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Men (Over 40) Don't Want a Feminine Woman, They Want This Instead
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- Опубліковано 25 чер 2022
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Get Him To Commit Before Sleeping Together (The Dating Vow)
Have you ever heard the saying: Women are the gatekeepers of sex, and men are the gatekeepers of commitment?
The "Dating VOW" Before Sleeping Together
I ___________________ agree to explore the process of getting to know you with the intent to declare something serious in the next 3 to 6 months.
I ___________________ agree to be monogamous sexual while we have regular sex together
I ___________________ agree to not actively seek to meet/date others while we are in this dating process (include taking down dating profile)
I ___________________ agree to speak up if this isn't working for me vs. pulling back, ghosting or disappearing
I __________________ agree to invest regular time in this process of getting to know you which looks like this ______________
90% of men will bail on this because thousands of women will have sex without any commitment/agreement whatsoever. If all women are banned together (going forward), this will change how men treat/view sex, but in the meantime, if he does agree, you have a better chance of commitment than without it.
I love when a man brings out my feminine energy. I’ve noticed if I don’t respect a man, my masculine energy comes out. I get bossy or harsh. Mocking femininity is not cool. Embrace women’s feminine sides. We can be both independent/strong and feminine. I don’t want to be a man.
Perfectly, said!!! Me, too!!!
Agree..
Agreed... being a woman is a wonderful thing...we should be able to celebrate it without being made to feel like we're being too feminine...everyone should embrace both the feminine and masculine if they feel it suits them
Yes exactly ~ We can be very feminine and still be strong and successful. With my guy, I really love being feminine which doesn’t necessarily mean being really submissive. There’s definitely a nice balance that can be attained.
@@NancyGlynn I agree. I've only had one man bring out my feminine energy, I didn't know what to do with it at first and was way past empowered energy on how I treated him. 12 years later we're trying again, and this time I'm not fighting my feminine energy that comes out, as well as properly channelling my empowered energy too.
Jonathan, I am an older woman and I believe that a successful, self-confident and independent woman can still be feminine; let's not confuse submissiveness (heaven forbid!) with femininity. Too many women today emulate mens' aggressive and often vulgar behavior. it's possible to remain gentle and caring while handling traditional male roles.
Totally agree. Some of these women exude more masculine energy than the men. Then can’t figure out why the men back off.
SPOT ON!! SISTER!! SPOT ON!!
I'm a men (39) and I absolutely loved your comment Janet Blanc!!! So very well put it shows he (Jonathan) still in the process of figuring out from a men's stand point of view and NOT ready for a video of 20 minutes talking about a subject he is not really well versed on.
I totally agree with you...very well said.
Is he Johnathan showing any empathy or genuine interest in how women function?
My mother told me and my sister, learn to take care of yourself, you never can depend completely on a man. She was married 60 yrs, thought she had no clue, my husband died after 35 years, and my sister divorced, guess she knew something!!
I got to say that after hearing the story of how you initially met your gf, to me it didn't sound as 2 people investing equally. She reached out 1st and emailed you and after the phone call, a week later, she had to call you to follow up. Seriously Jonathon? you, the one that has studied relationships couldn't reach out and tell her you saw red flags on the phone call. Lucky for you she really liked you and in my view went the extra extra mile. Yes double extra.
I get that middle age men don't want to put effort but no effort means no interest. It might be naive of me to believe that the man that wants to be w me will show effort but I'm willing to hold out for that type of man.
So true!
Absolutely! Same thing with friends!
I agree that many middle-aged men put little effort in. From the photos they use online, to the 5 word messages they send that expect to lead to dates.
No.
Not gonna happen.
I put effort in and if it isn't matched...
Match energy, innit?
🖖🙂
@Alexander hope you enjoy your solitude and old age alone then
One more thing women have to do. Feel like we're still in the 1900s, men need to feel like they own us and are in charge, but do absolutely nothing to earn that pedestal!! The woman has to be the one to make all the effort?!?! Wth?!?
If You want lasting relationship sorry,I disagree.Nothing has changed in centuries.Men chase....they stay with those who are focus of love. When women chase it does not give him chemistry to the level you are the prize.Its 🧪 biology....chemistry.Books can’t teach school of hard knocks. I stand my ground be independent be strong but not so strong you cannot let them make you happy.They want to make you happy...period.
having failed my whole life at romance, by now I know you are right. Courting is hard-wired, he pursues her. I never realised that at the time.
Yip spot on
I’m older too, very feminine, independent, not desperate, gentle, good hearted, friendly for this world, and I don’t care what they say about me. I don’t want to change to agressive, I stay the way I am. That’s me. There’s too less kindness in this world. ❤
Yes, totally agree with you.
Agreed totally!
Feminine Energy = Feminine Power! It's where assertiveness meets elegance &class while leaving room for the man to still reign in his own nature. We're not chasers, hunters nor aggressors. Going after what we want requires a level of confidence &self awareness that is exuded in our feminine energy 🤷🏾♀️
I agree with you completely ❤
Let me just say this, life is not ever about what men want! It’s you! Making yourself happy & loving yourself is the only way you can be open to true love. You won’t allow half assed breadcrumbs for shit. Because you know you’re worth more, no matter how much you love someone. 😘 & also our femininity & being in tune with our authentic selves is exactly what attracts men.
I'm a successful business owner and a single parent. The last thing I want is the role of being a man in a relationship. It's refreshing to be just a woman and embrace all involved with this around a man. Now don't get me wrong, I plan dates, trips and pay for things. I don't cook, so that's out the window. lol For me, if he's remotely feminine, it's a huge turn off.
