This video was so powerful to me. I especially appreciated saying that the idea being 100% healed is an illusion. Very freeing to be able to appreciate where I am and the idea that I'm not where I want to be is perfectly okay. Thank you.
I love listening to Elizabeth, she is so authentic and I identify with her 'perspective' or interaction in the world ... I hope to see her more often on the channel, a channel that is already great, so Thank you for these sessions Forrest ...
Funny title..: "How to create a secure relationship with Elisabeth Ferrreira".. You guys are so sweet and thank you so much for all the content you share on your channel Forrest. To me and also my partner, as self-healers, your shared content makes really all the difference. Thank you!!
This is really helpful. I am totally that person that's waiting to be "healed" until I get into a relationship but I think it's about finding a safe and good enough partner.
Such a wonderful conversation between two people that are committed to loving each other. So beautiful and very helpful. May your journey ahead. Be blessed with happiness and continued love.❤
Non-violent (compassionate) communication provides a framework for expressing feelings and the underlying needs in a non-blaming way, and framing a positive and clear request (for a new strategy to get needs met). The answer can be no, but the request can be a starting point for an empathic discussion about which strategies would work for both parties to get their needs met. It's a simple framework to learn, but can be challenging to get right, but I've seen it work really really well, not only in personal relationships but in mediation.
Love these discussions. Thank you! I want to meet someone who is already ready for a vulnerable, healing, transparent, honest, loyal, dedicated, secure, and safe relationship. I'm not interested in convincing anyone to want or do this. Be ready to go right out of the starting blocks. Of course, it can be clumsy and imperfect. But at least be there emotionally, mentally, ethically, morally and with principles and values. I believe my person is out there.
This is really damn good. I'm a big fan of this more conversational, or "Fuzzy" as Forrest put it, type of videos. Its also just so helpful for us onlookers who might want to have a glimpse into good relationships, especially when you two discuss the work required in such a transparent way. I think, like probably many of us here in the comment, I've lacked exposure to healthy relationships growing up. Or, heck, just lacked exposure to any kind of interpersonnal relationship that wasnt seemingly problematic in one way or another. Its something i didnt realize that i needed until starting to watch your videos, be them with your dad Forrest or with Elizabeth. And its been teaching me a lot of things. So yeah, all in all, thank you very much.
Thank you Elizabeth and Forrest for this encouraging glimpse through the window into such a beautiful relationship, the sort that I believe each of us imagines deep inside and unfortunately are too often taught by the world not to hope for - I know what that's worth, having been granted the privilege all too briefly, and I hope your journeys walking each other home lasts both your lifetimes, and that you cherish every step. I absolutely adore Elizabeth for her beauty and grace as well as her thoughtfulness and kindness, (and she IS so smart). My mother is also an Elizabeth, with long, glossy, dark locks that I would sometimes brush to help soothe us both in silent communication when I was a boy ; thank you for that reminder, and for the comment about people pleasing as a form of "falling on your own sword", this is symbolism that has shown up in my personal archetypal narrative, given deeper dimensions of meaning by your words. My truest thanks and best wishes to you both, and a fervent hope that we will be graced with Elizabeth's presence and more episodes like this one soon, and more often.
The timing of this episode was so spot on! I had to rewatch it right after I finished it the first time! Thanks for doing this work, Forrest! It helps me every single time!
Thank you for having this discussion - I struggle with vulnerability, I'm not even sure I have a choice to not be because I'm very anxious and shy in most social interactions, even with people who have known me for a decade plus, I just always am anxious the second I know I will be interacting with someone. I'm not really sure what an inviting, holding-space energy is vs a penetrating energy, that confuses the crap out of me, I think the majority of people are reserved and probably a little judgemental towards differences, as opposed to accepting and being curious about what someone is about especially for people who clearly are behind in their inner work for a myriad of reasons, it would be nice to see people challenge themselves to break the ice more with each other. It's difficult to imagine a societal change though, especially with covid, this is the most apart from each other we have ever been as a species.
