Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Guys' Favorite Jokes
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
- Bill Engvall, Larry the Cable Guy, Ron White and Jeff Foxworthy sit down besides each other and tell a couple of their favorite jokes. The song at the beginning of the video is called "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns N' Roses.
I do not own this video, as is property of WMG.
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Larry's dizzy, Ron is drunk, then there's Bill and Jeff. Love em all, and I wish them nothing but the best.
😂😅
You spelled Ditzy wrong; ) 😂
There is this old actor, Dean Martin, who would always be drinking. Well, he would drink and he would drink and he'd get drunker and drunker. That was his schtick. Years later, turned out that he was only drinking apple juice all that time. He never actually drank bourbon. I wonder if Ron White does something similar.
Bills reaction to jeffs mother in law joke just shows how many jokes these guy know
you know the best part of a bill engvall joke, how hard he laughs at them.
Ron getting up at 4:44 right when Larry was going to start his joke and Jeff’s reaction was awesome.
Jeff: "Ronnie do you gotta joke?"
Ron: "Nope!"
lol
Just let me drink my scotch guys.
@@patrickglover7506 With my "Scotch Guard" to protect my seat! lol
@@jeraleewood5969 yes.
Love the casual response to Ron “Alright”.
Works for me.... I love the other 3, but he bugs me
"It ain't right but you laughed at it." Yes I did. I'm going "OH NO thats evil" between chuckles. LOL
Lol
They NEVER fail 2 amuse US!!!! TOO HILARIOUS 🤣😅
I gotta admit the preacher told me that lol 😂😂😂 had me on the floor lmao
Too bad they don't tour together anymore. They are awesome and very hilarious when they are together like this.
Thank you so much for being a good fan of mine I really appreciate if you wish to message me on hangout here is my gmail below
jefffoxworthy63@gmail.com
Please stay safe ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
agree they are funny all together
😂❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Have you not heard? Bill retired and was sold for spare parts.
I love how in the beginning, Sweet Child O' Mine is played!
My shortest favorite "dad joke."
Two men walk into a bar.
One guy rubs his forehead and turns to the other guy. "So why don't we ever duck?"
A youth got into a lot of trouble, vandalizing and the such. One day, he got married; so he cleaned up his act. Well, some years went by, and the wife ran away with the state trooper. After the divorce, the man decided to live a little; and got himself a 1969 Ford Mustang. He was speeding along the highway, when he saw blue flashing lights. The man sped up some more, before realizing; "Hey, what am I doing? I'm not young anymore." So the man turned his blinker on and pulled over. After he and the state trooper stopped, the trooper got and went up to the man's window. "License, and registration; please." The trooper said. The man handed over his license and registration. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" The trooper asked. "Yes, sir; I do. I was speeding." The man answered. "I'll tell you what, I've heard every excuse in the book. So, you tell me a new one I haven't heard before, I'll let you off with a warning." The man thought for a few seconds before saying; "Well, sir; the thing of it is, is that my ex-wife ran away with a state trooper and, well; I thought you were bringing her back." The state trooper handed back the license and registration and said; "Have a nice day."
jrny20 I don't quite get the end
The guy hated his wife.
I gotta remember that one next time I'm pulled over by a state trooper.
@@tenhirankei Trust me, the state troopers have all heard that joke.
+Mike M That was a joke?
"Bring me my brown pants"
THAT one killed me
The look on Engvall's face @ 6:39 is priceless! I thought he was gonna launch like a rocket outta his chair!!
They were all good but the parrot joke kept me laughing for quite a while!
These guys are awesome... Thank you for your video
ron white is the best
julie1039. Thank you
julie1039 Ron is the worst. Not funny at all
Bear hunting season has just opened. A lone hunter sights a bear, squeezes off a shot, and the bear drops out of sight. The hunter runs up to where he thought the bear should be, looks around and sees nothing. Then he feels a tap on his shoulder. It's the bear, who says, "I've just come out of a long hibernation and I'm hungry and horny, so I'm either going to eat you or screw you. Your choice." After the hunter pulls up his pants and slowly crawls away, he gets angry and decides to turn and take another shot at the bear. Again, the bear falls out of sight. He walks over to where it was and feels a tap on his shoulder. The bear says, "Same two options." As the hunter is crawling away, he turns and takes one final shot and the bear falls to the ground, motionless. He crawls up to the bear, who opens his eyes just as the hunter reaches him and says, "You're not really here for the hunting, are you?"
