I find comfort in knowing that the vast majority of these affairs that men leave their wives for never work out in the end and the man ends up alone like he deserves.
My personal situation didn't go like that. We were having trouble, I thought it wasn't anything we couldn't handle but, he met another woman. She is nice, successful and well adjusted. He moved out and I never saw him again. He filed for divorce and when it was completed, I was broke, he inherited homes and money, they married the day after the divorce and are happily married. Sometimes it goes like that.
@@jennyvinciguerra369 so nice & well adjusted that she had no problem dating a married man who was still living w his wife? Regardless of what he told her, she knew he wasn't divorced or even separated when they started seeing each other, right? A man usually doesn't leave a woman unless he's got another woman lined up already. So it sounds like she was dating a married man. Thats not very nice. And well adjusted women don't need or want another woman's man, especially not their husband.
The other woman doesn't care at all that she broke up two families. I saw her at the store and instead of being ashamed and trying to hide from me, she looked at me and started laughing hysterically. I simply blew her kiss and walked away. She can keep that monster.
I think what many wives don't realize or want to hear is that the other woman is told that they are separated, it's over and that she wanted the divorce. That is what was told to me. He spent weekends with me and told her lies. He told me lies. He went on vacation with me, spent 6 days with me at Thanksgiving. He lived a double life. No one wants to be the other woman. When I found out, I left. The wife blamed me and never thought to blame him. Meanwhile, he sought me out because we dated in high school. She wanted no truth. Wives, do not be like my ex's wife. Don't believe it's the other woman's fault. Your husband chose to lie to you and more than likely her, too.
Thanks so much for writing and telling the other side of the story. I agree with you - a lot of times the affair partner is told that the marriage is virtually over and the wife knows that.
@@VikkiStark If the wife knows the truth, why like my ex's wife did she stalk me, harass me, she even tried to put a restraining order on me and lost..she lives nowhere near me? She, I found out, is more insane and narcissistic than he is. I later found out he's done this before and yet she was full of vitriol and vengeance that was solely aimed at me. It was my worst nightmare and I don't think I'll ever get over it. They are back together and happy, I guess....LOL. How?
@@naomijulve5918 if you truly didn't know he's married then it's ON HIM! However there are ladies out there who KNOWS the man is married w/ 2 kids like in my case. I didn't know about the affair! OUR 19 years old daughter found out and exposed both of them! My poor kid! She's innocent and has to see and deal w/ a liar and cheater as a dad! She calls him a POS! Instead of been remorse, he screamed, belittled, and yelled at her for butting into his business. It's been 10 months and I caught them two 3x already! We are married for 20 years and built a life but I guess that goes out the windows. AND NO, I DO NOT ACCPET IT and NO IT'S NOT JUST HIS FAULT.. IT's her too! NO I DO NOT CONTACT HER AT ALL. She's NOT worth my time and energy. If she knows he's married, she has no morals just like him! So who is the victim? My 2 girls and NOT HER LIKE SHE CLAIMS. BTW her name is Bianca and he calls her "ANK" on his phone . She's 31 and lives in Rancho Penasquitos in San Diego CA. If she ever finds this or reads this, she needs to know she's a POS and all she deserves are old married men and always side shit / side slut. That's all she deserves! Karma will get this B*tch!
Even if the information the other woman is given isn’t true, the other women should immediately shut it down and tell the guy to beat it until the divorce happens.
The irony, of the statement, of the wife being cheated on, is that she looks at the mistress as the pariah, but she never seems to hold her husband accountable, as well! If the mistress isn’t a good person, then what does that make a husband who cheated with her?
Well my husband of 20 years had year long affairs with 2 of my friends, their children and mine were close friends also . This has damaged so many let alone me daughters who are utterly destroyed and humiliated to know their father is a pathological liar and sexually devious. This horrific betrayal is something that has taken me 3 years to try and comprehend and pull apart how he orchestrated this. This should be a lawful crime.
So sorry to hear! I know it's cold comfort but several women in our community have husbands who had affairs with their friends and I know it doubles the sense of betrayal. Keep going - you will get through this!
Your answer to the first question was brilliant - thank you. Realising that it was all driven by emotion with no rational thought involved is a huge step forward. It is awful to realise that a middle aged man is capable of behaving like a silly adolescent but it is better than thinking he’s a monster. Also absolutely explains why so many “runaways” ( male and female) end up bitterly regretting it.
Thanks Vikki, my husband left me with 3 children. It's now 4 years, I couldn't believe that was the end. I can't seem to believe it, it's so painful. I am trying to get over it but things are tough for me. Children look up to me for everything. I need to be strong to look after them. I just need a little advice or talk. I am glad to come across your videos. I will listen to them all...
It is hard but you will get over it! Keep looking forward to what you can do to improve your position even a little bit every day. Become a warrior for your health and happiness! Glad you found our community - it will help.
@@martikakillings3676 Hi Martika, You need to leave him in the past and look towards building your future. Time to stop crying. He's not crying over you - he doesn't deserve your tears.
Thats happened to me. My husband left me with our 3 years old daughter and disappered with other woman. Long time i saw traumatic nightmares like im on streets and asking to strangers are they know where is my husband is. I worried about can i trust to anyone again? Now time is change and i realise every tragedy carry its own luck. I'm glad and happy to have my daughter. and i saw im not sleeping awake with passive aggresive guy, building lots of hate inside himself while im cooking for my family without knowing his hate& his secret escape plans. And if you ask me what is happening to other women actually they sacrifice themself for taking more pain on our shoulders without knowing.
I've never trusted men When I'm betrayed in already prepped in my heart that they would do it anyway My husband hasn't left but he and my mom have betrayed me and I dont even want to be in their presence anymore I hate fakeness in ppl Good video, I think this is my second time watching
Thank you 🙏. I bought both your books. Planet heartbreak 💔 arrived first so I’m starting with that. I’m so grateful 🥲 for finding your books and channel.
So how do you move on from the pain and betrayal from abandonment and feeling replaced when you have to coparent and he bought a house with the other woman and moved her child in. Not only to I feel replaced as a wife but as a mother while they gave family vacations and do family type things. All the things we used to do and then my daughter comes home to just me. I alway feel at a disadvantage and although it’s been 2.5 years since, it hurts like it was yesterday. I am not the mother I used to be, I’m sad, I’m defeated. He took so much from me and my daughter. After 18 years, he was gone in 2 days and living with her within 2 months. There is no forgetting, forgiving. The other woman was his employee and not only did she know about me and my daughter, she knew us, saw us at company events and then smirks when she sees me. She gets pleasure from my pain. His family who I thought of as my family just accepts it. I feel like he threw me away and destroyed me and he keeps doing it. Every time he pulls out of the driveway with my daughter, every holiday, birthday. How do you move on from that?
Oh, Kimberly. I can only imagine how hard that is! It's really rough. I suppose it forces you to fight to get back your identity as a mother and not to let that image of him and his new woman and her child seep in too much. Focus on the good things you can do with your own daughter - it doesn't take a man for you to be an engaged mom. Of course, it's a real struggle. I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through.
