After my miscarriage, I stayed alive for my cat, Bean. Bean is the best cat I could ever have. She chirps and purrs and puts her little paws on me when she wants to be held. I stayed alive for her and she got me through it. And now I have Bean and I have a husband and a son. I almost cried hearing this
Saw this man live a couple weeks ago. He can destroy me and heal me with a few sentences, a stray word, something phrased the way that only he would phrase it.
When you’re depressed for long enough, you lose the ability to cry even if that’s all you want to do. This video never fails to help me cry and I thank you for that.
My albino rat just recently died. Her name was Yang. I spent the whole day crying in class bc I noticed that she wasn't moving before I left for school. I know that it may seem silly to be so upset about a rat, however, Yang was my best friend. That rat has been there for me through so much. This poem really captures the feelings that I had deeply for Yang. She was more than a rat...she was my best friend.
It is not silly at all. I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you can keep happy memories of Yang as your priority while your heart heals; I find this semi helps me whenever I think of my cat I lost a bit over a year ago.. I still have a hard time thinking of him, he was my everything. Just because Yang was a rodent does not make Yang any less important or bring down the relationship you two shared. ♡ I had quite a few of dwarf hamsters as a younger teen and each time they passed, it hit me so hard. I actually would get so upset that my mom got to a point of not letting me own rodents due to their short life spans and how emotionally attached I would get and therefore be devastated when they passed (being bipolar and not having it really "handled", if any bit at all, was honestly not a great situation to be set up for heartbreaks so often / along with learning how to deal with my bipolar mood swings, too if that makes sense. Probably a better thing she did for my well-being now that I look back as an adult). I think I was 15 when my last girl died.. I am a bleeding heart for all animals and animal lovers alike. Animal love along with their companionship is just as important and means so much. Don't doubt yourself at all hon!
I'm sorry Yang died, I hope she passed peacefully. This poem really got me too. I had an albino rat named Yayo, she was my first ever rat and we grew up together, I got her when I was 15 and she died when I was 19 which is a hell of a good run! she was so bald and decrepit by the end of it, but still 100% bad ass. She always knew what was up and was so much more confident and aware than the others. She was a legend with so much character, she even knew how to party! we just bonded so much. I can remember a couple of times she disappeared all day, I'd always worry but then I'd always feel her little hopping steps across my bed in the middle of the night as she went back to her cage. She was and is my best friend to this day, always remembered, never forgotten! heres to all awesome little tiny furry legends everywhere!
Danielle Strayer same! I relate to so much he writes and I have cried while listening to him more than I’ve cried over my own marriage dissolving... that’s a powerful poet.
Crying. My cat is the only one who’s seen most of my brokenness this year. You captured what it’s like to share that with an animal, along with unconditional love. Thanks for this. You were Henry’s light on the hill.
I cried watching this. It somehow resonated my current situation. I have a dog right now who has helped me in my lowest of low. My son, my first baby, was stillborn last December 2018 and Zuko, my puppy, has helped me move forward. I look at Zuko now and I feel loved. I feel happiness knowing that someone needed and craved for my affection. In spite of that, I always think that one day I'm going to have a son. A son that I can witness grow into a young man.
Zuko the MalShi I am so so sorry for your loss. I know words mean little when you are in the middle of the darkness but I think you know even though you can’t see in the dark you are not alone in it.
This mad me sob. Dude. My cat Tabu died a few years ago. It still kills me, he was 19, very very old for a Siamese, he was best friend and he didn't deserve the death his body put him through. This was beautiful. 😭
I heard this poem live before he even had a name for it back in 2016. My cat had recently passed away and I remember just silently crying by the time he finished. It was so powerful.
I heard this for this first time at the Edinburgh Fringe this year and it’s just as fantastic, heartbreaking and uplifting now as then. Neil is truly a master of the craft.
