How to Artfully Control Your Emotions in Your Relationship or Marriage
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
- HOW TO ARTFULLY CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIAGE
Can you control your emotions in a relationship? How do you control your emotions and you’re dealing with an extremely difficult situation in your relationship? What is the best way to control your emotions that makes you fully bulletproof to even the most difficult of challenges.
Most videos on how to control your emotions in a relationship tend to center around using more willpower, upping your self-talk game, or tell you to meditate, for example. But do these really work? Are these good ways to control your emotions?
In this video, I am going to show you the exact steps I took to learn to control your emotions, and show you how to control your emotions and anger and show you how to fully control your emotions.
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This is the first time I’ve ever left any comment on UA-cam.. your videos are so thoughtful and carefully created. It’s obvious you worked extremely hard to develop this knowledge and I’m glad you found your passion. I hope to see a New York Times best seller from you in the future. PS thanks for the help haha
I am so honored to hear this! Thank you for recognizing my obsessions :D
Amen 🙏
One of my life philosophies is “It’s all practice till it isn’t.” This means treat everything you do as if it is practice for later. It’s okay to fail because you can learn from it and be ready next time. I especially think this when it comes to dating since I’m single right now
This is how I understand this thus far....your partner says something hurtful, you hear what she says as an emotional statement that comes from the environment and emotions are constantly changing, you remain calm and ask her to tell you more about what she has just said, elaborate her emotions and give you more insight, she loves doing this and you love hearing it because as she explains her emotion to you you realize that your interpretation of what she said was way wrong originally, and if you had "lost your shit" earlier you would have made her feel emotionally unsafe and misunderstood, which of course she is right about. Instead the 2 of us turn an possibly relationship ending conversation into one of mutual understanding and respect, and we love each other more because of your ability to remain calm and get to the bottom of the "hurtful" statement
Please excuse the poor punctuation if you can it was typed in train of thought.
Thanks Geoffrey
PERFECT!
Hi The Nonchalant,
I love your comment and understanding. Please come join me in my master class and also in my free FaceBook community.
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329
@@GeoffreySetiawan I'm already there bro...
Coming back to this because we hit a bump in the road on our journey. I struggle to control my emotions and not get defensive. These videos are so helpful!
Hello again!
Just found your channel and I have been loving it. My wife and myself are in a rough place in our relationship but I want to put in the work and do what I can to make it better. Thank you
Thank you This saved my marriage
Man, I can't emphasize enough how helpful your videos have been in my marraige! I watched alot of different ones on UA-cam, but this is genuinely the best. example: They all say "no contact" is a must. But non communication is a huge factor in our issues
Awesome! Honored to hear this :)
This truly open up my mind. I have always been using willpower to force my anger back down and for it explode even more violently when willpower is not enough. I now see that it is just a matter of perspective of how to deal with negative emotion and turn them into positivity. My anger and lack of empathy are reasons for my girlfriend wanting a break, I sincerely thank you for this video, and will work towards being a more positive and patience person, hopefully she will see the change in me and continue building a happy life together.
I'm currently going through something. I just want to say THANK YOU because you are impacting me in more ways 🙏
Geoff, man if you’re seeing this i really thought I knew what i was doing surrounding myself by all this toxic masculinity and growing up around it thinking it was okay. Truly thinking deep about all of this because not only am I trying to save my marriage alone I’m trying to be a better dog dad, a better leader at work, a better son, and truly just a better human being for everyone around me I’ve been so fixated on thinking I knew everything and truly that’s what cause my marriage to collapse. I failed at the core to build a solid foundation before going to the summit and jumped around the 5 steps you’ve stated before and truly lost motivation and hope for everything playing this victim card and believing I’ve done nothing wrong. When I’m reality I was on a roller coaster of fixing and crashing and burning because of it. So Thankyou Geoff means a lot you’ve done all of this!
I have used the adapt the performer mindset throughout my life to come off as confident at work, as a union officer and steward and I became pretty successful and effective in other aspects of my life using it. I had never used it in my personal relationships with my family. I will from now on because the concept has worked very well outside my family and marriage relationship. Thank you very much. I've spent hundreds of dollars on relationship gurus and they all lacked the unique insights that you present to tie everything together and get results. Thank you for helping me.