@@VikkiStark thank you and I get that often. I try every day and we do new things but it just doesn’t compare to the family life I am so used to and my daughter still needs. I am very successful in life despite everything and I constantly hear how strong I am, how I’ve overcome so much, etc. which is nice and I know it’s my friends just wanting to encourage me. I’ve dated but it wasn’t the same and I know I need to be happy alone first. I’ve figured out so much and why my ex did what he did. I’ve learned to let go of blame but what I can’t figure out is how to stop the pain. Crying before bed, in the shower, pushing it down whenever I’m working or with my daughter or friends but it’s still there. I don’t want to be medicated so I try to research and see if anyone has any mechanisms or suggestions, new perspectives but unfortunately I don’t find many others with the same situation as me.
@@kimberlyann6234 You are NOT alone! 20 years and he had an affair w/ 31 y/o, -18 years younger. OUR 19TH year old found out the affair. Instead of been remorse, he screamed, belittled her and yelled at her for butting in. OUr 12 years old doesn't talk and not a happy girl like she used to be! We went to couples therapy, psychologist etc all the while he was still seeing her. It's 10 months now, I caught them 3x and he stilled lied to my face and gaslighted me, belittled me, even shoved me 2x etc. He saw her 2-3 times a week based on the time he came home around 1am! It's very painful, i am depressed, s* thoughts, etc he didn't care. All he cared about is himself and his pen*is! I am working on myself. I Have co dependency issues, abandonment etc. I gave up my career to raise our kids. I am 47 now and starting over. I pray daily but at times I get weary and just ask God to help me. The trauma, triggers, rummaging etc are very hard. I cried daily for these 10 months but my tears are drying up. Good days are ahead of us! WE will get thru this! WE will come out on the other side! WE will find another man who will treat us like Queens!
Nothing helps. You just have to slowly feel the pain and move through it. You do have to discipline yourself and thoughts. Even that though comes slowly. You have to come to accept over time that they are gone just like in real physical death, because essentially it’s the same. The marriage died. It’s OVER. HIS FEELINGS FOR YOU ARE GONE. NON EXISTENT. YOU CANT MAKE SOMEONE LOVE YOU. THE MEMORIAL OF WHAT YOU HAD AND WERE IS NO LONGER MUTUAL. YOU DONT HAVE TO ACCEPT THE OTHER WOMAN EVER. YOU CAN FORGIVE THEM BOTH. THAT TO CAN TAKE TIME. THE BEST PERSON FOR YOU IS YOU. LOVE YOURSELF. DONT TORMENT YOURSELF WITH MORE PAIN. WE HAVE TO LET THEM GO, ACCEPT DEATH AND EMBRACE OUR VERY MUCH STILL ALIVE SELVES AND OUR LIFE IN THE NOW. YOU AND GOD. MOVE FOWARD AND DONT LOOK BACK. DONT LOOK BACK.
Vicki, your book has helped me so much in The last 2 months. And I am so grateful to have found these you tube videos. The trauma of WAS is so deep and it has kept me going knowing there is a community that understands how deeply traumatizing these specific scenarios are. I discovered my husband's infidelity before he was ready for me to. Best 40 bucks I ever spent, I showed up at her house and took my picture in front of his car and asked if he wanted me to knock. Needless to say he didn't. I kicked him out the next day but now he hangs his hat on I "kicked him out". He has been gone since. The few responses I did get to my rambling, Heartbroken texts were that he didn't deserve to be talked to like an asshole. But how could I talk to him as anything else? I did get the verbal affirmation that I "didn't deserve what he did to me" but it never felt complete or sincere so I still consider him to have no remorse because he shows no remorse regardless of what his words are. Other than the dull aching pain that sits in my heart every day since June 4th I think I am doing pretty well. I have ups and downs of course and the downs are still very low. But I was taken by the point you made that some women stand back and see what their husbands did as a fault within their husband's, not themselves. I claim no innocence by any means, but I KNOW I didn't deserve what he did and I am secure in that knowledge. But this creates an empathy inside of me for a person who has no empathy in return for me and I am hating that I'm still not angry but more so devastated and sad. Knowing things that he has gone through in his life make me more empathetic to the idea of the war inside of him. I don't believe he is a narcissist or a sociopath even after what he's done. He has a light that shines brighter than his darkness and I guess that I willfully ignored the darkness and placed him on a pedestal for being so good and kind. Maybe he never deserved the pedestal but he deserved loyalty and love....at the time. My struggle is loving him in spite of what he did. AND CONTINUES TO DO. He abandoned me like dirt. And I know this for a fact and I'm absolutely disgusted by his actions. But I can't shake the empathy I have for hime and I realllllllllly wish I didn't because he's been nothing but an absent, cold, shell of a person I used to admire greatly. It's like mourning a death.
You are doing really well! Remember, it's only two months since your husband left. Of course, you will be in turmoil! It takes time for you to integrate this huge upheaval in your life, but you will get there!
My ex left me for a co-worker while I was sick and dealing with an illness. I let her have him as he wasn’t an easy person to live with. Yes it hurt and was hard but it was for the best. Cheaters not only betray you and lie to you. They don’t care that they hurt you. I could never trust him. And if they are lying to you they are lying to the other woman. It didn’t take long after we divorced that they were complaining about each other. I think most women when reflecting on their relationship realize that there were problems.
I was married at a young age but for some reason he left me for someone else and we were only married for a year) i was also a step mom to his 2 kids from his first wife and she and i became good friends before she died and she said she was happy that i was her kids stepmom but than all of a sudden my husband decided to divorce me and i got nothing and i never ask for anything either) ever since this all happen this was my last and first marriage and i no longer got into another relationship it took me a very long to get over the hurt and pain and i can never trust a man again i'm single now and i am happy the way i am
Very interesting, it's amazing how humans love 5o make things more complex. Good to see that you aren't judging, there's so much taboo and hate toward affairs and specially woman
It never was this way 60 , 70 years ago all my grandparents stayed with their wives untill they died . This society nowdays alot different .And it's not gonna get any better.
The large majority of men who have another woman stay with their wives, assuming the marriage relationship is reasonably good. If he leaves for the other woman - he typically would have left regardless of another woman. It is fairly common among wealthy people.
What if you are still standing for your marriage? He, of course, insists there is nothing going on and he has his own room etc, but whether or not that it is true... he still is living at her house and that is not ok. But he still acts married to me everywhere, games, events, holidays, and he is not asking for divorce .... (he thinks I kicked him out but that isn't really true) so how do I get through this while it is very much a part of my life in a small town.
I think you need clarity as to what is going on. If you're saying that your husband is living in the home of another woman (do you really believe the "own room" ruse?) but keeping up appearances with you, of course you are confused. I would think long and hard about permitting him to act "as if" you are both still a couple while this other woman is so firmly planted in his life.