I think you can still be strong and feminine . Probably a time to be in your own power and a time to be feminine !
Candy Smith grat point. Me: why you need man if you have to be one in the relationship.
We have both energies but they need to be balanced. I like when men cook (I know how to cook, but I don’t have time for it, too busy).
The last thing I want is a wishy washy guy. I was a single mom also and built a business from scratch. I'm very much a woman and very much a leader and a doer in the world. What I want in a man is someone who can take charge intelligently allowing me to reconnect with my softer feminine energy which I rarely get to do.
His masculinity allows me to relax and just be....ahhhh....
@@janeta3509 What I've been feeling but couldn't Verbalize it! Yes I love a manly man who can take charge and Lead. I'm an Entrepreneur and Single Mom too. Its Exhausting and would love to have a Godly masculine man that makes me feel Secure & Protected 🥰😍🤩
Feminine and masculine energy is a natural way of being… it’s not acting or pretending. Men who operate from their masculine energy are natural protector/providers…. It’s an active energy. Feminine energy is not passive, it is receptive. And if you don’t operate in that polarity, there won’t be any erotic polarity, which is what is needed if you want a successful relationship.
Not true.
That's one perspective
Yes receptive not paasive.
Absolutely, for couples that have remain successfully committed !
This is why the old school marriage works !!
Laurie Mayer, I have been with men in all their masculinity and they were far from being protective providers, especially the provider part. Some of these types of men are just insecure ! Just sayin!
Men over 40 who never married don't know what they want (or if it's a woman they want at all). You should make a video about this group.
Well that’s not true as I know what I want but am super selective and I don’t like added stress or to make my life more difficult. I like to address things when I see them not just let them go. In my 20’s and 30’s I was in a different position and didn’t want the distraction. I have always known what I want but I had life dreams I wanted first. I just realized 3 years ago that women find me intimidated and were scared of me because they didn’t want to get rejected(which I have rejected a lot women) but it was because I thought they were just playing games with my head do to my disability) and the way I Carry myself.
I thought all long I was disliked by women my whole life so I just left them alone and went my own way.
@@JohnSmith-ij4xe This is exactly what I'm talking about, you want too much, you're super picky to the point that you can't tell what matters and what doesn't and you're not likely to ever find anyone that fits your extensive criteria. This extreme pickiness may be something that comes with age or maybe you've been sabotaging yourself your whole life, who knows. You have to ask yourself why though. You've made it more complicated than it needed to be, you're seeing things that aren't there, you've made excuses for yourself for why you haven't found anyone...and chances are that you never will probably because deep down you don't want to. And btw, no one is intimidated by you, that's not what the problem is. All the best!
Women get burned too more so than men If a man can't be the man in his 40s 50s 60s he doesn't deserve a woman. Your conversation sounds very passive. That's a real turn off to any woman at any age.
They want a woman that is self sufficient and able to take care of them.
Some do...
@@JonathonAslay lol, yes, some men do. I guess that wasn't the answer.😁
Exactly, some want a modern self sufficient woman and at the same time traditional meaning taking care of them, the kids, the home, and themselves! It's exhausting 😪
Yes, men like women who are able to take good care of themselves so the men don't have to put that much effort 😒
@@SwietaRuda .
Yes, and then the woman is the one supporting the lazy, looser, stupid husband !!.
I think someone should start a channel on how to date with a disability. Many of us look "normal", are very attractive, and get hit on incessantly. However, our disabilities hinder us from being able to be independent. It is cruel, because most of us are very strong women, we persevere and take the little we have and make something out of it. We can't do everything that is expected of a "normal" person. But we are still worthy of love. Dating for the disabled. Maybe some day.
🙋♀️ yes, I'm independent but I need help. I'd love to date and be honest.
That’s a great idea. New website idea. I bet a lot of people need this
Terri- I’m sorry to hear that. What a weak man. Hope you are doing ok. A lot of strong men out there.
I need that video too.
To the woman with cancer (I no longer see your comment), I wasn't able to reply right away because I was using another device but I am so sorry you had to endure that. So much for " In sickness and in health". Just remember, there is someone for everyone. You deserve love. Stay strong.
Choosing wisely is incredibly important.
I’m now so underwhelmed by men who are emotionally unavailable.
That’s a great thing!
Appreciate decent honest present inspired transparent individuals so much.
I’ve watched you for a while now and you’ve helped me navigate so many dating issues. I have to say, it us so much easier to listen when you speak calmer and aren’t yelling or shouting! I understand you get excited and passionate but this message resonated with me so much more, even if I don’t always agree with your points, and it was easier to listen to you. So thank you!
To be feminine to attract is like trying to be sexy to attract and then you get the guy who wants sex only and no relationship/friendship. Meeting people on the internet is harder.
Attraction though is not compatible... would you agree?
@@JonathonAslay People may not know if they are compatible until the spend a week together 24 hours a day and the mask comes off.
@@Shasha8674 I like the 100 hour suggestion Jonathon made in other videos. I should have tried that earlier on!
We can read and blah, blah, blah but the bottom line is.... 99% of men simply want SEX.
