I Got Kicked Out of Church | Bill Engvall
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- Опубліковано 6 лют 2025
- Bill has got some of the quickest wit, but sometimes it backfires. Sometimes when Bill gets a little confused he says the first thing that comes to mind....we don't think the church is going to be letting him speak for a while! Enjoy this oldie but goodie from Bill's library of hilarity.
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About Bill Engvall
Comedian Bill Engvall was part of the enormously successful Blue Collar Comedy Tour and has starred in a number of films, TV shows and sitcoms, including Blue Collar TV, Comedy Central, A Pair of Jokers, Evening at the Improv , The Jeff Foxworthy Show, The Tonight Show and the Late Show with David Letterman. Some of Engvall's specials and albums include:
Just Sell Him For Parts (2016)
Them Idiots Whirled Tour (2012)
Aged and Confused (2009)
15° Off Cool (2007)
Dorkfish (1998)
Here’s Your Sign (1996)
Engvall's work has earned his numerous awards, including American Comedy Award for “Best Male Stand-up Comedian," #1 position on the Billboard Comedy Chart for Here's Your Sign, “Best Selling Comedy album," and a Grammy Award nomination for Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One For The Road.
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The older I get, the more Bill makes sense....lolthis stuff is not only true, but hilarious!
Saw Bill at The Funny Bone comedy club in Cincinnati in the 80’s when he was just starting out. Had everyone in the place holding their stomachs in pain from laughing so hard. Still hilarious. Great delivery. Doesnt have to drop f-bombs like so many, past and present. Probably my favorite comedian ever.
Same here...saw him at 18 and my sides hurt then. He came up in conversation tonight and came to listen to more of him still making my sides hurt. He can sure make any day happier.
Years ago, I heard Bill Engvall tell this joke when he played at the Genesee Theatre in Waukegan, IL. After he said that the correct answer is Fiji, he started doubling over laughing, saying we should have seen the looks on our faces, we must have been that shocked. Fun times. Fun times.
Thanks for the years of laughter, Bill. Here's hoping for a lot more.
I just laugh so hard when I watch him. Love his comedy
He is so funny! Clean comedy. He is adorable!
Even in her hardest moments, all I have ever had to do to make my daughter pee her pants laughing is either show a video or act out your "dorkfish" bit. She's in her 40's now and it still works. Thank you Bill.
Englishman here. From the UK. I absolutely love this guy.
LMAO, 'spot on' indeed!...
Fiji would not have been MY first thought either...
I can listen to Bill Engvall tell the same jokes for days and still die laughing!!!!
Same!
@@JessSoapbox he and the rest of the boys KILL IT EVERY TIME!!!
Same 🤣🤣
Me too. lol
I think that's what they call a "dry" sense of humor
I'm sitting here saying to the phone, Bill u didn't, u just didn't. He did. Love u Bill for all the great years, u still make me laugh. God bless u.
The best way to start a joke, "then she brought me to a renaissance fair." 😂
That was his hope as a married man to get laid
I love his stories.😂😂🤣🤣 The Renaissance Fair is hilarious.
And true!!! Lol
I'm a HUGE Ren Faire nerd!
This man is a national treasure.
Now I have to watch the whole thing.
Your answer is always spot on Bill. I would Pitchin an extra 100 bucks to the church donation basket 😆.
Hahaha love Bill! Thankyou for sharing the best medicine!! Laughter!!! :-))
In all fairness, the Preacher did not specify if he was speaking geographically or anatomically.
Hey I gotta is a time for
This comment is brilliant
Exactly. It's the definition of a vague and poorly phrased question.
“What country are the women’s hair the most naturally curled?” There is the question that can’t be misinterpreted.
I would have thought the same thing ! Next they better specify what they want ! Lol !
They need to say “in what country do women...”
@@maximumeffort5877 I was thinking the same thing lol, otherwise I would have answered the same way.
To be fair to Bill, I would have answered the same way, and I'm a woman!!
Well I don't because you edited it out!
@@maximumeffort5877 one of those trivia games where they don't tell you the category first.
Oh now I can refer to lady parts now as "Fiji!" LOL. No wonder Marlon Brando loved it so much. LOL
LMAO!
Thank you for this
I was raised in Fiji. Those Fiji fro women are curly. Curlier than Africans women.
I love Bill, he is my favorite
God Bless you Bill
LOL my hubby won't even go with me for the beer!!!! 😄
Tell him how my wife got me to go. There are acres of boobs on display. I went to the next fair in the area.
To the answer that got him thrown out of church ,I was thinking the same as Bill.
Sounds like someone slipped different trivia questions with the churches. 😂💀👀
My 2nd favorite New Year's Eve was seeing Bill and Jeff Foxworthy at Rupp Arena for a midnight show. They totally rocked the house and had hundreds of balloons in nets on the ceiling which they released at midnight. We had so much fun. Wonderful comedians!
Love ya Bill!!!!!!!
We will see him on stage next week/ can't wait!
My grandmother and her friend went to a pentacostal church one Sunday. They ended up getting kicked out. Apparently when people started getting the "spirit" and were rolling on the ground and other stuff, my grandmother and her friend started laughing.
