the reason why I allowed my daughters to have a relationship with my mother is because I thought she had an issue with me only. And I wanted them to have a loving relationship with grandma like I did. Big mistake. It's been damaging for my relationship with them as my mother told them lies and all sorts of crap about me at every opportunity. They became rebellious during their adolescence after years of hearing this nonsense. It took years to heal the relationship, and this happened only because they are adults now and are able to see their grandma's true colours. She made parenting for me way more difficult as I didn't know what the true problem was. It doesn't help that your own mother is telling your children to not listen to you or do anything you say. She told them that I was abusive because I asked them to do house chores, she told them I was hypocrite because I tried to teach them values like respect and honesty, that are non-existing in my parents house. We are way better no contact.
I am so very sorry to hear this!Your experience with this, is exactly why narcissistic grandparents must be kept away from their grandchildren!I wish you more healing in all this!
Oh my goodness! I had to make sure I didn't write this myself a while back and forgot about it. This is 100% what's going on with my situations. She has played them against me. I'm hoping my kids will see the light one day as well. This gives hope. I feel like crying right now. I've been saying this and I just feel like it's been validated ....this is what's going on and I'm not making it up.
My story is exactly the same ,and for the same reasons. I allowed my 3children access to my NM-2 sons and 1 daughter. Now my adult daughter is narcisstic as well,and refuses to let me have contact with her 3 children, my grandchildren, saying that her grandmother is right ,and Iam the one at fault. Thank God my sons know how bad their grandmother is ,and we still are close. As for my daughter? She cut us all off,including her ex husband,and is now living her best life ALONE. But Iam heart broken because our family is forever 😞 broken.
I'm so worried about this 😢 My manipulative father is already sending his family members to plant the seed that even though my parents weren't great to me, they will be better grandparents. My gut is telling me to give them limited contact and to not leave my children alone with them AT ALL. This is so difficult 😪
My mom is 81, needs help due to aging, and is alone, and she only has 2 children myself being one and the only one in the state. I’m going no contact with her.
If you do a quick youtube search for 'handling your childrens relationships with narcissistic grandparents' there is not much out there. So thank you for your video. I have inlaws that are definitely not the worst but there is quite a bit of toxicity that has really damanged my husband. Luckily we are a united front and can see though tactics and cycles that occur. That being said it is so hard, because I still love them, my child does, and I dont want to take the relationship away. Your suggestion of a supervised relationship is just what we will have to continue to do.
My narc grandparent was kind to the grandchildren but played us off each other. She also was better to the grandkids than her children, to spite our parents. It was a psychological warzone.
I moved out at 19 and have supported myself financially ever since. Throughout my entire pregnancy my mother visited me once, I bought everything for the baby myself. I’m due now in a few weeks and I have just accepted that I will be a village of one when my partner finishes his paternity leave (both of his parents are sadly deceased). To anyone reading, I believe in us all and we can do this! I’m actually so excited for this new chapter in my life as difficult as it may be
I wish you all the best! May being a mum be everything you hope for and may the unconditional love you experience for that baby soothe your soul! You've got this! Hugs!
That’s my story exactly! 😢My daughter is 18 now and I have been a village of one all these years. My mother is rude and condescending to her, I protect my daughter by limiting contact. My mother didn’t help with anything. You be the Mother to your child that you didn’t have. It’s a gift and a privilege of sacrificial love. A deep love that comes from God. I am praying for you, Jesus is our best friend and the parent we never had. Trust in him and he will strengthen and support you! ❤ All my love
I grew up living with a covert narcissistic grandmother in the house. She was bitter, argumentative, could criticize others all day long but couldn’t handle any about herself, didn't have to lift a finger to keep her needs met, but all she ever did was complain. She never made any effort to find a hobby for herself and felt it was everyone else's job to keep her entertained. Especially me. Because as the only child in the narcissistic family system, I was forced into the role of golden child, scapegoat, caretaker, and lost child all at once. I suppose I would be okay with that if I was allowed to just walk away and shut the door, but I guess my mom was trauma-bonded to her because she quite literally was willing to go to whatever lengths to keep her happy. Which meant if grandma wanted to argue with me (and she loved to), I HAD to let her be right or else I was "disrespecting" her. She was incapable of minding her own business, so if she wanted to shoehorn herself into whatever I was doing, I couldn’t say no. I couldn’t do laundry or cook for myself without her making comments, trying to convince herself that I needed her help, trying to lecture me, or trying to get supply by making me explain to her every detail of every little thing I was doing. If she wanted to give me a lecture about how I wasn't good enough, I had no choice but to sit there and take the punches. Otherwise, she was going to sit around and sulk until she got her way, to which mom happily obliged.