@@Shasha8674 omg you NAILED IT
Jonathon, your candor in this video is so appreciated! 😍 I was afraid at first to express how I felt to my new guy because I was afraid that would mean I wasn't being in my "feminine energy"... But I knew that this was a an emotionally healthy man who wasn't the type to play games and I sensed that he would appreciate radical honesty more than anything else. So I went ahead and expressed to him how I felt. I told him that I thought he was a quality guy and that I liked him, and that I was very open to how this would play out. He LOVED hearing that and it elevated our relationship and made us even closer! 😊
Empowerment is awesome 👌 👏 👍🏼
Good for you! He’s a keeper. Bravo.
Your response to your guy his very feminine! You told him how you “felt,” that you “liked” him. That’s being feminine! You were speaking from your heart; you were expressing yourself; you were being receptive to him, and accepting of his advances. You were opening your heart and being to him. That’s being feminine! I love it. Being feminine isn’t being passive. It’s speaking your desires.
we know each other already - I am a feminine energy coach and what I teach is exactly what you're describing in this video, being empowered, communicating honestly from the heart, being the emotional leader to inspire him to connect to his heart...so ya I don't know which feminine energy coaches you've been watching that are aggravating you. I love your work and I feel its super aligned with what I teach my clients and I call myself a feminine energy coach, keep up the amazing vibe and beautiful sharing xx
Jonathan , speak for yourself. Just because we are divorced does not necessary mean we are all emotional wrecks !
I am not hear to defend Jonathon. Dont most of us all have emotional bagagge and issues we must address. Daily we must look in the mirror and observe the words we say, our reactions.... and how might we do something differently to tweak up our skills. At least this is how I see it Colin. I would love your feedback.
It’s his video.
Im in my late 30s. Men in their 40s are my main target but I agree it’s been an emotional roller coaster. In less than 2 months I’ve had guy a/ who actively pursued me, told me he wanted to expand his family, was talking about the ideal woman being, a great confident,being nurturing like his mother, having social skills, giving great sex. I have all these qualities but He ended up breaking up with me because I refused to have unprotected sex with him. Everything he said just vanished. He blew up on me during an intimate moment & i felt totally lost. I agreed to be intimate but now I wasn’t enough because he didn’t want to wear a condom for our FIRST time… i ditched him.
Guy 2/ says he’s a Christian. Let me know right away he doesn’t believe in sex before marriage. We go on 2 dates he just hugs me at the end of each date like I’m a friend. then today sends me a message saying he’s not interested in going further because « he feels like it’s the right time to break up » and « there was nothing wrong » like what do you mean? We had nice dates and were talking everyday! I’m like something is wrong. These men say they want one thing then totally go the opposite way. They don’t know what they want. I think dating using apps is just a matter of luck. There’s no real formula to get them to commit.
I thought this only happens to me here in Switzerland. I don t know what happened that I m already 50 years old. Every story with men goes wrong. I feel so empty and lost.
It's because they are mentally off due to p@rn addiction.
Guy 1 sounds like he wanted to knowingly give you a STD. Getting mad at you for not wanting to have unprotected sex is a huge red flag! 🚩🚩🚩
I noticed that some girls were telling me on a dating app the guys send the first message and engage the conversation with a girl, asking her how are you what are you doing today, how was your day, etc,,, when the girls are asking it to set a date guys vanishing it. The girl was smart and realized she looked pretty in her pictures guys reach out next county and tried to look interesting and what was happening was these guys were using her just by talking it making him feel good about himself, giving him a boost this pretty girl is interesting me building his confidence by using the girl so he can chase the real his target's. And some people even go on dates just to go out and get some sense of someone who desires them. It's all about confidence boots as supply make them feel good. it's a weird world,, who trusts what to trust.
I think it's problematic. People seem to be emotionally ruined and don't know what they want or if they want anything at all. I stopped trying to date, I'm done.
So many men my age act like they are 10 years older. No thanks, not being anyone's nurse, housekeeper or baggage handler.
Baggage handler ? 😂😁🤣 Good one
I agree 100%. I taught my daughters they should have a career and not to depend on a man. I’m a widow for 30 years, never remarried. Thank you.😊
Exactly 👍
I love your advice but I am a very feminine, strong independent woman. I love to get outdoors and get dirty and light up a ballroom also! A guy must take me like I am and I will do my best to except a man just like he is.
I had horrible experience witch 50 y.o. man. He was so lazy (maybe this is old age related) till he make me feel so unworthy. I have to finish this.
I am 40 and I have enaugh energy for 2 people, but I do not want do it all alone !
If I don't find energetic man older than me I will go for younger or stay alone.
Honestly who gives a shit what men want?! Lol! One should focus on themselves....
While I fully agree, it still seems like women fixate on men just like men do for women...
In my opinion, women fixate on one man while men fixate on many women.
All the women posting seem to be part of the 80% damaged. Self centered, picky, judgemental, and inflexible. Doomed to sleep with cats and dogs for the rest of their lives. Just date for fun. Have a good time. If something magical happens, then great. Don't take dating so seriously when your over 50. You will be dead soon enough.
Well yes if you want to be alone. People, yes including men want someone that cares about what they want. Just like I’m sure you want someone to care about you.
@@katemiller7874 I truly love being alone.... Don't assume you know what I want. I am surrounded by amazing friends and I've loved and lost and NOT looking for a man to validate me.
if you do all the work though, wont they just take you for granted? :-( This makes me sad because even if you are over 40 you still want to be looked after a bit by a partner
He didn’t say anything in this video about doing all the work. How did you come to such an extreme conclusion? He’s letting women know that they shouldn’t be 100% passive and wait for men to do everything. Which can mean doing just 10% more effort to open up and sharing your feelings about the relationship. It takes two to build a relationship, not one.