It was not appreciated.
Just what I needed tonight Bill, love these new uploads man! Hope one day you’ll do one more North American tour. Have a blessed night.
I know why Romeo and Juliet killed themselves,lmao🤣🤣
Joann P at least they had a turkey leg
badlandskid
Lol.
Seriously. My aunt was trying to convince me to go to a Renaissance fair today and I politely declined. I spent the day sweating and working on my project car and know I had a better time doing that than I would have at the fair. Just the thought of going to one gives me a headache.
Joann P that’s right, in deed we do. It turns out our english teachers have lied to use for decades hahahaha.
Nolan LaValley
Totally,lol
Sorry but I LOVED the Renaissance Festival in Fort Lauderdale. Went every year for 20 years. Only stopped going because I moved to Atlanta . . . . It was in February each year and by December, I was literally 'counting the days'! So many great experiences. So many dedicated performers. And the jousting! That was for real. One of the joust broke and the piece came flying toward me. I picked it up - it was solid wood. The people jousting were just 'macho guys' (and one was a 45 year old woman! she sure didn't look 45! looked much younger) out to really absolutely joust. And the turkey legs! I could go on for another hour!
Just love this man!
Best comedy man EVER! JohnP
“I didn’t know! I thought my answer was spot-on!”
That’s what everybody says lol.
I got kicked out of church around the age of 8. And i swear it was not done by me it was done through me. But right when the organ music paused before everyone sings, i belched so loud it echoed through the place, keyboard player missed a note, whole church turned to stare at me, my granparents who were prim and proper and in first row standing of the church were mortified, my dad grabbed me by the arm and ran out and died laughing with me. That's how my dad and i got to stay home on sundays and watch hockey and eat pretzels while the rest of my siblings got stuffed into itching scratching suits for the sabbath 😂😂
Dude Nobody freaking cares what happened to you
I got kicked out of Sunday school for asking why we have fossils of dinosaurs, but not in the Bible ??!! Lol😊
I'm glad he answered the question otherwise i would hand been wondering...
In high school, I got tasked with arranging a re-enactment for American History class... so I choose the occupation of Lebanon! It was the mid-80's, so most kids in our class already had some form of military fatigues in their wardrobe... so everybody quick threw them on, marched into the scene, and just sat-around doing nothing for a few minutes, then got-up & left when order to withdraw was given.
Good answer! Good answer!..... oh,wait. This ain't family feud
You never disappoint!
I would've agreed with you Bill, my mind wasn't thinking geographical, that was such a trick question!😂
I always liked Bill Engvall. Katniss' father … LOL!!
I absolutely love the RenFaire!! Season Pass Holder!
Proof that obscene language, isn’t necessary for comedy. Thank you Mr. Bill…lol
yep, bill, the redneck guy..... taught me young age. you dont have to be mean, nasty to be funny. you can be funny so everyone can laugh. its an art, few can master it. in my opinion the ones who get nasty are the ones who are just lazy.
A priest asking a question like that to a comedian, he walked right into that one.
...... Spot on! .... lol! ...
I want a pillow case with Hank Williams Jr. Lmbo
Me...”Vajayjay.”
Pastor wide eyed “No, it’s Fiji.”
Me... with a confused look “That’s what I said, Fiji. I don’t understand why you said no?”
You are awesome😂😂😂😂
Omg when he got the the flags, its true!
Fiji is still south of the Equator.
I believe your trivia answer was the same one that popped into my mind. Who would think of an actual country? 😂
I think they would answer the same way in Fiji.
😂😂😂
I got kicked out of Church too, when I told minister I thought God was a Baseball fan rather than basketball, after minister spent $ millions on basketball court!
He's got to be in the top 5
I immediately thought the same thing. The happy place ;)
Giggity
It’s nice to hear funny without a lot of cussing..!
It is nice I don’t blame ya but telling jokes with cuss words can be funnier but without cussing it’s still can be funny.
@@jaredbrewer3222 I'm no prude. I love a good dirty joke, but my grandkids love playing with papa's phone so I gotta be careful lol
Try Dry Bar Comedy.
@@samanthajones5510 I love that channel !
Agree 💯.
at 0:48 that dude in the audience's nose! Rivals Gavin Free
Wellllllll......... Fiji is a better option than Brazil!🤣🤣🤣
The woman at 2:38 looks so worried -- like her darkest secret is about to be revealed
Bill...don't you DARE dis the Ren Faire!
It's the best place I've ever gone to outside of Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament
One minute am I related to bill engvall? Seriously ask ANY of the guys in my family the same question and we’ll give the EXACT SAME ANSWER!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I must be related to BOTH of you! I would have said Africa too.
Been there, loved it, but..yea.
That why I tell them to shave it bald 😂🤣
You first!😂
I busted a gut 😂
Pretty darn good
Yall should make a longer video love u Bill
This is a funny man!
OMG !!! Lmao....
I wish you would come down south to Georgia area , pick up Jeff too if you want....lol
I would love to hear you one night
Hi, Jill, from Seattle. I grew up in South Georgia and lived there for a while as an adult. Dougherty and Lee counties.