My mother constantly badmouthed me, undermined me, and tried to turn my children against me when they were young 😭😡 She always wanted them to stay with her during school holidays even though I didn’t want them to go - but she lured them down with all sorts of wonderful plans, and I didn’t want to look like the evil one if I didn’t let them go 🥺 But it was none-stop criticising me to them when they were there, ‘interrogating’ them to try to find things she could use against me, and telling them how much better she was to them than me! 😡 “Your mummy should do this…. Your mummy shouldn’t do that…. I’d never ask you do chores! Remember you can always phone me if mummy is nasty to you!” 😡😭 When I phoned up to speak to them she’d say they were having far too much fun with HER to want to speak to ME - and whenever it was time for them to come home she would always pull some stunt like “Oh I’m SO sorry children! I was going to take you to the zoo next week, but mummy says you’ve got to go home tomorrow. And if mummy says you’ve got to go home… I know how disappointed you’re going to be, but it’s what mummy wants…” 🤬 When they were teenagers, she made out that I was some kind of slave driver asking them to do even basic household chores, and tell them SHE would never do that, and that I was just lazy - and should basically wait on them hand and foot! You can probably imagine the aggro that caused for me, given how difficult teenagers can be anyway! Discipline was SO difficult when they went moaning to her every time they didn’t get their own way - and of course she would always side with them 😭😡 I hate her SO much for for the damage she deliberately did (and tried to do) to the relationship between me and my children! And she was SO jealous! I remember picking them up one time, and as I was leaving, referring to my young daughter she spat at me “That little girl ADORES you!” And she was furious about it, and hated me for it! She even said I didn’t deserve it! I just couldn’t believe how jealous and resentful she was! Now my children are grown up, thankfully they can see her for what she really is… but I’m still scared that they think less of me because of it, think that I was a bad mother, or think that they had a bad childhood because of her poison. 🥺 They hardly ever speak to her these days, thankfully - so now she gets at me by singing the praises of my abusive, alcoholic ex-husband 😡 “He was SUCH a nice man!” She flatly refuses to believe he was abusive to me or the kids - and when I lost my cool with her a couple of weeks ago and told her exactly what he’d done, she accused both me and my daughter of lying! 😡😭 It hurts SO much that she will believe in and side with absolutely anyone but me! 😭 She even thought it was right that we lost our home when I divorced him! “Why SHOULD the wife always be the one to keep the house?”, she said! And she’s supposed to be my mother 🙄 And knew that I was unable to work through illness, and that he was earning £250k pa! I haven’t spoken to her since. I couldn’t believe she would accuse my daughter of lying about her dad abusing her! 😱🤬 Which on the one hand feels wonderfully liberating, but in the other makes me feel like an absolute bitch as she is nearly 90 and has incurable cancer 😕 But she does still have my 60 year-old brother (aka “he who can do no wrong”!) living with her 🙄😏 Sorry this was so long… but to anyone else with a similarly unloving, jealous, spiteful, vindictive creature for a mother - I wish I could give you a virtual hug, and try to convince you that you deserved SO much better 🥺😭🤗
Huge hugs to you and I am so sorry your 'mother' treated you and your children in such a nasty and manipulative way! I am glad they see her for what she is..Don't feel guilty you have distanced yourself from her. She doesn't deserve you!
