A physician I worked with was the kindest most caring physician I’d ever known. He was a pediatrician. Well known in my area for being the best pediatrician around, children and their parents adored him. His wife also worked in our office and she was equally as sweet. One Saturday night while watching the news a story came on about a house fire and how the wife had tragically died in the fire and the husband had jumped out of the 2 story window but died on impact. It was my boss and coworker. The story went on to say that they were massive hoarders and that had been the cause of the fire. The home was so bad it had to be demolished. Not just from the fire but bc of the hoarding. It was devastating to everyone. We later found out that their son had been killed oversees 12 years prior and that was what prompted the hoarding. So so sad. This man was intelligent, caring, and giving and you would have never suspected. I thank the speaker for this wonderful message. ❤️
This past April, I cleaned up things around the yard, happy of the work I did. When me and my husband were sitting on our picnic bench. He said my hoarding started after we lost our son in 2004. I tried to deny it. I know I have a problem, but it's a battle on so many levels. My basement is 95% full. I have a path to the laundry area. I suffer from severe anxiety and depression. I'm back on medication. I feel my heart pounding ALL the time! I am feeling as if an attack is coming on revealing this secret of self disgust. However, school starts this Wednesday and the baby is finally in school. I have written out in detailed plans of how I will tackle my problems. I'm sick of feeling like I do. It is what it is. But, this is my gift to me...and my family. Less stress. Less anxiety, able to think and not forget something 2 seconds after thinking it. I tackle outside first- doing what I can as economically as possible. At night and in winter months the basement! And, no, I can't allow anyone to help. It causes too much stress and anxiety! Like someone is trying to steal from me. It's scary not to mention borderline ridiculous. I'm 57 and this has to STOP! By the grace of God I will have a home to be proud of. Also, proud of myself for finally doing something about it. I've been wanting to Minimize, but that feels like a joking slap to the face. A hoarder minimizing??? I hope to make an update. How about December 31st?? TTFN 🤔🤣🤪
@@kathleenbrown1395 Sorry for the loss of your son🙏🏽🕊. I know that the pain never goes away. Kudos to you for trying and good luck❤️in your journey to minimize your clutter.
I am a hoarder. It started after my father died in 1994. I lost my husband and later my daughter because of my hoarding. My ex husband thought if I loved him enough I would stop hoarding. I did love him and I certainly love my daughter. I do want to get better and I am proactive. I have read different articles on this subject. I have a pdf on a book by Randy O. Frost and Gail Steketee. This book is a workbook for a counselor to use in helping a hoarder. Frost and Steketee have studied hoarding for the last 20 years so they are experts on this disorder/condition. I do think I need to change the way I think to get better. Having people's compassion would help me trust more. Believe me I hate living like this, the shame, the guilt. But with prayer and cognitive therapy, I will overcome.
I'm adding my prayers to yours. God bless you. It was for freedom we were set free. I am praying that you know the freedom of Christ in every area of your life.
Maybe make some rules: if you put a date on it and you haven't used it in a year, probably don't need it. If you list it on eBay and nobody bites, it's probably a donate item.
My eyes welled up. This is SUCH important work you are doing. I have a de-clutter business and often people feel ashamed at the state their home is in but busy people, life, feeling overwhelmed, not knowing where to begin freezes people into inaction. I LOVE making people feel their power regained - confidence and pride boosted. They want to do the work, they just need some encouragement. I feel extremely blessed to have 'met' you Jennifer. love to you!!!
So well done. Thank you. I'm a professional organizer and have a soft spot in my heart for hoarders. For them to reach out for help is a lesson for all of us in surrendering and taking a difficult first step towards working on whatever it is we need to work on. Not all of our issues are so visible, but many run as deep. Bless you for making the story so personal. Your hoarders are so fortunate to have you.
Thanks for your support and understanding!!! I'm in tears because I realized that my self judgement and shame is what is keeping in my own broken life. I have desires of meal prepping, running and having healthy routines, but having a messy and cluttered apartment makes me feel undeserving and overwhelmed. I'm going tackle it right now and get therapy set up asap.
A kind person once told me, if your yard is so full of weeds that it is just overwhelming, start by planting flowers. In your quest for beauty you will slowly eradicate the weeds unconscious of the effort. Don't target the weeds, make a plan of how you want things and work toward that with joy and hope. Focus on the beautiful and stay on that. Love yourself.
Yes, including myself. I can often feel thoughts of judgement come up in my head. But that's not how I want to be. As an added bonus, when I have been compassionate, I have met some interesting people with life-changing stories to tell me.
in VA when i did start admitting too many clothes, shoes and that sort of stuff. I got less compassion than addicted thieves or drug addicts. Yes the poor drug addicts will steal from their kin.
I’ve ALWAYS Had a super clean house, especially with my OCD, then I started losing everyone 7 years ago. Starting with my husband and most recently my little brother. I’m not a hoarder! I’m in pain from losing so many people!
Yes, Ma'am. It turns out most hoarding is from a loss of some type. Or a big shock. When you've had death after death, it is very hard. Emotional pain is often overwhelming. Writing has been shown to help get the feelings out better than talking. Wishing you freedom from the grief, if even in small ways, a little at a time.
Omg…you just described me! It really is all based in pain and loss. I loved to keep things clean then I went through a lot of trauma from others in my life falling into deep alcoholism/addiction and it triggered childhood issues of so much loss. I got chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia which makes everything so difficult to do. Just sitting back and realizing this lets me breath and forgive myself for the mess.
I grew up in an extremely messy house that was borderline hoarding house. I remember being extremely embarrassed for my friends to come over. You could never see the countertops in the kitchen, and trying to make a meal was an all day process because you had to try to clean a spot before you could even attempt to make anything. I moved out young, and vowed never ever ever to have a house like that. I keep my house quite minimalist and impeccably clean. Honestly it’s not that hard to keep a tidy house. Simply pick up after yourself, and have a chore schedule. I have a three bedroom house and it only takes 40 minutes a day to keep it clean all the time. I know that my mother was quite depressed, and my dad was simply a product of his generation and expected it was a woman’s job to do the cleaning so it just never got done. I think depression is usually the cause of hoarding. I will admit though, growing up as a kid it made me angry that my mom just sat in the kitchen smoking and listening to the radio and rarely did any house work. I would go around and clean things, but nobody would respect the fact that I just cleaned. Within a few days it was just the way it was before. As a teenager it made me retreat into my bedroom and never want to leave it unless I was going out with friends. I disconnected from my family because sitting in the kitchen or living room or family room was just too disturbing. I simply could not relax in that house. I remember I would babysit the neighbours kids and use the money to take my own clothing to the laundromat because our washer and dryer never worked properly and they were literally mounds of mouldy clothes all over the floor in the basement where our washer and dryer lived. I loved my parents don’t get me wrong, but living in that house messed with my head so hard. I didn’t get to have a normal childhood or teen development because I lived in a physically and mentally toxic environment. Sometimes I wonder if hoarders even think about what they are doing to their children.
