Nguyen seems like a good dad. When he noticed his kid started hitting himself he took a step back and reevaluated his parenting technique. Not all parents are that self-aware
Agreed. He's a great father in my opinion. A lot of kids do that, hell. I started self harming at 7 and never stopped. I was in abusive relationships and situations from the way my parents raised me and am still in therapy to heal those wounds. Thankfully, my parents are trying to get better and attend group therapy. But by now the damage has been done. Even as an 8 year old I broke down and asked " how come it's only wrong when I hurt myself? Everyone else gets to hurt me, am I that much of a bother that you can only show me love by hitting me? " or " If you get to threaten to hit me all of the time, what's the difference between an abusive boyfriend doing it? It'd still be just hitting me because you don't like what I did" ect. These things really can and do affect kids and parents need to be more responsible and mindful of this.
@@kristall5928 My heart breaks reading what you've shared about your childhood trauma. I'm so sad to know you suffered so much. We carry such deeply embedded wounds. I pray this year brings you deep peace and freedom from the weight of psychological scars. You are worthy of it. Sending you oceans of love.
@@MyrnaDeJesus thank you so much. I really appreciate it. My parents are in therapy with me to learn how to do a better job and change, and I see a therapist weekly. I have a boyfriend who helps in ever way imaginable and has kept me alive through the hardest moments. I know I'll never be able to look back and say I had a good or normal childhood but I'm trying to push forward. It's hard, but possible
I really liked a lot of Nguyen's views on things. He does identify as more on the strict side but he also remains aware of how his children feel and listens to that, which is very important.
@@jendayameisner4501”he doesn’t hit his kid” “he remains aware of how his children feel” well, both are the bare minimum. he doesn’t abuse his kids and at least acknowledges they are fellow humans. it’s time to stop congratulating dads on doing the bare minimum. nguyen has a lot of room to grow as a parent.
I'm pretty sure he had strick tigers parents. He understands that it's good to have rules but also not to the point where the child feels like a prisoner.
@@mesooofrugal bingooo!!!! i feel like most asians who are first gen (ie they had immigrant parents but grew up in the states themselves) are good at finding that balance between maintaining the goal-oriented, rule-based parenting they grew up with but not implementing the borderline trauma-inducing restrictions to freedom/self expression or the corporal punishment
This is the approach I take with my students (I'm a tutor, not a teacher). I'm not gonna be a dictator, but I'm also not their best friend. I'm their mentor, I'm there to teach them skills and be respected as a leader, but I'm also there to help them feel safe and have fun safely.
Jenny is the type of mom I would hate to meet on a plane. She comes off like she’d encourage her kids to be as disruptive and entitled as possible and think it’s cute
@@Aalijah_Matyevnayea I think a lot of “free range” parents are just lazy and don’t want to do the things most parents do for thier kids. Then label it as free range parenting when in reality it’s bordering neglectful.
@@shahhahajsjs3835 I don't hate on people who are generally correct. The african American mom was the only one I found particularly detestable in how strict she was.
Lee Melvin what are the parenting skills have been employed to the “some of these kids are massively spoiled and disrespectful”? You cant just generalize one parenting style on a whole continent. I bet you are not even sure if they received same parenting styles from others. I also live in Asia
“You don’t pay any bills you don’t have any privacy” does she not realize her daughter didn’t choose to be born & literally has no choice but to live with her mom. She can’t pay bills and you decided to have her that’s on you to pay for her. You don’t get to put it on her like she’s gonna owe you something later for it.
Yes! My parents would always use this to make me do things, and they would control me with it. They would act like all five of us children were such heavy burdens and we were causing all their financial problems, but they chose all five times to have s*x, conceive, give birth, and raise us. They made me do chores, and while they paid me for it to teach me responsibility, I had no choice in the matter, and you DO have a choice when getting a job. They would also "forget" to pay me most months, and when I was younger than ten I wasn't getting paid sh*t.
Being beaten for doing something wrong seriously fucked me up as an adult. I can’t talk about my abuse without bawling my eyes out because it affected my entire personality. I have no experience setting boundaries, I’m a perfectionist and people pleaser, and I have a really hard time expressing my emotions. If emotional enough, I’ll resort to violence because that’s how I grew up. Unlearning all of this has been the most difficult part of my life and I feel bad for that guys kids. Showing violence toward those you love will never be the correct thing to do and I hope more parents see this and start thinking about how their actions affect their children
Nguyen is the best parent there because he is the most balanced one you can't just let your kids do whatever they want they grow up spoiled and entitled that way however you can't control every aspect of your kids lives either as they will grow up too sheltered and resentful. Therefore there has to be a balance between both extremes
U could usually tell if ur child trusts u r not but if u wanna go there technically u never know if anyone trusts u because there is no way to know if someone is TRULY telling the truth
Saying you want to stop being a mom when your kids turn 18 is one of the most toxic and dangerous things I've ever heard. I'm glad all the other parents sassed her about it lol
They think we are animals they don't think that we are citizens we can't vote being forced to go school are be aresed its a concentration camp 10 over should be able to vote capitalism s. Fault
True. I was very ‘mature’ as a child so I didn’t really need strict rules. I had no interest in acting out I just wanted to sing and watch Disney Chanel. Some children have different interest and curiosities some kids learn different.
@@jennyzhang3411 people are too caught up in the idea that the sole purpose of an argument is to determine a winner, which defeats the purpose of a constructive argument.
I would rather my kids think “omg I really need to call mom for help” vs “omg mom can’t find out about this... I can’t call her or else she’ll get pissed”
I think she means that she just doesn't want to have to look after them and have them living in her home when they should be out making a living for themselves if possible. Obviously she will still be there to give advice and care for them when she needs to but at the same time people need to grow up eventually. I feel like a lot of people keep taking her words and twisting them a lil bit and others are getting confused.
@@g0th1c_aj I think a lot of people are missing the fact that she doesn't want to be a mom. Everything she says is about her and what she wants, not her kids and what's best for them. She said, "I don't want to follow the rules, this should be fun." You know who else doesn't want to follow rules because they want to have fun? Children. Parts of parenting are fun. But parts of parenting are grueling. Parts of parenting are miserable. Parts of parenting are hard. It's like this for people who love their kids and care about the adults who they grow into. If the only aspect of parenting you want is the "fun" part, you're gonna raise worthless adults. It's ironic, because she clearly can't wait for them to leave, but with the way she's raising them to do anything they want so they can all just have "fun," they'll probably live and mooch off of her forever. She's a grown child and has no business being responsible for the life of another, and I don't think she has a single piece of valuable advice that she could instill on her kids even if she wanted to.
@@g0th1c_aj ngl the moment a child turns 18 is crazy. Especially if they are interested in college. Give them a few years more to get their career figured out and get a job before just expecting them to be independent immediately at 18.
I want to be like Nguyen when I have kids. He’s sounds like he’s has rules but also remembers his kids are human and have thoughts and emotions of there own.
Honestly, this book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ gave me the encouragement I needed to stay strong in raising my kids with Christian values, it’s comforting to know Im not alone on this journey
I think that someone can find a healthy balance between being strict when necessary but also being relaxed. It really depends on the type of person who they are raising.
One thing I noticed about being raised with a strict parent is that they have your back. Like if someone in class made you mad and you tell your parent they seem to want to fight for you more. They're that parent who would come to school and whoop that students or teachers @$$. That's one thing I like about strict parents. But free range parents seem like the type to support you emotionally like be more like a friend. I want a parent with a little bit of both a strong parent not a flimsy parent.
I can't agree with this enough, growing up my mom raised me and my older brother by herself till I was about twelve she meant my stepfather(who is my real father as far as I'm concerned) he was a marine and surprisingly he was a very free-ranged parent, and even tho my mom was strict she was also trying to keep us safe me and my brother turned out fine
that thing Nguyen said about not listening to all the advice, because parenting is about LEARNING something with your child... straight up beautiful my man
@@eveninglyric687 why do you think kids with strict parents are scared of them? Being strict has nothing to do with scaring children but teaching them that there are rules in the house that they are to follow.
@@kattodoggo3868 I have strict parents 100%. I'm not scared of them, but moreso I'm worried that if they found out I was still friends with people they told me not to interact with, they'd take these people away from me. Said friends are the only people I can truly be honest with due to how they're willing to listen and will not immediately make me feel bad for a choice I made. At this point they feel more like family then my actual family. I can safely say that I do not think of my mom or my stepdad as friends or people who I would be okay with being around as an adult because of how strict they are, and how they often felt like they didn't care for me, or they wanted what was best for them. My mom has rules, and I didn't want to follow them because I wanted to, but because I legit felt like there was nothing else I could do.
it truly is. not very helpful for the kid's self-esteem or self-worth - my own parents have said that to my face and don't believe it's wrong (somehow??)
@gjjijji children already have rights. They need to be protected from adults from harm, psychologically, mentally and physically. They used to be stuffed up chimneys and forced into work. Children have it a little better now, but they have rights because naturally they are humans. Children aren't another species.
Im going to be honest , that could either be REALLY messy or very productive. Im a teenager, the need for money and a job aside, i could productively adult lol , ya know on a baseline scale. But then again, i have friends who cant even wash there own close. Friends that are only children and dont know the importance of managing money. Yea im still a teen but i have the sense to begin preparing myself for the outside world, with the help of my parents. and i have friends that would completely disasgree lol. so yeah either way
same, i think my mom being that way allowed me to have a great relationship with her & not disrespect her wishes/rules, but also know that i’ll be supported in making my own (rational) decisions
as a new parent, I slowly realized that every kid is different and needs different rules. you just need to figure out one suitable way for you and your kids.
"there is no privacy" that makes me sick to my stomach knowing that some people actually think that's the right way to think about your children. They are human.
I grew up with parents who had that mindset and it was horrible. It made me intensely secretive and someone who lied often to their faces for fear of whatever little freedom I got myself being found and taken away. I felt like I was unable to really tell my parents anything, and constantly suffocated and trapped.
They use that argument just to be all in your personal business because they're nosy and want to tell it to the whole world to make you feel bad for "Keeping things from them."
yeah my parents are like that,they said privacy is EARNED and “you’ll receive it when you get your own house,but if your living in my home then you’ll have none.”
As a child who has grown up with strict parents, let me tell you, I am INCREDIBLE at hiding ANYTHING, sneaking out, lying, acting, gaslighting. Absolutely incredible.
Strict parenting isnt synonymous with children living in fear and withholding information from their parents. Parents are people too, and second hand trauma is REAL. Strict parenting or free range parenting wont solve someone's ability to be a nuturing parent. Being strict or free is simply a method, how ones parents communicate and treat a child is case by case.
If I had a parent like Hal, I would be suppressing all that hate deep inside. As soon as I’m able, I would leave this family and disassociate myself from them.
