Is He Love Bombing Or Is He Serious?

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  • Опубліковано 11 січ 2025

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  • @JonathonAslay
    @JonathonAslay  Рік тому

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  • @rozannakuykendall60
    @rozannakuykendall60 Рік тому +28

    I recently met someone younger than me. It felt a little strange as I haven't been on a date in almost 5 years. Working on me and family related obligations. I was so nervous. What happened was conversation, dinner, and dancing. We are approaching this as a friendship just now. Weirdly enough we actually talked (with each other) almost the whole night. I am not sure where this is heading, I am just enjoying the company right now. We have been having an amazing time. I am 64 and he is 51. 🤷‍♀️

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Рік тому +5

      There's nothing wrong

    • @julesmeyeri2056
      @julesmeyeri2056 Рік тому

      When U know deep down U know and sometimes people just have other things going on in the meantime and now isn't the right time but they probably won't really go away

    • @julesmeyeri2056
      @julesmeyeri2056 Рік тому +1

      Imagine the other person was here with U right now and how U wouldn't honestly want that and then U will be fine by yourself a while longer 😊

    • @rozannakuykendall60
      @rozannakuykendall60 Рік тому +2

      @@JonathonAslay I feel like regardless of the outcome, I will have an amazing friend.

    • @Tbn48ibp
      @Tbn48ibp Рік тому

      You gooooo girl. Have fun !!!!

  • @suzayer
    @suzayer Рік тому +8

    I've associated "love bombing" with scammers. I've had a couple bad experiences and am now suspicious of anyone being this way.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Рік тому

      I understand

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 9 місяців тому

      Suzayer, indeed scammers and users.
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft

    • @noreenespinoza824
      @noreenespinoza824 2 місяці тому

      I’ve had scammers that were asking me to be fb friends. They sweet talk you, and the next thing they are giving you a sad story and asking for money.

  • @SuzieQ7983
    @SuzieQ7983 Рік тому +7

    My ex husband love bombed me. He was handsome and charismatic. My family adored him. We got married at one year. The marriage was over as soon as it happened. I was wife #3. My advice to women out there is if you meet someone who’s cheated on his ex’s “run Forrest run.”

    • @Tbn48ibp
      @Tbn48ibp Рік тому +1

      I had a guy in my life and he cheated on his wife of 41 years with a prostitute at a truck stop I couldn’t believe he even told me. I didn’t even ask. He just was sharing his past bad mistakes. I could tell it really bothered him and he felt guilty. But he said it was just one time and I just don’t buy it! He had a marriage without too much affection and he’s a needy guy whose eyes wonder if ya catch my drift. I don’t believe him when he said it was just the one time

    • @Tbn48ibp
      @Tbn48ibp Рік тому

      The other issue is we got along so great. Wanted the same things. Both church going and good parents thst had raised good kids, but his stories wouldn’t match, I often got love bombed then he would fall off the radar for 6 hours at a time and I’d see him stare down young girls. He confessed he used to be addicted to porn. In my gut I just don’t feel right about him. I started keeping track of his “radar moments” so I could see a pattern. A few times I checked his phone and he had more lady friends than guy friends. It was all about what he wanted and he was way too involved with his family and friends to the point I felt breadcrumbed. A very well liked guy, charismatic like your guy but my gut kept telling me don’t trust him!! I still talk to him occasionally and he begs me to
      Go
      Back to
      Him. So I need to
      Maybe get some coaching with Jonathan and figure out why I second guess myself and my intuition

    • @estherdistefano6997
      @estherdistefano6997 11 місяців тому

      I woud never date, Let alone marry someone who cheats or has cheated on their ex partners.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 9 місяців тому +1

      ​​​​​@@Tbn48ibp Indeed. Wandering eye and wandering zipper. Exactly, don't believe anything . The no filters guys make it easy to weed them out quickly or you can make a valued judgement based on the information. I'm allergic to liars and cheaters.

