Thanks for watching! This is edited from a stream I did last Friday. The streams give us a chance to go into a bit more detail compared to the video, and cover a couple more angles that I cut out from the video. Plus I can hear directly from you guys! I stream Fridays @ 7.15 EST so feel free to come along :)
Yea, nobody needs kids anymore. Robots will be taking care of us in our old age. And best of all, robots won't be secretly hoping for us to "pass on" so they can sell the family house and empty the bank account as quickly as possible.
It's not that we don't want kids, it's that we can not afford to have kids, neither financially nor mentally and physically - or have partners for that matter - and also lead a somewhat ''normal'' life. (By ''normal'' I mean it as in ''not having to live paycheck to paycheck - or worse.'') Nobody with even half a brain cell in their head, wants to spend 9-14 or more hours a day on work (including getting ready and travel time) just so they can barely afford to pay bills, food, fuel for the car, all the necessities for yourself and the home and meals on the job. I have a so called ''above average pay'' for my countries standards and a so called ''average pay'' for EU standards... And yet, after I go shopping for food and necessities for the month, fill up my car, pay the bills, split 20 work days worth of cash for my work break meals, I am left with only €200-€250 for spending - and keep in mind, that's without buying ANYTHING ELSE, meaning no fruits, no sweets or snacks, no clothes, no new phones, no bank loans to pay off, no car loans to pay off, in short, no spending money on ANYTHING ELSE and I mean ANYHTING ELSE, only the aforementioned - basically living like a hobo with a job, if I want to save up the entire sum of €250+/- that is left of my paycheck. AND I BARELY HAVE FREE TIME TO LIVE MY LIFE on top of barely having any money to save up. And that's not even the worst part, the worst part is that I've gotten 2 promotions so far and my monthly pay has been raised 4 times (€200 per) ever since I got this job (4 years ago) and yet, I am left with less money at the end of each month, than I did 4 years ago when my pay was only €220 above minimum wage... Not even 4 years ago, I had approx. €400-€450 left for spending, which is DOUBLE the amount I am left with at the end of the month now, with an €800 higher pay... And then they want us to have kids - or even partners?! I CAN BARELY AFFORD TO SUPPORT MYSELF, HOW WILL I SUPPORT MY WIFE, LET ALONE KIDS!?!? And then when you try to do ANYTHING to earn money so you can live what you would consider a normal life, you can't because the whole system is set up so that whatever you try to do, it's either illegal to do or you have to pay the government crazy amount of money and/or taxes to do so, (e.g starting a business) making it impossible to even start doing that unless you already have money... The controlled, artificial inflations, the controlled system... It's just control, control, control everywhere... They just want total control over us and over our lives and what we can and can't do... I am getting waves of crippling depression just writing this comment...
I think if you go back another level, they don't want meat for the grinder. This is the desired outcome. The future is Sarco Pods once things get lopsided enough.
This is not true, though. Western civilizations educate their populations, which is measurable. 15% of the world population thinks analytically while the rest think holistically. By any measure, that would mean that an educated population makes self-actualizing decisions. The difference is in local governments. Also measurable when you compare a red educated population to a blue educated population, a phenomenon so wild, it was studied because our red state education still produces holistic thinkers instead of analytical thinkers. I can't find the link to the research paper, but look up the term WEIRD (Western, educated, industrialized, rich, developed). It's the acronym that was used to explain what it takes to be an analytical thinker. Our undereducated population can be manipulated to vote against themselves and with the right gerrymandering, the educated population gets nothing.
@@BreakingGaia Close, but in reality, they can be manipulated into thinking their vote actually matters when it absolutely does not. Voting against themselves is irrelevant, since every option is that.
@@BlazingOwnager It absolutely does matter. It matters at your local level the most, the elections the rich systematically swindle the public to not care about. Who runs your schools and community should be the most important vote you make because that's where your voice matters most. When we build strong communities focused on demanding their share of the pie, we build a collective society that puts the well-being of the community above profits and rich people's comforts. It's time for us to force the rich to pay heavily to stay comfortable by transferring their wealth to our own communities. Invest in US, not them.
i guess everyone forgot how that guy did the mice experiment to test malthus' ideas and after the mice reached a peak population, they all stopped breeding and then died
I see the parallel as well between men and women. The comfort of the men depends on an abundant supply of women. Women take on more domestic, childcare duties, and career sacrifices, to allow men to focus on making money for his own bank account. Most women do not get financially compensated for the work they do around the house and children because their husbands do not split income with them. If men were to stay home and be the homemaker, they would certainly demand some sorts of compensation so they aren't working for their wives for free while their wives climb career and stuff bank account with money. Men's comfort depends on the sacrifices of women. As more and more women refuse to marry, date, hook up, or have kids, men would suffer. As more and more women decides not to have kids, men's supply of future young women they hope to replace their aging wives with dwindle. This is why we see men angry at childfree single women but never women angry at childfree single men. Women simply benefit men more than women with men.
@@hteacave And it has only been the last 50 years that women can even have their own bank accounts. The only reason the system seemed to work was because women were dependent on men. Of course, for many women this was a life of intolerable abuse with no way to escape.
My dad worked 40h, my mom 20h a week. They were able to build a house, raise 3 kids, take us on 2-3 vacations around the world per year and afford two cars. I work 40h, my girlfriend works 48h. Both of us are top 10% salaried employees. We cannot afford a house. Not even close.
True but back when I was a kid in the 1970's I remember parents still had kids with less money today we all want to live rich. Kids slept in the same bed until they were 10. Homes were modest didn't spend so much money as we do today. Don't buy 3500 sq new home with a pool, and 3 car garage.
Depends where you're looking, and how high your standards are. There's a nice 3-bedroom for sale right next to me, in a decent neighborhood, for $150K. I'm guessing your looking in the $350K-600K range, and going "We cannot afford a house. Not even close."
I think the fact that the houses that our parents lived in are now quite a bit more expensive than they were then .. The house my parents owned was a 3k sq foot house. They bought it for 85,000. My house... MUCH MUCh smaller. Half the sq footage is closer to 130k... And I move out away from the city for cheaper pricing. Our salaries didn't keep up with this either. So this right here is likely why people aren't affording houses... I'm lucky I can afford the one I have. It's just barely that I'm able to.
@@marcmarc1967 a mortgage on a $400k house with 20% down is only like $2700/month (including insurance and property taxes). My wife and I are in our later 20s and make a combined $250k. $2700/month is pretty affordable imo. The original commenter says they’re in the top 10% so if a home is “unaffordable” to them, they must have absurd expectations and expect a $1M home.
You said it perfectly. There is no fertility crisis. Only a worker crisis. They want to fix it by trying to make people have kids instead of increasing wages, putting a price ceiling on necessities and groceries, or any other solution
@@sgnibble1 The thing is, even most of the privileged people I know do not have and do not want to have kids. So I agree with the vid final thoughts, people see how bad the system we live in is and simply do not want to bring new people into it. And it's a sum of all elements: housing crisis in most places around the world, wages not following the increase of basic necessities like food, uncertainty of many industries due to the shift to "green" energy and production, lack of support for young families in most places around the world, and in the end? Unfair compensation for work, and it's tru for almost all positions and most industries across the globe. Unless you're a CEO or a high ranked manager in some corporation, then the world is a great place to be right now!
This is the fate of most people in capitalism. We just waste our lives making the capitalist rich while we get barely anything in return for our own work. If we lived in a meritocracy it would be the workers earning the wealth, but in capitalism it’s the owners who do no work but own the company who get the profit.
Exactly. If I was in a country with healthcare or cheap organic vegetables/fruits/ grass fed beef... it would be a different story. We don't even pay teachers enough. So many people have had bad experiences with horrible teachers. If the setting is bad, then why would people want to have kids? The only way to know that your family won't suddenly be in medical debt, always have access to a good butcher where you know the meat is healthy for kids, and be able to afford the best private schools... is if you are well off. And I mean VERY well off. A 100k job is not enough for medical expenses to be paid out of pocket when insurance companies will find loopholes not to pay for things. I can't even get my insurance to pay for dental cleaning more than once a year even though my dentist says I need it. Why would I bring a child into this world??? Most importantly, if a complication were to happen to me during a pregnancy... it might be illegal for a doctor to save my life. Abortion is a reassuring safety net. We know we will live to try again with a healthy pregnancy that would not be placing our lives in danger. Republicans have taken that away, too. No one who is smart and middle class is taking chances with a pregnancy.
Animals in captivity often breed less due to stress, limited space, disrupted social structures, and unnatural environments. Poor diet or health issues can also impact fertility.
Born a peasant, went to college, got a 4-year degree, worked 3 jobs simultaneously for years, still a peasant, realized I’m a forever-poor corporate slave, life is too hard, I love my unborn child too much to bring them into this world where they too will be a peasant corporate slave. Life is awful when you’re poor, enslaved and exploited, gee I wonder why no one wants to bring children into this mess.
Dude, how do you think the rich got rich? It's always a generational thing, and if you don't breed, your lineage ends with a "peasant corporate slave". Change my mind.
It's the lack of stable employment after college. Insecure and unaffordable housing, frequent layoffs, too few living wage jobs, hours too long, benefits nonexistant, unaffordable healthcare. Not exactly a recipe to produce kids. What the f did they expect? We told them the job situation was shite and they didn't care. Now they see the consequence and are crying about it.
I've spent my life since a kid reading sci-fi in the 1990's thinking about how to better the planet and the working class. Cooperative systems are necessary. But so is belief in something greater than humanity. Money has been turned into a false god. I am a secular person but I think people need sacred things & places. Not all of nature should be "untouched" in fact some of the best habitat for wild animals is on permaculture farms. Politically, America needs a new paradigm. One that respects our best traditions while naming & atoning for mistakes of the past. The new ACP looks promising. The technology for universal abundance for both humanity and wildlife exists. Our wildest dreams are just beyond the next hill, but it will take work to get there.
As a Taiwanese woman who doesn’t have kids, I would like to tell you it’s mainly because the working environment here is simply bad. Children are forced to enter a very competitive education system as early as possible, and I don’t want anybody to experience the same struggle as I did.
I noticed the same about Korea. But how to explain to a government that the entire society is just wrong and the individuals are therefore not inclined to procreate?
@@fb7876I feel US isnt far off from that same situation. People are having kids if they can bc its something people like to do, but many my age are not figuring it out so easy.
Reminder, women fought long and hard to slave away for a cold boss and to be an extra tax cow for the government. I am a woman too btw ( sad state of times where I have to reveal my gender)...
Thailand is even worse. Kids young as 2 are sent to learn 2 or 3 languages. Then once they reach around 7 years of age, they stay in school from 7am to 6pm everyday till they finish university. Aside of that they still get loads of homework and go to private turos schools on weekends. They simply dont have time for themselves, to be kids, to play.. But even with all those hours spent sdudying, one would thought that they will be so good and knowleageble. But in fact Thailand is amongst one of the lowest in kids knowledge. its the weirdest country for kids..even cruel imho.
USA here - My former coworker and his wife left the hospital 1 day after their baby's birth with $18,000 in medical debt, but atleast they have a home to raise their child in and they can invest in their home or use the equity to cover their debt. My husband ans I rent and we can't afford $18,000 dollars - and that's with both of us working, so we don't even have the time for a child - what kind of childhood could we even provide without our own home, without time, without financial stability and security? We'll likely be infertile before we achieve any stability, security or finally have our own home. We're busy trying to survive, so understandably it's not our task to repopulate the world.
Definitely, it's so thoughtful of you to think that as you can't provide for the children you shouldn't bring one. And for sure understand you . Moreover don't worry about the re -population 8 billion almost. Earth need break from people.
I heard another commenter on a different video describe it as the GenZ and Millennials who grew up aware that they were financial and lifestyle burdens on their parents are now the people who would be having kids, but after being raised by people who spent all their time working and resentful they had no free tine outside of work and family, we dont want to perpetuate the cycle
I had a child and it was second worst mistake of my life. My child is profoundly disabled and has a healthy body, but cognition and mind of a toddler. I changed diapers for 11 years for him. He is also non-verbal and we have never been able to have the simplest of conversations. I would give up my life for him in a nanosecond. But, I couldn't cure him and reared him alone when my ex left us. So, having a child cost me greatest sorrow of my life. I would never do it again.
This statement was probably the most impactful statement to me. Governments want workers - so how about improvements in productivity, increased use of robotics, AI, and other tools, etc.. Have society create goods and services more efficiently, and let the humans work on improving their quality of life, life satisfaction, and optimism about the future.
I am a Russian woman and I also don’t have children, but not because I don’t earn enough or I have nowhere to live, but because I simply don’t want children. I don’t want this responsibility, I don’t want to be responsible for the whole life of another living person. I haven’t lived enough for myself to devote the rest of my life to a child. I don’t want to lose my job, I don’t want to be chained to a child. I didn’t have a normal childhood, I lived through the 90s, my family lived poorly, in poverty and there was chaos in the country. And now that I have an education, earn enough and can finally live well, travel, pursue my hobbies, should I give this up for the sake of raising a child? No way! I am making up for what I was deprived of in my childhood and youth, I have no time for children.
Staying child-free is a personal choice. And just like any life experiences motherhood is a major one in a woman's life. You may regret later as you'll miss out on a significant life experience.
@@Tuqtgref I can't believe that someone told you explicitly that they don't want children and your kneejerk rejection is THE stereotypical "bUt yOu mIgHt ReGreT iT" - I thought we were past that as a society
@@MarxMuru Today's generation is self-oriented refusing to take responsibility of anyone or anything...People long for short term pleasures and live-in relationships instead of long term commitment, devotion, connections and love. Imagine if your parents had the same mentality as you,, then you wouldn't be here.
Exactly, I want my kid to have a good life and if I can't provide that, despite making decent money, then I'm not giving the government another workhorse.
Exactly. Didn't see Elon Musk or Bill Gates having issues with children. Automation and AI will fill a gap eventually. Poor people will understand they never had a chance in genetically race, and rich people will finally have something to replace hand and legs of working class. Tbh, if poor, don't accept gene editing and artificial breeding, they won't have much chance with genetically rich counterparts in school or jobs...
Its simple, the world is not built around having families anymore. Most jobs require you missing from home half or more of the day. How are you then going to raise a child when you can barely get to see it? And one parent staying at home isnt rly viable anymore. Its one of the reasons why kids nowdays are so underdeveloped, sure inexperienced parents, social media etc have an effect but a big part of that is the fact that people barely have time to spend with ther kids anymore. And then when you do get home and decide to spend time with your kid, you're exhausted both mentally and physically and cant give them the care they need.
pretty sure Victorian London wasn't built around having families either. It's just that actually raising children takes a lot of money now, who also can't work. Victorian London, little Timmy at age 8 could have been working as a newspaper boy or something. 8 year old Timmy today is probably just playing and being bored studying.
I mean that was the case in the 80's and 90's though, right? Gen X is famously called the "latchkey kids" or the "latchkey generation" because their parents were away from home so much in the after school and evening times. The birth rate of those parents was fine I think you're right that there has been a shift in parenting though. I think the attitude then was that it was okay but I don't know any young people now who see being away from your kids that long and everyday as being acceptable. Plus the cost, physical, social, financial, mental, etc. is outrageous
@@rayzerot I think the reason for that shift in attitude towards parenting is because those kids have now grown up, and they realize how affected they were by their parents absence. They don't want to do that to their kids. Not to mention so many grew up seeing their parents fight a lot and eventually divorce and then had to deal with the consequences of that situation. There are so many reasons for people not wanting kids anymore, but I do think the fact that so many have had terrible examples of parenting is one of the bigger reasons. And of course it only becomes harder to be a parent the more unstable and unsustainable an economy is, so it's only getting worse.
the fact that my parents werent around is why i believe i have a hard time seeing myself as a parent i wasnt shown how to be a parent myself and i have no one to show me how to be one and guide me when the time comes.
@@GameFuMaster but Timmy's mom didn't have any choice but to give 8 births and send children to work. Women never was so into motherhood. Poor ones sent children to work, rich ones gave them to nannys. Being a caring full-time mother is a new thing.
Just 30 years ago a single man could earn enough to feed a family of 4 and buy a house, nowadays 2 working parents still can't afford that house together, go figure
Maybe cuz the prices were already much kuch higher then? If we talking about 1 mans paycheck to feed a family of 4 then that'd be before ww2 (I'd assume atleast since the prices skyrocketed back then and never changed)@@tklasson
As long as we manage to get to the point where the population is starting to drop before climate change is so bad as to be irrepairable, that should improve. The efficiency programs in terms of things like fuel efficiency and power consumption will still exist even as the population starts to drop. And with there being fewer people, that will likely compound to put things back the way they should be in a few generations afterwards. It's really the damage between now and then that's the real problem.
As someone who grew up poor, I made a promise to myself that I would never consider kids if I didn’t have the financial means. In today’s world, even a “good” salary won’t cut it, so it’s off the table for me.
Exactly that, how on earth are people supposed to afford kids when it’s difficult enough to pay for rent, food and bills and just to keep yourself afloat 🤷♀️
@@szymonbaranowski8184I think it is the opposite of selfishness. People don't want to expose children to the severe risks of the world situation. Who wants to expose their children to Trump and Vance?
@@szymonbaranowski8184 not really. Have a kid. You can't afford to pay for food to eat yourself. Without food, you slowly get weak with each day having to skip eating just to pay the bills. Once you collapse and you can't work. You can't pay your bill or feed anyone. Once you can't work or feed anyone or pay the bills. You are in the streets with a baby trying to survive by any means necessary.
Heard! 31 and childless. U.S. Government needs to give us MORE freedoms instead of LESS , and maybe then I’ll consider bringing a beautiful soul onto this Earth. There’s plenty of children to adopt and plenty of immigrants needing work.
Here is a crazy idea fam. You are probably young to have that ideology. Try this. Work your ass off. Save money. Live poor. Have children. Invest in them. Buy a house. Doesn't have to be perfect. You now have set up your child to be the fucking stockholder.
I mean thats in rich countries, and immigration already takes care of that, meanwhile the 3rd world keeps reproducing for their masters(1st world populus) so their masters jave cheaper coffee.
Women are tired of sending their sons off to war to die and watching their daughters be abused and preyed upon. From a moral standpoint alone I could not bring a child into this world knowing they would suffer just so the war machine can keep on grinding.
The problem with giving people money to have kids is that it does nothing to make housing, food and care more affordable. People see the cost of all those things and realize they have to produce an incredibly competitive kid for it to not fall into poverty later in life. Parents don't wanna shoulder that massive risk.
No, the problem with giving people money to have kids, is that the money is often not enough or simply a one off. And if you do give people enough money to raise kids, you end up having to raise taxes, which just makes the free money not enough again, and the cycle never ends. Like the pension.
@@GameFuMaster not only that, is gives wrong people incentive to have children - alcoholics and drug addicts etc. We don't need poor families with 8+ children, neglected, no education and no prospects in life. They are less likely to create stable families themselves.
I genuinely think that at the end of the day people want their kid to have a better life than them, or at least good odds at having a similar life, and that's just not the current view of the future. It feels irresponsible bringing a child into the world right now if you actually care about their childhood now and their future later
Capitalism only values short term productivity. Having kids lowers that. So it has negative value. Thus everything was made to ensure people don t have kids. (Housing, school, food were made inaffordable. No free time, no money, no at home partner to raise the kids) Not even mentionning the destruction of environnement and war paths from many countries...
Your last quote was perfect. "governments aren't trying to create self-actualized happy positive individuals they're trying to create meat for the grinder." This sums up SO many of the "crisis" we have.
You shouldn’t be relying on anyone else to create the life you want for yourself, especially the government. Only YOU can create a life that will make you happy.
governments are not trying to do anything its like 5 million people who are poorly organized. and what do you mean by "grinder" exactly. you mean people who farm for food? you know so others can eat? or people who make roads so we can drive places? since when has living ever been not a grinder. you know people used to have to walk 10 miles down to a river to collect dirty water people an animals shit in on a daily basis. that sounds more of a grind than 99% of jobs are today. life is easy. to say that people are justified in wanting to go extinct because there is an expectation that people work to produce things to have the right to consume things other people produce is a wild level of entitlement.
Governments are also generally run by older men, men who were raised in a world that literally doesn't exist anymore. In most cases, they're doing their level best to create an environment that they think will allow the next generation to flourish; their failure is in not realizing that, because the world has changed, they can't just run systems the same way they've been run for 200 years and expect to blithely get the same results. The old men that run government aren't agile enough to pivot in time to accomodate the needs of a rapidly changing world. They aren't evil, they're just dinosaurs.
@@JobeCourtneyThe government is what controls incredibly important standards like the tax rates, inflation rates, and interest rates. This directly affects the ability to accumulate wealth and provide for loved ones.
People expecting the government to turn them into "self-actualized happy positive individuals" is an even bigger problem. Take some responsibility for yourself.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 18 years. We can't afford to get married─ I would lose my medical insurance. We can't afford a house. We're waiting to inherit a house from his family member. I worked for about 15 years after college in a number of different jobs that spanned multiple years, never had benefits and never earned more than minimum wage. He has a literal nepo job through his dad, a huge leg up. We both want to be parents. I've wanted to be a mom for the past ten years. We even have names picked out for our future kids. A few weeks ago, my boyfriend went through our finances, looked at his taxes. He put his head in his hands and let out a huge sigh. He told me he doesn't make enough to afford kids. He doesn't know how we'll ever be able to have them. It killed a part of my soul seeing him feel so ashamed thinking that he's essentially failing as a man. With 40 years old creeping up on me, I'm starting to accept that we'll just never be parents.