A couple months later, I adopted a kitten who had been abandoned, only a month old. His leg and tail were broken. I had a meltdown not long afterwards, but my little kitten needed me. He’s given me the will to get out of bed on days when I don’t want to, because he needs me. I need him, too
You game to my college years ago when I was still a teenager. I think it was 2016. Clark College in Vancouver, WA. I heard this poem for the first time and everything about Henry was already making me emotional, but when you said “someday I’m going to have a daughter” I started crying because I knew exactly where you were going with that and it was so relatable. I was chronically suicidal, but knew my purpose in life was to raise foster children someday. Raise the kids who were unwanted and abandoned, just like I felt I was growing up. Everything I do, I do for the lives of youth I know I’ll impact one day. So when you said that line, it resonated within me at the deepest core of my being and every word that followed after that felt like you were speaking my thoughts. And then you ended with “That’s home.” So much of my life was spent trying to escape my childhood house in search of a real home. So those words hit me like a train. I long to someday be able to look at my future children and say “I made it. This is what I kept living for. This is home.” Thank you for capturing this emotion so beautifully.
as someone who had pet rats...yeah. when they died...there were no words. it sounds stupid, to love a rat so much, but they're basically tiny dogs who will love you and cuddle with you (and sometimes annoy the hell out of you) but you can't help but love them back.
Never knew losing a pet will be this poetically sad. I had a kitten once, she died because a car hit her. I'm so heartbroken that time, she used to sleep in my chest and I can't help but to stare at her with her eyes closed. Felt like I was her mother, I love her so much. And I never write her poems and now I realize, I should. I love you Milky! It's been a while now and I miss you
Neil, my rat Lucy passed of a tumor about 20 years ago. She was my rock during a time of hardship, and watching her take her last breath on the vets operating table, broke my heart. Her surgery was a failure, and they called me midway through it to watch her pass. And here I am, almost 40 years old, still tearing up at thought of her. Unless you have owned a rat, you will not know how closely those little creatures will bond to you. Thank you for this poem!
He died in August... it's February now and I don't understand how time passed so quickly. I do not know how I lived without him before because now I don't know how to live. I suppose I needed him more than he needed me. I was the reason he came into my world, I picked him up off the street and I had the last say, I am the reason he is no longer in this world. I witness him take his bad breath, because I said it was time for him to go. No matter how I think about it, no matter how much he was suffering I cannot forgive myself for putting him down. Who am I to decide when a creature should stop living? Even when I was the one who gave him a life? Why does a 21 year old have that much power? Even when she is the one who forced medication and food down his throat so he could live? He was confused. It was as if he knew I betrayed him. It's as if he believed like I gave up on him. Do you think he would forgive me for taking his life away? Do you think I could forgive myself? Shorty, if you are born again please come back to me.
I had to get my pet rat Philbert put down today. He was old and got nasty but it was still my little rat in there. I rescued him last summer and he gave me reason to leave the bed, because Philbert needed his breakfast. We got up together and made mine and had that routine until he fell ill. He bit me so badly but I'll always have a mark to remember him by. This is helping, thank you for writing such an important little poem. People really don't realise how much rats can mean to a person, just like a dog or a cat.
this really hit me hard. we have to put my cat down after a year of the disease progressing and i know what you mean by you are somehow surprised even though he has been sick for months. i'm so sorry for your loss. i know the feeling of losing a companion you love so much. i'd give anything to heal my kitty.
I had an albino rat who died and she had a few tumors. She must have been in so much pain, but she was still there to cheer me up until the end. I miss her all the time and this poem was everything to relate to. Thank you once again Neil ❤️
Yup I had a rat named joker, he had a black head with a white mark that stretched on his chin so it looked like a smile, and he had also lived to three years but he ended up getting a tumor and had to be put down, I cried for weeks unable to do much but now I have two chinchillas and one of them I rescued who only has one eye but I love them, I love the little animals that keep me going even if it is just to feed them some food every night or to let them run around. This poem hit close to home for me
I had a very close experience with my dog " Leigh " her back legs stopped working after a spasam attack. I help her as the vet gentley put her too sleep.
if you liked this you might enjoy "explaining the human condition to my dog" by andrea gibson. peanut is still alive btw but it brings me to tears in the best way
From Neil's forthcoming book, The Future, out April 2018: bit.ly/neilfuture
This man just broke my heart over a rat I never met
Felt-
After my miscarriage, I stayed alive for my cat, Bean. Bean is the best cat I could ever have. She chirps and purrs and puts her little paws on me when she wants to be held. I stayed alive for her and she got me through it. And now I have Bean and I have a husband and a son. I almost cried hearing this
My cat's name is bean too ❤️
God bless you. And your cat to!
