How To MOVE ON From A NARCISSIST & Get Over The End Of A CRAZYMAKING RELATIONSHIP | Lisa A. Romano
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- Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
- When you secretly want the narcissist to choose you! Stop this crazymaking! Life Coach Lisa A. Romano Codependency Recovery and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Expert www.lisaaroman...
When you end a relationship with a covert narcissist who uses crazymaking communication against you, you may be tempted to secretly want to win the narcissist back. You may secretly want the narcissist to choose you over the new source of narcissistic supply. If this sounds like you, it is time to wake up and know that being chosen by a narcissist is NOT a good thing!
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Lisa A. Romano is a Life Coach and bestselling author who specializes in helping people reclaim their lives through ascending old thought patterns and healing faulty childhood subconscious programs. She is an expert in the fields of codependency, narcissistic abuse, and elevating consciousness. She is also one of the most popular meditation teachers on Insight Timer and is the creator of the 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program. If you feel invisible, unworthy, and lack a sense of self or purpose, Lisa's work in the field of personal development can help you gain the self-awareness required to breakthrough.
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Thanks for watching How To MOVE ON From A NARCISSIST & Get Over The End Of A CRAZYMAKING RELATIONSHIP | Lisa A. Romano
#crazymaking #narcissist #covertnarcissist #selfhelp #personaldevelopment #mentalhealth
You have to love yourself like you are your own child, marry the man you want your son to be, marry the woman you want your daughter to be ❤️
So true and beautifully well said
Love urself amen
I still care, a lot, about the narc that discarded me. I also realize that it's a combination of my codependency, abandonment trauma, etc all pulling my emotions to those FEELINGS. I'm learning to work through this. It's hard, really hard but I know there's no other thing to do but the inner work to get through it.
The fact that you acknowledge this shows you are way ahead in your battle of facing those demons, aka codependency, abandonment trauma and I think this is why we all get obsessed and draw in narcs in our life. You are on a good path
@@OlympiaSophie thank you for those kind words.
@Rose Jenny thank you!
Dealing with the same, it’s crazy hard!!!
Same here. It hurts.
You can never be the chosen one because in the mind of the Narc, that position is reserved solely for them.
Wow,Put this on a shirt..
Hi Mary 👋 I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? you can text me your mail so i can message you. Thanks God bless you….
I made a conscious decision in recent weeks to “discard & go no contact with this individual”, now I place my focus on myself & how I can break free of these destructive patterns of co-dependency & not waste one more second of my time on “what he is doing or who he is with”, I do not want that type of person in my life anymore!
Feel like I'm going insane! I'm with a vulnerable narc..we have a toddler and I feel like I've aged 10 years..he's never accountable for any of his behaviours
Magenta Moon Narcs are NEVER accountable for a doggone thing
It will only get worse. Save you & your child. Or that baby can be targeted by a Narc and have their light extinguished. Binge watch Ms. Romano. Watch videos more than once. You will get triggered & miss important info. I hit rewing a lot.
@@clusterbfreekarynsmith2190 binge watching her and Angie Atkins
That is their greatest power tool, making YOU feel insane, instead of us seeing how insane they are. It's really sad
Yeah I know the feeling. I'm going to be 30 but I felt more like a 27 year old. This past month I feel like aged years.
I spent 7 years with a grandiose and then went right into a covert narcissist relationship. 10 years gone but I’m out and have your videos
Becky Hancock For me, 5 years with an overt and 2 1/2 years with a covert, the pendulum swing. OMG please let me to have learned the lessons. I needed this particular video today. Thank you Lisa.
Hi Becky 👋 I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? you can text me your mail so i can message you. Thanks God bless you….
HAD an IQ of 130 - over three decades ago. Memory loss, confusion, cognitive dissonance, sleep deprived. Before, spiraling down heard you explain the confusion & gaslighting. Binged on you for weeks. Thank God for you!
Oh my god I feel like my IQ has dropped significantly..I'm angry constantly..my PTSD and anxiety is crazy and he has taken the light out of parenting ..we have a 2 year old ..I've been saving money secretly to escape from this monster!
Magenta Moon leave soon, watch Rebecca Zung (divorcing a narcissist)💐
KARYN SMITH-ROBERTS wow, a few years ago I went thru this with my Nex. I thought I was losing my marbles...
@@safehaven3949 Amazing. After the 'Ah hah!' moment - the fog clears... and you hear an Angel saying "Namashtae, Dear Ones".
Now there is an angelic light in the tunnel.
