I think what was hard let go of for me is that the other woman was also married, knew he was married and didn’t take responsibility. The double standard.
@@BumbledoraI’d be careful to label her as “no morals”… often with most judgments, they are due to fear/and or a lack of information. You will never fully know what he told her…or if what he’s telling you about what she knew, didn’t know, is true. Many times, men will say to the other woman that their marriage is mostly over, that their wife thinks it’s over too, and that they are staying together for the kids. Often the man is so deep in denial, justification, that he paints a picture that is not reflective of reality. Most women, will not willingly get into an affair with a married man, who is trying to make his marriage work, who has kids. Often, they are duped. Not told the guy is married initially, or some narratives of unhappiness and that it’s essentially over. In those cases, those women aren’t being wise, but they often don’t realize the whole picture. I’ve known plenty of women, in various affair circumstances, and many had morals. Humans are not as easily categorizable as you might need to think, in order to feel in control of all the uncertainty. However, humans are complex, often contradictory, ruled far more by subconscious programming, and attachment style (and attachment wounding, needs) than most people realize. I was an RN who worked with thousands of patients, am now working on a neuroscience degree, due to all the curiosity of human behavior, the self sabotage, and more. The more you can have curiosity, humility, and vulnerability, the more clear reality you can see…and you can heal more deeply, fully.
Same, she was married also. I had all the responsibility in our marriage, bills, kids, our business, IT issues, and from what I understand her husband is the same. Both of our spouses wanting a free ride and outside the marriage dessert.
I guess I lucked out with one AP (there’s 5 altogether for me) but when I confronted her I did it gracefully and actually apologized for my husbands lies to her and to me and she emphatically apologized in fact I felt more remorse from her then I did my husband and it helped close the book on her in my mind.
"We have yet to see a truly confident person who cheats. People who have affairs are wounded people." Well said. Such wisdom. Thank you, sir 🙏 For myself, I believe if someone cheats on me, it's on them if I've done right by them and all I can for them. My conscience is clear and I'll be alright. Live and let live🙏
What you’ve described isn’t really a difference between the sexes. Both affair partners that know the unfaithful is married are grooming both emotionally and sexually. Saying anything flattering is stroking their desire to be worshipped.
I had no choice but to give the AP real estate. My ex husband kept her in the background throughout our trying to recover. He texted her during our Affair Recovery bootcamp. He saw her during our EMS online. Hard for me to move forward or to heal when I was always finding out about new connections brought about by my now ex husband. I really tried to reconcile the marriage but I couldn't reconcile a third party always in the background. It broke me.
The same happened to me. I wanted our marriage to work he promised not to contact her and that is what he kept doing and lying about it. Trying to stay connected to her family as he had built bonds with her children while our son was here at home with me. He just abandoned us but wanted us still there and to act like his other world did not exist.
Exactly. It's impossible to let go of the pain and stop gathering information on the OW when you know that she is still in the picture and that he is still lying about his relationship with her. When you know that the only way you will ever know the truth about your own life is by doing the digging yourself, it can be impossible to stop obsessing, or to move on.
Agreed. They think they can rebuild the marriage and still eat their cake. Mine did the same until he knew I was leaving if he continued. I knew she was still in his head while I was trying to recover. When I found out why (he was still with her), he knew I was done. I had gotten so fed up that I was numb and didn't care if he stayed or went. That scared him and he dumped her cold turkey.
Wow this was so triggering for me.. the AP was half his age, stroked his ego, spent 100s of hours on phone with him (truck driver) and 1000s of text messages in counseling realized how manipulative she was. She saw a built in daddy for her twins because he's an awesome dad, and provider for his family. Something she could not get for herself so went after my spouse, someone who listened to her and began to believe her. It was a horrible 1.5 years I watched happening and couldn't do anything to stop it. They both were so selfish. He enjoyed the feelings of her stroking his ego and even told him she would take better care of him than I had done for 30 yrs.
Wow so sorry your going through this. Your story is the first one I heard that is similar to mine. Husband had emotional affair for over 5 years and is a truck driver she was a truck driver as well. Day was January 9th this year having such a hard time with this.
You know, the AP dumped my x after he left his 30 year old marriage with me . Karma! You watch karma coming around. He beg to come back and I said NO !