@@biancamichelle11 have you ever been in a relationship with a man? Theyre lazy AF
I appreciate your emphasis on listening, empathy, transparency, and communicating your truth effectively in this video. This is so good!
Thanks for sharing this...your relationship journey is helpful to us. I would be direct and honest with the RIGHT MAN. I've had so many one dates lately because so many men are emotionally constipated and unconscious - especially if they are older and never married. The lack of self awareness is mind boggling - especially in mid life.The division in the country has also become a problem - men state they want a woman to share their political views which is ridiculous. I literally say to the universe that the next date I want to go on is with my future husband. PS I am reading Why Men Love Bitches Again. I forgot how good this book is.
Humans are rather messed up 🤪
@@JonathonAslay Yes and I am not saying I'm perfect -far from it; I am messed up too but at least honest about it lol - I've done the work and still do,
A lot of good points Johnathon. I think many of us older women are not used to making the 1st move, we were brought up differently than that and it is rather difficult to change your programming, but you are right dating isn't like it was 20 years ago. I don't even know if men ask women out on dates anymore , I haven't partook in the dating scene for quite a few years. I have a happy life but sometimes I think it would be nice to be able to go to dinner or a movie or just sit and have coffee and chat with a decent man and become friends.
Yes, men DO still ask us out on dates.
🙂
Don't worry, I'm a millennial. I'm confident and feminine and have gone after men I've liked. It doesn't work, they don't want that either. I've concluded that people are emotionally messed up and most just want to be left alone regardless of what they say.
I think we need to be in a receiving role. As we are the yin. But don’t take no shit either.
Those older men looking for women partners who live as "men who wear skirts"- these men often treat their partners as business partners.
Nothing like a selfish man who treats their partner like an employee or a tenant.
Who needs men who do not appreciate genuine feminine traits in real women?
Your points make total sense.
Thanks for expanding my reading list!
I love watching you Jonathon, so rare & few like you, you are probably my favourite to listen to. You are down to earth, any woman would be blessed to have a man who thinks like you. Your personality and rapport are levelled and you desire to help women which is admirable. Best of luck to you abd this amazing women you talk about!! She sounds like a gem!!
I also think it’s important to note many men don’t want to date women of their generation. I sometimes think it’s just a false hope we try to give women now. Men do not really want to date women past there forties. I wish it were not so.
Then date younger. My love interest is in his 30s and I'm in my early 50s. I don't look my age and am often mistaken for being in my 30s. However, I am healthy, have the wisdom of experience, and he is magnetized to me. He's mature and successful in his career more so than men older than he, but without the extra baggage and bitterness. It's been an interesting experience.
Jonathan - I'm so glad you've found someone. You're both willing to think outside the 📦 box and that's a good beginning. No matter what, you're each living your truth.
Exactly... thank you 😊
I am not a human emotional can opener.
Why men love bitches is a book that I read periodically to remind me of my value :)
I just purchased one of the books you recommended. Thank you for looking after us older daters💖 I will be 51 this year & have been struggling with dating. I felt what you said about leading a little. I grew up being told that the man should always lead and I am trying to reprogram the way I see relationships.
Be careful. Read the Bitch books, they help. But the dating scene has changed a LOT! Men now want a woman to do all the work, and they expect it. It's worse than in the 1950s. At least back then, you got to marry the guy. lol
Men today have been so sissified & beaten down that it will take a generation to build them up to be real men again - self confident & unafraid of love in the true sense. Women can still be feminine & independent without the modern day pushiness! Every relationship is different & cannot be tarred with the same brush.
I am a very present and engaging woman. I'm strong and gentle yet vulnerable under the right circumstances. I find my powers of observation given a little time can reveal so much about the people you are meeting. More conversation is needed before physical closeness to feel natural. The best love of my life is on its way it's nearby. And I can only find him if I am walking as I am. I want him to be who he is . And however it evolves or not will be the best outcome . Authenticity is so important for connection.
Jonathan your a legend! Whilst I’ve been watching this I’ve sent a message to my guy and really opened up and just said how I feel very directly. Thank you so much this video was extremely helpful. I agree that as women we need to learn how to discern when our masculine or feminine energy is needed. I think it’s an art and takes time and practise and we have to be willing to embrace this journey and allow ourselves to make mistakes. As a woman of 50 now I know my wounding comes up and it’s a process but eating this and hearing this perspective was particularly helpful today because I’ve been quite stuck in fear and this really enabled me to free up my energy and heart. I really value your work! 🙏👑💗
Yes, the answer is not always to lean back!
Exactly 👍
I was raised religiously, where the man is the head, and women need to submit and follow. I totally disagree. Even when young. I wish I'd been taught better as a child. I'm learning that we need to be equal, the dynamic fluctuates, but they need to listen, love unconditionally, and support each other. I've learned so much in the past couple of years, I wish I'd learned many years ago. I agree with you totally.
Haven’t women always been the emotional caretaker in the relationship? 🤔
if a man in his 40’s, 50’s or 60’s can’t be bother to go after what he wants and wants the woman to make the move or effort, then move on. For me, this is a red flag.
This can be indicative of how he might manage the relationship, if it ever becomes one.
When I see a profile where the man hasn’t bothered to me complete anything in his profile and all he says “I’m open book, Ask me anything”
This translates to a man who is emotional unavailable, probably terrible communication and doesn’t share anything unless you drag it out of them. 🤨 Swipe Left and save your energy. These are time wasters.