@@ishtarbabylon4869 Get out asap. Every day Mommy is unhappy, your baby suffers silently. If Narc goes into a meltdown...DV shelter. Keep a bag at home or better somewhere else with snacks, dried fruit & water. Change of clothes,, blanket, toiletries, medicines & some cash, plus coins for rare pay phone. Breathe, pray, run & NEVER go back. None of that, 'for the baby's or 'want the other parent in their lives'. Get the child a therapist, supervised visitations only, until you can stop visits. Check out Rebecca Zung - Top 1% Attorney & Narc Buster. Binge on this channel & check others. Praying for y'all.🛐🙏📖✝️
There are not any winners in a relationship with a narcissist, only losers by varying degrees. Count your losses and try to get out while you are sane.
You are so right, I am holding onto the fake promises of life together, how we were going to get married on the beach, decorate the home together, grow old together.. Boy oh Boy did he fool me!
I was chasing the carrot 🥕 and missing the fake life we NEVER had.
This video was so timely! Thank you so much Lisa 🙏🏾❤️💝💓
Proud of you. Taken me 33yrs marriage to Covert Narc. Leaving end of the month. Life has to be better Narc free.
@ KARYN SMITH-ROBERTS
“When the devil can’t reach you.” He sends a Narcissist.
@ KARYN SMITH-ROBERTS
Proud of you too!! At least you got OUT!!🥳🥳🥳
@@clusterbfreekarynsmith2190 No matter the time frame, the fact that you left means you can start living the life you deserve, instead of trying to live up to someone else's. Be proud of yourself
get out right now
I'm staying off!!!! I used to think all people were good. Man how my mean ass family have changed me. Estrangement changes a person. If for the bad, I'm sorry. But I will never let myself be abused again in my life, even from estranging children that are under the ex hubbies spell. They are grown and know better. They know I was an excellent mother, as well as the ex step sister in law and ex mother in law. I'm done with this mean ass family. Done.
And you are exactly right, I did want the narcissist to "chose" me but guess what! I learned a great lesson and I'm stronger for it. Thank you for your wonderful insight. I appreciate you!
You know who you are better than anyone else. Narcs have this ability to convince others that you are something different than you portray, but what I've learned having been and still being surrounded by narcissists is that those who truly see you, will stand with you. Hang in there, the fact that you say you're done means that you;ve gotten over the hardest part ❤
Good for you! All you do is lose yourself over and over again. Im sorry you had kids with that demon. Because thats all they are. Demons! I'll pray for you and YOU WILL find someone that deserves you!🙏JUST STAY AWAY...
go girl
Yea it's a cold world
It was only recently, when I finally met a kind loving man, that I realised that I had been settling for second best for three years with someone who would never be the man I wanted, and never wanted to be in a loving relationship. I had become accustomed to accepting a dysfunctional relationship as 'normal'. Now I can see it for what it was.
HOWS IT GOING?
I'm in a "relationship" with a Narcissist. My boyfriend uses gaslighting to his advantage. I'm emotionally drained from him intentionally starting arguements, accusing me of taking his things, being passive aggressive towards me and treating me like as an object. When it's convenient for him and if it benefits him that's when he becomes lovie dovie. I have pulled away, ignored his behavior and avoided him but he just gets angry with me. He's only nice when he needs something from me. He always seems to draw me back in . The tug of war games begins with the hot/cold person he is. I can't handle this repeating cycle again. Being BORDERLINE,HAVING ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION is the perfect way to mess with my wellbeing since he can turn my moods off, having control of my emotions,thoughts and self awareness. I don't feel like myself anymore.
I hope your doing well now, I have choose to leave and am praying to stay strong and never go back to him again.
Leave him asap. Everyday you stay together you're losing more and more of yourself and what you could offer the right person.
Nailed it!!! "The goal is to become the chosen one". I was about to email you and ask you about this, why do I still want him to choose me, even though my mind KNOWS he is no good for me. Or anyone, but ok. :) I mean, the guy is a pathological liar, cheater, bully... you name it! Why on earth am I still attracted to this person? Whenever I think about him and her, the pain is physical. I know it is the abandonment trauma being triggered. What can I do about it? You have been reading my mind, pretty much. Thank you for this video, from the bottom of my heart!
My life right now. I know logically going back is certain emotional and spiritual death for me. The pain is so incredibly physical. I just want to live a life without panic and dread. Im suffering with thoughts of her being with the other woman she cheated on me with. I want to win. What am i winning truly. More hurt....its so tough.
Same here!!’ He ghosted me 4 months ago. I’m in pain still. And I miss him everyday
I feel you so much, but think about it are you attracted to that person or are you attracted/obsessed with the idea and the feeling that you have for him? Seriously look at him and think "Does this person make me happy?" or "Do I feel safe and at peace with this person" and even the most obvious one "Do I still feel sexually attracted to this person?". It may seem silly to you, but once I asked myself those questions I realized I was attracted to the feeling I had for him, not the actual person.! Of course you want him to choose you, I mean we all want that validation. Your mind is saying to get out now it's a matter of what your heart is telling you....