I know, it sucks. Try to work on feeling good about yourself, hun, and turning this awful experience around. One day you will accept what they did and realise it wasn't about you, they're just clumsy, flawed human beings.
I'm working on forgiving my husband. The OW does not deserve my forgiveness. Until I'm stronger and I have forgiven my husband whom I love, then I'll consider forgiveness or at least letting go of my hatred of her. Right now though, my focus is to infuse positivity, compassion and empathy into my new relationship with my husband. He is working a recovery program as well as am I. We are building a new marriage. God willing, my mind clears, my heart softens and my gut leads me. God willing he continues to prove he's worthy of my trust, so that I can trust him again. Thank you for your videos.
I cannot forgive the other woman. I also still love my husband and cannot get over him betraying me. I trusted him 100% and thought we would be together forever. Our Family also suffer and the situation is still unbearable for us all even after 1 year.
Thankyou Wayne for giving me a different way to think..my husband brought this woman I to our life and I feel she will always be there..but your talk has finally given me a chance to heal....I will listen to this often...Thankyou
Yes! I am dealing with this right now. I have blocked all her numbers. But some how she gets a new number and starts watching my Facebook page. Or sends a text and deletes it. I am so sick of this! Sometimes I think she just wants my husband’s attention.
Not sure how or why I could ever view AP as a human. She literally laughed and called me names when I found out and confronted her. She told me to watch out or my husband will be taken from me.
I can't see my husband's AP anything but a monster and other names I cannot write her. Clearly, she was also a golddigger since my husband paid their outings and even a trip. What does that make her? Yeah... I know.
I've been married and divorced six weeks postpartum. The cheating wasn't the icing on the cake but he needed to go. Yes, I spoke to the other women. I don't hold grudges and thank God my Mama was supportive. It's been 5 years no looking back. The other women is being abused and cheated on daily. I wish them both the best of luck 😂
I don’t know. Maybe I’m odd. I have a internal fight going on. I still love my wife. That being said I just don’t see the effort on her part to fix what she destroyed. She just wants it to go away. When questioned about him all I get is I don’t knows, I don’t remember and it really wasn’t that good. Bs! The minimalization and forgetfulness is astonishing. Maybe someone can tell me how we are willing to allow two people intentionally set out to destroy you just walk away without doing anything about it. I’m supposed to just accept that it happened and free pass? Minimal consequences for you? I’m supposed to just believe you now? 7 months out and still the trickle crap. Nothing not even the affair itself disclosed unless forced to. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard you know everything now. To all you betrayers I’m going to give you a bit of advice. If you have someone that is going to try and work through it with what you have done to them. BE HONEST about everything upfront. EVERYTHING!!! Every time you come back with more the push and drive to work through it dwindles a little more. Stop making it seem it didn’t mean that much to you. You literally just stole your spouse’s history present and future, and then pretend it didn’t mean anything. Wow! If you continue to hold things back and lie, of course cause you’re trying to spare your spouse’s feelings. You’re not. And little by little you are continuing to destroy your spouse. Not to mention you’re continuing to show you can’t be trusted or believed. If you do that enough even when you are totally honest they won’t believe you. And you will destroy or at minimum drastically extend the time it will take to get through it. Sorry for the rant.
Wayne, I'm a betrayed male.. with the help of ur videos was able to fix our relationship. I just want to know if I come across colleagues, friends who r having an affair, would it be wise to walk to them and let them know the consequences. Would it even make a difference to them or would they even consider changing?
As the betrayed...i spoke to the ow...I know all the thgs he told her...how he felt how he wanted her...she was beautiful, hot and sexy...yet he still can't find one nice thg to say about me...I feel so undesirable...cause he makes me feel that way. You should do a video about how the cheating spouse doesn't feel the same about their spouse but want to work it out without making excuses for them. Doesn't matter that they are wounded...they found it easy to come out of their mouth to the AP.
My husband was that way too after the first so-called break-up. He hadn't really broken up with her though. All I heard about was her pretty face, big eyes, and beautiful hair blah blah blah. I wish I had had him tracked because it went on for another 15 months without me knowing. All I knew was that he still couldn't bring himself to say anything bad about her even though she had purposely tried to wreck our lives. That was because he was still connected to her. After that, I tracked his movements to be sure he wasn't seeing her anymore.
