Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) 💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> urlgeni.us/MCEP133DS 🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions 🎉 To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
Geoffrey Im confused here, that is nice to be leader and pull up someone who is in resentement, but then its in conflict in that case when shes saying "i need a space to figure things out" asking for no contact at all , ..and you suposse to give her that space-.....
@@wresk Did you watch my videos on space & no-contact? The answer never lies in the extremes, the answer always lies in the balanced gray area. (e.g. Answer is never 100% smothering contact or zero contact - we need to learn the gray areas nuances of this).
Working on my relationship right now where she says she doesn't want to work on it or even try anymore, I didn't have the confidence to change and present myself in the past and now I do, maybe too late but I certainly am changing as a man from this series, I pray and I hope she really gives me this shot to really prove what she means to me. Thoughts and prayers boys, wish me luck. This next Thursday is when we meet up to talk maybe I'll post an update
Thank you so much Geoffrey for your videos. They have been so helpful. We have had two conversations after she asked for space almost 2 months ago.. She has opened up more each time we spoke, telling me what I did wrong and why she belives she can no longer continue in the relationship. I can see clearly that she really tried to save the relationship in the past and despite our conversations she said she wished we had this conversation earlier as she can see the changes and effort I am putting to be a better man but she still doesn't think she can continue with the relationship. Somehow I believe emotional safety is gradually being created but she stonewalls me from time to time. Not responding to my texts et al. I will just keep trying to genuinely change and apply everything I have been learning. God bless you for all you do Geoffrey.
Now after being divorced from my ex-wife for over 1.5 years, I have managed to improve the emotional connection and safety with her, thanks to these videos. She has not come back (yet) but we spent 3 hours together today. I believe it is just a matter of time when she wants to move back. In any case, our connection hasn't been better for 15 years when we first met. By the way, I have got these results mainly just by watching UA-cam videos because can't afford the program, but I'm sure the program is necessary for many others, rebuilding a broken relationship is no easy stuff.
Man I’m in the same place! Just using UA-cam I’ve gotten into a very difficult reconciliation but I feel progress oddly enough. But simultaneously lack of progress and yeah I feel like I need the program to get through beyond this but I’m not letting up!
@@skaziblu you can never be 100 % sure of someone else, but in my case I would say no, she is not misleading me. She has also been abused when she was younger so she has issues with herself that she needs to solve. We spoke about those issues yesterday and she opened up a lot about things she wants to get over with. Today she was visiting me for 5 hours and tomorrow we will go out for a walk, so things are going well.
hey Geoffrey, my name is David and i just want to thank you for your time and waking me up with the mindset i should of had in dealing with my realationship ,i mean man it was like a slap in the face to me how completely wrong i was going about my marriage, im been married for over 18yrs and my wife is on that breaking point and all i wanted to do was give up myself not knowing the truth you have brought and i just want to thank you man...i know what needs to be done 1st n foremost by me for me in the way my thoughts and understanding the process of why it got this far and just by watching a few of your videos im truly not mad at my wife but at myself cause i let it get this far i dont blame her for her feelings and actions but feel sad that she actually delt with thus far....thank you thank you ,,i will tell you right here right now i will be in a different outlook of her understanding aas well of my own and bring my wife to the man she married thats my promised to my family n myslef ..keep up the awespme work your doing man much respect and god bless brother
God man, these videos have been so much more helpful than all this toxic masculine videos I have been coming across. I feel like this has been a breakthrough for me
In the same situation with my wife who moved out a month ago. Need all the help and prayers guys. Still want to work on our marriage but unfortunately she’s given up on me and us and looking to get a divorce.
I am so much great ful to you brother.. at first i was trying no contact it didn't work also no contact creates so much anxiety and uncertainty and solves no problem at all... And after that i watched your video about how to create emotional safety for my partner to open up.. it worked so well i cannot believe it thank you so much❤️🙏... I have so much to learn from you.. 😅 ..
we don't talk much often with my ex, but she has made it clear that if we ever get back together, it will have to be in some time in the future (not sure how much). I'm planning on working on myself and taking these mind shifts to be better for her eventually and be a better communicator, but I'm not sure if I should talk to her (not to pressure or anything) or just let her reach out to me when she feels ready (it's her decision after all). I'm sorry if its a bit messy, english is not my native language. Your videos have helped me a lot in understanding a lot of things, I still have much to learn. Thank you.
