtherapy9614 Hi,
Just read your comment.
I guess it all comes down to accepting what is and enjoying what you do love..I have no friends but I'm not sad about that because I am a natural born lonner I think.
I enjoy my passions in life.
I'm just upset and frustrated with my anxiety over specific situations , like job interviews because they cause such uncontrollable panic attacks, so I'd never pass that stage, and let's face it, no interviewer, I believe, would look past that and give me a chance based on what my cover letter or application says, because I am a very hard worker, reliable and honest.. And yet because of my panic I'm totally overlooked as being incompetent.
There is a job going that I want so desperately to apply for with my local council its only 6.2 house per day, 5 days per week, at $35 per hour and it's permanent .. and I'm freaking out at just filling in details to apply for it, my heart just races and the anxiety kicks in, so that I'm restless, with " What ifs " constantly in my head.. It's so horrible.
@@fleurlewis That sounds like a great job for you if you are interested in it. I think many people get nervous whether they have anxieties or introversion in job interviews. I know I always get super nervous in job interviews but the one thing that does help me prepare is to smile and try to look positive and prepare some positive sounding answers for every question that they may ask. I wish you all the best in applying and please do apply you never know what may happen.
@@crazygoodtherapy9614 thanks.. But I actually go blank and can't answer questions...my anxiety is more than just nervous, . I've literally starting shaking, I blank out and even cry during then because it's just so overwhelming.
@@fleurlewis *hugs* i hope somehow you’re one day able to find a way to manage it at least during the interview part.
As someone who struggled a lot with crippling social anxiety I've discovered that I'm mostly like on the Autism spectrum...I'm going to look into it further but for anyone else out there who haven't ever felt "right" or "normal" this might be something to look into :)
I feel the same Marfmellow 29 still very lost alone no friends or good family social anxiety sucks.
Bro where are you in the spectrum?
I always want to make friends, but once I socialize I notice how fake, rude and toxic most people are and than I just chill with myself again ._.
I get you. It sucks sometimes you see someone that seems like you could be really good friends with and then you finally get the courage to say something and they turn out to not be what you expected and it’s like damn let me go back to my lonely corner real quick
Make friends online. Some reaaaally cool people out there.
U can't read everyone's mind. Just give them a chance.
Far out that’s so true
i love you!
the way I'm 25 with no friends and have social anxiety.... this algorithm is top notch
There seriously needs be an app to make friends with those who has or had social anxiety and/or depression.
@@zalphero618 On it!
It's hightech technology. they know more than you know about yourself. social media is a platform to collect data from humans
don’t feel bad im 19 and im in the same boat 😜
22 here
I'm 30 years old watching this right now... you're not alone!💪
Feeling the same, Let’s link y’all facebook.com/groups/3747416995372257/?ref=share ❤️❤️
High five👍 Being alone is difficult. But trust me once u master it..You will be your own best friend❤️
39 same
I'm 30 and same
31
Appreciate you being brave enough to speak on your situation and sharing with us! It’s not easy at all having social anxiety but know while you are alone, you’re not alone.
We are a very common people and we’re beautiful just the way we are ❤️
I don’t even want friends I want to just be comfortable with myself.
Same dude
Saaaaaaameeee 😩
I doubt that. No one can be happy alone all the time. It’s natural for humans to share memories with friends or family or whoever it maybe.
its hard... sometimes friends can make it easier.... as well as exercise. Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck :)
i think it's really important to learn that you CAN live without friends if there comes a point where someone leaves or you get dragged into a toxic friendship, but also it's important to keep a small circle of friends who make u happy. i think it's a bad idea to have a huge circle of a lot of friends because you're bound to have a lot of problems
Comming from a 24yo Male. My experience with mental health issues, I find when it comes to socialising and anxiety it needs to be treated like a muscle. You need to exercise it, make it uncomfortable for it to grow. As strange as it might feel when you have been a recluse for years trying to socialise it only gets easier with practice. I went 2 years without socialising outside of close family and work. I started studying recently and have made a concious effort to make conversation with others in my class. It was so damn uncomfortable in the beginning but I've made friends and it has grown me as a person so much. Dont give up my dude. Persistence is key
So much this, everything takes practice
Feeling the same, Let’s link y’all facebook.com/groups/3747416995372257/?ref=share ❤️❤️
Its not as easy as your making it sound for some its true isolation im 28 and i have a 7 yr old with nonverbal autism I have been almost completly alone without any real contact with anti e for about 4 yrs its overwhelming and then your alone with your own thoughts which is worse than being around strangers my family doesnt really reach out because I think they dont oniw me anymore and my daughter is ya rd to do things even like family gatherings because even tho I'm there in chasing her around and micro managing her because I have to so I miss out anyway I literally watch my giant fun family take trips and have these huge family pictures on a beach or canoeing down a river or all them at thr kids birthday party together and they love me its just I think they just unintentionally have forgotten about me i work at a scale house i am alone in a building all day then i go home and sit in my house alone with my daughter and watch the world from the outside and it makea me sad but i can't just exercise my socializing because its to where i have no one to even reach out to and I'll tell myself once in awhile enough is enough and get dressed and do my hair makeup or just put a little more effort in telling myself to go by this person I havemt talked to in ages or swing by your uncle's its Friday you know that everyone is probably there having some drinks and food sitting outside joking and talking and either three things happen I do it and my daughter has a meltdown which is hard to handle it makes me feel like we are ruining everyone's evening or I get in the car and drive by and let myself get into my thoughts of negativity and tell myself they dont call or invite so why would they want us to just show up and I go back home or I do t even get past anxiousness to even go anywhere only to get back 8nto lounge cloths and think to myself wth are you thinking it's shitty and i dont know how to start when there is no where to even statt
It’s amazing that you made such progress and I think you should be proud of yourself. And you’re right, a big part of success is practice but also mindset. When you think everybody hates you and your self-esteem is beyond awful, you’ll most probably make no progress.