@@katnhanmom It is tough, I felt like a masochist when this happened to me because if you know you are hurting then how can you expect to win. Unfortunately you can never win WITH a narc, but you can walk away. it just hurts aa looottt
@@katnhanmom My thoughts exactly. I cannot stand the pain and the rumination and the energy it is taking me. I feel so stupid for not being able to just be genuinely disgusted with everything he is doing. I mean, the guy is the definition of an a**hole!!! It's just driving me crazy and I know I am the problem; this someone I should just no longer want in my life! And yet here I am, fantasizing how wonderful things could be. And I know, cognitively, that they wouldn't, no matter what. I feel like a complete loser when it comes to this. Ugh...
I didn't even realize my ex was a narc until I stood up to him and he disappeared because he could no longer control me.
Funnily enough, all I was doing was what I felt was best for my son, and it turned out to be exactly what I needed! 😁
This is EXACTLY what we needed to hear. Detox from them is so hard
So hard
Yes it is
If somebody wins a narcissist over the jokes on them they can have that prize any day of the week your life is going to be better don’t ever look back and don’t ever call or answer or get sucked back into that dark abyss
Hi phantom 👋 I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? you can text me your mail so i can message you. Thanks God bless you….
I feel like I’m under a spell. Or like this relationship or this man is a drug. Knowing it’s bad for me. I’m having withdrawals. I cut him off cold turkey. But hoping he’ll try to reach out. Hoping he’ll say he’s done with juggling me and his baby’s mother. One second I’m so confident. Next second I’m second guessing. On second I know he’s not to be trusted next second I’m like what if he really did love me and was afraid to lose his kids and idk. It’s crazy.
It is crazy, and it is an emotional and psychological roller coaster that no one should have to endure. Break the spell and realize that you deserve more than that!
Been there...confusion is not a spirit of God
It's like withdrawl for real. You know what you know. Now care more about you than him. The don't change and they don't, can't love. They don't love themselves. They always use the baby Momma and kids as an excuse for anything they don't want to deal with. When you get away, you will see just how crazy he was making you. Research cognitive dissonance. There is plenty of info on this disorder. He was classic. His pic could have been above the words I was reading.
Delores Brimley thank you so much. This comment is so helpful. I will research that now. So I can come to an understanding and heal better. It’s hard to understand how a person can be such an amazing actor and be so heartless. So convincing. And it all means nothing.
Delores Brimley I know that I was looking for him to validate me. I was looking for him to choose me so that I feel like I’m worth something. I thought I loved myself but I realize I don’t. So I needed him to love me or I felt empty. I’m glad I’m forced to learn this about myself to break the unhealthy toxic cycle. I’ve accepted his treatment and just try to be better or convince him to want me. Instead of realizing I don’t have to deal with that and I’ll live without him just fine.
Have you been stuck worrying about who the narcissist might be with you after you?
Yes, I fear she is grooming one of my friends. Ugh! I don’t care who she chooses as long as it’s not a friend. I’m in early post breakup stage and am working hard to stop caring what she’s doing or who her next love supply will be. Your videos are helping me to stay on track during this withdrawal.
Yes!!!!!
I’m Not really worried for the new guy. her replacement supply is a convicted thief and con artist and she is fully aware of that fact. It really just proves she’ll go to any piece of crap that serves her purpose and says what she wants to hear. It’s not worth being in her good books if that’s the only entry requirement. Should be entertaining to see how this ends up for her though.
Narcisistic treat people as objects, they ask: what benefits can I get from this person? Codependents ask themselves: what can I do to this person for him to validate me and give me worth? So...it´s marry in heaven, but only for the narc personality, he is finding a slave to fullfill his needs an make him feel like a king. The balance is in the middle, these too play on the extremes sides
Hi Isa 👋 I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? you can text me your mail so i can message you. Thanks God bless you….
I was with my narc for only three months and he didn't like me to spend time with family/friends so it was just me and him mostly. We did have a lot of fun together for the first month or so and then the gaslighting, lying, passive-agressive behavior started and I realized what he was. Then he started pulling away and I feel I was about to be discarded so I beat him to the punch and blocked him on everything. It's only been four days No Contact. This weekend was really hard. I feel so alone. It's very painful at night. I know I have to keep NC to heal and I am not tempted in the least to go back to him though my heart still misses him. Thank you for your videos,they are really helping me get through this as well as reading everyone's comments.
You're such a strong person, I wish I could be like you. Great things are already on your way, God bless.
Did you manage to leave him for good? I've been in and out of a relationship with one for a few years now. I need to get out and stay out but it's very tough! The feelings of missing him are very real, even though there's really nothing to miss but missery and heartache!
