Five Things Traumatized People Do That BLOCK Their Healing
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- Опубліковано 27 лис 2022
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Mainstream approaches to healing childhood trauma have some mistakes embedded in them, IMHO. Many people who try to heal CPTSD get stuck, and in this video from my archives, I name five common mistakes people make that can block them from recovery, and keep them in a state of suffering.
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Thank you, Anna, for sharing this hard-won wisdom. It is true that not many therapists or doctors understand CPTSD and the symptoms of trauma of this kind. We need to be our own best advocates and our own healers... with the amazing help you provide.
1. Don't make CPTSD your identity
2. Don't give away your power to heal
3. Don't keep talking about the past
4. Don't use isolation to control triggers
5. Don't try to make others control your triggers
Ty for the tags. I'm def guilty of #4😬
Thank you. ❣️
Thank you - couldn't listen to this whole thing... good to have the 5 things listed. Thank you
Don’t make ptsd your identity
Thank you!
being a trauma survivor feels like being a house of cards. i'll feel okay, stable even, and then something triggers me and i'm collapsing. it's insanely difficult
Thanks for sharing, I think many people will relate to this. It is very difficult, but we understand and are sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I agree..I feel this way too! And then the shame/guilt cycle starts 😞
Yes, me too!
You know.. I _just_ went through a cycle of this.
It's like I'm feeling better than I have in years and then one little thing just drives me straight back. If things are going right, they're going *right..* but I feel like it only takes one thing to go wrong before it's three steps back
Yep, I fully relate
Talk therapy was very disturbing and disappointing to me. I saw many therapists and each time I recalled the experience I was traumatised all over again. Therapy was very counter productive for me.
For a while I was a member of a PTSD online group. These people were totally into trauma as an identity. What an eye opener. I thought EVERYBODY wants to discover who they are called to be. Nope. Some people think they are called to be drama.
I've noticed the same thing!
i saw a subreddit called cptsd, and I've seen people who were posting there for 7 years..
@@MatisCCCC While my journey to healing has involved a good 35 years, I started from a place where ptsd was rare and only for male veterans (which meant that I was hysterical, neurotic, and bi-polar). Never, ever did I allow the labels to define and block my pursuit of healing, even when I didn't know that what I was doing was healing. It makes my skin crawl, this idea that one would roll in their own doo-doo for 7 years. That's a lot of inertia to overcome.
Well, fack. I guess i better leave those groups.
😬😬😬
I've wanted to find a support community, but it's dynamics like this (over-identifying with being broken/traumatized, pathologizing everything) that prevent me from reaching out much.
I put myself out there socially in little ways here and there -- public chat rooms, podcasts, meetup app to find others with similar interests locally.
I've already completed over 4 years of individual therapy, so the last thing I need is to subject myself to a bunch of 'unhealed' people spreading dysregulation and drama everywhere. I'm sure it's helpful for some, but not for me at this stage.
I'll continue challenging my tendency to isolate by putting myself in regular, everyday social situations instead of trauma-focused groups.
I was shocked by the simplicity yet power of learning to be conscious of when I am triggered. It's changed everything. I am seeing RESULTS in my relationships with others. I was once a hopeless drama queen easily triggered and manipulated by others, now am king and SOVEREIGN of my own healing. This is the power of the "fairy" and the power of You Tube to do what distinguishes it from most "social media".
Does cutting people away who trigger you drama? Like they were a part of the trauma and still gaslights that your trauma is real.
@@rosaclick1995 no that’s not drama unless you’re going back and forth with it. Set your boundary and stick to it= no drama.
@@JohnsonKayla12 thank you x
Oh how I have become a hermit…I started as a kid keeping people at arm’s length then in my 30s just went full fledge hermit bc the fear of being triggered into flashbacks is too great…I’m gonna have to try your daily practices bc I’ve tried everything else. Love these type videos. Thank you for doing them.
Thanks for sharing. We hope the Daily Practice provides some relief, we're rooting for you! -Calista@TeamFairy
Realizing I was afraid to speak up. Tell my real feelings. Not just blowing up. Actually feeling it's ok to be heard and trust it. This was so eye opening.