i feel for you, and know what you went through. they think it's fine, and any criticism is an attack. luckily we have the power to move on and make changes and create a positive environment for us and our own families. in the end it's just STUFF and they chose stuff over their environment. sending hugs
My mom tell me she think about me, it's just she simply can't stop and she don't realize she making the thing like that That's the judgment problem in hoarder mind, they simply cant choose One occasion just recently my mother tell me she want buying a cupboard (we tight on budget too) to store things so it become less messy, then i ask her to choose buying cupboard with buying cement to repair the wall (we get moldy wall i lived in another city for 6 years) Then when i ask her that, she silent and seem like something dawn in her mind They cant chose what important and what exactly in front of them that they need to do They kind like skip the process, they immediately choose the end of their goal
Just clean for 40 min per day? For someone in freeze mode, as in fight flight or freeze, they have a hard time doing most things. It has to do with impaired executive function, for starters. You have no doubt been damaged by the ordeal and something damaged your folks individually (see attachment theory). Yet you sound very judgemental. Where's the compassion for their inability to respond? Is it their narcissism making them not care about your needs? Your anger is understandable yet you have a blind spot for how even 5 min a day cleaning could elude them. If they love you and do want to act but struggle to do that, try to stop judging their failure to comply or be able to deliver your standards.
@@vonn2221 the brain doesn't process and if ADHD or worse, full blown hoarding disorder, or even depression, the brain fog and multitudes of items cloud the ability to make decisions easily or at all. Always the fear of 'needing' it or making a mistake and moving along something you love/will later need. That's the pathology. Until reading these comments which are scary, or one is in a crisis, then action happens. It's like the movie Awakenings with Robin Williams where people have a waking paralysis, only different disorder.
The one aspect of hoarding I have never read about is the hopeless, “giving up” component. If liife is too overwhelming, and there makes not sense (there is no payoff) for “cleaning up” which seems like a senseless occupation. It all builds up. It’s too expensive to repair. Life becomes hopeless, and the hoarder feels helpless. Hoarding becomes a way of life, especially when it costs too much, or is too difficult, overwhelming, to clean it all up. Shame and fear are the most common feelings. This is passed down from parents to children; difficulty with organizing and planning. *** society ** that’s where it starts.
@Mandy Lastmy sisters are hoarders. It starts back with my grandmother (who was a child of the South.wonder if deprivation after the civil war has anything to do with it). It is a complex disorder that may be seated in genetics and psychological issues. To shame my sisters would be just pilling on more damage. My job is to be compassionate, just like this wonderful speaker. I hope that there is some way to help alleviate the high level of anxiety these people have in dealing with their overwhelming piles of things. They don't want to live like this, but they are too overwhelmed to know where to start.
Everyone struggles. Some more than others. For them hoarding helps them cope. For me it’s working much more than I really should and food. It’s important to remember that at the root of it we’re all the same even though our struggles look a little different.
Just found this. I have a friend in another state whose house has gotten bad due to many factors. Those around her have not been compassionate, they have become cold and rude to her. She is older and has fallen & broken a hip. She is recovering at this time and she is trying to go through things in her house. She has a lot of cats, also, and loves them dearly, as she couldn't have children. I wish so much that I could help her but alas, she is far away and I have not the means to go out there. I can only help her over the phone. It's a sad situation when one can't try to understand the underlying reasons why such things happen. Good video, thanks.
Thank you so much. This applies to everything - it is always better to choose kindness & compassion. Most people probably know they have a problem already they just can’t need a little bit of help - just somebody being kind. I work in a different field, most people I help already come in feeling bad about what they are doing or not doing, and you can see, they are so used to being reprimanded for it, when I tell them it’s not at all as bad as they think and we got it - no problem - they look so relieved I get sad for a few minutes how we get so used to being treated unkindly, and then we just go to work and most really see it’s never as bad as they imagined. Thank you for being compassionate - the world needs more of that.
Jennifer, Fantastic presentation. You treat people like people no matter who they are where they come from, what they look like and what their problems are. You can do no wrong when you do that. Thanks for being a resource for my people when they are in need. I always find you and your people treat my people with the care and respect that they deserve. Keep up the good work.
@@alexmonaxo2292 Clients. As a Massage Therapist, I always referred to my clients as 'My People'. They were under my caring and protection. They were important to me and I felt close to them.
I’m happy to know there is at least one person in the world who is kind and understanding. I’m convinced that I’m a hoarder. Anyway, thank you, this was a good talk.
I just left my parents home near you. They are sweet people. They have the same disorder. I am in fear for their well being but don’t want them to push me away. Mom has before. 😢
My "hoarding" situation began after an immense personal loss- the death of my eldest son ( a homicide, the result of his giirlfriend's love of creating drama, and her refusal to pay for carelessly damaging his vehicle. Factors in the situation made her actions quite callous).
Wonderful presentation. I had a relative who suffered from hoarding disorder and was grossly misunderstood. May they rest in peace. This same philosophy can be applied to our daily lives. You are truly inspirational. ❤️❤️❤️
You make me cry: I finally get some nice words, instead of just cold and harsh glances when talking ablout this subject. Thank you so much. We really need compassion.
Thank you for replacing my judgment of hoarders with compassion. Compassion is much more effective than my judgment anyway. I hope that every hoarder can find a compassionate hand up out of the brokenness in their lives.
You are so kind - you have a big heart and I can feel it through your video. The way you do not judge people, the way you help people. I love that. Thanks for sharing your own story and your experience. this was an interesting speech - thanks for sharing it!
You are an amazing beautiful kind soul. Your walk is a beacon of hope for those too ashamed to speak up that they need help. How often are those people in charge drunk with superiority and grandeur who judge condemn and forever dash all hopes of those asking for help. Anyone who is trying to help let this be a priority before being granted the business license...if you have no compassion no respect no love for people in need of your help then you have no business at all to address anyone in a fragile state.