Best one yet in the comments.
I think it's the wording of the punchline that is so right.
Now that’s funny!
This one was pretty good. 😄
A preacher goes bear hunting, after sitting up in a tree for 3 hours he finally spots one. He lines up his scope, gets the red dot right on the bear’s forehead when suddenly the branch snaps and he falls down about 10 feet from the bear. The bear turns, growls, and starts running towards him, the preacher gets up and takes off running. They run for about 2 minutes before the bear has run him into a corner by a cliff. The preacher gets down on his knees and prays “God I ask for your mercy and hope that this bear is a follower of you, oh Lord. Amen.” The bear walks up to the preacher and after growling once more the bear bows his head and says “dear lord please bless this meal for the nourishment of my body, amen”
''Do have any know aliases? Ron-''Yeah, they call me, Tater Salad'' *Blue collar Comedy Tour Entrance* ''Mr.Ron Tater Salad White!!!!''
Guy walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt. Says to the bartender, "give me a beer, and let me have one for the road."
I feel like I'm okay when Ron is drinking on stage. Scotch in my hand
Yeah, talk about an inspirational booster drink?!
Enjoying to the moon and back
LOVE THE PARROT!!! WINKZ GRINZ
These four guys together are the best!!!
Jeff's like screw it I'm not wasting my time bothering with Larry !!!!
I’m reading the comments and now everybody a comedian lol.👍😁😎
Ron, you got a joke?
Nope!
Immortalfire he sucks..
@theff07 yeah it is !!!!! yes bill's laughter is contagious !!! when he laughs it just makes you want to laugh along with him !!!
Lol i saw this on tv last night, and I havent had such a good laugh in ages.. These guys are SO funny
Love all these guys!!
@TracyLynn93 Heres your sign.
"I was pulled over on the side of a rode with the hood up and it was smoking. A truck pulled up behind me and i just knew he was going to say it.. "
"Car break down? "
" No car needed a cigarette so i pulled over. "
Here's your sign.
"Bring Me My Brown Pants!"...LOL
Saving the best one for last eh?:D
I'm catching the 8.15 outta here 🤣🤣🤣
Nice, your video
did you jump?
Yeah. Well, a little at first!
Anyone else notice how scatological all of Bill's jokes were?
why do they laugh so dam hard!!
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Profit...
you forgot the most important steps lol.
A lady stumbles into a bar and says "Beertender get me a dribble martuni and put a pickle in it." He gives it to her and she drinks it down. She says "Beertender get me another dribble martuni and put a pickle in it." He gives it to her and she drinks it down. Then she says "Beertender get me another dribble martuni and put two pickles in it because...because I got heartburn." The bartender says "Look lady it ain't beertender it's bartender. It's not a martuni. It's a martini. It's not a dribble. It's a double. It's not a pickle. It's an onion. And you don't got heartburn. You got your left tit in the ashtray.
THAT'S FUNNY SHIT RIGHT THERE
Heard that one before on The Howard Stern Show. Still funny af.
HELL YEAG!
And here I thought all those pickles were giving her heartburn!
New Joke, (which also isn't right):
Doc; I have good news and bad news.
Joe; What's the good news?
Doc;You got married. And the bad news is you've become blind.
Joe; Really? Wow!
Doc; Oh, sorry, I meant it the other way.
this is hilarious and larry the cable guy is funny
"Bring me my brown pants" lmao! i love that joke
They need to het back together.
Those pants could have been two tone; yellow AND brown!
It ruined it for me when I found out Larry's real accent
I think I saw something where he used his real voice in it. I was surprised at it at first. But no matter whether it's his Larry the Cable Guy voice or his regular voice as Dan Whitney, he still says "Son of a bitch" as "Sumbitch".
the joke Bill told @ 8:00 made me think of Malcolm Reynolds from Firefly, because he's the captain of Serenity, and he always wore brown pants & a red shirt.
5:05 is the funniest joke in the whole video
They make me laugh
Fucking love these guys 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
On the next car movie u needed to put all them I a scene
I like this one-
Dirty Joke:
What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
When you slap a mosquito, it'll stop sucking.