I´m so sorry to hear that! It breaks my heart. But sometimes having a kid without being fully prepared, financially or not, can pay off too. Waiting for the perfect conditions will juist drain you out mentally and emotionally because perfect conditions just DON’T exist for the middle class and never will. Only the very rich can have that luxury. But not only them have children who turn out ok, yes? It´s like expecting for corruption and crime rates do drop to absolute zero before walking out of home and paying taxes.It’s a self defeating thought.
@@denisserivera89that’s not the point dude. The point is that they can’t afford kids, doesn’t matter if they’re biological or adopted, they can’t afford it
What a cope-out. People used to have kids in one bedroom houses, where a family of 8 would live. Now, I'm not telling you to live like this, but to claim that you can't even have ONE child with a nepo baby, it's absolutely delusional, and shows you aren't willing to sacrifice even a smudge of your comfort. Which all things considered might be a good sign you shouldn't have one.
38 year old, childfree, CPA here: I learned something from my dad @ a young age. He used to always say "don't go to the store or anywhere without money to buy...". I didn't understand @ the time, but I do now. Money is necessary to raise kids. The US doesn't care AT ALL about childcare, it's just work, work, work. Well, im not giving life when I don't have the means. Being poor sucks, getting evicted is scary, not having money for necessities & a little leisure after working 40+ hours makes you depressed. I'm proud to not have children. Every parent I know is exhausted, living paycheck to paycheck & most of the labor fell on mothers. My peace & happiness mean more to me then doing what's expected of me. I refuse to have a child where daycare is a mortgage pmt, healthcare is expensive, education system is trash & based on standardized testing, its HOT AF outside & ppl believe climate change isnt real, & just no support. So in other words I'm not going to the store where I ain't got the money. Thanks Dad. 😊❤
& that's wonderful for you! however im growing tired of this sentiment that just bc someone else decides to be a parent (which naturally will be a lot more work than not being a parent) that their being tired means they are unhappy.
@@imporish1456 As someone who constantly tired without having kids: no one said that being tired is the same as being unhappy. You can be super happy while simultaneously feeling like your eyes are slow-cooking from inside your head because you're so fucking tired. Being tired just sucks no matter how happy or unhappy you are, it's a miserable physical state to be in.
@@homelessalcoholic2716 I have worked a lot with elderly customers. Trust me, you'll be lonely at that nursing home too, no matter how many children you have. Modern society does not allow people time to take care of their elderly even if they wanted to.
Money has never been a problem to having babies. I just think people over thinking it. I want kids period. I’ll make it work. It’s just excuses honestly. 😭
@@sandrarenteria2249Umm...yes it is? Besides, what if there's just no excuse? I don't want children because I don't have the mental state to take care of one (I would probably hit them out of anger just like my mother did) also here in my country money IS the problem, our politicians shit on us and on our constitution.💀
@@candelalorente9034 Do you hit everyone when they make you angry ? I think that is something you should reflect on. I was very much physically and mentally abused as a child. But my dear how old are you exactly? Before I go on. 😭
But that's pretty much always been the case in history. I think it's just that people don't feel the need to have kids like they used to. Not because of anything bad but actually because of how good we have it now.
@@ryan-ci9sl3mt3jI don't want to have kids because I wouldn't want to bring a new life into this world. The economy will be rigged against them, the climate will be trying to kill them in self defence against our overconsumption and corporations will be competing to destroy their neurology for clicks and advertising revenue. I would feel cruel to put a child through all that without their consent. (Being born isn't a choice the child gets)
Easier said, than done! Here in Greece, if the woman also works equal hours with a man, we haven't any social service or state structure to take care for the children and provide a decent meal after school, until parents return home. Usually, grandmothers or mothers - in-law take that role here, if they live. But what about the vast majority? You live abroad and maybe you have the necessary childcare infrastructure. We in the poor European North don't have it, so women must work less hours in order to rise a child. Conclusions don't apply the same everywhere...
@@mariabrch8760 Greece is not the poor European north, it’s the poor European south. Up north parents indeed do work fewer hours to raise children, but we can actually afford to work fewer hours. We don’t need both parents to work fulltime to sustain a family, in fact only a small percentage of Dutch workers work 40 hours a week. The average hours worked is 29.
@@caty863 It strongly depends on the country. Some African countries like Nigeria are honestly in similar shape as Bulgaria, Greece or southern Italy. Some African countries like Morocco are better than those and more comparable to Croatia. Only the Northern half of Europe is significantly better, and that’s only partially including the UK.
It's the West media that's always biased towards their country they never show bad side they always hide the news that damage their superiority image and they also never show the good side of other countries like Africans Asians @@caty863
The only reason I’m not poor is because I don’t have children. My income would drop significantly if I had to pay for childcare and reduce my hours, which means I’d lose my house. I worked too damn hard to put a stable roof over my head and I’m not prepared to throw that away to pop out children I don’t want.
That would be a very one-dimensional perception, though not entirely untrue off course if you just look at the point of view of those who hold power. But a strong young generation offers so much more.
It's also the reason women are not wanting kids. When they can have their own income and not literally depend on a marriage for that, they make a calculated move to have or not have kids. The way men have been raised or the quality of men she is around to economic reasons, all of it comes to play.
1000% this. I'm only 23 and already sick off all the politicians and the state. Aint no way i'm gonna be paying them until i cant work anymore and THEN have to still somehow make extra money to survive like what??? Even older people now already have a problem eith getting enough money, imagine how its gonna be for our generation in like 50 years time....
A better question might be why do you believe someone can't find fulfilling work in life? Sounds pretty self defeating to hold such a false belief if your goal is to be happy.
@@skachor to add on to that, why is it so hard to find a job that makes us happy. The whole, just work hard and you'll achive all your dreams, it's true like we've been led to believe. It lead to a lot of pessimism.
Not having kids because of work culture is a horrible excuse. Just say an actual reason. A life isn’t and won’t be defined about your 50 hour work week. How about you raise them to do something where they won’t be employees?
We tend to treat our kin with a care and attention we fail to offer ourselves. For many parents, it is the child that permits them to improve physically, mentally, and financially simply because the will to sacrifice is motivating. Fitness is improved in the process of carrying, chasing, and caring for the child. Mental issues shrink into insignificance, as does the hold of the streams of alarmist propaganda and FOMO that irritate them. Financial distress born of wasteful spending and the “bailout man” strategy is remedied, whereas for men, creature comforts are sacrificed readily almost as an impulse. Of course this is only true of people whose nature conforms with effective child rearing, and excuses such as yours tend to come from those who simply don’t have a ma/paternal intuition. We see the results of those parents in prison systems and terror cells the world over. So no need for rationalization. Just say “my son would be a terrorist”, or “my daughter would drown in a washing machine”. It’s probably more true than the lie you tell yourself, and it will shut the inquirers up.
@@realistic_delinquentI'd argue a lot more parents THINK having a kid will improve them and realize they actually just have less energy and patience and time than before
@@realistic_delinquent "For many parents" Mhm. This isn't the great argument you might think it is. Because those parents that DON'T treat their children better than themselves are the cases where CPS have to rescue children from their own parents. If you go into parenthood with the calculation that you are somehow going to get your shit together by adding another burden to your life then chances are that you are going to put so many and so deep scars in that baby's soul that they will hate you for the next 80 years.
@@realistic_delinquent "Fitness is improved" Really??? Have you never heard of men complaining that their wives gained too much weight after getting pregnant? Have you heard of the "dad bod"? Have you never heard of moms complaining about being exhausted and sleep deprived or struggling with incontinence?
I have a lot of reasons as to why i dont want kids. But the thing that sticks with me the most was just how damn miserable i was as a child. Lots of mental health struggles while the world around me seemed to be on fire. I remember in therapy, lashing out at my mother because i couldnt fathom why anyone would want to willingly bring me into a world full of so many problems. The fleeting feeling of joy didnt compare to the misery of being alive in a world of constant conflict. A world that would rather have me dead. I no longer am as loathful and have gotten MUCH better at managing my life and health, but i would never subject another person to the mental toll of being another cog in the meat grinder The rich and elderly only want us to have kids for thier own benefit. Kids are pretty much thier insurance policy. And i refuse to give back to a population that doesnt actually give a shit about my livelihood. So Ill live for myself, thanks
My parents couldn’t afford to put me in therapy and it almost ended my life. I can’t afford therapy for myself as an adult and basically ignore my mental illness and trauma to survive, so why would I bring a child into that?
My dad expect me to have kid after years of abandoning me, they dont even pay for my school and enjoy their salary for themself. Once they got into their retire age suddenly they ask for grandchild how funny
I think you're being dramatic life can be beautiful and my children give me the will to live. Honestly, if I didn't have them I would be lonely and feel no purpose.
it really irritates me that it is called a “fertility rates” to me ‘fertility crisis’ mean that women CANNOT have kids, not that they are choosing against it.
its also true. I personally know too many women that delayed preganancy for various reasons and now they just cant. The saddest is a friend of mine that was told by the doctors that due to her genetic if she had child before 30 she would be fine but now she cant have it. In western countries its now norm females to want kids after 30-32. The lucky ones get a child or two the rest just cant find suitable male to form a family with.
In the US, half of the drop in the TFR is because girls and young women under 19 are basically having no kids now. I hope we can agree that's a good thing.
@@danielchristy527We can't continue to grow the population without negative externalities either. We can change our economies and societies so that a declining birth rate isn't such a problem, but we can't change the laws of nature to make resource depletion from population growth not a problem.
My numbers aren’t right but Women get 30 years to figure this out give or take by nature. You (society) or the Government immediately cut that down down to 20 years give or take 😂 then career or the idea of getting everything together takes probably another 10 years or so. Completely failed relationships that are not at least tied down by marriage, several more years lost. I might not have the maths right but this is a disaster.
@@Kira_Martel I understand your environmentalist position, but do you understand that the only way to change our economy so that declining birth rates aren't a problem is to abandon the social safety net? You cannot have a society that takes care of the poor, the orphaned, and the elderly without a growing society, because the safety net uses the productivity of the young. I am not making an argument about which is better, but I cannot help noting that the very people who insist on population reduction also insist on the welfare state, and the two are incompatible.
@@joemerino3243 I don't think that's true that they are incompatible. For the last 50+ years we've been reducing the top marginal tax rates for corporations, and regular citizens have been shouldering more of the burden. Since the Reagan administration, we've been dismantling the social safety net, and with Clinton and others' participation it's been a bipartisan effort. We had a smaller population and a better social safety net when the Roosevelt administration was trying to bring us out of the Great Depression, and when we were taxing corporate profits heavily. We could afford to fund social support systems if we didn't give the corporations a free ride while they take 60% and more of the profits and keep them for themselves.
@@joemerino3243 I will say though, if we did something about systemic inequality, we wouldn't have as much need for the welfare state in the first place, _and_ we wouldn't have to rely as much on unsustainable infinite growth to finance our ponzi scheme of an economy.
[11:58] "In fact, we use the term 'fertility crisis,' when it's not really a fertility crisis, it's a worker crisis; governments aren't trying to create self-actualized, happy, positive individuals, they're trying to create meat for the grinder." Thank you!!
The problem isn't that the population isn't growing, it's that the population grew too fast from the 50s-70s and now they're trying to offload that burden onto us, while we are trying to survive financially and also stop the rampant population growth from destroying the environment irreparably.
@@todo9633 the earth can support a much bigger population but it can't support corporations using up all the resources while fighting even the idea that they need to clean up their mess or use less wasteful techniques. Literally, NOT A SINGLE MIDDLE CLASS AMERICAN DEMANDED ALL OUR SHT BE MADE OVERSEAS, THAT WAS GREEDY EXECUTIVES LOOKING FOR WORKERS THEY COULD PAY PENNIES AND TREAT LIKE GARBAGE!!!
Minimum wage is still 7.25 an hour in the US and old people just can’t wrap their heads around their grandson not wanting 5 kids on a taco bell salary.
The Baby Boomers had the BEST OF EVERYTHING! Affordable housing, affordable public universities, plenty of jobs (without jumping through fiery hoops just to get a job), savings accounts with good interest rates, and not the excessive global government spending that we have today in the USA.
@@sagatuppercut2960 No, it was mostly sweaty jobs, you were cut from the rest of the world, there was no 'travelling' around , or internet and Netflix, fooling around... and stuff. The house you could 'afford' were not the ones you see on "stranger things", that was for people with good jobs and education, There were better things but you take the 'good' with the bad too, is actually the new generation supporting big Tech and bending to any new trend, the love for Apple , fast food, always partying, overpriced clothing, cheap plastic stuff from Timu and so on, that paved the road to always looking for those 'profits'.. and crushing the wages down. is EVERYONE s fault,
@@migovas1483The houses the baby boomers had are mostly the same houses we have today unless you live in a suburban development. My parent's bought their home for $35k in 2010, it is a cape cod in what some would call a bad neighborhood, most houses in the area were selling for 50k for cape cods built in the early 1950s. Now all the houses there are $120k and up, and yet minimum wage hasn't moved. These houses went from affordable to low income workers to automatically needing a professional job to afford. Most people older than 30 would trade Netflix and superficial entertainment for a good family life.
I think part of it is also women now having more information about the risks of pregnancy. Stuff that the older generation never warned us about is now easily accessible on the internet, it’s way scarier than I ever imagined growing up.
And also learning what pregnancy and childbirth does the the woman's body. Some common injuries from childbirth last for the rest of the women's life. It's sad that it's a taboo to talk about them.
@@flamingmanure People don't tell you when something is taboo. That's the point. You realize it's taboo when your OBGYN doesn't even mention things like skeletal changes, nutritional deficits (even with neonatal vitamins and a strong diet) that make your hair thin and make you age rapidly (and no, for many women, you never go back to the way you were before pregnancy), and the miriad of other complications that commonly arise. When your OBGYN doesn't even inform you, I'd say it's pretty taboo.
@@flamingmanure I was referring to the 2 permanent embarrassing ones that women don't go around advertising that they suffer from. While I am fortunate not to have either of these conditions, I've known women that do suffer from them and I have an extreme amount of empathy for them. They are caused by having to push for too long, which permanently stretches the soft body tissues and pelvic muscles, that hold everything in place, therefore your bladder or your uterus can be permanently affected. How many women have openly spoken to you about leaking from their bladder a bit every time they sneeze or cough too hard? or that they suffer from a prolapsed uterus?
I think another big contributor outside of finances is the public having the ability to share media to practically anyone. Before then not everyone got to see the ugly sides of parenting and only saw romanticized ideas of caring for kids on TV/movies or just thought “it’s just what you do in life.” Now, we can see millions of videos of kids being as draining as they can be, and parents giving their take on the difficulties parenting comes with. It’s not for everyone and now we can have a better idea of what it can look like!
I don't owe my government children. I don't want them so I won't have them. It doesn't matter why I don't want to, I just don't so random strangers should stop shaming me for my life choices
When we as livestock refuse to continue reproducing to satisfy their appetites they are going to take away every illusion that we were human to them to begin with. Welcome to the farm & we're chickens to our farmers.
they aren't shaming you for life choices, they are responding to the evolutionary need to get you to stop fucking up. they would care less if you REALLY stuck to your morals and removed yourself as well.
Starving society of offspring will increase the incentive to develop and distribute healthy life extension technologies, because a lower death rate will mean population stability even with a very low birthrate, and because people could be healthy and productive for centuries, far less health-related expenditures.
@@christopheraaron2412 The commoners will never get that. They just will force more of us into existence such as cloning the most productive workers. Also more crackdowns on human rights for being unhappy with being livestock like P2025 entails Stateside.
I think one thing that isn't discussed is the emotional aspect of having kids. I had one child and became deeply depressed and incredibly overwhelmed. All of those other factors (cost, job loss, etc.) also played into this issue, ultimately causing me to decide not to have any more. If a person is struggling with their mental health, they are not likely to be able to take on the responsibility of children.
I already have enough mental problems and can see it's partly traced from a parent, thus it's genetic. Let alone all the other negative traits it's just asking for pain.
Yep, we live in times where many people struggle with their own life. I'm not writing about material aspect but things like social anxiety, depression, addictions, traumas, etc. If someone asks, you just cut the discussion with an easy answer "I'm focusing on my career" or "costs of living are too high" but deep down people feel that If you don't know how to handle your own life, how can you manage to raise a kid?
The social contract has broken down. People who just want to have a regular life, do an honest day's work for an honest day's pay, are being screwed over by the system. They are increasingly feeling disenfranchised, and aren't willing to play the game anymore. The easiest way to disengage, is to cut your ties with the socioeconomic system that is screwing you over. What was once called the middle-class dream; married with kids, job security, home ownership, and eventual retirement, have all conspired to become a financial nightmare. Even with both parents working, it has become an increasingly unachievable dream. So why would anybody in their right mind do it? They are no longer willing to, and simply choose to opt out... lying flat, as the Chinese call it.
People always say it but trade jobs with strong unions that require less than a year of training to get into are as robust as ever and offer great opportunities. too many people live in the city and think the only job available to them is a desk job.
I am living my life for me. I am post grad educated but never had a 'job' and never will. I earn a subsistence income mowing lawns. It's enough. The idea of selling my soul and losing all that precious time just for stupid paper that is becoming more worthless by the day does not sit right with me and never has. The best things in life are FREE and the most meaningful thing in life is relationships with people and the natural world. That's it. Working flat out will never bring fulfilment, only misery and regret.
@@easyguyitsajoke It's true - there is a massive shortage of competent heat-pump and passivehouse technicians for example (at least in the UK, and I think in many places), and decarbonisation means that we need a _lot_ that work doing. People can make a good living, doing useful work. I'm not sure how many people realise they'd be better off being plumbers than influencers. We've never promoted 'the trades' as much as office jobs (and celebrity) in the UK. It something German and Poland seem to have done a much better job of.
I was born in 1973 in the UK and I am just old enough to have benefitted from (relatively) affordable housing, grant-supported University education and a reasonable flow of jobs. I could afford to have 3 kids due to work and some government support when I was not as well paid as I am now. My dad worked but for much of his working life we didn't have much to spend but he had a steady job that allowed us to survive But for younger generations, it's proving a grind. The working world is a con and, as you say, the social contract is broken. That's why there are so many angry people in the western 'developed' world. Alienated and disenfranchised. Corporations and the rich have all the pie and it's crumbs for the rest. We fight each other for crumbs when it's upwards everyone should be looking - not downwards or sideways. Corporations and the rich are the root of many of today's problems
Not just that, but seeing the people who actually are parents in this day and age is harrowing. Most of them are exhausted beyond belief and just can't stop because they have to keep their children's expenses paid. Having another human being depend on you so completely is a huge responsibility, which a lot of people can't afford financially, psychologically and sometimes, even physically. The saying "it takes a village to raise a child" isn't famous for no reason and in modern times, when everyone is grinding their own bones to dust at work, there is no village left for the children
I have a newborn. I am 100% sure I am not making another one. We are ok financially even though we are both immigrants… we both work from home (without that I wouldn’t ever consider getting pregnant). That being said - we have no help, childcare would cost 80% of my net income, I have only 3 months maternity leave (legal minimum in Switzerland), we are about to lose one income (doesn’t matter if I continue to work and pay for childcare or if I stop working). We are exhausted, I do my best to save money for a house in some cheaper country… Because obviously we won’t ever afford any house in Switzerland (2mln€ at least). I don’t care about career - it’s pointless simply because no employment (maybe except being a doctor or a lawyer) can afford a normal living. We are lucky that we can work from home - this will allow us to move to some poorer country to have a decent life.
@TheDolyy Right, and how good were the survival rates for those kids, and how safe were they? Were they protected from exploitive child labour? How common was it for parents to leave their babies or children for dead because they were considered a burden on very limited resources? The fact of the matter is we know better than to bring someone into the world we can't provide for. In this day and age we've the knowledge and decency to be more responsible than humans from the "way darker age(s)".
I think that’s a perspective of a certain type of person. I think people that genuinely love children see them more as the thread of continuity from their fathers into the future and part of spiritual fulfillment. Religious people are still having children it’s the people that don’t see life as anything but something to do that avoid kids. The Christians are still fruitful and multiplying.
The environmental crisis is another big factor. Who wants to bring a child into a world where industries are chopping down forests to squeeze every last penny?