@@danielleroberts3335 I went back for five months and then finally ended it for good. Within five days he was posing with some tramp on FB. We are easily replaced and he is not worth your time. I missed him a lot in the beginning but knew he would destroy me and I miss him NOTATALL anymore. And yeah, nothing to miss. You can do this! I joined a lot of anti-narc FB groups and watched YT videos to keep me strong.
I got to admit I did want to be the chosen one and thought this narc was the prize a few years ago. Now there is no way I want to be the chosen one. Any situation with the narc is a miserable one. My goal now is to build myself up and feel better.
Everybody is WONderful, everybody is AWEsome!!.....that’s totally me.....WAS me.....now I’m quarantine hiding and HEALING 💯💯💯now 1 🚩🚩🚩 & they’re gone from my life.....can’t thank you enough Lisa💐
Believe me, I am not making excuses for these people but they're not like us, not like normal people. You should not try to change them. Just get away from them.
I LOVE THIS VIDEO! Thank you for helping me to realize that getting away is the prize! Not the abusive bullying narcissist! He will never change!
Hi Summer 👋 I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? you can text me your mail so i can message you. Thanks God bless you….
The facts: She never asked me one question about myself or my past, she mentioned other men constantly which I ignored, she got excited about gossip and was playing multiple men, yet the feelings I had when it ended was of loss, pain emotionally. At the same time I had an enormous amount of time and space to myself again and to figure out what I need to work on, I've been doing some more work inward and outward i.e. gym, etc. It's been tough because I was so parched for love and connection that I took really bad love and was ready to take it in the hope of making it something better.
Please, this is the worst feeling ever a person could feel. How to get out of this!?
Run
This lady KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT SHE IS TALKING ABOUT!!!!! she just described me.
She made me run the right direction I was running the wrong direction
You have no idea how much your videos have helped me. Please keep making them and helping woman open their eyes, and heal.
I bought a sailboat to occupy my mind! 😎 Something I have always wanted to do. Love ya and thank you Lisa! ❤️⛵️
As always, thank you for opening my denying eyes.
Yes me to
Me too!!!
Same here
I know this sounds codependent af but I worship you dear one beautiful woman and the only thing that I'm worried about now is projecting
Allison roehm, don’t worry about projecting because you know the narc will do it. So prepare. Do some role playing and practice being objective. Then you don’t have to worry because you are prepared.❤️
Hi Allison 👋 I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? you can text me your mail so i can message you. Thanks God bless you….
I needed this! There’s nothing harder then going through this kind of relationship!
I keep getting this simple, calm message, "just let go".....
It be like me having cancer and the doctor telling me it’s fully gone but if you want it back you can have it .... uhhhhhhh NO !!!!
Trina LovingME It’s a good thought when we feel like wanting the narc back in our life ! 👍🏻
I definitely am guilty of joining the competition... of showing them I’m the better woman... Lisa I can’t say it enough... you have changed my life... I’m happy I found you...
The information she provides is so eye opening, exactly what I need to hear to wake up from the slumber, I just started learning about narcissism after over 30 years of marriage and it is sad to know you invested yourself in a relationship that was only one way street, that you were taken advantage of for being so kind hearted and gullible. To the people out there that are in this kind of relationship, run as fast as you can away from these people, it never gets better, the hurts they inflict on you get worst and worst throughout the years and one day you painfully realize you wasted your entire life,,, only that small thing. Run.
You Decide You Just Can’t Live With The
Torment Of Being In A Relationship With A Narcissists.
You First Have To Accept That This Person Is Never Gonna Change,
You Have To Disconnect From Them .Blocking Cell Phone Numbers.Blocking Them From Everything.
They Will Never Stop 🛑!!
But mine did stop for four months now and it is killing me because all of our dance events -he is missing with me as dance partners so he could sabotage my shag 💃dancing ! It is all satanic 👺or else we could be together feeling happy verses broken hearted 💔 😡😡🥶🥶🥵🥵🥵🥵😡😡😡
This truly is a sick individual that we have to hurt to get over 😡😡😡😡
Please help us, Lord! 🙏✝️🙏👱♀️🌴 we were targeted
Amen. Walk out, erase all pictures, get new clothes, never look back. And breathe. TYJ.✝️🙏
@@WATERLULU5818691 Jesus has your back. May be old timey, corny & no funky beat, but:🎵 "What a friend we have in Jesus.".🎶😎🛐📖
But what if they do change for the new supply and I got the worsted part of him. But yes I blocked 9 my months ago no contact. 23 years gone wasted 😢
It's been 29years for me but 4 blessed children now all grown now I am ready no n-c this week thank you Jesus Christ amen he saved my life I own it all to him he keep us safe now going to write a book of my life story what a lessons be sober mind
Aloha from Honolulu. Escaping July 21, 2030. About to do your recovery course. Easy to leave, never coming back. WOKE.
I was played by narcissist once wont happen again
Very accurate. I thought at one point, narc or avoidant, who knows, that if he did the work, I'd listen but of course, he'll never do the work.