What DVD was this from?
I love the ships jokes
6:53
"It ain't right but you laughed at it!!" Plus one to you Jeff!
By saying "nope", Ron was funnier than every other joke told during this segment :D
A guy dies and goes to Hell. When he arrives, the devil is waiting for him. Behind the devil are 3 closed doors. The devil says, "there are 3 doors and you must do something behind them" Devil opens the 1st door and in that room, there are people standing on there heads on a concrete floor. Guys says"I don't want to do that" Devil closes door #1 and opens the 2nd door and there are people standing on there heads on a wooden floor. Guys says, "I don't wanna do that either" Devil closes the 2nd door and opens the 3rd door and there are people at a bar drinking beer with shit up to there knees. Guys says, "I guess that's not too bad" so the guy enters the bar and the devil brings him his beer. 1/2hr later, devil opens the door and says, "alright breaks over, back to standing on your heads"
A length of rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says "Get out, we don't serve your kind in here!" The rope goes outside and cuts himself in half and ties his two sections together. He takes a comb and combs out his ends. He walks back into the bar and the bartender says "hey, aren't you that rope I just kicked out?" The rope replied "No, I'm a frayed knot."
An old man Mr Smith goes to the doctor and tells him he can't hear out of his left ear. Doctor say well lets take a look, The doc looks into his ear and say Mr. Smith you have a suppository in your ear.
Mr. Smith say's "Oh, Now I know what happened to my hearing aid....
Two hunter friends are hunting and one drops to the floor. The other thinks he may be dead so he quickly calls 911. He asks the operator what to do and he says,"make sure that your friend is actually dead" there is silence and then a gun shot. The man goes " ok now what."😄😆
yeah that a good joke...but I like ( nfl green bay funny ) that is funny
Benjamin Lehman Yeah I saw that youtube video too lol
Benjamin Lehman totally paused the video to read your joke. 😂
That not right (but it's funny though )
I LOVE THAT I LAUGHED SO HARD I THOUGHT I WET MYSELF
No one laughs harder at a Bill Engvall joke than Bill Engvall.
Too true and all honesty, I think his were the weakest of them all
That's his charm.
@@NP148 The way I see it is this.
If you can't laugh at yourself, and your own stuff, you have no right to laugh at anyone else.
His solo act was great but yea his jokes with the guys were stale
I see you all are professionals. Your albums all went double platinum I guess...funny, never heard of any of you idiots...
You know how I know the tooth brush was invented in West Virginia?
Had it been anywhere else it would have been called a teeth brush...
Ahahahaha XD
What makes Larry's jokes so funny is that he is serious the whole time he's telling the story as if it were just another day in the life for him lol
"I bet this is the same doctor!
I think that's also true of Ron
So I’m at the doctors for my physical and he asks me to step behind the curtain and take my clothes off. “Where should I put them?” I ask. “On the chair next to mine”...
A pirate walks in a bar and sits down and he has a steering wheel in his lap. The bartender takes his order and upon bringing him his drink the bartender asks the pirate did you no you have a steering wheel in your lap at which the pirate replies aigh and its driving me nuts.
This was always my favorite part of their shows, when they are goofing off together and playing off of each other, lol
Thank you so much for being a good fan of mine I really appreciate if you wish to message me on hangout here is my gmail below
jefffoxworthy63@gmail.com
Please stay safe ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Well over a decade later and they still crack me up!!
Jimmy's mom and dad were going out for dinner, so they asked their neighbor if she will watch little Jimmy while they were gone. When they came back later that night. They paid the lady and mom said, "Ok Jimmy, kiss the nice lady goodnight." Then Jimmy said, " What and get hit in the nuts like Dad did!"
Damn
LMAO!
Waiter, there’s a dead cockroach in my soup.
Sorry, we’re all out of flies
6:15 the moment Bill figures out the punchline before the joke is over.
"All right, I give up. Where's the damn ship?"
Easily my favourite joke.
Heard this one years ago and it still cracks me up.
100 years from now that joke will still be funny!!!
"Alright. I give up. Where's the damn ship?"
One of my favorite jokes by Ron White! haha
I thought the flying lesson one was the best.
That was a john for joke
NO COURT WATCH HIS TATER SALAD BIT
I didn't get this one. I know I'm 10 years too late but could anybody explain this one?