I love bean 💓
Saw this man live a couple weeks ago. He can destroy me and heal me with a few sentences, a stray word, something phrased the way that only he would phrase it.
When I saw him and he read this I full on cried for the rest of his set
If i see Neil i click.
Ana Raynelda Infante Exactly how I live my life
Me too. Always!
When you’re depressed for long enough, you lose the ability to cry even if that’s all you want to do. This video never fails to help me cry and I thank you for that.
“I can’t say goodbye before I’ve had a chance to say hello.”
I DIDNT THINK A RAT COULD MAKE ME SO SAD
They are the best pets
I CRIED
Bring a pair home and love them for 3 years... you'll get it.
Favorite Poet. Ever. This man’s writing is incredible.
My albino rat just recently died. Her name was Yang. I spent the whole day crying in class bc I noticed that she wasn't moving before I left for school. I know that it may seem silly to be so upset about a rat, however, Yang was my best friend. That rat has been there for me through so much. This poem really captures the feelings that I had deeply for Yang. She was more than a rat...she was my best friend.
Jada White love to you and yang. 💛
And you were Yang's best friend. Love is love, it's never silly.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Yang loved you too ❤️
It is not silly at all. I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you can keep happy memories of Yang as your priority while your heart heals; I find this semi helps me whenever I think of my cat I lost a bit over a year ago.. I still have a hard time thinking of him, he was my everything.
Just because Yang was a rodent does not make Yang any less important or bring down the relationship you two shared. ♡
I had quite a few of dwarf hamsters as a younger teen and each time they passed, it hit me so hard. I actually would get so upset that my mom got to a point of not letting me own rodents due to their short life spans and how emotionally attached I would get and therefore be devastated when they passed (being bipolar and not having it really "handled", if any bit at all, was honestly not a great situation to be set up for heartbreaks so often / along with learning how to deal with my bipolar mood swings, too if that makes sense. Probably a better thing she did for my well-being now that I look back as an adult). I think I was 15 when my last girl died.. I am a bleeding heart for all animals and animal lovers alike. Animal love along with their companionship is just as important and means so much. Don't doubt yourself at all hon!
I'm sorry Yang died, I hope she passed peacefully. This poem really got me too. I had an albino rat named Yayo, she was my first ever rat and we grew up together, I got her when I was 15 and she died when I was 19 which is a hell of a good run! she was so bald and decrepit by the end of it, but still 100% bad ass. She always knew what was up and was so much more confident and aware than the others. She was a legend with so much character, she even knew how to party! we just bonded so much. I can remember a couple of times she disappeared all day, I'd always worry but then I'd always feel her little hopping steps across my bed in the middle of the night as she went back to her cage. She was and is my best friend to this day, always remembered, never forgotten! heres to all awesome little tiny furry legends everywhere!
If I see Neil, I have to watch it. I'll stop doing anything to watch him.
Danielle Strayer i caused a flare up in my chronic pain condition just to see Neil, and i’ll be doing it again for Sabrina when she comes to the UK
Danielle Strayer same! I relate to so much he writes and I have cried while listening to him more than I’ve cried over my own marriage dissolving... that’s a powerful poet.
Its funny,it doesnt matter how many great poets upload between Neil's uploads, his are always my favorite...in tears
Neil is the only person who gets it
Man, this made me cry
i found this awhile back and it’s always made me cry. but today my heart rat passed away and im listening to it again. its hitting so much harder.
Crying. My cat is the only one who’s seen most of my brokenness this year. You captured what it’s like to share that with an animal, along with unconditional love. Thanks for this. You were Henry’s light on the hill.
I don't even have words. I love him.
I just cried. Now I’m cuddling my dog. Pets are amazing
"named proof that something can need me and still love me" NEIL
I cried watching this. It somehow resonated my current situation. I have a dog right now who has helped me in my lowest of low. My son, my first baby, was stillborn last December 2018 and Zuko, my puppy, has helped me move forward. I look at Zuko now and I feel loved. I feel happiness knowing that someone needed and craved for my affection. In spite of that, I always think that one day I'm going to have a son. A son that I can witness grow into a young man.