Thank you for this video. I am 30 weeks pregnant and having been on my healing journey re my narcissistic mother for a while. It has been a very stressful time for me as I have not been involving her as much as she would like, and I’m in a space where I am contemplating no contact. But then the guilt is there about if I never let them meet my child. I have tried all other options, including low contact, but it just isn’t feasible with her. It is always good to have a reminder of the priorities and the likelihood that she isn’t going to change as a grandmother either
Clubbaz, hang in there. It must be so tough, I really feel for you at such a delicate time. Your priority now is your baby and your own sanity. The guilt will always crop up but you are protecting your child and that already makes you a brilliant mum. I wish you all the best. You've got this!
congrats on the bundle of joy and NO dont do as mommy dearest pleases!!!! dont even have her in the delivery follow YOUR heart YOUR desires they are demanding controlling and only care about themselves evil spirited and uses ppl like pawns not trying to stress you out just save you some regret and a bit more of advice....save money!!! life will happen and you will not want to fallback on 'family' for support during a crisis etc yes, grandparents typically have more disposable income and its tempting but DON'T MH will make a way sending love💚💥
my grandma has never been well. today i broke down crying due to something that i wont talk about here. My parents are looking into putting her into a facility and I am estranging myself from her. im so glad to know im not alone.
I didn't have kids, I knew my malignant narc mom would interfere psychologically & legally, make false accusations, or try to take my kids away using "grandparents' rights" and would speak poorly about me and others to the children.
The same, don't have kids due to the severe endometriosis, still blamed that if I really wanted it, I would do everything to have kids. My answer is that I didn't and still don't want to disembowel my body and risking worsening of the condition, to spread this super painful condition for further generations.
Can you please do a video on when you have a narcissistic grandparent, but your narcissistic parent doesn’t see it or want to admit it. My dad and his dad are both narcissist. I can’t seem to find information on this topic.
I hope you were able to find a solution. It's always to get away from them. But others guilt trip you into being the supply for these narcissists. People keep trying to persuade my kids to go and visit their narcissistic grandparents even though they are utterly spiteful to the kids dad, their oldest son, and they hate me so much their waking hours appear to be spent on turning my town against me and wanting me to fail. They even told me kids they could go there to use their computers if they wanted to and even watch porn! They care nothing for them but want to see them to gain supply. It's a ferocious world with these narcissistic horrors. Very difficult to battle at the rate you have to. 😕
I knew NOTHING about what was going on when my kids were born. I knew there was something wrong since they were born and there is no " not too bad, or partially NPD. But I learned nothing about NPD TILL 5 YEARS AGO. The damage was done.
My in laws used to drive past our house almost every day, from an outside village, and only called in when my husband needed to give them something or whatever. They never wanted to chat with the kids and when they saw them horrible comments were made about their weight... saying one was "porky" and the other was "underfed/too skinny". Even my husband... also a narcissist...told them to stop saying it because the kids were just different builds. They both ate healthily and the "skinny" one ate more than most of us. Later my husband left and encouraged his parents' hatred of me which was already present from the start anyway because they said i was "just a council house tenant". They had inherited a lot of money and that was a blessing they couldn't see. It wasn't appreciated, just expected. And it fed the class distinction sensation they enjoy. The kids would occasionally see them and immediately undermining would occur. The grandfather even told them both at different times that they could go and use the computers there and even view pornography if they wanted to! Thankfully they told me what he'd said! Now the kids are older they are starting to feel guilty about avoiding their grandparents because of what others may think and they don't want to do the wrong thing by avoiding them. But the hatred for me is dangerous in that house because I committed the grievous crime of defending myself and the kids whenever necessary. My name is absolute mud in town now, they even wrote a 4 page letter (a4) to the police saying i was abusive to my husband forcing him to leave, abusive to the kids, "just a council house tenant ", had never worked since i left school, was deliberately keeping myself in a disabled state just because of a fibroid...etc etc etc. His version of my life was twisted right out of shape. It was actually the police who told my husband to leave because he was so aggressive, i worked the moment I left school, and beyond until a car accident where my spine was cracked. I had to stop work eventually due to pain and mobility problems. Yes, I was raised on a council estate and