Hoarding, like any addiction, is a coping strategy for people who have unresolved suppressed trauma issues. Our society has taught us to suppress these experiences which they see as « weaknesses ». However, this is not signs of weakness; instead, feelings of helplessness which could not be released and expressed, which is what is needed instead of shame. This talk is compassionate and shows us what we really need to do with all forms of addiction!
this is so so important , thank you so much for your talk and your work. i met somebody who is dealing with this issue and i feel its difficult to understand how to relate, because im judgemental, and just starting to understand how patience, compassion, simpathy play roles ..... it is an incredibly emotional thing
Thank you for this message. I'm living with a hoarder and I've been thinking of offering my help, if even a little, instead of being judgmental as I have been. You were so fortunate to leave the abuse! Your twins are lucky to have such a kind and resourceful mother! Peace!
What a compassionate person!!! One of my favorite verses in the bible says, "The kindness (compassion) of God leads to repentance." Many times it is compassion and acceptance that makes the walls of fear and resistance come down, and the gratefully surprised recipient finally open to change. I wasn't surprised to learn how her suffering and experience with compassion in her own life changed her. I (and I'm sure many, many others) learned compassion from the things we suffered.
This is a beautiful explanation of "A Hoarder". Thank you. You have inspired me to compassion, as our Creator would have us be--compassionate toward one another.
@@stevengonzalez27 Hoarders know this kind of thing, but they struggle with decision making. What to give and what to keep is a paralyzing situation for my family member who hoards art supplies and everything else. Therefore, she has 15 boxes of art supplies stacked in her livingroom under piles of other things, even though she has not done art in years. She has talked about giving them away hundreds of times, but it always comes down to her inability to decide what to give and what to keep. :( It is certainly a mental illness that no one seems to know how to address effectively yet.
This is the most beautiful representation and translation I have ever witnessed . Thank you for your compassion and your deep reverence to this complex process. A low bow. . .
Shame breeds more shame.... I say this because I am a compulsive overeater and live in isolation with my behaviors... I am reading the works of Dr Brene Brown and it’s helping me. I hope others can benefit as well. God bless you
Than you fr this analysis! I see I am maybe 2 or 3 categories away from being a real hoarder !I am an artist and have to work on my organization and cut back on trying to do every project that comes to mind !! I am So thankful you made it to your far away destination with your beautiful Children!!
Right on Jennifer!!! Loved your presentation and will share to my family who is always negetive n non supportive. They think I can and should just easily be able to get it together etc etc Now I can show them this video so professional and compassionate truly. Brouhht me to tears. God bless you and your twins and all compassionate people.
Thank you. Shortly after we remodeled our bathroom and kitchen and had things in boxes my QUADRAPLEGIC husband began to have breathing difficulties and more health problems with aging . in the past two years before he passed I was not able to put things away or keep the house up properly even with a few hrs nursing help. It got worse when I had to drive to hospitals andfacilities. Now with my back in terrible pain and minimal funds since he's passed I'm faced with embarrassing continuing clutter. If it weren't for one remaining son with me our yard would also fall to ruin. WE DO the best we ca Without a lot of help and low on funds. I now can see how elderly people cannot do repairs or paint nor find strength and Time to discard And rearrange their lives. Often another Problem that begins the hoarding cycle Is illness and aging. I still have countless unpacked boxes. And included in them are additional boxes of medical supplies Medicare nor thrift shops etc are not permitted to accept. Thank you for explaining this dilemma and being compassionate. I havent yet given up.....just need help
So saddening to hear of her utter desperation on that bus alone with two 6 month old crying babies and barely enough diapers for a fraction of the journey. I keep thinking of all the organizations that could have helped her. Brave and noble that she got herself and her kids far away from an abuser though. I wonder if he went looking for her.
You r such an amazing woman and Mother Jennifer Im sure. Thank you so much for presenting hoarders the way you did. They truly dont want to keep living the way they do and its terribly hard to truly change the way our brain processess decision making. I think for me its because Im pretty much trying to be a perfectionist still at 52 I think due from my parents n always trying to please them. It always seemed like nothing was ever good enough for them. I realky think for me thats where it all started with them always making me feel thst way. My father died in 2000 but my Mom is still here and I believe still I feel like I can never make her happy . Tbank you for choosing to help people with this problem as your profession. Its almost like to keep it clean and managable forever we have to have like therapy sessions like same as a person that has maybe suffered a strike does when they have to learn things all over again like regular everyday functions . Hoarders have to be reprogrammed in their thinking in how yo manage and organize etc and also how to let go of certain thoughts and worries too to be able to maintain a normal home environment.
Gail M Greenlee ... you are enough. I struggle with never feeling enough..especially around parents ...mom who shows and states dissapointment everytime i see or talk to her. We are enough. Their dissapointment is their own regrets about themselves.... always wanting better for us than they had....or more than what tgey are willing to do themselves. It was more my mom that was and is still critical...my dad is sick now but he was the relaxed one... " good enough" she was and still is the one who can never be pleased.. i had s boss like that too. Super critical but just standing therebarking orders while standing there not willing to help or help themselves. maybe they have already given up....or too embarassed to accept help..... or accept that they too are enough.. snd can stop pushing people away eith their loud angry antics....their survival to keep people away.....even if they need the help. Complain till the cows come home.. but also complain if they fet someone who is willing to help desipite how rude or mean they have been. If they yell they are probably in pain....defense mechanism... if someone comes near ... they scream to hide their fears of getting hurt again. Fear that they have to have everything perfect..or they wont be loved.....thats what i did for years... Because it was tough love.. or nothing. And as a kid of course it was tough love because it seemed better than nothing. But we are enough...our efforts are enough. They are enough too.but maybe never felt it.
I love the beautiful kind compassionate caring and loving person you are. Indeed God will bless you abundantly for it, because these are the same things Jesus taught.
You will never guess how many houses I bought and kept as storage just because I cannot get rid of this mental issue. I find these tedtalks are pretty good . If you have an issue , give yourself a chance by listening to these or just be rich I buy many houses like me.
I tried being compassionate & helped my eldest sister for literally decades but it all backfired. She refuses to get therapy & yes, she’s intelligent & all sorts of other things that are extraneous to her hoarding, but ultimately she’s going to die surrounded by stuff but she won’t change because she’s unwilling to do the internal work to get rid of her anger. Compassion is a great idea but the hoarder has to acknowledge the problem & want to deal with the addiction.
The place I work at has been called several times to clean out a hoarders place. The first time the house looked exactly like you may have seen on TV. A tiny little path between mounds of stuff. The other I remember is a house where we cleaned out two and a half rooms of books. It took all three of our vehicles plus our 14 ft. trailer to haul it all. The judging part came for that first place came when the firepartment declared it unfit to live. The couples daughter eventually loaded up three industrial size dumpsters to get rid of stuff so her mom and dad could keep the house.
