Free Range vs Strict Parents: Is Spanking Your Kids Ever Okay? | Middle Ground
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Nguyen seems like a good dad. When he noticed his kid started hitting himself he took a step back and reevaluated his parenting technique. Not all parents are that self-aware
Agreed. He's a great father in my opinion. A lot of kids do that, hell. I started self harming at 7 and never stopped. I was in abusive relationships and situations from the way my parents raised me and am still in therapy to heal those wounds. Thankfully, my parents are trying to get better and attend group therapy. But by now the damage has been done. Even as an 8 year old I broke down and asked " how come it's only wrong when I hurt myself? Everyone else gets to hurt me, am I that much of a bother that you can only show me love by hitting me? " or " If you get to threaten to hit me all of the time, what's the difference between an abusive boyfriend doing it? It'd still be just hitting me because you don't like what I did" ect. These things really can and do affect kids and parents need to be more responsible and mindful of this.
I used to hit myself and sometimes still do when I get in so much trouble so I remember the pain so I won’t do that again
yeah, and that can even lead to self harm in the later future :/
@@kristall5928 My heart breaks reading what you've shared about your childhood trauma. I'm so sad to know you suffered so much. We carry such deeply embedded wounds. I pray this year brings you deep peace and freedom from the weight of psychological scars. You are worthy of it. Sending you oceans of love.
@@MyrnaDeJesus thank you so much. I really appreciate it. My parents are in therapy with me to learn how to do a better job and change, and I see a therapist weekly. I have a boyfriend who helps in ever way imaginable and has kept me alive through the hardest moments. I know I'll never be able to look back and say I had a good or normal childhood but I'm trying to push forward. It's hard, but possible
Parents who say I pay the bills and bring food on the table, that is something you are SUPPOSED to do that as a parent
Exactly
It’s you’re job to provide for a kid that can’t provide for itself
Paying bills, feeding them and putting a roof over their head is the bare minimum.
Totally! My parents took care of me when I was small and I will take care of them when they're old
@Claire Marlowe You should always expect respect from your children as long as you instill those values in them. I’m sure that’s common sense for both parent and their children alike, but “I pay the bills and give you food” should not be shown as a privilege, because that’s really the bare minimum.
Every child, especially teens, needs some kind of privacy.
When you live with your parents, you don’t have privacy. You get privacy when you have your own place.
YES! I'm a teenager and my room's door doesn't have a locker and the windows can't be closed, my parents say I don't need privacy when I do. It's not like I'm going to sell drugs and raise rats in my room.
@@syl.dchrt9 I’m sorry you have to deal with that. Hopefully you get through to them soon, my door doesn’t have a lock either and it’s really frustrating.
@@justgrohlwithit thank you, I hope you get throught it too.
@@syl.dchrt9 u guys have rooms 💀
Let’s bring them all back when their kids are teenagers to see how they feel about their parenting and how it’s going. Would be super interesting
The liberal parents’ kids are going to be getting overpriced college degrees for art and gender studies, transing themselves, and violently rioting LMAO.
And then the liberal parents will be shocked and surprised and wonder why their kids are failing at life and have no discipline, morals or common sense 😂
Omg im here for it
Or bring the kids in and see how they feld about their parenting style
I know several cases when teenagers run away from strickt parents houses.
Nguyen was the best dad yo. "It's not so much about teaching your kids, but learning with them." Love his humility.
Kristian Cloud that actually my dad, thanks for your comment.
Stop lying
Yup
He didn't come across as particularly strict to me - just moderate
Exactly
Nguyen was the only parent I really agreed with. He's not really strict or free range.
Bro his kid slapping himself almost made me cry for some reason
Yes
8:40 ,That got dark real quick...
The perfect parent
Yeah he is a good parent
Jenny saying she wants to stop parenting when her kids turn 18 made me so mad. If you have kids you should be prepared to be their parent for the rest of your life. They will always be your kid.
Exactly
The fact that I'm over 30 and my parents still try to lecture me on, say, wearing a hat inside the house, is precisely why I don't talk to them anymore unless I have to.
@@KJ-wx2su I’m not trying to say that you’re not an adult or anything I’m just saying you’re still the kids parent, you can still talk to your kid and be with them not just kick them out at 18 and say goodbye.
@@JuliaEversole24 for sure for sure. But from my experience the parent-kid relationship needs to evolve as both parties grow and change. It took me a long time to realize my parents, one of them in particular, didn’t know how to talk to me unless it was from a position of dominance, because they can’t accept that their children don’t have to follow their every commands anymore.
@@KJ-wx2su of course. I’m so sorry this happened to you. All I’m saying is that if you have a kid they are your kid for the rest of your life.
“You don’t pay any bills you don’t have any privacy” does she not realize her daughter didn’t choose to be born & literally has no choice but to live with her mom. She can’t pay bills and you decided to have her that’s on you to pay for her. You don’t get to put it on her like she’s gonna owe you something later for it.
Yes! My parents would always use this to make me do things, and they would control me with it. They would act like all five of us children were such heavy burdens and we were causing all their financial problems, but they chose all five times to have s*x, conceive, give birth, and raise us. They made me do chores, and while they paid me for it to teach me responsibility, I had no choice in the matter, and you DO have a choice when getting a job. They would also "forget" to pay me most months, and when I was younger than ten I wasn't getting paid sh*t.
Exactly my thoughts on that, 😊
This was greatly stated, I totally agree!
@@jendayameisner4501Why would they pay you to take care of the house you live in.
@@jendayameisner4501 idk I dont think im ever getting paid for chores
“There’s no privacy because you don’t pay any bills”... 😕 she’s 7.
thats the point...when shes old enough thats when shes granted privacy lol this is why you guys have no idea when ur kids shoot up schools, or get a girl pregnant lol kids are kids
@@fulldem6888 why should she geht pregnat
Exactly, like we didn’t ask to be born you made the decision to raise a child and give birth
Kourtney Howard what kind of privacy does a 7 year old need
Chase not literally privacy like they’re are texting a boy online or something but alone time and other things
Strict parents: *says something*
Other parents: *disagree*
Strict parents: *spank the other parents*
BAHAHAHA
PFFFT
@Maggie Casanova do this * on the beginning and end of the sentence
*HELLO*
@@drunkonbananasmilk1497 *HELLO*
I really liked a lot of Nguyen's views on things. He does identify as more on the strict side but he also remains aware of how his children feel and listens to that, which is very important.