I am a college educated American who has no children. My “good “ job that I spend 5 days a week at from 8:30 -5pm, pays my rent,utilities, etc. I have ONLY been able to save a TINY amount of money due to my parents giving me extra money for food each month. For me, cost of living is the main reason why I’ll never have kids, but here is the other reason: I spend the majority of my day, and almost the entirety of my week at work. I have 48 hours on the weekend that are mine to do whatever I want. But I usually don’t. Because I can’t. I need to go grocery shopping, I need to run errands, I need to do all of the stuff for myself that NEEDS to be done on Saturday and Sunday because the job that doesn’t actually pay me enough to be comfortable, owns my existence during the week. I have friends, I have family, I have hobbies that I love that get the barest minimum from me. If stop and think of the amount of time I have for myself to pursue my hobbies and loved ones on the weekend, I have about 7-8 hours I could give. In what reality does that provide me with the money, time, and resources to birth and raise a human being???! No reality. And that’s the reality.
have you consider connecting to neighbours or roomates to share the load? bare necessities take up to much time, sharing chores (such as grocery shopping) and getting together with loved ones to do them (like hanging out while meal-prepping for the week) has been huge for my mental/social health; but yeah, not enough time for kids :(
@@marcelroy6034 Right? I don't understand what is she complaining about. Unless commuting takes a lot of time 8:30 to 17:00 leaves you all the free time you need to run errands and stuff.
@@gf4913idk wtf you mean about plenty of time. Usually you get home around 6 pm. have to cook, clean, feed pets, sometimes do grocery shopping, laundry, work out, shower, and the day is over without any time for your hobbies or loved ones.
I knew by the time I was 6 that I didn’t want to be here and that I didn’t want to bring anyone else here to suffer in this world …that was 50 years ago and not once have I regretted it !
Amen, Sister! I knew by the time I graduated high school that I didn’t want children (for at least two dozen different reasons). At age 30 (when I first got married) I had a tubal ligation, and, now, at 74 years old, I have never, not once regretted my decision.
I'm at an age where I should be rushing to have children, as my ideal time is nearing its end. I hate to sadden my family. I do want children, very much. But I cannot bear the fact that I'd be bringing a new life into a world, in which I am barely surviving myself. And there are already so many children and people that are currently alive, that I could be helping and sharing my life with. I do not owe a debt to a hypothetical child that has not yet been conceived. But I do feel an obligation to better the lives of those who currently share this world with me.
Since people don't build their own paradieses for their families anymore and families cease to exist in more and more places - the society becomes what keeps you from having kids in the first place.
As a childfree American, I was always on the fence about kids until my early 30s. I’ve been watching my friends with children struggle financially, and as someone who grew up poor & always felt a little sad because my parents were barely keeping their heads above water, and that was just with one kid…I didn’t want that life. I remember my mom juggling utility bills, and occasionally, our electricity would get turned off for a day or two until she scraped together funds. And this was in the 80s & 90s! Plus my own mental health issues played a role. My mom struggles with that as well, and it really wasn’t something I wanted to subject my own child to. L
It's literally this simple and the elites don't seem to be able to figure it out. When a middle class couple can barely keep the lights on because their rent is $3,000/mo, it's not really surprising that people don't want to start a family. When a three bedroom home is $750,000 and the property taxes are $10,000/yr, it's not really surprising that people don't want to start a family. We have created a culture that can't afford to perpetuate itself.
@coocolal3644 This is the kind of incoherent take that doesn't even deserve a response. You need to spend some time away from politics if you seriously saying this shit.
@@jambott5520he's right. By incorporating women into the workforce gov / private capital can milk two incomes consistently, instead of one (when on maternity leave). Thus prices for real estate and commodities target dual income society models, only there are either kids or income, rarely both.
I think the main causes of this issue is: the rise of mental health issues (who wants to have kids when you wanna kys?? etc) quality of life: why would I want kids that would end up giving me post partum depression, destroy my body and take all of my free time? Compassion fatigue is definitely prevalent. I always hear parents say they regret having kids because of the fact they can’t do anything anymore. Money: in order to ensure your kid has a good childhood you NEED money. If you make less than 100k a year it is a real struggle, hell even with 100k a year it still is.
I work with kids with disabilities and it has been a factor in not wanting children. Having a child with a disability terrifies me, not because they’re disabled but because there is so little to support them. I am disabled as well and can’t spend 30 years taking care of a child who will never be independent for me to catch my breath. Putting them in a home is often read as cruel but I need my own life and at a certain point my care standards would start to fail them as I lost steam. Children are not toys or cannon fodder. I want to live my life for myself at the end of the day, not feed the machine of suffering. I actually got sterilized because I so desperately want to avoid children of my own. I deserve to be more than a breeder for corporate monsters. I don’t find joy in the idea of raising children and doing so just to have someone to take care of me when I’m old sounds far more selfish to me than any of the other options.
I work with special needs students and they pay you Pennies Why is a career in human services so underpaid? I have one child, he’s fourteen. I also had a tubal, because I realized how difficult it is to raise children when you’re struggling financially, Also, the village does not exist anymore.
haha such a pessimistic outlook on life. "machine of suffering" and "corporate monsters". You should be happy that there are people out there who are having kids so that you can maintain your standard of living and hopefully a pension later in life. The only way our standard of living has any chance of remaining where it is, is if AI and robotics development is able fill in the work needed because of declining birth rates.
@@bardoomguy”you should be happy…”, leave them alone. They’re allowed to feel however they want. You’re pessimistic, just let people feel how they want to feel about things
Im 29 years old and the future looks very grim to me unless some major fundamental societal changes occur. Like others say, i dont want to bring innocent children into a dying world with no place for them. I dont think i will ever be able to retire, without even having kids. Its too hard to keep going already.
@@anandanuggets1339 WHAT? Capitalism is in it's final stages where the rich just keep sucking the 99% dry, homes are unaffordable, fast food is expensive, the general cost of living is fucking *through the roof,* so NO. It's NOT "way brighter now". With all our technology, it has the POTENTIAL to be! But right now? No. People are struggling in ways that haven't been seen in decades.
What also is important factor to consider is that we no longer live in a collective society- the saying that you need a village to raise a kid didn't come fro thin air. In a society where the economics is so unbalanced that you need both parents to work to sustain their family, some individuals are unfit to balance both career and having family. There are lots of single parents with no support system to help like family, friends or neighbours, that don't really have means to hire somebody or send their kid to a nursery (not all countries have free education before elementary).
It should be understood that for most of history most families both parents did work. The work may have been uneven, but most women still had jobs. The post-WW2 era was a very unique era, especially in the US. There has never been such a concentration of wealth into a single country like there was in that era.
Needing both parents to work is pretty normal, the only time that wasn't the case was during the economic boom in the US. The children were usually taken care of by Grandparents, older siblings, and other relatives living with the Family.
@@evancombs5159 yes that's why I'm talking about even pre war times, not early capitalism. The culture of rasing children, having a closely knitted neighbourhoods and really firm support system was something that occurred daily and was normal thing. Nowaydays ppl are afraid and don't know who lives next door- and don't really wanna know.
@@evancombs5159 true. However, I do think there’s a difference in the type of job. Nowadays many of us are working a job that is all mental. In fact, that’s usually the kind of job both parents need in order to afford a family. There’s no space to process anything personal.
We're united finally!! Even if it out of lack of choices available! But we're united that we are choosing ourselves and our sanity over "societal expectations" and that's kinda relief that the collective consciousness is moving to a better place..mother earth and her non human earthlings need healing and we are finally able to give them the space they deserve by not producing ❤
There are several reasons I don't have kids. First and foremost is that I had to raise most of my siblings. Our parents worked all day but still managed to produce nine kids. As the oldest it was on me very early to pick up the slack, and I don't want to do that again. Growing up, adults seemed to me to be dumb animals who didn't plan, winged it when things got tough and bragged about not getting anyone killed. "We didn't starve. Success!" I hear it often said today that people don't want to grow up; they want to stay children themselves. To which I say; What else is new? In my experience, adults were extremely immature and lacking in self-restraint in the past too. They drank to excess, had unprotected sex, cheated on their partners, bought big cars and ignored their responsibilities. They caused a mess and left others to clean it up. History has whitewashed them, but I remember. I won't be the next link in this chain.
I never looked at it like this, but your perspective makes so much sense to me. The older generation loves to be like, "We did XYZ and you turned out fine." There's no self-reflection like "Dang, it's messed up that that was normal. Sorry we did that." The big difference between the immature adults of our parents' generation and our own is you could be dumb and lazy and still afford to live and raise a family. Our generation has to be smarter and work harder, so you have to want that life. I personally do want that, and my 3-month-old daughter who's laying next to me right now is the result. I wouldn't trade this for anything. But if I'd have more kids is an open question (not least of all because my husband, while a good father, was very unsupportive when I was pregnant and I don't want to go through that again), and I feel as though my life would have been just as happy and meaningful filled with extended family and friends rather than my own children.
Economists slept thru science classes. High stress environment tends to drop the animal population numbers, the number 1 reason why animals can't be bred in captivity. Human population today are the same as those animals under stress, only the cause of stress are different.
@@EeeEee-bm5gxtry saying that about wild animals, there are a bunch of conservation programs struggling because they have a hard time increasing population numbers exactly because animals won't reproduce.
I feel like with the internet women are also becoming more aware of how hard pregnancy can be on their bodies and how life changing it is on them, whereas before barely anyone would tell anything about it!
Hahaha. Fear mongering about the pregnancy. If your body is in bad condition DO NOT GET PREGNANT. But otherwise if you are healthy you'll hardly feel it. -EDIT (you will definitely feel the labor and morning sickness of course) but you are putting your child at risk and yourself if you put off having kids until you are like 40 If you wait until 35 to have a kid you definitely will have a hard time
@@taylor3950 I'm currently pregnant with my first I am 22 years old. Everyone told me I would be sick all the time and it feels horrible. No symptoms completely fine 😄 I only plan on having one child due to the economy I do agree with people that it is too expensive for children but I won't let that stop me from passing down my genetics to at least one individual In addition, my husband is older than me. The older sperm gets the more likely my child is to have birth defects so it's a trade off in a way. One child is enough to make me happy, children aren't pokemon I don't need to collect them all! Haha
@@taylor3950 My sister had her first child around 19. She had a 4 hour labour. My mother had her first child at 27. She had 68 hours of labour. I was the second which was 48 hours and had complications. She was 28 and did not eat healthy or exercise. The third and last child is at 36. No complications. No birth defects but I know if my mom could go back in time she would only have one child. I think one or two children are okay but at three it's like you can't individually split the time and see what is going on with your children past the surface level. My parents should have just stuck with one child.
Oh I should add that my younger sibling is the dumbest of all of us. I'm not sure if the age of parents affects the child's intelligence but why would you want to have your first born old sperm and egg? 36 female and 40 male for a third child is not bad but for a first child? Why even have a kid at that point!!
As an Australian woman who is childless by choice, the big driver for me was quite existential. I dislike the economic push for endless growth and the global government/corporate prioritisation of short-term profiteering over the greater good for humanity at large (eg long-term environmental and climate management, tackling growing wealth inequality and oligopolies). What is often described as “end-stage capitalism” has turned me too pessimistic to want to inflict more humans on our burdened planet, or inflict this planets current projected (grim) future on children.
It's a money issue. Look up the video, "CEO who gave all his employees minimum $70,000 paycheck thriving six years later". They had a baby boom within the company because everyone was being paid well.
The real data don’t support your anecdotal example. Monetary incentives result in very modest, transient impacts in fertility. They are also very expensive.
@@Yeahyeah116 Or does it? All the incentives mentioned are short term or one-time payments. What does a well paying job offer that they don't? Security. People are insecure. That's the unifying factor. They don't trust the future.
@@sbvera13it also makes you work harder and be more loyal to that company because of stability and work life balance you get. Its a similar rhetoric as to why older people will tell you to stay loyal to a company, though that doesnt really work for the most part these days. When your company actively supports and incentives your lifestyle you dont want it to fail
I had a tiny childhood. My father was dying of a terminal illness, and my Mother was looking after my father. He passed away when I was eleven. Sadly I then found myself in a situation where I was tortured by my step-father for the remainder of my "childhood" years. You expect me to parent? I was never taught how, sorry. I never observed it in practice. Now my Mother asks me where the grandchildren are. Sorry, unborn children... I love you too much to force you into this cruel evil world.
It is interesting how childhood experiences help set your mind on kids. I was made to be a parent as a child, so I felt like I already had kids and didn’t want to do it again. Sorry for your awful experience and stolen childhood.
@@SuperILoveWater Thank you for your compassion towards a stranger today. I make the daily choice to alleviate suffering wherever I see it because I suffered so much. That's all we can do. Try to positively effect our tiny circle of family and friends. Peace!
@@mayrahemmerechts5867 It's taken a long time to forgive, but you have to understand my Dad had just died (sadly very poorly beforehand for eight years) and she was vulnerable too. Abusers are insidious. It began subtly. We're free now. If I ever did have children, I would never, ever allow a step-parent anywhere near them. Google Cinderella Effect and you'll see the scientific proof of why step parents are dangerous.
Children don't choose to be born, we make that decision on their behalf. I wouldn't want to give someone the responsibility of life while I don't feel confident I can offer them a good one.
I think that's the crux of it. People have more children when they're optimistic about the future. I think a number of factors have shaped people's thinking to make them less optimistic about the future. Whether their perceptions are accurate or not is another matter. (Some I agree with, some I don't).
"I wouldn't want to give someone the responsibility of life while I don't feel confident I can offer them a good one." Holy shit. Say it louder for the people in the back. This is the perfect sentence to encapsulate this problem
@@Lucy_Blockcat lol wtf? what problem, the problem of existing? you have all lost the plot to existence. you still sit here though. cowards. have a child and be something for once.
Yea literally the exact reason for me as well. When I look at a lot of my former peers… I really wouldn‘t want to live with the guilt of being their parents either
I’m sorry but this is insane… You are alive right now. There are plenty of people living in much worse conditions than you could offer a child that are very happy to be alive, even if they are missing basic necessities occasionally. Living is a choice you make every day. To think that you shouldn’t have kids because “they don’t choose to live” is absurd.
I didn’t grow up in a house with two parent. I never saw my mother. She was always working and we were still poor. I was always fighting the urge to hate her for having kids she couldn’t afford. Why would I want to continue the cycle.
"Normal" Jobs need to pay living wages, Janitors, Dishwashers, Servers, trash collectors etc have a right to buy a house and raise a family. The fact that this is not hard for these people to do, but straight up impossible. The fact that to even have the opportunity to start a family you need a top tier carreer, is what I believe is whats discouraging people from having kids.
Policies to fight global warming are draining the west's resource capacity to expand. While global warming is real, we need to find a better way to deal with it than to make the cost of living so high that people can't afford to live meaningful lives.
impoverishing yourself to have children only gives a leg up to companies who will prey on your financial vulnerability. Minimalism until financial freedom.
I don’t want to bring a kid into this world when opportunities are so limited. A majority of people can’t even move out and live by themselves anymore right after high school. Plus, not having a kid will save you lots of money for you to go out and see the world for yourself. Having a kid will hold you back financially and will keep you locked in a cage for the corporate world
Right after high school? I graduated college in May and all of my friends are also moving back in with their parents. Even with college degrees, they can’t afford to live alone
@@ElijahWatts-ji9yx they’re not wrong though. Your only value as a person in society is how much labor you can sell to someone else. Unless you were born rich or got extremely lucky and landed in a good spot, that is.
I’m a 17 year old girl, and I’ve never wanted to have children or have had the instinctual feeling other women describe to me about having children. I hate a lot of things about children, especially babies since they just seem like a waste of my time and gross. I also wouldn’t want to bring a child into a world like this, and more humans means more pollution to me. In a way I feel like certain people aree selfish for having children when they obviously can’t care for them (money, mental health etc) unless they can’t do anything about it obviously. To me, I want my life to be about myself, and I don’t even want to get married or be in relationships. I want to study and become a scientist, I don’t want my job and life to be ripped away by some kid. I don’t understand how people can throw away a great life with their partner to replace it with taking care of their kids every second, it sounds like torture. My money will be my money, and I’ll get to do what I want and not have to live in debt because of a child. My brother used to feel the same, but then he decided to have kids because of his wife and he is a great father now. He asked me the other day to think about what I’ll do when I’m old without kids, but that just seems so stupid to me because how can u expect ur kids to take care of you when your old? They have their own lives to live, and shouldn’t owe parents back anything.
There are so many factors that are leading to this, but I find that the shortest explanation of it is that our societies are set up in such a way that having children or raising a family is incredibly difficult. This comes from a combination of financial security, career expectations, housing security, etc.
Also you have 0 time for your kids or even yourself. Even without kids, people that work just hate their life and are stressed out. Having kids added t othis must be so draining and you are having them in a system that will turn them into degenerates.
For me, as a woman in the US, I had to take care of my parents all my life. No seriously, all my life, from about when I was 5 years old till just last year when I turned 34, I had to taker care of them because they were alchoholics and then dad became mentally disabled after a botched heart surgery. I've been cooking meals, driving my father to daycare and changing his diaper for almost 10 years before he passed away last year. I've never had my own peace without someone screaming my name. So why would I seek out a guy, who's gonna require me to wait on him hand and foot, and pop out a baby that my husband probably won't help with? Also, in the US, many women are too scared to have kids. The abortion ban has left many women dying with dead fetuses inside them. The hospitals are BIG on accusing minority parents of neglect and selling their infants to wealthy adopters. We are scared to send our kids to school over the rising g*n V!olence and no one can afford kids. If I'm barely surviving on my 50 hour paycheck, why would I have a baby only for us both to live in poverty?
Welp as US citizen u don't need to worry about kids: USA will have enough ppl to run the country and keep economy alive thx to immigration. Government knows it, this is why they are letting everyone inside. No point wasting resources for 18 years when u can get a new ready worker for free via immigration. This is real problem only for xenophobic Asia where they don't let in any immigrants. I have no idea what their plan is tbh.
Jesus! What a painful story! 😢 You were victim of the irresponsibility of others and actually very altruistic. I understand your choices perfectly. At least you have the rest of your life to have time for yourself. Take care and I wish you the best!
I told my parents I didnt want my kids to go thru what I went thru… their response was that they had it so much harder. Even if that is true then why would you bring kids to experience the same!!?? It is just selfish
They probably didnt have it harder. Your parents lived in a much, much better economy, and unless theyre part of some oppressed minority group that would have been more ostracised back then, their environment would have been easier to succeed in. The government of their generation basically made loads of short term decisions to benefit the people at the time they were made, but now we see all the effects those short term decisions had
@ that wasnt the case and even if it was, I know I wont be able to provide a life to my kids where I can guarantee they wont have to live thru the hell were living in where people profit out of your health and the government can be bribed by the rich to make them richer.
I’m 24. I wanted kids, but after living on my own and taking care of my younger brother; I learned that I don’t want kids. It’s very expensive, stressful, and a lot of freedom is gone. I can’t afford all of the medical bills. I make 84k a year, and I know that I can’t afford kids.
The mindset is the problem. We all want to fell young forever. That is why men cheat now more than ever or don’t even get married. Everyone has a fear to settle.
If I can tell you if you have kids your income will double and your life satisfaction will reach to another level. Even you get poor you will feel ok? The unaffordable mindset is somehow wrong. Like how much sqft is enough.
If you have children, you will see that sometimes he jumps and down with genuine happiness when he sees you return from work. No other person will do that for you. Not your parents, your wife, your friends, not anyone. You'll be even surprised to know that you deserve such love. If you can afford to feed and shelter children, have them. If you are worried about education, there is always homeschool. Don't worry too much.
To me, I realized early on in my teens that raising children was insane for the mind, time, emotions and lastly money. I'm in the autism spectrum and I have issues handling surprises, others's emotions, and I need a reasonable amount of free time and alone time, in the quiet. I knew this by the time I was 12/13 and even more in my late teens, and I'm 35. I also wanted to have control of my time, money and wanted to enjoy life now, and not only when I'm retired.
Ditto, though in my case it’s a combination of fear of being neglectful towards any kids I have and feeling that I just wouldn’t be a good father/husband.
@@yoshilord724 That sounds a lot like me... but life showed me the irony of my doubts. My divorced sister lives abroad, single mother of 1 daughter (100% husband's and his family's fault, long story) so my mother and I need to periodically live with them to help out. I thought the way they were raising the kid had many faults and tried to call them out on it but I was continuously ignored. I would have pressed further had i know what it would lead to, but i had little knowledge (basically only going by logic) and therefore no confidence on the mater. For a years i watched the kid develop very concerning behaviors but was too afraid to do anything more than point them out, thinking i would make it worse, something enforced by me being reminded that i am the youngest in the family apart from my niece, hinting that my opinion wasnt valid. They had a lot of psychologists analyze her, mentioning almost everything i had been pointing out, ultimately reaching a point where they said she needs an adult male figure in her life who is patient and reasonable. Strict and casual. Characteristics that fit my description exactly and my family knows it, because they are asking me to fill that role in the kid's life. I would have gotten some satisfaction out of that if it didnt pain me to hear i was right and i could have prevented the state the kid is in now. So if you are scared of not being good enough for others, it just means you care and are a responsible person, which are ironically the best traits a parent can have.
@@demonsanta6922 thanks man. I’m glad to hear that. Maybe one day this decision of mine will change and I’ll have a kid or two, but who knows. We’ll see. Hope things are better on your end!
actually, the non-productive poor are the chief money sieve in the economy. At least lazy, rich people's capital gets put to use by their investment managers.
@@chbrulesemploy people yet pay them very little for how much work they do, profiting handsomely while their employees are stuck working their lives away to make a fraction of what their employers have. yes, it is a horrible concept.