Just talk to her. It sounds kinda bad but you need to purposely bring up or create a problem that you know you can fix. But only if you’re confident that you can actually fix it or at least end on a good note. If she starts talking, SHUT UP. If you can ask the right questions, she will talk. If she feels heard, then it’s a good step forward! If she keeps telling you she doesn’t want to talk. Don’t push. Try some other time. But you seriously need to work on yourself. She will test you. The more you fail, the more she will say to her self that you’ll never change
Hi Geoffrey, i really wanted to join this program. However, in the place i am living in and currency converted is absolutely absymal to USD. May i know whether your program have any installments or ways to for me pay for the program slowly.
hi Geoffrey, thank you for your videos! Wish I knew about them before. I just want to ask if these kinds of things work for shorter relationship? She broke up with me after 1.5 years. We talked a week later (after I watch some of your videos and realizing all of my mistakes). She was thankful that I realized what went wrong, but continue with the break up. I opened the door so she can contact me, but I think it's unlikely she will reach out again. Should I reach out to her after working on myself, or should the ball be on her court?
hi geoffrey you’re awesome and i’ve watched all you’re videos but i’m stuck on creating emotional safety our communication is not good and we haven’t had a meaningful conversation since my wife told me she was done with me over a year ago i feel like i know what to do in my mind but i can’t get the ball rolling too scared for sure but i’m running out of time to save my marriage
James - This is a common problem. As I say in many of my videos, it's one thing to conceptually understand what it means to create safety, but completely another to DO IT, and do it consistently by becoming someone who creates it naturally. The hard part is understanding the blind spot mistakes you typically make with it. There is unfortunately not a shortcut here - we need to first get rid of the victim mindset, untether fully and correctly, build our BPV, master the frameworks, and shift our identity. This takes our clients 6-12 months to master, and that's even with a clearly laid out path for them to follow. So don't feel bad about not getting there overnight. keep at it and keep becoming. It's hard work, but for a lifetime of bliss, it's worth it.
I’ve been begging for him to DO something. Right now I’ve stepped out, just waiting for him to start or do or say something or anything first. I expect him to AT LEAST hug or kiss me first when he gets home, but he only does it when I initiate first 😕 If he can’t even do that, everything else like dates or vacations or buying a house or in the future having kids, it’s going to be so exhausting to do everything myself. I wish he was a leader or at least try to be a man.
Do I text her ? And try to talk to her ? We’ve been talking I person and they are emotionally everywhere , but she tells me it’s okay I promise it’ll be okay relax . I’ve been the one being really selfish and just being one sided in a bad way . She’s very hurt and don’t trust me to fix anything because of my broken promises . I’m trying my heart out and putting effort in letting her know hey I messed up and I know I was very one sided etc .. she just tells me she’s scared and out loud when she said “ he changed this time “ she said it don’t sound believable. I really never help We’ve been dating for 4 years and been broken up for 2 weeks now Little no contact through text but if I call she’ll answer and if she’s home she’ll let me go by to talk … I don’t want to lose her and I’ve changed my mindset from the follower to the leader mindset . She has been the one loving and caring to save this relationship by herself it was me being blind and naïve and not seeing it until she really said not this time . I kept running from our problems and leaving and not caring how she felt and left her alone ..
My wife and I have just separated. I gave her the house and i moved to my parents because i feel its the best option right now. I only have 3 months before i have to go back home and im worried she will want to move out when i come back. She says shes 500 percent sure she wants a divorce and both of her feet are already out of the marrige, doesnt even want to see a couples counselor or try. I am going to spend this time to work on myself as much as i can and hopefully she can see the effort i put in. I really want to save my marrige. It feels terrible.
@@connecticut730 Yeah man. Things turned around. I went back to my house and the night before she was going to leave we had a good talk, she decided to try and work on things. We are seeing a couple's counselor every week and things have improved tremendously.
@@philmeyers3076 An awesome end to one chapter and introduction to your second one...I saw a film called Fireproof, similar crisis...one conclusion was to "study your wife" as a way to insure your love and affection as you both age, stays fresh and fireproofing your marriage. thanks from Darrell.