WOW, very powerful message. We all should practice compassion instead of judging people. Unfortunately in our day and age, many people hide behind social media to fling their hate around. So sad.
I would not even call it a disorder. I would call it the normal reaction to having been injured several time throughout ones life !! Still a hoarder is not perse a hoarder , they have complexities and some just like to assimilate in objects that what their minds has(have) in memories !! Some even use the gathering technique as form of security in an imperment world !! Unfortunately , it even seems that horders have lost compassion for themselves and can mostly still have it for others !! ....and or possibly they also just like to hoard like bankers hoard money , and is not that different at all !! (but intention or motivation differ) !
I think hoarding is more common for people who grew up with very little, in their life. My grandmother is a hoarder, she even hoards food, which goes rotten inside cupboards and stuff. But she doesn't like giving them away to needy people either. She's was very poor when she was little and she didn't have much and she used to save everything for her kids. But even though those times will never come again, since we're all very well off now, she still has those habits.
Hoarding is honestly to be expected in this society. Everything is things, things, things, money, money, money, more, more, more. I don't want to let go of things because they have value. I could sell them. But they have memories. Memories and value and earning and creativity and resourcefulness is all tied up into it. I am not a hoarder, but I am not a neat freak. I have family members who keep everything, even if they don't need it. Because you might need it one day. I think the sickness is not just hoarding. It's also the disposable society that we live in, where things are manufactured to be thrown away. Everything is balance, and hoarding is one side, where disposable is the other.
i am a hoarder, it is ruining my life and i am only 21. In my city, sydney australia i cant afford any help and I have been rejected by over 20 mental health places because they are only funded to help hoarders over 65. people who have already lived my life twice, im so scared ill h=make it to 65 and still be like this.
Trent McGobble Get self help books, watch helpful videos. Think what traumatic event may have triggered the problem. Maybe organise a free support group, without age limits. People dealing with the same issues may have some helpful things to say. At least they are a lot less likely to judge you. Maybe there are professionals willing to donate a little of their precious time??
It never occurred to be to think ill of hoarders! Obviously something's going on they can't get a handle on. We need more compassion all the way around.
You are so wonderful! I know God sent you to speak to everyone! What you said about the brain makes sense. I was wondering, could you explain what type of therapy actually works for hoarders so we don’t keep going back and repeating the same mess over again?! PLEASE let us know, I have been to many therapists and nothing is helping!
Hi, I realise you probably wanted the speaker of this video to answer, but I wanted to reach out and recommend the Psychological healing center. Check out Dr JUDY Wtf. here on youtube..I've been talking to one of their therapists, and it goes back to childhood or the root cause of why people are struggling in the present. Take care, Nicolle
@Jean MacLean I saw a really interesting discussion about ptsd therapy these Dr.s in Chicago are doing. It was on Hot Boxin with Mike Tyson & he was interviewing Tony ....? the life guru guy. You can find it. It sounded very promising! You may not think you have ptsd but look into it!
I was raised by an alcoholic mother. As her alcoholism escalated, the hoarding did also... they are both addictions I believe. Both will leave the person alone and isolated. I cannot separate out the greed and selfishness of hoarders, I’ve lived it.
Barbara D'Ascenzo Hoarders are not greedy, not at all. They have real reasons and believe systems, even if does not make sense to the world. They may feel that they can have no control over any other aspect of their life, or something like that. They may think they will need their stuff, or they may just be too overwelmed to organize. Whatever the reason. Disrespect just agravates it, and very much so.
A physician I worked with was the kindest most caring physician I’d ever known. He was a pediatrician. Well known in my area for being the best pediatrician around, children and their parents adored him. His wife also worked in our office and she was equally as sweet. One Saturday night while watching the news a story came on about a house fire and how the wife had tragically died in the fire and the husband had jumped out of the 2 story window but died on impact. It was my boss and coworker. The story went on to say that they were massive hoarders and that had been the cause of the fire. The home was so bad it had to be demolished. Not just from the fire but bc of the hoarding. It was devastating to everyone. We later found out that their son had been killed oversees 12 years prior and that was what prompted the hoarding. So so sad. This man was intelligent, caring, and giving and you would have never suspected. I thank the speaker for this wonderful message. ❤️
Thank you for sharing this touching story. I am crying.
Thank you, peace - my son died by suicide in the Army 7 years ago. My house fell apart for 6 years
Thanks for sharing this story. This is so sad💔but you never know what people are going through,what triggers hoarding.
This past April, I cleaned up things around the yard, happy of the work I did. When me and my husband were sitting on our picnic bench. He said my hoarding started after we lost our son in 2004. I tried to deny it. I know I have a problem, but it's a battle on so many levels. My basement is 95% full. I have a path to the laundry area. I suffer from severe anxiety and depression. I'm back on medication. I feel my heart pounding ALL the time! I am feeling as if an attack is coming on revealing this secret of self disgust. However, school starts this Wednesday and the baby is finally in school. I have written out in detailed plans of how I will tackle my problems. I'm sick of feeling like I do. It is what it is. But, this is my gift to me...and my family. Less stress. Less anxiety, able to think and not forget something 2 seconds after thinking it. I tackle outside first- doing what I can as economically as possible. At night and in winter months the basement! And, no, I can't allow anyone to help. It causes too much stress and anxiety! Like someone is trying to steal from me. It's scary not to mention borderline ridiculous. I'm 57 and this has to STOP! By the grace of God I will have a home to be proud of. Also, proud of myself for finally doing something about it. I've been wanting to Minimize, but that feels like a joking slap to the face. A hoarder minimizing??? I hope to make an update. How about December 31st?? TTFN 🤔🤣🤪
@@kathleenbrown1395 Sorry for the loss of your son🙏🏽🕊. I know that the pain never goes away. Kudos to you for trying and good luck❤️in your journey to minimize your clutter.
So few on the internet ever call for compassion. God bless you.
Truth.
I am a hoarder. It started after my father died in 1994. I lost my husband and later my daughter because of my hoarding. My ex husband thought if I loved him enough I would stop hoarding. I did love him and I certainly love my daughter. I do want to get better and I am proactive. I have read different articles on this subject. I have a pdf on a book by Randy O. Frost and Gail Steketee. This book is a workbook for a counselor to use in helping a hoarder. Frost and Steketee have studied hoarding for the last 20 years so they are experts on this disorder/condition. I do think I need to change the way I think to get better. Having people's compassion would help me trust more. Believe me I hate living like this, the shame, the guilt. But with prayer and cognitive therapy, I will overcome.