I totally agree with you - constantly talking about your trauma just makes you feel worse. Thank you so much for your videos. Such a great help.
Thanks for listening! Glad they've been helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy
1 billion %.
My med file is 20 feet tall Lol
After so so many yrs of talk therapy and the “journaling” I just realized writing/ reading what I wrote/ seeing what I wrote or colored HAS NOT WORKED for me over the last 10 yrs. I am now speaking into a simple voice memo app and THEN listening to the playback has been utterly unbelievable and tho I felt self conscious, tho no one told me to do this (thus felt like I was doing one more ‘thing’ wrong), I can tell everyone who reads this I immediately felt like I was back in my body. That I was real. That I wasn’t vapor. That I am NOT crazy. That I matter. That what I have to say is real, true and matters. I am my own “friend” listening to my recording , being their without judgement and its the most empowering thing I think I have ever done. And now am doing as many audio recordings/ play as I need to get out what I need in the moment, listen, return to my body and move the eff forward. I highly recommend this - essentially for people who are journal alanon talk therapy fatigued. Praise Jesus for this tech
About a year ago my life fell apart. I was in a place where I felt the youngest most beautiful person and I remember thanking God for healing my life. Everything felt refreshed and new. Yet I had I guess a ticking time bomb was happening underneath it all. My body got overwhelmed from a book I was writing a failed relationship and I felt trapped. My system collapsed and I have been in extreme disassociation since. The disassociation has been so frightening and I am living out of my head completely. Which has brought obsessions and rumination. I am constantly saying I just want my life back. It’s too much to write and I am tired of talking about it all. The energy in my body is extreme and I have had times when I scream in terror which seems to come from nowhere. Anyway …thanks for your teaching.. I just ordered your free course.
SO relate! For me, therapy just made me a self-obsessed navel-gazer. Journaling is so great, can rant and rave,brood and obsess, but once it's on paper it's out...and I can revisit it and it helps me process and move on. Phew!!! Thankyou so much for debunking all the psychobabble around trying to heal from this crap.xxx
Yes!!! Fellow self-obsessed navel-gazer here. I love your comment.
Anna.
This video was a gut punch. I hit rock bottom this weekend and experienced several dark nights of the soul, as the poets say. I found out that my ex boyfriend, the love of my life, got married in October. He took me out for coffee to tell me. We broke up three years ago after 20 years together, so I’m not sure why it hit me so hard. But he cheated on me for several years and connected with this new woman before he ended it with me.
He and I have a long, complicated history of trauma bonding that I’ve shared on other videos, and it’s actually not important anymore. I’m no heroine, and he isn’t a villain. But I’m beyond devastated at this outcome.
To make matters worse, I then had a complete BPD meltdown that caused a huge blowout with my sister. We’re okay now, but to say I am in a bad place is an understatement.
The only hope I can conjure now is trying the daily practice, which I will do tonight when I get home from work. I have also been watching videos on radical acceptance, a key tenet of DBT. And you’re right: it’s time to stop making my traumatic past my identity.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this channel. ❤
My heart goes out to you, @designchik. You had an experience of Great Love, and you didn't get to keep it. I'm sorry. No platitudes can help. It's just plain sucks. Of course you need and deserve to be loved greatly. This is your path. It's a dignified path, and I hope you will embrace it with all that is best in you. And YES! The Daily Practice is where all the despair, all the longing, all the negativity can go! I'm so happy you are starting tonight. I'm leading one of my free calls tomorrow at 8:30 AM Pacific Time -- we use the techniques and I take questions, and we get to be together and get some relief. Would be lovely if you could come. For anyone reading this, all you have to do is register for the course, and the invitation to the call will come with the welcome e-mail: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Anna, the fact that you answered me personally means so, so much. I’m at work tomorrow when you’re running the call, but I’ll see if there is any way I can join. ❤️❤️❤️
I have made every one of these mistakes. I am still learning to not make my trauma my identity. I just recently got over not giving other people your power to heal, or giving other people power of your trauma triggers. Doing those two, and succeeding, is very depressing. I am working with new people and resources to try to get back to healing after having lost many years of progress to all these mistakes.