He also doesn't hit his child (he did before, but he corrected himself).
Jenny is the type of mom I would hate to meet on a plane. She comes off like she’d encourage her kids to be as disruptive and entitled as possible and think it’s cute
Same like why would you stop parenting after 18?And why your kid breaking an arm not concerning to you?I think she has just given up parenting.
@@shahhahajsjs3835FR. I was like omg she is so annoying
She gives off "I would let my child walk outside in public with no shoes on" vibes.
@@Aaliyah_Matyevnayea I think a lot of “free range” parents are just lazy and don’t want to do the things most parents do for thier kids. Then label it as free range parenting when in reality it’s bordering neglectful.
@@shahhahajsjs3835 I don't hate on people who are generally correct. The african American mom was the only one I found particularly detestable in how strict she was.
“I pay the bills, I feed you, I gave you a home” yeah that’s like the whole point
Maybe feed your self , get ur own house than you can do what you want. its her house her rules.
@@safkasimanofficial1190 but you can still disagree and question those “rules”
@@safkasimanofficial1190 yes I am going to illegally get a job, pay for a house, drive a car... etc. You do realize that this only applies to emancipated kids and kids 18+ who are financially and mental ready to fend for themselves, right?
@@safkasimanofficial1190 THEN DON'T HAVE CHILDREN!!
@@safkasimanofficial1190 no kid asked to be born tho. Why would parents complain about their kids owe-ing them something when most parents literally wanted to have children that’s literally on them
woman: "when you hear the term "free-range" parent what do you think?"
me: free range chicken.
Same 😂
Ingrid Ayarza chiccy nuggies
honestly me
sofia Rose lol
I think of the happy egg farm. Just loads of middle aged ex hippy dippy rich white women galavanting around a field. Every now and then stopping to make a daisy chain. Giving birth on hay bales and shouting very loudly how they want to do this the natural way and they don't need drugs to help them through the pregnancy. 🙄
Hal and Jenny are examples that both strict and free range parents can be horrible parents.
Lol imagine thinking you could possibly make the determination that any of these people are terrible parents based on this 19 minute video . We know nothing about how their kids actually turned out.
You may disagree with the style of parenting but calling them horrible parents is wild.
@Toadeater I disagree
Yup
Yes!!!!!
What was horrible about Hal and Jenny? I agree with one of those, I’m just curious as to your reasoning.
Too much freedom will make them spoiled and entitled, too much restrictions will make someone angry and rebellious
Exactly it's a fine line!
ACTUAL Freedoom and being lost are NOT the same things
LEARN IT
The guy in the yellow jacket seemed like the most well balanced. You can tell he puts a lot of value in his child's thoughts and emotions.
He was the best but I wish he would have talked more 😅
Son Child Not talking more can contribute to him being balanced
He was awesome
He was great 👏👏especially when they talked about spanking because his point was so introspective.
Nobody:
Christian: I am from a black community
Nguyen’s parenting seems like a good middle point.
I got the same feeling too.
yes! he was resonable
SOPHIA HENKEL yeah
SOPHIA HENKEL yeah
Didn't talk much but sure. Plus your right 'seems' . Tbh we never know what goes on beyond.
Being beaten for doing something wrong seriously fucked me up as an adult. I can’t talk about my abuse without bawling my eyes out because it affected my entire personality. I have no experience setting boundaries, I’m a perfectionist and people pleaser, and I have a really hard time expressing my emotions. If emotional enough, I’ll resort to violence because that’s how I grew up. Unlearning all of this has been the most difficult part of my life and I feel bad for that guys kids.
Showing violence toward those you love will never be the correct thing to do and I hope more parents see this and start thinking about how their actions affect their children
Yeah, they're only teaching their children violence and how to get away with things better when they do this.
I am sorry that happened to you 😢 I hope you are doing well in your life
Being beaten and spanked are very different
@@thatoneartist7719 I had a really abusive childhood. I wasn’t just spanked
@@thatoneartist7719being spanked is still psychologically harmful to children according to scientific studies
Saying you want to stop being a mom when your kids turn 18 is one of the most toxic and dangerous things I've ever heard. I'm glad all the other parents sassed her about it lol
as a child i personally dislike the term "Free Range" as it makes us children sound like farm animals
Jbags123 yeah fr
Right? Don't "train" your kids because they're not animals, but you can call your parenting style the same as the side of an egg carton. Well done, people.
David Meade or maybe teach not train
Lol kids these days are so picky
Thank you
They should’ve brought a kid and ask them how they feel about their parents being free range or strict
re-do this video in 10 years with the kids of these people.....that'd be interesting
the kids of strict parents wouldve probably been too scared to speak up, or they just wouldve lied so they don't get in trouble
Well, I ain’t supposed to be watching this rn lol.
Oh yesss I’m doing my hw mom, and I don’t know where my phone is.....😅
@@eveninglyric687 why do you think kids with strict parents are scared of them? Being strict has nothing to do with scaring children but teaching them that there are rules in the house that they are to follow.
@@kattodoggo3868 I have strict parents 100%. I'm not scared of them, but moreso I'm worried that if they found out I was still friends with people they told me not to interact with, they'd take these people away from me. Said friends are the only people I can truly be honest with due to how they're willing to listen and will not immediately make me feel bad for a choice I made. At this point they feel more like family then my actual family. I can safely say that I do not think of my mom or my stepdad as friends or people who I would be okay with being around as an adult because of how strict they are, and how they often felt like they didn't care for me, or they wanted what was best for them. My mom has rules, and I didn't want to follow them because I wanted to, but because I legit felt like there was nothing else I could do.
that feeling when your parents tell you to your face “i dont believe you have rights because you’re a child” is… eye opening and terrifying
it truly is. not very helpful for the kid's self-esteem or self-worth - my own parents have said that to my face and don't believe it's wrong (somehow??)