Hes having his cake and eating it too That's wrong Stop bending over backwards for him because it reinforce his behavior Hes either married and faithful or hes not There's no middle ground
Girl, he’s LIVING at her house. Him having his own room just means having a spare bed to cheat in. You cant stand for a marriage by yourself, forever. There’s no honor or righteousness in giving up your dignity for a lost cause. What he’s doing to you is honestly kind of WORSE than normal wife abandonment, he’s exploiting you on top of everything. Please get that parasite removed and love yourself.
I think also some people don't experience real love until much later in their lives. For me it took 33 years before I actually loved someone. Not lusted, not crushed on, not enjoyed their company, but truly understood and loved every part of them unconditionally. I'm glad that I was single when it happened, as I'm not sure what would have happened to the relationship I was in otherwise. I likely would have been another cheating statistic, or more likely would have had to break up and lose my home and anything else we had together. I thought I was 'in love' before when I'd dated other people. I knew how to be romantic, I cared about them, I found them physically attractive. I honestly thought I loved them. But real love is very very different. It feels as though you have finally come back home. To this day, I still love the same man. I don't see or speak to him, he is now married to another woman, I date other men and will marry someone else. I've accepted a life without him. But I will always love him. He is my other half, regardless of whether I'm physically with him or not. I've never met anyone else that came close and at my age that is very unlikely to happen now. I can go ages without thinking about him, then I'll have a dream or something will remind me of something he said or did and I am right back at square one. It doesn't matter who I'm with or what I'm doing. A few weeks ago I found out that his father died and I was overwhelmed with sadness and the need to comfort him, even though we aren't together. Those feelings don't change with time. It's like he took part of my soul with him when we parted ways and it's still right there with him. I hope if I do marry then I never see him again, as I would end my marriage in a heartbeat to be with him. We just belong together, as crazy at that sounds. When you know you know. Edit: And for those saying it's all about lust. I would give up sex forever to be with him, if that's what it took.
I understand exactly how you feel. the love never goes away. that person truly gives you something that you can't let go of. True love in its purest form is not about lust at all. Lust is the least part of the relationship then. thats how you know the difference. I pray that you find some peace and comfort one day.
My husband left me out if the blue and left a note that he was unhappy and after 2 days he called me up that its too late and he is been cheating on me for 3 months that he knows her for 10 years they woek at the same company she is a widow 41 yrs old with 5 yr old son my husband has a nice position at that company he is 60 ywars old. I had no idea that he was unhappy he just left me with a note amd when i tried to talked to him in person he wont tell me . He just does not want to talk about it and he get mad and i have never seen him coldhsarted and act that way. My question is will they ever comeback?
@@lelo46 he texted me last month he wants to comeback but i know it was insencere , he had a fight with his gf and now they are back again and they are on vacation At DR...I still love him but and miss him so mych but i will never take him back. I know there is a right man for me. I just want our divorce to be over so i could move on .
Ladies, ladies ...what difference does it make if he is 'happy' or 'euphoric' or having the greatest time of his life? ... The REAL Qs is is he WORTH being in YOUR Life? If your answer is NO then none of the other stuff matters. Let him enjoy his delusional life. However, if your answer is YES (he is worthy) then sadly you still have not been able to see through what he has done and what he had been doing all along. You really need to take a closer look at that. And when you do ask yourself again ... Did you deserve that? Do you deserve real Love and Loyalty? Now then, is he worthy of you?
Us women need to work on ourselves look at ourselves and say why did I choose this type of person to get involved with in a deep caring way really it comes back to us my opinion
My sister has taken her own life , i found a box wuth letters and pdf's along with printed pages and pagesand pagesbof text messages. She had been in affair with a married man. Reading all the text, this man approched her on a dating site as a divorced man. I gather this went on for 6 months she found out he was married after 4 months. She was a vulnerable woman.. How many other women has he done this to ... Im trying to get intouch with his wife to make sure she knows .
Thank you for this. 2 months ago I got a call from a woman unbeknownst to me to tell me she’s having an affair with my husband. We were on a break during this time but supposed to be true to our promise. When I hung up on her she then sent text messages proving they were indeed having a steaming hot affair. Horrible details. I’ve since chosen to work things out with him; who became sorry and desperate when I told him how I found out. But now I wonder if I’ll ever get over the anger I feel towards her. I hate her! But I don’t want to. Any advice? I’d love to hear
Healing from this will take time and definitely, you will need the help of a marriage counsellor to really work it through. Otherwise, it will always be lurking around your marriage.
@@Mixablemike good question. She's playing lovey dovey with him. When he was the one who disrespected the marriage by stepping out in the first place. She hates her because she knows that there is something her husband desires, likes, attracted too... in her. And is worried he might go again. Hate your husband for doing that to you. That female owes you nothing. Your husband is the one who has a covenant with you. And can't keep he's penis in he's pants. Females need to wake up
Wow aren't you delulu. You are mad at her because she told you something you didn't like and you are OK with him even though you now know he is a filthy liar. Wow. Use protection because you never know who will be sleeping with next (not with her because she is not THAT stupid to keep him in her life). She did you the courtesy of telling you the truth and you go on like I don't know what against you! She is wasn't married to you! He is!
Women always want to analyze and make things more than what they are . Here is the bottom line most men are visual. The older the women gets the more less appealing she is . Men value age and beauty.
So sorry to hear! You're probably in the Tsunami Phase! Have you read Runaway Husbands yet? That's the place to start. And then join our mailing list on our website, www.runawayhusbands.com so you can hear about events coming up. There is a lot available on the Services page of the website, too. Join the Facebook group for support. And keep going - you will get through this!
It takes 2 to tango. How can you be mad at her? When he did not respect and stay loyal to your vows. Without him there is no them. People change constantly and you have to make. Sure they are satisfied and extra content. It takes a lot of work sacrifices and compromising. You can't keep a person that doesn't want to be kept. Move on with your life get some therapy. And always remember people change.
my sister is the other woman to a much older man and it's annoying how many excuses she has to keep the affair for 5 years. she is trying to justify that the wife probably already knows and is ready for divorce and they don't have much of a relationship....for 5 years and counting!
The moment you find out a person is married and you continue to engage, you’re guilty. It takes two unless it was rape. We’re all held accountable for our decisions. Some choices are hard, but doable unless the married person is controlling you. And never believe the other person is happy. The relationship started out with a lie and a liar. Why would you ever think the person who lied to their spouse will ever become an honest person over night. And the other person would always have in the back of their head “he or she did it before why not now”. It’s only a matter of time that it will happen again. You never want to breakup a family while trying to build yours without expecting turmoil, grief and pain. What you sowed, you will have to eat of its fruit too.
My exhusband never appreciated me as a good wife and step mother to his 2 young kids so he divorced me he probably already had somebody else and he was never around)
My husband on and off with the woman. Told me they broke up then left for holiday with her lying to me. They just couldn't be apart. I now accept that they love each other. So all the best. I just have to move on now after 20years beautiful our history behind. He loved me so much and I think that makes me more sad but I cannot do anything. So I try to remove him from my life and thought. Very hard...
