Thanks tabs again for sharing great advice. As tab says you need to rewire and in this case it is the same as replacing. Replace the guilt thoughts with acceptance. That’s what I did and it has really helped. Instead of saying oh I’m guilty I should not have ate that /that was too much blah blah blah. I say I accept what I ate because my body needed it, my mind needed it and I wanted it. end of story Take control of your thoughts before they take control of you. Take every thought captive and make it obedient to recovery. Don’t keep letting those negative thoughts replay in your mind. Replace them with positives - the TRUTH!!
Thankyou Tabitha! This was my question a few months ago & you will be happy to hear I am doing much better. I wouldn't classify myself as fully recovered yet but I'm at least a stone heavier, I no longer count calories or engage in any purge behaviours & the only exercise I now do is walking my daughter to & from nursery (because I can't drive, I never learned). I have been through the extreme hunger phase which seems to have more or less settled down now & I eat a variety of all foods naturally. I try to not regulate myself to eat at any specific time be it a "normal meal time" or not & just eat as & when I'm hungry in any quantity. I really want to model unrestricted eating for my daughter & make sure we have a good variety of all foods available for her to choose from. I finally eat in front of her now too, she never used to see me eat before. I also told my husband eventually, who was totally disinterested & assumed it was a teenage girl problem & he basically thinks I am just vain. Sigh. Never mind, I didn't think he would understand or even try, he just isn't that kind of person. Thankyou again for all your advice, it is thanks to your videos I have come as far as I have & continue to progress in recovery!
I don't know if anyone is going to even see this, but today I ate a cheese pizza (4 formaggi / 4 cheeses pizza) after a looong long time. And I can say that I am proud that I did that. I love 4 formaggi pizza and I missed it a lot! And after that I ate 4 cookies! There was guilt afterwards, but I managed through it with some help. I am very grateful for the people that stand by my side, and also for your straight-forwardness. It all helps me a lot!
Malin Stiernborg you ate that bowl because your body required it, if it didn’t you would not have been able to but you could so you ate what your body needs so move on Don’t even think about it, if you have too, sleep on it just don’t let guilt but in your thoughts or you won’t be able to be never be guilty like I have begun to be. I ate 4 chocolate Easter eggs on Easter Sunday and I had no guilt what so ever so recovery is possible Stay strong:-)
@@HOTDNews Aw, thank you! I do consider myself being in steady recovery for 10 months now (somehow my comment got cut off, and only left the sad part, lol), so I was really confused by feeling guilty all of a sudden. I was able to shake it off though, and then voíla - the video appeared. :)
This is very interesting. I have had an eating disorder for many years, & feel I don't deserve food. Now, my problem is that, as a child, my grandad would always give me food after ’doing what he wanted to do’ with me. For 13yrs. So now, I feel undeserving of eating unless I've been pushing myself REALLY hard to help people, be a servant to people & suffer emotional hurt by doing so. I'm trying to recover but it drives me crazy!!!!! 🤗
Lily Rosie Malin Stiernborg you ate that bowl because your body required it, if it didn’t you would not have been able to but you could so you ate what your body needs so move on Don’t even think about it, if you have too, sleep on it just don’t let guilt but in your thoughts or you won’t be able to be never be guilty like I have begun to be. I ate 4 chocolate Easter eggs on Easter Sunday and I had no guilt what so ever so recovery is possible Stay strong:-)
I very much identified with this person's story with the exception that my family, husband and friends are aware because in order to keep me accountable I decided to share with them what I have been experiencing as part of my recovery. I have small victories and what I have found is I do have to tell myself still that its ok that I ate, that it is normal and I can not be mad at myself. I allow myself to excercise but if I am feeling like I want to excercise because I ate more then I will not let myself excercise for that reason, I either have to change my brain to think so your only going to excercise if it is for general enjoyment and well being. So if I am thinking excercise to burn those calories, I instead do a relaxing yoga and meditation to bring myself out of that instead. It is all part of not letting myself feel guilt and shame for doing what my body wants, I ate toast with pb & j last night because I wanted to and it felt really good, my ed brain tried really hard to fight me on whether it was ok but I didn't let it win, small victory but a victory none the less.
I was stuck in quasi recovery for 7 years, which I realised a month ago, and the guilt is something that I haven’t yet conquered. After every meal, it’s there, and before eating, I’m scared of binging. And my mind is telling me how I’ve eaten so so much and that my “binging” will get out of control. I guess I gotta focus more on facing my fears and ending the quasi recovery cycle.