Just want to thank you, watching so many of your videos gave me so much direction when I felt I was about to lose my marriage, you truly made a way for it to flourish. Thank you Geoffrey.
Love this analogy of the bulletproof vest! I still find the other tools beneficial to broadening our perspective. Any tool used without an intention to shift a rather narrow or unhelpful perspective about the actions or intent of another person (even ourselves!), may be lacking. There is always positive intent to be found. How we interpret the actions of others can either bring about more compassion, or drive us into fear, shutdown, or disconnection. As a musician, I really appreciate the performer’s mindset. Practice is key, and that includes relationships! Thank you for sharing 💯
Thank you for taking the time to comment! And glad this resonated with you :)
This is excellent! There’s so much content out there that doesn’t remind us of the human factor. So many of us have issues of the past and have had coping methods we’ve used for years. When others can show up bulletproof, it leaves room for healing…the other feeling safe as well.
After 50years on this planet.. im changing my thinking/paradigms / attitude and behaviour 180degrees… I’m watching your videos and “hard work is its own reward”…
I really need to be bullet proof. That is definitely the majority of our conversation breakdowns that I cause.
Thank you, having poor emotional control has cost me my family and relationships.
You have given me hope and will start applying these new ideas in all aspects of my life. Keep it up you are changing lives.
The intro to this video here. It’s like your in my head reading my thoughts and seeing my actions. I’m struggling with my emotions as it is and it’s definitely not helping my situation..
I’m on a hunt for a video you spoke about in a stonewalling video from 4 years ago.
You said it was a guide on how to be bulletproof, your content is awesome but I cannot find this video you’re referencing in. I thought this was it, but once again you referenced that original video in this one as well. You keep saying it’s gonna be linked above your head in your videos but there’s nothing in the description or above your head. I’m very interested in improving me relationship and how to control my emotions I’m just needing more in depth tactics. This is fabulous, I’m so grateful for what you offer.
If you haven’t found it yet try searching “Geoffrey Sentiawan Bulletproof”. That’s how I found it, but the video title is actually “Mastering Your Emotions in Relationships.” I hope that helped!
I find that self talk to analyze the situation after, and then meditation to bring it into the conscious when your spirit is good, opens the door to answers, but one without the other, I didn't find effective. Typically only works well for the next time not so much in the moment but I think you're 100% right if you can redirect why they're doing it as part of their programming and realize it's part of the damage and you have compassion for it not anger.
I like how you kept coming back to the key words “reflexive interpretations.” That really helped me tie these thoughts together and understand the root cause of my defensiveness. I’m happy I came across your channel.
I love you man! I could never figure this stuff out before. Thanks!
Hi Daily Pants,
Glad you are able to take value you from the work I do.
Let me know how I can help.
Thanks Geoff. This makes much more sense now. My weakest spot is assuming the worst leading me to jump to conclusions. (Destroys all safety.) I really need to focus on this to find other weak spots and write these down. I plan on creating auto suggestions for each one. Thanks again, I believe I now understand how to begin working on my BPV. (I was way off in the past. Lol)
You are brilliant. I love the environment verses character thought process. When I think about it I feel like I have been physically removed from being in a state of feeling in complete opposition and redirected to be in a state or observation which really feels more solution oriented because I lack the resentment. I have never heard of that concept. I’m writing it down so I remember.
Happy it was very insightful!
@@GeoffreySetiawan opl))
Geoffrey I soo Love your Videos man.. 2 weeks of weeks of watching this have already sparked a real Bonfire of Will to better myself as a human being.. To better understand everyone around me and really connect with people in a deep way. I keep telling myself really that the day I can actually get into your Program... I wont miss it... I will not miss it. I wish I could right now but Sadly aren't able.
I will make sure,I use even the little you have given to build myself for me.. and Make sure I am capable of better understanding and taking care of my Mate WHEN I get her back. Thanks Geoffrey
Love it! Thank you for your support. Stay tuned, we have a very exciting calendar ahead.
I liked the way you are thinking .As we develop our intuitive thinking and reprogram our wiring in the mind in such a way that Our partners mind can be understood. The program seems good enough to make our individual growth which will automatically improve ur partners minds as they observe yout mindset.. Whether you get back or not We are equipped well to respect and properly interpret others and be more pragmatic and sensitive to others point of View... I love Your Videos Geffrey
Exactly what you said would happen when you tried the other message has happened to me repeatedly no matter how much therapy I have had or how many of these other methods I’ve practiced. I’m at a point where I see the same thing happening that happened before. I am in a seven-year relationship. I’m starting to see this as a pattern. A pattern that needs to end. I join the master class because I really do need to help. Not just for this relationship, although I am hoping to continue it, I feel if I don’t make some drastic changes I will never be happy.