I would say really work on your confidence in yourself. I know it’s not always easy, esp in a case like this. But men want to be with a woman who is comfortable in her own skin and happy. I’ve heard several men (some who cheated) say this. Work on bettering yourself.... and he (or the person truly right for you one day) will take notice.
I am going through this same thing finding out three days ago. I am devastated seeing things I’ve read and found out about how he feels about her and what they’ve done
Oh yeah I found messages of him saying how elegant he his, how much he wants to leave me and have no feelings for me. Oh that hurts. Now he said that was just talking
@@velvetbrown74 my wife was in 7 year affair. She said she did not love him but never could say bad thing about him. She eventually said he just her as a sex thing. Could I ever really trust her? No. Sorry for your pain. It never really does go away. Always reminders especially if you continue to live in same house, same city, etc
I also try...and he's been doing nice thgs for the last month...but it doesn't make me feel anymore desirable when I know what compliments he was filling her head with. It's not just the affair partner that likes to here those thgs...its everyone! He told me he finds me attractive just not in the same way and couldn't give me any examples.
Oh my... I am so sorry. I had a “best friend” do this with my boyfriend in high school and it was earth-shattering. And that was just a boyfriend and one friend. I am so sorry. I ended up dropping both, cutting them out of my life, because it was just too toxic. I wish you peace as you work through these betrayals. Remember that you are enough and deserve so much better than that from your spouse and friends. (hugs)
Ughhhh... same. My friend/neighbor, & we still live across the street. They don't talk to each other AT all & have legal documents keeping her away from me. 👹
I know how difficult it has been for me going through what I went through. I wish I could say that I couldn't imagine what it was like having a close person betray you with your significant other, but I can say it. It happened to me decades ago as well... with one of my siblings. I did walk away from the other man, but I still have the sister. Anyway, I understand where all of you are coming from, on more levels than I care to admit. Continued blessings and healing to all.
Almost two years after D-day, I got surprisingly triggered by this video. I guess it really touches on some truths. I really wish I could let go of the burning hate. I areslly recognize how damaging it is. 😔
The AP was a colleague. Married, very unhappily. I really see the point of her getting enthralled in all the ways he was unlike her husband. But I just can't seem to get away from devastation they knowingly caused me.
I understand exactly. It was a young woman I treated as a daughter with gifts and love. He still talks to her if she calls. Don’t know for sure. He keeps his phone private and doesn’t want to talk abt the affair. I’m 69 and been with him for 40 yrs. I’m so scared to be on my own. But I am still so hurt by them both. How could they knowingly do this to me?
Lol! They groomed each other. My ex husband groomed her emotionally and she did him sexually. They’re a match! Best to do is make them insignificant. Focus your attention to yourself. Own your part, heal from it, so you can move on healthily. Obsessing over their relationship will only make you look crazy if it hasn’t made you crazy yet. You’ll be embarrassed later from what you did or say. Stay classy and ignore them.
My husband had an emotional affair with a lady from church that we had both counseled so I know who she is. In fact she told me when he ended it. Her husband is in jail.
I am the other woman. I did not know that he was married and that makes it even harder because I fel in love with him. Now I’m hurt because she and the children are hurt. It’s not fair that I stil want him even though i know that this is not healthy. I know that our past relationship is done because he lied to me to. I did told him all of this. I feel ashamed for still holding to him
The other woman who destroyed my 36 year marriage DID know my husband was married. I know it takes two for betrayal but i thought women have a conscious.😢
Wow …this resonates with what I’m going through now …the built up anger for the AP is damaging me slowly ..I will certainly take on board what you have said and no doubt this will kick start my healing and working on my 23 year marriage
My husband Af partner didn't know at first but she knows now and i even wrote her a letter. My husband ask to come back home I said yes . He wanted to work on marriage but here we are 7 weeks in and he is contacting her again and she won't tell him to leave her alone. She just tells him that she still loves him. Does anybody have advice?
2 1/2 years since “D day” and I can’t do either. Not him, not them. I also can’t love anyone romantically anymore. It’s like a huge part of me has died, no, was murdered by him and his whores.