Thanks for sharing your experience. We're rooting for you! -Calista@TeamFairy
You are making great progress tackling those two items! Can u share what's helped u most?
You ( & fairy lady too.. can start by NOT calling it "MY" TRY "THE" TRAUMA .
Then listen to Dr. GABOR MATE !
Leading Expert in ghe field
@@AM-es4mp yup!!! Good point!! This isn't something you want to be YOURS!!
I feel like I really just need to talk it out once so that I understand what patterns I've created so that I can identify it going forward, let go of stuff and then learn to respond in more healthy ways. I've never talked to anyone. I feel like I just need to get it out once and then move on
My mother who had narcissist tendencies always said that psychology was the course people took when they weren't smart enough for real courses. She plastered that in my head so I never took any help of such seriously.
I found you accidently and now know what I missed💜
I did a lot of healing on my own by writing things out. You are spot on. I believe my faith and reading the Bible gave me wisdom to heal.
I'm still not whole but can function and understand what you say is true. Thank you.
Do you think she said that to try and block you from getting that info?? My parent pressured me away from classes like that too.
@@Deelitee I'm not sure but anything we wanted to do was not good enough in her eyes no one could do or be what she was. She crippled us. Later, I am glad to say she changed. I was finally able to have a relationship with her as I took care of her before she died. I'm thankful for that.
We can be MINDFUL in each moment of each day .
Were never ever All DONE .
Make choices & repeat ..
.
@@Deelitee that is HIGHLY LIKELY!!;I am still flipping out, 18 months into my journey, making dailye little connections to how my parents convinced me I was Bipolar and completely INSANE. I'M NOT! The tricks these creeps play know no bounds and the worst part is They don't even necessarily know what they are doing!!!! Their Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or at least high narc traits, make them truly believe what they are doing is For Your Own Good, or simply the truth. But it's NOT. These people are sick and twisted. Good luck.
@@sunnyadams5842 The reason I say I'm not sure is because my heart's desire was to help others and psychology would have been my choice in a career. Im sure I would have healed a lot faster with the right connections and support group. However this podcast confirms this. She has connected the most troubling behaviors I've continually suffered with. I'm so thankful for that. My mother was totally wrong.
Talk therapy is not always helpful because we're regurgitating the pain,
the trauma, the memories, reliving the feelings, stuck in the past time loop where nothing gets resolved. When dysregulated our mind gets temporarly jumbled, blocked, unfocused, glitched, tripped, it goes " offline" like losing Wi-Fi connection, lol. Writing releases and discharges those emotions that can paralyze us, overwhelm us, panic us, make us anxious, sad, depressed or flight/fight/freeze/fawn. We learn what supports our well-being and what doesn't. We can use a mix of methods to transform/transcend our trauma. We can calm our triggers, we can re-regulate the dysregulation without isolating ourselves and getting weird, lol. There are tools available that work for you without the need to control others or our external environment. We can learn to control our reactions when triggered by expressing and maintaining our boundaries. TY 4 sharing your experiences so that we can relate & heal too ✨💙✨ Abundant Blessings 🎆
When it started when I was 4 and I finally cut myself almost off of the abuser and flying monkeys (almost) by 60 and now 70. I had absolutely no idea who authentic me was ; I always who I needed to be, whatever was required for my safety and sanity. I consider myself lucky now and am enjoying my life more than I ever have before and looking forward to more autonomy and easier boundary building. But still easily triggered and right now #1Abuser is dying and all the flying monkeys simply cannot figure out what is different about me; not that it isn't triggering. I have a couple of allies, sort of, in the family and am working really hard to avoid becoming dis-regulated, lol, while doing what I can to study home/facility care. I'm treating it like an adventure; so far anyhow. 4 years of therapy has helped me begin to understand who my authentic self is now but it's still really scarey. Until then I am very cautious of any kind of friendships. Born into a nest of covert narcissists and became the scapegoat. So my CPTSD is out there as a warning until I can get a hold of my authentic self. Getting there
I have the "tickle thing", too, my much older brother tortured me...I once punched a guy in the mouth and split his lip because he snuck up behind me at work, and grabbed my ribs. I felt terrible, I'm not a violent person at all, but it was automatic. I actually ended up dating the guy for a couple years, lol. He NEVER tickled me again, though!