I have a few questions about the leadership paradigm. What do you do when you take the lead and your partner is stuck in expressing resentment thru hostile words, keeping their wall up and you are on the other side and criticism? How can the partner who is taking initiative keep their boundaries so that they are taking responsibility, working with their partner, but also not enabling abusive behavior from the other partner that is saying they are justified because they have been hurt for so long aka. choosing to remain the victim? Doesn't it take both people to take responsibility?
What do I do when my ex keep wanting to have sex with me…. She already has someone new… I’m so confused…. We were together for 14 years and have children…. She already had my replacement before she broke it off with me… and now 3 1/2 months later she has been asking me for intimacy… but still with the other man…. It’s hard to do no contact with children…. I feel confused…
In my opinion it's better not to share. Instead learn to fix your behavioural issues and let hee see the changes. These are just my personal opinions but I think it is better not to share.
My partner is saying if i cannot pay the rent i cannot be back home. My job changed the payroll date so i dont have the rent money because of that. Been paying rent on time for atleast a year in a half on time never missed. So i ended up spending over 1k on her daughter's babyshower the weekend before so don't have enough to cover it.I made the mistake in trusting my job to pay me the date they said and because they changed it now i lost everything. i explained the situation but she still mad .. what do i do
@@ManuelBustamante-w8t Honest questions for yourself. If you are easily offended, stop reading here. How did you get yourself into a position where ONE delayed payroll date can completely break your life? Is this really your employment’s fault? Or is this on you for not leading/managing your life or finances properly over many years, and over thousands of decisions? Is this on you for not learning and mastering high value skills that allow you to increase your earnings potential over the years? Can you really blame your partner for not feeing safe with you when you failed to properly lead your household, and left your household living on the edge like this? Do you think it is this tendency to blame other people for your predicament (the same way you blamed your employers here) the same reason why you have managed to make the many “not so optimal” death by a thousand cuts decisions that has led you here in the first place? If you know my story, I have been where you are at - until I chose to stop playing victim, take control, and take responsibility. Is that something you are ready to do?
We do discuss the way to apply in literally every single video, interview, email, and other materials we publish, so I am assuming you can figure this out on your own :)
It's been 9 months & she steel saying mean things to me Geoff , says like to see another girl even , whenever I try to talk she doesn't involve,just blame , is there even a chance if yes tell me geoff
After all the YEARS of videos and interviews with people I have who have gone through similar situations and succeeded despite, I am amazed that people still comment these things. Does it change your focus on your need to create the 5 pillars, the layers of internal changes? Does that change the degree and standard to which you master the above, that you need to master them until you can provide them 10x of other alternatives? Does it really "complicate" things further? Or do you realize that you actually need to do the exact same things, and the "complications" are just unnecessary TBUs (True, But Useless Facts), that are bred out of tetheredness?
In my situation there is a childhood friend my wife knows waiting for our divorce and she wants to see where things go with him. Same ordeal overall, you have to become the better option. I'm starting to get past the resentment and even hung out at her place for several hours the other day, a definite positive trend from her not wanting to talk about anything but our kid a month ago. Binge more of Geoffrey's videos, I went through some of them several times. It takes a while, keep absorbing all this until you start doing the right moves without thinking about it. I actually did the right thing on "accident" while tired other day because I'm making the right shifts, but it takes time and effort on your part.
I've watched many of your videos. I just seem to be making the same mistakes. I take 3 steps forward and 10 steps back. I'm working on me, but tbh I'm hurt and going through alot of emotions
@@jeremyanderson7176 Untethering from the outcome would be the thing that helps a lot in your case, you are in damage control mode and may be acting out of desperation or neediness internally which your partner can smell even if you try your best to hide it. Trying to hide it will use your willpower and you will crack at some point. Don't look for a specific outcome, look at the positives of each outcome. Keep focusing on improving yourself, after a while the process of improving yourself will yield results which will make you happy. My friends and family noticed I'm a "better person" and made many comments, which made me want to see how much further I can keep going with the improvements. It's a slow process but your focus has to be off your partner so you're not in agony, turn inward to focusing on yourself.