The husband didn’t the same thing as the other woman. It’s not that she’s the devil and the husband just made a mistake. No. They’re both at fault. When someone shows you who they are believe them.
I’m having an affair with a married man with grown children. I didn’t intend to fall in love with him, and there are many times I think about his spouse and feel bad for her. I’d never ask him to leave her because she needs him, and he know this. I want them to stay together but I can’t let him go. Some of it is sexual...some of it is friendship.
Not you can't let him go but won't let him go. You know right from wrong. Don't pretend you are helpless in this situation. Don't pretend you have a care about the wife's well-being. Keep it 💯
Girl you are better than that. This guy loves it! He wants his cake and it too. Most men would love to have two women. He's a pig. Low down dirty dog! Just sayin. Have respect and dignity for your self. Pray to the Lord and ask him to send you a godly man all for your self. He's not going to leave his wife, he will make excuses. Im not bashing you, we all make mistakes. You are worth more than that. You deserve better. Drop his fonky ass.. I wish you the best.
If this woman has a respect for herself then she would have not invovled herself with a married man. She should asked herself what if he would do samething to her keep on cheating? You cannot build a house on top of another house.
Yes the cheater is the person to blame 100% of the time but there are woman who get off on the fact they can take a married man, they have zero shame and actually show pride in their "victory." These woman need to be held accountable for their actions, their behavior is disgusting. Having the mindset that they are free of any responsibility is what perpetuates their behavior.
Yes, because clearly, only one person can be at fault in an affair. It's actually perfectly reasonable to disapprove of the other woman/man for knowingly (emphasis on knowingly) interfering in your relationship; they're not the main culprit, but we're a social species who rely on our closest relationships to survive, so stealing other people's partners in a manipulative manner is understandably frowned upon and seen as shitty, narcissistic, immature behavior when exhibited in fully grown humans.
More likely he desperately wants to get away from himself. And he’s using the affair to distract himself from his flaws that deep down he knows he needs to work on. But he’s too lazy or inept to work on his own self-improvement.
Vickie Stark. Any kin to tony stark? (nevermind) Listen I just wanted to point out the elephant in the room that obviously you and all the women who lost their husbands to an adulterous situation. What is the elephant in the room? The fact that none of thee women were relationship material in the first place or their men would not have left them. If they were relationship material they would have kept their legs open for their men. If a woman sexually appeases a man then his body will always be ready for hers. That is what the men found in other women but will end the same way bc they are minute men. It is law that however a man begins with a woman that is how he is going to end with her. Anyway, I wrote the first book on "Sexual Perfection" that breaks down the woman's sexuality to a science. I guarantee you that what these women were doing was being contentious. This is always the natural continuum from the appropriate lack of sexual graduation, (every woman of a certain age must receive adequate sex daily) foreplay, affection and attention. A woman must be married to express her sexual wantonness in her man. But this is when the husbands become minute men and she develop sexual barriers (2) in the subconscious rebellion of being pleasured and not satisfied. A woman can pleasure herself (which is all that cunnilingus is to her body) and no one can sexually satisfy her but a man. To be honest, if a man cannot give his woman extreme pleasure and the pain that goes with those orgasms, then he really has nothing to offer her other than what any other man does. Bottomline (from my buk) is that a woman that lacks the 3 principles is doomed in every relationship from getting to her libido. It is what she is displaced from as her true position of sexual authority. "Lying" is her main fault!
No offense but I want to ensure that every woman in the world files a restraining order against you, that's how absolutely batshit crazy you seem. Everything you believe about women is complete lunacy.
but listen to this woman. she looks so sexually restraint I didn't think was possible. Bottomline if your man left you for another woman it is bc you weren't through the cow'-pole good enough1 (YEAH I SAID 8IT!) you need to carry your butt to the gym and try to release at least two of the 5 enzymes you are supposed to release during an hour of sex (which you probably never had - the lady in the question about stressin' over the fact she lost her man. that is all it is. These women's men loved another woman's p..h.le better than hers. Every woman is the same inside.
I find comfort in knowing that the vast majority of these affairs that men leave their wives for never work out in the end and the man ends up alone like he deserves.
I find comfort in that as well!
My personal situation didn't go like that. We were having trouble, I thought it wasn't anything we couldn't handle but, he met another woman. She is nice, successful and well adjusted. He moved out and I never saw him again. He filed for divorce and when it was completed, I was broke, he inherited homes and money, they married the day after the divorce and are happily married.
Sometimes it goes like that.
How long have they been married? I doubt it will last past 3 years
@@jennyvinciguerra369 so nice & well adjusted that she had no problem dating a married man who was still living w his wife? Regardless of what he told her, she knew he wasn't divorced or even separated when they started seeing each other, right? A man usually doesn't leave a woman unless he's got another woman lined up already. So it sounds like she was dating a married man. Thats not very nice. And well adjusted women don't need or want another woman's man, especially not their husband.
Me too
This ‘THING’ they got swept up in was LUST!!!
I'll always believe IT TAKES TWO TO CHEAT. 🙄🤷♀️
The other woman doesn't care at all that she broke up two families. I saw her at the store and instead of being ashamed and trying to hide from me, she looked at me and started laughing hysterically. I simply blew her kiss and walked away. She can keep that monster.
I can recommend you to a man who can help me bring my husband back within two days
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No. HE broke up his family. He needs to take that responsibility.
STOPPPPPPPPPP BLAMING THEBOTHER WOMEN !!!! Y’all sound delusional as hell .
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It won't be long for alot of men to begin cheating on the other woman
Mine did... cheaters will many times continue to cheat
Rejection is God’s protection!
Yes
@@AllergicToFantasy Then how would we learn anything? If everything only goes right all the time, there is no contrast, no lessons, no wisdom gained.
Grumpy Cheerleader: I've never heard that saying, but i LIKE it.
I think what many wives don't realize or want to hear is that the other woman is told that they are separated, it's over and that she wanted the divorce. That is what was told to me. He spent weekends with me and told her lies. He told me lies. He went on vacation with me, spent 6 days with me at Thanksgiving. He lived a double life. No one wants to be the other woman. When I found out, I left. The wife blamed me and never thought to blame him. Meanwhile, he sought me out because we dated in high school. She wanted no truth. Wives, do not be like my ex's wife. Don't believe it's the other woman's fault. Your husband chose to lie to you and more than likely her, too.
Thanks so much for writing and telling the other side of the story. I agree with you - a lot of times the affair partner is told that the marriage is virtually over and the wife knows that.
@@VikkiStark If the wife knows the truth, why like my ex's wife did she stalk me, harass me, she even tried to put a restraining order on me and lost..she lives nowhere near me? She, I found out, is more insane and narcissistic than he is. I later found out he's done this before and yet she was full of vitriol and vengeance that was solely aimed at me. It was my worst nightmare and I don't think I'll ever get over it. They are back together and happy, I guess....LOL. How?