My family, my sister has been pushing at me to get autism diagnosis for ages. So I did. The more I talked about my childhood and everything that happened, the more I realized there was actually a lot of trauma, neglect and abuse going on.
Hyper focus, Hyper vigilance, mal-adaptive day dreaming, everything I had read and researched suddenly started to fall into place. The relief I felt that I finally had the answers I was actually looking for and not the one everyone was trying to force on me.
Realizing I was actually the scapegoat however has forced me to block everyone out of my life. I am much calmer, much happier and still have some residual guilt and worry about people who aren't even in my life anymore and trying to overcome the feeling that I am the bad guy whose caused all their problems and I should make up for it somehow but... I am learning to overcome this.
It`s more like no they are mad because they no longer have you to project their toxic emotions on. The narcissists and their enabling " servants", try to create the illusion that they are independent and don`t need others. When reality is that they lack the ability to " self esteem". that is they can`t esteem themselves and need us ( the scapegoats) to give them attention ( narcissistic supply) to regulate their emotions.
The narcissist and their enablers have never loved us in the past. And they are never going to love us in the future. And the people they pretendend to be " friend" " sister/brother" " mother/father" " care taker" boss" Coworker" and so on. Has never existed. It where just a " mask" they used when they where lovebombing us before they where going to abuse, neglect us with the gaslighting/silent treatment and so on
Wow this literally sounds exactly like me.
Why is dating so important? I ended a ten year relationship with an avoidant narcissist. I am not excited about meeting another man. I'm older than you and it's acceptable to be single now. The pressure is off!! I'm an artist and self actualized. The man sapped my energy and my spirit
"If you isolate you get weird!"- Crappy Childhood Fairy You said you should know but NEWSFLASH: EVERYONE is weird! The weirdest "ppl" think they are a perfect cool! However, the weirdest "ppl" are the ones who are out judging, being non-empathetic/insensitive, bullying, name-calling, and being malicious and sadistic unwarrantedly!
Hear hear
I get triggered and cannot remember the memory just know it’s a trigger. I literally have gaps. You gave me hope! I am learning to stop and regulate.. one I finally feel HOPE and happiness!
My hang up is guilt. I feel guilt for so much. Guilt for disappointing family & friends. Guilt that stupidly causes resentment & isolation. Guilt that's affected my weight & health, my relationship with people...Shame...
I feel the same way. I have so much shame and guilt inside of me, and people who I dont even know can trigger me. I turn into a fawning, funny, or obnoxious personality around people I know. I have gotten to hate myself and I isolate so I dont have to feel scared. Jesus and church ppl people have given me some hope but I still have all of the same symptoms. I feel for you too.
Don't put your happiness or quality of life within someone else's hands or they will destroy you... Find joy in the little things and the things you are passionate about go after I'm like there's no tomorrow.. Work hard play hard get quality rest and keep a healthy diet... Live long and prosper my friends..
Thanks for sharing! -Calista@TeamFairy
I appreciate the positivity....I am so far away from being able to function normally. I still can't hold down a job, I lost the ability to hold back after the trauma. Still not sick enough to get financial help and I have no idea how to navigate the world anymore.
I am a regular at CoDa. I find so much common ground with myself and other acoas, even though no one in my family was alcoholic. When I was 20, I heard a therapist say "there doesn't have to be alcohol for it to be an alcoholic family system" and I truly believe that. I'm thinking of attending an acoa meeting just to see if I like it, though I probably won't make it a regular thing.
I did ACOA for years. It was very helpful. There were a lot of people in my meeting who did not have alcohol in the family. They came as CODAs. I think that's pretty common.