Zuko the MalShi I am so so sorry for your loss. I know words mean little when you are in the middle of the darkness but I think you know even though you can’t see in the dark you are not alone in it.
Neil Hilborn, you do it every time.
Thank you for your beautiful words as always.
All his poems make me cry ❤️
This mad me sob. Dude. My cat Tabu died a few years ago. It still kills me, he was 19, very very old for a Siamese, he was best friend and he didn't deserve the death his body put him through. This was beautiful. 😭
That was amazingggg😭😭always cry at his poems
Neil is my favorite.
As someone who has had 12 pet rats, they are never just a rat. My last boy is with me now, and I cherish him like my own heartbeat.
I heard this poem live before he even had a name for it back in 2016. My cat had recently passed away and I remember just silently crying by the time he finished. It was so powerful.
I know Henry Loves this poem❤
I'VE MISSED YOU NEIL
Neil Hilborn is literally my fav poet. This upload made my day
I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH. BLESSED MY EARS ONCE AGAIN!!!
i remember hearing this during his first UK show, Neil is such an inspiring man
It doesn’t matter how many times I hear this one, it still gives me chills.
Neil _always_ make me so emotional, damn
HOLY SHIT HOW DID A POEM ABOUT A RAT MAKE ME CRY WITHIN THE FIRST 30 SECONDS OF WATCHING IT
I heard this for this first time at the Edinburgh Fringe this year and it’s just as fantastic, heartbreaking and uplifting now as then.
Neil is truly a master of the craft.
A couple months later, I adopted a kitten who had been abandoned, only a month old. His leg and tail were broken. I had a meltdown not long afterwards, but my little kitten needed me.
He’s given me the will to get out of bed on days when I don’t want to, because he needs me. I need him, too
You game to my college years ago when I was still a teenager. I think it was 2016. Clark College in Vancouver, WA. I heard this poem for the first time and everything about Henry was already making me emotional, but when you said “someday I’m going to have a daughter” I started crying because I knew exactly where you were going with that and it was so relatable. I was chronically suicidal, but knew my purpose in life was to raise foster children someday. Raise the kids who were unwanted and abandoned, just like I felt I was growing up. Everything I do, I do for the lives of youth I know I’ll impact one day. So when you said that line, it resonated within me at the deepest core of my being and every word that followed after that felt like you were speaking my thoughts. And then you ended with “That’s home.” So much of my life was spent trying to escape my childhood house in search of a real home. So those words hit me like a train. I long to someday be able to look at my future children and say “I made it. This is what I kept living for. This is home.” Thank you for capturing this emotion so beautifully.
I love every poem Neil has written, I've liked his page on Facebook and everything he posts.
This made me cry so much. Reminds me of my ARIES. he was more than a dog. He was my only best friend. I will never forget those 14 years together.
I was bawling by the end of this man.
Neil makes me bawl my eyes out.
as someone who had pet rats...yeah. when they died...there were no words. it sounds stupid, to love a rat so much, but they're basically tiny dogs who will love you and cuddle with you (and sometimes annoy the hell out of you) but you can't help but love them back.
i cant stop crying.
This, this, this, all of this.
So intense. So much passion in his voice. So much connection.
“Just like she’ll need me alive then, she needs me alive now”
I listen to this and cry while I hold my sleeping daughter.... ❤️
God I love how Neil writes 😭
How *dare* you make me feel emotions...
Tears, every damn time.
Tears..every GODDAMN time. This man ...POET GOALS!
I don't remember crying before with such intensity. That was beautiful.
he always made me cry but i still love his poetry and can't stop myself from watching 😭
I missed ya dude
Beautiful as always
Never knew losing a pet will be this poetically sad. I had a kitten once, she died because a car hit her. I'm so heartbroken that time, she used to sleep in my chest and I can't help but to stare at her with her eyes closed. Felt like I was her mother, I love her so much. And I never write her poems and now I realize, I should.