I was in a crazymaking relationship. For 20 years. The last 7 were totally insane. I didn´t even know what I was thinking. He died 5 years ago and just now I realize: he was a hopeless case. I put all my energy and time in a hopeless case. He was sick in his head. I would say: ´There´s something wrong in your head.´His answer a three-hour monologue in which he explained why I was the one with the problem. Don´t ever start a conversation with a narcissist, they´re hopeless cases. I´m no longer a rescuer. Never again!
I am so happy I found you. I've watched 100s of videos but yours have been the guiding light to the darkness I was stuck in. It's still fresh only been a matter of days but listening to you gives me the strength to stay away. I was in love with this man for over 35 years and got back together with him 3 years ago. It's been really rough I even moved to a different state to be with him. He's made me homeless but I will survive as long as I stay away from him. Thank you for your guidance and helping me see the light again.
Hi Jeanne 👋 I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? you can text me your mail so i can message you. Thanks God bless you….
Its so amazing & astonishing how much I denied MYSELF, and put the narc needs before my own. I did everything I didn't feel stupid enough to do, to attempt to prove that "it should be me",...I should be the one YOU choose. I felt I needed to be this, and needed to be that to ensure I get the relationship with this person. SMH!! Thank God it was only 6 1/2 months!!! But it still been a process of coping with this narc addiction.
This is so unbelievably helpful. Thank you so much. I feel exactly like this. I am going to replay this every day until it sinks in.
Hi Amy 👋 I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? you can text me your mail so i can message you. Thanks God bless you….
Wow! Thank you Lisa! You gave voice and definition to my thought process! I realized, but didn't realize, what I am doing...if that makes sense. In other words I needed this frame of reference to define what I am doing. The only difference is that he is someone with high covert narcissistic traits/tendencies but has actually admitted, sincerely, to having hurt me and said I am sorry. Therein lies the hook. I know actions speak louder than words and that's what I need to pay attention to instead of future faking myself. Trust me I do bite back. I do stand my ground. I will continue working on me and making sure that I am solid and not functioning from an attitude/place of less than. I WILL be watching this video many more times. Thank you again!
They are master manipulators. Saying I'm sorry while continuing to do what they do. Apologies with no sincerity.
@@deloresbrimley4175 I don't think you can lump all of them into one group. Someone with full blown NPD are just what you described. I stated he has some traits and tendencies. Big difference there. Trust me been there done that for a long while and can read the difference. Learned the hard way. I'm not with him anymore anyway. But I am still working my way through healing. Thanks for the input though.
I think you answered all of my questions in one video. Wow. And no, I don’t want to be the chosen one of a narcissist anymore after 4.5 years of teetering on the edge.
Same here girl. We can do it!
I’m all those things..talk about a target on my back! Realization has made me an angry, mean person ..I’m afraid I’m becoming him! I’m just so angry looking back at 25 yrs with reality glasses on...it’s ugly & im so mad at ME! & him. I’m trying to let it go & move on quickly! I’m done enabling, fixing, taking care of & being terrorized!
YES! I am feeling the same thing. He has turned me into someone I AM NOT! I am saying things I would NEVER say before he came into my life and gaslighted me making me think I needed to say these things to people or call them out on little crap that didnt even matter. I think its all part of isolating me by trying to make me lose my friends and family. I am 20 years into this marriage. 3 kids and I cannot for the life of me figure out a way out. I have so many medical issues and haven't worked in quite a few years (of course he has no sympathy/empathy for my daily suffering from multiple medical issues). I am just surviving right now for the sake of my kids. One day its all going to blow but I fear his reactions, vindictiveness etc. So for now I am stuck!
I miss the man I thought he was, not the man he turned out to be. He lied so much and so often if he told me it was 610am I would have to check the clock to make sure it was correct. I don’t want him to come back or contact me. I want to recover from a relationship that never was and work on my abandonment issues so I don’t keep going through this. I’m tired and I have no trust left in me for anyone.
These videos (specifically the ones pertaining to alcoholics) have helped me face a incredibly hard, painful truth about someone in my family. It's been years, the gaslighting and the HOPE (almost certainty) that they'll change for you because they (are supposed to) love you; they'll do the right, albeit difficult, thing because it's you they are hurting (they're supposed to love me, right?). PLUS, if it's not you that's going to weather the abuse to see them through, who else will? You pushed me to ask myself WHEN this will end; when is enough enough? I've been bearing this enormous weight for someone for so long and sacrificed so much... Your voice has helped me not only reflect on and understand my relationship, but, perhaps more importantly, helped me feel that I am not alone. You're a light in the dark, Lisa. Thank you. God Bless you.