Anna ❤ I can’t seem to get unstuck and I continue to decline in my life. I feel like a lost soul….I just continually feel like running and isolating…
I feel so seen
I'm so glad the video helped!
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Yes 💜 Thank you!
Your comment surprised me! My therapists rarely seemed to care if I did the homework or not-even though they seemed caring.
You've opened my eyes to the powerful truth - underneath the addictions is CPT. As I heal from this, it's easier to get back on track with disordered eating. Dysregulation was the issue. All the rest are symptoms. I knew there must be something that was deeper than 12 step identity.
"What happens when you isolate all the time? You get a little bit weird." That's true. Then when you come back out it's awkward 😂
Your story really connected with me, thank you. I too am a child of an abusive alcoholic and a disabled mother who wasn't available.
I definitely have all the hallmarks of CPTSD from my childhood, yet it wasn't "crappy." I had a great childhood in many ways. guess I am having a hard time with the term crappy...was it emotionally neglectful, Yes I am realizing...yet nothing outrageous or so obvious. There was love, care, concern and didn't seem all that different than others from my era (70's-80's). I am just realizing that one can have all the material things and a perceived ideal family life, but be neglected. I am finding it as some kind of betrayal that I would even think of my childhood as neglectful, when my parents did everything for us. I am having some issues accepting there was neglect.
Something that has helped me is storyboarding. I found a website that provides panels, backgrounds, stick figures and word balloons and I go to that site to create scenarios of what happened to me. You could just create them on paper yourself if you wanted. In my panels, I can see the situation as it happened, as I remember it from my perspective. I depict the other person and then show myself as a character in the storyboard. I can write a narrative at the bottom of the panels to explain what is going on and how I am feeling. Sometimes I alter what happened and show myself confronting the other person, sometimes, I look out at the viewer and make a statement about how I want to process this situation going forward. I am surprised at how effective it is in creating closure. I found on the Internet that some therapists are using storyboards as a tool for therapy.
Will you share the brand or company that you bought this from? I’m intrigued for myself and others who find writing difficult.
I'm 2 and a half minutes into this video and pausing to say, Thank You! You are the first person I have ever heard say that "Healing is possible!" I'm ready to begin the process. I have purchased the book, COMPLEX PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker
I have seen numerous videos that speak directly to my soul, or ones that I can relate to.
My current language is, "I'm a nothing, I'm a nobody." I'm not having it anymore!
I'm prepared with a desk, laptop, ten pads of paper and writing instruments, a comfy chair to sit and read and reflect.
Thank you and your team for providing HOPE to so many of us.
Yay! You're in a good place!!!
You are strong, and you are worthy!! I've read that book. It's so my family, and me. A fellow healer here.
Drove me nuts to have people say yeah you have PTSD but then lump it in with bipolar disorder lol I’m like no that’s all PTSD - or oh you have panic disorder. No I had this strong suspicion and believe 100% that I have CPTSD and I’ve always had CPTSD since I was probably 16.
~From what you said about writing, i wonder if thats how i was able to quit a 10 year hard-drug habit so easily, without any help or support?~I turned everything into humor & lightened it all through poetry~
I can’t find the “12 things for Doctors to know about CPTSD”? Thanks so much for sharing your support 💜🙏😊
today is just one of these days I don't see an end to this. I seem to be living in constant overwhelm.
Dysregulation alters your processing pathways but not forever, its not permanent. We can rewire the past version ourselves to become the person we want to be. Trauma is not necessarily a life sentence, we can re-regulate and live productively. We can reprogram ourselves with effort, mindfulness and optimism. We can heal ~ Cheers
Thanks for sharing! -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you. I hid things very deep inside and did not want to look at it ever. Someone told me when I was young, that I was never supposed to talk about my problems, and if I did it would be used against me at another time. I believed them. Thank you so much for being there.
Yes, I've done all five and the effect is like compound interest.
Good trauma therapy works with the body to help move the stuck emotions out of the body and also to desensitize to the memory and then tolerate the emotions. Trauma therapy is not just talking.