@@chbruleswhat about 100 people investing the same billion into businesses instead of one person? In other words in what was does concentrating the money into fewer hands, each with limited time, economically beneficial?
I hope my daughters never have kids - pregnancy care in emergencies (their life protected), child care (if you can even find it), housing impossible, about to see healthcare ripped away, and on and on
I would love to have a family. The problem is that kids are a near guarantee of a lifetime of struggle and poverty unless you're a very high earner (i.e., tech, finance, a skilled trade, etc). Everything that's needed to start and maintain a family (housing, food, clothing, everything!) has absolutely exploded in price. I will not have any children if I don't know if I'll be able to feed them. Full stop.
You're not taking into consideration that if you're a woman in tech and get pregnant, your information is already old when you've had the child and are returning to work. If your child is sick often, the workplace is going to let you go. It's very common to be on duty call even after the day is over. Also tech is one of those careers that you're either FULLY in or you're not going to get anywhere. It's not a half-ass job.
Good for you. It is tough work raising a child. I don't think my one slept for the first five years. Always awake, a problem to get 'dry,' speech delay until he was virtually an adult, and then anxiety problems ever since. All I've ever done since he was born is worry myself silly about him. You just can't guarantee that they will turn out okay and go on to have a normal life. Some will never have that, and autism is on the increase, along with diabetes and childhood cancer. And now we have climate change escalating at a wild rate. Children born now will not have the sort of life I had. Even this year, estimates are for a 40% reduction in harvests in China. There is a significant reduction expected in other parts of the world too. With the insect apocalypse already affecting us orchard growers, as well as those vegetable growers who rely on pollination, our food systems are being hit extremely hard this year.
Yea, and when you get old and have no family who cares about you or is in your life, how will that wealth you accumulated benefit you? Your ancestors live a LOT harder and poorer lives. They still had kids. Nobody is denying things are hard, but giving up doesn't help anything. Ditch the materialistic view of reality.
As a 26-year-old getting married to a 28-year-old I can answer this question personally: It's because our mental health is not stable enough to bring a new being into this world safely and comfortably knowing that they will succeed in society without being completely messed up in the head. But it is also a lack of certainty for the future. I don't want to bring my kid into a world that will end up becoming Mad Max
I wouldn't mind as much having a kid grow up to be Mad Max, but statistically the kid is going to grow up to be one of the skeletons Max would be walking over, or one of the miserable, starving people he would walk by.
@@arenorg8247I think ppl SHOULD care what the future is gonna be for their kids, sure you don’t KNOW the future, but ppl can make predictions, and it doesn’t rlly look good at this moment in time with all these global problems.
The world will not be Mad Max if I don't want it. How the world is now only depends on what life beings wanted to do. Some made a leaf where they wanted. Some ate that leaf when they wanted. The leaf is pooped where someone wanted. Do what you want, the world depends on it.
There was never certainty. We life in the safest times and people fear the future, if people had thought the same way the last hundreds or thousands of year we would not exist and the world got better because of new generations. You never know what the future will bring, maybe it will be extremly good even if you don't think it will. I think life is worth it, so i think it is worth for the next generation too. Most people regret it at a certain age to have no children, but at this age it will be to late.
Three most commonly desired things are Money, Family and Free Time. Nowadays most people can't have all three of those things and you have to pick just two. Money and free time - No family. Money and Family - No Free time. Family and free time - No money. For a lot of people, the advantages of money and free time with the disadvantage of no family is more appealing than having the advantage of family but the disadvantage of either no time or no money.
Nowadays, you get one of the three. You have money? You have no free time or family. You have a family, you have no free time or money. You have free time? You have no money or family.
for me, family doesnt just have to mean having a spouse and a kid. i have family - my friends. and to have them, i dont need to sacrifice free time or money. the nuclear family being a thing is not a natural thing for humans - weve lived in big communities for millenia before. families are way more than just 2 parents and 2.5 children.
I ruined my mother's life when I was born. (I asked her once if she regretted having me and I received a solid 30 seconds of silence before she hesitantly and unconvincingly said "no?"). She lost every opportunity she had to improve or make something of her life. That shit sticks with you. I've got a _lot_ of mental/emotional/social issues behind why I'm not having kids, but seeing the effect it had on my mother is a BIG one.
You were a baby and you ruined nothing. The support your mom didn't have and the opportunities she may have missed out on are not on you. I was raised by a single mother myself and understand where you come from. Yet the regret she may feel about those opportunities not taken is likely a hundred times set off by the fact that you are in the world.
I was an unwed, teen mom. I had a lot of opportunities before I got pregnant. My life is a lot harder and financially unstable now. I can certainly empathize with your mother. I hope you know that YOU are not to blame and that you are a blessing! I can only speak from my own perspective, but I imagine that your mother mourns the life she could've had but wouldn't do it any different. Life might be harder, but our children make it more beautiful and fulfilled. To get the opportunity to love our children is the greatest opportunity of all and worth all the sacrifice and hardship! ❤ You were worth it!
I've been discussing it with my partner, doing research, and reading all the articles I can find. We are finally in stable housing, finally with a steady income with commutes to work that are finally reasonable. We have talked it over from every angle and I am really excited to say that we are going to do it... we are going to get a dog
@@stevencooper4422At some point people as a whole will realize that endless growth is unsustainable... Or finally stops when the wealthy elites achieve Godhood: omniscience (an ever-increasing surveillance state) combined with omnipotence (the power to act on that infinite knowledge)... The only thing they're missing is benevolence. And they'll sooner lead us into hellfire than exercise it.
Because life will continually get worse for the people that are already here if we all age and there aren’t enough people to take over our jobs and take care of us, so the issues are linked
I can't believe people are this puzzled by why this is happening. Its painfully obvious. Individual reasons aside like cost and convenience, the real reason is the Internet. Thats an almost worldwide change thats impacted the lives and decision making of people in every developed country. People are not closed off from the rest of the world any more. We are all learning about other ways to live and think. We are also all hearing about the wide spread negative impact of over population. Of course less people will choose to have kids when we have all the evidence right in our face thats its not as joyous and glorious as our grandparents told us it was. We can literally talk to a mom in another country telling us raising kids is hell, on top of the fact that few people can afford it. This is just a logical next step for humanity. If it's not mostly that, than its mother nature making a correction so the parasite that is humanity will not destroy our planetary home.
Me and my girlfriend have a 1 year old, we both have university degrees, I'm an engineer so I earn well above the median income in the UK (around 170% of median) , she works in marketing and earns around the median, and yet we still couldn't afford to buy a family house (2.5 / 3 bed house) within 30 miles of where we work without MASSIVE amounts of money (£120k total) from our respective families, which was itself only possible because I have a fairly wealthy step dad, and she has a lot of uncles who don't have kids of their own. Without that money, we'd probably only just now be able to buy our own place, at the ripe old age of 32 and, at that, it would have been a small single bed house or apartment. There's no way we would have had a baby if we were in that position. Even with all that help and decent salaries, we've already decided we can't afford a second baby. In a supposedly first world country, this state of affairs is absolutely insane. My heart goes out to anyone that doesn't have rich boomer family willing to help them.
I'm questioning your spending habits with both your high paying jobs. Do you both budget? I'm going to assume you do not, nor do you pay attention to your spending and look at your accounts often.
Exactly, you touch on the main point. It's not about not WANTING kids, it's about being such a good prospective parent that you choose not to FOR THE KIDS.
Please get married tomorrow at the govt courthouse for the sake of your child & please repay all your relatives their money back because it's the right thing to do :-)
Who would want to raise kids to live in a climate changed world? Bad enough the current political/war situation. Now women can see the risks of child birth and have the means to prevent it, the results are entirely reasonable. The planet will sail on whether there are humans on it or not.
According to the Guardian, the best thing you can do to reduce your carbon footprint is have "one fewer child". It's orders of magnitude better than everything else. By that, the best thing I can do is have zero children. I'm not bringing another human into the hellscape that is this planet's near future
FR! They drilled it into our heads about how the world is massively overpopulated and how its going to die or run out of resources within our lifetime and then are surprised when we no longer want kids. Even if it was economically viable, we no longer know if it's even ethical at this point.
Thank you for covering some interesting topics. My husband and I decided to not have kids and we live in the UK. Here are some of our reasons : . We couldn’t buy our first home until our 30’s. . We survive , but if we had kids, we’d be struggling to feed them with the cost of living. . We do not have extended family to help with childcare . What’s the point of having children to leave them to be raised by strangers , at an extortionate cost. . How long until our children could get homes/lives of their own - they may need our support forever with current economics - that’s not a life for them to look forward to. Stuck with mum and dad, unable to afford their own life. . I earn the most -we can’t survive on my husband’s wage even without kids . We cannot take an income hit which was demonstrated in this video . Also women suffer the most chronic conditions and there’s not much research . I’m in my early 30’s but suffer from chronic IBS , hypothyroidism and hip issues. I don’t have the energy to get out of bed some days, let alone work and raise children . Maybe they should also look into curing and researching some of these conditions and listening to women’s health concerns before putting on the pressure to push a human out of an already broken and dysfunctional body . So many women I’ve spoken to have awful birth/pregnancy experiences and care.
I have yet to see someone else mention women’s healthcare as a possible reason, and I think you’re spot on. The rise of women with autoimmune issues and the complete lack of options for women with reproductive\hormonal care options is why I am likely to choose to not have children. I recently was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition, and nobody took me seriously for the longest time because it was a condition, up until recently, they didn’t think women could have. I cannot imagine how many women suffered in the past and continue to due to unequal care and research towards women’s health.
very important point regarding healthcare, physical and mental. It is so recent that i've been finally hearing people speak openly about the enormous toll pregnancy takes on a person's health, and I know multiple women who have decided not to have children based on their health. It's a responsible and reasonable choice.
Another woman (29) with an under-researched autoimmune disease here, and I have several health issues in general that are genetic. I wouldn't want to pass it onto my kids and my health issues would also be exacerbated by pregnancy. That, the cost of living, a lack of freedom, and that this world just seems to be going more and more downhill are the main reasons I don't want kids.
The last statement hit so hard. I'm gay so I will never have kids anyways, but if I were straight I think you just summed up exactly why I would never ever want to have kids.
also, about the physical aspect of having a child: before it was a taboo to be open about the hardships of pregnancy so much so that they would describe it as bringing a child to light, give life to a baby and never something graphic like a basketball sized human being going through your very small hole potentially tearing you apart, today, because of the internet, women are capable of realizing how hard it is to actually give birth and all the bad things that can come with it, inducing fear of having babies, before they didnt have this fear for not having enough information about it, gatekeeping basically
Yes. The idea that women should bear the unbearable by default, I detest it. It's great we are living in a world where this information doesn't deter most, though the pushback one may get, displays the underappreciation that comes of it. I get chills thinking about being torn apart from the inside, my organs making way for a fleshball too hug for a tiny opening, my spine being stretched on a breaking point, my hips forced apart. I have endo and my cramping sessions paralyze me for hours on end -- my imagination runs wild on how worse bearing a child will be.
I wanted to pitch in: that birth is difficult, yes. It is challenging, but I have done it 4 times unmedicated, and it actually ISNT as bad as the media would have you believe. I think fear of childbirth makes it way worse. If you prepare for it, most times it is manageable.
@@racheln4309 childbirth is a personal experience and for every woman it will be different. Im glad all your birthing experiences were positive and it wasnt too bad for you, but not all moms can say the same. I have some experiences in my life as well, when my mom had me she had to get 74 stitches, and when she had my sister, she couldnt walk for 3months after because of her tears. My grandmother too, had my dad premature, and her milk storage (dont know the right term) was short so she couldnt breastfeed him. Well, my point is, as much as there are amazing and positive stories of childbirth, it is not the same for all, and those negative ones is what affect young women the most
@@patotive4704 absolutely that is right, but the other truth is that a lot of complications can be avoided/prevented with preparation. Some practices that hospitals used to think were good, we now know caused a lot of problems and complications and are no longer practiced. Most women are considered "low risk", and most women can breastfeed. The way birth is portrayed makes it seem like it is almost always dangerous and that most women are broken in some way, when in reality, most women are normal. That doesnt mean it isnt hard to learn or accomplish. I think these negative perceptions are actually causing MORE complications and difficulties because women and doctors are learning to expect them. Sometimes the complications come on the roads taken to avoid them.
The issue at hand is that we created a society where all systems are built around perpetual growth, which by definition is not sustainable. We assume stock markets, real estate, will forever keep increasing in value. We assume we can all have masters degrees where we direct an underclass of blue collar workers. We assume there will always be a cohort of young people to wait the tables, deliver our stuff, pay for our retirement, take the blame for the problems we have in society. This thing had to end at some point and it just did. The longer we keep going the course the worse our problems will be. Society is still being run by boomers and they don't really care, it worked for them , we need reform.
In school we were taught that the Roman empire depended on the constant expansion of land and once there was no more land to acquire the empire started to crumble. When I realized that capitalism also depended on infinite growth I saw it was a scam bc you can't have infinite growth on a finite world but I guess mba programs remove the logic center of the brain (and replace it with a demon soul)
Another big issue is the risks having children brings for women. In a capitalistic society you’re either forced to be financially dependent on men, creating opportunity for abuse. On the other hand, if you DO work, society is still expecting you to do most of the domestic and childcare labour. Which means you will have and paid job AND also have a job at home. Mothers are burnt out and don’t want to sacrifice their bodies, minds and souls just to take care of everyone around them.
Thanks for watching! This is edited from a stream I did last Friday.
The streams give us a chance to go into a bit more detail compared to the video, and cover a couple more angles that I cut out from the video. Plus I can hear directly from you guys!
I stream Fridays @ 7.15 EST so feel free to come along :)
Is it fair to see that late stage HIGH economic countries = higher stress = low fertility rate
5:49 it is not about underpopulation but it is about median age of a resident. We all know what happens to the country where all people are old.
Yea, nobody needs kids anymore.
Robots will be taking care of us in our old age.
And best of all, robots won't be secretly hoping for us to "pass on" so they can sell the family house and empty the bank account as quickly as possible.
It's not that we don't want kids, it's that we can not afford to have kids, neither financially nor mentally and physically - or have partners for that matter - and also lead a somewhat ''normal'' life. (By ''normal'' I mean it as in ''not having to live paycheck to paycheck - or worse.'') Nobody with even half a brain cell in their head, wants to spend 9-14 or more hours a day on work (including getting ready and travel time) just so they can barely afford to pay bills, food, fuel for the car, all the necessities for yourself and the home and meals on the job. I have a so called ''above average pay'' for my countries standards and a so called ''average pay'' for EU standards... And yet, after I go shopping for food and necessities for the month, fill up my car, pay the bills, split 20 work days worth of cash for my work break meals, I am left with only €200-€250 for spending - and keep in mind, that's without buying ANYTHING ELSE, meaning no fruits, no sweets or snacks, no clothes, no new phones, no bank loans to pay off, no car loans to pay off, in short, no spending money on ANYTHING ELSE and I mean ANYHTING ELSE, only the aforementioned - basically living like a hobo with a job, if I want to save up the entire sum of €250+/- that is left of my paycheck. AND I BARELY HAVE FREE TIME TO LIVE MY LIFE on top of barely having any money to save up.
And that's not even the worst part, the worst part is that I've gotten 2 promotions so far and my monthly pay has been raised 4 times (€200 per) ever since I got this job (4 years ago) and yet, I am left with less money at the end of each month, than I did 4 years ago when my pay was only €220 above minimum wage... Not even 4 years ago, I had approx. €400-€450 left for spending, which is DOUBLE the amount I am left with at the end of the month now, with an €800 higher pay... And then they want us to have kids - or even partners?! I CAN BARELY AFFORD TO SUPPORT MYSELF, HOW WILL I SUPPORT MY WIFE, LET ALONE KIDS!?!?
And then when you try to do ANYTHING to earn money so you can live what you would consider a normal life, you can't because the whole system is set up so that whatever you try to do, it's either illegal to do or you have to pay the government crazy amount of money and/or taxes to do so, (e.g starting a business) making it impossible to even start doing that unless you already have money... The controlled, artificial inflations, the controlled system... It's just control, control, control everywhere... They just want total control over us and over our lives and what we can and can't do... I am getting waves of crippling depression just writing this comment...
You should watch Kaiser Bauch. He is basically the authority on youtube on the fertility crisis.
“Governments aren’t trying to create self actualized, happy, positive individuals. They’re trying to create meat for the grinder.” Damn.
I think if you go back another level, they don't want meat for the grinder. This is the desired outcome. The future is Sarco Pods once things get lopsided enough.
This is not true, though. Western civilizations educate their populations, which is measurable. 15% of the world population thinks analytically while the rest think holistically. By any measure, that would mean that an educated population makes self-actualizing decisions.
The difference is in local governments. Also measurable when you compare a red educated population to a blue educated population, a phenomenon so wild, it was studied because our red state education still produces holistic thinkers instead of analytical thinkers.
I can't find the link to the research paper, but look up the term WEIRD (Western, educated, industrialized, rich, developed). It's the acronym that was used to explain what it takes to be an analytical thinker.
Our undereducated population can be manipulated to vote against themselves and with the right gerrymandering, the educated population gets nothing.
@@BreakingGaia Close, but in reality, they can be manipulated into thinking their vote actually matters when it absolutely does not. Voting against themselves is irrelevant, since every option is that.
@@BlazingOwnager It absolutely does matter. It matters at your local level the most, the elections the rich systematically swindle the public to not care about. Who runs your schools and community should be the most important vote you make because that's where your voice matters most. When we build strong communities focused on demanding their share of the pie, we build a collective society that puts the well-being of the community above profits and rich people's comforts. It's time for us to force the rich to pay heavily to stay comfortable by transferring their wealth to our own communities. Invest in US, not them.
i guess everyone forgot how that guy did the mice experiment to test malthus' ideas and after the mice reached a peak population, they all stopped breeding and then died
"The comfort of the rich depends upon an abundant supply of the poor."
- Voltaire
Damn… that hits so hard
I'm a dumbass I thought you were talking about the musical artist 😭
@@louise4152 musical fartist
I see the parallel as well between men and women. The comfort of the men depends on an abundant supply of women. Women take on more domestic, childcare duties, and career sacrifices, to allow men to focus on making money for his own bank account. Most women do not get financially compensated for the work they do around the house and children because their husbands do not split income with them. If men were to stay home and be the homemaker, they would certainly demand some sorts of compensation so they aren't working for their wives for free while their wives climb career and stuff bank account with money.
Men's comfort depends on the sacrifices of women. As more and more women refuse to marry, date, hook up, or have kids, men would suffer. As more and more women decides not to have kids, men's supply of future young women they hope to replace their aging wives with dwindle. This is why we see men angry at childfree single women but never women angry at childfree single men. Women simply benefit men more than women with men.
@@hteacave And it has only been the last 50 years that women can even have their own bank accounts. The only reason the system seemed to work was because women were dependent on men. Of course, for many women this was a life of intolerable abuse with no way to escape.
Society asking why im not having kids is like my boss asking me why im so poor.
lmfao
The Creator asking me why I exist.
This is hilarious. Perfect metaphor.
EXACTLY!
excellent summation
My dad worked 40h, my mom 20h a week. They were able to build a house, raise 3 kids, take us on 2-3 vacations around the world per year and afford two cars.
I work 40h, my girlfriend works 48h. Both of us are top 10% salaried employees. We cannot afford a house. Not even close.
True but back when I was a kid in the 1970's I remember parents still had kids with less money today we all want to live rich. Kids slept in the same bed until they were 10. Homes were modest didn't spend so much money as we do today. Don't buy 3500 sq new home with a pool, and 3 car garage.
Idk man...I hope in future we won't be having to work 56 hours per week just to get ourselves enough money for food...😐
Depends where you're looking, and how high your standards are. There's a nice 3-bedroom for sale right next to me, in a decent neighborhood, for $150K. I'm guessing your looking in the $350K-600K range, and going "We cannot afford a house. Not even close."
I think the fact that the houses that our parents lived in are now quite a bit more expensive than they were then ..
The house my parents owned was a 3k sq foot house. They bought it for 85,000. My house... MUCH MUCh smaller. Half the sq footage is closer to 130k... And I move out away from the city for cheaper pricing.
Our salaries didn't keep up with this either. So this right here is likely why people aren't affording houses... I'm lucky I can afford the one I have. It's just barely that I'm able to.
@@marcmarc1967 a mortgage on a $400k house with 20% down is only like $2700/month (including insurance and property taxes).
My wife and I are in our later 20s and make a combined $250k.
$2700/month is pretty affordable imo. The original commenter says they’re in the top 10% so if a home is “unaffordable” to them, they must have absurd expectations and expect a $1M home.
You said it perfectly. There is no fertility crisis. Only a worker crisis. They want to fix it by trying to make people have kids instead of increasing wages, putting a price ceiling on necessities and groceries, or any other solution
Having kids.. Or importing the third world. And they are slowly noticing thst doesn't work well and has too many downsides.
Yup, when all the wealth and ability to do anything is at the top. Why would you wanna struggle or bring more kids into that struggle.
How can anyone have kids if you can't aford a place to live or food to eat.