Yes, I agree. In therapy the sessions should be free flowing and Elizabeth manages it well, keeping with in the banks of that flowing river while thoroughly exploring and defining her subjects. I worry another format might not bring out such great insights from her. Afterall, she does 'like to throw at the walls and see what sticks'...(or maybe..Flow to the river banks and see what surfaces.) In the transcript's outline there enough of a format (repeating as necessary). Always great. Thank you PS. Forrest, I did miss your usual review of the podcast. It's always so reassuring to know that I got all the concepts correctly at the end.. (Even after, in the transcript, my 'repeating as necessary'.)
I liked the less structured format for this! It seems to have really allowed for discussion about the most important things! Maybe things you couldnt have remembered when making an outline beforehand
This format was very helpful. While the point by point format makes my brain happy and I enjoy it, the exchange between both of you seems more like actual modeling that sits deeper than intellectualizing. It's more viscerally understood and can be more readily applied relationally.
It is easy to "choose" to love when the loved one can open so many doors to one's passion & that which gives us so many nutrients to our life which is psychology.😊
Thank you very much guys for this video, coming from a very dysfunctional family, it is a pleasure to see a healthy couple how they interact, the same Forest is when I see the relationship you have with your father. All blessings for you, thank you again for all your work
I loved this authentic, real, and insightful discussion... you tapped into so many valuable and useful relationships aspects. The vocabulary you used is so very helpful for me to better identify my needs, wants, and somatic reactions. Thank you!
This was amazing! Love, every episode, although absolutely LOVE when Elizabeth and you get to sit down and chat about the good stuff (complex relational and psychological content).
Many wonderful take aways from this episode that I can apply to my already loving relationship. Thank you! I am confused though about what happened at 22:50 where Forrest seemed to be complimenting Elizabeth on her great segue, but she took it as (slightly) offensive somehow and then Forrest explained what he meant by it and that he blew it up…. can someone explain?
When I said "yeah I know" I realized a moment later that could be taken critically, particularly in the flippant way I said it. So we took a second to laugh about it and clarify that it wasn't meant critically.
Loved this episode-so fantastic!!! The only thing that I could think of to add an introduction about attachment styles and the Gottman process so people understand how valuable and important establishing a secure attachment style relationship is towards not only a deeper relationship but the increase of probability of going the distance in an era where too many relationships fail and how relationships are so important towards individual wellness which I know your dad has touched on in his material of wellness!! Would love if you guys did more in this area and even make it a Niche possibly-because its so needed!!! Thank you for great content!! So appreciate it!
This concept of being vulnerable intentionally seems so odd to me every time one of my vulnerabilities has been shared at some point in the future that individual will either share that vulnerability with others as a way of trying to shame me (or just gossiping) or they will use it against me to win an argument. One of the goals of my life has been remove all vulnerability or at least hide them as well as I can and I will never make myself intentionally vulnerable to anyone. Matter of fact, even posting this might make me vulnerable and I need to think about if I should remove it.
My own experience has been similar and the result has been that all the best parts of myself were exiled to a spectral life in Limbo and my experience of the world left hollow, my presence in it little more than an empty shell of armor. After a lifetime of a half-life I have taken up the search for those abandoned parts that were erased by shaming and other forms of abuse and invalidation; part of their rescue is being accomplished through tattooing their essence on the page to give them voice and new life by absorbing them through that outer skin and into my soul, where they always belonged. With them, I am stronger and wiser than I have been without them, and am learning that I no longer need to protect them by locking them away in a prison of cold iron and stone away from the light, where they only grower thinner, weaker, and more pale with time. I hope you will let your comment stand, as an example and as a witness to help encourage the legions of others who have lived the same story, silent behind walls of shame and distrust. The reasons for our reticence are real, but far too easily ignored and dismissed, like those parts of ourselves we hid away for their own safety, and only through their voices can a demand for change be heard. Please don't silence the voice of your truest self, leave the comment- it, and you, do not stand alone.