  • @sherriflemming3218
    @sherriflemming3218 Рік тому +10

    We feel safe when we're in a healthy relationship.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Рік тому +2

      Exactly

    • @Theinfamouskiki411
      @Theinfamouskiki411 Рік тому +2

      I felt unsafe for 5 yrs in my old relationship and not trying to repeat the same mistakes!

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 Рік тому +2

      Yes, we all try not to repeat the same mistakes. Lessons repeat until you learn. Don't stay in relationships you aren't safe in. Without trust, there is no relationship.

  • @lindym9450
    @lindym9450 Рік тому +5

    Went on a date and the guy ranted for 20 solid minutes about all his accomplishments. He kept talking over me when I started to say things about myself. He also kept passing gas loudly at the dinner table. He basically stuck his phone in my face while talking. I was so bored to tears I felt like walking out. At the end of our 1.5 hrs I said we have nothing in common so bye bye. He was offended and said I have a problem. What?? OMG. He even had the nerve to ask if he could come to my place for coffee after the date!!!

    • @Tbn48ibp
      @Tbn48ibp Рік тому +1

      I had a date like that. Well two like that and I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 Рік тому +3

      Grandiose.arrogant &, obnoxious . No class or manners. Trying hard to impress with accomplishments.
      Accustomed to getting what he wants. Very poor social skills. Looking for a hookup. Gaslighting that you're the problem.
      Bravo for calling them out. 👍 Exit stage right.ASAP.
      It's not necessary to be polite or stick around. These types of offensive men are aware of their behavior.
      Indeed many men think they're superior to women.

    • @eleanormartin6923
      @eleanormartin6923 Рік тому +2

      Gee how bad. Yes when you want to get up and walk- DO IT. So unrespectful. Men think they are still above women. Obviously no values to be so rude. You were right, nothing in common.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 9 місяців тому

      Many men consider themselves superior to women. Indeed. Get up and leave ASAP.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 9 місяців тому

      ​​​@@eleanormartin6923 Indeed. Braggarts. Rude and very poor relationship skills.
      Grandiose.

  • @livelearnandgrow5422
    @livelearnandgrow5422 Рік тому +5

    I went on a date one time with a guy just talked talk talk about his self. I said, do you wanna know anything about me? He said it will all come out in the wash. I said stop the car you’re on spin cycle and I’m getting out of the car and I got out.

    • @Theinfamouskiki411
      @Theinfamouskiki411 Рік тому +2

      Im.on dating apps and I ask questions then nothing back....I unmatch and move on. This isnt a one sided interrogation! Ask me something too. Lots of men don't know how to carry a simple conversation it's weird

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 9 місяців тому

      What are men chasing?

  • @robinemery
    @robinemery Рік тому +7

    Agreed, im not afraid to call out an ass😂 covering my heart❤️

  • @vickygambardella7174
    @vickygambardella7174 Рік тому +5

    you should write another book with all your video 'shorts' as the chapters. The questions you ask us to ask ourselves are SO VERY important!

  • @celiaescalante
    @celiaescalante Рік тому +1

    I'm all over the map, Jonathon. Mingling, friend zoning, being friend zoned, relationship with my cellphone, but my self-love is thriving!

  • @bcbodybetter
    @bcbodybetter Рік тому +1

    Another great night w JA! I gained a more disciplined filter from your view w love bombing. Every time I've been swayed was because of Love bombing. My days of being easy are no more. Thank you! 🙏

  • @Tbn48ibp
    @Tbn48ibp Рік тому +4

    Jonathan when you do your “sit back in feminine energy thing” with your hands moving about it cracks me up!!

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 Рік тому +3

    I agree with calling people out on their shit.

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 Рік тому +2

    Yes it’s true about us being afraid of strangers.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 9 місяців тому

      Cautious with strangers. In this world verify everything.

    • @noreenespinoza824
      @noreenespinoza824 2 місяці тому

      We teach our children that…stranger danger!