@@naomijulve5918 if you truly didn't know he's married then it's ON HIM! However there are ladies out there who KNOWS the man is married w/ 2 kids like in my case. I didn't know about the affair! OUR 19 years old daughter found out and exposed both of them! My poor kid! She's innocent and has to see and deal w/ a liar and cheater as a dad! She calls him a POS! Instead of been remorse, he screamed, belittled, and yelled at her for butting into his business. It's been 10 months and I caught them two 3x already! We are married for 20 years and built a life but I guess that goes out the windows. AND NO, I DO NOT ACCPET IT and NO IT'S NOT JUST HIS FAULT.. IT's her too! NO I DO NOT CONTACT HER AT ALL. She's NOT worth my time and energy. If she knows he's married, she has no morals just like him! So who is the victim? My 2 girls and NOT HER LIKE SHE CLAIMS. BTW her name is Bianca and he calls her "ANK" on his phone . She's 31 and lives in Rancho Penasquitos in San Diego CA. If she ever finds this or reads this, she needs to know she's a POS and all she deserves are old married men and always side shit / side slut. That's all she deserves! Karma will get this B*tch!
That's why you don't date MARRIED men. When they're legally divorced is when it is acceptable to date.
Even if the information the other woman is given isn’t true, the other women should immediately shut it down and tell the guy to beat it until the divorce happens.
The irony, of the statement, of the wife being cheated on, is that she looks at the mistress as the pariah, but she never seems to hold her husband accountable, as well! If the mistress isn’t a good person, then what does that make a husband who cheated with her?
They want the husband. Because it gives them the sense they won the (filthy 😂) prize hahaha
I blame both of em!! The mistress knows alot more than they put on!! I know from experience!!
Well my husband of 20 years had year long affairs with 2 of my friends, their children and mine were close friends also . This has damaged so many let alone me daughters who are utterly destroyed and humiliated to know their father is a pathological liar and sexually devious. This horrific betrayal is something that has taken me 3 years to try and comprehend and pull apart how he orchestrated this. This should be a lawful crime.
So sorry to hear! I know it's cold comfort but several women in our community have husbands who had affairs with their friends and I know it doubles the sense of betrayal. Keep going - you will get through this!
It should be a crime for sure, 2 people committing this and devastating so many people.
i would need therapy for the rest of my life that extremely truamatizing. the betrayal truama is too much
Your answer to the first question was brilliant - thank you. Realising that it was all driven by emotion with no rational thought involved is a huge step forward.
It is awful to realise that a middle aged man is capable of behaving like a silly adolescent but it is better than thinking he’s a monster.
Also absolutely explains why so many “runaways” ( male and female) end up bitterly regretting it.
They eventuality do which is why it’s so imperative to keep no contact or minimal if you must if your co or parallel parenting.
Thanks Vikki, my husband left me with 3 children. It's now 4 years, I couldn't believe that was the end. I can't seem to believe it, it's so painful. I am trying to get over it but things are tough for me. Children look up to me for everything. I need to be strong to look after them. I just need a little advice or talk. I am glad to come across your videos. I will listen to them all...
It is hard but you will get over it! Keep looking forward to what you can do to improve your position even a little bit every day. Become a warrior for your health and happiness! Glad you found our community - it will help.
Same its been almost 3 years I still wake up in tears 😔
@@martikakillings3676 Hi Martika, You need to leave him in the past and look towards building your future. Time to stop crying. He's not crying over you - he doesn't deserve your tears.
Join reddit support group
Its because you put all your identity and self worth in marriage. Your thoughts are causing you pain.
Thats happened to me. My husband left me with our 3 years old daughter and disappered with other woman. Long time i saw traumatic nightmares like im on streets and asking to strangers are they know where is my husband is. I worried about can i trust to anyone again? Now time is change and i realise every tragedy carry its own luck. I'm glad and happy to have my daughter. and i saw im not sleeping awake with passive aggresive guy, building lots of hate inside himself while im cooking for my family without knowing his hate& his secret escape plans. And if you ask me what is happening to other women actually they sacrifice themself for taking more pain on our shoulders without knowing.
These women should tell the cheater to find another fool to love him.Shakespeare was right when he said that men are liars
I'm happy being single and free😊
If you were married and felt caged then you married the wrong man.
I've never trusted men
When I'm betrayed in already prepped in my heart that they would do it anyway
My husband hasn't left but he and my mom have betrayed me and I dont even want to be in their presence anymore
I hate fakeness in ppl
Good video, I think this is my second time watching
Thank you 🙏. I bought both your books. Planet heartbreak 💔 arrived first so I’m starting with that. I’m so grateful 🥲 for finding your books and channel.
So how do you move on from the pain and betrayal from abandonment and feeling replaced when you have to coparent and he bought a house with the other woman and moved her child in. Not only to I feel replaced as a wife but as a mother while they gave family vacations and do family type things. All the things we used to do and then my daughter comes home to just me. I alway feel at a disadvantage and although it’s been 2.5 years since, it hurts like it was yesterday. I am not the mother I used to be, I’m sad, I’m defeated. He took so much from me and my daughter. After 18 years, he was gone in 2 days and living with her within 2 months. There is no forgetting, forgiving. The other woman was his employee and not only did she know about me and my daughter, she knew us, saw us at company events and then smirks when she sees me. She gets pleasure from my pain. His family who I thought of as my family just accepts it. I feel like he threw me away and destroyed me and he keeps doing it. Every time he pulls out of the driveway with my daughter, every holiday, birthday. How do you move on from that?
Oh, Kimberly. I can only imagine how hard that is! It's really rough. I suppose it forces you to fight to get back your identity as a mother and not to let that image of him and his new woman and her child seep in too much. Focus on the good things you can do with your own daughter - it doesn't take a man for you to be an engaged mom. Of course, it's a real struggle. I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through.
@@VikkiStark thank you and I get that often. I try every day and we do new things but it just doesn’t compare to the family life I am so used to and my daughter still needs. I am very successful in life despite everything and I constantly hear how strong I am, how I’ve overcome so much, etc. which is nice and I know it’s my friends just wanting to encourage me. I’ve dated but it wasn’t the same and I know I need to be happy alone first. I’ve figured out so much and why my ex did what he did. I’ve learned to let go of blame but what I can’t figure out is how to stop the pain. Crying before bed, in the shower, pushing it down whenever I’m working or with my daughter or friends but it’s still there. I don’t want to be medicated so I try to research and see if anyone has any mechanisms or suggestions, new perspectives but unfortunately I don’t find many others with the same situation as me.
@@kimberlyann6234 You my want to attend my upcoming retreat called A Course on Happiness!
