Wife Wants a Divorce? Avoid These 5 Subconsciously Needy & Toxic Behaviors At All Costs

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  • Опубліковано 23 жов 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 91

  • @GeoffreySetiawan
    @GeoffreySetiawan  4 роки тому +14

    Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts?
    Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)
    💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
    🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
    🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/

  • @seanisboss777
    @seanisboss777 4 роки тому +13

    "This house is in shambles" LOL YOU GOT THAT RIGHT MAN. But theres always progress to be made. Keep your head up yall

  • @fish-on1679
    @fish-on1679 2 роки тому +8

    My situation is too long to post but after extensive prayer for many months I was led to your channel, you are the only one who speaks with clarity, without mind games, straight to the point, you are an expert on your field and you confirmed so much for me, about me that I already knew but didn't understood, I've had a recent talk with my wife who we recently moved back in after 2 months of separation, and although she still wants to move on with her life I have been working legitimately on myself and see a lot of changes, she even Commented on that. But last night she confessed to me that she's afraid it isn't genuine. You said this would happen and normally I would react , normally I'd be ultra ahypithetical, or hyper analytical, but this time I wasn't all I've learned from you came to mine and I didn't attack the character but redirected the conversation to the evniroment and changed it really quick.
    We ended up having a nice conversation fully listening to each other and it was the smoothest non emotionally driven conversation we have had since April
    It is now july.
    Thank you bro im hoping on your masterclass to learn more about my self and reframe my mindset. God bless you

  • @jonathansclafani3078
    @jonathansclafani3078 4 роки тому +13

    This is spot on my situation! Your knowledge on this subject is astonishing! It's clear to see your intentions are sincere. I've watched abt 20 videos, & every single one has been impactful. Excited for our 5step class tomorrow!

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  4 роки тому +1

      Awesome brother! Thanks for making my day. See you in the masterclass!

  • @seanisboss777
    @seanisboss777 4 роки тому +17

    Love this. Your last few videos have gotten me to the point of meeting up for the first time after three weeks of no contact with my ex partner. The "how right" vs "how long" advice absolutely gave me the strength to get to the point where I get to see the one I love again. She may be single for now but every chance I can get to be or speak with her is worth my time without doubt. Its gonna be a marathon not a sprint but I have the stamina

    • @seanisboss777
      @seanisboss777 4 роки тому +1

      Thank you Geoffrey

    • @biancamaureencruz9799
      @biancamaureencruz9799 4 роки тому +2

      Happy for you! My ex also told me tonight that he’s gonna see me this thurs or saturday. Been giving him space these days after begging him so much like days ago. It’s working I think!

    • @magaleans
      @magaleans 2 роки тому

      Hey Sean! Glad to hear that. How is your situation nowadays?

  • @DaltonCa18
    @DaltonCa18 Рік тому +1

    Ive been watching your videos for about 5 weeks now, They have helped me grow as a person without my partner in my life a tremendous amount, I thank you sincerely for putting this time and effort out here for people like me.

  • @DJizz82
    @DJizz82 3 роки тому +12

    Give your partner enough freedom & empowerment so that they can leave.
    But you want to treat them well enough so they won’t want to leave.
    - amazing thoughts!

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому

      Glad that resonates with you -- this applies to literally every aspect of life (e.g. how I treat my employees too :))

    • @taylorbee4010
      @taylorbee4010 6 місяців тому

      My fear is always that they’ll leave with their freedom

    • @taylorbee4010
      @taylorbee4010 6 місяців тому

      Like women seem to be like
      Wanting to be ignored and second
      But then
      If they are
      Why have one?

  • @sistasarita
    @sistasarita 4 роки тому +8

    Mastery! Geoffrey this is a fantastic, direct teaching. Thank you for this video.

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  4 роки тому

      Thank you for your kind words, always, and glad this resonates!

  • @richiesaul9073
    @richiesaul9073 4 роки тому +11

    Quote of the YEAR!
    Let her know she has the freedom to leave but love her in a way she won’t want to!!
    OMG .. I am soooo close to getting doing this work with you !
    I can’t wait and know it is a priority !
    Thank you again, my friend !