Didnt know the ap, didnt care too, what she was doing with my husband said all that was needed abt her.. pretty sure her life is miserable as it was when that affair happened. I hope everyone finds healing ❤❤❤
When he has an affair with his EX wife after being in a marriage with me for almost 6 years??? I caught him cheating when I found nasty text messages…. He never gave me valid reasons to go back to her, but neither wanted a relationship with each other. She said she set him up to hurt me, but he participated. So I blame him more of course. Just can’t wrap my head around any of it.
Hi Wayne, Thanks for another great video. I didn't think this particular one would interest me, but I've watched it twice today, and I found some good helpful information. I might suggest a title change though. Maybe 'Who is the Other Woman or Man ?' Thanks for all you and your team do to help us.
I was betrayed by my husband after 36 yrs of marriage. The other woman is 12 yrs younger and she knew he was in a long year marriage. Ofcourse it takes two but I thought women think different and have a conscious but she obviously didn’t think of what she was causing. I am still heartbroken and finding it hard to move on even after 1 year. Our whole family are still suffering with his/her behavior. This woman has had lots of men but no long relationships, never been married or has children. My husband is definitely in the midlife crisis and thinks the grass is greener on the other side.
My husband had a affair with a younger woman of twenty years. Their affair lasted 3 and half years. He passed away a month after they broke up, died from COVID . We did not heal together, I had to heal and grieve by myself, still am grieving.
What about when it is 26 years of porn? When is 7 years of paying coffee baristas to take their clothes off? How do you deal with thousands of affair partners?
Get rid of your husband he is beyond help and has am addiction. There will always be a 3rd party in your marriage, been through this with a sex addict. No matter how great our sex was he needed porn and unlimited women on social media to pursue and flirt with. He was always sorry then did it all over again. The only freedom was removing myself.
Tell you what I did maybe work for u. Take the pies they are fantastic. Drop all feelings for wife you will decover there are so many wonder women in this world looking for something ur. I repeat take pies drop wife
I've been involved with a married man for 3. years, and WE AREN'T VILLIANS! Every situation is different! I didn't know he was still in a relationship, she was never in the picture, and very long story! am guessing he's got a lot to lose financially, am also guessing he's prob gotothers he's seeing, all my point is, i was/am SINGLE, and am not a child..HE is the one who's cheating, HE is the one who's being deceptive..stop putting it on the other woman, put the responsibilty where it lays! you're just looking for excuses, no it's not your fault, it is HIS
I think what was hard let go of for me is that the other woman was also married, knew he was married and didn’t take responsibility. The double standard.
Close to my case, but my husband's AP was single. She knew he was married with kids and didn't say no. No morals.
@@BumbledoraI’d be careful to label her as “no morals”… often with most judgments, they are due to fear/and or a lack of information.
You will never fully know what he told her…or if what he’s telling you about what she knew, didn’t know, is true.
Many times, men will say to the other woman that their marriage is mostly over, that their wife thinks it’s over too, and that they are staying together for the kids. Often the man is so deep in denial, justification, that he paints a picture that is not reflective of reality.
Most women, will not willingly get into an affair with a married man, who is trying to make his marriage work, who has kids.
Often, they are duped. Not told the guy is married initially, or some narratives of unhappiness and that it’s essentially over. In those cases, those women aren’t being wise, but they often don’t realize the whole picture.
I’ve known plenty of women, in various affair circumstances, and many had morals. Humans are not as easily categorizable as you might need to think, in order to feel in control of all the uncertainty. However, humans are complex, often contradictory, ruled far more by subconscious programming, and attachment style (and attachment wounding, needs) than most people realize.
I was an RN who worked with thousands of patients, am now working on a neuroscience degree, due to all the curiosity of human behavior, the self sabotage, and more.
The more you can have curiosity, humility, and vulnerability, the more clear reality you can see…and you can heal more deeply, fully.
Same here.
Same, she was married also. I had all the responsibility in our marriage, bills, kids, our business, IT issues, and from what I understand her husband is the same. Both of our spouses wanting a free ride and outside the marriage dessert.