@@myrtila I agree mindset plays a massive role. I found when I started drilling the idea in me that nobody actually gives a shit that helped my anxiety massively.
“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.”
- Charles Bukowski
Omg...that is so true!
If you don't have friends ,it means you are actually normal, you are not a narcissist asshole!
AWESOMELY true..
@@doomslayer8032
Wow, good one. (sarc) Cheers.......I guess. (more sarc) The quote is quite applicable.
No that’s just an excuse to make yourself feel better. Doubts may be prevalent in intelligent people but being intelligent isn’t the causation.
The crazy thing about having social anxiety, being quiet and introverted is that you'll never be able to be friends with someone else who is like you because you always need the other person to engage you first and these type of people are extroverted and confident.
Fascinating! I think you're right
Yes! I almost depend on the other person’s energy to get me going, and then I can be fine.. but if I’m with another quiet person, we can be quiet together for days 😂😂
weird bc this happens to me too but im extroverted! when im with other extroverted and outgoing people i get really uncomfortable but i feel very comfortable with talking to introverted people, and most of my friends are introverts lol
introvert and extrovert terms are not as simple. There are many kinds. There are passive extroverts and social introverts. I am an introvert and can socialize but I need to recharge for days after. I can totally be quiet with someone for days though. There are extroverts who would seem quiet and chill but can switch on full mode at any moment no need to recharge.
100%
Dude I don't even care anymore. Seriously, I've tried therapy, medication, even yoga but I'm just gonna have to accept the fact that I'm a socially awkward emotionless robot who's gonna die alone. I'm 25 as well and it just hits hard that no one wants to understand how I feel. Everyone, even my own family tells me I have to open up more. Well what do you want me to do, talk to every random person on the street just to get a cold shoulder? It's hard man. Especially during this pandemic. Like, I see more people in relationships now than ever before. It just makes me feel even worse about myself. But it's cool. I've been here this long so I may as well keep grinding through life. Sorry if I wrote too much lol. I just needed to vent.
Don't feel sorry for yourself
Thanks fam. I did manage to get a job at a restaurant so I'm just gonna try to take it one step at a time from greeting other people to very general small talk to hopefully getting to the point where my coworkers are comfortable with me and I'm comfortable with them. It's sad for me to say but I actually have a handbook where I've jotted down conversation starters. I know, it's that bad lol
@@yung_Latios let everything come naturally, some of my closest friends are those who chose to stick around and put up with me despite my flaws , no one is perfect 😉
Thanks so much I'll do my best. What I'm hoping that won't happen is if everyone there will start gossiping about me being that quiet guy and treating me differently. That's the main problem I've had all my life. I just can't be someone I'm not and my personality is generally quiet and laid back. I can start a conversation but I can't really keep it going unless it's based around my interests.
@@yung_Latios your interest is what makes you, you. If they don't like it their lost, literally
I always try to be good but people always want to use me as if I was dumb, and whenever I fight back they get mad and outcast me, they always expect you to be nice.
Truth
Story of my life
Same here. I decided to be alone now sometimes it feels lonley, but they just accept you when u are what they like. That's bullshit.
Same story bro. It's killing me a couple of days ago.
Yep :(
Your not alone Ben! Definitely a problem in modern society with social media and a growing dependence on virtual communication as a whole. Good luck on your growth mate, you can do it!
I can relate. I grew up in a narcissistic family that judged, talked behind others backs, were fake to their faces, manipulative, etc... I avoid interactions with others bc i don’t want to be judged or treated like my family treated others.
I get you
Same! God Bless
... true
same have a dirty narcisstic elder brother
Same here!! My family is so judgemental and self-centered that I hardly go around anymore. Now that I'm dating someone new his family reminds me so much of my family that I hardly give them conversations.