@@robin_ru9376what rights you feel the child should have?
My parents would chase me down and beat me. Full on BEAT ME. They would tell me to stop crying or they’d give me something to cry about. I’ve been put in the garage after they hit me. No. Thrown in the garage. They leave me alone now but this led to me staying in my room all day, depression at an extremely young age, hating physical touch, sewerslide attempts, and loads of other mental problems. Discipline should not ever be mistaken for abuse. Whenever I try to say my own opinions and I have to try not to cry. Even if what I’m saying is not that serious. I have a friend who was mentally abused by their dad and that led to them being both mentally and physically abusive towards me. I not only hate myself because of them, but I hate almost everything. Adults especially.
i am so sorry ):
So Sorry💔
What did u do? That sounds like 1 side of the story. They beat u for no reason?
@@art6082 Imagine thinking that it is okay to hunt down your child just to beat them under any circumstances💀
Yeah that's just abuse..
“she doesn’t pay the bills” well she’s a child she shouldn’t
Not her point but okay 🥴
@@kyninja7776 her point is weird regardless tbh
@@omonighoojeaga1820 EXACTLY!!! Those statements make no sense to me because that child literally CANNOT pay the bills even if they wanted to. With that logic they’ll never experience freedom until they turn 18.
@@alyssastar5814 YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE FREEDOM UNTIL YOUR 18....as long as ur under ur parents roof and r being feed, bathed, blothed, etc your fine.
@@sambunk2937 that's retarted what if there abusive huh
"you don't get privacy, you don't pay the bills" and that is how you give your kids anxiety
And the reason why kids don't go to their parents with their problems
@@zacharycollins1547 literally
Many parents just let their kids stay in their rooms all day shut out from the world, then when they finally come out into the world they have no idea what to do. Some privacy is important but you also have to draw a line.
@@ahhhhhh124 yea I agree.
@@ahhhhhh124 it’s also all in the age too. As they get older they get more privacy. A 9 year old doesn’t need as much as a 17 year old. If that makes since
That's insane that she doesn't want to be a mom after her kids turn 18. Everyone needs a momma no matter what age, not just friends.
I think she means that she just doesn't want to have to look after them and have them living in her home when they should be out making a living for themselves if possible. Obviously she will still be there to give advice and care for them when she needs to but at the same time people need to grow up eventually. I feel like a lot of people keep taking her words and twisting them a lil bit and others are getting confused.
@@g0th1c_aj I think a lot of people are missing the fact that she doesn't want to be a mom. Everything she says is about her and what she wants, not her kids and what's best for them. She said, "I don't want to follow the rules, this should be fun." You know who else doesn't want to follow rules because they want to have fun? Children. Parts of parenting are fun. But parts of parenting are grueling. Parts of parenting are miserable. Parts of parenting are hard. It's like this for people who love their kids and care about the adults who they grow into. If the only aspect of parenting you want is the "fun" part, you're gonna raise worthless adults. It's ironic, because she clearly can't wait for them to leave, but with the way she's raising them to do anything they want so they can all just have "fun," they'll probably live and mooch off of her forever. She's a grown child and has no business being responsible for the life of another, and I don't think she has a single piece of valuable advice that she could instill on her kids even if she wanted to.
“It’s an effective punishment” And traumatizing.
i got sooo angry😠
another western priviliged person......
SO IT IS not AFFECTIVE BECAUSE A PUNISHMENT IN RAISING SOMEONE SUPOSE TO only TEAHC NOT HARM
I like how they keep saying “free range” like there organic chicken
LOL
I LITTERALLY THOUGHT OF EGGS
*cough* *cough* they're
💀💀💀
Lmfao
Nguyen is the perfect balance between strict and free range. That’s the kind of parent I would be.
Same here; next generation of asian parents here we come
I always hear nguyen in vietnamese names wtf
Yuri it’s a very common last name 🤗
OMG thanks for the likes
Same, I agreed with all he said.
If I had a parent like Hal, I would be suppressing all that hate deep inside. As soon as I’m able, I would leave this family and disassociate myself from them.
I have a parent like Hal. I love him with all my heart. I know he's made some mistakes, but I'm so glad I've had a parent like him, and not one who thought I should be deciding everything for myself and letting me get away with anything while I was still a child
As someone with a parent like Hal, 1000% confirm everything you said.
Why??? What is he doing that’s wrong?
Love cannot equal violence.
There is a difference between being strict and abusive. Same with ‘free range’ and neglectful.
Mine was both strict and abusive
@@wolfdontcare3980 same
@@wolfdontcare3980 same
EXACTLY
But strict is ussually the path that's leads to abuse. And abusive parents would say that they're strict as if that justifies their actions! The same with free range. But free range is more Young so we will see if it also does the same.
The maturity level of the children should be taken into consideration...
They think we are animals they don't think that we are citizens we can't vote being forced to go school are be aresed its a concentration camp 10 over should be able to vote capitalism s. Fault
Bamburger YES! Exactly
True. I was very ‘mature’ as a child so I didn’t really need strict rules. I had no interest in acting out I just wanted to sing and watch Disney Chanel. Some children have different interest and curiosities some kids learn different.
Bamburger THANK YOU!!!
That's facts big man
as a new parent, I slowly realized that every kid is different and needs different rules. you just need to figure out one suitable way for you and your kids.
My mom beat me & my sibling with belts & extension cords, sometimes bare naked, sometimes fully clothed. She claims it was because her dad did it to her and his mom did it to him. NOW my sibling does it to their toddler, even slaps the child in the face. My mom now says things like "when you know better, you do better." So I mentioned the slap to my mom & she made excuses for my sibling claiming stress and being tired is the reason. She learned NOTHING and is still very controlling. It's sickening! Now, I at 36, have to spend my adult life in f**king therapy, but I want to be healed before dating again, getting married, & bringing a life into this evil world.
Whenever I hear "Free-range parent" I think of chickens
I think of the free range chickens from pearls before swine
i think of eggs
Ohmygosh same
Literally thought the same thing.