I guess I lucked out with one AP (there’s 5 altogether for me) but when I confronted her I did it gracefully and actually apologized for my husbands lies to her and to me and she emphatically apologized in fact I felt more remorse from her then I did my husband and it helped close the book on her in my mind.
I’m glad you got your healing love
You are one classy that loves yourself. 💞👌🏾👏🏾🥇💐🙏🏾🙏🏾
"We have yet to see a truly confident person who cheats. People who have affairs are wounded people." Well said. Such wisdom. Thank you, sir 🙏
For myself, I believe if someone cheats on me, it's on them if I've done right by them and all I can for them. My conscience is clear and I'll be alright.
Live and let live🙏
What you’ve described isn’t really a difference between the sexes. Both affair partners that know the unfaithful is married are grooming both emotionally and sexually. Saying anything flattering is stroking their desire to be worshipped.
The “grooming” is so accurate.
I had no choice but to give the AP real estate. My ex husband kept her in the background throughout our trying to recover. He texted her during our Affair Recovery bootcamp. He saw her during our EMS online. Hard for me to move forward or to heal when I was always finding out about new connections brought about by my now ex husband. I really tried to reconcile the marriage but I couldn't reconcile a third party always in the background. It broke me.
The same happened to me. I wanted our marriage to work he promised not to contact her and that is what he kept doing and lying about it. Trying to stay connected to her family as he had built bonds with her children while our son was here at home with me. He just abandoned us but wanted us still there and to act like his other world did not exist.
He is now the ex.
Bless you for the journey you've been through... And the courage to move forward. Continued healing.
Exactly. It's impossible to let go of the pain and stop gathering information on the OW when you know that she is still in the picture and that he is still lying about his relationship with her. When you know that the only way you will ever know the truth about your own life is by doing the digging yourself, it can be impossible to stop obsessing, or to move on.
Agreed. They think they can rebuild the marriage and still eat their cake. Mine did the same until he knew I was leaving if he continued. I knew she was still in his head while I was trying to recover. When I found out why (he was still with her), he knew I was done. I had gotten so fed up that I was numb and didn't care if he stayed or went. That scared him and he dumped her cold turkey.
Wow this was so triggering for me.. the AP was half his age, stroked his ego, spent 100s of hours on phone with him (truck driver) and 1000s of text messages in counseling realized how manipulative she was. She saw a built in daddy for her twins because he's an awesome dad, and provider for his family. Something she could not get for herself so went after my spouse, someone who listened to her and began to believe her. It was a horrible 1.5 years I watched happening and couldn't do anything to stop it. They both were so selfish. He enjoyed the feelings of her stroking his ego and even told him she would take better care of him than I had done for 30 yrs.
Wow so sorry your going through this. Your story is the first one I heard that is similar to mine. Husband had emotional affair for over 5 years and is a truck driver she was a truck driver as well. Day was January 9th this year having such a hard time with this.
You know, the AP dumped my x after he left his 30 year old marriage with me . Karma! You watch karma coming around. He beg to come back and I said NO !
We are all adults, actions have consequences. There really is no question : you cannot build your happiness on another's unhappiness.
I absolutely HATE this process, 2.5 years out & I can't stand suffering anymore. Omg. I am so mad.
I know, it sucks. Try to work on feeling good about yourself, hun, and turning this awful experience around. One day you will accept what they did and realise it wasn't about you, they're just clumsy, flawed human beings.
Have you been to a therapist?
I'm working on forgiving my husband. The OW does not deserve my forgiveness.
Until I'm stronger and I have forgiven my husband whom I love, then I'll consider forgiveness or at least letting go of my hatred of her. Right now though, my focus is to infuse positivity, compassion and empathy into my new relationship with my husband. He is working a recovery program as well as am I. We are building a new marriage. God willing, my mind clears, my heart softens and my gut leads me. God willing he continues to prove he's worthy of my trust, so that I can trust him again. Thank you for your videos.
I cannot forgive the other woman. I also still love my husband and cannot get over him betraying me. I trusted him 100% and thought we would be together forever. Our Family also suffer and the situation is still unbearable for us all even after 1 year.
Thankyou Wayne for giving me a different way to think..my husband brought this woman I to our life and I feel she will always be there..but your talk has finally given me a chance to heal....I will listen to this often...Thankyou
Very helpful, been searching for this explanation since my husband betrayed me🙏🏻
The other woman and my husband are co workers and they formed a relationship complaining to eachother about their spouses.