I have a parent like Hal. I love him with all my heart. I know he's made some mistakes, but I'm so glad I've had a parent like him, and not one who thought I should be deciding everything for myself and letting me get away with anything while I was still a child
Now bring their kids or kids of strict and free range parents Bonus: their parents listen to their perspective without interrupting Edit: I’ve been getting comments about the safety of the child and I completely understand where it’s coming from so to modify my original statement maybe instead of using teens of strict parents we can use adults or people who are no longer living with their parents so they don’t have to fear for their safety once they go home after speaking the truth. That could be one solution, I’ll be happy to read others if you guys have any, I just hope that this idea comes to life because we’ve never really been able to see that perspective, you know? Thank you for the feedback ⭐️
It would be better if the parents could see them but the kids couldnt so they dont have the pressure of their parents staring them down and they can really say what they want
I relate to Jody so much, I never had parents and its so hard forever. It never stops being hard, tbh when I became an adult not having parents felt even harder. You face SO MANY things as an adult that would be so much easier or survivable if you had someone at your back that you can fall back on. Never having anyone that will just be there no matter what sucks. Never having anyone that will help you at your lowest is hard.
Ro tbh i feel like a parent should have the traits of a friend like trustworthy and reliable, talks me and a good listener without being considered a friend at all
Yes he’s not an Authoritative parent or a Permissive parent he’s a Democratic Parent which is right in the middle of Authoritarian and Permissive and I honestly believe that’s the best parenting style there is.
"I will never give up growing myself" - A beautiful statement coming from a mother who is willing to adapt to change to raise her child in the best way. As someone who has witnessed over and over again how a refusal to change has ended up having both my mother and brother grow distant from one another because of giving up on change. It's nice to hear that as we grow up constantly knowing new information and that when it ever comes to raising my own children if I'm ever that lucky I'll be able to meet them halfway. To change my own viewpoints/actions/lifestyle so long as it meant they grow up to be accepted as they are, loved, respectable, open-minded and kind individuals. As a society that is in constant evolving conflict I hope that as parents or say leaders of youth we're doing our best to prepare a future where harmony and or balance can be found amongst all social types or in this case a middle ground for future generations ever after.
Amalia Arregui i mean as long as u aren’t just letting your kids do whatever they want no matter what that is, i think free range parenting is probably pretty good for a child
@Claire Marlowe You should always expect respect from your children as long as you instill those values in them. I’m sure that’s common sense for both parent and their children alike, but “I pay the bills and give you food” should not be shown as a privilege, because that’s really the bare minimum.
But strict is ussually the path that's leads to abuse. And abusive parents would say that they're strict as if that justifies their actions! The same with free range. But free range is more Young so we will see if it also does the same.
You can be free ranged and strict. These parents need a balance. Edit: looking back at this now which was 2 years ago I can't believe I wrote "free ranged" lmaooo they are not chickens I bawl yes. So yeah a balance.
It has a reason why God gaved us parents. The child isnt supposed to raise itself. People always seems to form different concepts and often lose themselves in it.
Don’t control your kids, but set boundaries and limits. Let them have some freedom but show them their actions have consequences and let them grow. There. Look after them, don’t smother them. Guide them, not ruin them.
Bart Lyson27 My dad was physically violent towards me as a child. It hurt our relationship tremendously, and are emotional scars I’m still recovering from. He said he deeply regrets hurting me, and has vowed to never treat my younger siblings that way, and he’s stayed true to his word. Violence doesn’t just hurt the victim, it hurts the perpetrator. My dad can attest to that. I hope you find love within yourself and realize that we are, in fact, all human beings worthy of this love, and that we deserve to be shown empathy and kindness, especially when we are vulnerable as children.
i agree along with Lenore 🤷🏻♂️ except the subway at 9 experience i think that was an experiment... to be fair though i got lost at an aquarium at 7 years old and responsibly walked to a security guard and asked to use his phone to dial my mom... im a free range child 😌
Lol imagine thinking you could possibly make the determination that any of these people are terrible parents based on this 19 minute video . We know nothing about how their kids actually turned out. You may disagree with the style of parenting but calling them horrible parents is wild.
Stephanie Engle I always got “because I’m the mom and you’re the little girl so what I say goes” any time I questioned anything. Now as an adult I sometimes fear questioning things because I grew up feeling my thoughts weren’t valuable and I should never question authority.
my parents have told me that they’re the adult and i’m the child so my opinion doesn’t matter and i should just keep my mouth shut. what do they think that’s doing to me in the long term? what if i’m in an abusive relationship, should i just keep my mouth shut bc that’s how i was raised?
Stephanie Engle whenever I try and speak my side of the story they cut me off and say don’t talk back but I’m trying to voice my opinion and side of the story and now whenever anyone confronts me about something I start to cry because whenever I did something that my parents yelled about I would get scared because I thought they would yell or hit me, sometimes even when I try and voice my opinion or I’m not doing something the way my mom planned she says I want to strangle you right now and she wonders why I never admit to something or why I want to go to friends houses all the time
But would that really be too different? Once again, even in the video people from both sides of the question have said they had spanked their kids, only difference was either it happened at some point or is it an active punishment.
There is so much grey area here, neither extremes work - being too strict will lead to hiding, lying, manipulation, etc… being too passive will lead to kids with no guidance or boundaries. I love that Christian talks about it all being one giant experiment and that’s so true. The most important thing is to own up to any mistakes you feel you made and repair with your kid later on. As we get older, we start to see our parents as fallible humans who mess up sometimes but it’s the repair that we’re all looking for as adults - we just want to hear an “I’m sorry” or “Yeah I wish I had handled that differently with you” from our parents and so much healing can come from that. We can’t control whether our parents will ever give us that closure, but we can choose to take those difficult steps of swallowing our pride and being intentional with our own kids. Take the pressure off of yourself of needing to be a “perfect” parent and let yourself make mistakes when you know you’re making what feels like the best choice in the moment and if it turns out later on that it wasn’t, you know that you did your best and you can admit your faults. As your child grows up, they will come to understand your decisions and respect you more and learn that it’s okay for them to make mistakes in life too, especially if they go on to have kids themselves. Repair, repair, repair.
Parents shouldn’t be friends nor dictators. They should be a mentor that help them grow and let them be free to make their own choices but tell them your life story
H A D A S S A Some parents are just children that came in the other and deserve no revery. A child’s respect of their parents should be largely earned as well. You cannot just demand respect from your children, sometimes they will jump out of line and it’s ok to pull them straight in such cases, but a good parent has earned their children’s respect.
Whew!! I don’t want to be on the free-range parent side but I can’t help but choose the strict parent side. At this point it’s always about RESPECT!! I was raised that children earn respect and should automatically give it to their elders💯 I’ll be a neutral parent. My parents are very strict and it does affect me mentally. But they also set standards and made sure I was set and grounded in my education. They are my parents and not my friend.
H A D A S S A some parents are insanely strict that teach children more about fear rather than actual lessons. and other parents let their child do whatever they want without ever teaching them right from wrong. to be a good parent you have to be in balance with both, which is what the OG commenter was talkin about
Exactly, a four year old wouldn't u derstand why they shouldn't jump on the stairs, so they have to have more rules, and when those rules stick with them when they grow up they wouldn't need as much punnishing...
The key is moderation. Too strict and the child will resent you and lash out elsewhere. Too lenient and the child will lack discipline and will expect freedom where freedom is not due.
potentially. free-range children that is taught right can actually see the freedom given as a responsibility. It's not like Free-Range means the kid gets everything they want and that mommy just lets her kids walk all over her, no. It's about having an open, free-learning experience with a lot of freetime for the kid to do things themselves when appropriate for the age. you don't send a 4 year old with the metro by themselves because they aren't mature enough for such a thing, even Free-Range Parents know this.
@@kinagrill I totally agree with how the mindset should be seeing freedom as a form of responsibility however, I still advocate a degree of strict and guidance because there are moments in life where you will be given a "No" with no reason behind. To an extent, it helps form a level headedness and resilience when things don't go your way. As well, the issue with free range parenting is sometimes the lack of strict rules in ones' life can involve arrogant teenagers who do everything trying to force themself into an identity rather than taking the time to ask and reflect onto themselves: Why are regulations important, what kind of wisdom can I gain from being controlled. Etc. Not to say that I heart fully agree with Strict parenting. As I have been on that side and shamefully enough have grown to fear and resent my parents at some point in my life. On the down side to strict parenting, it could often make the child fearful of failures and avoid opportunities developing this sense of insecurity and frustration to both themselves and the world around them.
I am 22 now, started education at university still living with my mom. My mom used to hit me as a child, and was never warm or “friendly“ to me, also didn’t believe in privacy. My dad on the other hand would talk to be about real life issues and was open with me. I resent my mother and deeply struggle with having a conversation with her. I wish she was more of a friend for me, especially immigrating to Canada having nobody. Her parenting style has shown in how I am socially and emotionally (depression, anxiety, and anger) and I’m working everyday to heal from past experiences with her
Just bc he’s not free ranges doesn’t mean he’s strick…he is just a descent parent trying their best…and I loved how he said spanking won’t work with his son specifically it showed me that he is trying to adapt to his son’s need instead of being the other way around
The best parents are the ones who stepped forward for "I worry that I am raising my child wrong" these are the ones who are perceptive and not obstinate. If you don't worry about being wrong chances are you aren't right
Yeah its concerning if you dont evaluate yourself and realise that there's probably more you could do. For everyone, there's always room for improvement, but you're never going to get things perfect when parenting
Personally I was shocked, because it kind of means they are not sure if what they are doing is right for their childs, which scare me a bit. Don't get me wrong, I am all for the fact that sometimes we need to examine ourselves and try to improve our ways by reflecting about how we behave. But not being sure if what we believe (and eventually end-up doing) is the right thing or not... it's kind of saying "I might hit a wall, but I'm still gonna drive that way." I know it may sounds silly. Alright, let me try to be clear... extremes are bad (most of the time), so if I have to choose my ground, I would say a balance of free-range and being strict is the best. My reasoning behind it is pretty simple; sometimes you may have to be strict with your child if he is harming other children or himself. On the other hand, sometimes the best approach is being compassionnate and understanding, and giving more freedom to your kids will empower them and help them being more confident. Ultimately, the most important is to love them.
Being too strict is not the answer because when your too strict when your child turns 18 they’ll be out running loose like a goose. Trust me I’m 19 and I’ve seen it happen.
I got wild at the age 15, and I didn’t calm down until I turned 21 I got myself pregnant. I still have a wild strict here and there but I try not to go to crazy
This is the case in India. Parents are so strict with their kids that by the time their parents think that they are ready to live abroad and will be a good child, they see the freedom foreigners have and immediately start living a care free life...
I know, they think if you raise your kid strictly, then they will keep making "good" decisions that you want them to make. That is not how it is. If you raise them to have no freedom, they are going to want freedom. When they are older they will do what they want.
Anyone who was raised from a cage will always find a way to get out. You will learn to do things secretly. You'll be the perfect kid in front of everyone but a skillful mischievous kid behind wether you like or not, because you were raised from a stressful environment where they give no choice but to follow strict rules.
I agree completely.. I'm only fourteen and if I'm being completely honest , I feel I'm much more mature than I'd like to be. I was raised and am still being raised in an environment where ' talking ' is barely anything , and if you are spoken to , it's with aggression in which makes you feel a much similar feeling to how the beatings would as it affects you internally.. Especially because of my language , which is very much.. How do I describe it? I find my language to be very bold and aggressive and so when you speak it with aggression that's another form of aggressiveness. Everyone around me but my own mother describes me as being the quiet , golden child that barely if at all leaves her home , and for the most part , I'm golden because I have to be , not because I want to be.. There's a difference.. I am the sneakiest person you will meet , I hide things like no other , you wouldn't even know it was hidden.. I'm not proud of it , but it's almost like adapting to an environment , I do it for my own survival.