Omg same
Lady: "You train a dog, not a kid"
Me: *cant stop associating "Free Range Kids" with "Free Range Chickens" *
Yasmine Larios not the best branding choice lol
Lol
When they asked the first guy what he thinks when he hears the term free range parents, my first thought was if I were him I would have answered “free range chickens”
I was thinking “free range chickens” too 😂
Yasmine Larios LMAOO i thought the same 😂 free range chickens ahhhhhaha i’m ded
I don’t want to be a strict nor a free range parent, I want to be somewhere in the middle, I’ll never spank my kids but will discipline them well. I feel since I was raised by an overly religiously strict parent it hurts me to do the same thing to my child.
Spanking is in no way discipline, it's child abuse. Call me soft if you want, but I've lived through it, and I wouldn't DREAM of saying "thank you" to the parent who used to hit me. You're taking advantage of the fact that as a parent you're more powerful in every way (financially, physically, the fact that you're the authority figure), and essentially bullying someone who is smaller, weaker, and more impressionable. It's insanely messed up. I was spanked as a kid and if I have kids I will NEVER hit them as a punishment. I went through a lot of that as a kid, and I used to get picked up by my hair and dragged around, it was horrific. I still think about it to this day, and now every time my hair gets pulled or caught on something by accident, I lose my mind, because it reminds me of what I went through as a kid. Hal is raising kids that will almost certainly suffer from childhood trauma, and probably have mental illness as well. There's other ways to punish them besides physically abusing them. If he hit his wife, he would go to jail. But if he hits his kids (who are weaker and smaller and less powerful than his wife) that's acceptable?
You’re kinda conflating 2 different things, how is dragging you by the hair a spanking?
If ur ready to spank them im pretty sure ur more than likely put them through other kinds of violence
"because im the parent and youre the child" -my parents every time i voice my opinion
Stephanie Engle I always got “because I’m the mom and you’re the little girl so what I say goes” any time I questioned anything. Now as an adult I sometimes fear questioning things because I grew up feeling my thoughts weren’t valuable and I should never question authority.
That's such a weak statement from parents. I hate it so much.
Ugh I hate that sm, every time I ask my mom “why?” She will get mad and tell me that
my parents have told me that they’re the adult and i’m the child so my opinion doesn’t matter and i should just keep my mouth shut. what do they think that’s doing to me in the long term? what if i’m in an abusive relationship, should i just keep my mouth shut bc that’s how i was raised?
Stephanie Engle whenever I try and speak my side of the story they cut me off and say don’t talk back but I’m trying to voice my opinion and side of the story and now whenever anyone confronts me about something I start to cry because whenever I did something that my parents yelled about I would get scared because I thought they would yell or hit me, sometimes even when I try and voice my opinion or I’m not doing something the way my mom planned she says I want to strangle you right now and she wonders why I never admit to something or why I want to go to friends houses all the time
So in psychology this would be considered extremely permissive parents versus extremely authoritarian parents. Neither are the best choice for parenting
I was thinking the exact same thing. I guess they both do stuff that most people will find correct but not everything.
To be fair, most of them weren't tho. Like, not all the "strict" parents seemed *that* strict compared to others
Maddieocre that was very well put 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Was looking for this comment!! Thank you for saying that!
that's why it's "middle ground", so you can get both extremes and build the best out of both sides
I was raised by free range parents and I can’t imagine not being able to do basic things or have my own things and my own privacy as if I’m not my own person… like… I’ll tell my parents what I want to tell them and I don’t do anything they wouldn’t approve of anyways. but even if I did, I make my own mistakes and that will be on me not them.
no one cares, your name is Sisi
well aren’t you lucky
@@lillyking4627 Jealous much?
@@sxke-lg6gdhe was real silent after that one 😂
@@solomonpro4147bro is still quiet
What's best in parenting is having a little bit of both, you should never be TOO strict but also never TOO lenient. You should be in the middle :)
This comment is completely underrated.
I agree with you on this.
"The beauty of parenting is not what you're teaching your child but what you're learning with your child" - Nguyen
He's the perfect borderline of strict and free range. I would love to have him as a dad.
It's Nguyen, actually. A Vietnamese
Facts
@@BtwAlice oh oops srry
Please do “adults that were spanked as children, and adults who weren’t”
Turkey Sings omg yes
But would that really be too different? Once again, even in the video people from both sides of the question have said they had spanked their kids, only difference was either it happened at some point or is it an active punishment.
Good one indeed
That will never happen 😂😭
Brilliant
I relate to Jody so much, I never had parents and its so hard forever. It never stops being hard, tbh when I became an adult not having parents felt even harder. You face SO MANY things as an adult that would be so much easier or survivable if you had someone at your back that you can fall back on. Never having anyone that will just be there no matter what sucks. Never having anyone that will help you at your lowest is hard.
No one to ask for advice, no one that can help you, it's rough.
I’m sorry to hear that.
no relationship can be truly close if theres no friendship in between
True but between kids and parents should be a different way of respect. You can respect you friend but you might sometimes scream at them or idk. I dont think its acceptable for a kid to yell at their parents. Your parents do more for you than your friends thus i think they deserve more respect. This is of course about normal family cases where the parents arent neglecting their kids.
"you pay no bills you get no privacy."
how is a 8 year old supposed to pay bills?
Being a child actor idk?
@@user-tr1qz2yt5e you do know it was rhetoric 💀💀
@@nigelreynolds5415
You do know they were being sarcastic right?
*7 💀
You can tell she said that bc she probably heard her parents say that and just went with it
Next middle ground topic:
Children of free range parents vs Children of strict parents
Edit: probably teenagers and young adults preferably xD
Nah their parents wouldn't let them go lmao
Remember "strict parents make sneaky children" lmao 😂
They never do these ones
@@jsan-wu1cz and sneaky kids are smart kids cuz they don't get caught
I would love to be in that episode
Anyone who was raised from a cage will always find a way to get out. You will learn to do things secretly. You'll be the perfect kid in front of everyone but a skillful mischievous kid behind wether you like or not, because you were raised from a stressful environment where they give no choice but to follow strict rules.