I have been wounded all my life. Never in a million years would i cheat. Its not in my heart to do so no matter what. So i will NEVER understand.
What about character? Lack of character is real, and not addressed at all. Not everyone is sorry, some people are just self involved.
Being “not sorry” is a defense. We are all trying to get very human needs met
Yes! I am dealing with this right now. I have blocked all her numbers. But some how she gets a new number and starts watching my Facebook page. Or sends a text and deletes it. I am so sick of this! Sometimes I think she just wants my husband’s attention.
Not sure how or why I could ever view AP as a human. She literally laughed and called me names when I found out and confronted her. She told me to watch out or my husband will be taken from me.
I can't see my husband's AP anything but a monster and other names I cannot write her. Clearly, she was also a golddigger since my husband paid their outings and even a trip. What does that make her? Yeah... I know.
I've been married and divorced six weeks postpartum. The cheating wasn't the icing on the cake but he needed to go. Yes, I spoke to the other women. I don't hold grudges and thank God my Mama was supportive. It's been 5 years no looking back. The other women is being abused and cheated on daily. I wish them both the best of luck 😂
I don’t know. Maybe I’m odd. I have a internal fight going on. I still love my wife. That being said I just don’t see the effort on her part to fix what she destroyed. She just wants it to go away. When questioned about him all I get is I don’t knows, I don’t remember and it really wasn’t that good. Bs! The minimalization and forgetfulness is astonishing. Maybe someone can tell me how we are willing to allow two people intentionally set out to destroy you just walk away without doing anything about it. I’m supposed to just accept that it happened and free pass? Minimal consequences for you? I’m supposed to just believe you now? 7 months out and still the trickle crap. Nothing not even the affair itself disclosed unless forced to. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard you know everything now. To all you betrayers I’m going to give you a bit of advice. If you have someone that is going to try and work through it with what you have done to them. BE HONEST about everything upfront. EVERYTHING!!! Every time you come back with more the push and drive to work through it dwindles a little more. Stop making it seem it didn’t mean that much to you. You literally just stole your spouse’s history present and future, and then pretend it didn’t mean anything. Wow! If you continue to hold things back and lie, of course cause you’re trying to spare your spouse’s feelings. You’re not. And little by little you are continuing to destroy your spouse. Not to mention you’re continuing to show you can’t be trusted or believed. If you do that enough even when you are totally honest they won’t believe you. And you will destroy or at minimum drastically extend the time it will take to get through it. Sorry for the rant.
Wayne, I'm a betrayed male.. with the help of ur videos was able to fix our relationship.
I just want to know if I come across colleagues, friends who r having an affair, would it be wise to walk to them and let them know the consequences. Would it even make a difference to them or would they even consider changing?
As the betrayed...i spoke to the ow...I know all the thgs he told her...how he felt how he wanted her...she was beautiful, hot and sexy...yet he still can't find one nice thg to say about me...I feel so undesirable...cause he makes me feel that way. You should do a video about how the cheating spouse doesn't feel the same about their spouse but want to work it out without making excuses for them. Doesn't matter that they are wounded...they found it easy to come out of their mouth to the AP.
My husband was that way too after the first so-called break-up. He hadn't really broken up with her though. All I heard about was her pretty face, big eyes, and beautiful hair blah blah blah. I wish I had had him tracked because it went on for another 15 months without me knowing. All I knew was that he still couldn't bring himself to say anything bad about her even though she had purposely tried to wreck our lives. That was because he was still connected to her. After that, I tracked his movements to be sure he wasn't seeing her anymore.
I would say really work on your confidence in yourself. I know it’s not always easy, esp in a case like this. But men want to be with a woman who is comfortable in her own skin and happy. I’ve heard several men (some who cheated) say this. Work on bettering yourself.... and he (or the person truly right for you one day) will take notice.