You put it perfectly! Children cannot thrive in these conditions unless they’re from the privileged class
@@sgnibble1 The thing is, even most of the privileged people I know do not have and do not want to have kids. So I agree with the vid final thoughts, people see how bad the system we live in is and simply do not want to bring new people into it. And it's a sum of all elements: housing crisis in most places around the world, wages not following the increase of basic necessities like food, uncertainty of many industries due to the shift to "green" energy and production, lack of support for young families in most places around the world, and in the end? Unfair compensation for work, and it's tru for almost all positions and most industries across the globe. Unless you're a CEO or a high ranked manager in some corporation, then the world is a great place to be right now!
I'm tired of working to make somebody else rich and I don't want my children to be condemned to the same fate
Me Too feeling the same. I also do not want to have kids
This is the fate of most people in capitalism. We just waste our lives making the capitalist rich while we get barely anything in return for our own work. If we lived in a meritocracy it would be the workers earning the wealth, but in capitalism it’s the owners who do no work but own the company who get the profit.
Start your own business if that's how you feel. Lots of people do.
@@Ayylmaogoodsir whats the alternative?
@@lelnewc But still we have to pay draconian taxes in USA it's a bad time.
I wouldn't want to bring kids into a situation I don't even want to be in myself.
Same!
Exactly! I say this to anyone that asks me why I’m not having kids and they look at me weird like there is something wrong with me💀
Quite literally! My bloodline ends with me.
Exactly.
If I was in a country with healthcare or cheap organic vegetables/fruits/ grass fed beef... it would be a different story.
We don't even pay teachers enough. So many people have had bad experiences with horrible teachers.
If the setting is bad, then why would people want to have kids?
The only way to know that your family won't suddenly be in medical debt, always have access to a good butcher where you know the meat is healthy for kids, and be able to afford the best private schools... is if you are well off.
And I mean VERY well off. A 100k job is not enough for medical expenses to be paid out of pocket when insurance companies will find loopholes not to pay for things.
I can't even get my insurance to pay for dental cleaning more than once a year even though my dentist says I need it.
Why would I bring a child into this world???
Most importantly, if a complication were to happen to me during a pregnancy... it might be illegal for a doctor to save my life.
Abortion is a reassuring safety net. We know we will live to try again with a healthy pregnancy that would not be placing our lives in danger.
Republicans have taken that away, too.
No one who is smart and middle class is taking chances with a pregnancy.
@@zenwilds2911 you are right healthcare and abortion laws in this country are so backwards
Animals in captivity often breed less due to stress, limited space, disrupted social structures, and unnatural environments. Poor diet or health issues can also impact fertility.
Why is this not the top comment?
Yes you're right, but what about the Rat utopia experiment which resulted in population decline to 0
Born a peasant, went to college, got a 4-year degree, worked 3 jobs simultaneously for years, still a peasant, realized I’m a forever-poor corporate slave, life is too hard, I love my unborn child too much to bring them into this world where they too will be a peasant corporate slave. Life is awful when you’re poor, enslaved and exploited, gee I wonder why no one wants to bring children into this mess.
Its so messed up... I did not even graduate HS yet I am managing a bunch of gen z with student debt.
Dude, how do you think the rich got rich? It's always a generational thing, and if you don't breed, your lineage ends with a "peasant corporate slave".
Change my mind.
@@slavic_commonwealth he doesn't have to, he can but doesn't have to follow anyone's path. I'm pretty sure you're likely to end up like him
It's the lack of stable employment after college. Insecure and unaffordable housing, frequent layoffs, too few living wage jobs, hours too long, benefits nonexistant, unaffordable healthcare. Not exactly a recipe to produce kids. What the f did they expect? We told them the job situation was shite and they didn't care. Now they see the consequence and are crying about it.
I've spent my life since a kid reading sci-fi in the 1990's thinking about how to better the planet and the working class. Cooperative systems are necessary. But so is belief in something greater than humanity. Money has been turned into a false god. I am a secular person but I think people need sacred things & places. Not all of nature should be "untouched" in fact some of the best habitat for wild animals is on permaculture farms. Politically, America needs a new paradigm. One that respects our best traditions while naming & atoning for mistakes of the past. The new ACP looks promising. The technology for universal abundance for both humanity and wildlife exists. Our wildest dreams are just beyond the next hill, but it will take work to get there.
As a Taiwanese woman who doesn’t have kids, I would like to tell you it’s mainly because the working environment here is simply bad.
Children are forced to enter a very competitive education system as early as possible, and I don’t want anybody to experience the same struggle as I did.
Just like Korea, China, Japan or every damn country in asia. We asians are cooked.
I noticed the same about Korea. But how to explain to a government that the entire society is just wrong and the individuals are therefore not inclined to procreate?
@@fb7876I feel US isnt far off from that same situation. People are having kids if they can bc its something people like to do, but many my age are not figuring it out so easy.
Reminder, women fought long and hard to slave away for a cold boss and to be an extra tax cow for the government. I am a woman too btw ( sad state of times where I have to reveal my gender)...
Thailand is even worse. Kids young as 2 are sent to learn 2 or 3 languages. Then once they reach around 7 years of age, they stay in school from 7am to 6pm everyday till they finish university. Aside of that they still get loads of homework and go to private turos schools on weekends. They simply dont have time for themselves, to be kids, to play.. But even with all those hours spent sdudying, one would thought that they will be so good and knowleageble. But in fact Thailand is amongst one of the lowest in kids knowledge.
its the weirdest country for kids..even cruel imho.
"The wolves are complaining that the sheep aren't breeding."
Then they will force us to breed. It’s happening now.
Love how they call themselves “wolves”
That gave me a chill.
Wow you got that past the censor? That's way too much truth!
This is just perfect 😂
USA here - My former coworker and his wife left the hospital 1 day after their baby's birth with $18,000 in medical debt, but atleast they have a home to raise their child in and they can invest in their home or use the equity to cover their debt. My husband ans I rent and we can't afford $18,000 dollars - and that's with both of us working, so we don't even have the time for a child - what kind of childhood could we even provide without our own home, without time, without financial stability and security? We'll likely be infertile before we achieve any stability, security or finally have our own home. We're busy trying to survive, so understandably it's not our task to repopulate the world.
Definitely, it's so thoughtful of you to think that as you can't provide for the children you shouldn't bring one.
And for sure understand you . Moreover don't worry about the re -population 8 billion almost. Earth need break from people.
Pro-tip: Move to a much cheaper smaller town.
@@jimj2683with no jobs? That’s usually the problem with places like that. Plus terrible health care facilities? Bad trade off
@@jimj2683that’s how people get stuck in states with few jobs or low wages
@lenzi1345Nah period leave is ridiculous, stop infantilizing women
I heard another commenter on a different video describe it as the GenZ and Millennials who grew up aware that they were financial and lifestyle burdens on their parents are now the people who would be having kids, but after being raised by people who spent all their time working and resentful they had no free tine outside of work and family, we dont want to perpetuate the cycle
Exactly!
and many of those millenials who chose to birth children are doing not so great at raising them
Spot on!!!
Wow, I felt that
Yeah, you really cooked here I attempted to end my life when I was 11 because I thought it would cost my parents less for me not to be alive. Gen z
"They're not trying to create self-actualized individuals. They're trying to create meat for the grinder." Agreed.
Yeah, that cut deep. It's so true.
This!
Your logic is broken
I had a child and it was second worst mistake of my life. My child is profoundly disabled and has a healthy body, but cognition and mind of a toddler. I changed diapers for 11 years for him. He is also non-verbal and we have never been able to have the simplest of conversations. I would give up my life for him in a nanosecond. But, I couldn't cure him and reared him alone when my ex left us. So, having a child cost me greatest sorrow of my life. I would never do it again.
This statement was probably the most impactful statement to me. Governments want workers - so how about improvements in productivity, increased use of robotics, AI, and other tools, etc.. Have society create goods and services more efficiently, and let the humans work on improving their quality of life, life satisfaction, and optimism about the future.
i cant even afford a place to live... how could i possibly afford a child??
lol i cant even afford a new couch.
@stefaniedc1128 I know, I was eyeing those human size dog beds lol
You just do it and then figure it out obviously
nah, its even worse cuz how would a child be able to afford their own house with how the housing prices are prob gonna be like in the future💀💀
@@wam-wom4066 Who knows what's going to happen in the future. Things could get better
I am a Russian woman and I also don’t have children, but not because I don’t earn enough or I have nowhere to live, but because I simply don’t want children. I don’t want this responsibility, I don’t want to be responsible for the whole life of another living person. I haven’t lived enough for myself to devote the rest of my life to a child. I don’t want to lose my job, I don’t want to be chained to a child. I didn’t have a normal childhood, I lived through the 90s, my family lived poorly, in poverty and there was chaos in the country. And now that I have an education, earn enough and can finally live well, travel, pursue my hobbies, should I give this up for the sake of raising a child? No way!
I am making up for what I was deprived of in my childhood and youth, I have no time for children.
Staying child-free is a personal choice. And just like any life experiences motherhood is a major one in a woman's life. You may regret later as you'll miss out on a significant life experience.
@@Tuqtgref I can't believe that someone told you explicitly that they don't want children and your kneejerk rejection is THE stereotypical "bUt yOu mIgHt ReGreT iT" - I thought we were past that as a society
@@シズ-i9x Why? are you sure she won't regret? Humans tend to regret missed out life events and marriage, having kids is one of those.
@@Tuqtgref Its hard to regret something you never want. I would regret having kids.
@@MarxMuru Today's generation is self-oriented refusing to take responsibility of anyone or anything...People long for short term pleasures and live-in relationships instead of long term commitment, devotion, connections and love. Imagine if your parents had the same mentality as you,, then you wouldn't be here.
fewer people are willing to pretend it's okay to raise a struggling family.
Sometimes kids gotta go hungry, know what I mean?
Where's your patriotism!?
lol @@Dude_Diligence
Exactly, I want my kid to have a good life and if I can't provide that, despite making decent money, then I'm not giving the government another workhorse.
Exactly.
Didn't see Elon Musk or Bill Gates having issues with children.
Automation and AI will fill a gap eventually.
Poor people will understand they never had a chance in genetically race, and rich people will finally have something to replace hand and legs of working class.
Tbh, if poor, don't accept gene editing and artificial breeding, they won't have much chance with genetically rich counterparts in school or jobs...
You're not struggling if you're not buying coffee from starbucks every day
Its simple, the world is not built around having families anymore. Most jobs require you missing from home half or more of the day. How are you then going to raise a child when you can barely get to see it? And one parent staying at home isnt rly viable anymore. Its one of the reasons why kids nowdays are so underdeveloped, sure inexperienced parents, social media etc have an effect but a big part of that is the fact that people barely have time to spend with ther kids anymore. And then when you do get home and decide to spend time with your kid, you're exhausted both mentally and physically and cant give them the care they need.
pretty sure Victorian London wasn't built around having families either.
It's just that actually raising children takes a lot of money now, who also can't work. Victorian London, little Timmy at age 8 could have been working as a newspaper boy or something. 8 year old Timmy today is probably just playing and being bored studying.
I mean that was the case in the 80's and 90's though, right? Gen X is famously called the "latchkey kids" or the "latchkey generation" because their parents were away from home so much in the after school and evening times. The birth rate of those parents was fine
I think you're right that there has been a shift in parenting though. I think the attitude then was that it was okay but I don't know any young people now who see being away from your kids that long and everyday as being acceptable. Plus the cost, physical, social, financial, mental, etc. is outrageous
@@rayzerot I think the reason for that shift in attitude towards parenting is because those kids have now grown up, and they realize how affected they were by their parents absence. They don't want to do that to their kids. Not to mention so many grew up seeing their parents fight a lot and eventually divorce and then had to deal with the consequences of that situation. There are so many reasons for people not wanting kids anymore, but I do think the fact that so many have had terrible examples of parenting is one of the bigger reasons. And of course it only becomes harder to be a parent the more unstable and unsustainable an economy is, so it's only getting worse.
the fact that my parents werent around is why i believe i have a hard time seeing myself as a parent i wasnt shown how to be a parent myself and i have no one to show me how to be one and guide me when the time comes.
@@GameFuMaster but Timmy's mom didn't have any choice but to give 8 births and send children to work. Women never was so into motherhood. Poor ones sent children to work, rich ones gave them to nannys. Being a caring full-time mother is a new thing.
They are not worried about us, they are worried that their cheap work force will banish
vanish, but yes
Someday crapitalism will come crashing down for its unlimited greed.
@@Zippit367on the whole those countries are making less kids to
@@Zippit367even in develop country .childfree become trend. relax buddy world will be heal
There is always the option of immigration, Africa’s population is still growing fast 😉
Just 30 years ago a single man could earn enough to feed a family of 4 and buy a house, nowadays 2 working parents still can't afford that house together, go figure
Lol 30 years ago the same claim was made.
30 years ago was 1994
@@callyral yes i know, i lived then whats your point?
Maybe cuz the prices were already much kuch higher then? If we talking about 1 mans paycheck to feed a family of 4 then that'd be before ww2 (I'd assume atleast since the prices skyrocketed back then and never changed)@@tklasson
Where would that be? Colonial countries?
a lot of what I hear sounds similar to "i don't want to bring more people into this fucked up world"...
basically yes.
This is the exact conclusion my wife and I came to.
As long as we manage to get to the point where the population is starting to drop before climate change is so bad as to be irrepairable, that should improve. The efficiency programs in terms of things like fuel efficiency and power consumption will still exist even as the population starts to drop. And with there being fewer people, that will likely compound to put things back the way they should be in a few generations afterwards. It's really the damage between now and then that's the real problem.
World's less fucked up than ever in history.
@@CountingStars333 history rhyme.. so we are in the downward trend.
As someone who grew up poor, I made a promise to myself that I would never consider kids if I didn’t have the financial means. In today’s world, even a “good” salary won’t cut it, so it’s off the table for me.
This is exactly why I made the decision not to have children also.
Exactly that, how on earth are people supposed to afford kids when it’s difficult enough to pay for rent, food and bills and just to keep yourself afloat 🤷♀️
thats just stupid, your values are up side down
@@szymonbaranowski8184I think it is the opposite of selfishness. People don't want to expose children to the severe risks of the world situation. Who wants to expose their children to Trump and Vance?
@@szymonbaranowski8184 not really. Have a kid. You can't afford to pay for food to eat yourself. Without food, you slowly get weak with each day having to skip eating just to pay the bills. Once you collapse and you can't work. You can't pay your bill or feed anyone. Once you can't work or feed anyone or pay the bills. You are in the streets with a baby trying to survive by any means necessary.
I'm not producing the next generation of laborers for stockholders just because they want me to.
Heard! 31 and childless. U.S. Government needs to give us MORE freedoms instead of LESS , and maybe then I’ll consider bringing a beautiful soul onto this Earth. There’s plenty of children to adopt and plenty of immigrants needing work.
well they don't care, because they're not shareholders yet lol
EXACTLY👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Here is a crazy idea fam. You are probably young to have that ideology. Try this. Work your ass off. Save money. Live poor. Have children. Invest in them. Buy a house. Doesn't have to be perfect. You now have set up your child to be the fucking stockholder.
I mean thats in rich countries, and immigration already takes care of that, meanwhile the 3rd world keeps reproducing for their masters(1st world populus) so their masters jave cheaper coffee.
Women are tired of sending their sons off to war to die and watching their daughters be abused and preyed upon. From a moral standpoint alone I could not bring a child into this world knowing they would suffer just so the war machine can keep on grinding.
Backwards thinking, you're the only type of person that should have kids and replace the war machine.
Do you live in the imperium of man??
💯
The problem with giving people money to have kids is that it does nothing to make housing, food and care more affordable. People see the cost of all those things and realize they have to produce an incredibly competitive kid for it to not fall into poverty later in life. Parents don't wanna shoulder that massive risk.
No, the problem with giving people money to have kids, is that the money is often not enough or simply a one off. And if you do give people enough money to raise kids, you end up having to raise taxes, which just makes the free money not enough again, and the cycle never ends. Like the pension.
@@GameFuMaster not only that, is gives wrong people incentive to have children - alcoholics and drug addicts etc. We don't need poor families with 8+ children, neglected, no education and no prospects in life. They are less likely to create stable families themselves.
I genuinely think that at the end of the day people want their kid to have a better life than them, or at least good odds at having a similar life, and that's just not the current view of the future. It feels irresponsible bringing a child into the world right now if you actually care about their childhood now and their future later
Capitalism only values short term productivity.
Having kids lowers that. So it has negative value. Thus everything was made to ensure people don t have kids. (Housing, school, food were made inaffordable. No free time, no money, no at home partner to raise the kids)
Not even mentionning the destruction of environnement and war paths from many countries...
Right. Changing monetary supply without changing supply or demand just causes inflation.
Your last quote was perfect. "governments aren't trying to create self-actualized happy positive individuals they're trying to create meat for the grinder." This sums up SO many of the "crisis" we have.
You shouldn’t be relying on anyone else to create the life you want for yourself, especially the government. Only YOU can create a life that will make you happy.
governments are not trying to do anything its like 5 million people who are poorly organized. and what do you mean by "grinder" exactly. you mean people who farm for food? you know so others can eat? or people who make roads so we can drive places? since when has living ever been not a grinder. you know people used to have to walk 10 miles down to a river to collect dirty water people an animals shit in on a daily basis. that sounds more of a grind than 99% of jobs are today. life is easy. to say that people are justified in wanting to go extinct because there is an expectation that people work to produce things to have the right to consume things other people produce is a wild level of entitlement.
Governments are also generally run by older men, men who were raised in a world that literally doesn't exist anymore. In most cases, they're doing their level best to create an environment that they think will allow the next generation to flourish; their failure is in not realizing that, because the world has changed, they can't just run systems the same way they've been run for 200 years and expect to blithely get the same results. The old men that run government aren't agile enough to pivot in time to accomodate the needs of a rapidly changing world. They aren't evil, they're just dinosaurs.
@@JobeCourtneyThe government is what controls incredibly important standards like the tax rates, inflation rates, and interest rates. This directly affects the ability to accumulate wealth and provide for loved ones.
People expecting the government to turn them into "self-actualized happy positive individuals" is an even bigger problem. Take some responsibility for yourself.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 18 years. We can't afford to get married─ I would lose my medical insurance. We can't afford a house. We're waiting to inherit a house from his family member. I worked for about 15 years after college in a number of different jobs that spanned multiple years, never had benefits and never earned more than minimum wage. He has a literal nepo job through his dad, a huge leg up. We both want to be parents. I've wanted to be a mom for the past ten years. We even have names picked out for our future kids. A few weeks ago, my boyfriend went through our finances, looked at his taxes. He put his head in his hands and let out a huge sigh. He told me he doesn't make enough to afford kids. He doesn't know how we'll ever be able to have them. It killed a part of my soul seeing him feel so ashamed thinking that he's essentially failing as a man. With 40 years old creeping up on me, I'm starting to accept that we'll just never be parents.
This breaks my heart, but people like you who support your partners fills my heart with joy
I´m so sorry to hear that! It breaks my heart. But sometimes having a kid without being fully prepared, financially or not, can pay off too. Waiting for the perfect conditions will juist drain you out mentally and emotionally because perfect conditions just DON’T exist for the middle class and never will. Only the very rich can have that luxury. But not only them have children who turn out ok, yes? It´s like expecting for corruption and crime rates do drop to absolute zero before walking out of home and paying taxes.It’s a self defeating thought.
Adopt
@@denisserivera89that’s not the point dude. The point is that they can’t afford kids, doesn’t matter if they’re biological or adopted, they can’t afford it
What a cope-out. People used to have kids in one bedroom houses, where a family of 8 would live. Now, I'm not telling you to live like this, but to claim that you can't even have ONE child with a nepo baby, it's absolutely delusional, and shows you aren't willing to sacrifice even a smudge of your comfort. Which all things considered might be a good sign you shouldn't have one.
38 year old, childfree, CPA here: I learned something from my dad @ a young age. He used to always say "don't go to the store or anywhere without money to buy...". I didn't understand @ the time, but I do now. Money is necessary to raise kids. The US doesn't care AT ALL about childcare, it's just work, work, work. Well, im not giving life when I don't have the means. Being poor sucks, getting evicted is scary, not having money for necessities & a little leisure after working 40+ hours makes you depressed. I'm proud to not have children. Every parent I know is exhausted, living paycheck to paycheck & most of the labor fell on mothers. My peace & happiness mean more to me then doing what's expected of me. I refuse to have a child where daycare is a mortgage pmt, healthcare is expensive, education system is trash & based on standardized testing, its HOT AF outside & ppl believe climate change isnt real, & just no support. So in other words I'm not going to the store where I ain't got the money. Thanks Dad. 😊❤
& that's wonderful for you! however im growing tired of this sentiment that just bc someone else decides to be a parent (which naturally will be a lot more work than not being a parent) that their being tired means they are unhappy.
You will never understand what does birth of a child feels like. That s why you write this nonsense
@@imporish1456 As someone who constantly tired without having kids: no one said that being tired is the same as being unhappy. You can be super happy while simultaneously feeling like your eyes are slow-cooking from inside your head because you're so fucking tired. Being tired just sucks no matter how happy or unhappy you are, it's a miserable physical state to be in.