when I left home I rented privately and then later bought a property. I have no issue at all with council houses. They're actually pretty well made normally. And so on. My father-in-law sent me a copy of the letter which was so unbelievably distressing. I phoned the police to ask them if it was something they wanted to see me about but they said that if he had sent it to them they didn't keep it. There was nothing in it that they had any legal obligation to deal with and it just seemed very spiteful. I asked what to do as i kept receiving menacing emails from him basically wanting me to move our of our house and into a council property! The police told me to warn him that it would be dealt with legally if he didn't stop, and then stop replying to him. So I did. But i heard recently that he mentioned about sending another letter to someone else about me. But people keep saying the kids need to go and see them! They're now old enough to choose and they are considering it because they feel pressured by others making them feel guilty. I am really anxious over it. They haven't decided fully whether to but I know it won't help anything and could actually inflame the situation. Im really nervous and feel sick thinking about it! How can I advise them without sounding over the top? The grandmother keeps crying to people saying she never gets to see her grandchildren! She doesn't say that she has never bothered phoning them, visiting, building a loving relationship and that she hates their low class mother. She just turns on tears from somewhere and they pity her then try to pressure the kids to go there! Toxicity everywhere! 😕
Grandparents don’t have the right to pressure their grandchildren to see them, especially if they aren’t willingly doing so. If your grandkids dont want to see them, nobody else’s opinion matters.
i’m not sure if you will see this, but what should i do. i’m still a minor living with my family and my grandma(from my dads side) and she criticized very silently about my mom and its going to far that i start crying everyday not knowing what i should do because i want my parents to both be happy together but i think about all the bad possibilitys. my moms also really stressed and depressed.
I am sorry to hear that your grandma is creating problems and your mother is depressed. Can you talk to anybody else in your family, maybe an auntie or cousin? or a teacher at school? Someone that can help you feel supported?
I appreciate this video and see how a similar situation has played out in my own life with narcissistic parents. I do know of cases though when a narcissistic spouse influences a spouse to keep the spouses parents away and I hope there’s no one in this comment area that has fallen prey, to narcissistic relationship with a spouse or partner.
I wish my dad would find his new source of narcissistic supply since getting divorced. He’s trying to make my son his new source and I’m not okay with that
My parents groomed my daughter and are turning her into a narcissist. My parents do not respect me, undermine my authority as a mom, and oppose anything I say or suggest. My child has been put on a pedestal and rewarded by her grandparents, my mom and dad, for going along with the narrative that it is okay to lie to me, talk to me like I am a piece of trash, and omit the helpful advice I give.
I was just served court papers from my narcissistic father. He is wanting grandparent time with my 3 year old son which I would NEVER be okay with. He unsafe. Just not sure how to prove this in court because I deleted all traces of him from my life and phone when I decided it was time for good to cut him out of my life.
I have no choice i live with them. Im saving for migration right now but its gonna take some time. Pray for me. Luckily hes 2 and by the time we leave he will be way to young to remember them at all.
the reason why I allowed my daughters to have a relationship with my mother is because I thought she had an issue with me only. And I wanted them to have a loving relationship with grandma like I did. Big mistake. It's been damaging for my relationship with them as my mother told them lies and all sorts of crap about me at every opportunity. They became rebellious during their adolescence after years of hearing this nonsense. It took years to heal the relationship, and this happened only because they are adults now and are able to see their grandma's true colours. She made parenting for me way more difficult as I didn't know what the true problem was. It doesn't help that your own mother is telling your children to not listen to you or do anything you say. She told them that I was abusive because I asked them to do house chores, she told them I was hypocrite because I tried to teach them values like respect and honesty, that are non-existing in my parents house. We are way better no contact.
I am so very sorry to hear this!Your experience with this, is exactly why narcissistic grandparents must be kept away from their grandchildren!I wish you more healing in all this!
Oh my goodness! I had to make sure I didn't write this myself a while back and forgot about it. This is 100% what's going on with my situations. She has played them against me. I'm hoping my kids will see the light one day as well. This gives hope. I feel like crying right now. I've been saying this and I just feel like it's been validated ....this is what's going on and I'm not making it up.