I'm not even tryna exaggerate but I feel like 80% of the stress in my life comes due to my social anxiety :")
Social anxiety can stem from excessive porn/masturbation useage, excessive social media usage, excessive drug usage (including marijuana), excessive unhealthy eating.
SAME!!! It holds me back so much. I feel like I’m behind everyone all of the time
@@CruzWithMe but if someone hypothetically stops doing that altogether, then where can they go? What makes an anxious person feel good and safe? Who can distract the stress? Socially anxiuos people mostly do not have a safe at home relationships...
@@CruzWithMe source ?
@@arturas7240 you start small and do the things you dream about doing.
Literally zero friends since 18. Almost 20 years later, it's not so bad. But I always had my family. It's good to have a real support system.
Especially in covid. Family is what matters
thank you! i just made a comment about how family is what keeps you going when you dont have any friends. try getting in contact more with your cousins, doesnt matter if they are your 1st, 2nd, or 3rd cousins.. as long as your family is connected and you all know eachother then they can help you.
Not everyone has a big family, a close family, or family nearby.
I'm basically in your same boat Victor. Friendless since 18, only I'm a few years younger than you, so I am seventeen years in. It sucks for so many years, then at a certain point you just become so used to being alone that you can't accept anyone in your life even if they tried to invite themselves in.
I have no friends or family around 😂😂🤣🤣.
You seem like a nice guy bro , you gonna have people who appreciate you in your life ! Keep being you
Literally me. "Friendly" with both groups, but never invited or welcomed.
yup
That's me.
We had two groups in class. But coming from a school where there was no groupism at all, I could not adjust to it. I was in good company with both the groups, and tried to be the friendly guy. But in the end, the groups never united and I was alone. And the fact that I wasn't 100 percent into any of these groups also meant that none of them have contact with me now, because they didn't count me as a friend at all.
Ahh...big mistake.
Same I know so many people and are cool with both groups but I never really fit in for some reason. And it’s crazy how many people know me and only like one or two have texted me to check up on me during quarantine lol. But it’s whatever.
Kinda the same but I would always distance myself from either group
Same here bro
I'm 27 and haven't had an actual friend in 12 years. It feels nice to relate.
I feel you. People can be jerks
For real! I think it's a trust issue for me. I don't know, but it's EXTREMELY hard for me to have a bunch of friends I constantly have fun with. It's never happened for me like others. I've hung out with friends and did stuff but it was very short lived and I had to force it.
Me, too. I'm 29... You're not alone. :)
Huge relate
Y’all heard about Stoicism?
I’m 25 in may and I don’t have friends either, I talk to some people at work that I like but I can’t ever follow through with making plans. I want friends, I want to hang out but I also want to stay in my room all day. I always get jealous of large groups of friends, I wonder what it must be like to depend on so many people and to laugh with so many and to well to be liked by so many in general. I don’t have hobbies that would involve someone joining me, I get sad about it but I also know I’m the problem. It doesn’t help when you push everyone away who does get close.
Yes! Literally me.
Do you also feel uncomfortable with inviting people around to your home? Because I do. Reason being that I feel as though it makes me feel vulnerable in a sense.
It's strange because I'm an athlete who is always taking part in social events, but haven't a single TRUE friend, only associates.
I'm a Taurus too, maybe there's some truth to this star sign bizzle...🤣
I should also mention that's it's probably my fault I have no friends, as I'm a very skeptical person! I don't trust anyone until given a reason to. I've had a difficult life, and it's opened my eyes to how Self Centred, and Careless people (even friends) can be.
I would be your friend 😀
Yes girl same. I’ve always wanted a huge group of friends and for people to blow up my phone with plans every weekend. I never had that, maybe a friend here or there but they were super social so I distanced myself from them. It seems so simple, to just make friends but In our heads it’s impossible. Isolation is my friend. Movies. Sleep. UA-cam. Overthinking. You’re not alone. And I support you! 💕
So relatable!
Dude I struggle with social anxiety BIG TIME! Your video has been so enlightening and educating and I don't feel as alone anymore. Also 25, so maybe its an age thing. haha. I hope things for you took a turn in the right direction! Love you man!
bro, you answered your own dilemma. You said you want to help people, and your whole expression changed and you became visibly happy when you said it. Start helping people and you will feel better and start making connections with others
Hopefully he sees this
How I beat my social anxiety? Exposure therapy. I meet different people each week. Exposure therapy gives you practice. If you do it long enough it becomes second nature. For courage before a meeting, I listen to music that hypes me up. I also take a natural emotions stabilizer. I also hype myself up by telling myself that EVERYONE is weird in their own way. There is nothing wrong with you. You are 23, get onto those dating apps and meet people every week!