I hate the whole ‘I feed you, I clothe you, I house you’ guilt tripping argument. Like you CHOSE to have a child so congratulations on obeying the bare minimum of law that exists to legally have a child.
Jeez, just cuz its expected of em by law doesn't mean to take it for granted, cuz it isn't, if the kid is starved and neglected 9/10 the kid gets taken away and parents get no consequences, so unless you have an Asian tiger mom that makes u do violin 4hours+ and maths 3hours+ don't complain about them mentioning you should show a little gratitude through your actions, its just cringey entitlement, Yikes.
@@faux4780 no one takes it for granted, parents just expect us to bow down to them for giving us things, instead of getting mad at the tiniest things and using the excuse of “I own the house” or “you can leave if you don’t like it” why not consider your children have emotions and try to better yourself as a parent
@@joestarballz6296 lol how old are you mate im 19 its called coming to an understanding with your parents, be a better kid, dont be a twat and fuck up something YOU didnt pay for, either your parents made rules up as they went along and used it as a "cuz i said so" type thing or your entitled af tbh
@@angeltripper8518 opposite to what my point was, what im tryna say is im closer to a kid than an adult and yous are having child-like reactions to a valid point.
i feel like being too strict is just bad, your kids will just hide everything from you but being too free range is just bad when ur kids can do whatever they want i feel like in the middle is best. lol my mum is like in the middle and i trust her
hayat x literally all the kids in my grade (around 60 kids) with strict parents are the ones who end up becoming addicts, criminals and straight up loners (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, unless it takes a toll on their mental health as I have seen). I agree with you.
I was pissed and shocked when two of them disagreed with their children having privacy... privacy is one of the best things in my life and if I would have been raised without it I wouldn't be the person I am now... it's like your personal safe place is taken away from you
that's the one thing i dislike about my strict parents. they do random phone checks and because of that, i can really speak my mind online. my parents lectured me about how dating in high school is bad and all even though the only convo i have had with my friends are about timothee chalamet and harry styles
I don’t want to be a strict nor a free range parent, I want to be somewhere in the middle, I’ll never spank my kids but will discipline them well. I feel since I was raised by an overly religiously strict parent it hurts me to do the same thing to my child.
"There's no privacy because you don't pay bills." Saying that to a child who cannot in any way actually pay any bills is sabotaging them and is disgusting. Children deserve privacy.
@Blank Mane idk people are different, child me just ended up feeling bad for having to rely on my parents for anything because that meant they could do whatever to me cause "you don't pay the bills, and you live in my house. Your thoughts are invalid!" Really just made me feel ashamed for needing help.
What she said was so absurd. Children must live everything according to their stages, I had to live things that an adult had to. Going through that as a kid hurt me because of my age and especially because of my maturity. I remmeber i felt so alone, sad and confused y couldnt enjoy things like other kids would. A child must learn, enjoy and explore without having the burden of being or act as an adult from a young age 🥺 we can't expect them to act all mature
@@safkasimanofficial1190 yes I am going to illegally get a job, pay for a house, drive a car... etc. You do realize that this only applies to emancipated kids and kids 18+ who are financially and mental ready to fend for themselves, right?
@@safkasimanofficial1190 no kid asked to be born tho. Why would parents complain about their kids owe-ing them something when most parents literally wanted to have children that’s literally on them
from my experience as a daughter of strict parents, i am 18 now and i still fear my parents. when i’m in my room, i am able to recognize who’s footstep is coming up the stairs and which room they’re going to go to. living under such harsh rules and being restricted to join sports or clubs, really only made me curious abt it as a kid. i became sneaky and secretive. my mom asked me why i wouldn’t show her my tik toks or instagram. it’s not because i am doing bad things, but because it’s my safe place. if i cannot have it in the home i am in, i have it digitally. i talk about how i feel on there and knowing my mom, she would always have something to say about it. she yelled a lot and inflict and project her trauma and opinion too harshly on me when i was younger. parents have to realize kids will have different opinions throughout life and can still respect theirs. so yelling and never having privacy growing up only pushed me away from opening up to my parents. even til now, when she raises her voice at me, my eyes tear up. i still ask if i can go out with my friends even though i’m adult. i don’t tell them anything abt my dating life bc the second they find out i’m interested in someone, they take my freedom of going out away. i’ve been really sheltered my whole life and have had decisions made FOR me. so when i did hit 18, i honestly didn’t know what to do. i didn’t develop much of a critical thinking skill, as well as thinking for myself and what i want.
honestly strict asian (or of any ethnicity) parents need to realize that they impact their children’s mental health enormously through their parenting. it sucks as i know what it feels like.
You’re right. It’s not. I don’t want my child to fear me. I want them to make decisions based off what they know is the right thing to do and be able to come to me even when they don’t and make mistakes.
@@TheDipset1233 that’s why parents should handle it in a calmer approach, instead of the child fearing of being hurt it should be a talk and ways to figure out a solution together, depending on what happened.. and of course all actions of consequences
Many parents just let their kids stay in their rooms all day shut out from the world, then when they finally come out into the world they have no idea what to do. Some privacy is important but you also have to draw a line.
@@ahhhhhh124 it’s also all in the age too. As they get older they get more privacy. A 9 year old doesn’t need as much as a 17 year old. If that makes since
I teach kindergarten and have had multiple students become violent with others, and constantly hit their classmates. 100% of these children were spanked or hit at home. Do NOT spank your children. How am I as a teacher supposed to teach my students that hitting others is wrong if their parents hit them? It breaks my heart to see so many young children come to me complaining and crying about their parents and I not being able to do anything. Children grow more violent with more anger issues when hit or spanked. Researchers found that children who were physically disciplined (spanking, swatting, etc.) showed much more aggressive behaviors, thus leading to a greater likeliness of being spanked even more-this creates a vicious cycle that breeds children with anger issues. DO NOT have children if you cannot contain your anger.
jealousy may arise though like hearing that one kid who has it pretty tight like that father of 5 compared to like one of the free range kids. if they see someone their age or even younger having a more laid back lifestyle might cause some issues
My mum was "strict" growing up. I used to be one of those "but I turned out fine!!" people, until I realized that actually, I didn't. As the eldest of two kids I pretty much got all of the flack for everything, imo worse than the occasional smack was the constant insults. I couldn't confide in my parents or expect emotional support from them. As an adult I deal with mental illness, the way I was raised being one causal link. The outcomes obviously vary but I think there's an indisputable link between certain parenting techniques and how they can cause damage to a child. I think there needs to be better widespread understanding of the difference between "strict" discipline and abuse. Especially for those of us raised in ethnic families there's too many people that excuse behaviors that I would consider the latter as being the former.
He was the only one who seemed like a sane, balanced, reasonable parent. The others were extreme in being either permissive or authoritarian (too strict). Edit: Nyugen would fall into the Authoritative parent category, which is considered the healthiest.
The one mom who said their child can’t quit the violin once they start, I’ve been playing for almost 17 years. You have to love what you’re doing. If you don’t, it’s not worth it to keep playing. Music is about working hard and being an artist, but forcing it isn’t the way to go.
my mum used to play instruments but then she just quit and now she regrets it so its important to find the reason to quit and if they're going to regret it later
My son played piano when he was 5. At 11 he quiets because we can't find a teacher. At 15 he found apps on his cellphone, he picked up all his skills and even better. Because he likes to play modern songs than classic ones. He taught his sis to play too. My daughter plays even better because she is younger has more time to play.
@@thatsteampunkguy6528 I agree, Nguyen stopped spanking because it didn't work for his kid, but acknowledged it can work for others, and both him and the preacher seemed to have a good balance of parenting / friending in all the different avenues.
I had super strict parents and by my teenage years I had become a nightmare sneaking around them and able to lie very easily. I went through some hardships discovering the dark side of the world by myself. I wish I had been exposed to more with the assistance of my parents. Now I have stabilized as an adult but I realize there needs to be a middle ground
I missed middle ground. Honestly you need to have a balance of being strict and being free. Because it's important that kids develop independence but also know there are house rules that need to be followed and children need to learn respect. But also some parents also need to respect their kids as well.
💯 its good for them to learn on their own but if they come to you for permission for help or advice then you can guide them. But it depends on the situation. Have to have a healthy balance of strict and free so they can learn but you can also teach them. If your too strict then they lash out and become bad and if they are too free they become bad. Lol.
The Gunters Adopt I totally agree with you. And I’m also so happy that’s how my parents are. They are sorta free range parents but also strict. My parents have a perfect balance in my opinion.
When they asked the first guy what he thinks when he hears the term free range parents, my first thought was if I were him I would have answered “free range chickens”
I had a friend who wanted to quit piano lessons. His parents forced him to keep going saying no you can't quit. He later took his own life. He was being abused by the piano teacher. He even tried telling them. They called him a liar.
I can't imagine ever forcing my child (or any child) to go fouth with any activity they truly weren't enjoying. I think it's nice to find things you're kids do truly enjoy and to ask questions. They should always feel loved and supported!
all im gonna say is this : I don't want my kid to think "Oh no, something bad happened! I'm scared because of how mom is gonna react! And now I'm gonna keep it a secret from her!" I want my kid to have the mindset of "Oh no something bad happened, I have to call mom right now so she knows and can help me work out the problem!"
Same but I also feel like that they shouldn’t always have to have that mindset of “my mom will help me” because they get used to it and will always rely on their mom or someone else whenever something goes wrong or have a problem because it’s not gonna be good for them in the long run
@@rosamercado6896 Right. I wish my mom and I had more of a relationship along the lines of "I need help, I can't do this alone even though I tried, now I need my mom." But instead, because of how I've been raised so far, it's more of a "I can't tell her, because she'll lose it." It's a work in progress, but I wish the situation we have now hadn't been set up in the first place
I’m in the middle. I want my kid to feel like I can talk to you. But I don’t want him nor her to feel scared. I want respect. People associated fear with respect. But in actuality fear is love. If your grades are bad I won’t spank you because I understand the feeling of having bad grades and the pressure to keep them up. I do want them to go sneak out and do other bad stuff like joining gangs, because that shows he or she is not comfortable with you and wants to seek love. You need to have discussions with your kids a lot. But when you are messing up like in class all the time and your teacher calls me daily I have to spank you because it shows your not giving effort and you don’t care. And I know school is so controlling and manipulate you into something they want to do. But you have to talk. Children can’t feel scared to say I’m addicted to the bad videos sites and I’m trying to stop watching it or I do drugs but I don’t like it. And if they don’t feel open to talk that shows the character of you parenting skills. And people think that parents like hitting on their kids no they hate it. But it’s what they were taught and they have no other way because they couldn’t really talk to their mom nor dad. When I have kids I’m going to make sure I’m mentally, emotionally, and physically in tact with them. When you can here them out they can trust you and start opening up. When they do something really really bad than ok spank them. But if your child is scared to tell you the truth and is scared to talk rethink what your doing and talk to ur child
god i hate the “you don’t pay the bills so you don’t get anything” argument, my dad did that and it’s just a power trip. children have no way to pay the bills and shouldn’t have to, THEYRE CHILDREN. everyone is entitled to a CERTAIN level of privacy. of course as a parent you can have access to your kid’s phone. but saying they can’t keep their door closed or keep their phone in their room or they have to show you their phone 24/7 just develops more problems in kids than strengths.