I suppose people do get angry when you tell them that what they feel is not true love, but limerence. For me, I burn with shame, disappointment, frustration, and hopelessness as this all comes into focus for me. Although looking back at limerence relationships I’ve had, it’s also a relief to realize I’m not just weird or defective. Then there is the struggle over what to do with my knowledge and how to move forward. My faith in God is strong and I have prayed for wisdom over the years, so I know He sent you to open my understanding about limerence. I know too He is walking with me through the recovery phase; there is no need for shame or despair. There is every reason for hope, joy, and gratitude. I appreciate you so much! My counselors were good in their time but the “good” of them had come to an end and your clarity has introduced a new and better phase of my life. Thank you so much Fairy.
I’m surprised at how this CPTSD was not presented to me in this unique way over the years. Such a value this info is. Thank you. 🙏🕉
I’ve been feeling so so much better, it took me awhile to get things in order but I’ve been glowing ever since I’ve started the daily practice. I journal and meditate around 4-5 times a day, since I don’t have too much going on right now besides school but once I’ve mastered my triggers more then I’ll cut it down to 3 times a day. I tell myself instead of getting addicted to something toxic I’ll get addicted to feeling better. My grandparents are glowing now after I started the daily practice too so a win is a win
Thank you for sharing your experiences and lessons with us. I’m sorry you went through these difficulties…
Thank you so much for this video.
I was a paying subscriber for a few months and it was worth it.
The reason I stopped was because I was under the impression somehow that I had to do the daily writing technique 1st thing in the morning followed by ( for maximum benefit) meditation.
I get up around 4 for work already, so doing it the morning would be challenging.
From this video I now understand that your writing method of stating my fears and resentments is helpful anytime, especially when triggered.
I will try again.
I definitely have CPTSD, mostly just from a lack of affection and no opportunity to speak about matters of the heart, including for guidance.
Thank you Anna and team.
" If you are sitting there like a timebomb of triggers thats going to go on any minute," Love this.
I appreciate your honesty. I'm here to learn and get better. Thank you for everything you do for us!! ❤️
This was so helpful. We are always told to talk about things that upset us and it would only make me shake and relive the trauma. This has changed everything. Journaling has helped immensely.
I agree talking about your traumas usually makes you feel worse. .
Listening to you I'm finally starting to have hope it is possible for me to heal! Thank you so much!!!❤️
So happy to hear that, sending you encouragement! -Calista@TeamFairy
I appreciate soooooo much - your content. I feel like you’re talking to me personally sometimes. Thank you so much for the tenacity and doing all the work necessary to get your information to us who need it ❤❤❤
So happy to hear that! Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Wow! You are amazing! My husband suffering from this. Unfortunately, I'm part of the reason he has this. From back when I was 15 yrs old. I traumatized him terribly. We have been together for 43yrs, I would love to help him.
As a therapist and someone who also has CPTSD myself, this is awe inspiring and so confirming! THANK YOU for working to spread the word about this. I'm so excited to look into the rest of your videos.... just this one has so many important gems! Also thank you for encouraging people to find their own sovereign healing instead of the old "consult a therapist or doctor" as the only (and often ineffective) way to heal!!! YES!
Excellent work, sister. Please keep it up. Namaste
This is very true and when I heard it in the narcissist group for the first time it took me aback and lingered in my mind. I realized how I wanted someone to understand me sooo badly. And I couldn’t let this pain go but that’s what I needed to do. Let go of the victim identity.
Solid truth. Every word of this video is pure GOLD. thank you 🙏
Thanks for watching! -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you for these posts. I get so much from these solution based healing techniques.
The 12-Step meetings working steps in Alanon and ACA are life saving.
My drug addicted, violent tempered “parents” have been gone for years but their original programming in my formative brain needed a lot of re-wiring.
Journaling, exercise, eating clean, staying hydrated, processing emotions in real time is essential.
Therapists can work if your goals are in alignment.
I use my therapist for accountability for specific goals related to pushing through difficult yet temporary circumstances and get me out of isolation after letting go of many toxic alcoholics, narcissistic abusers, and my attraction to dramatic “love grenade” people.
