I constantly have regret cringe. I find myself thinking about and reliving the really bad, hurtful things I’ve said or done. Especially past relationships. I keep telling myself that it’s in the past, that they are life lessons and that I can do better.
The thing that I keep telling myself to overcome this is, "The best way to own the responsibility for our past mistake is to become a better person and to never let that mistake happen again." It works sometimes, but sometimes I still keep ruminating about it because deep down I know I'm still a horrible person for doing those actions.
This doesn’t even tough the sides of the complexity that exists. Stay well clear from soundbite quotes that sound good. And grind and make nuanced observations and distinctions from experience yourself
Old sick misogynist Nazi bastard J Peterson kissing the Orbanus hard for 50 million HUF: "my message to Hungarians: Do not rebel against your great Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian race"
This is me. Someone is actually, finally talking to me. I’m not ashamed that hearing him say exactly what I’m going through made me choke up. My memories go all the way back to high school. I am bipolar and I will catch myself cringing thinking of all the bad things that have happened to me. The good far outweigh the bad but are all that seem to be popping in my head.
I've found that recognozing that the good outweighs the bad is the best medicine. When I feel down, I go to bed telling myself what I did well in the last days, or in the past. I sleep extremely well after that. It helps a LOT.
One thing that helps is to change your regret into gratitude- I have a hard time forgiving myself and relive the “what if” and “if only” scenarios but when I look at my past with more compassion love and understanding it turns into some forgiveness and love and mercy - it helps me to see that even though I can’t go back and change that choice that I can be grateful for the lessons that it’s helped me to learn and the person it’s shaping me into.
Old sick misogynist Nazi bastard J Peterson kissing the Orbanus hard for 50 million HUF: "my message to Hungarians: Do not rebel against your great Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian race"
The Elephant Rope (Belief) A gentleman was walking through an elephant camp, and he spotted that the elephants weren’t being kept in cages or held by the use of chains. All that was holding them back from escaping the camp, was a small piece of rope tied to one of their legs. As the man gazed upon the elephants, he was completely confused as to why the elephants didn’t just use their strength to break the rope and escape the camp. They could easily have done so, but instead, they didn’t try to at all. Curious and wanting to know the answer, he asked a trainer nearby why the elephants were just standing there and never tried to escape. The trainer replied: “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”
Yep, very appropriate. "Conditioned" is the key word to that story. For many it is not just believing they can't, it is they just don't want or dare to. Why escape to the unknown forest and have to fend for yourself when you have the certainty and familiarity of the camp/plantation?
I really love the comments and after reading most of the comments tears came through my eyes. I feel I'm not only the one who has suffered from unpleasant memories of the past but also now learning from the past and healing the past. Thank you so much Jordan Peterson and may God bless you and all those wounded souls. Great respect and love to You from India.
One thing about growing up in the 90’s was you didn’t have the ability to search your phone and find people who were having similar problems. Here people give advice and maybe get a different perspective. I think that’s good for young people today. And everyone else too.
It's a double blade sword tho, if you're not careful you can fall into a negativity circle within online communities where people feed each other's negative/unhealthy habits or beliefs. And also the immediate access to other people's "lifestyles" on social media can create a warped conception of reality, where all we can see is the positive but phony appearances people share on their IG and Facebook and whatnot. Just as in real life one needs to be careful where and with who we interact online.
If you attended college or university you would realize Peterson's rhetoric is mostly smoke and mirrors. He conflates, shifts in and out of focus on topics to blur out holes in logic and consistency. He's quite embarrassing quite frankly. He caters to fools who find him just complicated and understandable enough to flatter their own sense of intelligence. Intellectual snake oil.
J Peterson , the old sick misogynist Nazi bastard kissing the Orbanus hard for 50 million HUF: "my message to Hungarians: Do not rebel against your great Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian race"
I was an eckhart tolle fan 10 years back, followed his meditation practices and his method of staying in the now, but ive realised i had forgotten how to plan for the future.. which jordan peterson has helped me in.. even though eckhart foes mention that you may plan the future while being rooted in the now, its hard to follow practically. The future has its own power.
J Peterson , the old sick misogynist Nazi bastard kissing the Orbanus hard for 50 million HUF: "my message to Hungarians: Do not rebel against your great Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian race"
Jordan Peterson's lectures helped me become a better adult. His advice is something I needed throughout my life. Its a shame I couldn't get this advice from home but having it now helps me become a better person.