I'm adding my prayers to yours. God bless you. It was for freedom we were set free. I am praying that you know the freedom of Christ in every area of your life.
Praying for you that these chains can be broken, they can be by Jesus!
Sending good thoughts!
Ask your Savior Jesus Christ to help you. Tell Him you trust He will. Then watch and listen ❤
Maybe make some rules: if you put a date on it and you haven't used it in a year, probably don't need it.
If you list it on eBay and nobody bites, it's probably a donate item.
My eyes welled up. This is SUCH important work you are doing. I have a de-clutter business and often people feel ashamed at the state their home is in but busy people, life, feeling overwhelmed, not knowing where to begin freezes people into inaction. I LOVE making people feel their power regained - confidence and pride boosted. They want to do the work, they just need some encouragement. I feel extremely blessed to have 'met' you Jennifer. love to you!!!
Keep it up! 🙏💙
Bless you for your perspective on this. Thank you for not making hoarders out to be bad people. As a child of hoarders, bless you.
Same
So well done. Thank you. I'm a professional organizer and have a soft spot in my heart for hoarders. For them to reach out for help is a lesson for all of us in surrendering and taking a difficult first step towards working on whatever it is we need to work on. Not all of our issues are so visible, but many run as deep. Bless you for making the story so personal. Your hoarders are so fortunate to have you.
Let's choose compassion.
Thanks for your support and understanding!!! I'm in tears because I realized that my self judgement and shame is what is keeping in my own broken life. I have desires of meal prepping, running and having healthy routines, but having a messy and cluttered apartment makes me feel undeserving and overwhelmed. I'm going tackle it right now and get therapy set up asap.
Good on you Desert Rose!! Go slowly, but keep it up as a lovely new habit every day, every week...slowly...xx
A kind person once told me, if your yard is so full of weeds that it is just overwhelming, start by planting flowers. In your quest for beauty you will slowly eradicate the weeds unconscious of the effort. Don't target the weeds, make a plan of how you want things and work toward that with joy and hope. Focus on the beautiful and stay on that. Love yourself.
So, a year later... how are you doing Rose? :-)
If only more people sought the path of compassion.
Exactly. It would change the world.
Yes, including myself. I can often feel thoughts of judgement come up in my head. But that's not how I want to be. As an added bonus, when I have been compassionate, I have met some interesting people with life-changing stories to tell me.
We can’t help what we feel and think. We CAN reframe negative thoughts with the goals of being supportive and/or constructive.
in VA when i did start admitting too many clothes, shoes and that sort of stuff. I got less compassion than addicted thieves or drug addicts. Yes the poor drug addicts will steal from their kin.
Imagine how different the world would be.
People like Jennifer Hanzlick make this world a better place and set a remarkable example to other people.
I’ve ALWAYS Had a super clean house, especially with my OCD, then I started losing everyone 7 years ago. Starting with my husband and most recently my little brother. I’m not a hoarder! I’m in pain from losing so many people!
I know I'm just a stranger, but... **hugs**
Yes, Ma'am. It turns out most hoarding is from a loss of some type. Or a big shock. When you've had death after death, it is very hard. Emotional pain is often overwhelming. Writing has been shown to help get the feelings out better than talking. Wishing you freedom from the grief, if even in small ways, a little at a time.
Omg…you just described me! It really is all based in pain and loss. I loved to keep things clean then I went through a lot of trauma from others in my life falling into deep alcoholism/addiction and it triggered childhood issues of so much loss. I got chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia which makes everything so difficult to do. Just sitting back and realizing this lets me breath and forgive myself for the mess.
Yes!
I grew up in an extremely messy house that was borderline hoarding house. I remember being extremely embarrassed for my friends to come over. You could never see the countertops in the kitchen, and trying to make a meal was an all day process because you had to try to clean a spot before you could even attempt to make anything. I moved out young, and vowed never ever ever to have a house like that. I keep my house quite minimalist and impeccably clean.
Honestly it’s not that hard to keep a tidy house. Simply pick up after yourself, and have a chore schedule. I have a three bedroom house and it only takes 40 minutes a day to keep it clean all the time.
I know that my mother was quite depressed, and my dad was simply a product of his generation and expected it was a woman’s job to do the cleaning so it just never got done. I think depression is usually the cause of hoarding. I will admit though, growing up as a kid it made me angry that my mom just sat in the kitchen smoking and listening to the radio and rarely did any house work. I would go around and clean things, but nobody would respect the fact that I just cleaned.
Within a few days it was just the way it was before.
As a teenager it made me retreat into my bedroom and never want to leave it unless I was going out with friends. I disconnected from my family because sitting in the kitchen or living room or family room was just too disturbing. I simply could not relax in that house. I remember I would babysit the neighbours kids and use the money to take my own clothing to the laundromat because our washer and dryer never worked properly and they were literally mounds of mouldy clothes all over the floor in the basement where our washer and dryer lived.
I loved my parents don’t get me wrong, but living in that house messed with my head so hard. I didn’t get to have a normal childhood or teen development because I lived in a physically and mentally toxic environment. Sometimes I wonder if hoarders even think about what they are doing to their children.
i feel for you, and know what you went through. they think it's fine, and any criticism is an attack. luckily we have the power to move on and make changes and create a positive environment for us and our own families. in the end it's just STUFF and they chose stuff over their environment. sending hugs
My mom tell me she think about me, it's just she simply can't stop and she don't realize she making the thing like that
That's the judgment problem in hoarder mind, they simply cant choose
One occasion just recently my mother tell me she want buying a cupboard (we tight on budget too) to store things so it become less messy, then i ask her to choose buying cupboard with buying cement to repair the wall (we get moldy wall i lived in another city for 6 years)
Then when i ask her that, she silent and seem like something dawn in her mind
They cant chose what important and what exactly in front of them that they need to do
They kind like skip the process, they immediately choose the end of their goal
Just clean for 40 min per day? For someone in freeze mode, as in fight flight or freeze, they have a hard time doing most things. It has to do with impaired executive function, for starters. You have no doubt been damaged by the ordeal and something damaged your folks individually (see attachment theory). Yet you sound very judgemental. Where's the compassion for their inability to respond? Is it their narcissism making them not care about your needs? Your anger is understandable yet you have a blind spot for how even 5 min a day cleaning could elude them. If they love you and do want to act but struggle to do that, try to stop judging their failure to comply or be able to deliver your standards.