My girlfriend of 7 years who I have two children with has ended our relationship. Whilst i know there were things i could have done better, she did not make any attempt to save things (spent the last two months cheating) and now says she doesn't love me and there is no hope of reconciliation, partially because she doesn't want to hurt me anymore and she doesn't think she will ever love me again. I feel like I have been robbed of my chance to try and fix things and its killing me inside, because before the affair i am sure we could have turned it around (i.e. fixed it) where as now she is against trying to rebuild from scratch. Is there anything I can do?
while i cannot help you, i want u to know that you are not alone because im right now in a very similar situation as you are. my gf of 9 years decided to leave and met someone else instantly and it broke me. been trying to get back for 3 months now but everytime we met, its like shes this robot who doesnt hv feelings or shine in her eyes for me at least. im telling this to myself as well, be strong, love yourself more, take all the focus, attention, energy and love you gave to her back to yourself. value you, knock her off the pedestal and put you on it! you'll be okay. one day. we both will.
Me and my wife have been separated since may and my lease is up oct 8th but we go out on dates and are sexual and saying I love you. Idk if I should ask to move in with her or move into my own place I could really use some help
If you frame it as needing help she will probably have a negative reaction. So you don't need help you're just looking towards a future where you're closer
I had a breakup she says that she doesnot want to have this relation anymore but i keep texting her keep textinh her family.if i stop texting and calling her? Will she think of coming back?
If you are convinced that she left simple because of simple "miscommunication" and that you simply clarifying the miscommunication is all it takes to get her back, basically if you want simple tactics to manipulate her mind, you came to the wrong channel & wrong video.
Geoffrey is right my friend. I will highly recommend taking time for your self really sit back and reflect on the relationship to see where you went wrong to break emotional safety with your lady. Work on your self, watch Geoffrey videos and change your mind set from a tethered state! Short term tactics will not work for long term success my friend you must do the internal work! 💯
I call it "reality." How else does one explain women finding a new guy within a day or two of dumping a man? The other guy was already there. Beyond that, the very nature of the video suggests your relationship is worth saving if your wife has given up on it. It isn't. Because there have to be both of you in it.
Actually, I left her. After my more recent relationship ended, I did exactly what shrinks, feminists and the modern liberal thinkers tell us to do. I sat around alone and tried to figure out what I'd been doing wrong in my relationships. I ignored come ons, signals, etc. I stayed alone. I went on long walks, went to church, listened to music, read books, watched tv. After a couple of years, it became normal. So, when people say "work on yourself," especially when women say it, I don't think they really mean it. If more (or all) men "work on themselves" the way I did, no one will be dating or sleeping together anymore. All men will become completely celibate. I've been celibate for almost 22 years now this time.
Not sure which response this is in response to. I said "IF" she's got someone new in a few days, she probably was already with him before you and she split up. Most men take break ups more seriously, if we were together for very long. A lot of us blame ourselves, because women are usually pretty vocal about it. We have an unfortunate n tendency to believe what our women tell us, even if it's bad things about ourselves.
Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)
💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> urlgeni.us/MCEP133DS
🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
🎉 To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
Will this work on emotional damage. Is there anything that can be done with that?.
Geoffrey Im confused here, that is nice to be leader and pull up someone who is in resentement, but then its in conflict in that case when shes saying "i need a space to figure things out" asking for no contact at all , ..and you suposse to give her that space-.....
@@wresk Did you watch my videos on space & no-contact? The answer never lies in the extremes, the answer always lies in the balanced gray area. (e.g. Answer is never 100% smothering contact or zero contact - we need to learn the gray areas nuances of this).
Working on my relationship right now where she says she doesn't want to work on it or even try anymore, I didn't have the confidence to change and present myself in the past and now I do, maybe too late but I certainly am changing as a man from this series, I pray and I hope she really gives me this shot to really prove what she means to me. Thoughts and prayers boys, wish me luck. This next Thursday is when we meet up to talk maybe I'll post an update
You and me both brother
Going through the same brother. Stay strong.
You’re not going through it alone brother, waiting for that update….all the best 💪
@@donnellnigel2913 well she canceled and said she doesn't want to see me in person anymore
You and me brother. Same situation where she even told me that she can't see the future together, but she is seeing the changes in me.