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  4 роки тому

      You're making me excited to taking you onboard as well :D Let's do this!

    • @richiesaul9073
      @richiesaul9073 4 роки тому

      @@GeoffreySetiawan LOL...Im almost there..

  • @rickycarter8892
    @rickycarter8892 7 місяців тому

    Gosh man your program empowers me so much. I always want so much out of life. The steps seem like that's what your program leads to. That being said, the real benefit is true growth for the full circle to gain happiness. That's so inspiring.

  • @jaspersmith5748
    @jaspersmith5748 3 роки тому +7

    I’ve been watching your videos, and you’re definitely doing this right. Keep up the good work.
    Even if I can’t repair my marriage and steer this ship from the rocks, these videos will be beneficial to me.
    Thank you.

  • @biersmorgen6609
    @biersmorgen6609 9 місяців тому

    I showed some cracks of anger and immaturity but apologized that i still have my emotions to deal with

  • @bigceasar169
    @bigceasar169 2 роки тому +4

    I wish there was a payment plan so I can undertake this course with you guys.

  • @michaelvargas82
    @michaelvargas82 3 роки тому +2

    Amazing content and perspective. Thank you again. Looking forward to your upcoming class!

  • @eexaniouseksk7703
    @eexaniouseksk7703 3 роки тому +1

    Ahh man i came here broken heart and brokeb bone due to the high stress and panic attact in a car accident. but you open my heart and eyes god bless you!

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому

      Hi, I am happy that this video has helped you and open your eyes 🙂. Really appreciate your kind words.

  • @GregMunro-m1r
    @GregMunro-m1r 6 місяців тому

    This really was the best video and highlighted alot of great points. Luv this

  • @Luvnap
    @Luvnap 3 роки тому +3

    This is really a science all this time I thought she was most of the problem and although some things I didn’t cause or start it’s about how I handled situations and the fact that I rather not engage in discussions which turns into arguments because I had conflict

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому

      Hi Brandon,
      Once you follow the right processes to change the way you communicate & interact… You will naturally see the changes in your partner also.

  • @janlaag
    @janlaag 3 роки тому +1

    This was very insightful again, thank you for sharing your brilliant content! It appears to me thoug that there may be an unresolved paradox in this type of very diffused mindset which is that to truly "rebuild the house" (and not just make it all a very "real looking" strategy) the foundamental step is to understand and accept that emotional need is real as much as the need for food or air, so wanting to hide the need under the "empowered will costume" is to hide an unresolved fear of commitment - it appears that moving one's own internal state "from need to want" is what happens but that's a cover perception, what happens is that the object of need gets replaced (the need for emotional connection gets satisfied in more indirect ways like friendship or status for instance), the emotional expectations weight perceived by the partner gets lifted and the story we tell is that "our internal state shifted from need to want" but it's a bias that covers up the fact that we didn't actually resolved the issue of mutual emotional accountability in the relationship.
    Thank you again, see you at your masterclass! (:

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому

      Hi Jan,
      Thank you for your kind words, really appreciate it! See you at the masterclass🙂

  • @normprice5566
    @normprice5566 3 роки тому +3

    What if she’s talking to another man? It’s so hard to show her I’m improving when she’s has someone telling her she’s beautiful and I don’t deserve her. We still live together but only because we have kids

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому +5

      Hi Norm, Regardless of her situation, once you start to show the best version of yourself consistently... She will definitely notice. Just keep growing and you will eventually re-attract her.

  • @liihhhhhh6943
    @liihhhhhh6943 2 роки тому +1

    Hey Geoffrey In an attempt to get my partner back I’ve done a lot of these toxic activities she’s still talking to me but should I apologize to show her I realized those actions were wrong?

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  2 роки тому

      Hi,
      Start by learning how these toxic behaviors began to break down the relationship over time.
      relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass

  • @mastercraftcocktails8979
    @mastercraftcocktails8979 2 роки тому

    True freedom! Wow so insightful that really resonates with me. It takes tremendous strength to face and overcome whatever comes your way.