@@kimberlyann6234 You are NOT alone! 20 years and he had an affair w/ 31 y/o, -18 years younger. OUR 19TH year old found out the affair. Instead of been remorse, he screamed, belittled her and yelled at her for butting in. OUr 12 years old doesn't talk and not a happy girl like she used to be! We went to couples therapy, psychologist etc all the while he was still seeing her. It's 10 months now, I caught them 3x and he stilled lied to my face and gaslighted me, belittled me, even shoved me 2x etc. He saw her 2-3 times a week based on the time he came home around 1am! It's very painful, i am depressed, s* thoughts, etc he didn't care. All he cared about is himself and his pen*is! I am working on myself. I Have co dependency issues, abandonment etc. I gave up my career to raise our kids. I am 47 now and starting over. I pray daily but at times I get weary and just ask God to help me. The trauma, triggers, rummaging etc are very hard. I cried daily for these 10 months but my tears are drying up. Good days are ahead of us! WE will get thru this! WE will come out on the other side! WE will find another man who will treat us like Queens!
Go in prayer to God ; God heals the broken- hearted . That’s your husband ur one flesh . Pray that God changed his hardened heart
It’s all about lust.
No, there are true emotions as well...
Lust makes u THINK it's love. If it's true love you don't cheat long term.
Nothing helps. You just have to slowly feel the pain and move through it. You do have to discipline yourself and thoughts. Even that though comes slowly. You have to come to accept over time that they are gone just like in real physical death, because essentially it’s the same. The marriage died. It’s OVER. HIS FEELINGS FOR YOU ARE GONE. NON EXISTENT. YOU CANT MAKE SOMEONE LOVE YOU. THE MEMORIAL OF WHAT YOU HAD AND WERE IS NO LONGER MUTUAL. YOU DONT HAVE TO ACCEPT THE OTHER WOMAN EVER. YOU CAN FORGIVE THEM BOTH. THAT TO CAN TAKE TIME. THE BEST PERSON FOR YOU IS YOU. LOVE YOURSELF. DONT TORMENT YOURSELF WITH MORE PAIN. WE HAVE TO LET THEM GO, ACCEPT DEATH AND EMBRACE OUR VERY MUCH STILL ALIVE SELVES AND OUR LIFE IN THE NOW. YOU AND GOD. MOVE FOWARD AND DONT LOOK BACK. DONT LOOK BACK.
Vicki, your book has helped me so much in The last 2 months. And I am so grateful to have found these you tube videos. The trauma of WAS is so deep and it has kept me going knowing there is a community that understands how deeply traumatizing these specific scenarios are.
I discovered my husband's infidelity before he was ready for me to. Best 40 bucks I ever spent, I showed up at her house and took my picture in front of his car and asked if he wanted me to knock. Needless to say he didn't. I kicked him out the next day but now he hangs his hat on I "kicked him out".
He has been gone since.
The few responses I did get to my rambling, Heartbroken texts were that he didn't deserve to be talked to like an asshole. But how could I talk to him as anything else? I did get the verbal affirmation that I "didn't deserve what he did to me" but it never felt complete or sincere so I still consider him to have no remorse because he shows no remorse regardless of what his words are.
Other than the dull aching pain that sits in my heart every day since June 4th I think I am doing pretty well. I have ups and downs of course and the downs are still very low. But I was taken by the point you made that some women stand back and see what their husbands did as a fault within their husband's, not themselves. I claim no innocence by any means, but I KNOW I didn't deserve what he did and I am secure in that knowledge.
But this creates an empathy inside of me for a person who has no empathy in return for me and I am hating that I'm still not angry but more so devastated and sad. Knowing things that he has gone through in his life make me more empathetic to the idea of the war inside of him. I don't believe he is a narcissist or a sociopath even after what he's done. He has a light that shines brighter than his darkness and I guess that I willfully ignored the darkness and placed him on a pedestal for being so good and kind. Maybe he never deserved the pedestal but he deserved loyalty and love....at the time.
My struggle is loving him in spite of what he did. AND CONTINUES TO DO. He abandoned me like dirt. And I know this for a fact and I'm absolutely disgusted by his actions. But I can't shake the empathy I have for hime and I realllllllllly wish I didn't because he's been nothing but an absent, cold, shell of a person I used to admire greatly. It's like mourning a death.
You are doing really well! Remember, it's only two months since your husband left. Of course, you will be in turmoil! It takes time for you to integrate this huge upheaval in your life, but you will get there!
You’re mourning the person you thought he was. All the positive attributes you thought he had are actually your attributes. Be kind to yourself v
It was never about her
He lied to her too
This is his to carry
My ex left me for a co-worker while I was sick and dealing with an illness. I let her have him as he wasn’t an easy person to live with. Yes it hurt and was hard but it was for the best. Cheaters not only betray you and lie to you. They don’t care that they hurt you. I could never trust him. And if they are lying to you they are lying to the other woman. It didn’t take long after we divorced that they were complaining about each other. I think most women when reflecting on their relationship realize that there were problems.
I was married at a young age but for some reason he left me for someone else and we were only married for a year) i was also a step mom to his 2 kids from his first wife and she and i became good friends before she died and she said she was happy that i was her kids stepmom but than all of a sudden my husband decided to divorce me and i got nothing and i never ask for anything either) ever since this all happen this was my last and first marriage and i no longer got into another relationship it took me a very long to get over the hurt and pain and i can never trust a man again i'm single now and i am happy the way i am
I can recommend you to a man who helped me bring my husband back back within two days
Contact him on WhatsApp
Strangely, I never blamed her
It wasn't about her , it was 100% on him.
The other woman was inconsequential to me .
I wish I could feel that way. She flirted with mine while they worked together. I blame her too.
@Thomas Hellberg Agree
HE should have thought twice about his commitment. She can do what ever wants. HE is to blame.
@@patriciakatz7866 I agree.
@Lady Virgo thanks. Men aren't to blame for their actions. It's always women pitted against each other. That's bs.
Very interesting, it's amazing how humans love 5o make things more complex. Good to see that you aren't judging, there's so much taboo and hate toward affairs and specially woman
It never was this way 60 , 70 years ago all my grandparents stayed with their wives untill they died . This society nowdays alot different .And it's not gonna get any better.
The Internet ruined marriage forever.
I can recommend you to a man who helped me bring my husband back within two days
I can recommend you to a man who helped me bring my husband back within two days
Contact him on WhatsApp
Yes they stayed together, but many men still cheated on their wives back then too, but women tolerated a lot more BS back in the day.
The large majority of men who have another woman stay with their wives, assuming the marriage relationship is reasonably good. If he leaves for the other woman - he typically would have left regardless of another woman. It is fairly common among wealthy people.
What if you are still standing for your marriage? He, of course, insists there is nothing going on and he has his own room etc, but whether or not that it is true... he still is living at her house and that is not ok. But he still acts married to me everywhere, games, events, holidays, and he is not asking for divorce .... (he thinks I kicked him out but that isn't really true) so how do I get through this while it is very much a part of my life in a small town.
I think you need clarity as to what is going on. If you're saying that your husband is living in the home of another woman (do you really believe the "own room" ruse?) but keeping up appearances with you, of course you are confused. I would think long and hard about permitting him to act "as if" you are both still a couple while this other woman is so firmly planted in his life.
