People Call Out Mom For Her Strict Rules - Must Watch
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
- PEOPLE CALL OUT MOM FOR HER STRICT RULE -
People Are Calling Out This Indian Parents For Their Strict Rule After They Posted A Video Of Them Scolding Their Daughter For Getting A Bad Grade. People Are Saying That Brown Parents Expectations Are Too High.
#mustwatch #parentingtips #badmom
YT people have the privilege of being mediocre and still having access to success and wealth. No shade it’s just a fact.
As a homeschooler, the amount of parents I’ve met who don’t have structure, no testing and say kids learn on their own is frightening. While children do have a natural desire to learn and should be able to learn is ways that work best for them, structure is necessary and so is benchmark testing. Even in homeschool.
This is true. I've seen many white and black mothers dumb down their children. But public school is no different. Although I feel sorry for those children, I do not believe in regulation or government oversight of homeschoolers. It's intrusive enough as it it and p.s are not held to the same standards.
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I don't understand why ppl think it's strict to expect your child to do good in school, 50 is not even a passing grade. If you are giving kids all the resources to succeed they should do well. I think it is only any issue when parents don't take the time to make sure their child is given the tools to learn in the best way for them.
Lazy parenting will be the downfall of the next generation.
Facts.
Yes. Always encourage kids to aim high and do the best to their ability.
I mean, I've done pretty well in my post academic life, but it would've been nice to get that encouragement to aim high from my parents. The only thing they were concerned about was whether I got to school. I was never asked about my homework, nor was I pushed to do better. I even decided to put myself through university (with no encouragement or praises from the parents).
They were only strict about whether or not I did my chores.
You want them to get good grades, but I bet you won’t teach them about sexual education. I bet you won’t teach them about emotional intelligence and discernment of people and their environment. You won’t teach them about what healthy relationships look like. You won’t teach them where self- esteem, and self- worth and value come from. Are you helping your children become themselves rather than what you want them to be?
I see some importance in grades-on a minute level. And if your teaching your children all these things on top of being strict about good grades, then I’ll shut up and apologize.
This is facts, and I see both sides of the coin. I know we need money here in this matrix but at the same time, many academics have no depth, they’re just really accomplished robots.
I am 33 and yu PERFECTLY described my upbringing.. it was ALL about what I could do academically never any of the EMOTIONAL outside of how to look aparently..
A lot of parents won't even help their children academically. All they want to see is good grades without even considering that their child may be struggling to understand a concept. Like one of the persons who stitched the video said, you have to be an active participant in your children's education.
I remember my step dad saying “You are not that weak” and I thought “You didn’t raise me to be strong you raised me to shut up and get good grades”
I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. That was difficult in an African household because people assumed I was lazy and disorganized. Neurodivergent children of my generation were struggling.
For me, the critique of my grades tricked me into thinking my value was tied to my grades, and my failing somehow made me a bad child. I never passed a science class in primary or secondary school. Math never mathed for me. Thankfully, I've always been curious and wanted to learn. I didn't realize I wasn't stupid until I got to college.
That said... none of that is happening in that video as far as I can see.
Exactly. I also dont know why some of these ppl are taking one extreme to another with "would u rather have your kid stressing they got an 80 and punish them or let them be illiterate bums?". And the confusing part is that some parents don't even get help for their kids like tutors, but would instead yell at them to improve their grades...
@smalcal6365 It's projection. Most of our parents never understood resourcing us or that sometimes a child is average academically, and that's ok. I landed in education and behavioral sciences (lol). I cosign everything she explained. She's raising well-rounded children who aren't hyperstimulated by tech.
I was also diagnosed later. My dad thought prayer would heal it 😂
I remember in middle school, we got our test scores back. I had this Indian classmate who got an 85. He then said his "dad is gonna kick his ass" for getting an 85. He was dead serious.
🤦♀️. I understand wanting your child to do well in school but that's just crazy.
85s were unacceptable in my house because my parents knew that I could get 95 or above.
85 out of what? What's the equivalent grade for 85 in America? A minus? B?
Excuse my curiosity, I was raised in the UK
@@sensimania 85/100
@@sensimaniamostly a’s are 90, sometimes 92-100. B’s tend to be 80/82-90/92. * I had a few classes that A’s were 95-100. I’m assuming these kids are young enough that was not the case.