  • @victoriaoshea4865
    @victoriaoshea4865 11 місяців тому

    5:05 yeah this fits

  • @JoseGarcia-vr8mx
    @JoseGarcia-vr8mx 3 роки тому

    Dude, your videos are fire! Thank you for sharing this

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому

      Sure wish I could put a fire emoji by your comment. Thank you for your support!

  • @nnglnd
    @nnglnd 8 місяців тому

    This only works if you have contact with her , how can it work if not?

  • @freeman8218
    @freeman8218 3 роки тому +6

    put this in the schools

  • @ScottJohnson-s2t
    @ScottJohnson-s2t Рік тому

    Hi Geoffrey this is Scott what do you do when your wife wants me to Out of the house in to apartment. What can I do to change me how talk to my wife so I don't so Angry

  • @mattymobbs5125
    @mattymobbs5125 3 роки тому +1

    Thanks but what about them changing aswell as mine is to stubborn and will say I'm not changing for no one haha

  • @andrewware1942
    @andrewware1942 11 місяців тому

    I love your content and videos, however I do have a question. Where does my partner/girlfriend/wife have any responsibility in this? If I do everything right for months, but then “slip up” by not being a perfect specimen who is totally superhuman with NO flaws, no insecurities, no neediness, etc… then where do things like commitment, understanding, mercy, grace, and acceptance come in from her part? It just sounds like no matter what did damage to the relationship, it’s always automatically my fault, and even it’s things like her being too demanding, too wounded, too closed off, too hot and cold, inconsistent, disrespectful, or any of things, somehow it sounds like it’s always our fault (men) and even if we commit to changing, growing, working on ourselves… we do and say 1000 things right but the moment we make a mistake, she’s out the door. Maybe I’m misinterpreting it, but that’s the way it sounds. And if so, that seems completely out of balance and like our partner is completely off the hook from any responsibility, patience or commitment from her side. Your thoughts??

    • @Anon-qp3kt
      @Anon-qp3kt 10 місяців тому +1

      That's why you need the bulletproof vest and antithetic mindset.
      You have to figure out the root cause of her behaving that way and how you contributed to it. You're having a victim mindset based on this post. Just remember, you can only work on yourself and your environment. You cannot force someone else to change or love you

    • @andrewware1942
      @andrewware1942 10 місяців тому

      @@Anon-qp3kt You can say all day I just have a “victim mindset”. But you are clearly either not reading my comment or just avoiding the topic of question. Relationships are a two way street. I can take all the responsibility in the world and be nearly perfect and “bulletproof” but if she is the one with the wrong mindset or attitude, then where does her part come into play? I mean dude, be realistic. If you have been working on yourself for years and already grown and learned so much, doing your best to apply everything as flawless as possible, but she is cracked and broken or simply does not show any responsibility or commitment in the relationship… then how is that me just not being good enough or victim mentality? Sorry, I disagree. Both people should equally contribute effort into any relationship. Even if I take the lead and make every possible improvement I can, she still has to be patient and understanding (as I am with her) in the few times we do make a mistake. Without mercy, patience, and understanding on both sides, there is no relationship.

  • @xavcuttinoakatheinspiratio4353
    @xavcuttinoakatheinspiratio4353 3 роки тому +16

    Geoff, no disrespect but you literally went all around the world in this video just to still come to the same conclusion. This marriage thing is Chess and I get that. But it’s not about doing things because you want your wife back it’s about doing making permanent changes that will last and if she’s digging them and wants to come back fine and if not then that’s fine too. I’ll keep improving myself regardless.

  • @shantiazis9389
    @shantiazis9389 3 роки тому

    Hello jef. Just wanted to ask you. If I already know all the problems, but somehow my partner seems to be still in heat of emotional and zero clue about himself or even us. What should i do?

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому

      Hi Shanti Azis,
      We must learn that we alone have the power to reverse these negative feedback loops and gently guide our partner to want to start making changes too. Watch this video and let me know what you think.
      ua-cam.com/video/esDN2K4efhY/v-deo.html

  • @skiptrack326
    @skiptrack326 2 роки тому

    0:10 I really want you to stick around until the very end of the video because.... the youtube search algorithm will rate my video higher :)
    But this is an amazing banger of a video. Thanks

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  2 роки тому

      Damn right. More people need to see this - staying to the end is a win for you, win for me, and win more countless people who can watch this video.