Paper and pencil were always there for me. They absorbed the toxic feelings inside and I was able to throw them away. Burn them. Rip them up in little pieces. Or saving them to see over the weeks, months, years; how much my attitude had changed. How I began to see beauty in the world, others, and myself. Wonderful advice!
I so needed to talk about my problems because they started at 5 and they were so normal that I didn't know I was abused and so by talking about it to God and to my sister a little. I was able to understand the narcissist patterns gas lighting project a love bombing if I would've never talked about those things I wouldn't have understood them the same way I wouldn't have understood my Malevolence and how they think and what they're doing to you to hurt you But oh boy when I went through the hatred stage it was very bad on my system because I didn't know that I was not allowed to just let myself feel anything and everything and just stress my body out to the Max and that's what happened It exasperated my CPT SD.
Your videos along with your obvious care, compassion and, omg, pragmatism give me real help that truly makes a difference in my healing journey. Thank you!
You're so welcome. Thanks for watching. - Ashley, Team Fairy
I can't understand people who get mad at you. I recently came across your channel and find your videos extremely helpful as I navigate through my own past and my present journey towards healing.
Thank you so much for teaching what you have learned. I just had the epiphany the other day that I’m still in a “survival mode” as some people would call it. This is exactly what I was talking about. So grateful to come across your content.
So glad the channel has been helpful. Sending you encouragement! -Calista@TeamFairy
So Grateful for your deep understanding of what it is to have CPTSD. You are so right about not relying on others to heal us. They can guide us to some awareness about things that are part of why things are the way they are but WE have to do the work.
I have used so many different things to come to where I am and it’s been a slow process but worth the EFFORTS.
Our awareness is growing on what we truly are. The Eternal Trinity = Physical, Emotional, Spiritual
Anna, I think your brilliant! You've mastered this CPSD subject. Thank u for your thoughts on self Isolation. It's so tempting, but l agree with your thoughts.
You are so welcome! Sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you so much for your persistence ❤ resonates so much
I've been doing the daily practice just for the last 3 days. So it's early still but what I can say is that there has been the ability for me to process and get a handle on the disregulation, then the second response for me has been the ability for me to do something to allow myself to comfort myself in the moment. Years of therapy was telling me to go back and nurture the inner child etc. That felt like a merry go 🎠 round of tears and bad physical manifestations. This helped me get somewhere where I'm not making myself physically sick. I'm looking forward to continuing the practice. I do feel like my life is changing. Thank you for your work and the worksheet you provided for free 😀
People just don't get the idea of dissociation or dysregulation, they think you simply don't want to do or see something, when you're just in a different place. And there are people who take advantage of it and gaslight you into a different reality, then it becomes even more challenging to find a way out.
I found you this morning and I am so grateful!! In one day, you have helped me more than months of therapy 😄
Wonderful!
-Cara@TeamFairy
This was really helpful. Thank you for making these videos :)
Thank you, thank you, thank you! Don’t ever stop what you do - you’ve helped me so much over a short period of time. I feel my worst I’ve ever felt but you’ve unlocked something in my head and introduced me to a community who I can identify with. You are a true angel - thank you 🙏🏼 😌
I'm so glad!
Hudson, I love your name, what's the story of your name? I hope you feel better soon. So many lessons for the pain, I understand
Wow, very helpful. Thx
Thank-you for your good work, Anna!
💙🙏💙
Thanks for watching!
-Cara@TeamFairy
This was so good I needed to listen to it twice. Thank you!
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Oh god!! I understand the tickle me thing, it happen to me, tickle until I cry of pain, completely powerless! It sounds so weird to talk about this and no one understand how tickles can be a trigger but I can't stand being tickle, I really can react aggressively to it. Thank you so much for your videos, it helps a lot!
Glad that helped!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I'm starting to realize I dont need to see a doctor. I just need to keep writing to work through and discard thoughts, trusting God and asking for healing from the Good Doctor (Jesus).