Yep.
I agree completely.. I'm only fourteen and if I'm being completely honest , I feel I'm much more mature than I'd like to be. I was raised and am still being raised in an environment where ' talking ' is barely anything , and if you are spoken to , it's with aggression in which makes you feel a much similar feeling to how the beatings would as it affects you internally.. Especially because of my language , which is very much.. How do I describe it? I find my language to be very bold and aggressive and so when you speak it with aggression that's another form of aggressiveness. Everyone around me but my own mother describes me as being the quiet , golden child that barely if at all leaves her home , and for the most part , I'm golden because I have to be , not because I want to be.. There's a difference.. I am the sneakiest person you will meet , I hide things like no other , you wouldn't even know it was hidden.. I'm not proud of it , but it's almost like adapting to an environment , I do it for my own survival.
Sure but that teaches you that there are consequences for your actions. It's kept me out of jail at least.
This is not entirely true. It’s hard, but it is possible, for a child to overcome this.
Maybe it’s easier for the parent to change their behaviour but children learn faster than adults so it depends.
Let me tell you something: strict parents and/or high controlling parents create sneaky, rebellious, and resentful kids.
There is a difference between strict and controlling
“There’s no privacy because they don’t pay bills” How you expect your child under 18 to pay bills???
Get a job
Lemonade stand
Kendel Taylor are you joking that’s not their job
Kendel Taylor are u serious rn?
Kendel Taylor can’t tell if you are serious
This is where a parent should be:
Strict--------I--------Free Range
African Fellow 2.0 maybe one notch to the right
just move it to the right a bit
I agree with the reply’s, just move to the right a bit
I'm more here: Strict-----------|-----Free Range
A tiny bit left or a tiny bit right either works great
As a child who was spanked, I am straight up traumatized by spanking/beatings I got. I have nightmares, I constantly fear that people around me are mad at me, I have severe crippling anxiety and depression, I flinch at loud noises, and I am terrified of my parents so I avoid them at all costs. It is in no way the “best” form of discipline if you can even call it that.
I teach kindergarten and have had multiple students become violent with others, and constantly hit their classmates. 100% of these children were spanked or hit at home. Do NOT spank your children. How am I as a teacher supposed to teach my students that hitting others is wrong if their parents hit them? It breaks my heart to see so many young children come to me complaining and crying about their parents and I not being able to do anything. Children grow more violent with more anger issues when hit or spanked. Researchers found that children who were physically disciplined (spanking, swatting, etc.) showed much more aggressive behaviors, thus leading to a greater likeliness of being spanked even more-this creates a vicious cycle that breeds children with anger issues. DO NOT have children if you cannot contain your anger.
Being too strict is not the answer because when your too strict when your child turns 18 they’ll be out running loose like a goose. Trust me I’m 19 and I’ve seen it happen.
greatly said.
Adiyah Crenshaw exactly. You can be strict yet give your child freedom and privacy at the right times!
I got wild at the age 15, and I didn’t calm down until I turned 21 I got myself pregnant. I still have a wild strict here and there but I try not to go to crazy
This is the case in India. Parents are so strict with their kids that by the time their parents think that they are ready to live abroad and will be a good child, they see the freedom foreigners have and immediately start living a care free life...
I know, they think if you raise your kid strictly, then they will keep making "good" decisions that you want them to make. That is not how it is. If you raise them to have no freedom, they are going to want freedom. When they are older they will do what they want.
THAT LADY SAID "I LET HER DRAW" LIKE ITS SOME CRAZY LAYED BACK PARENT THING
IKR 😂
Reddddd flag
wellmost of us like drawing
She was just saying that her daughter has a creative outlet she enjoys, chile
😭😭😭😭
nguyen was the best parent there
My dad used to spank me and I was terrified of him. All I remember is watching my sister get blamed and get spanked, I could hear her crying as I hid from my dad. I also remember whenever I was in trouble I was super scared I would hide and hide and I never wanted to come out. My dad realized that I was scared of him and he was horrified. So he stopped and I’m so glad he did. I think for me I need love and understanding, and now I tell my parents everything I do wrong, I accidentally did a wrong thing I tell them. I’m not scared anymore. And I’m really thankful for that and now me and my dad are best friends :)
Honestly Nguyen's kids are gonna become amazing people imo, he's raising them exactly how I would, not too strict but not too free-range
um i live in asia, and some of these kids are massively spoiled and disrespectful.
Lee Melvin what are the parenting skills have been employed to the “some of these kids are massively spoiled and disrespectful”? You cant just generalize one parenting style on a whole continent. I bet you are not even sure if they received same parenting styles from others. I also live in Asia
He seems dope
yea but it’s weird that he calls himself a strict parent
Lee Melvin you’re probably talking about crazy rich SPOILED asians
“Spanking is horrible”
Kids with boomer parents get flashbacks
Are boomers fetile enough to still have kids? Or by kid are you talking adults who are 40?
@@LamesWivams yeah they are. I know. It's my dad's age and he has kids that are in elementary school. Women go through menopause but men don't. Evidently you don't know biology very well. Sure it might be harder for them to get some people pregnant but realistically a man could get a girl pregnant up until they're like a hundred years old.
@@LamesWivams my parents are boomers and I'm 20
My mama is a milenium and i had flashbacks hahahaha
Ugh, facts
I am 22 now, started education at university still living with my mom. My mom used to hit me as a child, and was never warm or “friendly“ to me, also didn’t believe in privacy. My dad on the other hand would talk to be about real life issues and was open with me. I resent my mother and deeply struggle with having a conversation with her. I wish she was more of a friend for me, especially immigrating to Canada having nobody. Her parenting style has shown in how I am socially and emotionally (depression, anxiety, and anger) and I’m working everyday to heal from past experiences with her
Feel u
Im grateful for my dad spaking me but it wasnt like your mom im sorry you had to go through that i pray you heal from the things youre dealing with
"I will never give up growing myself" - A beautiful statement coming from a mother who is willing to adapt to change to raise her child in the best way. As someone who has witnessed over and over again how a refusal to change has ended up having both my mother and brother grow distant from one another because of giving up on change. It's nice to hear that as we grow up constantly knowing new information and that when it ever comes to raising my own children if I'm ever that lucky I'll be able to meet them halfway. To change my own viewpoints/actions/lifestyle so long as it meant they grow up to be accepted as they are, loved, respectable, open-minded and kind individuals. As a society that is in constant evolving conflict I hope that as parents or say leaders of youth we're doing our best to prepare a future where harmony and or balance can be found amongst all social types or in this case a middle ground for future generations ever after.