The day i discovered that someone called jordan peterson exists, is the day i actually started getting my act together, ive failed and succeeded and fine tuned the efforts but i was really on a downward spiral. Im so thankful for finding him too!
@@RomyaRana that’s awesome, I know what you mean I was in the same position and it’s tragic that there are people that are trying to discredit him because they don’t agree with him when he’s helped so many people.
J Peterson , the old sick misogynist Nazi bastard kissing the Orbanus hard for 50 million HUF: "my message to Hungarians: Do not rebel against your great Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian race"
I’ve lost friends, relationships, jobs, opportunities . … due to anger and low self-worth. I live with regrets .. but life is a nine-inning game. As long as you’re breathing there is a chance to smile and experience better times ahead.
I'm 50. I find myself dwelling, thinking hard about things, and reliving the darkest parts of my life. More and more, I find myself thinking of these bad times. It bothers me. I tell myself I'm living in the now and to stop obsessing over things that can't be changed. Half an hour later, I unconsciously find my self in the past again. I go as far back as childhood. Frustrating
I'll be 50 next month and already dwelling. Hardest thing since 43, is forgiving myself for a mistake I made which hurt my kids. Indirectly but regardless it really hurt them! I didn't realize it. It was MY mistake, my consequences, my responsibility to make it right...which I did. But since, they never looked at me the same. They don't look at the great moments of their childhood, all the great memories, etc Just that mistake. And yes, it's thrown at me at times of disagreements. Heart wrenching to say the least.
@K Hylton . . . .I'm not a Christian. But, I've spent many nights staring at the ceiling pondering the word repentance. Christians say confess your sins to god, dust your hands off, and walk away forgiven. All good. That's not repentance. True repentance is being truly sorry. (Which we know you are) And carrying around that unshakable guilt for life. And never repeating the same mistake. True repentance, you can never walk away from because you are a good soul. I suffer the same guilt. ❤
“Sometimes it’s better to learn than insist on being right because it’s better for the future.” What an amazing comment.!!!!! I am healed just by listening to this video over something that’s been bothering me for three months, God Bless You JP.
Many painful life experiences are the direct result of being abused in several ways, bullied, cheated, and so on from OTHER people. People are the problem. Choose your friends and acquaintances carefully. Discard those who would be mean spirited…and remember, don’t be too nice…
If you continue to live as a victim “people hurt you” “don’t trust anyone”, then that is the world you will experience. You will continue to create experiences of people hurting you. You are the common denominator. It’s not “other people” it’s how you view people.
@@sarasayshi ……it is not that one should view themselves as a ‘victim’. Not sure where you got that from. ‘Other people’ meaning someone else…..lol It is how we view people. If we blindly go about trusting too much, we get burnt. Experiences are real and important to learn from them…..
Just turned 23 and honestly I've been really struggling with coming to terms with a lot of things, one of those being too attached to memories and regrets of things I didn't do but should have done. This video has helped me some.
23 lol. You have your whole life ahead of you!! Do NOT end up like me with massive regrets at age 48 for screwing your life up completely. I would give ANYTHING to be able to go back to being 23.
I don't so much have regrets about things I wish I had done differently, as much as the fact that my memory is excellent, and I always remember the various sleights and statements and actions by others that I knew were B-S at the time, and so there are just lots of bad memories. Well, I do wish I had stood up and walked out a few times back in Ivy League grad school, when we were forced to be a captive audience. On the positive side, though, all these things help me now to cement my present outlook and personality, backed by lots of experience and good reasons.
I had a very traumatized upbringing with 8 other siblings. We suffered so much together. I have been on a path of healing and freedom from all of that pain and trauma. Rebuilding my thought process and reaction to life around. For most of my life, I always felt like I had to find something/place?? Seeking to fill something in me. Never apart of the people or church family around me. FINALLY understand that was past emotion I was dealing with. To allow myself to be in the right now. Bury all of them that hurt me. And it is safe in this place NOW!!! LOVE THIS SO MUCH. People like me need this kinda chats!!! Thank you.
God bless Jordan Peterson and keep him safe and in good health because the human race needs him, to help them , to carve out a better future life on this planet
I’m stuck in high school where I used to feel anxious daily since most of my classmates disliked me at that time. I was threatened all the time that I will be attacked at any second and won’t be able to defend myself+ I was already abused as a child so I didn’t feel safe most of the time and didn’t learn methods of how to defend myself. I lived in this situation for months until I graduated. This happened five years ago and I’m still stuck there. However, I know I’m stronger now. I survived this sh*t without anyone knowing about it even. For anyone going through hard time, you are capable of handling it. Trust me!