I work with several Indian men in IT, they are very smart. They are hard on women though, a lot of them act like I shouldn't be there... so I keep my degrees framed at my desk =)
Put your degrees on your wall..you earned them . Fuck them dudes
Add a picture in your regalia, too, just in case they need a little more motivation. 💅🏽
The parents are in the wrong for posting this online. Why do these family Vlog channels humiliate their kids like this? Do they hate their kids? I know one of the reason is for views, but do they realize this is going to effect their kids. The trauma these kids are going to face by being bullied from these videos. Or the psychological damage
It’s doing to them. I wish social media platforms would have stricter rules for putting kids in videos. This is just wrong. Kids don’t forget things like this. And these parents who humiliate their kids for views.
I guarantee you a few of these parents will be back online in a few years, asking why their child went no contact with them when they moved out.
Girl bye. What a way to create problems where there is non.
@@canesugar911It is clear that you are looking for an argument which I’m not going to entertain. But you have yourself a wonderful day. 😊
That’s what I think is wrong too. For us it’s just a test but for children that’s their whole world. No one needs to know
@@srideout91 looking for an argument with my one paragraph?.....lol have a great day
Agreed. 💯
Like, why post that your kid got an 85, 50, etc. on some raggedy test that won't matter later on?! An 85 is a "B". That's a good grade!
I once asked my parents to pay me for me grades... they both said YOUR GOOD GRADES BENEFIT YOU. .....you will determine where you go on life. ...now pass me the remote.
Good parents. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾😂😂😂 like you’re already living in their house for free.
Yep. $5 for each A, $3 for each B, and no payment for Cs and below. A C is average performance, and I am not average.
I was listening to a study on the radio a year ago.. it is said that the cps cases skyrocket during report card time.. why isn’t this talked about!!? Disturbing while the literacy nation rate is on a 4th grade level
I would love to see a study like that. I found one that was posted on Reddit a few years ago but the main article was deleted but from the comments it did say it was only report cards that went out on Friday, if they where given out during the week it wasn't effected.
What is cps
@@canesugar911
Child protective services
Seriously? That's the first time I've heard of it before by the way I'm from Australia.
@@BimboCommentarythe parents were probably expecting the bruises to be gone before the kids went back on Monday.
Now what the heck how did you get a “50“ on a test ??!!!!!! YOU DID NOT STUDY!!! YOU DID NOT TRY! So they’re right make them get good grades set standards for your kids!
I bet their kids will not be degenerates or jail birds !!! Get involved yall!
Exactly!! That hustle, grit, and resilience needs to be ingrained in our youth. My classmates that were lackluster students are lackluster adults with lackluster careers.
Being strict can also lead to degeneracy or jail birds but okay. 😐
@@marissa._ Show the data of the likelihood of going to prison from strict homes with structure versus minimal to no parenting or structure. My educated guess would be that strict parenting will not be the winner.
@@marissa._rarely
@@marissa._
They’ll be least likely to go and more likely to be successful at whatever their endeavors are.
I was bright as a kid but lazy in doing my homework. My parents were not involved in my schooling at all and I ended up not finishing my higher education due to it. I’m all for parents being involved and strict, it benefits the child’s future!
Unpopular opinion from a neurodivergent: Destiny was spot on. 💯
There's people with MASTERS degrees that can't make ends meet!
Last time I checked, an 85 is a "B."
90-100 = A
80-89 = A-, B, B-
70-75 = C
60-65 = D
50 and below = F
Telling a child that they "need" to get what's considered "good grades" so that they can do "whatever they want" is gaslighting. Agree to disagree.
When he said to get "good" grades so his kid can do whatever they want, he sounds no different than a teacher telling a student: “if you don't go to college, you're going to end up flipping burgers for the rest of your life!”
Here's my question: what's wrong with that?! 🤔
What's "wrong" with flipping burgers, working retail, etc., ESPECIALLY when MOST people live mundane, mediocre, regular, lives ANYWAY?! 🤦
Imagine being so obsessed with letter grades that you can't even take to your grave when you're no longer on this earth! How sad is that?