By eating so much at night am I training my brain to expect that? Am I training my brain to expect tons of calories at night? I’m concerned I’m training my brain in a bad habit in this regard now
I feel really unwell and wish for ur help. Im 25 years old (same age you were when you started to recover) and have been ill since I was 16 years old. I have a lot of questions so maybe I should fill in more of this forms but i try to write them all in the same. i understand if you dont answer but ill hope you can and will. Have wrote Before but never get any answer. Okey to the questions, and sorry for my English and spelling, its not my first languidge. * For many years now I have lost interest in Everything. Even things I use to like i dont anymore. The things i do now is just for making time go by but I dont enjoy anything. For ex if im Reading a book im constantly looking at the Clock to see if the times has gone by, I feel really sad thinking of this cause i wanna enjoy Life again like i use to do. Like when i was Little I Always looked forward to weekends but now im almost dread them and i often stay late at work just so i get so Little free-time as possible. I have also feelt so sad and that nothing is fun that I almost succeded with a suicde. I want to like to do thing again. Im scared of recover cause all my rituals makes my Days go by (ex walk every day, eat REEEEEALY slowly, and so on). Im scraed of not being busy cause i dont like to do anything when im free. For ex i studied fulltime at University and worked full time to make myself busy. So a big obstecle for me to recover is that im scared that i still dont find anything fun anymore. I have tried many antidepressent but none worked. Also i was at a healthy weight for a period and that was the worst time of my Life. I cried all day and still didnt Think anything was fun. I have tried to recover but when i get healthier i get really anxious, sad, and scared and then fall back. Like i was doing really well for some months a few weeks ago. eating well and gaining but still in the claws of OCD and still hated my body so much. Since a few Days im returning more to restricting wich has make my feelings a bit smaller, bit more foggy in my head wich take the edge of the horrible feelings. I hate to live bur i dont want to hate to live. I want to have a Life. I want to find things fun again. Is this linked to ed? Can you please please make a video about this and talk about if you have had the same experience? Did you stop enjoying things? Have you find the joy again now? How? How long did it take? I have felt like this both in a heigher weight and well below. Please help me! * Even when i eat well and a lot i still only Think About when is time to eat next. The only thing i Think is "fun" is to eat. I do it slowly so it last longer cause i dont now what to do after i have eaten cause i dont like to do anything else. Im scared of being full cause i want to want to eat cause its the only thing i like doing. I know it sounds weird. I Think that if i recover and food takes up a smaller part, then what would i do? If the only thing i like a bit is eating and that become less interesting to, then i have nothing.. A part of me want to restrict again is that i then enjoy food more. * Another thing I feel bad about is OCD. I have become more and more rituals eventhough gaining and i dont know how to break this. I eat really slowly (as i said abowe) and Always watching time so that i dont eat to fast and then have to much space in between meals. Its really stressfull really and i do eat slower at the beginning to "save it" and then it becomes Close to the next meal and then i can speed up the eating a bit wich feels good. But sometimes i have to eat fast then cause my mind tells me that my teath has to rest in between and that its bad to eat late. Also i wanna eat late and get anxious if my dinner become ready a bit earlier cause then the eavning will feel longer. I know i sound like a freak and dont know how to explain but ill hope you understand. Also get extreamly anxious when i break my OCD so i dont dare to do it. I end up Crying, hurting myself or Think of killing myself.. How do you break OCD? For ex i Always play on my phione while eating and the Clock is in the corner and my eays goes straight to it all the time, just cant stop. If i force myself i can for about 10 minutes but then i look and get angry at myself. Also get anxioyus and angry if i see the the time is early and see that i will finnish sooner and dont know what to do after. How to break this? and how to break all the other rituals? A strong part of me says that its very good for ex to walk and i like it to and it makes time go by. Dont know what to do otherwise cause i dont like anything else. PLEASE PLEASE HELP!!!!! Also my times and slowly eating makes no time for anything, if i for ex Think of meeting someone its only in the afternoon where i have eating breakfast really late, take a walk, eat a late lunch sloowly that i can. I dont wanna plan anything sooner cause then im already "busy" eating and i like it and wouldnt wanna hurry it cause i wanna enjoy it. Have you felt the same? How is it now? I know you say, about OCD; that its just to breakt it but i dont know how. and my mind Always goes that its good (ex walk) for Everything and depression and overall Health and mind. and i do feel better Walking compare to completly inactive. GAAH i hate this.
Actually we already can choose the genes of our babies. They take out a number of eggcells, check which ones have the genes, and then fertilize the desired cells. The question in the medical community is mostly about ethics now, not about possibilities.
Thanks tabs again for sharing great advice. As tab says you need to rewire and in this case it is the same as replacing. Replace the guilt thoughts with acceptance. That’s what I did and it has really helped. Instead of saying oh I’m guilty I should not have ate that /that was too much blah blah blah. I say I accept what I ate because my body needed it, my mind needed it and I wanted it. end of story
Take control of your thoughts before they take control of you. Take every thought captive and make it obedient to recovery. Don’t keep letting those negative thoughts replay in your mind. Replace them with positives - the TRUTH!!