Jonathon the more I listen to you,the more I’m learning and putting into practice, your doing me so much good,
Thank you for your wisdom.xx
Awe... thank you 😊
Being in your feminine energy is not sitting back and expecting him to do everything. I’ve watched a lot on the topic and none that I have ever say that. From what I’ve seen it’s all about being honest with what you want and how you feel. Staying in your feminine with draw masculine men and not feminine men towards you. It also helps prevent you from chasing a man who ho is not really interested and is just entertaining you in the short term. It’s a beautiful place for a woman to be. Its brings out her best qualities in my opinion ❤
On some level some of these coaches imply doing what I suggest.
There is truth and what you’re saying but you haven’t mentioned the reason why… As men get older their testosterone levels go down. As women get older their testosterone levels go up. Women as they get older and become more assertive and men become more passive. So I’m dealing with a man over 50 I have to be more assertive. A good friend of mine who is a man gave me some great advice about men. He said men don’t get subtleties. You have to shoot them between the eyes. This is figuratively speaking of course. I don’t understand how you call a relationship when you talk to somebody on the phone only has a relationship. It’s a limited relationship but I would never ever commit myself to a man that I did not see in person regularly because that’s how you really get to know somebody. Wishing you the best!
That's one reason for sure
The disclaimer about focusing on what the woman wants..... hahahaha! Good one! Why don't you try that for a while? See what happens.
I can't do long distance relationships. Online, I get contacted by lots of men who live out of state and they pursue me the hardest. I'm immediately suspicious of them thinking they might have already have a wife/girlfriend. (I would have no idea who he lives with, if I can never go to his home) I just don't trust it!
I am independent , and dependent too. I call mySelf I'm a woman of variation, mixed . In fact we build our home without interrupting my husband's time and job, though i express also my expectations . I can say I'm delighted about mySelf. Though I want a man's help but i chose not to expect and I just do what I can , I do my best anyways my daughter is there and my son to support me . I don't want much instruction or to tell ppl what to do. I want " kusang loob " in tagalog. I want people to think but also I chose to understand.
Yes share with us your journey in the same way we share ours too. Sharing is care, sharing is love 🧡, sharing is we are concern.
I think telling your expectation is good also.
It's an Equal Partnership 💖 Companionish of One other.
Being In Vulnability Compassion Loving way. Accepting one another Where you from & Who you are...God is in our Life for A Reason. You Are Enough.
Being Secure in Control of Yourself. Connecting with Honesty is answering yes or no. Empowering Both sides. Genuine Truth Love of Commitment Growing Old with Each Other.
Thanks for sharing 🙏
I find it appalling that not one person has mentioned what God intended for the woman. KJV 1611 Genesis, the woman is to be an helpmeet. Think about that. What does a helper do? They complete. They make the man whole and perfect him.
Everyone’s love needs are different. Some women prefer and enjoy to lead the relationship. Others feel better and prefer when men leads.
That’s how I see it 😊
FYI: Re: The Partridge Family- the Shirley character did date in a few episodes but the writers did not give them a "future".
In real life, Shirley Jones' love life well-documented. For a woman from a small PA town, she has become a true role model & national treasure.
I’m your fan, congratulations in your new relationship, wish you the best!!
So I was trying to figure out why I was not breaking thru to this one guy that I was falling in love with. It took much research on my end to figure he was gay. I was broken hearted.
well, it has nothing to do with how old the person is. if the man is really interested , he will do the first move. that´s how my father trained me. a man will always be a conqueror, that´s their nature. i believe on him because he said that base on his experience. my father pursued my mother for almost 3 years until she said yes. few months later they got married and blessed with 6 healthy and lovely children. my mother passt away after 26 years of marriage. even after her death, my father remained single for 25 years. he died at the age of 84 yrs old and happy because he believed he´s going to met my mother again. my parents are my idol when it comes to a happy , loving, loyal, and respectful relationship. because they are the best example that TRUE LOVE really exist and comes only once in life . if you find it, no one can replace that person. besides, as a christian, we only get married one time and it should be forever. of course, if you have no feelings anymore for your partner, then you can seperate ways, but you can never marry again.
Jonathon, i am hooked...i do my house chores listening to your old videos. What a wealth of knowledge and wisdom! This has been the best use of my time ever. I say Amen any time you say something that resonate with me. Thank you! One of the best day of our life is the day we discover WHY we were born( from NOWHERE) into this NOW HERE...and live up to accomplish our mission before returning to NOWHERE( creator). I pray you open your eyes to see that everything that happened to you were preparing you/ equipping you with tools to do this work. Jonathon you were born for this type of work to make a difference in so many people's lives. .You pour your heart /passion into this work...i just love it. Of course, you sprinkle your messages with warning to put breaks on "before the P enters the V ladies!" and that cracks me i laugh out loud LOL.
Thank you Jonathon....from sn under 40 woman with babies under 5. I am sharing your messages to my biological sisters and their friends ( women in their 20).
awe... thank you so much.
I realized that I may die alone without a husband. I have no children never been married.
@AmalYah Yisrael: At age 65, I am divorcing an emotionally unavailable man. He masked at first and is a very different man than the one he presented before marriage. He said he just can’t keep up the facade or mask. We have no children. I will be alone but I would rather be alone than lonely in my marriage. I am creating community, new friends, new interests, and a new life. Onward and upwards!
after she reached out from 1st phone convo would u have reached back out a week later? is my question. seems it would never have happened unless she reached out a week later..