@@naseralshamsi9085 He means make friends with other men that will either defend you or help teach you to defend your Self. (hope I got it right) Peace to you dear Naser and Stephen.
Yep! 19 years since I was in Iraq and there has only been a handful of days I didn't talk about it, relate something to it, think about it, or dream about it.
I did and said alot of stupid crap and It still haunts me today. I wish i could go back and change things. I find that cold plunges sets me to the present moment but then after a few days it creeps up on me again.
What I find truly incredible about this man is that he probably has no idea how many people he has helped. He's helped people he has never even met. The world needs more like him.
J Peterson , the old sick misogynist Nazi bastard kissing the Orbanus hard for 50 million HUF: "my message to Hungarians: Do not rebel against your great Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian race"
It’s been years and i can never let go of the past. I hate myself for all of my past, it haunts me there isn’t one day where it hasn’t crossed my mind at least once since. How can you move on from events that are awful? Awful things you’ve done ? Hurt people who didn’t deserve it? I care more and more everyday as if that’s humanly possible. Thing is i can’t be sure i’m willing to live with it forever and i haven’t been able to before leading to awful moments. It’s hard.
Same here.Its been hard living in the past ,it's draining,but thank God for access to others that have experienced the same things.I use to think I was the only one that replayed my screw ups from the past on a daily basis.
I live in the past, which is why I clicked the video, but it’s not the bad memories, it’s the good ones that I’m addicted to. Closest thing to a time machine I have is the music I listened to at that time. So I listen to it close my eyes and imagine myself in that scenario and it works but it fades each time to where I’d do anything to feel it for the first time again. I’m addicted to nostalgia and have been for years.
YES YES! This is me, I was hoping this video was about nostalgia and being addicted to the good memories and wanting to go back again. I wish there was a cure....
I find myself stuck in multiple points in time. Not just cringey moments from my junior years, but, to the point where I feel like it’s still my first day of high school. Current day, I’m 25, I have a great job, I’m married and I’m about to become a dad in 4 months, so on paper, I’m doing okay, but I still feel stuck at 2 or 3 different ages in my past. I remember everything. I remember everyone. I can’t mature. I can’t self control. I am so sure that people only remember me and look at me in a negative way. Constant cringe.
I regret not studying, I regret mingling with the wrong people, I regret not appreciating someone who loved me, I regret being stupid, I regret being a loser, I regret living my young teenage years with no sense of self awareness
And ironically in a few more years, you will regret living in the past with all this regret. You are not the same person you were. Human beings have the capacity, better yet are made for growth
The art of grieving what couldnt be, is keeping me stuck in the past. It is all a matter of accepting not having what i wanted and having it my way. Feeling hurt, anger, frustration,, sadness,, regret.
@@ms.rlsteele351 Excellent question, believe it or not, just asking myself this same question this morning, and I have no idea how to get unstuck. I guess it about seeing the truth in something, and not clouded judgment.
@zoeazsss5035 There is a comment on here by brianmags1999 that depression is from living in the past, anxiety from living in the future, and peace from living in the present. There are so many parts to what we grieve and why we grieve, and there are no right or wrong ways to deal with events that only we fully understand. I just kept it to myself for too long, I guess. And the anger underlying the depression has nowhere to go. It's not about forgiveness because people have to make decisions. But the anger is from not having any choice except to be stuck with someone's decision that changed the trajectory of my life.
@@ms.rlsteele351 Thank you for all that. It is very powerful insight. And probably all true. We each grieve differently I guess. Maybe getting stuck is when you have run out of ways to process the grief.
@@ms.rlsteele351 I totally understand what you’re feeling and going through! I’m sorry that you’re having to deal with somebody’s choices that impact your life! I’m in a similar situation with accepting an end to a relationship without knowing what I did wrong! This is causing my life to become filled with anxiety, depression and stress.
Psychiatry is just drugs. Of course those aren't going to solve the cause of a problem. And if decades of therapy didn't solve what you needed to solve internally but a short video did, then you weren't putting in the work or your therapist(s) wasn't. Or both.