What emotions stabilizer do you take
what supplement do you take for emotions?
I'm also curious about an emotional stabilizer
Such truth. The more you apply yourself the more natural it becomes , even if your acting. Mel Gibson is a fine example of a man with social anxiety and has become successful .
Very true!! My job forced me to practice small talk, socializing and connecting and now I’m very good at socializing but growing up I was very shy and had social anxiety. Practice and exposure therapy really does wonders. We have to make ourselves uncomfortable if we want change.
How did UA-cam know that I have no friends at 25 and recommend this video to me? That's crazy accurate!
I know right lol I felt slightly attacked
U seem really chill tho just based on apppearance lol
Same.
I turned 24 in january this targeted videos are getting to acurate
Same I'm 24 tho, guess the AI Online Fingerprint is quite Accurate, 0_o
Realizing that I had a problem made the problem worse for me too. Now I think about my social anxiety constantly throughout the day and it makes both the anxiety and my depression worse.
It's your awareness of it. Choose different thoughts even if it's not true beliefs are all we are BELIEVE something different.
I'm 28 and have no friends
It's lonely sometimes, but I've come to enjoy my freedom
29 and same same :) no peer pressure, you don’t compare yourself and don’t feel judged for every decision you make
Damn I'm 28 also with no friends
I’m 15 with no friends 😭 well sum but half of them are fake
That's so true. Better alone than around fake friends
@@Dylan-bj4fx so you do have friends lol
We live in a very narcissistic society. Most folks only care about what you do or what you have rather than who you are.
that has nothing to do with narcissism
Selfish is a better word. Narcissists are still pretty common though.
You're clearly lacking love if that's the perspective u hold on life, free yourself change you're life style, u are just probably attracting people like yourself.... Soo u must not truly love youreself if u can't love others unconditionaly
Or stay down buddy choice is youres but no one really wants to see negative comments like this, the only negativity you're seeing in life is probably all within you're self, so either stay down and shut up, or change you're life style and see life for it's true beauty
@@pattyverward1201 It absolutely does, narcissists tend to view society in a very judgemental way. Sure, that behavior is not solely related to narcissism but to say it has nothing to do with? You're beyond wrong.
It sucks being known as the guy who doesn’t talk at work, because people gossip like little girls and tell every new employee before they even meet you that you are quiet, so everyone is automatically uncomfortable around me because they don’t know how to interact with me knowing I’m hard to talk to.
And then talkative people have the audacity to get upset at me for not initiating conversation even though it flows from them easily.
Honestly I think a lot of people are intimidated by shy socially awkward people, and part of it has to do with the media representing us as killers or crazy people or slow in the head.
I have had on several occasions coworkers admitting that I’m scary or they think it’s weird that I’m quiet.
I’m 24, almost 25, I have been dealing with that shit for 7 or 8 years now, I have given up on friends. My girlfriend is enough, I have my own life I want to make, and if there is someone who becomes my friend along the way so be it.
Amen to everything you said, bro
It’s crazy, I’m shy as hell too at work. Ended up getting close with my boss after like a year, she told me that the whole time she thought I was a “stuck up privileged kid”. When I am actually the exact opposite... it blew my mind that her perception of me for a whole year was so far off!!!! Imagine how often that happens
I also had some people who had told me that I'm weird or they are wondering if I want to kill them. It hurts that people think you're a psycho only because your shy and quiet
On the plus side being known as the quiet weird guy at work makes the boss think twice about firing you.
I'm planning on starting a type of conversation therapy on UA-cam where I have talks with any of you who is interested. It's a theory I have based on languages, which I believe changes perspective on things. If you are interested in trying, let me know, I'm thinking of only doing the audio, but if you want to appear on video, I can include you.
Answer me and we'll set this up, I'm looking forward to this It will be interesting for the listener, good for you to feel better and for me to further develop this idea
It's like rehearsal every day, preparing for nothing. Which increases anxiety and you will definitely fail. Thank you for expressing your self. I go through the same, I tend to tell it to $#&* off.
I don’t know if you’re going to read this but I’m 24 and suffer from social anxiety as well. I’m on the road to getting better.I’ve never been on medication, what has helped me a lot is pure therapy. My therapist has taught me a lot about anxiety, where it comes from, why I have it, why I think and act the way I do, and what to do when I experience social anxiety. Once I learned all that, I’m more aware of it and can make some changes on my every day life. I’m sending you all the best wishes and hope it gets better soon. You’re not alone! :)
Good luck on your way of overcoming social anxiety!
Did you did something for social anxiety , can you please tell me what you did
You'll probably never read this comment, but let me tell you something. The older you get, you'll realize that if you have even one true friend, you are very lucky. Everyone else is just an acquaintance. Focus on building your life and career. The rest will fall into place.