Men wants women who don't know their worth, who is submissive and not intellectual, especially those men in player mode. My husband and I are together for 22 years and have a beautiful 16 year old daughter and we are happy. We live a simple life. But just listening to what you are teaching women raises some concerns. My daughter could be listening to these videos one day and believe every word you are saying and yet I have thought her to be a free spirit and to never chase a man. Make him work, make him sweat, demand his respect and show you his actions matches his words. I have balanced my masculine, so called "empowered energy" as described by you and feminine energies very well and some men don't like it, because some men still have not grown up. I will not chase you Jonathan despite your preferences. I hope whatever this is works out for you "she took just a little more action than me". Men think that we are stalkers and weak, so please talk to more women for your research and before you post first think about it, maybe your audience should be men, because your gf is probably listening to you, because she's much more younger than you and must still learn so much about herself and life...I am not sure if you both laid the cards or whether you did...I am not convinced 🤔
Johnathan I met a great guy that is in an unhappy marriage so he's unavailable. I keep encouraging him to work on his relationship with his wife. It's sad but most people stay together because of children and finances. I did that for years.... now I'm finally free of and happily single.
This was great and interesting, Jonathan. As I've gotten older, I've felt the need to be more assertive and a leader. It truly does make you feel empowered. It makes me feel useless sitting around in my "feminine energy." I'm 40 btw. I say what I'm looking for and what I need, and I ask them the same thing. To communicate early on to see where we're both at.
LOL, I thought you were going to say Susan Dey, not Shirley Jones. I love the T-Shirt ! May I ask where you got it? Speaking of that certain popular website, I think I'm finally ready to start dating again, so I was looking at profiles last night. The laundry list of things the men want made me feel like I'm not up to par or good enough for them. It's hard to meet someone in a certain age group organically. Maybe I'll volunteer at a nursing home, at least the men there don't want to go sky diving and expect you to join them at the gym 5 days a week. I'm feeling like most men prefer a woman with more so called traditional "masculine energy" than they did in the past. I'm more worried about what they'll think of me, and how I stack up, then what I think of them. How times have changed. I need to read some of those books !
Amazon... and thank you 😊
How flattering feeling for a guy to say she is the one who pursue me all this matter gets more and more twisted ....there are so many couples divorcing because there is a " competition" of power, money, arrogance, selfishness etc.... and the children , daughters and sons are learning this behavior from their parents !
Very unfortunate for all of us
Sad and true...
Jonathan very interesting, however I don't think there's anything wrong in being a feminine woman other than many times it really intimidates men. I work in the corporate world and I have been single for over a decade I am very well put together blonde striking woman who is very feminine and men are very intimidated by that. The old adage the pretty girl stays home at night because men are too afraid to ask her out so flipside to be aggressive and be the aggressive woman to make the contact is not always the answer either because a lot of men fear that as well. Personally I think it's all timing and I will never get on a dating site because when I do again men are too afraid if you're too striking they either think you are a gold digger and you want something which I'm not everything I have I've worked hard for and paid for by myself and I'm not looking for a free ride but again there is nothing wrong with being who you are and being a feminine woman and it's all timing I think when it's right place right time good things will happen to good people. I wish everyone the best of luck in dating it's not easy and for those of us who aren't really aggressive at making the first move I don't believe you're going to be cobweb Cooties forever. Most interesting though the men that I do work with that are maybe 40 45 they are more likely to approach me than the men past 45 I don't know if it's complaintency or if it's fear I say women keep being feminine and Men stopping so afraid.
Red alert: Respectfully, I listened to this video, but I can't agree with the perspective on this topic. If you want a masculine man, don't chase. Age should not matter. Anyone who is interested in you will show it, and vice versa. If a man is too tired to chase (what a terrible word, but you get the point more clearly) and he waits for you to make the moves and follow up, he is lazy, will always be, and will always go for the women who make it easy for him to get what he wants. Women have been burnt too, and we have babies and ruin our bodies on top of it, and get cheated on and traded for a younger model. For millenia. We women get tired too, especially single mothers, we have to take care of our children, and have competitive careers and go to the gym and do laundry, cook, make sure the kids do homework, then bathe, look pretty, seductive, inniciate sex, and try to get enough sleep, all this in 24 hours. We are tired too!! Sure would be nice to have men who show some appreciation and respect!!!! Why men love bitches = I have that book and also the next book why men marry bitches. It says nothing about chasing or facilitating everything for men, on the contrary. It says: don't make it too easy, don't do too much, but be assertive and have boundaries and standards, and be honest and speak your mind. Show interest and then back off. Don't do too much, don't invest too much. Show interest and attract and let him show you that he wants you, it's in the books. ;)
I never said women initiate everything and all I merely suggested is making a little effort like dropping the hanky. Not sure how you derived what you wrote from the video.
Jonathan, I think I need to make that Discovery call 😂 I'm always learning so much. I have to admit since I have been on Match I don't reach out as much as I should. Maybe it's fear of rejection. Just being honest. I believe I put it all in the guy's hands to make the first move. This will definitely change this week. Thank you as always. I'm truly enjoying your new relationship journey and wishing the two of you all the best. It's so encouraging and hopeful!!