Thank you so much Geoffrey for your videos. They have been so helpful.
We have had two conversations after she asked for space almost 2 months ago.. She has opened up more each time we spoke, telling me what I did wrong and why she belives she can no longer continue in the relationship.
I can see clearly that she really tried to save the relationship in the past and despite our conversations she said she wished we had this conversation earlier as she can see the changes and effort I am putting to be a better man but she still doesn't think she can continue with the relationship.
Somehow I believe emotional safety is gradually being created but she stonewalls me from time to time. Not responding to my texts et al.
I will just keep trying to genuinely change and apply everything I have been learning.
God bless you for all you do Geoffrey.
Now after being divorced from my ex-wife for over 1.5 years, I have managed to improve the emotional connection and safety with her, thanks to these videos. She has not come back (yet) but we spent 3 hours together today. I believe it is just a matter of time when she wants to move back. In any case, our connection hasn't been better for 15 years when we first met. By the way, I have got these results mainly just by watching UA-cam videos because can't afford the program, but I'm sure the program is necessary for many others, rebuilding a broken relationship is no easy stuff.
Good stuff! Glad to hear! Don't let up or slow down now!
Man I’m in the same place! Just using UA-cam I’ve gotten into a very difficult reconciliation but I feel progress oddly enough. But simultaneously lack of progress and yeah I feel like I need the program to get through beyond this but I’m not letting up!
Great job man, keep up with the great work
@@skaziblu you can never be 100 % sure of someone else, but in my case I would say no, she is not misleading me. She has also been abused when she was younger so she has issues with herself that she needs to solve. We spoke about those issues yesterday and she opened up a lot about things she wants to get over with. Today she was visiting me for 5 hours and tomorrow we will go out for a walk, so things are going well.
@@marko5472hey brother, can we talk as am going through same
hey Geoffrey, my name is David and i just want to thank you for your time and waking me up with the mindset i should of had in dealing with my realationship ,i mean man it was like a slap in the face to me how completely wrong i was going about my marriage, im been married for over 18yrs and my wife is on that breaking point and all i wanted to do was give up myself not knowing the truth you have brought and i just want to thank you man...i know what needs to be done 1st n foremost by me for me in the way my thoughts and understanding the process of why it got this far and just by watching a few of your videos im truly not mad at my wife but at myself cause i let it get this far i dont blame her for her feelings and actions but feel sad that she actually delt with thus far....thank you thank you ,,i will tell you right here right now i will be in a different outlook of her understanding aas well of my own and bring my wife to the man she married thats my promised to my family n myslef ..keep up the awespme work your doing man much respect and god bless brother
God man, these videos have been so much more helpful than all this toxic masculine videos I have been coming across. I feel like this has been a breakthrough for me
Timing on this video was unreal god bless
Geoff, this is bliss, so very well articulated and condensed into 25 min of relational wisdom. Thank you!!
My thing my ex girl said she's been feeling like this for months but never said nothing until the break up smh !!!
i’m almost certain she has dropping hints but you weren’t aware enough
Lots of guys are completely blindsided by these things.
In the same situation with my wife who moved out a month ago. Need all the help and prayers guys. Still want to work on our marriage but unfortunately she’s given up on me and us and looking to get a divorce.
I am so much great ful to you brother.. at first i was trying no contact it didn't work also no contact creates so much anxiety and uncertainty and solves no problem at all... And after that i watched your video about how to create emotional safety for my partner to open up.. it worked so well i cannot believe it thank you so much❤️🙏... I have so much to learn from you.. 😅 ..
Nice brother! Keep going!
please please please help me
Thanks Geoffrey.
What if you are in a long distance relationship and you can’t use non-verbal touch?
we don't talk much often with my ex, but she has made it clear that if we ever get back together, it will have to be in some time in the future (not sure how much). I'm planning on working on myself and taking these mind shifts to be better for her eventually and be a better communicator, but I'm not sure if I should talk to her (not to pressure or anything) or just let her reach out to me when she feels ready (it's her decision after all). I'm sorry if its a bit messy, english is not my native language.
Your videos have helped me a lot in understanding a lot of things, I still have much to learn. Thank you.