Thankyou Tabitha! This was my question a few months ago & you will be happy to hear I am doing much better. I wouldn't classify myself as fully recovered yet but I'm at least a stone heavier, I no longer count calories or engage in any purge behaviours & the only exercise I now do is walking my daughter to & from nursery (because I can't drive, I never learned).
I have been through the extreme hunger phase which seems to have more or less settled down now & I eat a variety of all foods naturally. I try to not regulate myself to eat at any specific time be it a "normal meal time" or not & just eat as & when I'm hungry in any quantity.
I really want to model unrestricted eating for my daughter & make sure we have a good variety of all foods available for her to choose from. I finally eat in front of her now too, she never used to see me eat before.
I also told my husband eventually, who was totally disinterested & assumed it was a teenage girl problem & he basically thinks I am just vain. Sigh. Never mind, I didn't think he would understand or even try, he just isn't that kind of person.
Thankyou again for all your advice, it is thanks to your videos I have come as far as I have & continue to progress in recovery!
This was exactly what I needed to hear whilst taking a rest from exercise and having just eaten a sh*t ton. God help me
I don't know if anyone is going to even see this, but today I ate a cheese pizza (4 formaggi / 4 cheeses pizza) after a looong long time. And I can say that I am proud that I did that. I love 4 formaggi pizza and I missed it a lot! And after that I ate 4 cookies! There was guilt afterwards, but I managed through it with some help. I am very grateful for the people that stand by my side, and also for your straight-forwardness. It all helps me a lot!
I hope you ate a pizza today Diana
I was JUST sitting here feeling guilty about the gigantic bowl of crisps I had moments ago.
Malin Stiernborg you ate that bowl because your body required it, if it didn’t you would not have been able to but you could so you ate what your body needs so move on
Don’t even think about it, if you have too, sleep on it just don’t let guilt but in your thoughts or you won’t be able to be never be guilty like I have begun to be. I ate 4 chocolate Easter eggs on Easter Sunday and I had no guilt what so ever so recovery is possible
Stay strong:-)
@@HOTDNews Aw, thank you! I do consider myself being in steady recovery for 10 months now (somehow my comment got cut off, and only left the sad part, lol), so I was really confused by feeling guilty all of a sudden. I was able to shake it off though, and then voíla - the video appeared. :)
Malin Stiernborg :-)
Sorry but is anyone else SHOOK that Game of Thrones is replying and has an ED?!!!
Game Of Thrones I mean!!
"I'm mentally exhausted thinking about a child". Lol
im sitting here feeling guilty over a breakfast i havent even eaten yet. thank u so much for this i needed to hear it
Incredibly helpful, thank you Tabitha 👏
This is very interesting. I have had an eating disorder for many years, & feel I don't deserve food. Now, my problem is that, as a child, my grandad would always give me food after ’doing what he wanted to do’ with me. For 13yrs. So now, I feel undeserving of eating unless I've been pushing myself REALLY hard to help people, be a servant to people & suffer emotional hurt by doing so. I'm trying to recover but it drives me crazy!!!!! 🤗
Lily Rosie Malin Stiernborg you ate that bowl because your body required it, if it didn’t you would not have been able to but you could so you ate what your body needs so move on
Don’t even think about it, if you have too, sleep on it just don’t let guilt but in your thoughts or you won’t be able to be never be guilty like I have begun to be. I ate 4 chocolate Easter eggs on Easter Sunday and I had no guilt what so ever so recovery is possible
Stay strong:-)
I very much identified with this person's story with the exception that my family, husband and friends are aware because in order to keep me accountable I decided to share with them what I have been experiencing as part of my recovery.
I have small victories and what I have found is I do have to tell myself still that its ok that I ate, that it is normal and I can not be mad at myself. I allow myself to excercise but if I am feeling like I want to excercise because I ate more then I will not let myself excercise for that reason, I either have to change my brain to think so your only going to excercise if it is for general enjoyment and well being. So if I am thinking excercise to burn those calories, I instead do a relaxing yoga and meditation to bring myself out of that instead.
It is all part of not letting myself feel guilt and shame for doing what my body wants, I ate toast with pb & j last night because I wanted to and it felt really good, my ed brain tried really hard to fight me on whether it was ok but I didn't let it win, small victory but a victory none the less.
I was stuck in quasi recovery for 7 years, which I realised a month ago, and the guilt is something that I haven’t yet conquered. After every meal, it’s there, and before eating, I’m scared of binging. And my mind is telling me how I’ve eaten so so much and that my “binging” will get out of control.
I guess I gotta focus more on facing my fears and ending the quasi recovery cycle.