I'm just happy for this guy, I think took him to be while to be in this place that he shared before. But, I am a little bit concerned about the transparency here, first of all, the audience is in here over 40 ladies I am guessing, divorced, have kids, etc. He didn't share any background with the girl, did he pick a girlfriend someone in her 40s? or divorced? the same page with him or like most men find and go out with someone in the early 30s no kids young? because if that is the case young women in their 30s can get men easily late 40s divorced. We all know that men always choosing it young women, that's the conflict comes from. I generally think that in society women have to date older men to get to be in a relationship, if you are a woman in your 40s society makes you feel you have to chase a man in his 50 plus, because in your age man even he divorced and has kids chasing it the 25 to max 35 age around women. women cant escape from this reality most men are like that, That's why so many dating coaches out there selling to women's dreams. In her 30s girl doesn't want to pursue her own age man, because those men are chasing girls 20s, that why girl she never even married before the start chasing a guy divorced over 40 and guess what if you guy has a choice single 30 and divorced 40 women guess what he chooses it over the same, no matter which men. I wasn't going to write anything I love this guy most time he speaks the truth but most time they have to give hope and escape reality to be able to make money. If you speak the truth no one watches or listens to it. I also noticed to men only date women around the same age if she is more wealthy than them. Because those guys are money-oriented not love. Generally, society makes women to lower standards, even girls 40s who look stunning going to the gym and having a good job it's not enough she can't compete with the younger women. that's the problem the real issue is this, women are forced to lower their standards. Men are superior and they choose it and play this game for a long time. No offense I like this guy, he is a decent man. and totally agree with feminine energy. Men are attracted to confident women.
I really appreciate the sound common sense here. This is resonating so accurately. You are so balanced and grounded in people’s actual experience and not gimmicks or fads. “Men are winging it.” Yes!!!!!!
Wonderful information and advice as always!! You are so spot on with everything!!
Yep! Totally agree with you. I’m in LDR and I fought it. But the good thing is we’ve learned about each other in ways that we probably wouldn’t have if we lived near each other. I have a strong personality but he gets me. He’s the best person I know. Leaning back in your femininity often forgets an important thing and that’s having boundaries. Dating is complicated especially in today’s world. It becomes more complicated when you’re older and throw the LDR into the mix and it’s damn near impossible BUT if you truly feel connection it’s amazingly the best! Thanks!
I love how well you explain all of this. I find myself feeling more and more cynical, and a bit angry. But upon reflection the more I listen to your stuff I'm understanding more about myself. And as many stories as I hear it feels almost impossible, but I'm just working on getting myself in a better place. So I can attract what I really want. I've been radically honest with guys I've met, because if he chooses to be with me, I want to be honest, not out of desperation but I want a good strong relationship.
Johnathan..I am 50..I have 6 children. 4 over 18 and 2 younger at 11 and 6...I find men do not want to be with a woman who has children who are still young. As they are still a responsibility. Plus expect us women to want them to take a father roll(which we dont). How do us women find a man in this situation?
This is a tough one... a man will accept most anything when he is in love. 💓
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I'm not what you’ve been through... and you will not take it out on me.
Long distance gets really hard once the communication gets less and less. Then your barely able to actually able to see them maybe once a month. It's brutal when you stop feeling you even fit in or included at all in their life where they are. 😢
Jonathon, thank you SO much for this video!!! I would love a session with you. I was in a LDR for 10 months and after his hot pursuit I finally opened my heart, but he never came to visit me, I went twice (children, money, etc.) So I believe I put effort, he did so much effort called almost every day (with video) and took such great care of me, but something happened in the communication and things went wrong. He suddenly said 'we aren't a couple' after behaving like one for 10 months...So yes, I'm still in shock and don't know how to process it. There's still so much to learn about helping a man open up emotionally and share what's really going on. All the best to you and thanks!
GREAT, click here to schedule Www.jonathonaslay.com/coaching
I left a marriage that became abusive later in life, so I'm a slight emotional wreck. But I'm also secure in myself. I've been on my own for several years now, I know how to fix a dishwasher thanks to UA-cam, I bought a car for the first time ever, I quit a fairly lucrative career and moved across the country to someplace beautiful that heals my soul. And now I have to literally chase men off because I wouldn't want to damaged man, so I'm not expecting a sane man to still want me. I'm good with that.
Super way of expressing the theme of feminine energy here..super duper duper great. Here is where the honey catches it. You're great Big J.i love the partridge family..c'mon world there's a song were singing c'mon get happy....a whole lotta lovin' is what we"lol be bringing.....
I’ve always said I wish I could go back to 1952 and date 😄 lol
I needed this. I do not believe in getting into femininity in this DNA of age .. men are not too masculine these days. We need to adapt new ways .. yes we all need to step up at some point.. give courage to someone we love.. assurance is powerful.. express if you love someone the right person wil stay.. it’s not being about getting clingy or needy it’s about being authentic..
Hi John
First time viewer, and man, this was something I needed to watch!
I'm a 33 year old guy from the Mid-West, and yeah...dating sucks at my age too. But I consider myself a bit of an old soul. I Listen to older music, hung around older people growing up,etc. And as I've gotten older, I love it when a woman can come up to me and take a chance and tell me shes interested. To me that shows guts ,courage, and its sexy as hell! I've been so use to doing it myseld and getting varying results. It gets exsausting have to be the one to make the first move everytime. So when she does, it takes out the guess work.
I think this one of the reasons I tend to date woman who are older and don't play mind games. Who don't lean heavily on gender roles. It's a partnership, based on love ,respect, and each pulling their weight to making it work and last.
I'm of the notion that in life , dont wait on opportunities to happen, go after it and create them! Thanks for this great vid john.
Believe me when I say this... it doesn't have to be an older woman. It just has to be the right one, no matter the age.