Your validation does not stand on the narcissist wanting you back
Your own your own validation
Your straight up truth speaking helps me balance out all the self-denying “compassion” I have swallowed that kept and keeps me in relationships with narcissistic people. Thanks for the lists in this one. They give me step by step stairway out of the dungeon, knocking out the cruel experiences, offering clearer and clearer views
I am on this situation!!! so vulnerable and waiting to be chosen :( Thank you for this video, very enlightening!!
I 'chased the carrot' for 15 years. Ive recently discovered 'narcissism' online. While I feel foolish for doing this for so long, Im wide awake to the reality of her dirty lifestyle. Im ready n to start 2024 with a bright new outlook on life!
Lisa I never thought I would get through this, but I did!!!!!!!!!!! Thank God and thank God for you and your life’s experiences because I know you know and understand, thank you so very very much for for your kindness and generous giving!!!!!!
Hi Janice 👋 I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? you can text me your mail so i can message you. Thanks God bless you….
Lisa can I give you a hug? You just gave me such validation for everything I’ve experienced for the last 30 years
Going through this right now. I want to leave him, but I am financially dependent on him. We lived with his mother for a year, and during that time he ignored me because she became his primary supply. Now we have moved to a new apartment, and while it is great to finally be away from her (I could see where he got his traits!), I am still stuck with him and the pandemic is making it even harder to find work so that I can be financially independent of him. He is hoovering now, gaslighting like crazy as if he didn't just ignore me for a year. I am playing along in order to keep things peaceful, but I don't believe his lies or future faking anymore. I am covertly looking for work and saving what little money I make from tutoring English and teaching beginning Russian online. He acts as if nothing happened, and I hate that he is getting away with what he did, but I know better than to try to resolve anything with him. He doesn't self-reflect and he doesn't ever change.
I can't imagine how horrible this must be for you😞 The pandemic has brought out the worst in some people and in relationships. Try and invest all your energy in tutoring English, and Russian online, see how you can go further so once this pandemic is over you have a purpose. I started to change the way I viewed things and thought it's not that he is getting away with it, but that I'm starting to get my own life back while he can remain in his rotten ways. That way once you are able to leave, you know that you have already come along way building something of your own. Focus on getting out of there and not on the situation around you.
@@OlympiaSophie good advice and that is what I am trying to do.
Wow!! You are amazing!! I thank God I saw this video today because I have been on a 28 year on and off again rollercoaster with my high school sweetheart. You have given me so much clarity today!! You truly are an 👼!! God bless you for saving us empaths!!!
I've been patient hoping he would move out into his own place without having to get an eviction process started or changing locks when he does leave the house which rarely happens. I'm trying to get myself financially secure. Separated bank accounts about 5 years ago. Not 100 percent sure of the date taking that action. I'm exhausted and before I turn 60 I want to resolve the current living situation.
I can't get enough of your videos. You're so on point. I only wish I had found you earlier. God bless you. You're a gift to the world 🌍.
This is me!!
If we’re together then I can have our family together. Now living together but not together it’s so Painful. Only thing why I haven’t left besides for $$ is the fear of the pain I experienced when we weren’t together & him chasing his coworker while I was pregnant. I denied ALL my feelings & accepted behavior I would of Never thought I’d accept.
I’m fighting w/ him to agree with me that he’s talking to someone in the phone for the things he does & says but since I brought the issue up I’m creating the problem. Makes zero sense to the point I thought I was loosing my mind. The crazy thing is I’ve been chasing someone that DOES NOT care about my pain & someone I don’t even like as a person. Thank God for ACA for helping come out of denial & for these videos
I've actually had a narcissist tell me that I'm the narcissist. Meanwhile he is the one with zero empathy
This relationship is like my freaking previous addition. No joke. I have woken up from the subconscious level to a point that I'm angery that I ever accepted this sort of behavior.
My brain 🧠 continues to tink it will be different each time and it Never is, which I become disappointed, letdown then depressed. Logically I don't even want him, but then the fantasy in my head if wanting my family to work out is always there. I'm angery and dependent on him.
I do believe God will be the one to help me get where my kids and I should be.
I had a lot of “aha” moments watching this after being with one. Nicely put. Thank you.
No Way, never again. Thank you and Namaste, Lisa 💖 I became a member of your Breakthrough Warrior program and joined your fb groups today and am excited to dive into all the material you offer. I have listened to many of your yt videoes and I so appreciate you. What a journey you have been on. You are such an inspiration!! 🌺🌿🕊🙌
Perfect timing for me! Thank you Lisa💜
Hi Salmon 👋 I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? you can text me your mail so i can message you. Thanks God bless you….
Thank you for this video Lisa. You don't know how much I needed to hear all of this. You are sent from above. 💌
Great video so true - never chosen one .. just supply constantly!