I love you Milky! It's been a while now and I miss you
He's so amazing!
Neil never fails to deliver. Beautiful poem!
Neil, my rat Lucy passed of a tumor about 20 years ago. She was my rock during a time of hardship, and watching her take her last breath on the vets operating table, broke my heart. Her surgery was a failure, and they called me midway through it to watch her pass. And here I am, almost 40 years old, still tearing up at thought of her. Unless you have owned a rat, you will not know how closely those little creatures will bond to you. Thank you for this poem!
Honestly you are my favourite poet your delivery is beautiful and painful and I just love you and your poetry
He died in August... it's February now and I don't understand how time passed so quickly. I do not know how I lived without him before because now I don't know how to live. I suppose I needed him more than he needed me. I was the reason he came into my world, I picked him up off the street and I had the last say, I am the reason he is no longer in this world. I witness him take his bad breath, because I said it was time for him to go. No matter how I think about it, no matter how much he was suffering I cannot forgive myself for putting him down. Who am I to decide when a creature should stop living? Even when I was the one who gave him a life? Why does a 21 year old have that much power? Even when she is the one who forced medication and food down his throat so he could live? He was confused. It was as if he knew I betrayed him. It's as if he believed like I gave up on him. Do you think he would forgive me for taking his life away? Do you think I could forgive myself? Shorty, if you are born again please come back to me.
Oh god I love him, he's my favorite poet.
I love this man so much
God... he makes me feel so much.
The first day I heard this was the day we lost our 17 year old cat. I cried so hard. I feel this poem too much.
He’s so amazing live 💕
I had to get my pet rat Philbert put down today. He was old and got nasty but it was still my little rat in there. I rescued him last summer and he gave me reason to leave the bed, because Philbert needed his breakfast. We got up together and made mine and had that routine until he fell ill. He bit me so badly but I'll always have a mark to remember him by. This is helping, thank you for writing such an important little poem. People really don't realise how much rats can mean to a person, just like a dog or a cat.
fuck i love this man's works
Something needed me once and something will need me again
My favorite writer of all time.
That was so powerful omg I’m actually crying right now ❤️
every time I see Neil i stop what I'm doing and I watch whatever it is
this is so gorgeous i am crying
I'm so incredibly excited about seeing him in March T-T
Beautiful poem!
I’m crying
this really hit me hard. we have to put my cat down after a year of the disease progressing and i know what you mean by you are somehow surprised even though he has been sick for months. i'm so sorry for your loss. i know the feeling of losing a companion you love so much. i'd give anything to heal my kitty.
Your daughter will be wonderful and so lucky to have you.
I had an albino rat who died and she had a few tumors. She must have been in so much pain, but she was still there to cheer me up until the end. I miss her all the time and this poem was everything to relate to. Thank you once again Neil ❤️
Yup I had a rat named joker, he had a black head with a white mark that stretched on his chin so it looked like a smile, and he had also lived to three years but he ended up getting a tumor and had to be put down, I cried for weeks unable to do much but now I have two chinchillas and one of them I rescued who only has one eye but I love them, I love the little animals that keep me going even if it is just to feed them some food every night or to let them run around. This poem hit close to home for me
Beautiful. ❤
I literally cried holly crap
Just had to put my dog down the other day, coming back to watch this just to have something to relate to
this was so soso beautiful, and deep, and you did such a good job, and your feelings are valid. its gunna b ok.
I cried
Neil, you rock
Ow my heart 💔💔💔
I had a very close experience with my dog " Leigh " her back legs stopped working after a spasam attack. I help her as the vet gentley put her too sleep.
why did i cry
1:00 is where this made me cry.
I’m crying?
i love neil
Aww this is so sweet💕💕
I love rats and this really hit home. I was crying the entire time lol Neil never ceases to amaze! ❤
Always so amazing 😣😍
Hi Neil. I just wanted to tell you how much your poems have meant to me.
So beautiful
Neil = drop everything and watch
fav poet
if you liked this you might enjoy "explaining the human condition to my dog" by andrea gibson. peanut is still alive btw but it brings me to tears in the best way
Don’t know why I’m crying in the club right now
I may or may not be crying at my work desk rn.