This is wonderful. Suffered from PTSD for years. Although I did a lot of work to reconcile my memeories, it was this one saying I heard from my therapist "It doesn't have to be true anymore"... and that thought has really allowed me to stay in control.
J Peterson , the old sick misogynist Nazi bastard kissing the Orbanus hard for 50 million HUF: "my message to Hungarians: Do not rebel against your great Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian race"
You built the prison. You are the prisoner and the guard. Thats why its so difficult to leave because you have so much pride in what you built but you dont realize it’s torturing you
Ah. I'm definitely stuck in the past, a past of some truly amazing childhood experiences, and I find myself spending a lot of time and resources trying to recreate them in whatever manner possible.
Feel the same way. Had a wonderful childhood which continued thru my teens. So sorry to hear so many others who had a bad past. The only bad part is I’m always looking in the rear view mirror instead of thrust the windshield.
@@manyfeather2knives423 I'm still in decision-making mode about the "rear-view mirror". I'm looking at a relatively early retirement from my career, and I have some choices. One of them is go back to my childhood dream of being a Jazz pianist, and continue where I left off. After all, somewhere in the back of my mind, it's what I wanted all my life. On the other hand, the obvious "through the windshield", "forget the past" type of choice would be to stay in my profession in some consulting capacity, and probably make some decent money. That would allow me to live a more comfortable lifestyle, afford more and nicer traveling options, and whatever else that extra money can buy; but all of that wanes in comparison, when I imagine myself playing the piano somewhere at a jazz club. I think I already know what I will choose :)
I'm stuck in happy times of the past. It's so potent and I know it's illogical. Everyone has moved on. The entire massive group of friends I had has moved on, and yet I'm stuck longing for us all to be together again.
When I think of something negative from the past I try to ask myself “ok but what did I learn?” sooner than later and it seems to stop the snowball in it’s tracks.
As a person who struggles with ptsd, depression, and high functioning anxiety thank u. U have no idea how much my life has changed. But I’m not unique. That’s why other ppl are listening to this in the same way i am. So, thank you
The past is gone. Things will never be the same again. The key is how do you interpret that. Do you long for the past and end up losing your present? Or do you accept it and recognize that leaves an incredible amount of potential for your present and thus your future
@@harmonymillett2970 hm your a woman? I can’t really differentiate the sex of you in the picture but it’s sad your husband left you for a younger lustful female. Harmony I wonder why
@@IsraelCountryCube who cares ! Because he was narcissistic , you don't say that kinds crap to people . You have a wife that chose you ? Probably not .
Going into the field of history, this is absolutely true. We can never know exactly how it was; it's gone forever. But we can reconstruct it somewhat by using our available sources. When looking back at history, you must try to specifically view it through the eyes of the people of the time, which is contrary to how many people do it or want you to do it. You're not trying to find yourself in that person from the past; you're trying to understand what it was like for them. They did not think the same way you think because they did not live in the same world you do. From a psychological/philosophical standpoint, this also applies to your present self and your past self. You're a different person than you were as a child. How different? Completely different. Not even the same person, you could argue. Your personality could change dramatically from month to month, or week to week. It's up to you to decide if that's for the better or the worse.
I lived for so many years in a negative enviroment, with toxic people, that make my life impossible, doing the worst things.. Now I know that I have just to stay focus in what I like and in what is positive for me.. And not let me influence by the others negative things..
You dont realise the effect toxic people have on you until you go away from them and find yourself. So true. Been there too my friend. Trying to build up myself now.
I can't express enough how this video helps me deal with trauma in a way I never did before. I struggled early as an adolescent with being direspected and taken advantage of (whilst being too kind for my own good). This helps me see that I need to know why my bad experiences happened and how, today (10 years later), I can deal with these much more efficiently and in a tremendously better way than before.
J Peterson , the old sick misogynist Nazi bastard kissing the Orbanus hard for 50 million HUF: "my message to Hungarians: Do not rebel against your great Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian race"
As a point of advice, what would be your advice to someone in a similar position of, "an adolescent with being direspected and taken advantage of (whilst being too kind for my own good)"
@@hawksnebula1506 Help others as long as it's not at the cost of your own mental well being. When helping others comes at the cost of your mental or physical health, that is where you draw the line. Also don't go crossing bridges for people who won't walk across the road for you.