I completely agree my parents always said that to me and my siblings and it pissed me off. That told me they didn't trust me and emotionally guilt-tripped me and my siblings by saying "you took our teen years away"(they had my oldest brother at 15) and "you don't pay bills" or "I feed you and you have a roof over your head" they didn't even let us close our doors at night and my baby sister would wak every day crying scared from the darkness outside of the door.
In South Africa we don't have the privilege of "Free-range" parenting. Human & Child trafficking is waaaay too high to not be strict to keep them safe. It's Terrible
Even though im not black and its not really my place to say, but id prefer to die instead of having to live a crippled life with no freedom.and then not grow to be a criplled adult and not prolly make something outta my life
Nguyen was the best dad yo. "It's not so much about teaching your kids, but learning with them." Love his humility.
Kristian Cloud that actually my dad, thanks for your comment.
Stop lying
Yup
He didn't come across as particularly strict to me - just moderate
Exactly
The guy in the yellow jacket seemed like the most well balanced. You can tell he puts a lot of value in his child's thoughts and emotions.
He was the best but I wish he would have talked more 😅
Son Child Not talking more can contribute to him being balanced
He was awesome
He was great 👏👏especially when they talked about spanking because his point was so introspective.
Nobody:
Christian: I am from a black community
Nguyen seems like a good dad. When he noticed his kid started hitting himself he took a step back and reevaluated his parenting technique. Not all parents are that self-aware
Agreed. He's a great father in my opinion. A lot of kids do that, hell. I started self harming at 7 and never stopped. I was in abusive relationships and situations from the way my parents raised me and am still in therapy to heal those wounds. Thankfully, my parents are trying to get better and attend group therapy. But by now the damage has been done. Even as an 8 year old I broke down and asked " how come it's only wrong when I hurt myself? Everyone else gets to hurt me, am I that much of a bother that you can only show me love by hitting me? " or " If you get to threaten to hit me all of the time, what's the difference between an abusive boyfriend doing it? It'd still be just hitting me because you don't like what I did" ect. These things really can and do affect kids and parents need to be more responsible and mindful of this.
I used to hit myself and sometimes still do when I get in so much trouble so I remember the pain so I won’t do that again
yeah, and that can even lead to self harm in the later future :/
@@kristall5928 My heart breaks reading what you've shared about your childhood trauma. I'm so sad to know you suffered so much. We carry such deeply embedded wounds. I pray this year brings you deep peace and freedom from the weight of psychological scars. You are worthy of it. Sending you oceans of love.
@@MyrnaDeJesus thank you so much. I really appreciate it. My parents are in therapy with me to learn how to do a better job and change, and I see a therapist weekly. I have a boyfriend who helps in ever way imaginable and has kept me alive through the hardest moments. I know I'll never be able to look back and say I had a good or normal childhood but I'm trying to push forward. It's hard, but possible
I really liked a lot of Nguyen's views on things. He does identify as more on the strict side but he also remains aware of how his children feel and listens to that, which is very important.
He also doesn't hit his child (he did before, but he corrected himself).
@@jendayameisner4501”he doesn’t hit his kid” “he remains aware of how his children feel”
well, both are the bare minimum. he doesn’t abuse his kids and at least acknowledges they are fellow humans.
it’s time to stop congratulating dads on doing the bare minimum. nguyen has a lot of room to grow as a parent.
@@kailey2coolI mean have u discovered the secret to raising kids?Are you prefect at it?
"The beauty of parenting is not what you're teaching your child but what you're learning with your child" - Nguyen
He's the perfect borderline of strict and free range. I would love to have him as a dad.
It's Nguyen, actually. A Vietnamese
Facts
@@BtwAlice oh oops srry
Nguyen was the only parent I really agreed with. He's not really strict or free range.
Bro his kid slapping himself almost made me cry for some reason
Yes
8:40 ,That got dark real quick...
The perfect parent
Yeah he is a good parent
Nguyen has found the perfect balance between being his child’s “friend” nd their parent. I want to be like him in terms of his parenting style
I'm pretty sure he had strick tigers parents. He understands that it's good to have rules but also not to the point where the child feels like a prisoner.
@@mesooofrugal bingooo!!!! i feel like most asians who are first gen (ie they had immigrant parents but grew up in the states themselves) are good at finding that balance between maintaining the goal-oriented, rule-based parenting they grew up with but not implementing the borderline trauma-inducing restrictions to freedom/self expression or the corporal punishment
YESS
This is the approach I take with my students (I'm a tutor, not a teacher). I'm not gonna be a dictator, but I'm also not their best friend. I'm their mentor, I'm there to teach them skills and be respected as a leader, but I'm also there to help them feel safe and have fun safely.
Jenny is the type of mom I would hate to meet on a plane. She comes off like she’d encourage her kids to be as disruptive and entitled as possible and think it’s cute
Same like why would you stop parenting after 18?And why your kid breaking an arm not concerning to you?I think she has just given up parenting.
@@shahhahajsjs3835FR. I was like omg she is so annoying
She gives off "I would let my child walk outside in public with no shoes on" vibes.
@@Aalijah_Matyevnayea I think a lot of “free range” parents are just lazy and don’t want to do the things most parents do for thier kids. Then label it as free range parenting when in reality it’s bordering neglectful.
@@shahhahajsjs3835 I don't hate on people who are generally correct. The african American mom was the only one I found particularly detestable in how strict she was.
"the beautiful thing about parenting is, it's not what you teaching your child, but sometimes what you learning with your child"
- Nguyen (2020)
He def got a follow
Honestly Nguyen's kids are gonna become amazing people imo, he's raising them exactly how I would, not too strict but not too free-range
um i live in asia, and some of these kids are massively spoiled and disrespectful.
Lee Melvin what are the parenting skills have been employed to the “some of these kids are massively spoiled and disrespectful”? You cant just generalize one parenting style on a whole continent. I bet you are not even sure if they received same parenting styles from others. I also live in Asia
He seems dope
yea but it’s weird that he calls himself a strict parent
Lee Melvin you’re probably talking about crazy rich SPOILED asians
THAT LADY SAID "I LET HER DRAW" LIKE ITS SOME CRAZY LAYED BACK PARENT THING
IKR 😂
Reddddd flag
wellmost of us like drawing
She was just saying that her daughter has a creative outlet she enjoys, chile
😭😭😭😭
“You don’t pay any bills you don’t have any privacy” does she not realize her daughter didn’t choose to be born & literally has no choice but to live with her mom. She can’t pay bills and you decided to have her that’s on you to pay for her. You don’t get to put it on her like she’s gonna owe you something later for it.
Yes! My parents would always use this to make me do things, and they would control me with it. They would act like all five of us children were such heavy burdens and we were causing all their financial problems, but they chose all five times to have s*x, conceive, give birth, and raise us. They made me do chores, and while they paid me for it to teach me responsibility, I had no choice in the matter, and you DO have a choice when getting a job. They would also "forget" to pay me most months, and when I was younger than ten I wasn't getting paid sh*t.
Exactly my thoughts on that, 😊
This was greatly stated, I totally agree!
@@jendayameisner4501 idk I dont think im ever getting paid for chores
Exactly. She lost all my respect when she said that.
There’s a difference between teaching a child to fear you and teaching a child to respect you.
IKR some parents yell and scream at their kids when their in trouble and if my parents did that I would be very much scared
Cuz it’s human to make mistakes but some parents don’t understand that
Lol my mom still dosent know about my 3 attempted suicides.
Oh no that’s so sad idk y she would wanna do that or make u feel that way and if u don’t mind answering how old r u??
yes
Nguyen is the perfect balance between strict and free range. That’s the kind of parent I would be.
Same here; next generation of asian parents here we come
I always hear nguyen in vietnamese names wtf
Yuri it’s a very common last name 🤗
OMG thanks for the likes
Same, I agreed with all he said.
I think Nguyen was the crowd favorite. He’s the only one that seemed to have a healthy balance between everything
And Jody
Being beaten for doing something wrong seriously fucked me up as an adult. I can’t talk about my abuse without bawling my eyes out because it affected my entire personality. I have no experience setting boundaries, I’m a perfectionist and people pleaser, and I have a really hard time expressing my emotions. If emotional enough, I’ll resort to violence because that’s how I grew up. Unlearning all of this has been the most difficult part of my life and I feel bad for that guys kids.
Showing violence toward those you love will never be the correct thing to do and I hope more parents see this and start thinking about how their actions affect their children
Yeah, they're only teaching their children violence and how to get away with things better when they do this.
I am sorry that happened to you 😢 I hope you are doing well in your life
Being beaten and spanked are very different
@@thatoneartist7719 I had a really abusive childhood. I wasn’t just spanked
@@thatoneartist7719being spanked is still psychologically harmful to children according to scientific studies
i think that even though he’s considered strict, Nguyen is the best parent there. Some of them take it too far with free range, and vice versa
Facts he wasn't too strict but didn't let his kid do whatever
Nguyen is the best parent there because he is the most balanced one you can't just let your kids do whatever they want they grow up spoiled and entitled that way however you can't control every aspect of your kids lives either as they will grow up too sheltered and resentful. Therefore there has to be a balance between both extremes
I here here to that I want to defeat be a middle point
we ethnic people are great at disciplining children
Okay why is his first name my last name tho
Nguyen is not a strict parent, nor a free range parent. He’s just a good parent, we need more people like him
hes like the only good one
Yeah
@@isylum1494 Yeah, the others are either too strict or too relaxed
Yes
bruh i wish he was my parent like why cant my mom just ukqgjsybdrfwhk6
”My daughter trusts me”.. You don’t know that. That’s what she makes you believe, whether it’s true or not.
Nattskog if you put a kid in that kind of environment they’re gonna say what other people want to hear and not what they actually feel
not necessarily. the way the parent develops the relationship can truly mean that the child really does trust them as their parent.
U could usually tell if ur child trusts u r not but if u wanna go there technically u never know if anyone trusts u because there is no way to know if someone is TRULY telling the truth
Nattskog facts
Nattskog they probably know their kid better than you do though.
Saying you want to stop being a mom when your kids turn 18 is one of the most toxic and dangerous things I've ever heard. I'm glad all the other parents sassed her about it lol
You can't win in parenting, and that's what scares me about being a father one day.
100% you never stop being a parent, it's a lifelong job and the best job in the world... most of the time 😂
The maturity level of the children should be taken into consideration...
They think we are animals they don't think that we are citizens we can't vote being forced to go school are be aresed its a concentration camp 10 over should be able to vote capitalism s. Fault
Bamburger YES! Exactly
True. I was very ‘mature’ as a child so I didn’t really need strict rules. I had no interest in acting out I just wanted to sing and watch Disney Chanel. Some children have different interest and curiosities some kids learn different.