Was going to say something similar, im 40 and last time i had 'friends' was 20 years ago and was gonna say people just become acquaintances or collegues.
I am 29 turning 30 this year. I didnt understand why some of my close friends that I have had for years started to become distant. For a while I was sad but I quickly realized that people change and life changes and along with it people will drift away. I cherish the close friends I have in this stage of my life because they have been at my side at my worst and at my best.
I want to interject here. “Things” fall into place but relationships don’t just “fall into place”-intentionality does matter. Forcing something is different but, definitely intentionality is key in BUILDING anything. Be you! Be true! But be brave and intentional
I have social anxiety and things I have found that make it worse are negative self talk and comparing yourself to others. Things that have helped are finding hobbies I enjoy and joining small groups. I'm also going to try microdosing with psilocybin.
Totally agree
I'm socially awkward, i spent so much time on my own that i forgot how to converse with people. I make inappropriate jokes and say edgy stuff thinking others will laugh but now i just keep quiet and use small answers.
my life
^
Same
No dont do that just beacuse you feel akward just be you. You will find someone that will laugh att your innapropriate edgy jokes. I have one friend like this and i just love her and i just take others for what they are..and i laugh to bad jokes or at jokes that People dont. 🤣 love it so dont stop find your People.
Yep. The *worst* thing to DO is to 'Try to be funny' . 'Trying' just makes 'Bad' jokes, people get 'annoyed' , 'Bored', 'Sick of his wise ass bull, Maybe he's 'Targeting ME'...Bam, Boing, Bam. I 'Still' do that, most is just *Not fen Funny* so, therefore, IT is 'Annoying' even 'Maddening' to some.
Thanks for sharing from a mother who has been dealing with this with my son since he was 17 and is now almost 21. The way you explained this really helped me to understand him better and how he is feeling as he dosent say much to me. He has started slowly getting out, exercising which I can see is making a differnce. Wishing you good luck in your endeavour to overcome this and I truly believe you will, XX
‘I want to be social but I’m an introvert at the same time’ I relate so much to that
I relate 100%
I’m 30 and don’t have friends and don’t care either. I enjoy my life time
even when you have someone to talk with, they don't care about your feelings and beliefs, people are so selfish nowadays, that's why we are all alone.
Same 22, and I realized all my “friends” were one sided relationships. They kept me close, because I was the only one who was responsible/smart. Aside from my 3 close cousins mom, sister, and dad
I'm 40 and have zero friends. People are fake AF and most people just disappoint me anyway, so in turn I'm a lone wolf and I don't care I actually feel better being by myself.
Sometimes I really need to read stuff like this lol
@@mrjonni3684 Not always the case.
I’m 23 and I feel like I don’t have friends either. I know a lot of people but I don’t feel like they are friends. No one messages me first to talk or hang out it’s always me. I’m so done putting more effort than everyone to become friends. I always wished I had a big group of friends. Oh well I always have me, myself & I
I am in this comment and I don’t like it. Ppl never txt me first lol
You don't need em.
@@JM-dp1nl lol it didn’t work for me I just stopped talking to them
It’s alright. Your not alone. Same boat. Just go hike a lot or focus on work and take trips by yourself. You can reinvent yourself
wow... same for me
Listening to you talk about not having close friends at 25 made me feel so sad. You are a beautiful person and feel like hugging you and tell you things will get better. You just need to slowly push yourself to go out and be more socialable. It is hard but i think things will work out for you. Good things do happen to good people. It will happen!!!!
I couldn’t even talk for 14 minutes into a camera and post it online, I have no pictures of myself on any social media and always feel like when I talk to people I come across in a way that’s wrong, I can’t even type this properly like how it is in my head
:’))
I understand, you seem to over-analyze yourself just like I do when it comes to myself. I do it when I talk, draw, sing- just about everything. And then I wondered, why do I only do this to myself and never anybody else? Not that I want to do this to anybody else. But the point is why am I critiquing myself so badly?
I always overthink everything I do or say even typing this i had to re typed it like 10 times so I don't sound weird(but still sound like one)
I know this feeling all to well I refuse to use social media tbh and I always feel like when I try to talk to someone even by just saying hello to themnthst ive somehow managed to rub them the wrong way it makes me feel like a freak
Well, you can explain exactly how I feel
With my social anxiety, I feel like I'm in my head so much like it's my own world, and when it comes to socializing it's a different world or a different reality where I'm a foreigner. It's like I've been thrown onto a different planet and am just trying to study the ways of these creatures so I can fit in and get by just like anyone else. It's so exhausting.
felt that hard
this makes sense, hits home.
He’s the type of guy I’d always hit up whenever I wanna hang out. What an actual humbled dude. I can pretty much relate.
Same :) he is nice and open heart :)
I truly feel for you bro because I go through the same thing.
I would consider you a friend and a brother.