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 Рік тому +1

    I agree so many people are caught up in their own world and I agree women are no picnic either

  • @jodaisy113
    @jodaisy113 Рік тому

    “Myopic behavior is a behavior based on the pursuance of short-term results and represents an action in regards to what one wants now, without taking into account any future consequences” 🥰

  • @Theinfamouskiki411
    @Theinfamouskiki411 Рік тому +2

    As for attraction it may vary but for me if I am not physically attracted to you it wont work. Not height or stuff like that but overall attraction. I have to feel that sense of draw physically.

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 Рік тому +1

    I have seen this it’s a form of coercion and should not be tolerated

  • @noreenespinoza824
    @noreenespinoza824 2 місяці тому

    I visited my LDR boyfriend this past September into October. We were under one roof for one week. We did things together but when it came to have intimate time or conversation, it wasn’t there. Most of his time, he was on his phone on Facebook, you tube. I asked him, can you get off your phone so we can have a conversation? When I asked him about how he feels about me, he says, he has no feelings period. But his actions are louder than his words. I believe, he cares and loves me but is fearful. This was our first time together sexually. He also said to me after a kiss, “til death do us part”.

  • @rozannakuykendall60
    @rozannakuykendall60 Рік тому +2

    I don't mind calling someone out. I do try not to be hateful or hurtful. I definitely get my point across.

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 Рік тому +2

    Trust is so important

  • @noreenespinoza824
    @noreenespinoza824 2 місяці тому

    I met my guy by he walking up to my table at a reunion and we are still friends, LDR still. It’s complicated.

  • @mandikelley7327
    @mandikelley7327 11 місяців тому

    What is hard is im. So used to the love bombing. In with someone that is not live bombing. And don't know how to handle it.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 9 місяців тому

      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker is a PhD in human behavior.
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
      Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud
      Are their actions and words aligned?
      Ask the leading questions. Pay attention to their actions. How they treat you. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record
      Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast.

  • @Tbn48ibp
    @Tbn48ibp Рік тому +2

    We are no picnic but we can be a gourmet 5 course Waldorf Astoria dinner when/if we are treated right. 😂

  • @taihicks1001
    @taihicks1001 Рік тому +4

    Another great video!! Keep dropping these gems!!

  • @Leila2023_
    @Leila2023_ Рік тому +9

    why do we like the sexual attention? because we have a sex drive too.. we get horny too. it's fun. but.. I'm really glad i found your channel. I'm being more selective now. i recently met someone who's serious. he's not at all coming from the sexual motivation. it's refreshing actually. he's 5 years younger than me but more mature than most men I've met since starting dating.

  • @sherrymarshall4243
    @sherrymarshall4243 Рік тому +4

    Great advice! Been with a love bomber before

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Рік тому

      🙏

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 9 місяців тому +1

      We all know the lovebombers.and future fakers.
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Safe People by Henry Cloud

  • @sherrymarshall4243
    @sherrymarshall4243 Рік тому +1

    Yes Jonathan I will be calling people out

  • @Tbn48ibp
    @Tbn48ibp Рік тому +2

    If he’s all fluff …runnnnn forest run!! Yes it is sinking in. Thanks Jonathan. You’re the best and have helped me so much

  • @celiaescalante
    @celiaescalante Рік тому

    I met three guys at the same social gathering. 😭. I have no clue how to know what to do with this situation. I'm not even focused on special moments with these guys.

  • @RoseMoke
    @RoseMoke Рік тому

    Love struggled makes sturbon💞. Really feel the love❤

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 Рік тому

    That is an excellent point about being validated.

  • @givemefreedom8638
    @givemefreedom8638 Рік тому +3

    I wish I had been on this live chat. I did exactly what you said Jonathon. There was a guy at the gym I thought was cute. After seeing him a few times I went over and started talking to him. We did that a couple times. Super friendly easy talking too. Then next time I casually asked are you seeing anyone? He said yes, for 13 years living with a gal. We finished the chat and I was glad to finally find out and be done with it. shame too cause we really hit it off, talking and laughing so easily. Better not to waste much time on this kind of stuff.