I m so sorry ❤
My story is exactly the same ,and for the same reasons. I allowed my 3children access to my NM-2 sons and 1 daughter. Now my adult daughter is narcisstic as well,and refuses to let me have contact with her 3 children, my grandchildren, saying that her grandmother is right ,and Iam the one at fault. Thank God my sons know how bad their grandmother is ,and we still are close. As for my daughter? She cut us all off,including her ex husband,and is now living her best life ALONE. But Iam heart broken because our family is forever 😞 broken.
I'm so worried about this 😢 My manipulative father is already sending his family members to plant the seed that even though my parents weren't great to me, they will be better grandparents. My gut is telling me to give them limited contact and to not leave my children alone with them AT ALL. This is so difficult 😪
Thanks, I just reconnected with my 92 year old mother after 20 years. Within 6 months I regret it.
They don't change
@@motivationstartsnow They change for worse becoming overt evil monsters without a mask!
WHT HAPPENED?
My mom is 81, needs help due to aging, and is alone, and she only has 2 children myself being one and the only one in the state. I’m going no contact with her.
At the first sentence I was like wow good for you then it took a turn😂
If you do a quick youtube search for 'handling your childrens relationships with narcissistic grandparents' there is not much out there. So thank you for your video. I have inlaws that are definitely not the worst but there is quite a bit of toxicity that has really damanged my husband. Luckily we are a united front and can see though tactics and cycles that occur. That being said it is so hard, because I still love them, my child does, and I dont want to take the relationship away. Your suggestion of a supervised relationship is just what we will have to continue to do.
My narc grandparent was kind to the grandchildren but played us off each other. She also was better to the grandkids than her children, to spite our parents. It was a psychological warzone.
I moved out at 19 and have supported myself financially ever since. Throughout my entire pregnancy my mother visited me once, I bought everything for the baby myself. I’m due now in a few weeks and I have just accepted that I will be a village of one when my partner finishes his paternity leave (both of his parents are sadly deceased). To anyone reading, I believe in us all and we can do this! I’m actually so excited for this new chapter in my life as difficult as it may be
I wish you all the best! May being a mum be everything you hope for and may the unconditional love you experience for that baby soothe your soul! You've got this! Hugs!
@@CourageCoaching Thank you so much, that’s incredibly kind ❤️
@ItsNicola You will be a village of one but you will be at PEACE. (Hugs)
@@anamartinez7489 exactly ❤️
That’s my story exactly! 😢My daughter is 18 now and I have been a village of one all these years. My mother is rude and condescending to her, I protect my daughter by limiting contact. My mother didn’t help with anything.
You be the Mother to your child that you didn’t have. It’s a gift and a privilege of sacrificial love. A deep love that comes from God. I am praying for you, Jesus is our best friend and the parent we never had. Trust in him and he will strengthen and support you! ❤ All my love
I grew up living with a covert narcissistic grandmother in the house. She was bitter, argumentative, could criticize others all day long but couldn’t handle any about herself, didn't have to lift a finger to keep her needs met, but all she ever did was complain. She never made any effort to find a hobby for herself and felt it was everyone else's job to keep her entertained. Especially me. Because as the only child in the narcissistic family system, I was forced into the role of golden child, scapegoat, caretaker, and lost child all at once.
I suppose I would be okay with that if I was allowed to just walk away and shut the door, but I guess my mom was trauma-bonded to her because she quite literally was willing to go to whatever lengths to keep her happy. Which meant if grandma wanted to argue with me (and she loved to), I HAD to let her be right or else I was "disrespecting" her. She was incapable of minding her own business, so if she wanted to shoehorn herself into whatever I was doing, I couldn’t say no. I couldn’t do laundry or cook for myself without her making comments, trying to convince herself that I needed her help, trying to lecture me, or trying to get supply by making me explain to her every detail of every little thing I was doing. If she wanted to give me a lecture about how I wasn't good enough, I had no choice but to sit there and take the punches. Otherwise, she was going to sit around and sulk until she got her way, to which mom happily obliged.