@@MelW669Thank you very much, I'm glad to be able (finally) to create some beauty from the decades of Darkness and silence, and offer it as a small gift of hope to others who have lost it- it's a challenging and ongoing process, and every word of encouragement is appreciated. Add another warm hug to your (also beautifully expressed) millions in celebration of your good fortune, and another for luck in hopes that it continues to hold you close in its good company. 😊
@@MelW669 I'm sorry your gentleman didn't stay, I've been ghosted myself and know how that can cause questioning of oneself and the merit of being open to connection. I've also too often been the ghost- there are always "reasons" but invariably the real reasons are hiding in the dark, nursing wounds, afraid of being hurt again, confused about why and how to risk showing up without hurting or being hurt by others. We're all so fragile, and our society is a china shop left open to bulls; few of us find a safe home before we're chipped or broken. I'm glad you had the opportunity to experience that feeling of warmth and safety and that you've been able to take a positive lesson and hope from it and keep it with you; that's a good indication that you've been able to heal some of your own wounds and it's a great example for others, thank you for sharing your story. I hope you keep trying and soon find that someone who can give you what you're looking for, and stay - I hope that for everybody who still has space inside for hope, however small. Meanwhile, hold on to that million and three. 🫂
A little off topic (I just started this video), but does Elizabeth still discuss PMDD? I just came from a video she did and then one you both did. I am desperate for more help. ❤ Thank you for your time!
I might be at fault but one of the big revaluations for me during the talk is that vulnerability can be a great solution to triggers (being in the fight or flight). If so would you elaborate in another episode? Thanks
UA-cam UI kind of buried the key topics section. But please ensure to give the key topics still. It is very useful for people like me with very limited time yet very high passion to learn and grow.
Relationships are defined by how you manage conflict not by having no conflict or differences. Great take away.
🎉🎉Exactly !!😮😮👏🏼👏🏼
Well...I guess I'm just gonna have to be the one who brings it up.. Can we just acknowledge how gorgeous our Elizabeth's hair is?! ❤❤❤
10 minutes in and already my favorite episode. Forrest you are a gentleman and it’s great to meet your lovely partner ❤️
You two are so beautiful together. I love how you model how to communicate well. You are both so young & yet so inspiring. Thank you.
" Healthy enough to know " whos problem is this " ?
Yes!!, agreed!! 🤔😃👏🏼👏🏼🎉🎉
The two of you are fun, informative, and fascinating to watch. I’ll be watching all the videos you make together! Good job!!
Yes queen is back 🤩 always love her perspective and wisdom
👑👑
This video was so powerful to me. I especially appreciated saying that the idea being 100% healed is an illusion. Very freeing to be able to appreciate where I am and the idea that I'm not where I want to be is perfectly okay. Thank you.
I love listening to Elizabeth, she is so authentic and I identify with her 'perspective' or interaction in the world ... I hope to see her more often on the channel, a channel that is already great, so Thank you for these sessions Forrest ...
I vaguely remember she's been a guest a couple of times already, usually talking about attachments and relationship
Funny title..: "How to create a secure relationship with Elisabeth Ferrreira".. You guys are so sweet and thank you so much for all the content you share on your channel Forrest. To me and also my partner, as self-healers, your shared content makes really all the difference. Thank you!!
This is really helpful. I am totally that person that's waiting to be "healed" until I get into a relationship but I think it's about finding a safe and good enough partner.
Thank you for putting yourselves out there to help the tribe. Very informative.
Such a wonderful conversation between two people that are committed to loving each other. So beautiful and very helpful. May your journey ahead. Be blessed with happiness and continued love.❤
Non-violent (compassionate) communication provides a framework for expressing feelings and the underlying needs in a non-blaming way, and framing a positive and clear request (for a new strategy to get needs met).