Just talk to her. It sounds kinda bad but you need to purposely bring up or create a problem that you know you can fix. But only if you’re confident that you can actually fix it or at least end on a good note. If she starts talking, SHUT UP. If you can ask the right questions, she will talk. If she feels heard, then it’s a good step forward! If she keeps telling you she doesn’t want to talk. Don’t push. Try some other time.
But you seriously need to work on yourself. She will test you. The more you fail, the more she will say to her self that you’ll never change
Wow. The wisdom in this is invaluable.
Great video as usual!
Thanks!
Hi Geoffrey, i really wanted to join this program. However, in the place i am living in and currency converted is absolutely absymal to USD. May i know whether your program have any installments or ways to for me pay for the program slowly.
If one is home less than 30days a year, naturally we drift off focusing on career, not marriage. Now just like strangers even 34 yrs of marriage.
hi Geoffrey, thank you for your videos! Wish I knew about them before. I just want to ask if these kinds of things work for shorter relationship? She broke up with me after 1.5 years. We talked a week later (after I watch some of your videos and realizing all of my mistakes). She was thankful that I realized what went wrong, but continue with the break up. I opened the door so she can contact me, but I think it's unlikely she will reach out again. Should I reach out to her after working on myself, or should the ball be on her court?
hi geoffrey you’re awesome and i’ve watched all you’re videos but i’m stuck on creating emotional safety our communication is not good and we haven’t had a meaningful conversation since my wife told me she was done with me over a year ago i feel like i know what to do in my mind but i can’t get the ball rolling too scared for sure but i’m running out of time to save my marriage
James - This is a common problem. As I say in many of my videos, it's one thing to conceptually understand what it means to create safety, but completely another to DO IT, and do it consistently by becoming someone who creates it naturally.
The hard part is understanding the blind spot mistakes you typically make with it.
There is unfortunately not a shortcut here - we need to first get rid of the victim mindset, untether fully and correctly, build our BPV, master the frameworks, and shift our identity.
This takes our clients 6-12 months to master, and that's even with a clearly laid out path for them to follow.
So don't feel bad about not getting there overnight. keep at it and keep becoming.
It's hard work, but for a lifetime of bliss, it's worth it.
thanks my friend
I’ve been begging for him to DO something. Right now I’ve stepped out, just waiting for him to start or do or say something or anything first. I expect him to AT LEAST hug or kiss me first when he gets home, but he only does it when I initiate first 😕
If he can’t even do that, everything else like dates or vacations or buying a house or in the future having kids, it’s going to be so exhausting to do everything myself. I wish he was a leader or at least try to be a man.
Do I text her ? And try to talk to her ?
We’ve been talking I person and they are emotionally everywhere , but she tells me it’s okay I promise it’ll be okay relax .
I’ve been the one being really selfish and just being one sided in a bad way . She’s very hurt and don’t trust me to fix anything because of my broken promises . I’m trying my heart out and putting effort in letting her know hey I messed up and I know I was very one sided etc .. she just tells me she’s scared and out loud when she said “ he changed this time “ she said it don’t sound believable. I really never help
We’ve been dating for 4 years and been broken up for 2 weeks now
Little no contact through text but if I call she’ll answer and if she’s home she’ll let me go by to talk …
I don’t want to lose her and I’ve changed my mindset from the follower to the leader mindset . She has been the one loving and caring to save this relationship by herself it was me being blind and naïve and not seeing it until she really said not this time . I kept running from our problems and leaving and not caring how she felt and left her alone ..
Will this work on a narcissit?
My wife and I have just separated. I gave her the house and i moved to my parents because i feel its the best option right now. I only have 3 months before i have to go back home and im worried she will want to move out when i come back. She says shes 500 percent sure she wants a divorce and both of her feet are already out of the marrige, doesnt even want to see a couples counselor or try.
I am going to spend this time to work on myself as much as i can and hopefully she can see the effort i put in. I really want to save my marrige. It feels terrible.
Any luck?
@@connecticut730 Yeah man. Things turned around. I went back to my house and the night before she was going to leave we had a good talk, she decided to try and work on things. We are seeing a couple's counselor every week and things have improved tremendously.
Congrats and glad to hear 🙏
@@philmeyers3076how did you do it?