“Privacy is not something a child should be entitled to have”
I’m sorry, what? I think a kid deserves some privacy, at least. Edit: thx for all the likes! I appreciate it!
Lazii Cozplayer bro ikr because if parents don’t give their kids at least some privacy, it can build distrust in relationship and it can encourage them to get good at hiding their stuff from their parents. Sorry if I said anything wrong my English isn’t really that good.
FineKush it build distrust if you have to much privacy
Lazii Cozplayer yess, my parents are pretty strict and give me some privacy. Me and my sisters are pretty secretive towards our parents so I feel like kids should be given as much privacy as they need, as long as they can open up to you
@@hiffahyphae6707 Yes, the problem with teenager (and even adult) are that they bound to have secrets.
I'm living with strict parent, but I have privacy.
For some things. Say my parents pay for my phone, so i have to let them look through it. They own it, but as soon as i can pay for it myself, they dont have the right to look through it, unless im under their roof over the age of 18.
“You don’t pay the bills”
Bro she’s 7💀
mate, you ever been too nice with a dog when it messes up and then it shits on your couch? its cuz he doesnt understand he's in your spot, or doesnt care, so you have to let it be known whose the spot is, the house is the spot. (i would never beat my dog, just saying marking territory is necessary, humans included)
@@faux4780 you can teach your kid to respect you and the house their living in ( which is not only yours but theirs as well) without pulling the you don't pay the bills card ! that's same as saying something has to be the way you said because you said so ! makes no sense
@@faux4780 ah yes, let’s compare dogs to humans, because that makes a lot of sense
@@powderwww5802 the analogy checks out mate, "you dont pay the bills" is just "your loved and welcome, but you dont own where you stand, its your home, not your house" same as giving a dog boundaries.
@@anjabugg1941 no its not the same as "cuz i said so", maybe your parents made rules up as they went along and used it the same way as that, but in my house it was when a specific thing happened, like messing up the house, untidy room, complain about dinner, etc.
hal saying that spanking is the best way to discipline your child is mad crazy and scary. your kid isn't gonna go around playing after you spank them, they ARE in fact going to go somewhere and cry about it. a parent is someone whose supposed to nurture, care and protect you, not inflict any sort of physical harm on them. I used to say that getting spanked as a kid didn't affect me, but I didn't realize how much it actually did until I had younger siblings, especially my baby brother. when my parents would ask me to hit them if they weren't listening, I literally couldn't work up the courage to do that. I don't have the heart to hit someone I love, especially a child, someone I love, at that. we are so much physically stronger than them. the last thing I want is for my future kids to look at me the way I looked at my parents after id get spanked. my job now as an adult is to become the parent I wish I had. not saying my parents were horrible, but I know what's affected me throughout all these years and I want to try my best to prevent that for my future children.
What Christian said about spanking and slavery really opened my eyes. My dad got the belt and he used it on us as well. He told us we got lucky compared to what he got. My dad's Jamaican, so slavery has had a direct physical impact on my life through generational trauma.
Honestly, Ngyuen seems to have the most balanced and healthy parenting style out of the group.
Yea
Yup
Nah Hal
@@corydelaney4775 dear lord no I'd honestly be really upset if he was my dad
Definitely
I would rather my kids think “omg I really need to call mom for help” vs “omg mom can’t find out about this... I can’t call her or else she’ll get pissed”
I agree, there is a clear difference between being afraid of your parents and respecting your parents
Fr I'm so glad my mom is a free range parent.
!!
I wish I could like this comment a million times honestly.
the second quote is legit how i think 24/7
There is so much grey area here, neither extremes work - being too strict will lead to hiding, lying, manipulation, etc… being too passive will lead to kids with no guidance or boundaries. I love that Christian talks about it all being one giant experiment and that’s so true. The most important thing is to own up to any mistakes you feel you made and repair with your kid later on. As we get older, we start to see our parents as fallible humans who mess up sometimes but it’s the repair that we’re all looking for as adults - we just want to hear an “I’m sorry” or “Yeah I wish I had handled that differently with you” from our parents and so much healing can come from that. We can’t control whether our parents will ever give us that closure, but we can choose to take those difficult steps of swallowing our pride and being intentional with our own kids. Take the pressure off of yourself of needing to be a “perfect” parent and let yourself make mistakes when you know you’re making what feels like the best choice in the moment and if it turns out later on that it wasn’t, you know that you did your best and you can admit your faults. As your child grows up, they will come to understand your decisions and respect you more and learn that it’s okay for them to make mistakes in life too, especially if they go on to have kids themselves. Repair, repair, repair.
I think Jenny’s world view is so warped because as a child she was “raised” while being disassociated from her mother. She’s independent now but not because she’s stronger but because she had no one to turn to or consult, so she’s so confused when the other lady is making the point about her mother always being her mother because her mother was always so detached that she never really was her mom in the end but instead felt like a grownup roommate
being too strict is not healthy, but being too free range is also very problematic for the child.
I agree! Growing up my parents were always in the middle, like they were pretty free ranged most of the time, but were strict when needed to be.
Hannah Nerd facts my parents are just right
Amalia Arregui i mean as long as u aren’t just letting your kids do whatever they want no matter what that is, i think free range parenting is probably pretty good for a child
ur nine
The Cousins hahaha and what’s the issue?? they are affected by how parents act so they have an opinion. stop being annoying
I feel like every child needs some sort of structure no matter how free range chicken your parenting style is.