  • @joeymueller8807
    @joeymueller8807 2 роки тому

    Trying to figure out how to do the master class

  • @BlakkInc
    @BlakkInc 3 роки тому +2

    Great insight! Especially about being like a parasite and that type of behaviour, coming from a genuine place....you're doing Gods work with these videos. Thank you.

  • @notsure8327
    @notsure8327 3 роки тому +1

    I’ve consumed a lot of good marriage skills material, especially from John Gottman and Esther Perel. They are amazing. However, your videos have been revelatory for me in terms of applying the knowledge I’ve had for so long and building it into actual skills. Great stuff man

  • @biersmorgen6609
    @biersmorgen6609 9 місяців тому +1

    Lord help me I'm pushing her away

  • @troyhazelton2554
    @troyhazelton2554 4 роки тому

    I've watched alot of your vids that are helping alot. That being said my wife and I are seperated and she told me today she has feeling for someone what should I do or do you have a video about that ?

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  4 роки тому +1

      Hey Troy! Be sure to tune in to my video next week on exactly this topic!

    • @troyhazelton2554
      @troyhazelton2554 4 роки тому

      @@GeoffreySetiawan update shes smoking weed now which she never liked . She spend no time with our son but she took time off work to hang out with the new guy and posted pictures of the good time on Facebook. I feel like its all a show just to show everyone and me that she's happy and moved on. Im happy on my own I have my son 5 days a week ive made friends I stopped drinking and now have a good job good friends im working on bettering myself for my son and my self not in hopes we get back together. But my concern is she doing the same thing she did after her mother passed and after her first divorse I just don't know what to do and I dont want to see her this way I want her to have a relationship with our son and truly be happy. Anthing helps thank you

    • @jmoonshine4223
      @jmoonshine4223 4 роки тому +7

      @@troyhazelton2554 the best thing you can do is let it go. Let her go and walk your path to become your best self. Tho it is a hard task you just have to trust and believe that no matter what you still love yourself as deep as possible and when you love yourself you will find that love is drawn to you. I am currently going through a similar situation. Maybe not as bad but I have spent this time apart working on myself, finding all of my problems and fixing them one way or another. I meditate every chance i get and it clears my head from thinking about situations like the love of my life with another man because I realize that she is her own individual person and i cannot make her be with me but I can show her that I am the man she needs and wants in her life. It sucks that it took me losing one of the most important parts of my life but I am still alive and I have 2 beautiful little girls who need an amazing father in their lives so I work on myself so that my family can also be happy and when you realize that everything will work out in the end and you simply let go and allow the universe to take control you feel more confident, you feel more hopeful and you can wake up every morning knowing that the future you want can become the future you live everything just kinda falls into place. Im not saying to let go of the love you desire but let go of the dought that you will not get it and start knowing you will get it. Stop worrying about how it's going to happen and just let it happen. And it might not end up being the current person you are after but sometimes something better comes along, you just have to be awake enough to follow the signs.
      Sorry for the long comment I just feel for everyone going through a heart breaking situation. I use to hate everything and everyone i came in contact with and it pushed away the love of my life. Iv been on a "spiritual journey" the past couple of months and i can see so many things that i never understood in the past so clearly now and I can feel the love of my life becoming more attracted to me, even tho she still claims to not see a future with me she started wanting to do family things together and we went out to dinner together and had a nice deep talk, we both got a little emotional and she still said the same thing that once stopped my heart every time i heard it "i don't see a future with you anymore" It doesn't even phase me anymore. I accept that and I continue to better myself. Ths fact that we are spending somewhat more time together now makes me happy enough. Im greatful for it and I can feel it growing every day.
      I recommend you look into some binerial beats. There are a shit ton on here but you can find something that works for you. Take some time for yourself and work on the relationship you have with yourself for yourself. There's only one of you and if ypu have children they need that one you... good luck brother i hope this can help you.