The answer can be no, but the request can be a starting point for an empathic discussion about which strategies would work for both parties to get their needs met.
It's a simple framework to learn, but can be challenging to get right, but I've seen it work really really well, not only in personal relationships but in mediation.
Loved this one. Appreciate the embodiment of the content through how you related to each other in the video❤
i really enjoy watching both of you! i would love a video diving into conflict in relationships and a way to communicate better
I really love it when you have Elizabeth as a guest. Great video!
PART TWO, PART THREE PLZ!!! LOVE the format.
Passion and anger; pleasing and kindness, are great distinctions to atune to and wow, that's tender territory. Thank you
" Being at tune to the parts you dont like", so you dont put the pressure on your partner " 😮😲 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Love these discussions. Thank you! I want to meet someone who is already ready for a vulnerable, healing, transparent, honest, loyal, dedicated, secure, and safe relationship. I'm not interested in convincing anyone to want or do this. Be ready to go right out of the starting blocks.
Of course, it can be clumsy and imperfect. But at least be there emotionally, mentally, ethically, morally and with principles and values. I believe my person is out there.
You both are so cute together and loved hearing you discuss this topic, it gave some peace about relationships.
Omg Forrest is blushing 🤭 you guys ❤ both gorgeous & beautiful humans. Thank you!!!
This is really damn good. I'm a big fan of this more conversational, or "Fuzzy" as Forrest put it, type of videos. Its also just so helpful for us onlookers who might want to have a glimpse into good relationships, especially when you two discuss the work required in such a transparent way.
I think, like probably many of us here in the comment, I've lacked exposure to healthy relationships growing up. Or, heck, just lacked exposure to any kind of interpersonnal relationship that wasnt seemingly problematic in one way or another. Its something i didnt realize that i needed until starting to watch your videos, be them with your dad Forrest or with Elizabeth. And its been teaching me a lot of things.
So yeah, all in all, thank you very much.
Definitely enjoyed this format , thankyou!
Thank you Elizabeth and Forrest for this encouraging glimpse through the window into such a beautiful relationship, the sort that I believe each of us imagines deep inside and unfortunately are too often taught by the world not to hope for - I know what that's worth, having been granted the privilege all too briefly, and I hope your journeys walking each other home lasts both your lifetimes, and that you cherish every step.
I absolutely adore Elizabeth for her beauty and grace as well as her thoughtfulness and kindness, (and she IS so smart). My mother is also an Elizabeth, with long, glossy, dark locks that I would sometimes brush to help soothe us both in silent communication when I was a boy ; thank you for that reminder, and for the comment about people pleasing as a form of "falling on your own sword", this is symbolism that has shown up in my personal archetypal narrative, given deeper dimensions of meaning by your words.
My truest thanks and best wishes to you both, and a fervent hope that we will be graced with Elizabeth's presence and more episodes like this one soon, and more often.
The timing of this episode was so spot on! I had to rewatch it right after I finished it the first time! Thanks for doing this work, Forrest! It helps me every single time!
Gabriela, Vicosa, mg?
Love love love this! Thank you! Lots of love ❤
I’ve been building on the relationship with myself and with nature. I hope to open up again in the future.
I love Elizabeth, please do more episodes on relationship topics!
Thank you for having this discussion - I struggle with vulnerability, I'm not even sure I have a choice to not be because I'm very anxious and shy in most social interactions, even with people who have known me for a decade plus, I just always am anxious the second I know I will be interacting with someone.
I'm not really sure what an inviting, holding-space energy is vs a penetrating energy, that confuses the crap out of me, I think the majority of people are reserved and probably a little judgemental towards differences, as opposed to accepting and being curious about what someone is about especially for people who clearly are behind in their inner work for a myriad of reasons, it would be nice to see people challenge themselves to break the ice more with each other. It's difficult to imagine a societal change though, especially with covid, this is the most apart from each other we have ever been as a species.