One thing that always held me back socially, and it is a symptom of ADHD, Asperger's and mild autism, is not picking up on social cues as well as the emotional temperature of a room or situation.
Without realizing it on a very conscious level, I would isolate myself from people because they were acting cagey and distancing themselves from me. The pain from being estranged has lasting psychological effects. And this in turn can cause us to be more self-conscious and paranoid.
“Life doesn’t give you the people you want. It gives you the people you need; to help you, to hurt you, to love you, to leave you and to help you grow into the person you are meant to be.”
Sad but true
The 🐐 ICE COLD J
life doesn't give you shit. it doesn't even give you shit, literally. you have to make your own poop. sometimes you don't even get what you need. suicide is a reality in the world, among other things.
@@Fernandez218 I like your mentality, carve your own life by your own design and the sweat from your brow you will create your destiny. Sounds like a fucking movie
@@justinwayne445 but its truth!
I’m 27 (almost 28) with social anxiety and seeing so many people in the comments deal with this as an adult makes me feel better.
im in this post, and i dont like it
Misery likes company lol
it's normal human condition, life is just not fair, keep fighting bois, mine is getting better again because I fight and think I'm gonna die but I still go talk to people, hands shaking, almost falling over, keep jumping the cliff, that's how you treat it the best, you beat your fears, you fears get better, snakes, anxiety, horror games. If you do the thing, you are afraid of, you get rewarded and it get's better.
I'm 28 and I have no friends either. Last time I met up with a friend was when I was 23 😬
I’m 25 and I have no friends due to my social anxiety
This video and comment section makes me feel so accepted. Thank you for posting and thank you to everyone that commented 🌻
I feel your pain! People suck! Whenever someone wants to be my friend its more about what they can take and not about being an actual friend. Dont think I have any answers for you, but when I see you as a person, I'm a little surprised you are having this problem.
I'm in my 40s and have been plagued with social anxiety since jr high school. I was called loner and ugly every day. I sat by myself at lunch time. My older brother was dying from cancer and I didn't know how to cope with it. I didn't talk about it with anyone and after he died, I became numb and distant. I was able to move forward later in life, but being picked on in school made me paranoid that people were secretly laughing at me. I was advised to seek help and get on meds, but I didn't want to so I started forcing myself to go out and would have to give myself pep talks in my head the whole time. I realized I was going to be ok and embarrassment was inevitable from time to time because I'm human and make mistakes, but it's not the end of the world if it happens. I hope things are getting better for you. It really is a mind thing mostly. If you can get in the habit of reassuring yourself you will be ok, it will get better.
37 here.. We are not alone.
I'm very sorry for your pain and that no one helped you when you were young. I hope your heart is alright now.
@@lisarussell8874 thank you, I appreciate that 😊. It's sad that things happen in our lives that steal our joy. I see this young guy in this video and so many others that are trying to navigate life with anxiety, and I feel it. I know that pit in the stomach feeling that hits out of nowhere and feels out of control. It feels like you're defective and people that don't have it, say insensitive things that make you feel alone. It's nice to know that there are people that understand and relate, less lonely.
Psalm 139
As someone who's about to hit 25 this Thursday, I totally understand what you're going through. The main thing I wanna say is this: I feel like alot of 20 something year olds feel this. And its only natural. People act like your 20s are this amazing, free, liberating time. What older folk never talk about is how hard it is making friends after leaving school. I've lost plenty of friends from nothing more than circumstance: people move, find jobs, new relationships, etc and drift away. We're expected to move out, find out passions and careers, find love, make tons of friends, etc. There's a shit ton of pressure to be successful and become "an adult" and to feel guilty that you're "wasting" time.
It's not you that's broken or wrong, its society and its expectations. Focus on the positives. If you have a car and can find employment, you're already ahead of the curve honestly. Set goals (both easy short term ones and longer term ones too) and ignore everything else. Use this time to improve yourself and new friends will eventually come. You never think you will be able to make a friend or even know how to, until you do. It's literally biology, humans like to connect. The fact serial killers have fan clubs means there's plenty of people in the world who don't give a shit about your past.
That being said, nothing I have said is new or unheard of. It's probably all things you've thought about before. My only real advice is that you can't let your anxiety and lack of friends become an excuse. I've seen so many people let their initial depression/anxiety/troubles bubble over and continually use it as a crutch to withdraw further and further. Don't let these feelings control you. Acknowledge them, understand them. But the light will appear at the end of the tunnel. I've battled anxiety and depression since my early 20s.