  • @savvyguy1353
    @savvyguy1353 Рік тому

    You need to evaluate strongly that you actually want to be with said wife. If there is a demanded evolution and the evolution continues to move higher and higher there may be a point where you have maxed your potential and it’s time to let her go. Moving on is also an option. You will have created safety for her and/or someone else

  • @Eniclac
    @Eniclac 9 місяців тому

    I've watched a lot of these videos, and they are great, but they always seem to focus on what "the man" must do, what about "the woman"? what contribution does she need to invest in this?

  • @taylorbee4010
    @taylorbee4010 6 місяців тому

    Is it truly wrong to need a partner..? Because if you don’t need them in some way why have one?

  • @rafeeqbaderoen4666
    @rafeeqbaderoen4666 3 роки тому

    @geoffrey please tell me what the cost of your program is

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому

      Hi Rafeeq, program details are available through signing up for the free masterclass or booking a call.

  • @brandonnykyforak
    @brandonnykyforak 3 роки тому +1

    So don’t beg saying you’ll change. Change and that change will make her want to come back? And when you do talk to her what do I talk about? Do I talk about the change? Do we just talk about life?

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому

      Perfect Brandon, yes, talk about the change is one good conversation. There are many more. Check this video out for more tips and a preview of what I teach in my program.
      ua-cam.com/video/z4kgRg9E5dI/v-deo.html

  • @ricardomartins6767
    @ricardomartins6767 2 роки тому +1

    I want be part of the group

  • @JXtreme85
    @JXtreme85 4 роки тому +2

    Geoffrey, watching your videos has made my wife come back to me. We had sex but it seems to have complicated things more. What are my next steps?

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  4 роки тому

      Apply and join us in Relationships Revival - relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass. We'll teach you how to actually become valuable in relationships without needing cheap tactics.

    • @lorrainystef8661
      @lorrainystef8661 4 роки тому

      I know of a powerful man who help me get back my ex husband in a day he can also help you too

    • @lorrainystef8661
      @lorrainystef8661 4 роки тому

      Whatsapp him for help

    • @lorrainystef8661
      @lorrainystef8661 4 роки тому

      +(234),907,122,8097;

    • @lorrainystef8661
      @lorrainystef8661 4 роки тому

      +234:907:122:8097

  • @masonstevens4900
    @masonstevens4900 3 роки тому

    How do you show her reasons to come back when she is gone?

  • @heinhtet8956
    @heinhtet8956 3 роки тому +1

    these videos are so good, but assuming that your partner is a good person. What if your partner is selfish narcissist who only cares about herself?

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому +1

      Go to my YT page and watch my playlist on stonewalling. It will answer your question.

  • @mattymobbs5125
    @mattymobbs5125 3 роки тому

    I feel needy when she pushed me away I think I get lonely and one time we was in a break after 3 years and she met a guy and had a 3 night Stand.. I wish I could stop thinking about her haveing sex and doing stuff to different guy still I think of it so I gess when we fall out I worry she will meet some one again

  • @AS-sb1by
    @AS-sb1by 2 роки тому

    What if you are so calm in every situation that she feels very safe and starts to belive that you will stay calm even if she gets into an extra marital affair just for fun and variety and not because she is missing something in the relationship 😀.
    Humans are not monogamous by nature 😀😀.

  • @dogsent
    @dogsent 3 роки тому

    Doh.....it's me

  • @DaveEntity
    @DaveEntity 3 роки тому

    Man you need for subs. Best content

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому

      Hey Dave,
      Haha I get that quite a lot and I appreciate your support. The truth is we enroll over 1000+ clients annually and have to be a bit selective so that all of my clients get the type of training and the success they deserve.

  • @Biajuuu
    @Biajuuu 2 роки тому

    You just slapped with fact

  • @timn3424
    @timn3424 2 роки тому

    “..now you’re not doing 100 things right and one thing wrong, now you’re doing a 1000 things right and nothing wrong..”
    This was huge.

  • @kadebaff
    @kadebaff 7 місяців тому

    I am still wondering who is teaching women these things? Because men leave women too