Bamburger THANK YOU!!!
That's facts big man
The video should’ve ended when Nguyen said “Strict but emotionally conscious” he won🙂
Its not really about winning, its just a friendly debate
@@jennyzhang3411 people are too caught up in the idea that the sole purpose of an argument is to determine a winner, which defeats the purpose of a constructive argument.
@@jennyzhang3411 it's a joke but i agree with what your saying
I would rather my kids think “omg I really need to call mom for help” vs “omg mom can’t find out about this... I can’t call her or else she’ll get pissed”
I agree, there is a clear difference between being afraid of your parents and respecting your parents
Fr I'm so glad my mom is a free range parent.
!!
I wish I could like this comment a million times honestly.
the second quote is legit how i think 24/7
Too much freedom will make them spoiled and entitled, too much restrictions will make someone angry and rebellious
Exactly it's a fine line!
ACTUAL Freedoom and being lost are NOT the same things
LEARN IT
freedom will not make a kid spoiled and entitled. freedom doesn’t mean you don’t still teach your child.
Freedom doesn't make you spoilt, over indulging does. No wonder the world is messed up, if people don't have the skills to raise kids.
Being overly strict ruins your child and giving children way too much freedom also ruins them. You've got to find a point in between them.
Paradox 420 foh
@@AB-it8hd wtf are you saying?
Kenneth Boampong I think the Nguyen guy was a good in between and seemed to be the best parent in the panel
Adam Dol I was spanked as a kid don’t spank your kids or they might end up like me
...you could say that you need to find the.. *middle ground*
Honestly, Ngyuen seems to have the most balanced and healthy parenting style out of the group.
Yea
Yup
Nah Hal
@@corydelaney4775 dear lord no I'd honestly be really upset if he was my dad
Definitely
Ok now do an episode with kids of strict and free-range parents and let’s see how it affected them
Omg yesssss
!!!
pleaseeeee
‼️‼️‼️
Y E S
That's insane that she doesn't want to be a mom after her kids turn 18. Everyone needs a momma no matter what age, not just friends.
I think she means that she just doesn't want to have to look after them and have them living in her home when they should be out making a living for themselves if possible. Obviously she will still be there to give advice and care for them when she needs to but at the same time people need to grow up eventually. I feel like a lot of people keep taking her words and twisting them a lil bit and others are getting confused.
@@g0th1c_aj I think a lot of people are missing the fact that she doesn't want to be a mom. Everything she says is about her and what she wants, not her kids and what's best for them. She said, "I don't want to follow the rules, this should be fun." You know who else doesn't want to follow rules because they want to have fun? Children. Parts of parenting are fun. But parts of parenting are grueling. Parts of parenting are miserable. Parts of parenting are hard. It's like this for people who love their kids and care about the adults who they grow into. If the only aspect of parenting you want is the "fun" part, you're gonna raise worthless adults. It's ironic, because she clearly can't wait for them to leave, but with the way she's raising them to do anything they want so they can all just have "fun," they'll probably live and mooch off of her forever. She's a grown child and has no business being responsible for the life of another, and I don't think she has a single piece of valuable advice that she could instill on her kids even if she wanted to.
@@g0th1c_aj ngl the moment a child turns 18 is crazy. Especially if they are interested in college. Give them a few years more to get their career figured out and get a job before just expecting them to be independent immediately at 18.
Nguyen hit it right on the nose with "It's not always about what you're teaching your kid, but what you're learning along side them." amazingly said.
I want to be like Nguyen when I have kids. He’s sounds like he’s has rules but also remembers his kids are human and have thoughts and emotions of there own.
Their*
•bean• ppl who fail English just too go on youtube to correct ppl 😂
@@kpopandanimederp1786 to*
•bean• too*
rossieq1 that’s what i was thinking!
I really would like to see their kids together. I bet there’s a vast difference between their behaviors
Trisha Danielle that’ll be dope!
YES PLESSE
THEY SHOULD DO A LINEUP WITH THEIR KIDS MATCH THE KID TO PARENT
Omg yes
None of the strict parents would let them be on camera
Honestly, this book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ gave me the encouragement I needed to stay strong in raising my kids with Christian values, it’s comforting to know Im not alone on this journey
I think that someone can find a healthy balance between being strict when necessary but also being relaxed. It really depends on the type of person who they are raising.
It's called an authoritative parent
My parents found it and I find it quite peaceful.
One thing I noticed about being raised with a strict parent is that they have your back. Like if someone in class made you mad and you tell your parent they seem to want to fight for you more. They're that parent who would come to school and whoop that students or teachers @$$. That's one thing I like about strict parents. But free range parents seem like the type to support you emotionally like be more like a friend. I want a parent with a little bit of both a strong parent not a flimsy parent.
I can't agree with this enough, growing up my mom raised me and my older brother by herself till I was about twelve she meant my stepfather(who is my real father as far as I'm concerned) he was a marine and surprisingly he was a very free-ranged parent, and even tho my mom was strict she was also trying to keep us safe me and my brother turned out fine
that’s how my mom is
that thing Nguyen said about not listening to all the advice, because parenting is about LEARNING something with your child... straight up beautiful my man
only he was right in my opinion.
Yea man, its great parenting advice
@@shrujay4035 He was my favorite.
My dad would say that too 😂
He seemed like a really good dad. We need more parents like him in the world.
They should’ve brought a kid and ask them how they feel about their parents being free range or strict
re-do this video in 10 years with the kids of these people.....that'd be interesting
the kids of strict parents wouldve probably been too scared to speak up, or they just wouldve lied so they don't get in trouble
Well, I ain’t supposed to be watching this rn lol.
Oh yesss I’m doing my hw mom, and I don’t know where my phone is.....😅
@@eveninglyric687 why do you think kids with strict parents are scared of them? Being strict has nothing to do with scaring children but teaching them that there are rules in the house that they are to follow.
@@kattodoggo3868 I have strict parents 100%. I'm not scared of them, but moreso I'm worried that if they found out I was still friends with people they told me not to interact with, they'd take these people away from me. Said friends are the only people I can truly be honest with due to how they're willing to listen and will not immediately make me feel bad for a choice I made. At this point they feel more like family then my actual family. I can safely say that I do not think of my mom or my stepdad as friends or people who I would be okay with being around as an adult because of how strict they are, and how they often felt like they didn't care for me, or they wanted what was best for them. My mom has rules, and I didn't want to follow them because I wanted to, but because I legit felt like there was nothing else I could do.
that feeling when your parents tell you to your face “i dont believe you have rights because you’re a child” is… eye opening and terrifying
it truly is. not very helpful for the kid's self-esteem or self-worth - my own parents have said that to my face and don't believe it's wrong (somehow??)
@@robin_ru9376what rights you feel the child should have?
@gjjijji children already have rights. They need to be protected from adults from harm, psychologically, mentally and physically. They used to be stuffed up chimneys and forced into work. Children have it a little better now, but they have rights because naturally they are humans. Children aren't another species.
you guys should do “strict parents kids” and “free range parents kids”
m b WE MUST
YESS
Im going to be honest , that could either be REALLY messy or very productive. Im a teenager, the need for money and a job aside, i could productively adult lol , ya know on a baseline scale. But then again, i have friends who cant even wash there own close. Friends that are only children and dont know the importance of managing money. Yea im still a teen but i have the sense to begin preparing myself for the outside world, with the help of my parents. and i have friends that would completely disasgree lol. so yeah either way
not kids, college students that are living away from their parents, in their second year, I think you see the differences better then
I wanna hear this
Nguyen’s parenting seems like a good middle point.
I got the same feeling too.
yes! he was resonable
SOPHIA HENKEL yeah
SOPHIA HENKEL yeah
Didn't talk much but sure. Plus your right 'seems' . Tbh we never know what goes on beyond.
my mom isn’t “free range” but she’s not “strict” either. we have a healthy balance and I know what’s acceptable and what’s not
Me too
Same and to me I think it's better to have a parent who's a mix of free-range and strict.
Ava J. exactly
Same
same, i think my mom being that way allowed me to have a great relationship with her & not disrespect her wishes/rules, but also know that i’ll be supported in making my own (rational) decisions
as a new parent, I slowly realized that every kid is different and needs different rules. you just need to figure out one suitable way for you and your kids.
Nguyen is a great dad. He's the kind of dad I would want to be if I'm ever lucky enough to have kids.
MegaBullfrog09 ya
Same here. Seems like a great guy
So true
"there is no privacy" that makes me sick to my stomach knowing that some people actually think that's the right way to think about your children. They are human.
Exactlyy ugh
I grew up with parents who had that mindset and it was horrible. It made me intensely secretive and someone who lied often to their faces for fear of whatever little freedom I got myself being found and taken away. I felt like I was unable to really tell my parents anything, and constantly suffocated and trapped.
Facts like we’re people too even though we are kids we have feelings and deserve privacy.
They use that argument just to be all in your personal business because they're nosy and want to tell it to the whole world to make you feel bad for "Keeping things from them."
yeah my parents are like that,they said privacy is EARNED and “you’ll receive it when you get your own house,but if your living in my home then you’ll have none.”
As a child who has grown up with strict parents, let me tell you, I am INCREDIBLE at hiding ANYTHING, sneaking out, lying, acting, gaslighting. Absolutely incredible.
Strict parenting isnt synonymous with children living in fear and withholding information from their parents.
Parents are people too, and second hand trauma is REAL. Strict parenting or free range parenting wont solve someone's ability to be a nuturing parent. Being strict or free is simply a method, how ones parents communicate and treat a child is case by case.
I grew up strict too I can hide a dead body now and without breaking a sweat
My gaslighting on about 1,000,000
Victoria Harrison lol same dawg.
Mar Mar Nizhoni *cackles in asian*
If I had a parent like Hal, I would be suppressing all that hate deep inside. As soon as I’m able, I would leave this family and disassociate myself from them.
I have a parent like Hal. I love him with all my heart. I know he's made some mistakes, but I'm so glad I've had a parent like him, and not one who thought I should be deciding everything for myself and letting me get away with anything while I was still a child
As someone with a parent like Hal, 1000% confirm everything you said.
Why??? What is he doing that’s wrong?
Probably because he reads the bible or something lol. Can't judge based off a 19 minute video, many ignorant thoughts in this comment section.
They should have done this with their kids after so we could actually see the effectiveness of their parenting
Murtaza Badshah AMAZING IDEA
Should've done this with their kids right next to them.
DO THAT JUBILEE !!!!!
Thats a really good idea! To know if some of the kids dont like their parents for how they raised them
I don't like the idea of comparing children to each other
Now bring their kids or kids of strict and free range parents
Bonus: their parents listen to their perspective without interrupting
Edit: I’ve been getting comments about the safety of the child and I completely understand where it’s coming from so to modify my original statement maybe instead of using teens of strict parents we can use adults or people who are no longer living with their parents so they don’t have to fear for their safety once they go home after speaking the truth. That could be one solution, I’ll be happy to read others if you guys have any, I just hope that this idea comes to life because we’ve never really been able to see that perspective, you know? Thank you for the feedback ⭐️
Yes I absolutely agree with your idea! :)
please let this happennnnnn
ohnobro this!