I've always been of the mindset that a passing grade = good grade. I don't care what people think! I'll continue to have that mindset for as long as I live! Some of us struggled in school no matter how hard we tried/studied. There's people that studied their ass off and STILL failed their tests/exams! Putting pressure on your kids to do what's considered "well" or "good" in school isn't going to pay off in the long run! Here's an example: people love to say a "C" is average. So what's "wrong" with that? 🤔
What's so "wrong" about "average"?! 🤔
Is a "C" a passing grade? Yes! So therefore its not a"bad" grade! Its a good one! Same thing with a "D!" A "D" has always been passing, as it should be!
Every person isn't going to be amazing in every subject! For example, I was stronger in reading than math and science! That doesn't mean FORCING/PRESSURING someone to be good in that subject! Lecturing and yelling (*and threatening physical harm in a lot of cases*) won't improve anything! I'm NOT saying that's what happened in this video. I'm speaking in general.
As long as the person knew ENOUGH to pass that subject, that's all that should matter! Some people are good at reading, some people are bad at it! Some people are good at math and science and some people aren't! It is WTF it is! Every person is different and CAN'T be held to the same standard! They shouldn't have to be either! Some people need remedial classes and there's nothing wrong with that!
There are TOO MANY people on this internet that went to college, got good grades and have lamented about the fact that they can't find a job in the field they majored in! Sorry but gades don't matter! They never have! The only thing grades do is show that you know how to take a standardized test! Tests which exist to pigeonhole people's potential! These standardized, benchmark tests and grades are arbitrary at the end of the day. Mental health and self-esteem matter more than trying to force someone to have the aptitude for something they'll NEVER have the aptitude for!
Everyone doesn't want to work in law or medicine! Everyone CAN'T work in law or medicine! And that's okay.
Having so-called "good" grades doesn't make anyone smart or intelligent or intellectual. Just like having a degree doesn't make anyone intelligent. Richard Feynman said: "never confuse education with intelligence. You can have a PhD and still be an idiot."
Grades, regardless if they're "good" or "bad", doesn't determine how someone's future will turn out! You can try to do everything "right" and still end up with a shitty dealt hand in life!
You can get so-called "good" grade, stay a virgin until you're 20s, not have kids in your teens, not drink or do drugs, go to college (*or trade school*) and STILL end up with a crappy life! Grades don't play a role in that! There's people that didn't do so well in school, maybe even got a GED, went on to community college or trade school or got lucky and found an entry-level job and did okay for themselves. There's nothing wrong with that either. Everyone's path looks different.
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 I totally agree with you!!!! The best comment here!!!!!!💯💯💯💯💯💯
Well said my father is a retired professor all my siblings were extra smart! I can honestly say I had a reading disability but my parents got me tutors and kept me on track! But when I look back I was just lazy. Thank God I figured it out eventually!
Y’all do know doctors have failed exams and other professionals as well and they still practice. I saw someone also mention that we all end up with some type of degree. Like seriously, smh.
I think mental health is much more important than grades! I know self esteem means more than being berated for receiving a B grade! This is damaging and has life long consequences.
I’m not speaking of this family specifically just this PRESSURE COOKER some people put their children under. Some kids are not capable of meeting those ridiculous standards ‼️‼️‼️‼️
So now what? How do the parents react?
Just an alternative perspective I’ve observed in my own life 🤷🏼♀️ No hate meant those kind of expectations just don’t sound “healthy “ to me 🫶🏻
An 85 is not a ridiculous expectations
@@canesugar911 I said in the post I wasn’t addressing any SINGULAR situation. Just making a general observation. An “85” is an arbitrary number you put out there.
I love this entire comment. 💯
I agree wholeheartedly.
And yes, you're 100% correct. Everyone can't, won't and shouldn't have to meet those standards! Everyone needs to learn at their own pace and in a way that works for them! A 50, 85, etc. are arbitrary and won't matter at the end of your life anyway! There's other issues to be concerned about. Mental health is more important. There's parents that physically abuse their kids for getting less than an "A". Like, at what turning point did a "B" equal a "bad" grade??? And lecturing/forcing a child to do well in a subject that they don't have the aptitude for won't improve anything! It'll just make matters worse! Mental health, self-esteem, etc. is more important than some worthless grade in a worthless class that's not even going to be applied later on in life! I mean honestly, when was the last time you needed to know an algebraic equation at the checkout line at the grocery store??? When was the last time you needed to know how to do a specific science experiment in your adult life??? I think teaching things like financial literacy and credit matter more because that's ACTUALLY something you need to know in adulthood! Not crap that'll more than likely be forgotten as you age! So yes, I concur with this alternative perspective wholeheartedly.