@@anonymousbloke1 The ship joke? The parrot knew how the magician did all his jokes and ruined them for the audience. The magician got sick of it and tried to kill the parrot. Ship blew up and left the magician and parrot alone at sea. The parrot, thinking this was all part of the show, gave up and asked where the ship was as if it was all a trick. Not sure how else to explain. Sorry.
Ron White: "...did you jump? A little, at first." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
So, I think I get it but would you mind terribly haha
Ouch
In return explain bills 8:15am joke about wife? Heart, liver…..
Need to know! 🤍
I am so going to hell for laughing at Jeff's mom in law joke.
+IronDawg It ain't right but you laughed at it.
C. Dawg Knight When you get there, say "Hi!" to my mother in law. She'll be the one in charge.
So am I. But everyone goes to/through hell in this life or the next
We need more TV like this in today’s world.....
Good luck finding the, Preacher, or Republican. That follow, or teach the Values of Men, or Women.
They can’t find enough gay trans black non binary women that funny.
@@BoB-th8wmcan u expand or explain. I’m genuinely confused but always earnest
Due to the recent frequency of human/bear encounters, the fish and wildlife advises that all persons in the great outdoors to exercise extra precaution in the field. They advise outdoors-men to wear little tiny bells on themselves to give advanced warning not not startle the, bears. They also advise carrying pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear. Outdoors men need to watch for fresh bear activity and be able to tell the difference between black bear / grizzly bear feces. Black bear feces is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur, where as grizzly bear feces has lots of tiny bells in it, and smells like pepper.
Damn straight
I think it's funny how Bill always laughs at his own jokes harder than anyone else's jokes.
I'm not a comedian by any means, but I do the same thing. I'm that guy who laughs at his jokes harder than anyone else. But, it's like I always tell people...my comedy is, first and foremost, for me! 😁😁
Yes I agree too. He loves his own jokes. He’s awesome though!
agreed!!!!!
That's because Bill is occasionally amusing.
These guys are playing poker. 1 guy bets $5000 on a single hand & looses. He then drops dead of a heart attack. So they play 1 more hand to see who will break the news to the dead guy's wife. The guy who looses is told "look these 2 have been married for 20 years. They were high school sweethearts. So be gentle with her." "Ok I will be gentle." He knocks on the door & the dead guy's wife answers. He told her "Jack lost $5000 on a single hand of poker " She said "tell that moron to drop dead!" He "will do!"
"I'm just kiddin' with ya. She died!" XD It's the long, suspenseful jokes that are the funniest. XD
It ain’t right but you laughed at it. 😂
I was on a train the other day and this woman gets on with this UGLY baby.
This guy comes in from the bar car fried to the eyes, and he stops by the woman with the baby and he's staring. And he says: "Damn!"
The woman says "What're you looking at?" The guy says "I'm looking at that UGLY baby. That's a bad lookin' baby, lady. That's a hell of a kid you got there! I bet you save a lot of money with that baby, you don't need a babysitter, no one's gonna bother that kid"
The woman took this as an offense. She tanks the emergency cord, the train stops, and the conductor comes back and asks "What happened?"
She said "This man just insulted me! I don't have to ride this railroad and be insulted!
The conductor says "Look lady, because of what this man did, we're going to give you a free first class meal in the diner. And maybe we'll find a banana for your monkey!"
@@richkeeshan9757 Oof! 😂
GREAT, GREAT PUNCHLINE. My dad used to tell jokes like that. I have inherited his talent. But some people get impatient as hell if the punchline doesn't arrive within 20 seconds. F 'em! LOL
"I bet this is the same doctor!!!"
That made me laugh more than all those jokes they were telling. XD
It was so unexpected! 🤣
And such a Larry joke!
"Alright i give up, wheres the damn ship?"
lmao
Will Lonzie lol that was one of the best
A Russian and an American wrestler were set to square off for a match for the heavyweight title. Before the match, the American wrestler's manager came to him and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'Pretzel' hold he has, whatever you do don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!"
The wrestler nodded in acknowledgment.
As the match started, the American and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold.
A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the manager buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the inevitable happen. Suddenly, there was a scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the manager raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and the American collapsed on top of him making the pin and winning the match.