I want to say thank you. I watched a couple Videos of yours, and they realy are helping me to get calm and a sober view of the relationship with my girlfriend.
Now we have a brake from each other, i lost hope and didn't now what to do. Just cried the last days of frustration. But thanks to you I now know how to approach the situation. how I can find myself again. and can stay calm.
Thank you man and ceep it up :)
Awesome Andy! Great to see this is helping!
You got this brother. I’m in the same boat. No matter the outcome we will come out of this stronger and better than ever before. Keep your head up and don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s cool to cry but don’t forget to eat and stay hydrated. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you 🙏🏾
I love the performer's mentality. Thanks for sharing Geoffrey!
Everything in this video spoke to me, I've been dealing with anger cycles and trying to be mindful so that it never happens again but now I know it's not gonna work. Thanks, really needed help with this
Hi Chrono,
Come join me in my free 90 min master class to learn even more.
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
I’m rocking with the Performers approach, with the bullet proof vest aspect! Nice meeting you today, and I look forward to catching up on all your videos! Blessings
Yes ive been in this cycle before. Thank you for explaining it and bringing it to light. It is very humbling. I appreciate your honesty and put a mirror up to my ego.
Obviously I’m not a male but I was curious to hear what you had to say... thank you for sharing this It was extremely well thought out and on point.
Your content is gold, I never comment on UA-cam videos but this is incredible, I only wish you had something catered specifically for women too 🤞
Hi Geoffrey!
My marriage has suffered greatly.. my wife wants a divorce.. she’s dating. We have children.. I’ve tried what I thought was everything.. After watching several of your videos.. it’s clear I haven’t tried everything…
so much has happened… she’s not interested in reconciling…. we still communicate bcuz we have children… I’m tired of making bad choices.. I wanna make a permanent change for ME! I’ve signed up for the masterclass.
Any update?
Sorry, no updates… Godbless
@@krperez_drumwell82 Wow, so this whole time she still doesn't want to reconcile? My wife says she doesn't see the point because she thinks there is no hope, I'm surprised because I'm willing to go to therapy together and she is unable to promise to do it.
I’m sorry to hear that… I’ve gone through the same… it’s in Gods hands! Only thing I can do at this point is continue working on myself..
@@krperez_drumwell82 An update, it's been hot and cold. Meeting more resistance as I enact the advice from Geoffrey. We were going to get a separation. Then within 15min today she went from done and divorce asap back to separation with no promises. I just let her talk and vent after open-ended questions.
You've put into words what my brain has been trying to put down in paper
It is funny cause as I work through his program through here, these pop up in the order of what I screenshot. Very cool. I will say dude that once you practice these teachings every day something in your mind starts telling you "is this the right way" when you fuck up. It is strange cause I feel as though we always had that voice but just ignored it.
Just subscribed yesterday and I’m loving your content, i tried your master class too and it’s right on point, just don’t have the funds to afford the package.😢
Thank you Geoffrey for sharing many good tips. Really encouraging. Your videos are always so good.
Your topics are very enlightening. Especially now that me and my husband are having a crisis. More power and looking forward for more of your videos.
Thank you!
I wonder if a lack of empathy can still be attributed to emotional safety and not a narcissistic personality ?
Wow. I’m an information self-growth junkie, and your content is some of the best I’ve ever heard!! Thank you!!!
Glad I found u... I'm learning all over again
This is my first time leaving a comment. You videos really hit home for me and in my marriage
Signed up for the guide and the master class, but I did not receive any email. Please if you could help me out I would really appreciate it. My marriage is falling apart and I feel like your approach is exactly what I need to learn.
Excellent advice. Perspectives never thought about and makes much sense. Great video.
At 14:28 is a handy illustration of the BPV that Jeff keeps mentioning. It's worth a screenshot for everyone coming here for help.
Keep coming back to this
i love your approach in knowing that it's not a character fault, it's a system's defect, if this was the approach of the general public by now we would be having a much healthier and happier society.