I am so sorry you had to go through this and your mum was too trauma bonded to protect you
My mother constantly badmouthed me, undermined me, and tried to turn my children against me when they were young 😭😡 She always wanted them to stay with her during school holidays even though I didn’t want them to go - but she lured them down with all sorts of wonderful plans, and I didn’t want to look like the evil one if I didn’t let them go 🥺
But it was none-stop criticising me to them when they were there, ‘interrogating’ them to try to find things she could use against me, and telling them how much better she was to them than me! 😡 “Your mummy should do this…. Your mummy shouldn’t do that…. I’d never ask you do chores! Remember you can always phone me if mummy is nasty to you!” 😡😭
When I phoned up to speak to them she’d say they were having far too much fun with HER to want to speak to ME - and whenever it was time for them to come home she would always pull some stunt like “Oh I’m SO sorry children! I was going to take you to the zoo next week, but mummy says you’ve got to go home tomorrow. And if mummy says you’ve got to go home… I know how disappointed you’re going to be, but it’s what mummy wants…” 🤬
When they were teenagers, she made out that I was some kind of slave driver asking them to do even basic household chores, and tell them SHE would never do that, and that I was just lazy - and should basically wait on them hand and foot! You can probably imagine the aggro that caused for me, given how difficult teenagers can be anyway! Discipline was SO difficult when they went moaning to her every time they didn’t get their own way - and of course she would always side with them 😭😡
I hate her SO much for for the damage she deliberately did (and tried to do) to the relationship between me and my children!
And she was SO jealous! I remember picking them up one time, and as I was leaving, referring to my young daughter she spat at me “That little girl ADORES you!” And she was furious about it, and hated me for it! She even said I didn’t deserve it! I just couldn’t believe how jealous and resentful she was!
Now my children are grown up, thankfully they can see her for what she really is… but I’m still scared that they think less of me because of it, think that I was a bad mother, or think that they had a bad childhood because of her poison. 🥺
They hardly ever speak to her these days, thankfully - so now she gets at me by singing the praises of my abusive, alcoholic ex-husband 😡 “He was SUCH a nice man!” She flatly refuses to believe he was abusive to me or the kids - and when I lost my cool with her a couple of weeks ago and told her exactly what he’d done, she accused both me and my daughter of lying! 😡😭 It hurts SO much that she will believe in and side with absolutely anyone but me! 😭 She even thought it was right that we lost our home when I divorced him! “Why SHOULD the wife always be the one to keep the house?”, she said! And she’s supposed to be my mother 🙄 And knew that I was unable to work through illness, and that he was earning £250k pa!
I haven’t spoken to her since. I couldn’t believe she would accuse my daughter of lying about her dad abusing her! 😱🤬 Which on the one hand feels wonderfully liberating, but in the other makes me feel like an absolute bitch as she is nearly 90 and has incurable cancer 😕
But she does still have my 60 year-old brother (aka “he who can do no wrong”!) living with her 🙄😏
Sorry this was so long… but to anyone else with a similarly unloving, jealous, spiteful, vindictive creature for a mother - I wish I could give you a virtual hug, and try to convince you that you deserved SO much better 🥺😭🤗
Huge hugs to you and I am so sorry your 'mother' treated you and your children in such a nasty and manipulative way! I am glad they see her for what she is..Don't feel guilty you have distanced yourself from her. She doesn't deserve you!
@@CourageCoaching Thank you - that makes me feel a lot better about my decision, as I’ve been really struggling with it the last day or two
Thank you for this video. I am 30 weeks pregnant and having been on my healing journey re my narcissistic mother for a while. It has been a very stressful time for me as I have not been involving her as much as she would like, and I’m in a space where I am contemplating no contact. But then the guilt is there about if I never let them meet my child. I have tried all other options, including low contact, but it just isn’t feasible with her. It is always good to have a reminder of the priorities and the likelihood that she isn’t going to change as a grandmother either
Clubbaz, hang in there. It must be so tough, I really feel for you at such a delicate time. Your priority now is your baby and your own sanity. The guilt will always crop up but you are protecting your child and that already makes you a brilliant mum. I wish you all the best. You've got this!