Back in 2016 I made the decision to choose my family over my destructive alcoholism. I’ve been sober for 5 years now & I still carry the burden of regret from the past when I pushed my family members away. I hate myself for things I have said & done in the past & even though things were good for years my wife came out & said that for the longest time she has struggled to forgive me for what I put her through. I told her countless times that I am sorry & ashamed of myself for all the hurt & pain I put her through. People struggling with any kind of addiction pleas get help, don’t let it get bad like I did. Yes she was far from perfect & hurt me as well but you don’t want to be the one feeling ashamed & full of regret.
@ Unfortunately my wife left me 2 years ago & have been struggling with my mental health. Still fighting but it’s been a rough road these past two years.
@@Ur2ez4me81 well you still have today to make a step in the right direction broski... And maybe she won't come back even if you give up alcohol but still you should not just do it for yourself but do it to show her you still care and you're truly sorry. Stop being selfish man... it's that mindset that got you in this position in the first place.
Many of these lectures go of in a tangent which is okay accept they don't often seem to return to the original question, i.e. 'What to do it you're stuck in the past', well, I'm now stuck in the 11:18 minutes of this lecture trying to uncover the answer. I respect that there sometimes isn't an answer - but, it would be nice to at least stay on the question.
Living in the past shapes your future. The human mind is so powerful that with lots of practice, ie meditation and affirmations, you can and will reverse trauma and/or a terrible past.
I have finally let go of my bad past and made peace with it i have forgiven...and now i am concentrating on my future and mysself working on mysself and being happy🙏🏻
I am trapped by my past but each day every day I pull my past behind me like a trailer I pull it I will eventually have it even with me and then I will push it forward and I will begin to deal with it this man makes an incredible amount of sense
Did he ever suggest how to fix being stuck in the past? I tuned out about a third of the way in. He has so much to offer. If only he's organize his thoughts and get to the point.
rewatch it, there's no easy way to fix being stuck in the past because you need to process the emotions involved, you will feel hurt and vulnerable, but if you are able to process things in your current state instead of being whatever age and habit back in that memories, then you will know that you are much more capable than you imagined
I just want to not feel this way anymore Dr Peterson 😥😞 I’m so tired of it and it’s physically draining I’m grateful for you and all you do thank you 🙏
This is me. So many traumatic things have happened to me since I was born. I figured that it’s just my life’s path…. I needed to hear this! Thank you Mr Peterson!
Sometimes events from my past creep up on me and it'll stay in my mind for a while. Things like what someone said to me or being attacked physically when I was in school. What I'm learning is from what other people in recovery talk about is letting go and moving ahead. It's like having to recompute the negative into positive things. Still a challenge to me but I'm trying with God's grace and help.
DR. JORDAN PETERSON helped me so much. I came across his lectures on youtube in 2018. Went through hell and back. Now I am over 2 years sober and LIVING. I credit Dr. Peterson for being the first person to have me "look in the mirror". Its been a long bumpy road but I have faith. Thank you DR. JORDAN PETERSON!
I’m definitely stuck in the past and got a lot of anxiety. The worst nightmare I can remember having was: Teachers from my past stole all my stuff and then tried to kill me. When asking others for help they rolled their eyes and saying “they’re teachers they don’t try to kill you”. No one was on my side. I also remember having dreams where I would be crying in the dream and I wake up crying with tears on my face.
JP's advice helped me become a healthier person and get the career I wanted. When the ways I distracted myself from dealing with my past became more destructive and distressing than sorting it out, I began sorting it out and was ready to hear JP and take him seriously.
He speaks the damn truth. Us at the societal bottom are so much more susceptible to negative emotions and anxiety. We have to grow through so much more adversity to survive it. We’re constantly guilt tripped for it- that it’s “your problem, not societies” confidence and power/influence are an effortless formula. Why the rich get richer and the poor become Ill.
What if you desperately miss your past because it was a lot better than the present? I get stuck in the depression of how much fun life was 20 years ago and I can’t get past it.
I understand you. For me it's a weird mix of nostalgia and regret. I don't know what to do with it, so I numb myself in the present, because realizing that good times are gone and bad times happened is unbearable. Both.
Exactly!! People thinks it’s so EASY TO just forget and move on.. Definitely need to make changes to move forward but damn this stuff we been through has fucked me up so bad and I need help and want to learn how to deal😢 with
My mum is an angry and bitter person who lives in the past and its affecting her mental health,she doesn't want to mix with others and as I'm a spiritual person I try to reassure that the past is gone and forgotten.