Hi Jan,
You are absolutely right! Happy this video was insightful for you.
If you’d like to learn more about it, you can begin by joining our free masterclass here.
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program.
And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below!
Client Review Videos:
ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
@@LoveLife-ry5mm scamming's quite an ugly thing
I’ve been watching this on rewind. I like what he is saying. It’s always better to be a calm and understanding person. I’ve been also trying to separate from the toxic loved ones in my life for the time being while I work on this because your environment will fuck with you
Just clicked on this cause im feeling those "what's the point" thoughta if you get what I mean. I'm on a shutdown right now. I dont want to die but I feel lost, even when I'm doing ok. Much more could be said but.
Ties in with a scripture I use, "get angry, but no not sin".
Why is Geoffrey so effective at getting straight to what really works vs what sounds good? What drove him?
Thanks buddy! We take pride in boiling things down to it's first-principles, and we study all of our clients very closely. We get good because we care!
You are wise beyond your years! I never thought of this.
Hi Michelle,
So glad I was able to share with you somethings that you haven't thought about. This concept is just one of many that my 1000+ clients annually have embraced to allow them to thrive in their relationships.
I m glad and happy to find you I appreciate the effort and knowledge you invest in this video I'm gonna whach all of them and study hard to become a better person thank you
thank you so much you are really articulate and i relate so much to you
I appreciate this perspective n method. Would like to see more. Could there be a video of the BPV method instead of only live? Didn’t have the schedule for it.
Polished and to the point. Very well articulated. Fantastic video. Thank you.
Just be prepared, when you master this, your partner could hate you even more because when you don't lose your shit anymore, that makes them lose their shit even faster
Thank you for your videos. I found them in the right time. And the ideas in this video are spot on.
Thank you brother you really helped me with this session
I’m trying to get that one on one G!
Thank you so much. I appreciate you
It was helpful to understand the common mistakes that I make I truly want to be a different man not reactional doesn't have a short fuse and Less negative than those tough situations
Hey Glenn,
Happy this video was helpful…
To truly become a different person is something that all of our clients in our Relationships Revival program have attained or in the process of attaining.
Have a look at our review videos below…
ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
Once you follow the right processes you can experience MASSIVE life-changing results to save your relationship.
Man you really are making a lot of things click for me.
Hey Cory, thank you! What was the most insightful part for you? I would love to hear your comments.🙂
So hard to give my wife space and honor her boundaries so she doesn't think I'm manipulating her with my tactics, so difficult. Ive broke some communication barriers and shown trustworthiness a little, owned up to all my shortcomings, but now she thinks I'm annoying because sometimes things slip out like maybe things I should have said while I could have "fixed " my marriage by being less childish or a better emotional banker also I said tonight I should give up....dumb. things jist come out because im focused on the outcome not our process b/c I am scared ive lost her already I'm trying to build trust but I feel like I'm failing and it's still at best 50/50 that shes stays, i know time will tell I need to be bullet proof and show her these changes are for real and are for meto better myself so I can be views as better stable trustworthy man.
I can relate to some of the stuff
If your partner is basically a good/normal person, these things you suggest make sense. If your partner actually is a narcissist or other cluster B, you can fix the environment all you want but nothing will change, it just provides them with more externalized excuses to avoid responsibility while you run yourself ragged making endless changes for them. In that case the only thing you can do is cut your losses and leave.
You clearly haven't watched enough of my videos. Here's my stance of what you just said: ua-cam.com/video/smYxeJn3yAc/v-deo.html
@@GeoffreySetiawan I agree with this comment. How can I get him to watch your videos?
Such a wisdom!
Hi Geoffrey I internally feel jealous/ angry when my partner compliments another guy's appearance what healthy interpretation should I have for this . That she's just expressing herself so I should be glad of it ?
ur course should be the first thing shown to everyone who completed his/her school and want to enter college .
I agree :D
So valuable! Well done!
Thanks man!
Thank you 🙏🏾
Hi MarNichole,
You are welcome!🙂
keep going you helped me a lot
Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts?
Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)
💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
Should you say, "I help people" instead of "I help men"? You may have a specialized areas...but as a woman, I find value in the lessons you're discussing/teaching.
Hi and good suggestions. I do say both in many cases and you are also right what I am teaching is applicable to both women and men. I also enroll many many women into my program every month.