After seeing this video will definitely stand up for myself and never will put up with any narcissist again
Thank you, Lisa. You’ve been there for me for years now and never failed to post exactly what I needed to hear. You have a gift. You’re my favorite of my UA-cam parents 🥰
Thank you Lisa. I am struggling so bad with this and find watching your videos and working on me has been helping me realize I can't go back.
Hi Kathryn 👋 I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? you can text me your mail so i can message you. Thanks God bless you….
Ms. Romano,
Wow! This was the story of my life. Moving on has been extremely difficult and painful. But now I think clearer. I was in fantasy world. He has only to offer heartache and pain.
I laughed out loud when you said NO NOT EVERYBODY IS AWESOME!
Hi Susan 👋 I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? you can text me your mail so i can message you. Thanks God bless you….
Omg, Lisa, you hit the nail on it’s head. The need of being the chosen one & some sick competition that I wasn’t even aware I was part of, especially that relationship was done is what kept me stuck. Also, didn’t realize how the future faking & promises in love bombing phase “programmed” me to continue hoping & dreaming of that future, despite all current evidence!
Thank you for sharing 💙
My mom is a narc, and I’ve been in a relationship with 2 narcs. I thought my mom was hard to deal with about being nit picky and controlling with cleaning and tidiness, but my 2nd narc takes the cake. 👏 Gonna try to make it short, but I think we all know that the list of all the things narcs do is really long.
He tried to control what I eat in a passive aggressive way, EVERY time he would cook food he would cook only meat and veggies, no carbs like pasta or potatoes and such. And if I asked why he wouldn’t cook any carbs, he would respond with “why can’t you just appreciate that I made dinner”, or “I don’t want to cook for you if you’re going to complain”. I ended up having to cook my own potatoes, pasta, or whatever carbs for dinner separately, for many months he refused to do it regardless of how many times I told him I enjoy carbs for dinner and would appreciate if he would make some when he cooks dinner. He was constantly trying to tell me that I should go keto, and wondered what would happen if I did, and I mean constantly! I have a very fast metabolism and with that, I am hypoglycemic. This means I HAVE to eat a high carb diet to maintain proper blood sugar levels, if I do not get enough carbs I get hypoglycemic attacks and collapse/pass out and am unable to walk. A good carb dinner prevents me from having an episode in the morning. Him knowing all of this, and even WITNESSING IT, would still try to passive aggressively force me to go carb free like him... eventually he gave up, but it was just maddening that he would just argue and argue, and spend the entire dinner convo trying to convince me how it was better for me...
Another controlling behavior was about me not using any plastic in the microwave, and using only glass. Another was about crumbs on the counter. These are just some.
I always enjoy your topics. It took me almost 8 years to do this, and I still have others in my life that I'm trying to do this, but the weird part is when you finally manage this, the first feeling that came to be is that I could finally breath, liberation I guess. Great content
So afraid to meet a narcissisist again. But I think I can recognice them now. Thanks. 🌷
Hi Marie 👋 I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? you can text me your mail so i can message you. Thanks God bless you….
So ironic that the narcs lure is the lie of how "empathic" they are. Crazy making indeed.... it's so sad
They are the masters of mind games....
Some narcs offer faux apologies
Don't Belong Here, From Another Planet Some don’t apologize at all , because “they haven’t done anything wrong “
As usual, thank you again! I've come a long way because I have chosen to listen to you. It's kind of like I was in quicksand and you are the Rope I grabbed onto.:-)
If I had looked past the smile and sweet words and did the right thing and find out about her. I would have never experience it's narcissistic person. All these things running around my head but it's hard to just let go it's hard to throw all the bad memories mixed with the good memories in the trash.
I was dating a narcissist and they were playing games and I finally finished it then he realed me in again and cut me off again then wanted contact again it was driving me insane so I’ve decided to ghost 👻 him as I know I’m better than this I had evidence that he cheated and he still denies it so I’ve had enough I need to get me. Back again x and move forward I’m staying single for a very long time maybe forever as I’m happy in my own with my kids family friends he loves himself so much but I can do better I’m not being treated like this no more I can see through him now and I’m going to move forward
His exact words: you pushed me to cheat on you
Hi Peachy 👋 I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? you can text me your mail so i can message you. Thanks God bless you….
Hello Lisa, can you please do a video on how to leave a narcissist when they control the money, or how to function in a household where the authoritative figure is narcissistic.
Thank you.
I am trying to claim some of my superannuation money so I am more financially secure and can make my escape. Is this a possibility for you?
I’ve been trying to get over The Narc not my Narc but Thee Narc for a year and a half.. I know I’m getting stronger, but It just won’t go away. The longing! I hate it! Does she miss me? No! I can’t figure out why I still want to be with The Narc if she’s so… fill in the blank.