@@philmeyers3076 An awesome end to one chapter and introduction to your second one...I saw a film called Fireproof, similar crisis...one conclusion was to "study your wife" as a way to insure your love and affection as you both age, stays fresh and fireproofing your marriage. thanks from Darrell.
I have a few questions about the leadership paradigm. What do you do when you take the lead and your partner is stuck in expressing resentment thru hostile words, keeping their wall up and you are on the other side and criticism? How can the partner who is taking initiative keep their boundaries so that they are taking responsibility, working with their partner, but also not enabling abusive behavior from the other partner that is saying they are justified because they have been hurt for so long aka. choosing to remain the victim? Doesn't it take both people to take responsibility?
What do I do when my ex keep wanting to have sex with me…. She already has someone new… I’m so confused…. We were together for 14 years and have children…. She already had my replacement before she broke it off with me… and now 3 1/2 months later she has been asking me for intimacy… but still with the other man…. It’s hard to do no contact with children…. I feel confused…
hi geoffrey, we ended up deciding to be friends together would these tips still apply?
Do I share this video with her? I totally understand stand what you are saying. It is so much clearer now. Thank you
In my opinion it's better not to share. Instead learn to fix your behavioural issues and let hee see the changes. These are just my personal opinions but I think it is better not to share.
Nooo it's about you changing and yourself to better yourself and your relationship
How do I book sessions with you
New video style is cool
My partner is saying if i cannot pay the rent i cannot be back home. My job changed the payroll date so i dont have the rent money because of that. Been paying rent on time for atleast a year in a half on time never missed. So i ended up spending over 1k on her daughter's babyshower the weekend before so don't have enough to cover it.I made the mistake in trusting my job to pay me the date they said and because they changed it now i lost everything. i explained the situation but she still mad .. what do i do
@@ManuelBustamante-w8t Honest questions for yourself. If you are easily offended, stop reading here.
How did you get yourself into a position where ONE delayed payroll date can completely break your life?
Is this really your employment’s fault?
Or is this on you for not leading/managing your life or finances properly over many years, and over thousands of decisions?
Is this on you for not learning and mastering high value skills that allow you to increase your earnings potential over the years?
Can you really blame your partner for not feeing safe with you when you failed to properly lead your household, and left your household living on the edge like this?
Do you think it is this tendency to blame other people for your predicament (the same way you blamed your employers here) the same reason why you have managed to make the many “not so optimal” death by a thousand cuts decisions that has led you here in the first place?
If you know my story, I have been where you are at - until I chose to stop playing victim, take control, and take responsibility.
Is that something you are ready to do?
Wow nice!
Hey G, love your videos. I want to enroll at n your program. Is there a way I can email or speak to you, let you know of my sitution? How do I enroll?
We do discuss the way to apply in literally every single video, interview, email, and other materials we publish, so I am assuming you can figure this out on your own :)
You are a genius👏👏❤️❤️
Appreciate the kind words my man! What were your major takeaways from this video?
@@GeoffreySetiawanjust everything about the video! So well put especially the leader mindset👏👏
It's been 9 months & she steel saying mean things to me Geoff , says like to see another girl even , whenever I try to talk she doesn't involve,just blame , is there even a chance if yes tell me geoff
This video helps but I have one added ingredient which is another guy is in the picture. This has really complicated things even further.
After all the YEARS of videos and interviews with people I have who have gone through similar situations and succeeded despite, I am amazed that people still comment these things.
Does it change your focus on your need to create the 5 pillars, the layers of internal changes?
Does that change the degree and standard to which you master the above, that you need to master them until you can provide them 10x of other alternatives?
Does it really "complicate" things further?
Or do you realize that you actually need to do the exact same things, and the "complications" are just unnecessary TBUs (True, But Useless Facts), that are bred out of tetheredness?
In my situation there is a childhood friend my wife knows waiting for our divorce and she wants to see where things go with him. Same ordeal overall, you have to become the better option. I'm starting to get past the resentment and even hung out at her place for several hours the other day, a definite positive trend from her not wanting to talk about anything but our kid a month ago. Binge more of Geoffrey's videos, I went through some of them several times. It takes a while, keep absorbing all this until you start doing the right moves without thinking about it. I actually did the right thing on "accident" while tired other day because I'm making the right shifts, but it takes time and effort on your part.