This man is amazing! Healing. Shame has been a huge part of my life, guilt. Our minds are SO powerful. We hurt Ourselves a lot longer than anyone else because we need to learn This from Dr. Peterson! Baby steps. We are all God’s children.
Oh... My... God... Everything he's saying is everything I'm experiencing right now... This is scary awesome. I have a thing with ADHD, and he's describing my life 100%
Jordan Peterson,in my humble opinion is an absolute treasure and gift from God to everyone who chooses to actually listen to him long enough to realize how incredibly beneficial it can be for us
Actually, I have a different point of view of this now. I was dealing with panic attacks and depression until I heard a saying "The past is just a thought in the present moment". And I got curios and noticed that the past is actually over, its done. There is always just this present moment, you can't be anywhere else. The only thing you are exeperiencing is a thought in the present moment which creates the past for you, memories are often very fluid. So it is not the past that gives you thought now. It is you that creating that experience again via thought in the PRESENT MOMENT. The same way goes with the future. It is a FACT that the future doesn't exist, that can all agree with. The future has a tendency to NEVER show up. Lets say for example if I worry for tomorrow. It is not tomorrow or the week, month or year that gives me anxiety or worry. It is my own thinking in the present moment that gives me those. Thought creates feeling, always. not feeling creating thought. We are the thinker that creates our own reality. But it is just thoughts, nothing else. Thoughts are not tangible, there are more like fluffy clouds or fluid. So... If we realize that there is only the present moment, the past is over and the future will never show up miracles can happen to your well-being.
Yes, this is exactly the concept I am working hard to practice to help myself. My life us like this, the younger I was the most horrible anxiety I been experiencing because of living in the future with "bad" events/situations that were only in my imagination in the future. The older I was getting the more depression crept into my life because I was living in the past. Now I'm about midlife, so it makes sense why my life is 50% anxiety and 50% depression. I live with one foot in yesterday and the other in tomorrow. I need to start having both feet on the stable and unshakable ground of today. Thank you for your time. Blessings!
@@lanachild7731 Yes i have been there too. Something that hits me hard is alan watts saying "You cant control your thoughts nor your feelings, just sit and watch them.. how they are running along. just relax, let go of the control of trying to figure it out, let it be and you will be free." everything starts to slow down to what IS, when we accept what IS right now even if we are depressed. If we accept that, embrace it it wil pass eventually.
The only problem with the future is if you know you’ll have no money (unless you win the lottery while on SSDI as I am) you know it’s as bleak as you predict.
I’m stuck in 2011-2015. I don’t know how to move on. I’m constantly longing for the past. I was actually happy then. I can’t seem to find happiness now.
I had bad memories with toxic friends and people being jealous of me, and that's where I couldn't live my own life(finding my passion, finding new hobbies, learn new things) I got mental issues, and I felt like I keep looking backwards. It did work by making friends, especially in church or school. I met someone that I can easily understand and can talk to most of the time in church(he goes to the same school as me) as well as talking more with my girlfriend cause of getting one my toxic friends out of my life. Now I'm trying to focus on myself cause it's my priority, but I keep lacking cause I self doubt myself over what happened in the past. I just want to be really free and be focusing on myself and then relationship later. The only thing that need help on. Talking with my friends and all that, I'm good.
Good for you! When people are going nowhere in life, they impede your efforts to self-organize, try to cut your head off so they appear taller, give you bad advice so they can correct you later (no doubt, they will just repeat what YOU told THEM previously, then act like you didn't know these things), ignore them.
I can empathize with your situation. Talking to someone can help release the crazy emotions and help you identify the areas where we make errors. Removing the people who don't serve us well will lead to a much more relief. Investing your energy in yourself and surrounding yourself with a group of people who support you in your goals, hobbies, and passions will only help you to grow. Investing in yourself will help you be a better and stronger person. I wish you the best in life. You have a lot to look forward to. 🙂😀
exactly it's been few months since i started listening to his lectures although English is not my native language, but his words are so well sum up and summarized, as if he lives in our brains. I mean explain my situation better than i can. He Truley knows his work. Truley a Gem .
I feel like the main reason why I'm so stuck in the past is because the past meant a lot more to me than the present does. All the good memories that happened to me were all in the past. I also miss my childhood so deeply. I miss the people i used to see in the past when i was a kid and i can no longer see those people anymore in my present. I've noticed that i even listen to older music from my youth just to remind myself of those good times. I was so naive back then and i never even soaked in the good moments of my childhood because at the time it was just another day but now looking back, i still do miss it and i wish i could just live more in the present because that's the only way that i can appreciate my life more. I really don't want to always be unhappy in my present life. I want to at least try to move on. I know it'll be hard but it's worth a try.