@@ardenevoxI would like to second all that you said, yes.
@@vonn2221 the brain doesn't process and if ADHD or worse, full blown hoarding disorder, or even depression, the brain fog and multitudes of items cloud the ability to make decisions easily or at all. Always the fear of 'needing' it or making a mistake and moving along something you love/will later need. That's the pathology. Until reading these comments which are scary, or one is in a crisis, then action happens. It's like the movie Awakenings with Robin Williams where people have a waking paralysis, only different disorder.
Good message. I will be a little kinder when thinking about hoarders now. It is a bad predicament.
The one aspect of hoarding I have never read about is the hopeless, “giving up” component. If liife is too overwhelming, and there makes not sense (there is no payoff) for “cleaning up” which seems like a senseless occupation. It all builds up. It’s too expensive to repair. Life becomes hopeless, and the hoarder feels helpless. Hoarding becomes a way of life, especially when it costs too much, or is too difficult, overwhelming, to clean it all up. Shame and fear are the most common feelings. This is passed down from parents to children; difficulty with organizing and planning. *** society ** that’s where it starts.
@Mandy Lastmy sisters are hoarders. It starts back with my grandmother (who was a child of the South.wonder if deprivation after the civil war has anything to do with it). It is a complex disorder that may be seated in genetics and psychological issues. To shame my sisters would be just pilling on more damage. My job is to be compassionate, just like this wonderful speaker. I hope that there is some way to help alleviate the high level of anxiety these people have in dealing with their overwhelming piles of things. They don't want to live like this, but they are too overwhelmed to know where to start.
@Mandy Last well said
Everyone struggles. Some more than others. For them hoarding helps them cope. For me it’s working much more than I really should and food. It’s important to remember that at the root of it we’re all the same even though our struggles look a little different.
Just found this. I have a friend in another state whose house has gotten bad due to many factors. Those around her have not been compassionate, they have become cold and rude to her. She is older and has fallen & broken a hip. She is recovering at this time and she is trying to go through things in her house. She has a lot of cats, also, and loves them dearly, as she couldn't have children. I wish so much that I could help her but alas, she is far away and I have not the means to go out there. I can only help her over the phone. It's a sad situation when one can't try to understand the underlying reasons why such things happen. Good video, thanks.
Such a beautiful presentation. I would suggest changing the title to The Power of Compassion. More should listen to this thoughtful speaker.
Thank you so much. This applies to everything - it is always better to choose kindness & compassion. Most people probably know they have a problem already they just can’t need a little bit of help - just somebody being kind. I work in a different field, most people I help already come in feeling bad about what they are doing or not doing, and you can see, they are so used to being reprimanded for it, when I tell them it’s not at all as bad as they think and we got it - no problem - they look so relieved I get sad for a few minutes how we get so used to being treated unkindly, and then we just go to work and most really see it’s never as bad as they imagined. Thank you for being compassionate - the world needs more of that.
Jennifer, Fantastic presentation. You treat people like people no matter who they are where they come from, what they look like and what their problems are. You can do no wrong when you do that. Thanks for being a resource for my people when they are in need. I always find you and your people treat my people with the care and respect that they deserve. Keep up the good work.
What do you mean by "your people" & "my people"?
@@alexmonaxo2292
Clients. As a Massage Therapist, I always referred to my clients as 'My People'. They were under my caring and protection. They were important to me and I felt close to them.
I’m happy to know there is at least one person in the world who is kind and understanding.
I’m convinced that I’m a hoarder.
Anyway, thank you, this was a good talk.
How beautiful. It's all about empathy, understanding, and compassion, isn't it? We're all in this together.
I just left my parents home near you. They are sweet people. They have the same disorder. I am in fear for their well being but don’t want them to push me away. Mom has before. 😢
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this video - Many hide due to ridicule and being ashamed - also because they don't know how to fix it
My "hoarding" situation began after an immense personal loss- the death of my eldest son ( a homicide, the result of his giirlfriend's love of creating drama, and her refusal to pay for carelessly damaging his vehicle. Factors in the situation made her actions quite callous).
A lot of people hoard to keep other people away. They feel safer in their own place.
@@patriciasalvatore2394 so sorry for the loss of your dear son 🖤
This made me cry, you're awesome. My mother is a hoarder. Thank you so much! :-)
Wonderful presentation. I had a relative who suffered from hoarding disorder and was grossly misunderstood. May they rest in peace. This same philosophy can be applied to our daily lives. You are truly inspirational. ❤️❤️❤️
omg, i cried. we can help them, just to be patient and understanding.
This despicable world needs more wonderful people like her!
Jennifer Hanzlick is an amazing human being.
You make me cry: I finally get some nice words, instead of just cold and harsh glances when talking ablout this subject. Thank you so much. We really need compassion.
Thank you for replacing my judgment of hoarders with compassion. Compassion is much more effective than my judgment anyway. I hope that every hoarder can find a compassionate hand up out of the brokenness in their lives.
Then you can apply that logic to every aspect of life, not just hoarding.
Wow you are a beautiful person. God does so much work through our pain. It’s never wasted . Your compassion is palpable
You are so kind - you have a big heart and I can feel it through your video. The way you do not judge people, the way you help people. I love that. Thanks for sharing your own story and your experience.
this was an interesting speech - thanks for sharing it!
My brother is a hoarder and I love him, thanks to that we still have things to reflect on. THANK YOU! Those were the GREAT! TIMES!.
This is amazing....her experience on the bus really drives home the point....compassion not judgement 🙏
You are an amazing beautiful kind soul. Your walk is a beacon of hope for those too ashamed to speak up that they need help. How often are those people in charge drunk with superiority and grandeur who judge condemn and forever dash all hopes of those asking for help. Anyone who is trying to help let this be a priority before being granted the business license...if you have no compassion no respect no love for people in need of your help then you have no business at all to address anyone in a fragile state.
Hoarding, like any addiction, is a coping strategy for people who have unresolved suppressed trauma issues. Our society has taught us to suppress these experiences which they see as « weaknesses ». However, this is not signs of weakness; instead, feelings of helplessness which could not be released and expressed, which is what is needed instead of shame. This talk is compassionate and shows us what we really need to do with all forms of addiction!