It would be better if the parents could see them but the kids couldnt so they dont have the pressure of their parents staring them down and they can really say what they want
ohnobro put the parents in a different room so the children can speak openly and freely without feeling differently with their parents watching.
When parents say “you can tell me anything” what they actually mean is “you can tell me anything, as long as I agree with it”
They never said they would agree with what you said lol.
That's so true
@Selim Sultan Akbar lmao why did you need to write this
Selim Sultan Akbar How are they a cray entitled brat, if anything you’re the one making this about yourself.
Hahahaah, why is this so relatable?...Ahahah🤣
I relate to Jody so much, I never had parents and its so hard forever. It never stops being hard, tbh when I became an adult not having parents felt even harder. You face SO MANY things as an adult that would be so much easier or survivable if you had someone at your back that you can fall back on. Never having anyone that will just be there no matter what sucks. Never having anyone that will help you at your lowest is hard.
No one to ask for advice, no one that can help you, it's rough.
I’m sorry to hear that.
I always say this: “sometimes kids need a parents and sometimes they need a friend”
@@stephl4277 same
Ro
tbh i feel like a parent should have the traits of a friend like trustworthy and reliable, talks me and a good listener without being considered a friend at all
And some times they should be beaten up
Liam Middleton I hope you never have a child
you should be a gold parent , u are very solid and not fragile but u can also be melted and show ur child compassion and love
Would be interesting if children get involved in this conversation
Yesss they need to do this but they need to have parents that have kids that are like 13 and up
I have strict parents and it be so nice to see other people relate to me!
Im 13 and i would love to be in this conversation
@@HamDerMikail Same
Children are children that need to be parented💯 Some children can get carried away when they have freedom
Nguyen’s parenting is just as right, not too strict and not too free range.
yeah i loved how that he was the middle ground parent and was quite respectful and sought for the best of both worlds
I would have loved to have him as a parent
Right lol the bill thing is Ridiculous
I love that. That’s exactly how my parents parent me and I believe all parents should be like that.
Yes he’s not an Authoritative parent or a Permissive parent he’s a Democratic Parent which is right in the middle of Authoritarian and Permissive and I honestly believe that’s the best parenting style there is.
"I will never give up growing myself" - A beautiful statement coming from a mother who is willing to adapt to change to raise her child in the best way. As someone who has witnessed over and over again how a refusal to change has ended up having both my mother and brother grow distant from one another because of giving up on change. It's nice to hear that as we grow up constantly knowing new information and that when it ever comes to raising my own children if I'm ever that lucky I'll be able to meet them halfway. To change my own viewpoints/actions/lifestyle so long as it meant they grow up to be accepted as they are, loved, respectable, open-minded and kind individuals. As a society that is in constant evolving conflict I hope that as parents or say leaders of youth we're doing our best to prepare a future where harmony and or balance can be found amongst all social types or in this case a middle ground for future generations ever after.
being too strict is not healthy, but being too free range is also very problematic for the child.
I agree! Growing up my parents were always in the middle, like they were pretty free ranged most of the time, but were strict when needed to be.
Hannah Nerd facts my parents are just right
Amalia Arregui i mean as long as u aren’t just letting your kids do whatever they want no matter what that is, i think free range parenting is probably pretty good for a child
ur nine
The Cousins hahaha and what’s the issue?? they are affected by how parents act so they have an opinion. stop being annoying
Parents who say I pay the bills and bring food on the table, that is something you are SUPPOSED to do that as a parent
Exactly
It’s you’re job to provide for a kid that can’t provide for itself
Paying bills, feeding them and putting a roof over their head is the bare minimum.
Totally! My parents took care of me when I was small and I will take care of them when they're old
@Claire Marlowe You should always expect respect from your children as long as you instill those values in them. I’m sure that’s common sense for both parent and their children alike, but “I pay the bills and give you food” should not be shown as a privilege, because that’s really the bare minimum.
There is a difference between being strict and abusive. Same with ‘free range’ and neglectful.
Mine was both strict and abusive
@@wolfdontcare3980 same
@@wolfdontcare3980 same
EXACTLY
But strict is ussually the path that's leads to abuse. And abusive parents would say that they're strict as if that justifies their actions! The same with free range. But free range is more Young so we will see if it also does the same.
What's best in parenting is having a little bit of both, you should never be TOO strict but also never TOO lenient. You should be in the middle :)
This comment is completely underrated.
I agree with you on this.
You can be free ranged and strict. These parents need a balance.
Edit: looking back at this now which was 2 years ago I can't believe I wrote "free ranged" lmaooo they are not chickens I bawl yes. So yeah a balance.
exactly, howabout parents just do a mix of both
It has a reason why God gaved us parents. The child isnt supposed to raise itself. People always seems to form different concepts and often lose themselves in it.
Exactly
@@sushi6895 look i'm not religious myself but there's no need to mock people who do if they're not hurting anyone
AS yes god
Don’t control your kids, but set boundaries and limits. Let them have some freedom but show them their actions have consequences and let them grow. There. Look after them, don’t smother them. Guide them, not ruin them.
And belt them if they break the boundaries❤
Bart Lyson27
My dad was physically violent towards me as a child. It hurt our relationship tremendously, and are emotional scars I’m still recovering from. He said he deeply regrets hurting me, and has vowed to never treat my younger siblings that way, and he’s stayed true to his word.
Violence doesn’t just hurt the victim, it hurts the perpetrator. My dad can attest to that. I hope you find love within yourself and realize that we are, in fact, all human beings worthy of this love, and that we deserve to be shown empathy and kindness, especially when we are vulnerable as children.
I don't agree. I agree that give advice let them think make decisions.
don demarcoo
Show disappointed not anger
Nguyen is the perfect balance of strict and free range
I think the same!
Absolutely, I found myself agreeing with him the most
@@aziul8 same
Lara BIankin fr that’s exactly how i want to be
i agree along with Lenore 🤷🏻♂️ except the subway at 9 experience i think that was an experiment... to be fair though i got lost at an aquarium at 7 years old and responsibly walked to a security guard and asked to use his phone to dial my mom... im a free range child 😌
Hal and Jenny are examples that both strict and free range parents can be horrible parents.
Lol imagine thinking you could possibly make the determination that any of these people are terrible parents based on this 19 minute video . We know nothing about how their kids actually turned out.
You may disagree with the style of parenting but calling them horrible parents is wild.
@Toadeater I disagree
Yup
Yes!!!!!
What was horrible about Hal and Jenny? I agree with one of those, I’m just curious as to your reasoning.
"because im the parent and youre the child" -my parents every time i voice my opinion
Stephanie Engle I always got “because I’m the mom and you’re the little girl so what I say goes” any time I questioned anything. Now as an adult I sometimes fear questioning things because I grew up feeling my thoughts weren’t valuable and I should never question authority.
That's such a weak statement from parents. I hate it so much.
Ugh I hate that sm, every time I ask my mom “why?” She will get mad and tell me that
my parents have told me that they’re the adult and i’m the child so my opinion doesn’t matter and i should just keep my mouth shut. what do they think that’s doing to me in the long term? what if i’m in an abusive relationship, should i just keep my mouth shut bc that’s how i was raised?
Stephanie Engle whenever I try and speak my side of the story they cut me off and say don’t talk back but I’m trying to voice my opinion and side of the story and now whenever anyone confronts me about something I start to cry because whenever I did something that my parents yelled about I would get scared because I thought they would yell or hit me, sometimes even when I try and voice my opinion or I’m not doing something the way my mom planned she says I want to strangle you right now and she wonders why I never admit to something or why I want to go to friends houses all the time
i will never understand when parents say “they don’t pay the bills” like yeah?? maybe because they are a CHILD who you CHOSE to have??
Yes exactly! Said perfectly
Probably because it was a mistake that may be a reason
@@sylok567 well mistake of not you shouldn’t expect your child to pay for things just because you provide basic needs for them
eXACTLY. they literally CANT pay bills. but they have their own lives. ugh parents like her are so toxic. like mine.
dudes in sexist cultures use this line too. don't let their wives get jobs, and then are like "I PAY FOR EVERYTHING, SO IT'S MY RULES!"
Please do “adults that were spanked as children, and adults who weren’t”
Turkey Sings omg yes
But would that really be too different? Once again, even in the video people from both sides of the question have said they had spanked their kids, only difference was either it happened at some point or is it an active punishment.
Good one indeed
That will never happen 😂😭
Brilliant
There is so much grey area here, neither extremes work - being too strict will lead to hiding, lying, manipulation, etc… being too passive will lead to kids with no guidance or boundaries. I love that Christian talks about it all being one giant experiment and that’s so true. The most important thing is to own up to any mistakes you feel you made and repair with your kid later on. As we get older, we start to see our parents as fallible humans who mess up sometimes but it’s the repair that we’re all looking for as adults - we just want to hear an “I’m sorry” or “Yeah I wish I had handled that differently with you” from our parents and so much healing can come from that. We can’t control whether our parents will ever give us that closure, but we can choose to take those difficult steps of swallowing our pride and being intentional with our own kids. Take the pressure off of yourself of needing to be a “perfect” parent and let yourself make mistakes when you know you’re making what feels like the best choice in the moment and if it turns out later on that it wasn’t, you know that you did your best and you can admit your faults. As your child grows up, they will come to understand your decisions and respect you more and learn that it’s okay for them to make mistakes in life too, especially if they go on to have kids themselves. Repair, repair, repair.
Parents shouldn’t be friends nor dictators. They should be a mentor that help them grow and let them be free to make their own choices but tell them your life story
👏PREACH👏
I think the Nguyen dude fits that perfectly
H A D A S S A Some parents are just children that came in the other and deserve no revery.
A child’s respect of their parents should be largely earned as well. You cannot just demand respect from your children, sometimes they will jump out of line and it’s ok to pull them straight in such cases, but a good parent has earned their children’s respect.
Whew!! I don’t want to be on the free-range parent side but I can’t help but choose the strict parent side. At this point it’s always about RESPECT!!
I was raised that children earn respect and should automatically give it to their elders💯
I’ll be a neutral parent. My parents are very strict and it does affect me mentally.
But they also set standards and made sure I was set and grounded in my education.
They are my parents and not my friend.
H A D A S S A some parents are insanely strict that teach children more about fear rather than actual lessons. and other parents let their child do whatever they want without ever teaching them right from wrong. to be a good parent you have to be in balance with both, which is what the OG commenter was talkin about
The level of strictness depends on the kids age &’ their maturity.
Exactly, a four year old wouldn't u derstand why they shouldn't jump on the stairs, so they have to have more rules, and when those rules stick with them when they grow up they wouldn't need as much punnishing...
Well said
I believe that completely
True. Could go for the parents as well.
I agree, that’s how I was raised at least
The key is moderation. Too strict and the child will resent you and lash out elsewhere. Too lenient and the child will lack discipline and will expect freedom where freedom is not due.
well said
potentially. free-range children that is taught right can actually see the freedom given as a responsibility. It's not like Free-Range means the kid gets everything they want and that mommy just lets her kids walk all over her, no. It's about having an open, free-learning experience with a lot of freetime for the kid to do things themselves when appropriate for the age. you don't send a 4 year old with the metro by themselves because they aren't mature enough for such a thing, even Free-Range Parents know this.