The manager was astounded. When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he asked, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"
The wrestler answered,"Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw his genitals right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could."
"So?" the manager exclaimed, "That is what finished him off?!"
"Not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own junk."
Joshua Carino Billy Conelly
I almost got fired from my job for watching this. I was a senior designer at a time, one coop student sent me this video on the corporate network. It was Friday. He is from one of the islands, huge black guy but young 21 years old. I've never heard of these guys before.. so I plugged in, headset on... play...
Oh my goodness. I was screaming of laughter..i couldn't stop.
Now my firm had about 40-50 designers, all boring dumb people. You can imagine, Friday at 2 p.m. one senior designer bursts into screaming laughter so hard that the management had to come up to see what's happening...i couldn't stop just laughing. I love these guys
I saw this one somewhere on a joke site:
Two nuns are walking along together in a small forest near the convent. One is known as the Logical Nun, the other as the Athletic Nun. After a while they become aware of a man in a trench coat following them. They take a side path through some bushes, and the man continues after them.
The Logical Nun leans over and tells her companion, "You run back to the convent and tell the Mother Superior we're being followed. I'll come along soon."
The Athletic Nun asks, "But what about you? What will you do when the man catches up to you?"
The Logical Nun replies, "Don't worry about me, just go!"
The Athletic Nun hikes up her skirt and starts running. She makes it to the convent and explains the situation to the Mother Superior.
Fifteen minutes later the Logical Nun comes walking out of the woods with not a mark on her. The other nuns go up to her and the Athletic Nun asks, "What happened? Is he still following you?"
The Logical Nun calmly says, "Here's what happened: I stopped, then he stopped. I hiked up my skirt, he dropped his pants."
The Athletic Nun is shocked when she hears this. "You two really did that?!"
"No, of course not! He couldn't very well run with his pants around his ankles, now, could he?"
LOL
Benjamin Lehman he pulled is pants down and her skirt up like they were going to fuck and u can't run with ur pants at ur ankles
Didn't tell it very well. Hard to understand the punch line
GDI the nun either had a very hairy bush or a dick
Lolw
LOL, during jeff's joke on the mother-in-law, bill couldn't stop laughing. they obviously have heard these jokes from each other more then one time.
and i loved the part when larry goes "I bet its the same doctor!" LOL!!!
The guys comes home from the doc,says to his wife ,I've got to take two of those pills every day For the rest of my life well that's not bad said his wife .yeah, but he only gave me four pills
Love how larry starts spinning on his stool for no reason. :)
It was not for no reason, he was mimicking going around the world, duh
He was told it was a sample stool
A guy hits a rabbit on the road with his car and kills it. A blond comes up with an aerosol can and sprays the rabbit and it comes back to life. The rabbit hops down the road, turns and waves and then keeps hopping. Again it turns around and waves and keeps hopping. The rabbit does this until it's gone. The guy says: "wow! whats in that can?" the blond reads the label and says : Hairspray. Brings dead hair back to life and adds a permanent wave.
xD
😆
BOOOOOOOOOOO
OMG, I loved that joke when I was in elementary school. Haven't heard it in a long time..lol
A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound unlike anything he's ever heard before. The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind. He doesn't sleep that night. He tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound.
The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." Distraught, the man is forced to leave.
Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answer again.
The monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."
The man says, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk."
The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are, and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find these answers, you will have become a monk."
The man sets about his task.
After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. A monk answers. He is taken before a gathering of all the monks.
"In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I traveled the earth and have found what you asked for: By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception."
The monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound."
The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is beyond that door."
The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the key to the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond.
Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has become very clear and definite. The monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."
The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind that door!
With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the knob, and slowly pushes the door open. Falling to his knees, he is utterly amazed to discover the source of that haunting and seductive sound......
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But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.
You ass. Lol
Great joke. I used it on the guests at the theme park I used to work at...never failed to get laughs (or groans)😁
Stupid.
This seems like a funnier joke to hear in person rather than read
I can't believe I read the whole thing and fell for it again.
It’s amazing how one joke can trigger the memory that leads to 10 more
These guys are great separately, but together they just knock it into outer space.
UP Trains 4012
UP Trains 4014 0’
UP Trains 4014 not so fond of Larry but love the others
UP Trains 4014 so true :)
Yes indeed!!!