We had a family friend who passed and we never knew until my parents went to clean his house out. Compassion is key.
this is so so important , thank you so much for your talk and your work. i met somebody who is dealing with this issue and i feel its difficult to understand how to relate, because im judgemental, and just starting to understand how patience, compassion, simpathy play roles ..... it is an incredibly emotional thing
Thank you for this message. I'm living with a hoarder and I've been thinking of offering my help, if even a little, instead of being judgmental as I have been. You were so fortunate to leave the abuse! Your twins are lucky to have such a kind and resourceful mother! Peace!
What a compassionate person!!! One of my favorite verses in the bible says, "The kindness (compassion) of God leads to repentance." Many times it is compassion and acceptance that makes the walls of fear and resistance come down, and the gratefully surprised recipient finally open to change. I wasn't surprised to learn how her suffering and experience with compassion in her own life changed her. I (and I'm sure many, many others) learned compassion from the things we suffered.
You're an inspiration with an amazing message... keep it up!
Perfection
This is a beautiful explanation of "A Hoarder". Thank you. You have inspired me to compassion, as our Creator would have us be--compassionate toward one another.
I hoarded. Soothe my loneliness. More art supplies than I could ever use and I’m no Frieda.
Coral Day
There might be school in a poor area, needing suppies or an after school program. They would just love you.
Steven Gonzalez I am a teacher, and I do work in a school that could use supplies, so that where the fancy paper, etc. ends up. 😂
Me too sister
@@stevengonzalez27 Hoarders know this kind of thing, but they struggle with decision making. What to give and what to keep is a paralyzing situation for my family member who hoards art supplies and everything else. Therefore, she has 15 boxes of art supplies stacked in her livingroom under piles of other things, even though she has not done art in years. She has talked about giving them away hundreds of times, but it always comes down to her inability to decide what to give and what to keep. :( It is certainly a mental illness that no one seems to know how to address effectively yet.
me too! But not because of loneliness. When you have too much you don't use any of it!!
FANTASTIC presentation! Compassion is truly powerful!
That thing you said about your babies made me cry at work.
get to work
@@mikeholley4488 lol!
This is the most beautiful representation and translation I have ever witnessed . Thank you for your compassion and your deep reverence to this complex process. A low bow. . .
Excellent, heart-felt, enlightening presentation. Thank you, Jennifer. You're a great speaker and an inspiration.
Beautiful heart warming words. Thankyou
Shame breeds more shame.... I say this because I am a compulsive overeater and live in isolation with my behaviors... I am reading the works of Dr Brene Brown and it’s helping me. I hope others can benefit as well. God bless you
So true. Hope your journey gets easier
This was about so much more than hoarding!!!
You are an angel! You have used your experience of shame and compassion to make the world a better place, I admire you.
Thank you - you have no idea how much.
Excellent. I always wondered why some of the staff of Hoarders didn't see that this disorder is not voluntary.
Than you fr this analysis! I see I am maybe 2 or 3 categories away from being a real hoarder !I am an artist and have to work on my organization and cut back on trying to do every project that comes to mind !! I am So thankful you made it to your far away destination with your beautiful Children!!
This presentation moved me to tears. So beautiful. Thank you
One of the best TED talks I've viewed. 👍🏻
She chose the Perfect dress. This speech is fantastic. Thank you for sharing the Love.
Thanks your speech opened my eyes in more ways than one. You are one of life's good people. Thankyou
Right on Jennifer!!! Loved your presentation and will share to my family who is always negetive n non supportive. They think I can and should just easily be able to get it together etc etc Now I can show them this video so professional and compassionate truly. Brouhht me to tears. God bless you and your twins and all compassionate people.
Thank you. Shortly after we remodeled our bathroom and kitchen and had things in boxes my QUADRAPLEGIC husband began to have breathing difficulties and more health problems with aging . in the past two years before he passed I was not able to put things away or keep the house up properly even with a few hrs nursing help. It got worse when I had to drive to hospitals andfacilities. Now with my back in terrible pain and minimal funds since he's passed I'm faced with embarrassing continuing clutter. If it weren't for one remaining son with me our yard would also fall to ruin. WE DO the best we ca Without a lot of help and low on funds. I now can see how elderly people cannot do repairs or paint nor find strength and Time to discard And rearrange their lives. Often another Problem that begins the hoarding cycle Is illness and aging. I still have countless unpacked boxes. And included in them are additional boxes of medical supplies Medicare nor thrift shops etc are not permitted to accept. Thank you for explaining this dilemma and being compassionate. I havent yet given up.....just need help
Excellent descriptions and suggestions for keeping compassion front and centre.
"I am certain, you are where you are at, by Gods' calling.
You are a Gift from God."
so you are saying that god creates these people, so god makes errors?
Who are those who abuse others? Not-gifts? Curses?
She made me cry like no other TED Speaker. Thank you ❤
So saddening to hear of her utter desperation on that bus alone with two 6 month old crying babies and barely enough diapers for a fraction of the journey. I keep thinking of all the organizations that could have helped her. Brave and noble that she got herself and her kids far away from an abuser though. I wonder if he went looking for her.
That was, the most touching presentation I have seen. Ever. Thank you and bless you ❤
Wow! You're awesome Jennifer. I have a friend who is a hoarder......I think I know what to do now. Thanks.
You r such an amazing woman and Mother Jennifer Im sure. Thank you so much for presenting hoarders the way you did. They truly dont want to keep living the way they do and its terribly hard to truly change the way our brain processess decision making. I think for me its because Im pretty much trying to be a perfectionist still at 52 I think due from my parents n always trying to please them. It always seemed like nothing was ever good enough for them. I realky think for me thats where it all started with them always making me feel thst way. My father died in 2000 but my Mom is still here and I believe still I feel like I can never make her happy . Tbank you for choosing to help people with this problem as your profession. Its almost like to keep it clean and managable forever we have to have like therapy sessions like same as a person that has maybe suffered a strike does when they have to learn things all over again like regular everyday functions . Hoarders have to be reprogrammed in their thinking in how yo manage and organize etc and also how to let go of certain thoughts and worries too to be able to maintain a normal home environment.
Gail M Greenlee ... you are enough.
I struggle with never feeling enough..especially around parents ...mom who shows and states dissapointment everytime i see or talk to her.
We are enough.
Their dissapointment is their own regrets about themselves.... always wanting better for us than they had....or more than what tgey are willing to do themselves.
It was more my mom that was and is still critical...my dad is sick now but he was the relaxed one... " good enough" she was and still is the one who can never be pleased.. i had s boss like that too.
Super critical but just standing therebarking orders while standing there not willing to help or help themselves. maybe they have already given up....or too embarassed to accept help..... or accept that they too are enough.. snd can stop pushing people away eith their loud angry antics....their survival to keep people away.....even if they need the help.