@@kinagrill I totally agree with how the mindset should be seeing freedom as a form of responsibility however, I still advocate a degree of strict and guidance because there are moments in life where you will be given a "No" with no reason behind. To an extent, it helps form a level headedness and resilience when things don't go your way. As well, the issue with free range parenting is sometimes the lack of strict rules in ones' life can involve arrogant teenagers who do everything trying to force themself into an identity rather than taking the time to ask and reflect onto themselves: Why are regulations important, what kind of wisdom can I gain from being controlled. Etc. Not to say that I heart fully agree with Strict parenting. As I have been on that side and shamefully enough have grown to fear and resent my parents at some point in my life. On the down side to strict parenting, it could often make the child fearful of failures and avoid opportunities developing this sense of insecurity and frustration to both themselves and the world around them.
Agree 100%!
I am 22 now, started education at university still living with my mom. My mom used to hit me as a child, and was never warm or “friendly“ to me, also didn’t believe in privacy. My dad on the other hand would talk to be about real life issues and was open with me. I resent my mother and deeply struggle with having a conversation with her. I wish she was more of a friend for me, especially immigrating to Canada having nobody. Her parenting style has shown in how I am socially and emotionally (depression, anxiety, and anger) and I’m working everyday to heal from past experiences with her
Feel u
Im grateful for my dad spaking me but it wasnt like your mom im sorry you had to go through that i pray you heal from the things youre dealing with
Nguyen is the nicest strict parent I've ever seen
I loved him :)
he was my favourite “strict” parent, honestly i think my parents are like him, but they wouldnt be considered “strict” yk??
He's not even strict lol He's just a balanced parent.
Just bc he’s not free ranges doesn’t mean he’s strick…he is just a descent parent trying their best…and I loved how he said spanking won’t work with his son specifically it showed me that he is trying to adapt to his son’s need instead of being the other way around
Is he even a strict parent ? Everything he said was so far from strict parents usual speech
The best parents are the ones who stepped forward for "I worry that I am raising my child wrong" these are the ones who are perceptive and not obstinate. If you don't worry about being wrong chances are you aren't right
Yeah its concerning if you dont evaluate yourself and realise that there's probably more you could do. For everyone, there's always room for improvement, but you're never going to get things perfect when parenting
It's the only way I learned...
Personally I was shocked, because it kind of means they are not sure if what they are doing is right for their childs, which scare me a bit.
Don't get me wrong, I am all for the fact that sometimes we need to examine ourselves and try to improve our ways by reflecting about how we behave.
But not being sure if what we believe (and eventually end-up doing) is the right thing or not... it's kind of saying "I might hit a wall, but I'm still gonna drive that way."
I know it may sounds silly. Alright, let me try to be clear... extremes are bad (most of the time), so if I have to choose my ground, I would say a balance of free-range and being strict is the best.
My reasoning behind it is pretty simple; sometimes you may have to be strict with your child if he is harming other children or himself. On the other hand, sometimes the best approach is being compassionnate and understanding, and giving more freedom to your kids will empower them and help them being more confident.
Ultimately, the most important is to love them.
Ya, especially the white guy who whips his kids
"If you don't worry about being wrong chances are you aren't right" damn that's a good quote.
Being too strict is not the answer because when your too strict when your child turns 18 they’ll be out running loose like a goose. Trust me I’m 19 and I’ve seen it happen.
greatly said.
Adiyah Crenshaw exactly. You can be strict yet give your child freedom and privacy at the right times!
I got wild at the age 15, and I didn’t calm down until I turned 21 I got myself pregnant. I still have a wild strict here and there but I try not to go to crazy
This is the case in India. Parents are so strict with their kids that by the time their parents think that they are ready to live abroad and will be a good child, they see the freedom foreigners have and immediately start living a care free life...
I know, they think if you raise your kid strictly, then they will keep making "good" decisions that you want them to make. That is not how it is. If you raise them to have no freedom, they are going to want freedom. When they are older they will do what they want.
Anyone who was raised from a cage will always find a way to get out. You will learn to do things secretly. You'll be the perfect kid in front of everyone but a skillful mischievous kid behind wether you like or not, because you were raised from a stressful environment where they give no choice but to follow strict rules.
Yep.
I agree completely.. I'm only fourteen and if I'm being completely honest , I feel I'm much more mature than I'd like to be. I was raised and am still being raised in an environment where ' talking ' is barely anything , and if you are spoken to , it's with aggression in which makes you feel a much similar feeling to how the beatings would as it affects you internally.. Especially because of my language , which is very much.. How do I describe it? I find my language to be very bold and aggressive and so when you speak it with aggression that's another form of aggressiveness. Everyone around me but my own mother describes me as being the quiet , golden child that barely if at all leaves her home , and for the most part , I'm golden because I have to be , not because I want to be.. There's a difference.. I am the sneakiest person you will meet , I hide things like no other , you wouldn't even know it was hidden.. I'm not proud of it , but it's almost like adapting to an environment , I do it for my own survival.
Sure but that teaches you that there are consequences for your actions. It's kept me out of jail at least.
This is not entirely true. It’s hard, but it is possible, for a child to overcome this.
Maybe it’s easier for the parent to change their behaviour but children learn faster than adults so it depends.
I hate the whole ‘I feed you, I clothe you, I house you’ guilt tripping argument. Like you CHOSE to have a child so congratulations on obeying the bare minimum of law that exists to legally have a child.
Jeez, just cuz its expected of em by law doesn't mean to take it for granted, cuz it isn't, if the kid is starved and neglected 9/10 the kid gets taken away and parents get no consequences, so unless you have an Asian tiger mom that makes u do violin 4hours+ and maths 3hours+ don't complain about them mentioning you should show a little gratitude through your actions, its just cringey entitlement, Yikes.
@@faux4780 no one takes it for granted, parents just expect us to bow down to them for giving us things, instead of getting mad at the tiniest things and using the excuse of “I own the house” or “you can leave if you don’t like it” why not consider your children have emotions and try to better yourself as a parent
@@joestarballz6296 lol how old are you mate im 19 its called coming to an understanding with your parents, be a better kid, dont be a twat and fuck up something YOU didnt pay for, either your parents made rules up as they went along and used it as a "cuz i said so" type thing or your entitled af tbh
@@faux4780 oooh 19 look everyone we got an adult here. See? No one cares
@@angeltripper8518 opposite to what my point was, what im tryna say is im closer to a kid than an adult and yous are having child-like reactions to a valid point.
i feel like being too strict is just bad, your kids will just hide everything from you but being too free range is just bad when ur kids can do whatever they want i feel like in the middle is best. lol my mum is like in the middle and i trust her
hayat x // yeah !! Too far either side is bad, which is why parenting is so hard
true, im the 1st half
hayat x literally all the kids in my grade (around 60 kids) with strict parents are the ones who end up becoming addicts, criminals and straight up loners (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, unless it takes a toll on their mental health as I have seen). I agree with you.
k such becoming an addict is not a bad thing?
Robin Vigilante i mean if it's to drugs then-
I was pissed and shocked when two of them disagreed with their children having privacy... privacy is one of the best things in my life and if I would have been raised without it I wouldn't be the person I am now... it's like your personal safe place is taken away from you
candle boy yep and like me if you don’t have it then ... life sucks
Your kids will seriously resent you if you parent without some privacy... It's called enmeshment and it causes trauma and attachment issues.
@@LuminousWhispers11 it's all about balance
that's the one thing i dislike about my strict parents. they do random phone checks and because of that, i can really speak my mind online. my parents lectured me about how dating in high school is bad and all even though the only convo i have had with my friends are about timothee chalamet and harry styles
sylvia_ ishanee dating in high school actually is pretty messed lol. (unless you’re a senior, it’s better to date when you’re 18)
I don’t want to be a strict nor a free range parent, I want to be somewhere in the middle, I’ll never spank my kids but will discipline them well. I feel since I was raised by an overly religiously strict parent it hurts me to do the same thing to my child.
"There's no privacy because you don't pay bills." Saying that to a child who cannot in any way actually pay any bills is sabotaging them and is disgusting. Children deserve privacy.
@Blank Mane idk people are different, child me just ended up feeling bad for having to rely on my parents for anything because that meant they could do whatever to me cause "you don't pay the bills, and you live in my house. Your thoughts are invalid!" Really just made me feel ashamed for needing help.
Like how is a seven year old supposed to earn money and pay the bills. And then saying they can’t have privacy because of it.
What she said was so absurd. Children must live everything according to their stages, I had to live things that an adult had to. Going through that as a kid hurt me because of my age and especially because of my maturity. I remmeber i felt so alone, sad and confused y couldnt enjoy things like other kids would. A child must learn, enjoy and explore without having the burden of being or act as an adult from a young age 🥺 we can't expect them to act all mature
What does bills and privacy have in common
Well said. I mean its funny how some people think lol shes your child and your responsabality how is she supposed to pay the bills😂
if y’all ever do a “strict parent kids vs “free-range kids” episode, give me a call!!
Girl yes same here, sign me up
In case that happend ring me a bell
Me too I’d love to come on
In case that happend, ring me a bell X2
SAME BRUHHH. i get no type of respect, privilege, opinion, or a no acknowledgment😒😐😐😐bc i’m not “grown”
“I pay the bills, I feed you, I gave you a home” yeah that’s like the whole point
Maybe feed your self , get ur own house than you can do what you want. its her house her rules.
@@safkasimanofficial1190 but you can still disagree and question those “rules”
@@safkasimanofficial1190 yes I am going to illegally get a job, pay for a house, drive a car... etc. You do realize that this only applies to emancipated kids and kids 18+ who are financially and mental ready to fend for themselves, right?
@@safkasimanofficial1190 THEN DON'T HAVE CHILDREN!!
@@safkasimanofficial1190 no kid asked to be born tho. Why would parents complain about their kids owe-ing them something when most parents literally wanted to have children that’s literally on them
from my experience as a daughter of strict parents, i am 18 now and i still fear my parents. when i’m in my room, i am able to recognize who’s footstep is coming up the stairs and which room they’re going to go to. living under such harsh rules and being restricted to join sports or clubs, really only made me curious abt it as a kid. i became sneaky and secretive. my mom asked me why i wouldn’t show her my tik toks or instagram. it’s not because i am doing bad things, but because it’s my safe place. if i cannot have it in the home i am in, i have it digitally. i talk about how i feel on there and knowing my mom, she would always have something to say about it. she yelled a lot and inflict and project her trauma and opinion too harshly on me when i was younger. parents have to realize kids will have different opinions throughout life and can still respect theirs. so yelling and never having privacy growing up only pushed me away from opening up to my parents. even til now, when she raises her voice at me, my eyes tear up. i still ask if i can go out with my friends even though i’m adult. i don’t tell them anything abt my dating life bc the second they find out i’m interested in someone, they take my freedom of going out away. i’ve been really sheltered my whole life and have had decisions made FOR me. so when i did hit 18, i honestly didn’t know what to do. i didn’t develop much of a critical thinking skill, as well as thinking for myself and what i want.