KID ROCK you nailed it. Lived some teen years in Albany, moved away for quite a few years, moved back for a couple then found a great job on a Lee County plantation as a house manager, and lived out there, too. Loved my job, enjoyed living there, but missed the west coast and my family who had moved out here. Been around Seattle for quite a while but had fun with my best friend who hadn’t been in the south on a trip to Georgia a few years back.
Beer makes everything Better 🤯⁉️🤣‼️
I thought it was butter that makes everything better...... but I'm with you. I beer in my hand for breakfast and the day starts well 😄🍺🍺.
This is hilarious 🤣 !!!
Ohh-Yeahhh, Down Under!!! Here's Your Sign... LMAO
An innocent mind would have thought that meant Australia. 🤣🤣
Kicked out of church of Christ , for saying they need to put a dollar sign above the pulpit they only care about who can dress up the most and have the most money . Never again will I set foot in the church of the all mighty dollar !!!!
Hahahaha you so funny keep at it .
So did I. I was 65 years old. The Mormon ward ended my membership because I demanded that they fix my baptism when I found a fake baptism with my name years before I was even a Christian. The year was 1977 when they did the fake baptism. I wasn't aware of it until 2018. I didn't become a Christian until 2017. Now, I'm no longer a Christian or a believer of God because of the church.
Preacher: “Here’s your sign. It says GET OUT!”
Great video
LMBO the hair joke was good. I was thinking why would a church say something like that but I should have known it was a Country.
I believe General Patton’s grandfather was in the Civil War. He fought for the Confederacy. He was a graduate of VMI, Virginia Military Institute.
I liked your answer better! ❤❤❤
Love it!
Fiji, Fifi. Same thing 😂
Is it bad that I can't tell if this was shot in 1999 or 2019?
Nope it's ok
Does it have anything to do with bills age? 😂
This was back in 2012
I almost got kicked out for dropping the holy water and screaming why it was boiling and burning.
It ice cold 😈
When I was around 7 or 8, I was kicked out of Sunday school. We were being told how jesus rose from the dead. I then asked "so, jesus was a zombie?" The teacher looked at me like I was nuts. Then tried to tell me that he wasn't. I of course said that he was a zombie. We argued for a while. He then kicked me out of his class forever.
My parents were called to advise them that they needed to take me in hand. See, Adam and Eve got kicked out of the Garden of Eden and their sons married girls from the community. I wanted to know where those girls came from if Adam and Eve were the only two created people on earth before they had sons.
My mother was told that I shouldn’t return to the summer bible school class because I, “…asked too many questions and was upsetting the other children”. In reality it was the bible school teacher that was upset because she couldn’t answer my very reasonable questions about how all the supernatural stuff worked.
Getting kicked out of bible school turned out to be the best day of my childhood!
@@onemercilessming1342pretty simple, those girls were their sisters, but at that time, the diseases and mutations that come from this sort of union were not prevalent. God told people to be fruitful and multiply, so to fulfill this mandate they had to marry their sisters, but much later on this practice was forbidden .
So there were no other humans for the sons to marry.
@@SgtRock57 That's Jehovahs Witnesses point of view.
Disgusting @@SgtRock57
Reply to Brad not Landa
I had a neighbor in West Virginia whose father WAAAAAAY back in the woods had to be dragged to a Holy Roller church. He list off his wife by saying the people were all faking it.
One Sunday they were speaking in tongues and rolling on the floor and he gently rolled a pillowcase with a skunk into the church, and apparently that transcended all the "mystical" tongues an transported the most ecstatic floor rolling acrobat outside as fast as possible.
¥€$
Apparently the answer is Fiji. 😂😂😂😂
Figi it is! Oh, your such a Figi!!
So underrated. Always thought he was a good looking guy. 😉
Still really cute❤❤
your story about 1st medical maijuanna exp had litterally holdin my side,,great tale,lol
I loved that one too....Part 1 and 2.....omg.....hilarious..
,¥
Ohhh how I wish I had been able to attend.. lolol
Should've just said "Brazil." Nice, safe, sounds good, answer.
I so agree about the renaissance fairs. I avoid them like the plague.
Knew it was coming! LOL!!
😾😹...
🚬👓...
I've been to a civil war battle reenactment and they use horses
GS Bill Engvall 😂😂😂
Master at the art of being funny.
I'd be thrown right out with you, I Swear that would have been my answer, As soon as you said Fiji I was Like ,
Ooooooooooooooo.
Beauty ! - this guy would be an excellent teacher on the Human Chronometer of Vertical and Horizontal Stressors, speaking effectively to stereotypes on the parodies of lifes discource, of paradigmatical parodox...Unfortunately, our academic Mental Health seems to have kept that chronometer out of class, and sold it to the vocation of stand up comedy...these people are our teachers ! excellent conduct.
That's funny I got kicked out of church for telling a joke. Someone said Jesus Christ. I was like.... Jesus Christ stop me if you heard this one before.... Jesus Christ walks into a hotel he hands the innkeeper three nails can you put me up for the night.
Bill Engvall, God's gift to us as a reminder we're all idiots. Not Bill, all of us :)