Really like this free flowing episode 🙂
Yes, I agree. In therapy the sessions should be free flowing and Elizabeth manages it well, keeping with in the banks of that flowing river while thoroughly exploring and defining her subjects. I worry another format might not bring out such great insights from her. Afterall, she does 'like to throw at the walls and see what sticks'...(or maybe..Flow to the river banks and see what surfaces.)
In the transcript's outline there enough of a format (repeating as necessary).
Always great. Thank you
PS. Forrest, I did miss your usual review of the podcast. It's always so reassuring to know that I got all the concepts correctly at the end.. (Even after, in the transcript, my 'repeating as necessary'.)
I liked the less structured format for this! It seems to have really allowed for discussion about the most important things! Maybe things you couldnt have remembered when making an outline beforehand
Awesome episode!!
This format was very helpful. While the point by point format makes my brain happy and I enjoy it, the exchange between both of you seems more like actual modeling that sits deeper than intellectualizing. It's more viscerally understood and can be more readily applied relationally.
Agreed! Felt very relatable and more helpful this way. :)
I love their relationship ❤
It is easy to "choose" to love when the loved one can open so many doors to one's passion & that which gives us so many nutrients to our life which is psychology.😊
This was beautiful! 🥰🥰
Wow this video could easy have a part 2, part 3. The way the conversation revs up had my attention like nothing else
Loved this podcast, and I came away with some great personal aha moments. And yes, would love more podcasts with you guys together. 😀
Thank you very much guys for this video, coming from a very dysfunctional family, it is a pleasure to see a healthy couple how they interact, the same Forest is when I see the relationship you have with your father. All blessings for you, thank you again for all your work
I loved this authentic, real, and insightful discussion... you tapped into so many valuable and useful relationships aspects. The vocabulary you used is so very helpful for me to better identify my needs, wants, and somatic reactions. Thank you!
This was amazing! Love, every episode, although absolutely LOVE when Elizabeth and you get to sit down and chat about the good stuff (complex relational and psychological content).
Been ANTICIPATING this podcast !! To learn & grow from your knowledge & experience. 😮😮😲😃👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Really loved this episode! And this podcast in general! Thankyou for all you do!
Window of presence sounds SO much better!
Great session. Many people needed to hear the specifics of good communication. Great job
This content is right on time.
Love and truly appreciate this episode! So helpful. Thank you :)
Many wonderful take aways from this episode that I can apply to my already loving relationship. Thank you! I am confused though about what happened at 22:50 where Forrest seemed to be complimenting Elizabeth on her great segue, but she took it as (slightly) offensive somehow and then Forrest explained what he meant by it and that he blew it up…. can someone explain?
When I said "yeah I know" I realized a moment later that could be taken critically, particularly in the flippant way I said it. So we took a second to laugh about it and clarify that it wasn't meant critically.
Def do more of this kind of stuff! I learned and related so much.
Loved this episode, more of this formate please!!
you don't have to be fully healed to deserve a loving relationship❤🩹
Relationships offer you the best opportunity to heal and grow.
happy to see you both...
Great episode. Thank you both😊
Shes just so stunning and so wonderful
This was immensely helpful to listen to. ❤
What an incredible couple you are. I hope you keep finding each other in deep acceptance & from there keep stretching & growing 🎉
Y'all are legends❤
¡Gracias por esta hermosa conversaciòn!
Loved this episode-so fantastic!!! The only thing that I could think of to add an introduction about attachment styles and the Gottman process so people understand how valuable and important establishing a secure attachment style relationship is towards not only a deeper relationship but the increase of probability of going the distance in an era where too many relationships fail and how relationships are so important towards individual wellness which I know your dad has touched on in his material of wellness!! Would love if you guys did more in this area and even make it a Niche possibly-because its so needed!!! Thank you for great content!! So appreciate it!
Sweet I relate to Elizabeth so much
Wow. Deep.
This was perfectly done! If it was bulletin pointy it would not be authentic.