I am going through this same thing finding out three days ago. I am devastated seeing things I’ve read and found out about how he feels about her and what they’ve done
Oh yeah I found messages of him saying how elegant he his, how much he wants to leave me and have no feelings for me. Oh that hurts. Now he said that was just talking
@@velvetbrown74 my wife was in 7 year affair. She said she did not love him but never could say bad thing about him. She eventually said he just her as a sex thing. Could I ever really trust her? No. Sorry for your pain. It never really does go away. Always reminders especially if you continue to live in same house, same city, etc
The affairs were with my two best friends, so unfortunately I know who they are :/ but I’m working on forgiveness for them. One day at a time!
Affairs, as in more than one... And with two of your friends? Shew, that's a lot of work for you. I feel your pain. I wish you the best.
I also try...and he's been doing nice thgs for the last month...but it doesn't make me feel anymore desirable when I know what compliments he was filling her head with. It's not just the affair partner that likes to here those thgs...its everyone! He told me he finds me attractive just not in the same way and couldn't give me any examples.
Oh my... I am so sorry. I had a “best friend” do this with my boyfriend in high school and it was earth-shattering. And that was just a boyfriend and one friend. I am so sorry.
I ended up dropping both, cutting them out of my life, because it was just too toxic. I wish you peace as you work through these betrayals. Remember that you are enough and deserve so much better than that from your spouse and friends. (hugs)
Ughhhh... same. My friend/neighbor, & we still live across the street. They don't talk to each other AT all & have legal documents keeping her away from me. 👹
I know how difficult it has been for me going through what I went through. I wish I could say that I couldn't imagine what it was like having a close person betray you with your significant other, but I can say it. It happened to me decades ago as well... with one of my siblings. I did walk away from the other man, but I still have the sister.
Anyway, I understand where all of you are coming from, on more levels than I care to admit. Continued blessings and healing to all.
Almost two years after D-day, I got surprisingly triggered by this video. I guess it really touches on some truths. I really wish I could let go of the burning hate. I areslly recognize how damaging it is. 😔
The AP was a colleague. Married, very unhappily. I really see the point of her getting enthralled in all the ways he was unlike her husband. But I just can't seem to get away from devastation they knowingly caused me.
I understand exactly. It was a young woman I treated as a daughter with gifts and love. He still talks to her if she calls. Don’t know for sure. He keeps his phone private and doesn’t want to talk abt the affair. I’m 69 and been with him for 40 yrs. I’m so scared to be on my own. But I am still so hurt by them both. How could they knowingly do this to me?
As a BS, I needed to hear this. Thank you.
Other women are lonely, sad, ashamed, broken
Not true.
Nope, I wish! Not in my case.
Facts
💯
All that and still wrong!
Please talk about how you move on
Thank you for sharing
Lol! They groomed each other. My ex husband groomed her emotionally and she did him sexually. They’re a match! Best to do is make them insignificant. Focus your attention to yourself. Own your part, heal from it, so you can move on healthily. Obsessing over their relationship will only make you look crazy if it hasn’t made you crazy yet. You’ll be embarrassed later from what you did or say. Stay classy and ignore them.
This was a fantastic video, thank you.
I don’t want to see them as human, I don’t want to think about them at all.
It doesn't matter anymore...he is gone
My husband had an emotional affair with a lady from church that we had both counseled so I know who she is. In fact she told me when he ended it. Her husband is in jail.
Wayne, as always, is amazing.
I am the other woman. I did not know that he was married and that makes it even harder because I fel in love with him. Now I’m hurt because she and the children are hurt. It’s not fair that I stil want him even though i know that this is not healthy. I know that our past relationship is done because he lied to me to. I did told him all of this. I feel ashamed for still holding to him
That's different. You didn't know he was married. I would not hold a grudge towards you, he lied to his wife and to you. Shame on him. Take care 🌹
The other woman who destroyed my 36 year marriage DID know my husband was married. I know it takes two for betrayal but i thought women have a conscious.😢
Hello Wayne
What do you do or how do you handle when the AP is contacting you the betrayed constantly?
Have you tried blocking them on your phone and social media?
What does the AP want from you??
She was my best friend. That was her label
*hugs*
I understand Michelle. The other man was my best friend, in title only obviously
Yes, me too, & lives across the street from me still ☹️😩🤢. 2.5 years later...
What if the guy didn't tell you he was married and you found out after being together?
That’s the fact every. Single. Time.