Thank you ❤️❤️
congrats on the bundle of joy
and
NO
dont do as mommy dearest pleases!!!!
dont even have her in the delivery
follow YOUR heart YOUR desires
they are demanding controlling and only care about themselves
evil spirited and uses ppl like pawns
not trying to stress you out
just save you some regret
and a bit more of advice....save money!!!
life will happen and you will not want to fallback on 'family' for support during a crisis etc
yes, grandparents typically have more disposable income and its tempting
but DON'T
MH will make a way
sending love💚💥
Thank you ❤
How do you deal with your mother if she demands to see your child?
Thank you so much ❤
I needed this video so badly!!! Thank you for talking about this very important subject! I now know what to do!!!!❤
Me too ❤❤
my grandma has never been well. today i broke down crying due to something that i wont talk about here. My parents are looking into putting her into a facility and I am estranging myself from her. im so glad to know im not alone.
Keep them away or they will turn them against you.
I didn't have kids, I knew my malignant narc mom would interfere psychologically & legally, make false accusations, or try to take my kids away using "grandparents' rights" and would speak poorly about me and others to the children.
I am sorry for your experience! It is indeed very difficult when you have to worry about how your parents would interfere.
The same, don't have kids due to the severe endometriosis, still blamed that if I really wanted it, I would do everything to have kids. My answer is that I didn't and still don't want to disembowel my body and risking worsening of the condition, to spread this super painful condition for further generations.
Gawd thank you
I needed to watch this so much today. Thank you.
Can you please do a video on when you have a narcissistic grandparent, but your narcissistic parent doesn’t see it or want to admit it. My dad and his dad are both narcissist. I can’t seem to find information on this topic.
I hope you were able to find a solution. It's always to get away from them. But others guilt trip you into being the supply for these narcissists. People keep trying to persuade my kids to go and visit their narcissistic grandparents even though they are utterly spiteful to the kids dad, their oldest son, and they hate me so much their waking hours appear to be spent on turning my town against me and wanting me to fail. They even told me kids they could go there to use their computers if they wanted to and even watch porn! They care nothing for them but want to see them to gain supply.
It's a ferocious world with these narcissistic horrors. Very difficult to battle at the rate you have to. 😕
I knew NOTHING about what was going on when my kids were born. I knew there was something wrong since they were born and there is no " not too bad, or partially NPD. But I learned nothing about NPD TILL 5 YEARS AGO. The damage was done.
Excellent points!
My in laws used to drive past our house almost every day, from an outside village, and only called in when my husband needed to give them something or whatever. They never wanted to chat with the kids and when they saw them horrible comments were made about their weight... saying one was "porky" and the other was "underfed/too skinny". Even my husband... also a narcissist...told them to stop saying it because the kids were just different builds. They both ate healthily and the "skinny" one ate more than most of us.
Later my husband left and encouraged his parents' hatred of me which was already present from the start anyway because they said i was "just a council house tenant". They had inherited a lot of money and that was a blessing they couldn't see. It wasn't appreciated, just expected. And it fed the class distinction sensation they enjoy.
The kids would occasionally see them and immediately undermining would occur. The grandfather even told them both at different times that they could go and use the computers there and even view pornography if they wanted to!
Thankfully they told me what he'd said!
Now the kids are older they are starting to feel guilty about avoiding their grandparents because of what others may think and they don't want to do the wrong thing by avoiding them. But the hatred for me is dangerous in that house because I committed the grievous crime of defending myself and the kids whenever necessary. My name is absolute mud in town now, they even wrote a 4 page letter (a4) to the police saying i was abusive to my husband forcing him to leave, abusive to the kids, "just a council house tenant ", had never worked since i left school, was deliberately keeping myself in a disabled state just because of a fibroid...etc etc etc. His version of my life was twisted right out of shape.