You all are just so cute!
This concept of being vulnerable intentionally seems so odd to me every time one of my vulnerabilities has been shared at some point in the future that individual will either share that vulnerability with others as a way of trying to shame me (or just gossiping) or they will use it against me to win an argument. One of the goals of my life has been remove all vulnerability or at least hide them as well as I can and I will never make myself intentionally vulnerable to anyone. Matter of fact, even posting this might make me vulnerable and I need to think about if I should remove it.
My own experience has been similar and the result has been that all the best parts of myself were exiled to a spectral life in Limbo and my experience of the world left hollow, my presence in it little more than an empty shell of armor. After a lifetime of a half-life I have taken up the search for those abandoned parts that were erased by shaming and other forms of abuse and invalidation; part of their rescue is being accomplished through tattooing their essence on the page to give them voice and new life by absorbing them through that outer skin and into my soul, where they always belonged. With them, I am stronger and wiser than I have been without them, and am learning that I no longer need to protect them by locking them away in a prison of cold iron and stone away from the light, where they only grower thinner, weaker, and more pale with time.
I hope you will let your comment stand, as an example and as a witness to help encourage the legions of others who have lived the same story, silent behind walls of shame and distrust. The reasons for our reticence are real, but far too easily ignored and dismissed, like those parts of ourselves we hid away for their own safety, and only through their voices can a demand for change be heard. Please don't silence the voice of your truest self, leave the comment- it, and you, do not stand alone.
@@MelW669Thank you very much, I'm glad to be able (finally) to create some beauty from the decades of Darkness and silence, and offer it as a small gift of hope to others who have lost it- it's a challenging and ongoing process, and every word of encouragement is appreciated. Add another warm hug to your (also beautifully expressed) millions in celebration of your good fortune, and another for luck in hopes that it continues to hold you close in its good company. 😊
@@MelW669 I'm sorry your gentleman didn't stay, I've been ghosted myself and know how that can cause questioning of oneself and the merit of being open to connection. I've also too often been the ghost- there are always "reasons" but invariably the real reasons are hiding in the dark, nursing wounds, afraid of being hurt again, confused about why and how to risk showing up without hurting or being hurt by others. We're all so fragile, and our society is a china shop left open to bulls; few of us find a safe home before we're chipped or broken.
I'm glad you had the opportunity to experience that feeling of warmth and safety and that you've been able to take a positive lesson and hope from it and keep it with you; that's a good indication that you've been able to heal some of your own wounds and it's a great example for others, thank you for sharing your story. I hope you keep trying and soon find that someone who can give you what you're looking for, and stay - I hope that for everybody who still has space inside for hope, however small. Meanwhile, hold on to that million and three. 🫂
A little off topic (I just started this video), but does Elizabeth still discuss PMDD? I just came from a video she did and then one you both did. I am desperate for more help. ❤ Thank you for your time!
brave episode 🎉
I might be at fault but one of the big revaluations for me during the talk is that vulnerability can be a great solution to triggers (being in the fight or flight). If so would you elaborate in another episode? Thanks
Dropped another banger Forrest
UA-cam UI kind of buried the key topics section. But please ensure to give the key topics still. It is very useful for people like me with very limited time yet very high passion to learn and grow.
Yeah I'm not exactly thrilled with the redesign. The chapters should just be on the scroll bar for the episode though.
She is so beautiful I cant even I am about to die Im dying goodbye She is a princess she is an Angel
❤❤❤
What if I want a secure relationship with someone other than Elizabeth? This title really seems aimed at Forrest.
" i would like to do blank activity w/ you"?, is not a little thing " for someone who has trauma"
🙋🏾♀️ME !
yes!!!! 🤔😲👏🏼👏🏼🎉🎉🎉🥳🥳
You speak such an abstract language that it feels like math.
So many gilden bits already in the first 4 minutes
Sorry Lizzy, but I already got someone else in my life