I can relate with every word. Especially the realization about how naive we were and how we didn’t really soak in how great those moments were at the time. The more I’ve thought about it though, I think one of the reasons that time in our lives was so good, was because we weren’t trying to “soak in the moment”, we just lived in the moment. There was no extra weight about the moment being so substantial, and because of that we were able to more easily get lost in the moment, which is what makes a great moment so enjoyable. Now I strive for moments like those, where I don’t realize how great they are till after, cause it proves that we are still able to have moments that are just as enjoyable as those from our pasts. That it is possible for our present to be our futures “good ole days”. I pray you will be able to as well!! All the love man.
I'm 71 now and my mind is like a filing cabinet. At any given moment, out of the blue, a thought from my past will come to life in my mind. Many if the thoughts are about people who have passed away. Many of my friends, when I was young, passed away at an early age. I've done a lot of different types of things in my life that are cataloged in my filing cabinet, from opening for Fleetwood Mac and other famous bands, to machining parts for the latest (at the time) aircraft coming off the assembly line and driving a church bus, picking up kids for church and painting billboards for 3M Outdoor, Viacom, CBS. So many different experiences in the past that pop up in detail at any given moment without me trying to remember.
Remember and focus on the beautiful things in the past that you cannot change. And do keep the goodness that those moments gave you. For although you can never have any of those moments back, you can choose to understand that you can bring the good with you. These things are yours now, to do with them what you wish. Drop the things that do not serve you. Keep what does.
I’ve got CPTSD among another anxiety disorders and it all stems from childhood. I self sabotage to create space from people. I sometimes blurt out crazy things and people that have known me for years will be shocked. It’s like a belch it out like a normal body reaction. I have a claustrophobia towards physical space as well as relationships. I had a lot of panic attacks after getting engaged and eventually I scared her off so that I would be alone again and then beat myself up for being alone again.
I’m always struggling with my past, I was a terrible person ik im a better person now but as I try to grow I feel like my past is still there haunting me. I’m so sorry to the people I’ve hurt.
I used to be like you. Then I realized people don’t have the same memories you have. I met up with friends from high school 20 years later and my biggest regret was that I ruined the prom limo experience because I broke the bottle of alcohol we were going to get drunk off of. I carried that with me for years about how clumsy and stupid I was. When I asked those people about that event they didn’t even remember. All they remembered was having a good time. My perception was totally off.
@@funkmonster Exactly, I am 29 now and still dwelling about things that happened when I was 10-11 years old. The funny thing is most other adults dont even seem to remember the names of people they went to middle school with. So my head may be the last place were these events actually exist.
I'm still stuck in the 80s and 90s and it sucks sometimes because I feel that thing ware better and more interesting in the past than today and that hurts sometimes.
Lets face the reality of today's world, bloody covid crazy draconian bs masks lockdowns so why not go to a happier time , we need a reprieve from this insane handling of humanity . Be present for sure but give yourself to be ok with reminiscing of a safer fun period in life . Its only negative if you dont face the daily grind of new rules on how to live without being prose uted for dumb arbitrary rules that dont make sense . Its ok to blue pill occasionally. Love from Australia. ✌✊💙😁
Things were better in the 80's and 90's. You are remembering correctly. People are different now, and not for the better. Understanding why they are different and not better is key to finding peace. Jordan Peterson can help you understand those why's as well. I wish you peace my friend.
Came here for relationship advice, left with amazing programming advice and a much clearer mental image on how my brain is working, he's bang on. As soon as I have a obstacle I'm absolutely anxious worried and all, but if I have a clear path, I am happy and the day just goes on smoothly. If I'm having a good day and I come up against a blocker out of no where, I'm angry and fighting to get out of it, rather then taking it easy and figuring it out. I get stressed and angry, and code hastily spitting out as many things as I can think and get even angrier each time it doesn't work! Only inevitably to get around the problem and feel bad because I got so angry, I don't even get to enjoy the high of solving the puzzle. Thanks JP
I’m constantly stuck in the past but not the traumatic times more like the good times . I have constant dreams back in elementary school &’ up when life was fun and okay. certain friends were still alive, I was only a kid .. everything was brighter and life was worth living . Now it’s very dark depressing place . I miss being a kid and I’m only 20..