I'm almost 25 and about to earn my Associate's degree. Most of my peers/friends have long since graduated and are starting their careers and lives. I feel embarrassed about that alot, but I'm figuring out my life and battling my demons while I do. It's not easy (I just had a meltdown the other day) but you begin to realize the good days outnumber the bad. Now comes the scary part: becoming a normal human again. I still have plenty of anxiety but its reasonable anxiety rather than being irrational. It still makes me wanna panic and bolt and dumps a ton of adrenaline into me, but I just tell myself that its normal and I don't need to be so panicky, just a manageable amount. But I'm realizing I'm rambling and that this is more of an encouragement but hang in dude! I always told myself that in the future, we gonna look back at moments like this and laugh. It's these experiences that help us become adults and keep us humble.
Do yourself a favor and figure out to heal your soul. Listen to music, create art, go on walks, volunteer! Use this crisis as an opportunity to get to know yourself and the importance of mental health and support systems/coping skills! Good luck brother!
@Colt White Hang in there brother. This world wants to break you and keep you broken, keep your head up and don’t let the bad shit define you 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thank you so much for the advice even tho it wasn’t exactly directed towards me. I’m 18 and is graduating high school this may. I don’t exactly have a “friend group”, i’m that guy thats cool with anyone that shares similar interests as me. I used to be an extrovert when i was young but starting middle school up to high school, i was getting more introverted, shy, somehow developed social anxiety( maybe it was depression, i didn’t want to diagnose myself) i used to love doing things but gotten tired and less motivated to go out, try in sports, etc. I don’t exactly know what to major yet in college or what career i want bc of the many dozens of life factors that are in. I have this anxious feeling that i will not be able to talk to my friends anymore since they have started to work on their own path, (which i respect). We went into quarantine last march and now my whole senior year has been online. Any advice or ideas could you give me?
Wow beautiful comment🥰
Thanks so much for sharing all of this!! It's so wholesome, wise, and I needed it a lot... Seeing it has made me feel like I am seeing things so much clearer. It is beautiful
@@urekmazino2047 First off: Realize that COVID really sucks for certain demographics: little kids in elementary school, upperclassmen in HS, and underclassmen in college. Those are really important, formative years and you guys especially are getting the short end of the stick.
That being said, I’m really hesitant to give life advice over the internet because I don’t know your circumstances. I specifically wrote my original post to be rather broad and open because of the fact I’m no expert nor do I know anyone’s story.
That being said I will say that we tend to treat high school to college as a pipeline. If I redid things, I would have definitely taken a gap year just to live life a bit. At that age, we’re still incredibly young and inexperienced, we just haven’t seen enough of life yet or met/talked with enough strangers.
Work a minimum wage shitty job! Use it to motivate you to do better both in goals and in life. Use the opportunity to learn things about yourself and people in general. (If you ever worked a customer service type job, you’ll walk away with some good life skills: patience, professionalism, politeness, etc) Volunteer! You’re young and literally useful for countless things. Volunteer for a relative or a family friend, to help with chores or projects. Try and help your community in a tangible way.
But most importantly, strive to understand your tendencies, your weaknesses, your strengths. For instance I know I have inherited anger management issues from my father. I therefore try to always keep cool and deliberately force myself to understand the person I’m angry at. I know I’ll naturally find a million reasons to be upset, which is why it’s so much more important for me to find reasons not to be upset.
In concert with the above, interact with people outside your bubble. As humans, we tend to surround ourselves with likeminded people. As a rule of thumb, that’s a bad idea. Social media and quarantine have made those bubbles even smaller and worse.
Talk to older adults (if you know anyone elderly, straight up ask em, what would you do if you were 18?) Babysit some children. Try and befriend folk who have opposite views from you. The more you interact with people, the more you’ll see and understand that despite what the media says and how we all feel, people are good at heart. I believe that. We all have moments when we fail and crack but all the more important to judge each other on our best moments, not the worst.
Oh and don’t forget to just sit back and enjoy the roses and view sometimes. You’re young, don’t be afraid to be reckless sometimes and make memories. Life is too short and full of reasons to keep you down, not to seize those moments for you.
not even trying to act “sad,” but this hits way too close to home. this comment section just shows that you, me, or anyone aren’t the only people who go through this, and it isn’t just a tiny percentage of people. hopefully we can improve it, and it’s insane that you’re even THIS open about it. both motivational and inspirational.
Once you have God the father and accept Jesus everything gets better
@@rileydockery379 IKR!
That's why it was in your recommended.
@@rileydockery379 they aren’t! That is what works for them! It’s no different from someone telling someone to do deep breathing exercises or meditate! Sharing one’s experience, strength, hope and what works for them is called advice or help. Settle down with the anti God for like 2 seconds! Perhaps you should listen and not automatically shut it down🤷♀️
The prime time for people to cultivate deep and long lasting friendships is during high school and college. Once you enter the workforce and/or start a family, it becomes very difficult to make friends. There is nothing wrong with you. Between your career and family, you will have little time to cultivate new friendships outside of work. May be you can become friends with your next door neighbors, but thats about it. Don't be so hard on yourself.