@@JonathonAslay Thanks Jon!
Hey Jonathan…. The thing is U
dont know EVERYTHING. Also not all men are created equal. And not all men want the same thing. You are generalizing everyone. Thats not realistic
Another good video and 2 more book recommendations I will look into: "Non Violent Communication" and "I Hear You." Thanks so much for this.
It feels totally wrong when I have to the work. And I don’t want to date someone who is si reserved. Kills all romantic and chemistry…- just saying that never can be repaired…
Cool t shirt Jonathon. I had a crush on David Cassidy, lol loved their music.
I loved this one. I found it very informative and helpful to me in communicating with my long distance guy. I met him over 20 years ago and just a few months ago had the nerve to call him and tell him why I had to leave so suddenly and ghosted him all those years ago. We have now opened communication and have so many things in common. There was a reason I met him 20 years ago and now we are getting to know each other. We have so many things in common and that is why God aligned us on that day of fate in Boston so many years ago.
I never wanted babies. What I want at 25 is what I want at 45, and I only find men who wants sex and no companionship. Same then, same now. I don’t have low self esteem like all the videos tell me I do, just disappointment.
Don't have sex with them and then they have to learn to be your friend. If you tell a guy you don't want kids they may assume you just want sex. A baby is awesome...a great learning experience and get to relive childhood with them.
@@Shasha8674 That’s the worse reason I’ve ever heard to bring a child into this world Yikes!!!
@@judyperri9496 It is the best reason. Wake up!
All men?
@@Shasha8674 I do t need to be awakened by someone as ignorant as you A child should never be seen as a learning experience or a reason to relive your childhood Those are selfish reasons
I love your programming and truly hope that more men are watching as well. We all have something to learn about the most mystifying and wonderful aspect of Being Human. It's so hard to be close to people these days and we all need more knowledge and understanding. It's most important that we heal our wounds before we can truly open ourselves again. After many years, I know I am healed and ready. And can only allow the same kind of people into my life.
I just read your community post about people asking you to tone it down? What? You shout it from the rooftops if you like!!!! Love is bliss and should be expressed blissfully! Go u and congrats on finding love💜🙏🌼👍😊🥰
Early transparency is spot on. It aides tremendously in weeding out the BS, and getting down to brass tacks. Not being transparent, period, whether it's early on in the relationship, or after marriage, is just setting yourself up for an inevitable failure. So why would you be anything but honest and forthright? DON'T fool yourselves into thinking that once the other person discovers your deception that they will just accept it, and settle for it. At the current age of 58, and in the early months of my own long-distance relationship with an amazing man, I've been my "always true self", transparent, honest, no victim-playing, regardless of previous narcissistic abuse by former spouses. I've learned invaluable lessons, life changing and eye-opening, from purely evil humans. Knowing what to look for in a new relationship, especially the red flags, and never discounting them, is HUGE.
You're brilliant Jonathan
I am a senior woman who who at my age just engaging in the recent era.
Involvement of the middle life ages agree with you that because of our environment now and requirements of life need women to be as you said a strong empowered partner. There is no way in today's society can the muddle aged woman in the age groups you defined can be anything less but be that strong partner to make a life with today's also highly empowered man. Thank you for sharing and your teachings.
Men and women shouldn’t be mad at the opposite sex for choosing wrong .
What I got from this is that different men want different things.
The only thing I’m looking for in a relationship is a way OUT….Relationships are way too much for me and after zipping through 2 of them ( widowed twice) at a very young age ….I decided I don’t want to invest into anyone except ME, MYSELF and I ….not willing to take on someone else’s baggage , kids, finances , etc…I’m the captain of my own ship ….and if I need to work out my hormones, there’s plenty of guys out there that can fulfill a “one n done”….do the deed then go RUN
Thank you for sharing your journey in your relationship 🙏🤗
So happy for you Jonathon, hopefully you found your person. ❤️
I do like when you share relationship advice that’s more realistic. I know I’m a catch, going on long distance relationship, and there is a big monkey wrench, I let him know my boundaries, and that his proposal is way too soon. Now he’s rethinking moving here. I have had good relationships and bad. But I will not be pushed too soon. I’m willing to lose this if he wants to push too hard. Because I don’t feel good at this change in plans. We spent 2 hours in person.
Well put sir! Honestly I’m just so tired of feminine and masculine energies. It makes me cringe. How about be responsible, respectful, considerate and loving adults. As a woman it gets old hearing because I want an equal partner is being in my masculine. Being docile and meek while submissive to a jerk isn’t my thing. That’s controlling patriarchal bs that will leave you broken hearted. I want to be able to leave and support myself if I have to. I also refuse to be a counselor to an emotionally constipated person as well. It’s bad for my health and if I can work on my issues he can too. If I have to beg him to open up then I won’t open up because he needs to mature. No thanks.
I am letting him lead our interactions because he says he enjoys my company,is attracted to me, but is not ready for a relationship. Is this the right thing to do? I don't really have much dating experience. I am 57 and went pretty much from my parents house to being married. I have been divorced for 17 years and have only been in two relationships since then. Now I am interested in a man that I have known for 7 years and I have strong feelings for him. He is the one I spoke of above. Am I doing the right thing?
This is great teaching. Thank you.
Glad it was helpful!
i agree with you in many ways and for my own sake, i am financially independent .
i’m still old fashioned that i think it will be nice if a man can provide. i might lose respect if a man is a free loader
tho i dont mind to sharing my wealth.
Perspective matters most