It's gonna be a lonely few years in that nursing home.
@@homelessalcoholic2716 I have worked a lot with elderly customers. Trust me, you'll be lonely at that nursing home too, no matter how many children you have. Modern society does not allow people time to take care of their elderly even if they wanted to.
Not having a child when you can barely afford to live is a responsible decision. There's nothing nuanced about it.
Exactly.
@@franciasii2435houses… 20k? No way
Money has never been a problem to having babies. I just think people over thinking it. I want kids period. I’ll make it work. It’s just excuses honestly. 😭
@@sandrarenteria2249Umm...yes it is? Besides, what if there's just no excuse? I don't want children because I don't have the mental state to take care of one (I would probably hit them out of anger just like my mother did) also here in my country money IS the problem, our politicians shit on us and on our constitution.💀
@@candelalorente9034 Do you hit everyone when they make you angry ? I think that is something you should reflect on. I was very much physically and mentally abused as a child. But my dear how old are you exactly? Before I go on. 😭
1. we don't want to be exploited
2. we don't want to add one more responsibility
3. cost of living will constantly rise
bullshit, it was a plan set out by the united nations population division in the early 1980s in nairobi. none of it is your choice
But that's pretty much always been the case in history. I think it's just that people don't feel the need to have kids like they used to. Not because of anything bad but actually because of how good we have it now.
@@ryan-ci9sl3mt3jI don't want to have kids because I wouldn't want to bring a new life into this world.
The economy will be rigged against them, the climate will be trying to kill them in self defence against our overconsumption and corporations will be competing to destroy their neurology for clicks and advertising revenue.
I would feel cruel to put a child through all that without their consent. (Being born isn't a choice the child gets)
@@ryan-ci9sl3mt3j Why should we voluntarily choose to suffer?
@@ryan-ci9sl3mt3j At that times kids were an additional worker in the fields.
"Ultimately you need two people to have a child" but you also need two people working to afford housing and other basic necessities.
Easier said, than done!
Here in Greece, if the woman also works equal hours with a man, we haven't any social service or state structure to take care for the children and provide a decent meal after school, until parents return home.
Usually, grandmothers or mothers - in-law take that role here, if they live.
But what about the vast majority?
You live abroad and maybe you have the necessary childcare infrastructure.
We in the poor European North don't have it, so women must work less hours in order to rise a child.
Conclusions don't apply the same everywhere...
@@mariabrch8760 I see not much difference between life in greece and here in Africa....and here I was always thinking Europe was much better. ha!
@@mariabrch8760 Greece is not the poor European north, it’s the poor European south.
Up north parents indeed do work fewer hours to raise children, but we can actually afford to work fewer hours. We don’t need both parents to work fulltime to sustain a family, in fact only a small percentage of Dutch workers work 40 hours a week. The average hours worked is 29.
@@caty863 It strongly depends on the country. Some African countries like Nigeria are honestly in similar shape as Bulgaria, Greece or southern Italy. Some African countries like Morocco are better than those and more comparable to Croatia. Only the Northern half of Europe is significantly better, and that’s only partially including the UK.
It's the West media that's always biased towards their country they never show bad side they always hide the news that damage their superiority image and they also never show the good side of other countries like Africans Asians @@caty863
The only reason I’m not poor is because I don’t have children. My income would drop significantly if I had to pay for childcare and reduce my hours, which means I’d lose my house. I worked too damn hard to put a stable roof over my head and I’m not prepared to throw that away to pop out children I don’t want.
All I hear is we need a younger generation so we can exploit them.
I think we need to look at ages that have the power in the world, that might change perspective, Japan is terrible example for this.
😢 censer
That would be a very one-dimensional perception, though not entirely untrue off course if you just look at the point of view of those who hold power. But a strong young generation offers so much more.
It's also the reason women are not wanting kids. When they can have their own income and not literally depend on a marriage for that, they make a calculated move to have or not have kids. The way men have been raised or the quality of men she is around to economic reasons, all of it comes to play.
1000% this. I'm only 23 and already sick off all the politicians and the state.
Aint no way i'm gonna be paying them until i cant work anymore and THEN have to still somehow make extra money to survive like what??? Even older people now already have a problem eith getting enough money, imagine how its gonna be for our generation in like 50 years time....
It's all work culture. Why would I want my kids to work a meaningless job that brings them no joy so a boss can buy another luxury vehicle? No thanks.
A better question might be why do you believe someone can't find fulfilling work in life? Sounds pretty self defeating to hold such a false belief if your goal is to be happy.
@@skachor to add on to that, why is it so hard to find a job that makes us happy. The whole, just work hard and you'll achive all your dreams, it's true like we've been led to believe. It lead to a lot of pessimism.
@@skachor exactly theres so many other jobs you could do
Not having kids because of work culture is a horrible excuse. Just say an actual reason. A life isn’t and won’t be defined about your 50 hour work week. How about you raise them to do something where they won’t be employees?
Okay, don't work and don't have money lol
I put it for other people as this- if I can’t care for myself (physically, MENTALLY, and financially) , why would I try and raise another human.
We tend to treat our kin with a care and attention we fail to offer ourselves. For many parents, it is the child that permits them to improve physically, mentally, and financially simply because the will to sacrifice is motivating.
Fitness is improved in the process of carrying, chasing, and caring for the child. Mental issues shrink into insignificance, as does the hold of the streams of alarmist propaganda and FOMO that irritate them. Financial distress born of wasteful spending and the “bailout man” strategy is remedied, whereas for men, creature comforts are sacrificed readily almost as an impulse.
Of course this is only true of people whose nature conforms with effective child rearing, and excuses such as yours tend to come from those who simply don’t have a ma/paternal intuition. We see the results of those parents in prison systems and terror cells the world over. So no need for rationalization. Just say “my son would be a terrorist”, or “my daughter would drown in a washing machine”. It’s probably more true than the lie you tell yourself, and it will shut the inquirers up.
@@realistic_delinquentI'd argue a lot more parents THINK having a kid will improve them and realize they actually just have less energy and patience and time than before
@@realistic_delinquent "For many parents"
Mhm. This isn't the great argument you might think it is. Because those parents that DON'T treat their children better than themselves are the cases where CPS have to rescue children from their own parents.
If you go into parenthood with the calculation that you are somehow going to get your shit together by adding another burden to your life then chances are that you are going to put so many and so deep scars in that baby's soul that they will hate you for the next 80 years.
@@realistic_delinquent "Fitness is improved" Really??? Have you never heard of men complaining that their wives gained too much weight after getting pregnant? Have you heard of the "dad bod"? Have you never heard of moms complaining about being exhausted and sleep deprived or struggling with incontinence?
I have a lot of reasons as to why i dont want kids.
But the thing that sticks with me the most was just how damn miserable i was as a child. Lots of mental health struggles while the world around me seemed to be on fire.
I remember in therapy, lashing out at my mother because i couldnt fathom why anyone would want to willingly bring me into a world full of so many problems. The fleeting feeling of joy didnt compare to the misery of being alive in a world of constant conflict. A world that would rather have me dead.
I no longer am as loathful and have gotten MUCH better at managing my life and health, but i would never subject another person to the mental toll of being another cog in the meat grinder
The rich and elderly only want us to have kids for thier own benefit. Kids are pretty much thier insurance policy. And i refuse to give back to a population that doesnt actually give a shit about my livelihood.
So Ill live for myself, thanks
My parents couldn’t afford to put me in therapy and it almost ended my life. I can’t afford therapy for myself as an adult and basically ignore my mental illness and trauma to survive, so why would I bring a child into that?
I love how you said this. 🖤
My dad expect me to have kid after years of abandoning me, they dont even pay for my school and enjoy their salary for themself. Once they got into their retire age suddenly they ask for grandchild how funny
That is so sad. Im thankful that my life has a purpose and a meaning. I am thankful that I can know Jesus Christ. Without Him life is empty.
I think you're being dramatic life can be beautiful and my children give me the will to live. Honestly, if I didn't have them I would be lonely and feel no purpose.
it really irritates me that it is called a “fertility rates”
to me ‘fertility crisis’ mean that women CANNOT have kids, not that they are choosing against it.
its also true. I personally know too many women that delayed preganancy for various reasons and now they just cant. The saddest is a friend of mine that was told by the doctors that due to her genetic if she had child before 30 she would be fine but now she cant have it.
In western countries its now norm females to want kids after 30-32. The lucky ones get a child or two the rest just cant find suitable male to form a family with.
plus it also feels like it shoulders the blame onto women, when its NOT womens fault. its how societal issues are impacting every single person.
90% of the women who are not having kids wanted to
@@ixirionthe main reason for delay is not having a man willing ♂️ to impregnate them
@@FreedomTalkMedia yep
In the US, half of the drop in the TFR is because girls and young women under 19 are basically having no kids now. I hope we can agree that's a good thing.
@@danielchristy527We can't continue to grow the population without negative externalities either. We can change our economies and societies so that a declining birth rate isn't such a problem, but we can't change the laws of nature to make resource depletion from population growth not a problem.
My numbers aren’t right but Women get 30 years to figure this out give or take by nature. You (society) or the Government immediately cut that down down to 20 years give or take 😂 then career or the idea of getting everything together takes probably another 10 years or so. Completely failed relationships that are not at least tied down by marriage, several more years lost. I might not have the maths right but this is a disaster.
@@Kira_Martel I understand your environmentalist position, but do you understand that the only way to change our economy so that declining birth rates aren't a problem is to abandon the social safety net? You cannot have a society that takes care of the poor, the orphaned, and the elderly without a growing society, because the safety net uses the productivity of the young. I am not making an argument about which is better, but I cannot help noting that the very people who insist on population reduction also insist on the welfare state, and the two are incompatible.
@@joemerino3243 I don't think that's true that they are incompatible. For the last 50+ years we've been reducing the top marginal tax rates for corporations, and regular citizens have been shouldering more of the burden. Since the Reagan administration, we've been dismantling the social safety net, and with Clinton and others' participation it's been a bipartisan effort. We had a smaller population and a better social safety net when the Roosevelt administration was trying to bring us out of the Great Depression, and when we were taxing corporate profits heavily.
We could afford to fund social support systems if we didn't give the corporations a free ride while they take 60% and more of the profits and keep them for themselves.
@@joemerino3243 I will say though, if we did something about systemic inequality, we wouldn't have as much need for the welfare state in the first place, _and_ we wouldn't have to rely as much on unsustainable infinite growth to finance our ponzi scheme of an economy.
[11:58] "In fact, we use the term 'fertility crisis,' when it's not really a fertility crisis, it's a worker crisis; governments aren't trying to create self-actualized, happy, positive individuals, they're trying to create meat for the grinder." Thank you!!
Yep!!!
Yes!!
Yes! Birth rates are down, and though I suspect fertility rates are also reduced, that is *not* the primary issue.
Self actualizing is your responsibility brat
thank u for discussing the unequal expectations of mothers vs fathers
The problem isn't that the population isn't growing, it's that the population grew too fast from the 50s-70s and now they're trying to offload that burden onto us, while we are trying to survive financially and also stop the rampant population growth from destroying the environment irreparably.
👏👏👏
@@todo9633 the earth can support a much bigger population but it can't support corporations using up all the resources while fighting even the idea that they need to clean up their mess or use less wasteful techniques. Literally, NOT A SINGLE MIDDLE CLASS AMERICAN DEMANDED ALL OUR SHT BE MADE OVERSEAS, THAT WAS GREEDY EXECUTIVES LOOKING FOR WORKERS THEY COULD PAY PENNIES AND TREAT LIKE GARBAGE!!!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
What did you write? That’s a crazy looking sentence, that should be a paragraph. Plus it doesn’t make sense.
Also, capitalism dashed ahead with almost no opposition, so it became a huge blood-sucking cancer over time.
Minimum wage is still 7.25 an hour in the US and old people just can’t wrap their heads around their grandson not wanting 5 kids on a taco bell salary.
Oh yeah! “Why dont you have children? We want grandkids!”
Well, your generation played a huge role in fucking everything up for my generation!
The Baby Boomers had the BEST OF EVERYTHING! Affordable housing, affordable public universities, plenty of jobs (without jumping through fiery hoops just to get a job), savings accounts with good interest rates, and not the excessive global government spending that we have today in the USA.
@@sagatuppercut2960all for me, none for thee.
@@sagatuppercut2960 No, it was mostly sweaty jobs, you were cut from the rest of the world, there was no 'travelling' around , or internet and Netflix, fooling around... and stuff. The house you could 'afford' were not the ones you see on "stranger things", that was for people with good jobs and education, There were better things but you take the 'good' with the bad too, is actually the new generation supporting big Tech and bending to any new trend, the love for Apple , fast food, always partying, overpriced clothing, cheap plastic stuff from Timu and so on, that paved the road to always looking for those 'profits'.. and crushing the wages down. is EVERYONE s fault,
@@migovas1483The houses the baby boomers had are mostly the same houses we have today unless you live in a suburban development. My parent's bought their home for $35k in 2010, it is a cape cod in what some would call a bad neighborhood, most houses in the area were selling for 50k for cape cods built in the early 1950s. Now all the houses there are $120k and up, and yet minimum wage hasn't moved. These houses went from affordable to low income workers to automatically needing a professional job to afford. Most people older than 30 would trade Netflix and superficial entertainment for a good family life.
I think part of it is also women now having more information about the risks of pregnancy. Stuff that the older generation never warned us about is now easily accessible on the internet, it’s way scarier than I ever imagined growing up.
And also learning what pregnancy and childbirth does the the woman's body.
Some common injuries from childbirth last for the rest of the women's life.
It's sad that it's a taboo to talk about them.
@@kyliepechler not taboo in the slightest, who told you it was taboo exactly?
@@flamingmanure People don't tell you when something is taboo. That's the point. You realize it's taboo when your OBGYN doesn't even mention things like skeletal changes, nutritional deficits (even with neonatal vitamins and a strong diet) that make your hair thin and make you age rapidly (and no, for many women, you never go back to the way you were before pregnancy), and the miriad of other complications that commonly arise. When your OBGYN doesn't even inform you, I'd say it's pretty taboo.
@@flamingmanure I was referring to the 2 permanent embarrassing ones that women don't go around advertising that they suffer from.
While I am fortunate not to have either of these conditions, I've known women that do suffer from them and I have an extreme amount of empathy for them.
They are caused by having to push for too long, which permanently stretches the soft body tissues and pelvic muscles, that hold everything in place, therefore your bladder or your uterus can be permanently affected.
How many women have openly spoken to you about leaking from their bladder a bit every time they sneeze or cough too hard? or that they suffer from a prolapsed uterus?
And now several U.S states are trying to make it happen regardless.
I think another big contributor outside of finances is the public having the ability to share media to practically anyone. Before then not everyone got to see the ugly sides of parenting and only saw romanticized ideas of caring for kids on TV/movies or just thought “it’s just what you do in life.” Now, we can see millions of videos of kids being as draining as they can be, and parents giving their take on the difficulties parenting comes with. It’s not for everyone and now we can have a better idea of what it can look like!
I don't owe my government children. I don't want them so I won't have them. It doesn't matter why I don't want to, I just don't so random strangers should stop shaming me for my life choices
When we as livestock refuse to continue reproducing to satisfy their appetites they are going to take away every illusion that we were human to them to begin with. Welcome to the farm & we're chickens to our farmers.
they aren't shaming you for life choices, they are responding to the evolutionary need to get you to stop fucking up. they would care less if you REALLY stuck to your morals and removed yourself as well.
Starving society of offspring will increase the incentive to develop and distribute healthy life extension technologies, because a lower death rate will mean population stability even with a very low birthrate, and because people could be healthy and productive for centuries, far less health-related expenditures.
@@christopheraaron2412 The commoners will never get that. They just will force more of us into existence such as cloning the most productive workers. Also more crackdowns on human rights for being unhappy with being livestock like P2025 entails Stateside.
UA-cam refused my comment about how the life extending technology will go to the rich rather than their workers.
I think one thing that isn't discussed is the emotional aspect of having kids. I had one child and became deeply depressed and incredibly overwhelmed. All of those other factors (cost, job loss, etc.) also played into this issue, ultimately causing me to decide not to have any more. If a person is struggling with their mental health, they are not likely to be able to take on the responsibility of children.
Exactly. I had three children, and I'm burned out.
Yeah mental health is much more destigmatize now and people know it's more important to essentially put your oxygen mask on first
I have zero kids and I'm burned out and depressed just from working and seeing 90% of my Check goes to paying bills.
I already have enough mental problems and can see it's partly traced from a parent, thus it's genetic. Let alone all the other negative traits it's just asking for pain.
Yep, we live in times where many people struggle with their own life. I'm not writing about material aspect but things like social anxiety, depression, addictions, traumas, etc. If someone asks, you just cut the discussion with an easy answer "I'm focusing on my career" or "costs of living are too high" but deep down people feel that If you don't know how to handle your own life, how can you manage to raise a kid?
The social contract has broken down. People who just want to have a regular life, do an honest day's work for an honest day's pay, are being screwed over by the system. They are increasingly feeling disenfranchised, and aren't willing to play the game anymore. The easiest way to disengage, is to cut your ties with the socioeconomic system that is screwing you over. What was once called the middle-class dream; married with kids, job security, home ownership, and eventual retirement, have all conspired to become a financial nightmare. Even with both parents working, it has become an increasingly unachievable dream.
So why would anybody in their right mind do it? They are no longer willing to, and simply choose to opt out... lying flat, as the Chinese call it.
💯
People always say it but trade jobs with strong unions that require less than a year of training to get into are as robust as ever and offer great opportunities. too many people live in the city and think the only job available to them is a desk job.
I am living my life for me. I am post grad educated but never had a 'job' and never will. I earn a subsistence income mowing lawns. It's enough. The idea of selling my soul and losing all that precious time just for stupid paper that is becoming more worthless by the day does not sit right with me and never has. The best things in life are FREE and the most meaningful thing in life is relationships with people and the natural world. That's it. Working flat out will never bring fulfilment, only misery and regret.
@@easyguyitsajoke It's true - there is a massive shortage of competent heat-pump and passivehouse technicians for example (at least in the UK, and I think in many places), and decarbonisation means that we need a _lot_ that work doing. People can make a good living, doing useful work. I'm not sure how many people realise they'd be better off being plumbers than influencers. We've never promoted 'the trades' as much as office jobs (and celebrity) in the UK. It something German and Poland seem to have done a much better job of.
I was born in 1973 in the UK and I am just old enough to have benefitted from (relatively) affordable housing, grant-supported University education and a reasonable flow of jobs. I could afford to have 3 kids due to work and some government support when I was not as well paid as I am now. My dad worked but for much of his working life we didn't have much to spend but he had a steady job that allowed us to survive
But for younger generations, it's proving a grind. The working world is a con and, as you say, the social contract is broken. That's why there are so many angry people in the western 'developed' world. Alienated and disenfranchised. Corporations and the rich have all the pie and it's crumbs for the rest. We fight each other for crumbs when it's upwards everyone should be looking - not downwards or sideways. Corporations and the rich are the root of many of today's problems
this comments section is on fire. absolute facts all around.
People can't afford food, a house, a car, medicine, how can they afford having a kid? It's insane to demand that of people.
The poorest people have the most kids. So that argument is not valid. But yes poor people should not have 8 kids.
@@galenbjorn443there should be a law that prevents u from owning or having kids
@@galenbjorn443they are poor because of that
@@galenbjorn443 It sure didnt take me any time to find the shitty elititist thags here to take a crap on "poor" people
Do you guys even watch a few seconds of the video before you comment?
Not just that, but seeing the people who actually are parents in this day and age is harrowing. Most of them are exhausted beyond belief and just can't stop because they have to keep their children's expenses paid. Having another human being depend on you so completely is a huge responsibility, which a lot of people can't afford financially, psychologically and sometimes, even physically.
The saying "it takes a village to raise a child" isn't famous for no reason and in modern times, when everyone is grinding their own bones to dust at work, there is no village left for the children
I have a newborn. I am 100% sure I am not making another one.
We are ok financially even though we are both immigrants… we both work from home (without that I wouldn’t ever consider getting pregnant). That being said - we have no help, childcare would cost 80% of my net income, I have only 3 months maternity leave (legal minimum in Switzerland), we are about to lose one income (doesn’t matter if I continue to work and pay for childcare or if I stop working).
We are exhausted, I do my best to save money for a house in some cheaper country… Because obviously we won’t ever afford any house in Switzerland (2mln€ at least).
I don’t care about career - it’s pointless simply because no employment (maybe except being a doctor or a lawyer) can afford a normal living.
We are lucky that we can work from home - this will allow us to move to some poorer country to have a decent life.
Human were making babies in way way darker age...
@@Whit0s83because they didn't have protection or as much knowledge
@TheDolyy Right, and how good were the survival rates for those kids, and how safe were they? Were they protected from exploitive child labour? How common was it for parents to leave their babies or children for dead because they were considered a burden on very limited resources?
The fact of the matter is we know better than to bring someone into the world we can't provide for. In this day and age we've the knowledge and decency to be more responsible than humans from the "way darker age(s)".
@@cupcakes7308 I think today child are pretty safe and have a very good survival rates (western countries). That's my point !