@@canesugar911
An 85 IS a ridiculous expectation! The only expectation there should be is no F's! Even if getting a C or D equates to a passing grade that's all that should matter!
@@marissa._ 🎯
C's were the equivalent of F's in my house. And if I got a B, it had to be a damn good reason. If it wasn't, I was put on punishment. My parents also knew that I was capable of academic excellence, so I didn't get away with lackluster effort. I graduated in the top 10 of my HS class.
Fast forward, I finished my first semester with a 1.28GPA at one of the top universities in the country. Why? Never learned to study and never HAD to study. I wasn't out partying and skipping classes either. I went from being one of the smartest kids in my school to being in a pool full of a bunch of kids that were the smartest in their schools. I remembered how hard I grinded to pull out of that low GPA because I KNEW that I was capable of more, and my parents never took their foot off the gas.
Present day....I finished my doctorate with a 4.0 GPA while working full-time a few years ago. It's not how you start, but how you finish. And parents SHOULD push the kids who are capable of being high performers and support others who are doing the best that they can.
Education is important…….. period
Thinking back my mom was involved in my education till college. She placed me in every extra class to help with those I struggled in. I had the rest. Growing up in the Caribbean, education was a constant competition.
Grading kids is stupid lol. Its like kids have a full time job lol. School is there to prepare humans for the 9-5 work schedule.
I just had this same conversation with a random man at a rec center that i was thinking about taking my kids too. He was upset with me being a "masculine mom" a "micromanaging" mom all because my 10 yr old doesnt have a cell phone 😂. Yet hes had 3 tablets in the last 4 years (one that he won at echool for doing all his winter break work) I make my oldests read 4 ch a day EVERY day before he is allowed to do anything. Thats my only requirement.. He is also an honor roll student and reads at a higher level then most of his classmates. I want my kids to be able to achieve more than what me and their father (my husband) ever had
Everybody doesn’t learn the same way I’m a visual learner if you show me what to do I can comprehend better than if you gave me verbal or reading instructions and I also struggle with word problems but since first grade I could read ,pronounce words very well but ask me what the word means that’s another project but my mom would say no one’s perfect but I expect you to give it your best and you know if you did or not but try very hard and don’t spend too much time on one problem or word in reading.
Every child is different and their brains develop differently. The eff I struggled in math and still do. Kids try and cut the kids some slack, geesh. I’m a parent btw.
No matter the grades everyone ends up with the same degree in college.
Not really… if you end up with C and Bs - you won’t be able to get into medical school for example
That's so true.
I don't know who this person is but it always amazes me how everything gets turned around to blame the mom. The Dad is supposed to be the head of the house right? He was the one who stated the rule for the test score. How is she being dragged? The whole family is together, mealtime together the same room and not in front of the television, Dad in the home, making rules and reinforcing the rules that mom makes, and the family discussing education and the future will probably lead to successful children. This should be a goal not a reason for ridicule.
Murica
@@canesugar911 The whole world my guy
@@digimonalvatrax2738 I don't live in America, I'm speaking from experience
Not strict at all. A 50 is failing. Any good parent would want more for their child.
I mean asking for above a C/low B isnt bad and 50 means she wasnt trying or needs help. Either way its clear shes not understanding the material.
Every child is different and their brains develop differently. The eff I struggled in math and still do. Kids try and cut the kids some slack, geesh. I’m a parent btw.
Growing up my mom was too overwhelmed to worry about my grades but she was supportive of good ones but I do wish she went a little harder because I do struggle academically. I do also have ADHD which doesn’t help. My little sister taught herself to read at 3 and I apparently caught on quite fast as a kid but it’s hard to focus on when you’re in survival mode.
This video unfortunately triggers me because my sisters are currently not given any structure and neither was I. I pray I can break that.