Complain till the cows come home.. but also complain if they fet someone who is willing to help desipite how rude or mean they have been. If they yell they are probably in pain....defense mechanism... if someone comes near ... they scream to hide their fears of getting hurt again.
Fear that they have to have everything perfect..or they wont be loved.....thats what i did for years...
Because it was tough love.. or nothing. And as a kid of course it was tough love because it seemed better than nothing.
But we are enough...our efforts are enough. They are enough too.but maybe never felt it.
Lori Siccia
Each of us know when we give it all we have got. The world may not see it, but God surely does. And that is enough for me.
I love the beautiful kind compassionate caring and loving person you are. Indeed God will bless you abundantly for it, because these are the same things Jesus taught.
You will never guess how many houses I bought and kept as storage just because I cannot get rid of this mental issue. I find these tedtalks are pretty good . If you have an issue , give yourself a chance by listening to these or just be rich I buy many houses like me.
Can I have one? All I've ever wanted was a home. I promise to take good care of it.
Such an important message. Thank you for your perspective - you’ve changed minds today.
I tried being compassionate & helped my eldest sister for literally decades but it all backfired. She refuses to get therapy & yes, she’s intelligent & all sorts of other things that are extraneous to her hoarding, but ultimately she’s going to die surrounded by stuff but she won’t change because she’s unwilling to do the internal work to get rid of her anger. Compassion is a great idea but the hoarder has to acknowledge the problem & want to deal with the addiction.
The place I work at has been called several times to clean out a hoarders place. The first time the house looked exactly like you may have seen on TV. A tiny little path between mounds of stuff. The other I remember is a house where we cleaned out two and a half rooms of books. It took all three of our vehicles plus our 14 ft. trailer to haul it all. The judging part came for that first place came when the firepartment declared it unfit to live. The couples daughter eventually loaded up three industrial size dumpsters to get rid of stuff so her mom and dad could keep the house.
WOW, very powerful message. We all should practice compassion instead of judging people. Unfortunately in our day and age, many people hide behind social media to fling their hate around. So sad.
A gift, is what you have...and what Im taking from this.
So beautifully said, all of it. Thank you x
such an inspiring message😢
definitely touching, enlightening, i am moved.
such an important message! Excellent!
Teary eyes and taught. Thank you
I would not even call it a disorder. I would call it the normal reaction to having been injured several time throughout ones life !! Still a hoarder is not perse a hoarder , they have complexities and some just like to assimilate in objects that what their minds has(have) in memories !! Some even use the gathering technique as form of security in an imperment world !! Unfortunately , it even seems that horders have lost compassion for themselves and can mostly still have it for others !!
....and or possibly they also just like to hoard like bankers hoard money , and is not that different at all !! (but intention or motivation differ) !
What a good person she is. So kind and compassionate.
A brilliant talk! Wonderful person!!
Bless you Jennifer. You used your troubles to help others.
I think hoarding is more common for people who grew up with very little, in their life. My grandmother is a hoarder, she even hoards food, which goes rotten inside cupboards and stuff. But she doesn't like giving them away to needy people either. She's was very poor when she was little and she didn't have much and she used to save everything for her kids. But even though those times will never come again, since we're all very well off now, she still has those habits.
You are a very precious woman. Thank you for this.
Thank you for opening my eyes. I now. understand
Standing ovation! Superb talk; thanks so much!!
God bless you ..thank you for raising awareness
Amazing speaker, we need to spread love as God is love. Help each other through our kind words, actions or just by praying for them, God Bless us all!
My God, what a beautiful lady, beautiful in all ways.
What a beautiful story at the end! Thank you so much for your vulnerability in sharing!
Hoarding is honestly to be expected in this society. Everything is things, things, things, money, money, money, more, more, more. I don't want to let go of things because they have value. I could sell them. But they have memories. Memories and value and earning and creativity and resourcefulness is all tied up into it. I am not a hoarder, but I am not a neat freak. I have family members who keep everything, even if they don't need it. Because you might need it one day. I think the sickness is not just hoarding. It's also the disposable society that we live in, where things are manufactured to be thrown away. Everything is balance, and hoarding is one side, where disposable is the other.
i am a hoarder, it is ruining my life and i am only 21. In my city, sydney australia i cant afford any help and I have been rejected by over 20 mental health places because they are only funded to help hoarders over 65. people who have already lived my life twice, im so scared ill h=make it to 65 and still be like this.
Hi there, I'm so sorry you are suffering. Are you able to afford therapy?
Trent McGobble
Get self help books, watch helpful videos. Think what traumatic event may have triggered the problem. Maybe organise a free support group, without age limits. People dealing with the same issues may have some helpful things to say. At least they are a lot less likely to judge you. Maybe there are professionals willing to donate a little of their precious time??
Jennifer is truly a good person with levels of empathy I aspire to connect with.
It never occurred to be to think ill of hoarders! Obviously something's going on they can't get a handle on. We need more compassion all the way around.
You are so wonderful! I know God sent you to speak to everyone! What you said about the brain makes sense. I was wondering, could you explain what type of therapy actually works for hoarders so we don’t keep going back and repeating the same mess over again?! PLEASE let us know, I have been to many therapists and nothing is helping!
Hi, I realise you probably wanted the speaker of this video to answer, but I wanted to reach out and recommend the Psychological healing center. Check out Dr JUDY Wtf. here on youtube..I've been talking to one of their therapists, and it goes back to childhood or the root cause of why people are struggling in the present.
Take care,
Nicolle
@Jean MacLean I saw a really interesting discussion about ptsd therapy these Dr.s in Chicago are doing. It was on Hot Boxin with Mike Tyson & he was interviewing Tony ....? the life guru guy. You can find it. It sounded very promising! You may not think you have ptsd but look into it!
Hotboxin' with Mike Tyson: Tony Robbins Episode 38
So glad this message was shared. Valuable!!
I choose ... compassion🌺
Thank you for this.
I was raised by an alcoholic mother. As her alcoholism escalated, the hoarding did also... they are both addictions I believe. Both will leave the person alone and isolated. I cannot separate out the greed and selfishness of hoarders, I’ve lived it.
Barbara D'Ascenzo
Hoarders are not greedy, not at all. They have real reasons and believe systems, even if does not make sense to the world. They may feel that they can have no control over any other aspect of their life, or something like that. They may think they will need their stuff, or they may just be too overwelmed to organize. Whatever the reason. Disrespect just agravates it, and very much so.
Not every hoarder is your mother.