I was tickle-tortured so bad as a kid, i can't enjoy it or hate it anymore ... i am so sorry you can still feel it and it's so triggering. As bad as this sounds, i wish i could enjoy being tickled, but i am desensitized to it and it's just an annoyance. I hate people touching me (unless it's a signif other). One day if I ever get lucky enough to have a boyfriend; i hope the tickle joy will come back. At my age, i'm not hopeful for either.
I almost socked my boss for touching my shoulder as he was attempting an apology to me for making me cry when he snapped at me pretty severely when I did not deserve it. I'm a pacifist, so i restrained myself or didi just freeze or fawn? I was cornered, I couldn't flee.
You videos are so inspirational!! Thank you for all you do!!
Anna I've been watching your videos for awhile now, and I so appreciate your excellent and effective advice and it's starting to sink in. It's not easy to take the necessary steps and do the work, but hearing about your experiences and your way to recovery is helping me move forward. The tools you've provided help me see my way through the 'what ifs' and knowing there's something I can do to help lessen the fear and anxiety. You really impart courage to step out the door and engage. Thank you so much Anna. 💖 You're helping so many people have the insight and tools to rise above. 😃
What an uplifting comment! Thank you for your kind words, and thank you for sharing your inspiring story with everyone here!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you Anna for being the caring person that you are 💗🌼☺️
Okay, I realise I have an issue with my thinking!
I'm afraid of being my own sovereign person and being the final authority in my life because I'm afraid of people misunderstanding me to be a Narcissist! I have to accept that people will misunderstand me no matter what. 🧡
The thing is that some therapists/councilors don't like someone walking into their office and telling them what their problem is so they dismiss your hypothesis and try to take it in another direction. Slightly narcissistic.
This made the most sense to me!!! Finally! Thanks 😊
So glad! -Calista@TeamFairy
Merry Christmas!
Right at the end you mention tickle torture. It’s the first time I’ve heard this said by an expert (I’ve only seen it argued about on forums as to whether it counts as abuse). Thank you for validating my trauma. It’s difficult to heal when I am plagued by my mums words - he was only playing. Please more videos /mentions of tickle torture as a form of abuse. Thanks for a very empowering video. I would love to hear if any others in this community experienced tickle torture by their father in particular. Thanks 🙏
Thank you ❤ I needed to hear your wisdom and learn from your experience. I'm a work in progress.
Were cheering for you.
Jack@TeamFairy
I also keep talk about it. I want to stop that, but it's hard. But I keep trying to leave the past where it belongs... In the past. Thank you CCF for your great work!
Thank you for this. It is a hard journey but doable. The other side is glorious.
Hmm
I was looking for the doctor list, "Things I wish my doctor knew about CPTSD".
Relevant video, thank you!
This was really helpful as a general framework, thank you.
Glad it was helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy
Thanks for the insight
Thanks for listening! -Calista@TeamFairy
Anna, I want thanks you for sharing about the to share about the tickle-torture- something my father did to my brother and I. Somehow I thought it was rare. But as we are the same generation maybe it’s more common. Thank you for sharing these bits about yourself. I want you to know that they resonate with others.
Thank you! This was very helpful ❤
Glad it was helpful!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you so so so much!!!! I been working on me (single)😁 and your videos help me. I DON'T have any baseline.!! I'm BETTER and Stronger 💪
So glad the videos have been helpful! Sending you encouragement, you got this! -Calista@TeamFairy
You have changed my life with these tools... thank you so much
So happy to hear that! Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
You are a brave and amazing woman...and a damned good therapist. 👍
Trusting "healers" is a yet another barrier
I dont have access to support and help but i have access to you and i feel grateful because you are really insightful. A lot of therapist suck. I would love to write about my life and hear your feedback
I'm so happy to hear you're enjoying Anna's content and hope you will send in a letter! Here is a link to the submission page: bit.ly/CCF_Letters
-Calista@TeamFairy
I like cringing listening to this a little bit because I actually don’t know many therapists that dude is traditional talk therapy anymore, so not the case actually to sit here and talk about it. There’s so many other more effective somatic experience, trauma processing moving forward, learning skills therapies that most to use now I know I’m in the field. This is what I do.
Thank you.