I've watched many of your videos. I just seem to be making the same mistakes. I take 3 steps forward and 10 steps back. I'm working on me, but tbh I'm hurt and going through alot of emotions
@@jeremyanderson7176 Untethering from the outcome would be the thing that helps a lot in your case, you are in damage control mode and may be acting out of desperation or neediness internally which your partner can smell even if you try your best to hide it. Trying to hide it will use your willpower and you will crack at some point. Don't look for a specific outcome, look at the positives of each outcome. Keep focusing on improving yourself, after a while the process of improving yourself will yield results which will make you happy. My friends and family noticed I'm a "better person" and made many comments, which made me want to see how much further I can keep going with the improvements. It's a slow process but your focus has to be off your partner so you're not in agony, turn inward to focusing on yourself.
I need help but dont have the money right now what can I do
Get a better job or manage your finances correctly
@@Anon-qp3ktwas not helpful
My girlfriend of 7 years who I have two children with has ended our relationship.
Whilst i know there were things i could have done better, she did not make any attempt to save things (spent the last two months cheating) and now says she doesn't love me and there is no hope of reconciliation, partially because she doesn't want to hurt me anymore and she doesn't think she will ever love me again.
I feel like I have been robbed of my chance to try and fix things and its killing me inside, because before the affair i am sure we could have turned it around (i.e. fixed it) where as now she is against trying to rebuild from scratch.
Is there anything I can do?
while i cannot help you, i want u to know that you are not alone because im right now in a very similar situation as you are. my gf of 9 years decided to leave and met someone else instantly and it broke me. been trying to get back for 3 months now but everytime we met, its like shes this robot who doesnt hv feelings or shine in her eyes for me at least. im telling this to myself as well, be strong, love yourself more, take all the focus, attention, energy and love you gave to her back to yourself. value you, knock her off the pedestal and put you on it! you'll be okay. one day. we both will.
Me and my wife have been separated since may and my lease is up oct 8th but we go out on dates and are sexual and saying I love you. Idk if I should ask to move in with her or move into my own place I could really use some help
If you frame it as needing help she will probably have a negative reaction. So you don't need help you're just looking towards a future where you're closer
@@hectormejia5090guru level 🙏
I had a breakup she says that she doesnot want to have this relation anymore but i keep texting her keep textinh her family.if i stop texting and calling her?
Will she think of coming back?
How long should you wait to contact your ex knowing that it was all miscommunications during the relationship? It's been 5 weeks.
If you are convinced that she left simple because of simple "miscommunication" and that you simply clarifying the miscommunication is all it takes to get her back, basically if you want simple tactics to manipulate her mind, you came to the wrong channel & wrong video.
Geoffrey is right my friend. I will highly recommend taking time for your self really sit back and reflect on the relationship to see where you went wrong to break emotional safety with your lady. Work on your self, watch Geoffrey videos and change your mind set from a tethered state! Short term tactics will not work for long term success my friend you must do the internal work! 💯
If your wife has given up on your marriage she's probably already sleeping with someone else.
I call it "reality." How else does one explain women finding a new guy within a day or two of dumping a man? The other guy was already there.
Beyond that, the very nature of the video suggests your relationship is worth saving if your wife has given up on it. It isn't. Because there have to be both of you in it.
Actually, I left her.
After my more recent relationship ended, I did exactly what shrinks, feminists and the modern liberal thinkers tell us to do.
I sat around alone and tried to figure out what I'd been doing wrong in my relationships.
I ignored come ons, signals, etc. I stayed alone. I went on long walks, went to church, listened to music, read books, watched tv.
After a couple of years, it became normal.
So, when people say "work on yourself," especially when women say it, I don't think they really mean it.
If more (or all) men "work on themselves" the way I did, no one will be dating or sleeping together anymore. All men will become completely celibate.
I've been celibate for almost 22 years now this time.
Doesn't apply to every women
Not sure which response this is in response to.
I said "IF" she's got someone new in a few days, she probably was already with him before you and she split up.
Most men take break ups more seriously, if we were together for very long. A lot of us blame ourselves, because women are usually pretty vocal about it.
We have an unfortunate n tendency to believe what our women tell us, even if it's bad things about ourselves.