I have social anxiety as well and it sucks when your in a room full of people and everyone is talking and visiting with each other and your just standing there alone and no one talks to you, it really gets you down. And it sucks when people don't understand social anxiety or anxiety in general.
Just learn to not take life so seriously. Just talk shit and find humour in things.
Like he was talking about how he gets this rush of fear and he thinks people knows he is being socially anxious. You have to overcome that first initial rush and keep trying. Eventually you will learn more about yourself and how to communicate properly. I used to be the most outgoing kid you could meet then i started getting social anxiety as bad as it gets. Over the years ive learned to be more aware of it. Although im still not as outgoing as i once was, I am more comfortable with myself. When you are aware of it and dont allow it to control your actions you start to gain control over it. I promise you.
These replies are exactly why I hate people.
@@trxphywaifalt Yep so true, fake people, and people like us see them for what they really are
Man do I got it bad, its pretty ridiculous at times...
The hardest part is seeing relationships with close friends and family break down, like your so awkward around then it damages the relationship and the quality of conversations you have
@@iangpark I 100% get what you mean, when I'm tipsy I can talk and joke with anyone it feels so good, at one point I was drinking around half a bottle of rum a day if not more but I ruined my mental health even more. I barely drink these days unless I go out with friends but I feel my anxiety has got worse. I hope one day everyone here who struggles with anxiety figures out how to control it and find their true self. It feels horrible knowing I'm not even a shadow of my former confident self in school. Good luck to you on your journey and I wish you all the best with your mental health, thinks do get better and don't let anyone make you feel bad about your anxiety👍🏽
Congratulations, today’s your lucky day because I used to be the epitome of social anxiety. I blamed it on anything and everything, weed, alcohol, nicotine, my diet, my past, my school, my country, my place of work etc. in ultimate desperation to find the culprits. Doing so did not serve me what so ever. It bread resentment to everything and everyone around me. Do not do this.
This is the solution. And I promise you that if you do this it will help IMMENSELY. Fears are funny in that they grow when we fold to them, when we give in to them, they get bigger, they get stronger and they get that much more powerful. From here on out you will take EVERY. SINGLE. OPPORTUNITY. To look your fears in the eyes. What does this mean you may ask (as it relates to social anxiety)? That means to put yourself in terrifying social situations over and over and over and over. An old friend calls and wants to hang out... naturally, your fucking terrified. Tough shit. You go and see that friend regardless of how you feel about it. You were awkward ? You were weird ? Perhaps you burned that bridge. BUT, you are now slightly (and I mean slightly) less afraid. Fucking awesome! Your doing great. Now wake up again and repeat for 6 months. Say yes to every single outing (especially those that you notice bread fear).
You will slowly begin noticing that your social anxiety is disappearing. You will come to the realization that you are not on this earth to be a perfect people pleaser. You are on this earth to be YOU, fearful, flawed, unresolved, sad, happy, courageous YOU.
Naturally, some days will be easier than others. Much MUCH easier. But the important thing is to keep on going and keep on looking and seeking out situations that make you fearful, and face them HEADON.
I’m sorry your going through this. This probably isn’t 100% your fault, it is however 100% your responsibility to get over it for your friends, your family, and most importantly yourself.
Hope this helps and have a great day. :)
@@MarkHenryTheWrestler thankyou, I hope you're doing well and i hope you enjoy everything life has to give. Slowly, I'll learn to aswell👍🏽
@@iangpark yessss I feel like that around my cousins and family and it’s almost like I feel the need to be drunk or tipsy to be comfortable
@@joecolclough3775 yessss I agreee I can say I have done the same exact thing !
21 here and have no social circle in real life whatsoever. I can relate to you hard.
I'm 21 too and I feel ya
I'm 20 and I can't even imagine living another year without any kind of relationship. It's so fucking hard
Same 💯💯 21 no friends .. no social life 😕
May God bless you and be with you.
I share this.
John 14: 21 He who has My (Jesus) commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” 22 Judas (not Iscariot) *said to Him, “Lord, what then has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world?” 23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. 24 He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father’s who sent Me.
John 21: 24 This is the disciple who is testifying to these things and wrote these things, and we know that his testimony is true.
25 And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they *were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself *would not contain the books that *would be written.
John 7: 37 Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “[g]If anyone is thirsty, [h]let him come to Me and drink. 38 He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From [i]his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” 39 But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.
Where can one start reading The Bible?
In The New Testament: The Gospel of John and/or Acts.
about existence of God:
ua-cam.com/video/BljrAME1LLw/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/7c9PaZzsqEg/v-deo.html
about Scriptures, videos are in English:
jezus.simplesite.com/435491565
Romans 6: 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
lets form watsapp group
Same! 25 too, life is full of surprises. Thank you for your courage in speaking out! God bless brother