????Im very interested in your content!
Doe it work for women too?
Bra this video right here was the one bro
Love it my man!
Hey brother, I really like the information and content you post. But I'm still abit confused on this section.
How do we convince our minds if it's not an environmental problem, but in fact a character problem. But your trying to reprogram your mind into thinking its an environmental problem.
Cheers heaps matey this is an awesome topic by the way.
Hi Jared Tansley,
This would be rather hard to explain through just a reply so I will link this video talking about this very topic below.
ua-cam.com/video/Hr5CR5pb330/v-deo.html
@@GeoffreySetiawan Hey brother, I absolutely love your videos. I stumbled across them a few weeks back and I actually found the answer through your other posts shorty after I wrote this comment. Thank immensely brother and best wishes for your future endeavours.
My fiancé hasn’t told her mother about our engagement after I told my family
Very disappointing
Wish it wasn't so costly
11:34 is what you need
What if I’ve been cheated on after being together for 13 years? We are currently trying to make it work, it’s been almost 4 years since she cheated but I have a hard time from time to time. Currently she just got a new job being a sales rep. Her team consist of 3 guys 2 of them are older but the one other guy is 25. I went through her phone which I never do and seen the 25 year old ask her to meet for lunch on 2 separate occasions. I’m super nervous about it. So I said something to her about what I seen and she flipped out that I don’t trust her enough to not go through her phone and said I have no business doing that! What should I do.
Leave her Brotha you going to lose yourself trying to found her well she is having fun
i like this
Hi ayden galvan,
Which part did you find to be most helpful?
hey do you have any suggestion for long distance relationship?
she used to be my world since last month we start a fight beause we agrue a lot and couldn't listen to each other. she broke down and said "I need time to alone". Suddenly i feel my world collapsed it hurt me a lot. she just moved to US to pursue her better life. we didn't prepare well for this kind of relationship.
I'm lost on the vest bit sorry
Do you realize that when we click on the link to join your Facebook group, it doesn’t allow us to even see it, let alone join it?
Yes, because we removed it. Here are the reasons why: ua-cam.com/video/MPJaF0AZekw/v-deo.html
We've gone ahead and removed that link for this video as well.
@@GeoffreySetiawan thanks for kindly helping me understand. I am applying for your program and was looking for a support group in the mean time. I appreciate you taking the time to articulate this to me and I understand your reasoning. Thanks!
Really want to join the program but too poor to do so 😭
HI Sub_Zero,
We do on occasion are able to help applicants to come to financial win-wins. But if this is not an option for you at this time. Be sure to watch all of my available content.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a great woman who brought us back together and she can solve any kind of problems. ???
I have a question.
I'm reaching out to my fiancee through call and she doesn't answer it. It's been 3 weeks and she doesn't even respond to my text at all. What should I do?
We're in a long distance relationship right now.
Hi Syyedbrien,
Use this time and space to work on become the best version of yourself…So that when she does reach out you will show genuine changes…
You are aware of the issues that led to her being distant… So you can have that conversation when the time comes.
I guess, this is one of the things I needed most to develop. Thank you, Mr.@@GeoffreySetiawan .
@@GeoffreySetiawan I have another question.
Is it alright to greet her everyday through text, like 'good morning' or 'have a wonderful day'? Even if she doesn't respond, it's okay to me.
Thank you.
It's really hard to act this way when she's fucking up so much. She really looks like a different person. Not quite sure if i want this anymore
I see to be sad and when we brake all I feel in my head is thinking of then doing sex and stuff with other boys I hate feeling this way any videos on this please
💯💯💯
Love it!
My wife I tell him from today if you make mistake I don't shout at you because you panic. she say yes it true 😂😂😂
Seems like that is confirmation of what you are now realizing.
Yes bro, I practice in one last month I see lot of change in my wife but I want to confirm about this and my wife reply with happy. but still we don't solve our problems. every time when we are interact in whatsapp she say I make mistake without inform what mistake I made to her. I think I became too needs that why she stay away and every time she needs something from me but she ignoring me at all. she plan the future but she don't show any affection or feminine to me like before.
Do you only work with men?
Hi Melanie Josephine,
Right now my students consist of 19% females.
The process works the same, nothing changes.
Watch the movie “peaky blinders” and instantly you will control your emotions….