Peter Zeihan says that when we were farmers, children were free labor. Now that we live in cities, children are expensive pets.
Hahaha...
he said that about china.
i block every channel that shows PZ content. same with elon mush content.
very well put
Woof!
I think that’s a perspective of a certain type of person. I think people that genuinely love children see them more as the thread of continuity from their fathers into the future and part of spiritual fulfillment. Religious people are still having children it’s the people that don’t see life as anything but something to do that avoid kids. The Christians are still fruitful and multiplying.
The environmental crisis is another big factor. Who wants to bring a child into a world where industries are chopping down forests to squeeze every last penny?
I am a college educated American who has no children. My “good “ job that I spend 5 days a week at from 8:30 -5pm, pays my rent,utilities, etc. I have ONLY been able to save a TINY amount of money due to my parents giving me extra money for food each month. For me, cost of living is the main reason why I’ll never have kids, but here is the other reason: I spend the majority of my day, and almost the entirety of my week at work. I have 48 hours on the weekend that are mine to do whatever I want. But I usually don’t. Because I can’t. I need to go grocery shopping, I need to run errands, I need to do all of the stuff for myself that NEEDS to be done on Saturday and Sunday because the job that doesn’t actually pay me enough to be comfortable, owns my existence during the week. I have friends, I have family, I have hobbies that I love that get the barest minimum from me. If stop and think of the amount of time I have for myself to pursue my hobbies and loved ones on the weekend, I have about 7-8 hours I could give.
In what reality does that provide me with the money, time, and resources to birth and raise a human being???!
No reality. And that’s the reality.
have you consider connecting to neighbours or roomates to share the load? bare necessities take up to much time, sharing chores (such as grocery shopping) and getting together with loved ones to do them (like hanging out while meal-prepping for the week) has been huge for my mental/social health; but yeah, not enough time for kids :(
You’re describing a normal working week.
@@marcelroy6034 Right? I don't understand what is she complaining about. Unless commuting takes a lot of time 8:30 to 17:00 leaves you all the free time you need to run errands and stuff.
@@gf4913idk wtf you mean about plenty of time. Usually you get home around 6 pm. have to cook, clean, feed pets, sometimes do grocery shopping, laundry, work out, shower, and the day is over without any time for your hobbies or loved ones.
@@marcelroy6034its "normal" because thats all you knew, not because its a good thing
I knew by the time I was 6 that I didn’t want to be here and that I didn’t want to bring anyone else here to suffer in this world …that was 50 years ago and not once have I regretted it !
wise words
Did you read my diary? I'm only 23 y/o but this is exactly my situation. I got a bilateral fimbriectomy two years ago.
Amen, Sister! I knew by the time I graduated high school that I didn’t want children (for at least two dozen different reasons). At age 30 (when I first got married) I had a tubal ligation, and, now, at 74 years old, I have never, not once regretted my decision.
I never wanted kids and wasn’t interested in having a baby doll to pretend to have one either. My uncle gave me a cabbage patch doll and I hated it.
@@liviwaslost Same with me. Even as a little girl, I never liked baby dolls. I always preferred stuffed toy animals.
I will not be a wage slave to those who doomed my future and I will not condemn a child to this hell.
Preach
Yes exactly
Same.
You are a great individual ❤ keep preaching
I'm at an age where I should be rushing to have children, as my ideal time is nearing its end. I hate to sadden my family. I do want children, very much. But I cannot bear the fact that I'd be bringing a new life into a world, in which I am barely surviving myself. And there are already so many children and people that are currently alive, that I could be helping and sharing my life with. I do not owe a debt to a hypothetical child that has not yet been conceived. But I do feel an obligation to better the lives of those who currently share this world with me.
The main reason I don't want a child right now is financial stability and mental health. Also don't want to be a child into a world and society I hate
This, this, and this
😢 oh boy…
And climate change is gonna do a lot of horrible stuff within the next 50-100 yrs. Do you really want to put a child into such a world?
Since people don't build their own paradieses for their families anymore and families cease to exist in more and more places - the society becomes what keeps you from having kids in the first place.
same and you forget nowdays women not wifes either they want best and everyone know it 666+6 thing
As a childfree American, I was always on the fence about kids until my early 30s. I’ve been watching my friends with children struggle financially, and as someone who grew up poor & always felt a little sad because my parents were barely keeping their heads above water, and that was just with one kid…I didn’t want that life. I remember my mom juggling utility bills, and occasionally, our electricity would get turned off for a day or two until she scraped together funds. And this was in the 80s & 90s! Plus my own mental health issues played a role. My mom struggles with that as well, and it really wasn’t something I wanted to subject my own child to. L
Adopt me, the only problem is I am 22
The L at the end made me giggle
Adopt me too! But can I bring my dad?
you are smart
well said, it seem so irresponsible to have a kid with no or little money,
No one can afford kids, can barely afford taking care of ourselves.
It's literally this simple and the elites don't seem to be able to figure it out. When a middle class couple can barely keep the lights on because their rent is $3,000/mo, it's not really surprising that people don't want to start a family. When a three bedroom home is $750,000 and the property taxes are $10,000/yr, it's not really surprising that people don't want to start a family. We have created a culture that can't afford to perpetuate itself.
The migrants are having kids.
@coocolal3644 This is the kind of incoherent take that doesn't even deserve a response. You need to spend some time away from politics if you seriously saying this shit.
@@jambott5520he's right.
By incorporating women into the workforce gov / private capital can milk two incomes consistently, instead of one (when on maternity leave).
Thus prices for real estate and commodities target dual income society models, only there are either kids or income, rarely both.
Bullshit, I know a lot of pairs who can afford like 5 average families and they don't have kids also.
I think the main causes of this issue is:
the rise of mental health issues (who wants to have kids when you wanna kys?? etc)
quality of life: why would I want kids that would end up giving me post partum depression, destroy my body and take all of my free time? Compassion fatigue is definitely prevalent. I always hear parents say they regret having kids because of the fact they can’t do anything anymore.
Money: in order to ensure your kid has a good childhood you NEED money. If you make less than 100k a year it is a real struggle, hell even with 100k a year it still is.
I work with kids with disabilities and it has been a factor in not wanting children. Having a child with a disability terrifies me, not because they’re disabled but because there is so little to support them. I am disabled as well and can’t spend 30 years taking care of a child who will never be independent for me to catch my breath. Putting them in a home is often read as cruel but I need my own life and at a certain point my care standards would start to fail them as I lost steam.
Children are not toys or cannon fodder. I want to live my life for myself at the end of the day, not feed the machine of suffering. I actually got sterilized because I so desperately want to avoid children of my own. I deserve to be more than a breeder for corporate monsters. I don’t find joy in the idea of raising children and doing so just to have someone to take care of me when I’m old sounds far more selfish to me than any of the other options.
I work with special needs students and they pay you Pennies Why is a career in human services so underpaid? I have one child, he’s fourteen. I also had a tubal, because I realized how difficult it is to raise children when you’re struggling financially, Also, the village does not exist anymore.
@freespirit-111 sorry if too tmi but how was the tubal procedure? Any lasting side effects aside from yhe obvious?
@@darklightangles It went well. No side effects at all. Did not gain weight either.
haha such a pessimistic outlook on life. "machine of suffering" and "corporate monsters". You should be happy that there are people out there who are having kids so that you can maintain your standard of living and hopefully a pension later in life. The only way our standard of living has any chance of remaining where it is, is if AI and robotics development is able fill in the work needed because of declining birth rates.
@@bardoomguy”you should be happy…”, leave them alone. They’re allowed to feel however they want. You’re pessimistic, just let people feel how they want to feel about things
Im 29 years old and the future looks very grim to me unless some major fundamental societal changes occur. Like others say, i dont want to bring innocent children into a dying world with no place for them. I dont think i will ever be able to retire, without even having kids. Its too hard to keep going already.
I’m 20 and my dad just retired.. and had to immediately go and pick up another job
Have kids. The future is WAY brighter now than it has been for the MAJORITY of human history.
@@anandanuggets1339 WHAT? Capitalism is in it's final stages where the rich just keep sucking the 99% dry, homes are unaffordable, fast food is expensive, the general cost of living is fucking *through the roof,* so NO. It's NOT "way brighter now". With all our technology, it has the POTENTIAL to be! But right now? No. People are struggling in ways that haven't been seen in decades.
@@anandanuggets1339sorry buddy, it does not. We could have said that 1 or 2 decades ago, but nowadays, we definitely cannot say that anymore.
@@anandanuggets1339 I’m curious, what makes you say that?
What also is important factor to consider is that we no longer live in a collective society- the saying that you need a village to raise a kid didn't come fro thin air. In a society where the economics is so unbalanced that you need both parents to work to sustain their family, some individuals are unfit to balance both career and having family. There are lots of single parents with no support system to help like family, friends or neighbours, that don't really have means to hire somebody or send their kid to a nursery (not all countries have free education before elementary).
It should be understood that for most of history most families both parents did work. The work may have been uneven, but most women still had jobs. The post-WW2 era was a very unique era, especially in the US. There has never been such a concentration of wealth into a single country like there was in that era.
Needing both parents to work is pretty normal, the only time that wasn't the case was during the economic boom in the US. The children were usually taken care of by Grandparents, older siblings, and other relatives living with the Family.
@@evancombs5159 yes that's why I'm talking about even pre war times, not early capitalism. The culture of rasing children, having a closely knitted neighbourhoods and really firm support system was something that occurred daily and was normal thing. Nowaydays ppl are afraid and don't know who lives next door- and don't really wanna know.
@@evancombs5159 true. However, I do think there’s a difference in the type of job. Nowadays many of us are working a job that is all mental. In fact, that’s usually the kind of job both parents need in order to afford a family. There’s no space to process anything personal.
Facts. I would definitely need a lot of help to raise kids. I can't imagine doing it on my own 😭😭😭😭
We're united finally!! Even if it out of lack of choices available! But we're united that we are choosing ourselves and our sanity over "societal expectations" and that's kinda relief that the collective consciousness is moving to a better place..mother earth and her non human earthlings need healing and we are finally able to give them the space they deserve by not producing ❤
There are several reasons I don't have kids. First and foremost is that I had to raise most of my siblings. Our parents worked all day but still managed to produce nine kids. As the oldest it was on me very early to pick up the slack, and I don't want to do that again.
Growing up, adults seemed to me to be dumb animals who didn't plan, winged it when things got tough and bragged about not getting anyone killed. "We didn't starve. Success!"
I hear it often said today that people don't want to grow up; they want to stay children themselves. To which I say; What else is new?
In my experience, adults were extremely immature and lacking in self-restraint in the past too. They drank to excess, had unprotected sex, cheated on their partners, bought big cars and ignored their responsibilities. They caused a mess and left others to clean it up. History has whitewashed them, but I remember. I won't be the next link in this chain.
Thank you for this. I also had to raise my younger siblings and noticed that I am very childish for my age (26). Because I never got to be a child
I never looked at it like this, but your perspective makes so much sense to me. The older generation loves to be like, "We did XYZ and you turned out fine." There's no self-reflection like "Dang, it's messed up that that was normal. Sorry we did that." The big difference between the immature adults of our parents' generation and our own is you could be dumb and lazy and still afford to live and raise a family. Our generation has to be smarter and work harder, so you have to want that life. I personally do want that, and my 3-month-old daughter who's laying next to me right now is the result. I wouldn't trade this for anything. But if I'd have more kids is an open question (not least of all because my husband, while a good father, was very unsupportive when I was pregnant and I don't want to go through that again), and I feel as though my life would have been just as happy and meaningful filled with extended family and friends rather than my own children.
Well said. I'm anti-natalist.
Children should only be for responsible people. That’s how it should’ve always been.
So you’re just accepting that you shouldn’t reproduce is what you’re saying? Because you can’t over come all of those negative habits
Economists slept thru science classes. High stress environment tends to drop the animal population numbers, the number 1 reason why animals can't be bred in captivity. Human population today are the same as those animals under stress, only the cause of stress are different.
Animals can be bred in captivity. E.g. chickens, cattle, dogs
But not as good as in free
@@EeeEee-bm5gx They are domesticated. thats different.
@@EeeEee-bm5gxtry saying that about wild animals, there are a bunch of conservation programs struggling because they have a hard time increasing population numbers exactly because animals won't reproduce.
Wow. That covers it in a nutshell!
I feel like with the internet women are also becoming more aware of how hard pregnancy can be on their bodies and how life changing it is on them, whereas before barely anyone would tell anything about it!
Hahaha. Fear mongering about the pregnancy. If your body is in bad condition DO NOT GET PREGNANT. But otherwise if you are healthy you'll hardly feel it. -EDIT (you will definitely feel the labor and morning sickness of course) but you are putting your child at risk and yourself if you put off having kids until you are like 40
If you wait until 35 to have a kid you definitely will have a hard time
@@TCMMedicine how old were you when you had your first and last?
@@taylor3950 I'm currently pregnant with my first I am 22 years old. Everyone told me I would be sick all the time and it feels horrible. No symptoms completely fine 😄
I only plan on having one child due to the economy I do agree with people that it is too expensive for children but I won't let that stop me from passing down my genetics to at least one individual
In addition, my husband is older than me. The older sperm gets the more likely my child is to have birth defects so it's a trade off in a way.
One child is enough to make me happy, children aren't pokemon I don't need to collect them all! Haha
@@taylor3950 My sister had her first child around 19. She had a 4 hour labour.
My mother had her first child at 27. She had 68 hours of labour.
I was the second which was 48 hours and had complications. She was 28 and did not eat healthy or exercise.
The third and last child is at 36. No complications. No birth defects but I know if my mom could go back in time she would only have one child.
I think one or two children are okay but at three it's like you can't individually split the time and see what is going on with your children past the surface level.
My parents should have just stuck with one child.
Oh I should add that my younger sibling is the dumbest of all of us. I'm not sure if the age of parents affects the child's intelligence but why would you want to have your first born old sperm and egg? 36 female and 40 male for a third child is not bad but for a first child? Why even have a kid at that point!!
As an Australian woman who is childless by choice, the big driver for me was quite existential. I dislike the economic push for endless growth and the global government/corporate prioritisation of short-term profiteering over the greater good for humanity at large (eg long-term environmental and climate management, tackling growing wealth inequality and oligopolies). What is often described as “end-stage capitalism” has turned me too pessimistic to want to inflict more humans on our burdened planet, or inflict this planets current projected (grim) future on children.
It's a money issue. Look up the video, "CEO who gave all his employees minimum $70,000 paycheck thriving six years later". They had a baby boom within the company because everyone was being paid well.
That's awesome!
Yes, absolutely this. All of the mentioned theories have to do with this in some way or another.
The real data don’t support your anecdotal example. Monetary incentives result in very modest, transient impacts in fertility. They are also very expensive.
@@Yeahyeah116 Or does it? All the incentives mentioned are short term or one-time payments. What does a well paying job offer that they don't? Security.
People are insecure. That's the unifying factor. They don't trust the future.
@@sbvera13it also makes you work harder and be more loyal to that company because of stability and work life balance you get. Its a similar rhetoric as to why older people will tell you to stay loyal to a company, though that doesnt really work for the most part these days. When your company actively supports and incentives your lifestyle you dont want it to fail
I had a tiny childhood. My father was dying of a terminal illness, and my Mother was looking after my father. He passed away when I was eleven. Sadly I then found myself in a situation where I was tortured by my step-father for the remainder of my "childhood" years.
You expect me to parent? I was never taught how, sorry. I never observed it in practice. Now my Mother asks me where the grandchildren are. Sorry, unborn children... I love you too much to force you into this cruel evil world.
It is interesting how childhood experiences help set your mind on kids. I was made to be a parent as a child, so I felt like I already had kids and didn’t want to do it again. Sorry for your awful experience and stolen childhood.
@@SuperILoveWater Thank you for your compassion towards a stranger today. I make the daily choice to alleviate suffering wherever I see it because I suffered so much. That's all we can do. Try to positively effect our tiny circle of family and friends. Peace!
@@user-lk2qf4rt3mYou’re so welcome! ❤
Tell her if she wanted grandkids she should have thought of that before letting a monster in your life!
@@mayrahemmerechts5867 It's taken a long time to forgive, but you have to understand my Dad had just died (sadly very poorly beforehand for eight years) and she was vulnerable too. Abusers are insidious. It began subtly. We're free now. If I ever did have children, I would never, ever allow a step-parent anywhere near them. Google Cinderella Effect and you'll see the scientific proof of why step parents are dangerous.
Children don't choose to be born, we make that decision on their behalf. I wouldn't want to give someone the responsibility of life while I don't feel confident I can offer them a good one.
I think that's the crux of it. People have more children when they're optimistic about the future. I think a number of factors have shaped people's thinking to make them less optimistic about the future. Whether their perceptions are accurate or not is another matter. (Some I agree with, some I don't).
"I wouldn't want to give someone the responsibility of life while I don't feel confident I can offer them a good one."
Holy shit. Say it louder for the people in the back. This is the perfect sentence to encapsulate this problem
@@Lucy_Blockcat lol wtf? what problem, the problem of existing? you have all lost the plot to existence. you still sit here though. cowards. have a child and be something for once.
Yea literally the exact reason for me as well. When I look at a lot of my former peers… I really wouldn‘t want to live with the guilt of being their parents either
I’m sorry but this is insane… You are alive right now. There are plenty of people living in much worse conditions than you could offer a child that are very happy to be alive, even if they are missing basic necessities occasionally.
Living is a choice you make every day. To think that you shouldn’t have kids because “they don’t choose to live” is absurd.
I didn’t grow up in a house with two parent. I never saw my mother. She was always working and we were still poor. I was always fighting the urge to hate her for having kids she couldn’t afford. Why would I want to continue the cycle.
"Normal" Jobs need to pay living wages, Janitors, Dishwashers, Servers, trash collectors etc have a right to buy a house and raise a family. The fact that this is not hard for these people to do, but straight up impossible.
The fact that to even have the opportunity to start a family you need a top tier carreer, is what I believe is whats discouraging people from having kids.
Yep.
Exactly, all jobs should pay living wages. It's ridiculous that they can get away with this BS.
The very people complaining they shouldn't, were able to in their lifetime
What would be great is if there was no minimal wage. And let the people decide what they will work for.
@@vhgiv so basically slave labor
i want kids.... but i cant afford kids. And given geopolitical trends I think the financial situation of many in the west is only going to get worse.
Policies to fight global warming are draining the west's resource capacity to expand. While global warming is real, we need to find a better way to deal with it than to make the cost of living so high that people can't afford to live meaningful lives.
impoverishing yourself to have children only gives a leg up to companies who will prey on your financial vulnerability.
Minimalism until financial freedom.
also obviously human made climate crisis
@@GameFuMasterindeed
Financial freedom is the way..TBH .I hate societies that worship profit and money...but unfortunately, money talks...until the day Kingdom comes...
I don’t want to bring a kid into this world when opportunities are so limited. A majority of people can’t even move out and live by themselves anymore right after high school. Plus, not having a kid will save you lots of money for you to go out and see the world for yourself. Having a kid will hold you back financially and will keep you locked in a cage for the corporate world
Right after high school? I graduated college in May and all of my friends are also moving back in with their parents. Even with college degrees, they can’t afford to live alone
@ibrokemyownheart4953 what a sad and pathetic way of viewing having kids
@@ElijahWatts-ji9yx they’re not wrong though. Your only value as a person in society is how much labor you can sell to someone else. Unless you were born rich or got extremely lucky and landed in a good spot, that is.
@@rtmpgtnope, you’re just pessimistic and a perpetual victim like most other people who “relate” to this video.
@@rtmpgt wrong, you guys are pathetic lol. In avoiding control you're still letting them control your decision and choices you make
I’m a 17 year old girl, and I’ve never wanted to have children or have had the instinctual feeling other women describe to me about having children. I hate a lot of things about children, especially babies since they just seem like a waste of my time and gross. I also wouldn’t want to bring a child into a world like this, and more humans means more pollution to me. In a way I feel like certain people aree selfish for having children when they obviously can’t care for them (money, mental health etc) unless they can’t do anything about it obviously. To me, I want my life to be about myself, and I don’t even want to get married or be in relationships. I want to study and become a scientist, I don’t want my job and life to be ripped away by some kid. I don’t understand how people can throw away a great life with their partner to replace it with taking care of their kids every second, it sounds like torture. My money will be my money, and I’ll get to do what I want and not have to live in debt because of a child. My brother used to feel the same, but then he decided to have kids because of his wife and he is a great father now. He asked me the other day to think about what I’ll do when I’m old without kids, but that just seems so stupid to me because how can u expect ur kids to take care of you when your old? They have their own lives to live, and shouldn’t owe parents back anything.
There are so many factors that are leading to this, but I find that the shortest explanation of it is that our societies are set up in such a way that having children or raising a family is incredibly difficult. This comes from a combination of financial security, career expectations, housing security, etc.
Also you have 0 time for your kids or even yourself. Even without kids, people that work just hate their life and are stressed out. Having kids added t othis must be so draining and you are having them in a system that will turn them into degenerates.
Having children has always been a burden. Contraceptives freed us from that.
Let alone the trauma of this dehumanizing society from the beginning and right now , sick world , sick people!