  • @moonstonemystic
    @moonstonemystic Рік тому

    LOL I saved for watch later, and am now seriously considering downloading this to play on repeat! 🤣

    • @moonstonemystic
      @moonstonemystic Рік тому

      I've not watched for a while and had forgotten about Connor. I've experienced the death of a child (my sister when she was an infant) so I know how hard that is. I bet he's really proud of all you've accomplished and all you're doing in his name.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Рік тому

      Lol 😆

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Рік тому

      I hope so. Thank you for the kind words 🙏

  • @Theinfamouskiki411
    @Theinfamouskiki411 Рік тому +1

    Is it me but i ask questions point blank. Im very straightforward before we dive into talking and all that. At times I see we want different things so I nicely tell them hey im.looking for something serious and you are not and its cool. We need to move on before we continue.
    I have had several men get upset and lecture me about how im unrealistic and not gonna find a man...excuse me???!!! Ummm....im floored. I dont lecture men about not wanting a relationship or wanting a hook up. I say not for me. Nice meeting you bye. This is very disheartening😢 im grown i dont need someone trying to tear me down just cause we want different things! I got real discouraged but i come here and feel yes im worth it and its not crazy to want to get to know someone before jumping into bed.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 Рік тому

      They're not good boyfriend or husband material.
      These are misaligned men. End of story.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 9 місяців тому

      Don't allow men to define your standards or coerce you. This is gaslighting and negging. You don't require their unsolicited advice for what's right for you. .
      Good for you for calling them out!
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker

  • @anabarajas3914
    @anabarajas3914 Рік тому +1

    Questions why be so confrontive if they talk about themselves too much. Why not just let them go after the first talk. That sounds safer and kinder

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 Рік тому

      It's a good idea to call them out on their shit Create awareness and indicate your standards boundaries a bs detector and a backbone.
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker

  • @susanharrie3326
    @susanharrie3326 Рік тому +1

    ❤Merry Christmas

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 Рік тому

    You nailed it. I hate small talk

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 Рік тому

    I agree with informal meetings

  • @Tbn48ibp
    @Tbn48ibp Рік тому

    3.2.1.3. I get it. I like it. I agree. I will do it!!

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 Рік тому

    You can’t force chemistry I agree

  • @rozannakuykendall60
    @rozannakuykendall60 Рік тому +1

    Great information at a perfect time.

  • @Cooking4health-2025
    @Cooking4health-2025 Рік тому

    You look great in red!

  • @eleanormartin6923
    @eleanormartin6923 Рік тому

    Suzie good advice

  • @faraboverubies2526
    @faraboverubies2526 Рік тому

    I think this is your best one.

  • @robinemery
    @robinemery Рік тому +2

    😂😂😂😂 i love your way!

  • @RosemaryBrewington
    @RosemaryBrewington 11 місяців тому

    That is not true for me❤

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 Рік тому

    Excellent video Jonathon ❤

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 Рік тому

    Yes your 3s suggestions are good

  • @charmagnepoteet2349
    @charmagnepoteet2349 Рік тому

    Thank you Johnathon. All good advice.

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 Рік тому

    Thank you Jonathon this was an excellent video

  • @mojosloftcloset3265
    @mojosloftcloset3265 Рік тому +2

    After 3 emails a long distance prospect was asking if I am being exclusive to him because he has cut off all other communication with other women because hecthonks im special. It was so sudden it scared me and I cut him off and told him i have no trust in this relationship because its long distance . I think he is lonely because his wife died 5 years ago so he's in a hurry but he doesn't even know me . I don't want to be exclusive when I haven't even met him. Do you think I did the right thing cutting him off?