It was actually the police who told my husband to leave because he was so aggressive, i worked the moment I left school, and beyond until a car accident where my spine was cracked. I had to stop work eventually due to pain and mobility problems. Yes, I was raised on a council estate and when I left home I rented privately and then later bought a property. I have no issue at all with council houses. They're actually pretty well made normally.
And so on.
My father-in-law sent me a copy of the letter which was so unbelievably distressing. I phoned the police to ask them if it was something they wanted to see me about but they said that if he had sent it to them they didn't keep it. There was nothing in it that they had any legal obligation to deal with and it just seemed very spiteful. I asked what to do as i kept receiving menacing emails from him basically wanting me to move our of our house and into a council property!
The police told me to warn him that it would be dealt with legally if he didn't stop, and then stop replying to him. So I did.
But i heard recently that he mentioned about sending another letter to someone else about me.
But people keep saying the kids need to go and see them! They're now old enough to choose and they are considering it because they feel pressured by others making them feel guilty. I am really anxious over it. They haven't decided fully whether to but I know it won't help anything and could actually inflame the situation. Im really nervous and feel sick thinking about it!
How can I advise them without sounding over the top? The grandmother keeps crying to people saying she never gets to see her grandchildren! She doesn't say that she has never bothered phoning them, visiting, building a loving relationship and that she hates their low class mother. She just turns on tears from somewhere and they pity her then try to pressure the kids to go there!
Toxicity everywhere! 😕
Grandparents don’t have the right to pressure their grandchildren to see them, especially if they aren’t willingly doing so. If your grandkids dont want to see them, nobody else’s opinion matters.
i’m not sure if you will see this, but what should i do. i’m still a minor living with my family and my grandma(from my dads side) and she criticized very silently about my mom and its going to far that i start crying everyday not knowing what i should do because i want my parents to both be happy together but i think about all the bad possibilitys. my moms also really stressed and depressed.
I am sorry to hear that your grandma is creating problems and your mother is depressed. Can you talk to anybody else in your family, maybe an auntie or cousin? or a teacher at school? Someone that can help you feel supported?
@@CourageCoachingno but it’s alright, it all worked out in the end, but i personally will not become close to my grandma just for my mental health
I appreciate this video and see how a similar situation has played out in my own life with narcissistic parents. I do know of cases though when a narcissistic spouse influences a spouse to keep the spouses parents away and I hope there’s no one in this comment area that has fallen prey, to narcissistic relationship with a spouse or partner.
Thank you so much I really needed to hear this. I cut off my parents because its too much and I dont want my children to deal with this 😢
I needed this so much 🙌
Thank you
I wish my dad would find his new source of narcissistic supply since getting divorced. He’s trying to make my son his new source and I’m not okay with that
My parents groomed my daughter and are turning her into a narcissist. My parents do not respect me, undermine my authority as a mom, and oppose anything I say or suggest. My child has been put on a pedestal and rewarded by her grandparents, my mom and dad, for going along with the narrative that it is okay to lie to me, talk to me like I am a piece of trash, and omit the helpful advice I give.
@@lindarosas8457 I am sorry to hear this!
I think my parent might be into witchcraft and try to initiate them. I'm terrified 😢
I was just served court papers from my narcissistic father. He is wanting grandparent time with my 3 year old son which I would NEVER be okay with. He unsafe. Just not sure how to prove this in court because I deleted all traces of him from my life and phone when I decided it was time for good to cut him out of my life.
So sorry to hear this Danielle! How awful for you! Stand you ground!
It’s a hard no from me.
How about narcissistic parents refuse to acknowledge your children?
Yes that also happens, unfortunately.
Me! Its halarious to me but they keep distant
I'm going to lie and say they are adopted or something. That way, they won't care to see them 😅
I have no choice i live with them. Im saving for migration right now but its gonna take some time. Pray for me.
@@Lady420Ganja I wish you strength!
I have no choice i live with them. Im saving for migration right now but its gonna take some time. Pray for me. Luckily hes 2 and by the time we leave he will be way to young to remember them at all.
I want them out of my life. And my mids but they threatening court.
I am so sorry