Chris Dutton it should be a balance, let them make their own decisions but, when they start abusing that set the record straight
FREE RANGE CHICKEN AHAHHAHA
True. But i think when people think of free range they first think of the extremes; parents with no rules and lessons at all. But free range can mean almost anything. Most free range familiea i know of do have bedtime and do have rules around schooling and eating, but just let their kids play outside unattended and pick their own hobbies, clothing and snacks.
veer9 are u not listening to Jenny lol she’s strictly no rules lol
It depends on the child. Often times I see free range as basically non parenting, I would lean free range but hands on/present
That guy being so confident about spanking is terrible. Absolutely horrifying.
Nguyen was my fav. He’s balanced.
”My daughter trusts me”.. You don’t know that. That’s what she makes you believe, whether it’s true or not.
Nattskog if you put a kid in that kind of environment they’re gonna say what other people want to hear and not what they actually feel
not necessarily. the way the parent develops the relationship can truly mean that the child really does trust them as their parent.
U could usually tell if ur child trusts u r not but if u wanna go there technically u never know if anyone trusts u because there is no way to know if someone is TRULY telling the truth
Nattskog facts
Nattskog they probably know their kid better than you do though.
Nguyen’s parenting is just as right, not too strict and not too free range.
yeah i loved how that he was the middle ground parent and was quite respectful and sought for the best of both worlds
I would have loved to have him as a parent
Right lol the bill thing is Ridiculous
I love that. That’s exactly how my parents parent me and I believe all parents should be like that.
Yes he’s not an Authoritative parent or a Permissive parent he’s a Democratic Parent which is right in the middle of Authoritarian and Permissive and I honestly believe that’s the best parenting style there is.
I had a friend who wanted to quit piano lessons. His parents forced him to keep going saying no you can't quit. He later took his own life. He was being abused by the piano teacher. He even tried telling them. They called him a liar.
I can't imagine ever forcing my child (or any child) to go fouth with any activity they truly weren't enjoying. I think it's nice to find things you're kids do truly enjoy and to ask questions. They should always feel loved and supported!
0:38 What she said made me tear up a bit, my brother is autistic, he's turning 6 in January. When ever he has a meltdown, my mom gets really mad at him without thinking about his feelings
"you don't get privacy because you don't pay bills."
SEVEN. YEAR. OLD. CHILDREN. DON'T. PAY. BILLS. THEY. HAVE. NO. MONEY.
Yeah like they have no way of paying the rent even if they wanted to
I will let you call me a child but I will never let you call me poor take that back immediately
@@mrmiku-yk8jr lmao what??
@@Annie-mf8wu i have money therefore i can pay bills BUT i choose not to cause im not obligated to also them saying that is basically them implying im poor and have no money
@@mrmiku-yk8jr are you 7?
"when you hear the word 'free range parent' what do you think of?"
me: *Eggs*
chickens running😂😂
Lolololllll 😂🤣😂
its funny because its true, i even watched till the end of the video and was still wondering where are the eggs
a weapon
yh
My mom used to hit us when we were kids but to us there was a difference between her disciplining us when we were actually doing something wrong and traumatizing us ,when you remember specific details of the day how you were hit then that's trauma ,I was always scared to do something wrong not to do something at all, I love and respect my mom till this day she was an amazing parent to us
I sort of agree with what you're saying. But while I do remember specific parts of it (the pain, the red marks, how I felt while I was crying, the room it happened in, the smells, the sights, everything) people often block out painful or traumatic memories, and everyone experiences trauma differently, so you can't just group every victim together. And thank you for not dismissing the victims or pretending them away.
from my experience as a daughter of strict parents, i am 18 now and i still fear my parents. when i’m in my room, i am able to recognize who’s footstep is coming up the stairs and which room they’re going to go to. living under such harsh rules and being restricted to join sports or clubs, really only made me curious abt it as a kid. i became sneaky and secretive. my mom asked me why i wouldn’t show her my tik toks or instagram. it’s not because i am doing bad things, but because it’s my safe place. if i cannot have it in the home i am in, i have it digitally. i talk about how i feel on there and knowing my mom, she would always have something to say about it. she yelled a lot and inflict and project her trauma and opinion too harshly on me when i was younger. parents have to realize kids will have different opinions throughout life and can still respect theirs. so yelling and never having privacy growing up only pushed me away from opening up to my parents. even til now, when she raises her voice at me, my eyes tear up. i still ask if i can go out with my friends even though i’m adult. i don’t tell them anything abt my dating life bc the second they find out i’m interested in someone, they take my freedom of going out away. i’ve been really sheltered my whole life and have had decisions made FOR me. so when i did hit 18, i honestly didn’t know what to do. i didn’t develop much of a critical thinking skill, as well as thinking for myself and what i want.
I'm really sorry you're going through this. I hope you find the strength and knowledge to get out of that situation;(
A good parent leans towards free range but is strict in the right way.
I also feel like it depends on the child. You could be doing everything right and your child still comes out the wrong way. I think instead of basing the decision of how you’re gonna parent before hand you have to base how your going to parent around the child.
True
@@kimquality3850 that's interesting, do you have any specific examples?
A good parent makes their presence comforting. Not to present child, but to future child. If you tell your child, "My House, My Rules" without telling them why you have the rules that way, they're gonna act according to the rules they see reasons for being there. I remember when I told a kid this: Instead of "Get your shoes on, can't you listen" when we were expecting a tornado, it was "Are you willing to run through a half-mile of broken glass and dog poop like that?". We obey the rules we understand the reasons for. You don't have to lay out your budget to explain why they can't have that thing, you only have to say "That, or dinner, I can't afford both." We obey the rules when we know the consequences of breaking them, but we should bear the consequences together when it does happen. Whipping a child for breaking the vase teaches them that coming to you for help only results in pain. Helping them pick up the pieces while telling them they should be aware of their surroundings? They associate coming to you when bad things happen with getting help, support, and guidance. If you show them why you have those rules, and help them to avoid breaking them, while providing guidance to them when it eventually does happen, there isn't a rule they won't follow.
This was WAY too long.