I luv their laughs! I laugh so hard at them just being them.. the 4 of them are the best comedy I've ever seen.
Guy walks into a bar and asks for a shot of 12-year-old Scotch. Bartender tries to fool him with a shot of cheap bar Scotch. He drinks it, and says, "This is some cheap ass bar scotch...I want 12-year-old Scotch." Bartender gives him a shot of 6-year-old Scotch, but our Scotch expert is not fooled. "I want 12-year-old Scotch! Not 6, not 8, not 9 year old stuff!" Bartender gives him finally the 12-year-old stuff, our Scotch snob says, "Thank you, sir...very smooth."
Drunk at the end of the bar walks over and says, "Pretty good...here take a drink of this." The guy takes the glass and drinks the concoction. He looks over and says, "This shit tastes like piss!" The drunk said, "It is, now how old am I?"
The guy can't tell the difference be between sh*t and p*ss, but he sure knows his Scotch!
Not as good as the Long Island Duckling joke.
LMAOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
I just love these guys thank you so much for making me laugh so hard that I peed my pants
I could watch this forever just to watch Ron's reactions to everything. He was always WASTED by the time they got to this part of the show and you can tell because he almost falls off the stool a couple of times.
I’m down in this store in Kentucky. Just after you walk through the door, there’s a big sign in that says, “BEWARE OF DOG.” I look down and there’s this big bloodhound that’s just out of it. You couldn’t tell whether he was alive or dead. So I asked the owner of the store, “Does that sign come with that dog?”
He said, “Yeah, it does.”
I said, “That dog’s not hurting anybody.”
He said, “I know it. BEFORE I PUT THAT SIGN UP, PEOPLE KEPT TRIPPING OVER HIM!”
this hilarious!!!
a man and woman were walking through the forrest. they come apawn a dead skunk with a baby bundled up beside it she says awe it's little nose is cold he tells her to put it in her shirt to warm it up. bout 5 minutes goes by and she says it's little nose is still cold. he says well stick it down your pants. she says what about the smell. he says well hold its little nose
11caveman94 ... apawn?
@@JW...-oj5iw upon
@@axisfighter lol you corrected a corrector. That's gotta be a first in the Darwin catagory on u tuba
2 british friends play golf, and one of them makes an awesome play. He says "Do you have a pen? I want to write down how many hits I had before putting the ball." Friend gets out of his golfbag a huge pen. "Damn, where did you got that thing?" "Well, actually there is a small genie living inside my bag, he grants me wishes." "Bloody hell, can I try?" Looks into the bag and there he is..."uh, hi genie, can you please give me one million quid, now?" and even before ending his plead, all sorts of cephalopods, especially squids, begin to fall from the sky. "For damn's sake, what is wrong with you? I asked you for a million quid, you twat!" Friend comes along and says "oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you, genie is kind of deaf. You really think I asked him for a ten inch Bic?"
man walks into the vets office with a dog in his arms. He says to the vet, "There's something wrong with my dog." The vet checks him over and says, "Your dog is dead, sir." The man replies, "I want a second opinion." So the vet leaves and returns with a beautiful labrador retriever. The dog walks over and nudges it, paws at it, barks and leaves the room. The man asks, "What does that mean?" The doctor replies, "It means your dog is dead. The man replies, "I want another opinion." So the vet leaves and returns with a cat. The cat walks over nudges it, paws at it, jumps up on the window sill and purrs before falling asleep. The man asks, "What does that mean?" The doctor replies, "It means your dog is dead." "Fine, I believe my dog is dead. How much do I owe you?" "500 dollars." "500 bucks, what for?" "Well, you had the lab test and the cat scan."
+Trevor Boyll where it says car, it is supposed to be cat
clever
Trevor Boyll HA! I heard that one from a Catholic priest a couple years back!
Trevor Boyll ... use the three dots on the bottom right. click on it, then click on edit. put the cursor next to the 'r' and do a backspace. when the r is gone, enter a t. voilà!
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Alright guys, time for blonde jokes.
Two blondes, we'll call em Jill and Emily, are walking in the woods together. They come across a set of tracks. Jill says, "Those are dear tracks." And Emily says "What are you stupid? Those are coyote tracks." So they started arguing, and while they were doing so, the train ran over them.
I like that