    • @cheryljohnson380
      @cheryljohnson380 Рік тому +1

      Heck yea!!! That's creepy wierd! 😮

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 Рік тому +2

      Hell yes! Smart woman. Exactly no trust.
      He could be espousing this rhetoric to many women online. No call or video chat to verify. It's not real until you're in person and over a considerable time spent together in person.
      Have a listen to Jonathons and Evan Mark Katz informative podcasts on long distance. Proximity equals continuity. Abundance is in the city we live in.! Real and grownup relationships are in person.!
      Long distance is easy. It's low maintenance. Out of sight out of mind.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Рік тому +2

      Most likely...

    • @suzayer
      @suzayer Рік тому +1

      Scammer

    • @mojosloftcloset3265
      @mojosloftcloset3265 Рік тому

      I saw this Dr Phil show where women are victims of online dating scams and it's very sad. They get their hearts broken . Fake pictures, fake profiles, fake love bombing...

  • @livelearnandgrow5422
    @livelearnandgrow5422 Рік тому

    I love your vocabulary

  • @LisaGemini
    @LisaGemini Рік тому +7

    Great video! Love your red shirt, Jonathon. That is your color, as it is mine. Dark hair goes perfectly with red. Anyway, I'm finding many guys want a clone of themselves. They want you to agree with all their philosophies on life and it's discouraging. Why not let a woman have her own opinions, as long as they are logical and understandable? At our age, we have been shaped by many different experiences. I am a cancer and stroke survivor so it's hard to explain to some why I don't plan what I'll be doing a year, five years, etc. from now. I've learned to be in the present moment. Accept your flaws and try to be a better person. But for God's sake, only God is perfect. Guess what, if you believe your own crap about how great you are, you will be HUMBLED. I'm just sick of all the huge egos out there. Who are you to judge me?

    • @Tbn48ibp
      @Tbn48ibp Рік тому +1

      Lisa …I hear ya!! Agree wholeheartedly. I am so so discouraged !! Wishing you happiness and joy

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Рік тому

      Thanks

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 Рік тому

      Well said Lisa! We can only lose the wrong men. That's manipulative and controlling behavior. Merry Christmas! We have the right to our own opinions and to decide what is right for us. 🎄❤️🫂

    • @LisaGemini
      @LisaGemini Рік тому

      @@Tbn48ibp Hugs to you! Online dating is a jungle. And sadly, not improving. People are even pretending to be BOOK AGENTS to scam money out of writers. Insane world we live in now!

  • @LorieBurney-wq6ec
    @LorieBurney-wq6ec Рік тому

    Absolutely resonates

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 Рік тому

    Yes the counterpart is attractive

  • @christannoel6033
    @christannoel6033 Рік тому

    I desperately need to join the hot seat. When do you go live next?

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 Рік тому

    Why do men always have to be tall?

  • @reginapolo3357
    @reginapolo3357 Рік тому +1

    To all the ladies out there who are deaaling with catfish, I suggest you use profanity therapy with them. I know is not appropriate to hand out profanity (when we really want), but; it has been known to be good therapy, and applying it to this situation; will release you of some stress and it is very effective getting those scumbags from littering your online prospects.

    • @Theinfamouskiki411
      @Theinfamouskiki411 Рік тому

      I agree

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 9 місяців тому

      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker is a PhD in human behavior. It teaches valuable skills to women. Also excellent podcasts.
      Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
      also an educational - book and podcasts.
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Indeed. Call them out.

  • @Cellia836
    @Cellia836 Рік тому

    So I have a question Jonathon so I keep hearing that women, should never start a conversation with a man first or never text him first. You seem to be saying otherwise. So what is the right way then? It's like all of these goofy rules for no reason at all. If you like someone... I think you should be bold and just say something to that person... at least you can say you where bold enough to try..

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Рік тому +1

      The right way is what feels right for you and gives you the results you seek. One size doesn't fit all.

  • @reginapolo3357
    @reginapolo3357 Рік тому

    I tolerate small talk.

  • @robinemery
    @robinemery Рік тому +2

    Another mouthful of great advice from my big brother Jonathan ❤
    BIG BIG HUGGS 🫂