@@VikkiStark i do holidays and events and games for my kids. Her kids have told their dad that he does have his own room 🤷🏼♀️
Hes having his cake and eating it too
That's wrong
Stop bending over backwards for him because it reinforce his behavior
Hes either married and faithful or hes not
There's no middle ground
Girl, he’s LIVING at her house. Him having his own room just means having a spare bed to cheat in. You cant stand for a marriage by yourself, forever. There’s no honor or righteousness in giving up your dignity for a lost cause. What he’s doing to you is honestly kind of WORSE than normal wife abandonment, he’s exploiting you on top of everything. Please get that parasite removed and love yourself.
As you "stand for your marriage" your decision to base your decisions on another person, hurts ONLY you and your kids. Not him.
“An innocent bystander to something going on in him”
I think also some people don't experience real love until much later in their lives. For me it took 33 years before I actually loved someone. Not lusted, not crushed on, not enjoyed their company, but truly understood and loved every part of them unconditionally. I'm glad that I was single when it happened, as I'm not sure what would have happened to the relationship I was in otherwise. I likely would have been another cheating statistic, or more likely would have had to break up and lose my home and anything else we had together. I thought I was 'in love' before when I'd dated other people. I knew how to be romantic, I cared about them, I found them physically attractive. I honestly thought I loved them. But real love is very very different. It feels as though you have finally come back home.
To this day, I still love the same man. I don't see or speak to him, he is now married to another woman, I date other men and will marry someone else. I've accepted a life without him. But I will always love him. He is my other half, regardless of whether I'm physically with him or not. I've never met anyone else that came close and at my age that is very unlikely to happen now. I can go ages without thinking about him, then I'll have a dream or something will remind me of something he said or did and I am right back at square one. It doesn't matter who I'm with or what I'm doing. A few weeks ago I found out that his father died and I was overwhelmed with sadness and the need to comfort him, even though we aren't together. Those feelings don't change with time. It's like he took part of my soul with him when we parted ways and it's still right there with him. I hope if I do marry then I never see him again, as I would end my marriage in a heartbeat to be with him. We just belong together, as crazy at that sounds. When you know you know.
Edit: And for those saying it's all about lust. I would give up sex forever to be with him, if that's what it took.
I understand
I understand exactly how you feel. the love never goes away. that person truly gives you something that you can't let go of. True love in its purest form is not about lust at all. Lust is the least part of the relationship then. thats how you know the difference. I pray that you find some peace and comfort one day.
I completely understand.
@LDT7Y - Your story mirrors mine … I hope you’re happy within yourself and able to share that happiness with someone else 🙂
So helpful 10 years on, thank you Vicki ❤
My ex left me for a new woman then left her and got a new new one... I just hate I can't find a good man
My husband left me out if the blue and left a note that he was unhappy and after 2 days he called me up that its too late and he is been cheating on me for 3 months that he knows her for 10 years they woek at the same company she is a widow 41 yrs old with 5 yr old son my husband has a nice position at that company he is 60 ywars old. I had no idea that he was unhappy he just left me with a note amd when i tried to talked to him in person he wont tell me . He just does not want to talk about it and he get mad and i have never seen him coldhsarted and act that way. My question is will they ever comeback?
Yes, they always do. If he hasn’t just yet. He will.
What’s the update ?
@@lelo46 he texted me last month he wants to comeback but i know it was insencere , he had a fight with his gf and now they are back again and they are on vacation At DR...I still love him but and miss him so mych but i will never take him back. I know there is a right man for me. I just want our divorce to be over so i could move on .
What's the update
@@jasminsacco8214 yes whats the update. I hope you are doing better
Update?
Ladies, ladies ...what difference does it make if he is 'happy' or 'euphoric' or having the greatest time of his life? ... The REAL Qs is is he WORTH being in YOUR Life? If your answer is NO then none of the other stuff matters. Let him enjoy his delusional life. However, if your answer is YES (he is worthy) then sadly you still have not been able to see through what he has done and what he had been doing all along. You really need to take a closer look at that. And when you do ask yourself again ... Did you deserve that? Do you deserve real Love and Loyalty? Now then, is he worthy of you?
Us women need to work on ourselves look at ourselves and say why did I choose this type of person to get involved with in a deep caring way really it comes back to us my opinion
Thank you
My sister has taken her own life , i found a box wuth letters and pdf's along with printed pages and pagesand pagesbof text messages. She had been in affair with a married man. Reading all the text, this man approched her on a dating site as a divorced man. I gather this went on for 6 months she found out he was married after 4 months. She was a vulnerable woman.. How many other women has he done this to ... Im trying to get intouch with his wife to make sure she knows .
I'm so sorry to hear, Gina, and send you condolences. With warm wishes, Vikki
Thank you for this. 2 months ago I got a call from a woman unbeknownst to me to tell me she’s having an affair with my husband. We were on a break during this time but supposed to be true to our promise. When I hung up on her she then sent text messages proving they were indeed having a steaming hot affair. Horrible details. I’ve since chosen to work things out with him; who became sorry and desperate when I told him how I found out. But now I wonder if I’ll ever get over the anger I feel towards her. I hate her! But I don’t want to. Any advice? I’d love to hear
Healing from this will take time and definitely, you will need the help of a marriage counsellor to really work it through. Otherwise, it will always be lurking around your marriage.
Can I ask is it just the other woman you hate and are angry with or your Husband too?
@@Mixablemike good question. She's playing lovey dovey with him. When he was the one who disrespected the marriage by stepping out in the first place. She hates her because she knows that there is something her husband desires, likes, attracted too... in her. And is worried he might go again.
Hate your husband for doing that to you. That female owes you nothing. Your husband is the one who has a covenant with you. And can't keep he's penis in he's pants. Females need to wake up
Why did you choose to stay with a cheater?
Unfortunately things will never be the same.....
Wow aren't you delulu. You are mad at her because she told you something you didn't like and you are OK with him even though you now know he is a filthy liar. Wow. Use protection because you never know who will be sleeping with next (not with her because she is not THAT stupid to keep him in her life). She did you the courtesy of telling you the truth and you go on like I don't know what against you! She is wasn't married to you! He is!
Women always want to analyze and make things more than what they are . Here is the bottom line most men are visual. The older the women gets the more less appealing she is . Men value age and beauty.
As a woman I have to agree on this, but it goes both ways. Novelty and youth will allways be alluring
Oh yeah... Classic. We like our studs at any age, thank you.
I'm 11 days into this mess,I need help
So sorry to hear! You're probably in the Tsunami Phase! Have you read Runaway Husbands yet? That's the place to start. And then join our mailing list on our website, www.runawayhusbands.com so you can hear about events coming up. There is a lot available on the Services page of the website, too. Join the Facebook group for support. And keep going - you will get through this!
It takes 2 to tango. How can you be mad at her? When he did not respect and stay loyal to your vows. Without him there is no them. People change constantly and you have to make. Sure they are satisfied and extra content. It takes a lot of work sacrifices and compromising. You can't keep a person that doesn't want to be kept. Move on with your life get some therapy. And always remember people change.