I'm really sorry you're going through this. I hope you find the strength and knowledge to get out of that situation;(
I feel bad for Nguyen, he's a good parent but he must have felt so guilty when his son started hitting himself.
@Dark__ Wolf Yes. Seek help.
@Dark__ Wolf a therapist
honestly strict asian (or of any ethnicity) parents need to realize that they impact their children’s mental health enormously through their parenting. it sucks as i know what it feels like.
my brother did since he was a baby but he has ADHD so I dont if it has anything to do with it.
Fearing parents and respecting them isn’t the same. At least for me
There are consequences for negative actions
@Noah Youssef my parents are literally moroccan and they live by this rule. 😐😐😐
You’re right. It’s not. I don’t want my child to fear me. I want them to make decisions based off what they know is the right thing to do and be able to come to me even when they don’t and make mistakes.
@@Ashley-nr4vh but your child should also know there are consequences for actions
@@TheDipset1233 that’s why parents should handle it in a calmer approach, instead of the child fearing of being hurt it should be a talk and ways to figure out a solution together, depending on what happened.. and of course all actions of consequences
"you don't get privacy, you don't pay the bills" and that is how you give your kids anxiety
And the reason why kids don't go to their parents with their problems
@@zacharycollins1547 literally
Many parents just let their kids stay in their rooms all day shut out from the world, then when they finally come out into the world they have no idea what to do. Some privacy is important but you also have to draw a line.
@@ahhhhhh124 yea I agree.
@@ahhhhhh124 it’s also all in the age too. As they get older they get more privacy. A 9 year old doesn’t need as much as a 17 year old. If that makes since
I teach kindergarten and have had multiple students become violent with others, and constantly hit their classmates. 100% of these children were spanked or hit at home. Do NOT spank your children. How am I as a teacher supposed to teach my students that hitting others is wrong if their parents hit them? It breaks my heart to see so many young children come to me complaining and crying about their parents and I not being able to do anything. Children grow more violent with more anger issues when hit or spanked. Researchers found that children who were physically disciplined (spanking, swatting, etc.) showed much more aggressive behaviors, thus leading to a greater likeliness of being spanked even more-this creates a vicious cycle that breeds children with anger issues. DO NOT have children if you cannot contain your anger.
Would be interesting to hear from the children of strict and free range parents, and see their opinions on how each parenting style has affected them.
jealousy may arise though like hearing that one kid who has it pretty tight like that father of 5 compared to like one of the free range kids. if they see someone their age or even younger having a more laid back lifestyle might cause some issues
yes the kids would have to be older late teen to 20s to really be able to compare
1,000th like I have so much power muhhahahah
My parents spanked me and i turned out fine. i think some of these people are complete pussies
My mum was "strict" growing up. I used to be one of those "but I turned out fine!!" people, until I realized that actually, I didn't. As the eldest of two kids I pretty much got all of the flack for everything, imo worse than the occasional smack was the constant insults. I couldn't confide in my parents or expect emotional support from them. As an adult I deal with mental illness, the way I was raised being one causal link. The outcomes obviously vary but I think there's an indisputable link between certain parenting techniques and how they can cause damage to a child.
I think there needs to be better widespread understanding of the difference between "strict" discipline and abuse. Especially for those of us raised in ethnic families there's too many people that excuse behaviors that I would consider the latter as being the former.
Next middle ground topic:
Children of free range parents vs Children of strict parents
Edit: probably teenagers and young adults preferably xD
Nah their parents wouldn't let them go lmao
Remember "strict parents make sneaky children" lmao 😂
They never do these ones
@@jsan-wu1cz and sneaky kids are smart kids cuz they don't get caught
I would love to be in that episode
Nyougen isn’t strict he is just a normal parent who loves his children
He mostly a authoritave parent well rounded
He was the only one who seemed like a sane, balanced, reasonable parent. The others were extreme in being either permissive or authoritarian (too strict). Edit: Nyugen would fall into the Authoritative parent category, which is considered the healthiest.
*change my mind*
do you work at a butchery because damn…
@@ozziekins_ lmao
THIS. this is what healthy conversation should look like. No character assassination, no figure pointing and raising voices. Refreshing.
The one mom who said their child can’t quit the violin once they start, I’ve been playing for almost 17 years. You have to love what you’re doing. If you don’t, it’s not worth it to keep playing. Music is about working hard and being an artist, but forcing it isn’t the way to go.
I think she wants her daughter to have more than one life skill and to also have a 'never give up' mindset when they grow up
my mum used to play instruments but then she just quit and now she regrets it so its important to find the reason to quit and if they're going to regret it later
And you never wanted to quit? Not even in the very beginning when you were very little?
My son played piano when he was 5. At 11 he quiets because we can't find a teacher. At 15 he found apps on his cellphone, he picked up all his skills and even better. Because he likes to play modern songs than classic ones. He taught his sis to play too. My daughter plays even better because she is younger has more time to play.
Yh but I think she is trying to install perseverance in her child not to just oh well I’m done with this move on
Both extremes are bad. Children shouldn't be left to do everything on their own without guidance but they should as well be given privacy and respect.
lol
Agreed
Hermione Granger yeah my mom is somewhere in the middle
The fact that people need to say extremism is bad is not a good sign
It’s pronounced LevioSAH
Nguyen doesn't seem strict at all. He probably has the best parenting style where there is a mix of rules and freedom just like it is for adults
He and the preacher seem to have it down.
@@thatsteampunkguy6528 I agree, Nguyen stopped spanking because it didn't work for his kid, but acknowledged it can work for others, and both him and the preacher seemed to have a good balance of parenting / friending in all the different avenues.
I had super strict parents and by my teenage years I had become a nightmare sneaking around them and able to lie very easily. I went through some hardships discovering the dark side of the world by myself. I wish I had been exposed to more with the assistance of my parents. Now I have stabilized as an adult but I realize there needs to be a middle ground
I missed middle ground. Honestly you need to have a balance of being strict and being free. Because it's important that kids develop independence but also know there are house rules that need to be followed and children need to learn respect. But also some parents also need to respect their kids as well.
💯 its good for them to learn on their own but if they come to you for permission for help or advice then you can guide them. But it depends on the situation. Have to have a healthy balance of strict and free so they can learn but you can also teach them. If your too strict then they lash out and become bad and if they are too free they become bad. Lol.
100% Agree with you!
The Gunters Adopt I totally agree with you. And I’m also so happy that’s how my parents are. They are sorta free range parents but also strict. My parents have a perfect balance in my opinion.
Exactly!
YES, couldn't have said it better myself
Lady: "You train a dog, not a kid"
Me: *cant stop associating "Free Range Kids" with "Free Range Chickens" *
Yasmine Larios not the best branding choice lol
Lol
When they asked the first guy what he thinks when he hears the term free range parents, my first thought was if I were him I would have answered “free range chickens”
I was thinking “free range chickens” too 😂
Yasmine Larios LMAOO i thought the same 😂 free range chickens ahhhhhaha i’m ded
The asian guy in the yellow shirt is basically the most balanced best parent ever
I had a friend who wanted to quit piano lessons. His parents forced him to keep going saying no you can't quit. He later took his own life. He was being abused by the piano teacher. He even tried telling them. They called him a liar.
I can't imagine ever forcing my child (or any child) to go fouth with any activity they truly weren't enjoying. I think it's nice to find things you're kids do truly enjoy and to ask questions. They should always feel loved and supported!
all im gonna say is this :
I don't want my kid to think "Oh no, something bad happened! I'm scared because of how mom is gonna react! And now I'm gonna keep it a secret from her!"
I want my kid to have the mindset of "Oh no something bad happened, I have to call mom right now so she knows and can help me work out the problem!"
Same but I also feel like that they shouldn’t always have to have that mindset of “my mom will help me” because they get used to it and will always rely on their mom or someone else whenever something goes wrong or have a problem because it’s not gonna be good for them in the long run
@@rosamercado6896 Right. I wish my mom and I had more of a relationship along the lines of "I need help, I can't do this alone even though I tried, now I need my mom."
But instead, because of how I've been raised so far, it's more of a "I can't tell her, because she'll lose it."
It's a work in progress, but I wish the situation we have now hadn't been set up in the first place
@@BlackwoodManor I’m sorry to hear that if you need someone to talk to I’m here!
I’m in the middle. I want my kid to feel like I can talk to you. But I don’t want him nor her to feel scared. I want respect. People associated fear with respect. But in actuality fear is love. If your grades are bad I won’t spank you because I understand the feeling of having bad grades and the pressure to keep them up. I do want them to go sneak out and do other bad stuff like joining gangs, because that shows he or she is not comfortable with you and wants to seek love. You need to have discussions with your kids a lot. But when you are messing up like in class all the time and your teacher calls me daily I have to spank you because it shows your not giving effort and you don’t care. And I know school is so controlling and manipulate you into something they want to do. But you have to talk. Children can’t feel scared to say I’m addicted to the bad videos sites and I’m trying to stop watching it or I do drugs but I don’t like it. And if they don’t feel open to talk that shows the character of you parenting skills. And people think that parents like hitting on their kids no they hate it. But it’s what they were taught and they have no other way because they couldn’t really talk to their mom nor dad. When I have kids I’m going to make sure I’m mentally, emotionally, and physically in tact with them. When you can here them out they can trust you and start opening up. When they do something really really bad than ok spank them. But if your child is scared to tell you the truth and is scared to talk rethink what your doing and talk to ur child
@@flukc6229 nah bro i wouldn't spank kids in general. im sorry ik we can agree to disagree but it feels wrong to me, and i dont wanna do it.
god i hate the “you don’t pay the bills so you don’t get anything” argument, my dad did that and it’s just a power trip. children have no way to pay the bills and shouldn’t have to, THEYRE CHILDREN. everyone is entitled to a CERTAIN level of privacy. of course as a parent you can have access to your kid’s phone. but saying they can’t keep their door closed or keep their phone in their room or they have to show you their phone 24/7 just develops more problems in kids than strengths.
Its not a u dont get anything. Its a u dont get everything
I completely agree my parents always said that to me and my siblings and it pissed me off. That told me they didn't trust me and emotionally guilt-tripped me and my siblings by saying "you took our teen years away"(they had my oldest brother at 15) and "you don't pay bills" or "I feed you and you have a roof over your head" they didn't even let us close our doors at night and my baby sister would wak every day crying scared from the darkness outside of the door.
@@adora7101 its just a door
@@imitationcrabmeat6999 If it's just a door why can't I close it?
@@adora7101 because why do you need to
In South Africa we don't have the privilege of "Free-range" parenting. Human & Child trafficking is waaaay too high to not be strict to keep them safe. It's Terrible
Of course. While I feel like kids should have freedom, sometimes their parents aren’t privileged enough to give it to them.
As I child in South Africa, this is so true as you can't walk alone or walk to certain places and it is scary
I grew up in South Africa as well. It's just not possible there to allow your children to go anywhere by themselves
Very True, and if you are not home by 10:00pm everyone will start looking for you.
Even though im not black and its not really my place to say, but id prefer to die instead of having to live a crippled life with no freedom.and then not grow to be a criplled adult and not prolly make something outta my life
It may be quick/over/forgotten about for the parent. but for the child it leaves permanent scars. shameful.