@@fortyshorty2459 Agreed. Our society is profoundly broken right now.
Dude Sweden done all the materialistic things to promote children their birthrate still declines
For me, as a woman in the US, I had to take care of my parents all my life. No seriously, all my life, from about when I was 5 years old till just last year when I turned 34, I had to taker care of them because they were alchoholics and then dad became mentally disabled after a botched heart surgery. I've been cooking meals, driving my father to daycare and changing his diaper for almost 10 years before he passed away last year. I've never had my own peace without someone screaming my name.
So why would I seek out a guy, who's gonna require me to wait on him hand and foot, and pop out a baby that my husband probably won't help with?
Also, in the US, many women are too scared to have kids. The abortion ban has left many women dying with dead fetuses inside them. The hospitals are BIG on accusing minority parents of neglect and selling their infants to wealthy adopters.
We are scared to send our kids to school over the rising g*n
V!olence and no one can afford kids. If I'm barely surviving on my 50 hour paycheck, why would I have a baby only for us both to live in poverty?
I guess it's too late for you to hear this. But you dont' have to set yourself on fire to keep them warm.
Isn't 34 a little to late to have a kid anyway. Risk of mental illness goes way up after 30
Sorry you had to experience this 😢
Welp as US citizen u don't need to worry about kids: USA will have enough ppl to run the country and keep economy alive thx to immigration. Government knows it, this is why they are letting everyone inside. No point wasting resources for 18 years when u can get a new ready worker for free via immigration.
This is real problem only for xenophobic Asia where they don't let in any immigrants. I have no idea what their plan is tbh.
Jesus! What a painful story! 😢 You were victim of the irresponsibility of others and actually very altruistic. I understand your choices perfectly. At least you have the rest of your life to have time for yourself. Take care and I wish you the best!
I told my parents I didnt want my kids to go thru what I went thru… their response was that they had it so much harder. Even if that is true then why would you bring kids to experience the same!!?? It is just selfish
They probably didnt have it harder. Your parents lived in a much, much better economy, and unless theyre part of some oppressed minority group that would have been more ostracised back then, their environment would have been easier to succeed in.
The government of their generation basically made loads of short term decisions to benefit the people at the time they were made, but now we see all the effects those short term decisions had
If what they said in that case is true, then that makes YOU Selfish
@ that wasnt the case and even if it was, I know I wont be able to provide a life to my kids where I can guarantee they wont have to live thru the hell were living in where people profit out of your health and the government can be bribed by the rich to make them richer.
I’m 24. I wanted kids, but after living on my own and taking care of my younger brother; I learned that I don’t want kids. It’s very expensive, stressful, and a lot of freedom is gone. I can’t afford all of the medical bills. I make 84k a year, and I know that I can’t afford kids.
😂😂😂 bruh, you probably have a $900 car payment. STFU.
The mindset is the problem. We all want to fell young forever. That is why men cheat now more than ever or don’t even get married. Everyone has a fear to settle.
Glad you realized sooner rather than later
If I can tell you if you have kids your income will double and your life satisfaction will reach to another level. Even you get poor you will feel ok? The unaffordable mindset is somehow wrong. Like how much sqft is enough.
If you have children, you will see that sometimes he jumps and down with genuine happiness when he sees you return from work.
No other person will do that for you. Not your parents, your wife, your friends, not anyone.
You'll be even surprised to know that you deserve such love.
If you can afford to feed and shelter children, have them. If you are worried about education, there is always homeschool. Don't worry too much.
To me, I realized early on in my teens that raising children was insane for the mind, time, emotions and lastly money. I'm in the autism spectrum and I have issues handling surprises, others's emotions, and I need a reasonable amount of free time and alone time, in the quiet. I knew this by the time I was 12/13 and even more in my late teens, and I'm 35.
I also wanted to have control of my time, money and wanted to enjoy life now, and not only when I'm retired.
Same I’m also autistic
Ditto, though in my case it’s a combination of fear of being neglectful towards any kids I have and feeling that I just wouldn’t be a good father/husband.
😊 same... I hope all of us get the chance to live a healthy life, away from incessant noise
@@yoshilord724 That sounds a lot like me... but life showed me the irony of my doubts.
My divorced sister lives abroad, single mother of 1 daughter (100% husband's and his family's fault, long story) so my mother and I need to periodically live with them to help out. I thought the way they were raising the kid had many faults and tried to call them out on it but I was continuously ignored. I would have pressed further had i know what it would lead to, but i had little knowledge (basically only going by logic) and therefore no confidence on the mater. For a years i watched the kid develop very concerning behaviors but was too afraid to do anything more than point them out, thinking i would make it worse, something enforced by me being reminded that i am the youngest in the family apart from my niece, hinting that my opinion wasnt valid.
They had a lot of psychologists analyze her, mentioning almost everything i had been pointing out, ultimately reaching a point where they said she needs an adult male figure in her life who is patient and reasonable. Strict and casual. Characteristics that fit my description exactly and my family knows it, because they are asking me to fill that role in the kid's life. I would have gotten some satisfaction out of that if it didnt pain me to hear i was right and i could have prevented the state the kid is in now.
So if you are scared of not being good enough for others, it just means you care and are a responsible person, which are ironically the best traits a parent can have.
@@demonsanta6922 thanks man. I’m glad to hear that. Maybe one day this decision of mine will change and I’ll have a kid or two, but who knows. We’ll see. Hope things are better on your end!
We live in a world that punishes the working class and rewards the non productive rich.
actually, the non-productive poor are the chief money sieve in the economy. At least lazy, rich people's capital gets put to use by their investment managers.
I agree. It's sad, but you're right.
@@chbrulesEven if that would have been true, and it mostly isn't, people simply stopped believing in the classical liberal fairy-tales.
@@chbrulesemploy people yet pay them very little for how much work they do, profiting handsomely while their employees are stuck working their lives away to make a fraction of what their employers have. yes, it is a horrible concept.
@@chbruleswhat about 100 people investing the same billion into businesses instead of one person? In other words in what was does concentrating the money into fewer hands, each with limited time, economically beneficial?
I hope my daughters never have kids - pregnancy care in emergencies (their life protected), child care (if you can even find it), housing impossible, about to see healthcare ripped away, and on and on
I would love to have a family. The problem is that kids are a near guarantee of a lifetime of struggle and poverty unless you're a very high earner (i.e., tech, finance, a skilled trade, etc). Everything that's needed to start and maintain a family (housing, food, clothing, everything!) has absolutely exploded in price. I will not have any children if I don't know if I'll be able to feed them. Full stop.
Bullshit
You're not taking into consideration that if you're a woman in tech and get pregnant, your information is already old when you've had the child and are returning to work. If your child is sick often, the workplace is going to let you go. It's very common to be on duty call even after the day is over. Also tech is one of those careers that you're either FULLY in or you're not going to get anywhere. It's not a half-ass job.
@@lamppuu1now that I didn't know 😮
Good for you.
It is tough work raising a child. I don't think my one slept for the first five years. Always awake, a problem to get 'dry,' speech delay until he was virtually an adult, and then anxiety problems ever since.
All I've ever done since he was born is worry myself silly about him.
You just can't guarantee that they will turn out okay and go on to have a normal life. Some will never have that, and autism is on the increase, along with diabetes and childhood cancer.
And now we have climate change escalating at a wild rate. Children born now will not have the sort of life I had. Even this year, estimates are for a 40% reduction in harvests in China. There is a significant reduction expected in other parts of the world too.
With the insect apocalypse already affecting us orchard growers, as well as those vegetable growers who rely on pollination, our food systems are being hit extremely hard this year.
Yea, and when you get old and have no family who cares about you or is in your life, how will that wealth you accumulated benefit you? Your ancestors live a LOT harder and poorer lives. They still had kids. Nobody is denying things are hard, but giving up doesn't help anything. Ditch the materialistic view of reality.
As a 26-year-old getting married to a 28-year-old I can answer this question personally:
It's because our mental health is not stable enough to bring a new being into this world safely and comfortably knowing that they will succeed in society without being completely messed up in the head. But it is also a lack of certainty for the future. I don't want to bring my kid into a world that will end up becoming Mad Max
You shall not care about what the world is gonna be in the future, maybe your kids will have a good future? you dont know.
I wouldn't mind as much having a kid grow up to be Mad Max, but statistically the kid is going to grow up to be one of the skeletons Max would be walking over, or one of the miserable, starving people he would walk by.
@@arenorg8247I think ppl SHOULD care what the future is gonna be for their kids, sure you don’t KNOW the future, but ppl can make predictions, and it doesn’t rlly look good at this moment in time with all these global problems.
The world will not be Mad Max if I don't want it. How the world is now only depends on what life beings wanted to do. Some made a leaf where they wanted. Some ate that leaf when they wanted. The leaf is pooped where someone wanted. Do what you want, the world depends on it.
There was never certainty. We life in the safest times and people fear the future, if people had thought the same way the last hundreds or thousands of year we would not exist and the world got better because of new generations. You never know what the future will bring, maybe it will be extremly good even if you don't think it will. I think life is worth it, so i think it is worth for the next generation too. Most people regret it at a certain age to have no children, but at this age it will be to late.
Three most commonly desired things are Money, Family and Free Time.
Nowadays most people can't have all three of those things and you have to pick just two.
Money and free time - No family.
Money and Family - No Free time.
Family and free time - No money.
For a lot of people, the advantages of money and free time with the disadvantage of no family is more appealing than having the advantage of family but the disadvantage of either no time or no money.
I’ve always said if you like free time, disposable income, and sanity parenting probably isn’t for you.
Nowadays, you get one of the three. You have money? You have no free time or family. You have a family, you have no free time or money. You have free time? You have no money or family.
for me, family doesnt just have to mean having a spouse and a kid. i have family - my friends. and to have them, i dont need to sacrifice free time or money. the nuclear family being a thing is not a natural thing for humans - weve lived in big communities for millenia before. families are way more than just 2 parents and 2.5 children.
Best one is family and free time but no money
Truth
i’m for sure not going to have kids. i think it would be selfish for me to bring a child into the world that i DONT want.
I ruined my mother's life when I was born. (I asked her once if she regretted having me and I received a solid 30 seconds of silence before she hesitantly and unconvincingly said "no?"). She lost every opportunity she had to improve or make something of her life.
That shit sticks with you. I've got a _lot_ of mental/emotional/social issues behind why I'm not having kids, but seeing the effect it had on my mother is a BIG one.
Me too.
Wow, that must be hard to take in.
Don't know but just maybe your mother was immature enough to answer that question
You were a baby and you ruined nothing. The support your mom didn't have and the opportunities she may have missed out on are not on you. I was raised by a single mother myself and understand where you come from. Yet the regret she may feel about those opportunities not taken is likely a hundred times set off by the fact that you are in the world.
I was an unwed, teen mom. I had a lot of opportunities before I got pregnant. My life is a lot harder and financially unstable now. I can certainly empathize with your mother. I hope you know that YOU are not to blame and that you are a blessing! I can only speak from my own perspective, but I imagine that your mother mourns the life she could've had but wouldn't do it any different. Life might be harder, but our children make it more beautiful and fulfilled. To get the opportunity to love our children is the greatest opportunity of all and worth all the sacrifice and hardship! ❤ You were worth it!
I've been discussing it with my partner, doing research, and reading all the articles I can find. We are finally in stable housing, finally with a steady income with commutes to work that are finally reasonable. We have talked it over from every angle and I am really excited to say that we are going to do it... we are going to get a dog
Bruh 😂you got meee! 😂
HAHA this made me chuckle
😂🤣
Congratulations!
😂
I truly don’t understand why we want to over populate instead of finding ways to make life better for those already here!
Capitalism requires endless growth
@@stevencooper4422At some point people as a whole will realize that endless growth is unsustainable... Or finally stops when the wealthy elites achieve Godhood: omniscience (an ever-increasing surveillance state) combined with omnipotence (the power to act on that infinite knowledge)... The only thing they're missing is benevolence. And they'll sooner lead us into hellfire than exercise it.
@@cheeks7050 Edgy, but that's probably for the best. Humans are...invasive
Because life will continually get worse for the people that are already here if we all age and there aren’t enough people to take over our jobs and take care of us, so the issues are linked
@@revengeoftheshreks1860 I have wondered if that problem could be at least partly taken care of by robotics/ai?
I can't believe people are this puzzled by why this is happening. Its painfully obvious. Individual reasons aside like cost and convenience, the real reason is the Internet.
Thats an almost worldwide change thats impacted the lives and decision making of people in every developed country. People are not closed off from the rest of the world any more. We are all learning about other ways to live and think. We are also all hearing about the wide spread negative impact of over population.
Of course less people will choose to have kids when we have all the evidence right in our face thats its not as joyous and glorious as our grandparents told us it was. We can literally talk to a mom in another country telling us raising kids is hell, on top of the fact that few people can afford it. This is just a logical next step for humanity.
If it's not mostly that, than its mother nature making a correction so the parasite that is humanity will not destroy our planetary home.
Me and my girlfriend have a 1 year old, we both have university degrees, I'm an engineer so I earn well above the median income in the UK (around 170% of median) , she works in marketing and earns around the median, and yet we still couldn't afford to buy a family house (2.5 / 3 bed house) within 30 miles of where we work without MASSIVE amounts of money (£120k total) from our respective families, which was itself only possible because I have a fairly wealthy step dad, and she has a lot of uncles who don't have kids of their own. Without that money, we'd probably only just now be able to buy our own place, at the ripe old age of 32 and, at that, it would have been a small single bed house or apartment. There's no way we would have had a baby if we were in that position. Even with all that help and decent salaries, we've already decided we can't afford a second baby. In a supposedly first world country, this state of affairs is absolutely insane. My heart goes out to anyone that doesn't have rich boomer family willing to help them.
I'm questioning your spending habits with both your high paying jobs. Do you both budget? I'm going to assume you do not, nor do you pay attention to your spending and look at your accounts often.
Exactly, you touch on the main point. It's not about not WANTING kids, it's about being such a good prospective parent that you choose not to FOR THE KIDS.
@@Jake38nine No, he may live in a city like San Francisco, LA, Seattle, San Antonio, or if in Europe London.
Please get married tomorrow at the govt courthouse for the sake of your child & please repay all your relatives their money back because it's the right thing to do :-)
Who would want to raise kids to live in a climate changed world? Bad enough the current political/war situation. Now women can see the risks of child birth and have the means to prevent it, the results are entirely reasonable. The planet will sail on whether there are humans on it or not.
I've been hearing about overpopulation and the climate crisis for my entire life. That's a pretty big factor to this generation of young people
According to the Guardian, the best thing you can do to reduce your carbon footprint is have "one fewer child". It's orders of magnitude better than everything else.
By that, the best thing I can do is have zero children. I'm not bringing another human into the hellscape that is this planet's near future
FR! They drilled it into our heads about how the world is massively overpopulated and how its going to die or run out of resources within our lifetime and then are surprised when we no longer want kids. Even if it was economically viable, we no longer know if it's even ethical at this point.
Finally, someone said it. This seems like the most obvious answer to me. Don't be silly wrap your willy guys.
Nobody would care about overpopulation or climate change other than radical ecofacists who support zero child policy. That is simply a fact.
And also ai phasing out jobs
Thank you for covering some interesting topics.
My husband and I decided to not have kids and we live in the UK. Here are some of our reasons :
. We couldn’t buy our first home until our 30’s.
. We survive , but if we had kids, we’d be struggling to feed them with the cost of living.
. We do not have extended family to help with childcare . What’s the point of having children to leave them to be raised by strangers , at an extortionate cost.
. How long until our children could get homes/lives of their own - they may need our support forever with current economics - that’s not a life for them to look forward to. Stuck with mum and dad, unable to afford their own life.
. I earn the most -we can’t survive on my husband’s wage even without kids . We cannot take an income hit which was demonstrated in this video .
Also women suffer the most chronic conditions and there’s not much research . I’m in my early 30’s but suffer from chronic IBS , hypothyroidism and hip issues.
I don’t have the energy to get out of bed some days, let alone work and raise children .
Maybe they should also look into curing and researching some of these conditions and listening to women’s health concerns before putting on the pressure to push a human out of an already broken and dysfunctional body .
So many women I’ve spoken to have awful birth/pregnancy experiences and care.
I have yet to see someone else mention women’s healthcare as a possible reason, and I think you’re spot on. The rise of women with autoimmune issues and the complete lack of options for women with reproductive\hormonal care options is why I am likely to choose to not have children. I recently was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition, and nobody took me seriously for the longest time because it was a condition, up until recently, they didn’t think women could have. I cannot imagine how many women suffered in the past and continue to due to unequal care and research towards women’s health.
Yes -- another women with an under-researched autoimmune disease here
very important point regarding healthcare, physical and mental. It is so recent that i've been finally hearing people speak openly about the enormous toll pregnancy takes on a person's health, and I know multiple women who have decided not to have children based on their health. It's a responsible and reasonable choice.
Another woman (29) with an under-researched autoimmune disease here, and I have several health issues in general that are genetic. I wouldn't want to pass it onto my kids and my health issues would also be exacerbated by pregnancy. That, the cost of living, a lack of freedom, and that this world just seems to be going more and more downhill are the main reasons I don't want kids.
The last statement hit so hard. I'm gay so I will never have kids anyways, but if I were straight I think you just summed up exactly why I would never ever want to have kids.
also, about the physical aspect of having a child: before it was a taboo to be open about the hardships of pregnancy so much so that they would describe it as bringing a child to light, give life to a baby and never something graphic like a basketball sized human being going through your very small hole potentially tearing you apart, today, because of the internet, women are capable of realizing how hard it is to actually give birth and all the bad things that can come with it, inducing fear of having babies, before they didnt have this fear for not having enough information about it, gatekeeping basically
Yes. The idea that women should bear the unbearable by default, I detest it. It's great we are living in a world where this information doesn't deter most, though the pushback one may get, displays the underappreciation that comes of it. I get chills thinking about being torn apart from the inside, my organs making way for a fleshball too hug for a tiny opening, my spine being stretched on a breaking point, my hips forced apart. I have endo and my cramping sessions paralyze me for hours on end -- my imagination runs wild on how worse bearing a child will be.
Elective cesarean helps but pregnancy does change the body in long-lasting ways. It has to be voluntary.
I wanted to pitch in: that birth is difficult, yes. It is challenging, but I have done it 4 times unmedicated, and it actually ISNT as bad as the media would have you believe. I think fear of childbirth makes it way worse. If you prepare for it, most times it is manageable.
@@racheln4309 childbirth is a personal experience and for every woman it will be different. Im glad all your birthing experiences were positive and it wasnt too bad for you, but not all moms can say the same. I have some experiences in my life as well, when my mom had me she had to get 74 stitches, and when she had my sister, she couldnt walk for 3months after because of her tears. My grandmother too, had my dad premature, and her milk storage (dont know the right term) was short so she couldnt breastfeed him.
Well, my point is, as much as there are amazing and positive stories of childbirth, it is not the same for all, and those negative ones is what affect young women the most
@@patotive4704 absolutely that is right, but the other truth is that a lot of complications can be avoided/prevented with preparation. Some practices that hospitals used to think were good, we now know caused a lot of problems and complications and are no longer practiced. Most women are considered "low risk", and most women can breastfeed. The way birth is portrayed makes it seem like it is almost always dangerous and that most women are broken in some way, when in reality, most women are normal. That doesnt mean it isnt hard to learn or accomplish. I think these negative perceptions are actually causing MORE complications and difficulties because women and doctors are learning to expect them. Sometimes the complications come on the roads taken to avoid them.
The issue at hand is that we created a society where all systems are built around perpetual growth, which by definition is not sustainable. We assume stock markets, real estate, will forever keep increasing in value. We assume we can all have masters degrees where we direct an underclass of blue collar workers. We assume there will always be a cohort of young people to wait the tables, deliver our stuff, pay for our retirement, take the blame for the problems we have in society. This thing had to end at some point and it just did. The longer we keep going the course the worse our problems will be. Society is still being run by boomers and they don't really care, it worked for them , we need reform.
In school we were taught that the Roman empire depended on the constant expansion of land and once there was no more land to acquire the empire started to crumble. When I realized that capitalism also depended on infinite growth I saw it was a scam bc you can't have infinite growth on a finite world but I guess mba programs remove the logic center of the brain (and replace it with a demon soul)
Just look at cancer, it tries perpetual, selfish growth, and look how that turns out.
It did not work for half of us boomers.
@@stevemiller1517 Can you elaborate?
@@stevemiller1517 that's the half that our rulers don't consider deserving.
For me its just cause I want to live my life. I dont see children as part of it. Love kids and for me, being the cool auntie is perfect amount
My sister is 8 years old and she says she wants to be the cool rich aunt too lmaooo
Too bad, I'm not having kids either
Can’t be an aunt if there are no kids! But I agree. No kids for me either.
My life and my time belongs to me ❤
Another big issue is the risks having children brings for women. In a capitalistic society you’re either forced to be financially dependent on men, creating opportunity for abuse. On the other hand, if you DO work, society is still expecting you to do most of the domestic and childcare labour. Which means you will have and paid job AND also have a job at home. Mothers are burnt out and don’t want to sacrifice their bodies, minds and souls just to take care of everyone around them.