I have the belief that almost every kid has the ability to do exceptionally well in school. It all depends on the support of those around them, and the environment. Unfortunately, a lot of kids are lacking in one or both of those things. Even if you have want to get your kids some type of tutoring, you have to have the funds to do so, and it’s super expensive. So I could imagine the amounts of kids who need help but can’t get it because the school is useless… probably due to lack of funding, and they simple can’t afford to spend what some of these places are charging for tutoring sessions.
I remember I was always in the top 3 in school and not being too of the class was always a problem for me. My parents were abusive so they went overboard and beat me for bad grades but aiming for 85 isn't too bad in my opinion.
When i was in 2nd grade I got like a 7.8 on my progress report in November (mind you I was always the youngest since my birthday is in late October so I had just turned 7). I was so scared of my parents that I didn't show it for over a week. Finally my teacher pulled me aside and i broke down crying because i knew I'd get beaten. She couldnt understand because she was French and she told me to tell my parents not to beat me(little did she know, this would piss them off even more that I told her about "our family business".) Anyway, if I didnt tell them she'd have to call home and that would make things worse for me so, that day I told my stepdad when he picked me up. He didnt talk to me the whole ride home. When we got there, I got to shower and then was sent outside to kneel in the gravel in the hot afternoon sun. I ate on my knees, did my homework and studied on my knees. My mom got home around 6-6:30pm and i was still there. She didn't let me up and went inside when she learned what happened. It got dark and I had to stay there even though i was terrified of the dark back then(this was in Haiti and there was no electricity that night.) My mom came to get me around 9pm- one whole hour past my bedtime- she told me to go apologize to my "dad" so i can prepare for bed. I went and apologized and he never looked at me or responded. After the third time saying sorry, I left crying. They dodnt beat me because i told him waht the teacher said but you better believe this punishment would've still been given *after* getting whipped with a belt. Btw, he refused to signe the progress report so my mom had to do it.
All this to say, pushing for academic success is not abuse even though there is a line that parents shouldn't cross.
Making all A's does not mean the child is smart just like earning the highest wages in US doesn't mean that demographic is hardworking. There are always going to biases that is going to help a group succeed more than the other. Not only that, if yall only knew the politics behind grades and how many of these people pay for professionals to take their university exams! Of course the children in this video aren't doing this but many Asian university students do. And let's not forget about parents enforcing themselves on teachers to give their students better grades or allow them to retake test scores. Oppositely, Black parents teach their children consequences: You better study for this test and make a decent grade but if you fail, that is on your future. Some people say respond that it's not working Black people but it is. Ultimately, Black people fail when we try to learn from different races.
Success in academia holds significant importance, especially in the academic journey of our children. Given the various challenges they may face, I believe it's crucial for them to excel in their academic pursuits. Parents should consider being more stringent regarding academics, allowing children to explore other aspects at a later stage. Emphasizing academics is vital, especially since education in the United States is accessible at no cost, unlike in other nations where sending children to school poses challenges.
My mom was super strict with my education growing up. I had a panic attack when I was 11 because my overall average was a 79. And my mother told me if I got anything below an 80 I would be in trouble. Yet my little brother continuously failed classes in high school and he can still go out with friends and she still gifted him a brand new HP laptop 😂 maybe because I’m the oldest and only daughter 🤷🏾♀️
Destiny I use to hate reading at some point when I was young. But I remember my mom starting to give me books and ask me to summarize her the stories.
And let me tell you, through the years, my punishments became taking my book away 😂.
Now that I’m working, I bought my electronic book library that I have w/ me at all time I can.
Sometime you have to push the child a bit. If even w/ that, they don’t like it, then you let it go.
I'm a Millenial, born to two Boomer parents in Finland in the mid-1980s. I generally did pretty well in school, so I avoided the discussions about my parents being disappointed in my efforts to do my best most of the time. When I was 16, I ended up not giving a f'ck in one of my maths courses, because the teacher was horrible, had favourites and did things that did not work with my sense of morality and fairness. I had to explain to my parents why my maths grade dropped from the equivalent of an A- to a D in the space of a few months and while they didn't necessarily disagree with WHY I did it, they still said I should have dealt with it better, and my mum made me do all of the maths exercises from the course book during our winter holiday. She told me, point blank, that it wasn't a punishment, but I needed to do it, so that I didn't end up hurting my future options in a fit of teenage pique.