@@kimquality3850 i agree, parents should shape the way they teach their kids according to their actions however, if they have 2 or more kids that would be confusing to them bc one is getting a different treatment
Tell me why all the free range parents look like art teachers....
Paradize lmfao ikr
Oh damn you right 😂
They kinda look like hippies
and theyre all white women,, i wasnt surprised honestly. some might be anti vacciners too lmfao
Paradize because they want their kids to be free and do what they want; artists also do their own thing, they create what they like.
I think Hal’s summation of spanking is telling for just why spanking isn’t effective in the long-run. Because it is just a quick fix, there’s no reasoning with the child, and they’re losing out on cultivating that ability in their formative years. Teaching them to think through fear is not sustainable, they have to think logically, and speaking to them is what helps them do that. Helping them understand the situation, the gravity, and how it affects not only them, but others. That’s parenting. Not smacking them and expecting that to change teach them any real lesson. Take the time, and be there for your kids when their behavior is telling of something deeper going on.
It taught me .. everyone learns differently but I respect your point of view
“It’s just a lot of fun to have kids” that’s where the problem starts. PLEASE don’t have kids bc you think it’s “fun”
Nguyen is the perfect balance of strict and free range
I think the same!
Absolutely, I found myself agreeing with him the most
@@aziul8 same
Lara BIankin fr that’s exactly how i want to be
i agree along with Lenore 🤷🏻♂️ except the subway at 9 experience i think that was an experiment... to be fair though i got lost at an aquarium at 7 years old and responsibly walked to a security guard and asked to use his phone to dial my mom... im a free range child 😌
“There’s no privacy because you don’t pay bills” wtf
Dame right
Crimsonite20 I would like to direct you to the laws of privacy
Crimsonite20 lmao I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to do that. Privacy is a basic human right.
lArRy bArRy talking about kids an teenager's they will never be any privacy in my house
Sherena Sherman healthy and normal behaviour
This is one of the best episodes of common ground
All the political episodes are just bad because the opposing sides are so polar that they can't even look each other in the eye or treat them with respect
I agree with points that everyone made, it just comes down to finding a balance between free range and strict parenting
Parenting is like water. Not too hot or is flowing free like steam. Not too cold or bound together like ice. But meant to be cool liquid water. Where the molecules are like your child’s freedom. Be like water.
True spanking should be last resort because some kids never listen if you are just telling them no.
@@lakibody absolutely wrong in every aspect. Hitting your husband is abuse. Hitting your wife is abuse. Hitting your pet is abuse. Hitting your child is abuse. Abusing has been proven to only give negative results.
@@lakibody Maybe you should learn some patience then? They're not animals. They'll understand you if you just sit down and talk with them.
Facts
Please please please do a follow-up episode with this group in 5 years ❤. Would love to see how their perspectives change as their kids age.
Parents: There’s no privacy in my house.
Kid in the bathroom: -_-
Hehehe
Lmao
XDDD
joe shmoe in our house we have to keep the door unlocked we are not allowed to lock any doors even if we are changing
@@saji.2874 that's insaine. And a little creepy to be honest. What is your parent afraid of you doing behind closed doors? Mastrabating? Taking a crap? None of that is anybody's business but your own.
I hate the whole ‘I feed you, I clothe you, I house you’ guilt tripping argument. Like you CHOSE to have a child so congratulations on obeying the bare minimum of law that exists to legally have a child.
Jeez, just cuz its expected of em by law doesn't mean to take it for granted, cuz it isn't, if the kid is starved and neglected 9/10 the kid gets taken away and parents get no consequences, so unless you have an Asian tiger mom that makes u do violin 4hours+ and maths 3hours+ don't complain about them mentioning you should show a little gratitude through your actions, its just cringey entitlement, Yikes.
@@faux4780 no one takes it for granted, parents just expect us to bow down to them for giving us things, instead of getting mad at the tiniest things and using the excuse of “I own the house” or “you can leave if you don’t like it” why not consider your children have emotions and try to better yourself as a parent
@@joestarballz6296 lol how old are you mate im 19 its called coming to an understanding with your parents, be a better kid, dont be a twat and fuck up something YOU didnt pay for, either your parents made rules up as they went along and used it as a "cuz i said so" type thing or your entitled af tbh
@@faux4780 oooh 19 look everyone we got an adult here. See? No one cares
@@angeltripper8518 opposite to what my point was, what im tryna say is im closer to a kid than an adult and yous are having child-like reactions to a valid point.
I had super strict parents and by my teenage years I had become a nightmare sneaking around them and able to lie very easily. I went through some hardships discovering the dark side of the world by myself. I wish I had been exposed to more with the assistance of my parents. Now I have stabilized as an adult but I realize there needs to be a middle ground
i'm so scared for hal's children he is obviously abusive
He's not abusive. He's strict. That's how my dad is. The Bible does say to train your children (in the way of the LORD)
@@LarissaDawn your in a cult
@@LarissaDawn exactly
🙄
@@LarissaDawn you have serious issues
You need a balance between free-range and strict.
Right
Big faccts
some day wht is consider free-range will be strict, so is not objective to think that. kids will still going to be in the future people that have no knowledge of their decisions and emotions.
Definitely
@@k11niie bruh that's my mother. When I was little I didn't know how to make decisions and what was good for me. I just wanted hot wheels, but as I grew older and more mature she gave me more freedom to do what I want and become an independent person.
The level of strictness depends on the kids age &’ their maturity.
Exactly, a four year old wouldn't u derstand why they shouldn't jump on the stairs, so they have to have more rules, and when those rules stick with them when they grow up they wouldn't need as much punnishing...
Well said
I believe that completely
True. Could go for the parents as well.
I agree, that’s how I was raised at least
The lady that said she want to stop parenting at 18 is crazy! Kids always will want there parents.
My parents used to be like Hal. They learned a lot and made amends to me and my four siblings and now we do have relationships with them (some more strained than others). But I missed out on a lot of time with my parents because there was so much trauma and resentment that I had to work through. Hal will have to deal with the same thing my parents had to deal with: resentment, accusations, distance, lack of trust.