My brain tells me that if I don’t feel guilty, I’m being vain...
Wow! Thank you Tabitha 💖😘
By eating so much at night am I training my brain to expect that? Am I training my brain to expect tons of calories at night? I’m concerned I’m training my brain in a bad habit in this regard now
I feel really unwell and wish for ur help. Im 25 years old (same age you were when you started to recover) and have been ill since I was 16 years old. I have a lot of questions so maybe I should fill in more of this forms but i try to write them all in the same. i understand if you dont answer but ill hope you can and will. Have wrote Before but never get any answer. Okey to the questions, and sorry for my English and spelling, its not my first languidge. * For many years now I have lost interest in Everything. Even things I use to like i dont anymore. The things i do now is just for making time go by but I dont enjoy anything. For ex if im Reading a book im constantly looking at the Clock to see if the times has gone by, I feel really sad thinking of this cause i wanna enjoy Life again like i use to do. Like when i was Little I Always looked forward to weekends but now im almost dread them and i often stay late at work just so i get so Little free-time as possible. I have also feelt so sad and that nothing is fun that I almost succeded with a suicde. I want to like to do thing again. Im scared of recover cause all my rituals makes my Days go by (ex walk every day, eat REEEEEALY slowly, and so on). Im scraed of not being busy cause i dont like to do anything when im free. For ex i studied fulltime at University and worked full time to make myself busy. So a big obstecle for me to recover is that im scared that i still dont find anything fun anymore. I have tried many antidepressent but none worked. Also i was at a healthy weight for a period and that was the worst time of my Life. I cried all day and still didnt Think anything was fun. I have tried to recover but when i get healthier i get really anxious, sad, and scared and then fall back. Like i was doing really well for some months a few weeks ago. eating well and gaining but still in the claws of OCD and still hated my body so much. Since a few Days im returning more to restricting wich has make my feelings a bit smaller, bit more foggy in my head wich take the edge of the horrible feelings. I hate to live bur i dont want to hate to live. I want to have a Life. I want to find things fun again. Is this linked to ed? Can you please please make a video about this and talk about if you have had the same experience? Did you stop enjoying things? Have you find the joy again now? How? How long did it take? I have felt like this both in a heigher weight and well below. Please help me!
* Even when i eat well and a lot i still only Think About when is time to eat next. The only thing i Think is "fun" is to eat. I do it slowly so it last longer cause i dont now what to do after i have eaten cause i dont like to do anything else. Im scared of being full cause i want to want to eat cause its the only thing i like doing. I know it sounds weird. I Think that if i recover and food takes up a smaller part, then what would i do? If the only thing i like a bit is eating and that become less interesting to, then i have nothing.. A part of me want to restrict again is that i then enjoy food more.
* Another thing I feel bad about is OCD. I have become more and more rituals eventhough gaining and i dont know how to break this. I eat really slowly (as i said abowe) and Always watching time so that i dont eat to fast and then have to much space in between meals. Its really stressfull really and i do eat slower at the beginning to "save it" and then it becomes Close to the next meal and then i can speed up the eating a bit wich feels good. But sometimes i have to eat fast then cause my mind tells me that my teath has to rest in between and that its bad to eat late. Also i wanna eat late and get anxious if my dinner become ready a bit earlier cause then the eavning will feel longer. I know i sound like a freak and dont know how to explain but ill hope you understand. Also get extreamly anxious when i break my OCD so i dont dare to do it. I end up Crying, hurting myself or Think of killing myself.. How do you break OCD? For ex i Always play on my phione while eating and the Clock is in the corner and my eays goes straight to it all the time, just cant stop. If i force myself i can for about 10 minutes but then i look and get angry at myself. Also get anxioyus and angry if i see the the time is early and see that i will finnish sooner and dont know what to do after. How to break this? and how to break all the other rituals? A strong part of me says that its very good for ex to walk and i like it to and it makes time go by. Dont know what to do otherwise cause i dont like anything else. PLEASE PLEASE HELP!!!!! Also my times and slowly eating makes no time for anything, if i for ex Think of meeting someone its only in the afternoon where i have eating breakfast really late, take a walk, eat a late lunch sloowly that i can. I dont wanna plan anything sooner cause then im already "busy" eating and i like it and wouldnt wanna hurry it cause i wanna enjoy it. Have you felt the same? How is it now?
I know you say, about OCD; that its just to breakt it but i dont know how. and my mind Always goes that its good (ex walk) for Everything and depression and overall Health and mind. and i do feel better Walking compare to completly inactive. GAAH i hate this.
Actually we already can choose the genes of our babies. They take out a number of eggcells, check which ones have the genes, and then fertilize the desired cells. The question in the medical community is mostly about ethics now, not about possibilities.