So I would say that it's not just a brown parent thing, but can also be a European parent thing and a "tell me that one of your parents is a teacher, without telling me that one of your parents is a teacher" thing. My parents were usually OK, as long as they knew I was trying my best, even if the results weren't the greatest. I was never shamed for not being particularly good in PE or art, but God help me if they thought I wasn't trying.
Yeah I’m Black American and I get it that other children raised elsewhere may feel like it was stressful but I think being pushed to greatness is a good thing. I am raising my daughter with some pressure academically. I’m not letting up. She’s gen Alpha so basically she’ll be competing with A.I. I’m pushing her to be intelligent and to do well academically. If she’s upset now as a child I’m okay with that she can thank me later.
As a Nigerian, i actually thought their reaction was super nice 😂😂😂
I didnt see anything mean about the dad's reaction. She got off easy!
Ugh, I was treated much worse than that, my mother would smack me on my head whenever I so much as wrote an alphabet letter the wrong way, despite being in kindergarten.
A 50 is not good idc but I gave incentives for my children getting good grades 💯
19:20 mom‘s response was absolutely perfect and on point. She’s completely reasonable. I’m speaking from a non-parental point of view. I’m lucky enough to come from two people who tell me that my happiness and success on my terms is good enough for them. That’s the reason I don’t have a shitty boyfriend or a shitty life.stay safe and hydrated everybody
Tbh, we had the same pressure from our parents. You had to be first in class or third at least.
We had everything set in place to be able to have that. We had tutors If a class was too hard for us. A teaching schedule that was instilled at home since we were 5.
We all left and went to university at the age of 17.
If my parents hadn’t done that, I don’t know if o would have been able to be on my own in Canada without supervision and maintain that structure for my studies.
I’ve seen so much of my africain fellows failed here because they haven’t had a good structure growing up.
Today all 4 of us are fully independent w/ high paying jobs!
I’ll forever thank my parents for that ❤
This was exactly our life! No tv Monday through Friday, no phone in the bedroom etc, we had taekwondo Tuesday and Thursday, swim class on Saturday. All of that was during the school year.
To me this is not at all extreme and I know that I’ve been blessed to have access to all of these things.
Sooo here early 😅
I didn't even realize how early I was too. UA-cam pushing her out. I'm proud.
There’s nothing wrong with these parents. They expect the best from their kids as they should. End of story.
Sorry I totally agree with the family! My daughter got an 88 in a class. She lost her tablet and her sleepover was cancelled until her grade improved. Hear me out I'm a teacher and my mother was a teacher so academia was pushed. The only reason I punished my daughter for her 88 because she had a 91 in that class last 9 weeks was because she wasn't bringing her homework home for me to check and go over it, she was sneaking and watching extra TV late at night. And I made it very clear that it's one thing to be lazy and make an 88 and drop that far It's another thing to actually say hey I'm struggling on this particular skill. Not to mention I spoke to her teacher and she confirmed that my daughter was slacking a little bit in class. So I have a master's degree I expect my children to be financially better than me so yeah I'm going to push my children to be good human beings and smart human beings.
I know that's right! Great job!! 👏
If she's slaking in class and wanting to consume more entertainment maybe try speaking to her rather than punishing her. Remeber not everyone has the same goals and aspirations in life. You might be well educated but your daughter might want something else. This will only create resentment.
Yikes I’m a teacher with a masters as well. You should know grades are arbitrary.
@@easiersaidwithmeg This.
@@nebbbship two different teachers can give the same essay different grades. It’s literally personal preferences. Then you graduate and no one ask you your grade on a random science test in middle school.
I tell my kid all the time just because she is blasian doesn’t mean she needs to get B’s she asian so I expect A’s😅she is a good student because I help her and make sure we put that work in together encouraging and rewarding
I seen some videos of people saying homework is not necessary and they aren’t going to force their kid to do homework and I’m like so you don’t want your kid to have the best success chances and when they are failing they will want to blame the teacher for sure because homework and reinforcing learning material is unnecessary 🥱🤦🏾♀️
Yea.... My mother acting crazy over my grades, getting anything less than a 97 percent, and yes it could still be an A... That's why I didn't tell her about my grades in college and I don't tell her about my grades now in my doctorate degree. She asks, I don't tell. I just tell her that if she sees the degree on the wall, then I passed.