Love these videos...I just switch the gender and it's perfect advice for me 🤭
Glad to hear! Yes - women do runaway too.
my sister is the other woman to a much older man and it's annoying how many excuses she has to keep the affair for 5 years. she is trying to justify that the wife probably already knows and is ready for divorce and they don't have much of a relationship....for 5 years and counting!
The moment you find out a person is married and you continue to engage, you’re guilty. It takes two unless it was rape. We’re all held accountable for our decisions. Some choices are hard, but doable unless the married person is controlling you. And never believe the other person is happy. The relationship started out with a lie and a liar. Why would you ever think the person who lied to their spouse will ever become an honest person over night. And the other person would always have in the back of their head “he or she did it before why not now”. It’s only a matter of time that it will happen again. You never want to breakup a family while trying to build yours without expecting turmoil, grief and pain. What you sowed, you will have to eat of its fruit too.
Sorry i dont want my exhusband or my exboyfriend back i'm done
I can recommend you to a man helped me bring my husband back within two days
My exhusband never appreciated me as a good wife and step mother to his 2 young kids so he divorced me he probably already had somebody else and he was never around)
He had other women before and had kids with them before we got married and its not worthed getting him back)
My husband on and off with the woman. Told me they broke up then left for holiday with her lying to me. They just couldn't be apart. I now accept that they love each other. So all the best. I just have to move on now after 20years beautiful our history behind. He loved me so much and I think that makes me more sad but I cannot do anything. So I try to remove him from my life and thought. Very hard...
Thank you so much for your beautiful post. Brave.
There's another woman. I'm really not mad at either of them.
There always is....
Thank you...
Ty
It's theft period. One of the big ten. They will get what they deserve.
The husband didn’t the same thing as the other woman. It’s not that she’s the devil and the husband just made a mistake. No. They’re both at fault. When someone shows you who they are believe them.
You did a good job
Stop blaming the other woman!!!! That lady don’t owe u nothing BLAME YOUR HUSBAND !!
You are right. The other woman is just doing a shitty thing. And is just a shitty woman but she does not owe anything to you.
The man does
I’m having an affair with a married man with grown children. I didn’t intend to fall in love with him, and there are many times I think about his spouse and feel bad for her. I’d never ask him to leave her because she needs him, and he know this. I want them to stay together but I can’t let him go. Some of it is sexual...some of it is friendship.
Respectfully: close your legs to married men
Pray to god to liberate you and send your man to you, that us what I did
Not you can't let him go but won't let him go. You know right from wrong. Don't pretend you are helpless in this situation. Don't pretend you have a care about the wife's well-being. Keep it 💯
Re-examine your values and morals systems.
Girl you are better than that. This guy loves it! He wants his cake and it too. Most men would love to have two women. He's a pig. Low down dirty dog!
Just sayin. Have respect and dignity for your self. Pray to the Lord and ask him to send you a godly man all for your self. He's not going to leave his wife, he will make excuses. Im not bashing you, we all make mistakes. You are worth more than that. You deserve better. Drop his fonky ass.. I wish you the best.
…I was the other woman…and I did care…but every case is different and some ladies should look at themself ….
If you care why continue with a married man? What if the wife doesn’t know about the side slut. You need to look at yourself! Shame on you!
Pre-cisely!!!!!
Its a waste of time
sour grapes. you can only blame your partner for breaking your deal, not a third party.
False. You can also point out that the third party is in the wrong and immoral.
If this woman has a respect for herself then she would have not invovled herself with a married man. She should asked herself what if he would do samething to her keep on cheating? You cannot build a house on top of another house.
Yes the cheater is the person to blame 100% of the time but there are woman who get off on the fact they can take a married man, they have zero shame and actually show pride in their "victory." These woman need to be held accountable for their actions, their behavior is disgusting. Having the mindset that they are free of any responsibility is what perpetuates their behavior.
Yes, because clearly, only one person can be at fault in an affair. It's actually perfectly reasonable to disapprove of the other woman/man for knowingly (emphasis on knowingly) interfering in your relationship; they're not the main culprit, but we're a social species who rely on our closest relationships to survive, so stealing other people's partners in a manipulative manner is understandably frowned upon and seen as shitty, narcissistic, immature behavior when exhibited in fully grown humans.
@@jasminsacco8214and he doesn't respect himself AND his own wife!! Duh!
Maybe the husband knows that his mistress isn’t necessarily a “good person,” but he just desperately wants to get away from the wife.
More likely he desperately wants to get away from himself. And he’s using the affair to distract himself from his flaws that deep down he knows he needs to work on. But he’s too lazy or inept to work on his own self-improvement.
@@sunnyday3539This is the truth!
Exactly... That's usually the case.
@@sunnyday3539many of us wives are VERY far from perfect but when you hear us on such forums we are the perfect person
@@sunnyday3539yep! Lol
Vickie Stark. Any kin to tony stark? (nevermind) Listen I just wanted to point out the elephant in the room that obviously you and all the women who lost their husbands to an adulterous situation. What is the elephant in the room? The fact that none of thee women were relationship material in the first place or their men would not have left them. If they were relationship material they would have kept their legs open for their men.
If a woman sexually appeases a man then his body will always be ready for hers. That is what the men found in other women but will end the same way bc they are minute men. It is law that however a man begins with a woman that is how he is going to end with her. Anyway, I wrote the first book on "Sexual Perfection" that breaks down the woman's sexuality to a science.
I guarantee you that what these women were doing was being contentious. This is always the natural continuum from the appropriate lack of sexual graduation, (every woman of a certain age must receive adequate sex daily) foreplay, affection and attention. A woman must be married to express her sexual wantonness in her man. But this is when the husbands become minute men and she develop sexual barriers (2) in the subconscious rebellion of being pleasured and not satisfied.
A woman can pleasure herself (which is all that cunnilingus is to her body) and no one can sexually satisfy her but a man. To be honest, if a man cannot give his woman extreme pleasure and the pain that goes with those orgasms, then he really has nothing to offer her other than what any other man does. Bottomline (from my buk) is that a woman that lacks the 3 principles is doomed in every relationship from getting to her libido. It is what she is displaced from as her true position of sexual authority. "Lying" is her
main fault!
No offense but I want to ensure that every woman in the world files a restraining order against you, that's how absolutely batshit crazy you seem. Everything you believe about women is complete lunacy.
but listen to this woman. she looks so sexually restraint I didn't think was possible. Bottomline if your man left you for another woman it is bc you weren't through the cow'-pole good enough1 (YEAH I SAID 8IT!) you need to carry your butt to the gym and try to release at least two of the 5 enzymes you are supposed to release during an hour of sex (which you probably never had - the lady in the question about stressin' over the fact she lost her man. that is all it is. These women's men loved another woman's p..h.le better than hers. Every woman is the same inside.
🙄🤔😂
Such rubbish
What if the other woman knows about you and your husband refuses to end his marriage and refuses to end the affair?
Then the choice is in your hands. Think about what is the healthiest choice in your life.