Thank you . Yes there is evil in this world. Sometimes it takes a while to show but evil always comes to the surface at some point . Cant wait for property settlement to be done so I dont have to have anything to do with them . A little piece of me wants him to come back so I can say HELL NO !!!!lol .Just want to learn to be good enough for myself . 😍😍😍😍
Thanks Lisa! Understanding the importance of living Responsible Integrity with myself is evicting the victim mentality. Your message is not only proven and valid, but genuine. Look forward to more of your discipline.🇺🇸
This is so true about building the fantasies in your head and it was absolutely one of the toughest things I had ever done is breaking free I had to have help I wished I had known this five years sooner
Hi phantom 👋 I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? you can text me your mail so i can message you. Thanks God bless you….
Yes, that's how I was feeling. He have another girl and I'm considered the "main" but I wanted him to stop seeing her. But I started realizing that this whole situation is wrong. I'm just trying to get out now. Ugh! I just love him and yes keep feeling like I want him to choose me 😩😔
I recommend you to a man who can help you manifest whatever and whoever you want to manifest within two days🥰🥰
Whatsaap him"**
ONE THING THAT REALLY HELPS
IF YOU HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO A
NARC
CHANGE YOUR NAME BACK TO
YOUR ORIGINAL FAMILY NAME
YOU ARE SYMBOLICALLY
TAKING THEIR STAMP OFF YOU
PART OF THE HEALING PROCESS
I’ve been with him for almost 4 years. He broke up with me a little bit over a year ago, the last year I’ve been giving everything I can to be the woman he wants. He tells me everyday how I keep failing and that’s why I’m not enough for him to date me again or put a ring on my finger. He says I’m not enough to deserve love or to take me out on a date because I’m not changing into the person he wants me to be fast enough. He abuse me mentally everyday, calling me fat, an incompetent woman and a h*e every day. Every time I decide to leave, I feel this pain in my heart, I ask myself why I can’t leave if I dont want this person treating me like this, and I came across this videos and it gives me an idea on why I can’t, I want to be the prize, the perfect woman for him. This is so sad I feel so bad for crying over a person that treats me this bad, that doesn’t care about me or my me tal health, that only wants without giving anything back. Today I decided to cut ties with him, he treated me so bad, say I was going to be a h*e and that who will want me. So I’m battling my own thoughts at the moment.
This is the first video I've found that points to wanting to be the chosen one. Would love more on this topic.
This video has been so helpful! Thank you.
My oldest son is a narcissist ,and has a smear campaign going against me and my youngest son Daniel. He has his three sisters as his flying monkeys, and as outlandish as it may sound, he has managed to form several triangles. One of those triangles being ,a councilor I used to see ,her two sons,and several more triangles with relatives.. My oldest son has tried many times to turn my youngest son against me ,but thank God has not been able to. He has stalked us off and on for several years now.And if that's not bad enough, my oldest daughter had a child with the councilors son, the one I mentioned earlier. She too is a narcissist. Only by the grace of God ,have I not lost my mind ,or killed myself.
Thank you for your program. It has been an enormous help to me in putting the pieces of my broken self together.
Wow, I really needed this. Thank you so much for posting. "Being chosen" by the narcissist is no bueno for sure. Thank you again so much for what you do. 💗
I was to empathetic and sensetiv ,that's why she push me around like Garbage ,one way I have a wake up call ,it was very tough time but from today I'm happy I learn there is evil person out there ,it's never happens again..
You spoke to me! Thank you so much!
Lisa, Thank you again for your inspirational videos: Such a plethora of life experience and uplifting information.
I trust my gut now and have strict boundaries.
Thank you so much for your videos 😌🙏
You are an amazing lady and I’m sure you have helped so many stuck in a difficult lost mindset.
You deliverer uplifting advice and clear the fog .
You break everything down and clear the space in your head to see what’s really happening.
They way you explain everything, you have no idea how much you have helped and change peoples life for the best.
You are a healer and I just wanted to thank you so very much for your fun way of putting things .
You are an amazing lady and thank you so much.
You make me smile and after listening to your videos for last few years I’m a much happier and better for it.
You so funny too, I love the way to say things like
‘ Is it really a prize to be chosen by a Narcissist’
😁
You so right sister
Thank you sooo very much 🌈✨✨✨
You understand how childhood abandonment etc effects us in adulthood and I can honestly say it’s a breath of fresh air to release who we had become due to the trauma and come out the other side smelling of 🌹 roses
Thank you xo
Very good video. Thanks for the input. You are a lady who knows how things work. Please keep posting. Thanks so much.
The more I watch your videos, the better my life gets, thankyou so much
Hi lisa. 🤗🗽their are people who come across as a polly anna and I find that so confusing, they can be a rescuer and have empathy. Then you go to move, end up sick and they show their true colors. Its mind blowing. Personally I love to leave a area I lived for a year plus and know I still have close friends their but it doesnt happen typically.