Exactly! My situation right now. And do you go a step further by letting the wife know about their affair?
@@cynthiajolin2407 yes definitely
Wow …this resonates with what I’m going through now …the built up anger for the AP is damaging me slowly ..I will certainly take on board what you have said and no doubt this will kick start my healing and working on my 23 year marriage
My husband Af partner didn't know at first but she knows now and i even wrote her a letter. My husband ask to come back home I said yes . He wanted to work on marriage but here we are 7 weeks in and he is contacting her again and she won't tell him to leave her alone. She just tells him that she still loves him. Does anybody have advice?
It doesn't matter who the other woman is he can keep the other woman and whoever else you want I'm not fighting over no nonsense
Recovery 5yrs still hard to hear.
How do you forgive when you will never forget? That seems contradictory.
I know. Almost 4 years past my D Day
2 1/2 years since “D day” and I can’t do either. Not him, not them. I also can’t love anyone romantically anymore. It’s like a huge part of me has died, no, was murdered by him and his whores.
@@tryingtosurvive4386Something just died inside of my since my D-day. This year in April. I think it was joy. I'll never feel that again.
Absolutely right .
…I was cheated on…and I was the other woman….
…for a long time I am for the idea to contract’s of 5 years….I think it could safe a lot of grief!!!!!
Didnt know the ap, didnt care too, what she was doing with my husband said all that was needed abt her.. pretty sure her life is miserable as it was when that affair happened. I hope everyone finds healing ❤❤❤
When he has an affair with his EX wife after being in a marriage with me for almost 6 years??? I caught him cheating when I found nasty text messages…. He never gave me valid reasons to go back to her, but neither wanted a relationship with each other. She said she set him up to hurt me, but he participated. So I blame him more of course. Just can’t wrap my head around any of it.
Hi Wayne, Thanks for another great video. I didn't think this particular one would interest me, but I've watched it twice today,
and I found some good helpful information. I might suggest a title change though. Maybe 'Who is the Other Woman or Man ?'
Thanks for all you and your team do to help us.
I was betrayed by my husband after 36 yrs of marriage. The other woman is 12 yrs younger and she knew he was in a long year marriage. Ofcourse it takes two but I thought women think different and have a conscious but she obviously didn’t think of what she was causing. I am still heartbroken and finding it hard to move on even after 1 year. Our whole family are still suffering with his/her behavior. This woman has had lots of men but no long relationships, never been married or has children. My husband is definitely in the midlife crisis and thinks the grass is greener on the other side.
My husband had a affair with a younger woman of twenty years. Their affair lasted 3 and half years. He passed away a month after they broke up, died from COVID . We did not heal together, I had to heal and grieve by myself, still am grieving.
@@pattysimmons3191so sorry to hear. Hang in there.
What about when it is 26 years of porn? When is 7 years of paying coffee baristas to take their clothes off? How do you deal with thousands of affair partners?
How about when the other one is my own sister. He is in Love with my sister during all our marriage. And he won’t let go.
Get rid of your husband he is beyond help and has am addiction. There will always be a 3rd party in your marriage, been through this with a sex addict. No matter how great our sex was he needed porn and unlimited women on social media to pursue and flirt with. He was always sorry then did it all over again. The only freedom was removing myself.
@SusieQ1971 No, she won't leave she's far too gone and depends on him
I cannot forgive any of them so divorce is in process.
Not always we have to forgive
I believe my ex was a covert psychopath .. he was a serial cheat who felt intimidated
What if the other woman is your step sister
im the other woman in love with a married man...
Tell you what I did maybe work for u. Take the pies they are fantastic. Drop all feelings for wife you will decover there are so many wonder women in this world looking for something ur. I repeat take pies drop wife
As the AP I like this one.
Know I know the other woman.
I've been involved with a married man for 3. years, and WE AREN'T VILLIANS! Every situation is different! I didn't know he was still in a relationship, she was never in the picture, and very long story! am guessing he's got a lot to lose financially, am also guessing he's prob gotothers he's seeing, all my point is, i was/am SINGLE, and am not a child..HE is the one who's cheating, HE is the one who's being deceptive..stop putting it on the other woman, put the responsibilty where it lays! you're just looking for excuses, no it's not your fault, it is HIS