J Peterson , the old sick misogynist Nazi bastard kissing the Orbanus hard for 50 million HUF: "my message to Hungarians: Do not rebel against your great Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian race"
@@MrNeversweat Sick Old Misogynic Jordan Peterson kissing the Orbanus for 50 million HUF: "my message to Hungarians: Do not rebel against your Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian culturerace"
Same but with high school friends. Can I please ask you for some advice from a female perspective. I was good friends with a girl in our friend group, for 3 years we would hang out and flirt, kiss a few times, but never had it turn into anything. Senior prom comes, I'm an 18 year old guy and too worried about trying to get in a sexual relationship with her that I never ask her to prom as a friend... or at all. We were still kinda friends after, but I thought eventually the world would give me an opportunity to be with her and tell her how I felt but she kept moving on in life, moved states for college. We had a few moments after in college years, especially at a new years party, she invited me to go hiking but I was going on vacation with family, after that we just stopped talking and it hurts me how I never had closure. 4 Years have gone by now, and I'm thinking of texting her, despite how pathetic and embarrassing it will be, seeing how she's doing, that i miss her friendship, and am sorry for not recognizing how much I valued her. Do you think that's a good idea? Would a 23 year old woman even want to hear from me after years apart not talking? Thanks... sorry I know this is an awkward comment to get on youtube but I just needed to type it out for once instead of just thinking it. I've had her on my mind for years, but, this past week I found a gift she gave me and cried for hours thinking of experiences we shared. I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since. I can't tell her this yet obviously but I honestly feel like she was the woman I was supposed to marry I was just too dumb and immature to think clearly in high school, put aside my lust for her, and developed a relationship that didn't have me focused on being physically romantic with her. I thought she was the cutest girl in the world, sweet and caring, yet fierce, passionate, and strong too. I still do. I just hope she's happy and doing well. Again sorry for the rant random stranger 😅 😊
@@matt8847 hi nazi ! Sick Old Misogynic Jordan Peterson kissing the Nazi Terrorbanus hard for 50 million HUF: "my message to Hungarians: Do not rebel against your Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian culturerace"
Some times is amazing when you see people like a farmer in a small town that can easy see life in a peaceful way and then you get to a big city and see lots of people confused .
I am on a path of recovery. So far, I,been able to live clean and sober for around 12 years but no matter how hard I try there are some very bad memories,guilts and traumatic experiencea that I try to let go, forget the past and live again like a new person but I get dragged down by old mindsets, beliefs, fears, social anxiety...it all feels so hard sometimes. I still struggle mentally each and everyday.
Try writing it down on paper....It's amazing what happens if you write down all your fears and worries on paper and look at them on paper...They lose a lot of their power. Be totally honest and write down exactly what is bothering you and why....Is it really true? What is the worst case scenario if it's true? Answer those....and you will feel better.
@@SamuelGriffin thanks brother for reminding me. i,ve been doing that. i write a lot. to be honest , writing them down is my only solace because I have very few or no friends at all to talk about some of the deep rooted fears, guilts, phobias and I think nobody would understand if I shared them in person. life is much better now and I am in a better shape, in better health , much much better in every way. i am thankful to be alive and breathing . Thank you again for commenting. i hope you have a great time ahead.
I had a conversation about forgiveness tonight. I can forgive but I don't have to reconcile and put myself in an unsafe place again. Big difference and I feel good about this boundary.
I think it would make a world of difference if our society promoted helping or reaching out to those we see suffering. It's unfortunate but we often give handcuffs and humiliation to individuals that really just need to know they're not invisible. There's alot of wounded people out there that need to know they still matter.
I used to live in the past. The only way I was able to move forward was to be at peace with my past, forgive all and let go. And the only way to do that, was to confront my past and address it no matter how much it hurt or how uncomfortable it made me feel. Accept what happened, feel the emotions and let it all go! And to help me stay in the present and look forward to the future is I practice self love and self care. I try to learn something new everyday and try better myself everyday by working out, going for a walk, decluttering the house, reading a book, taking time to breathe and enjoy my surroundings and count my blessings 💜💜💜
I know exactly what you mean. I was the same. For me it was a different youtuber who said something so wise, so profound, yet so simple and true: The main problem people have is that they are wrapped up in what happened yesterday, the problems they have now, and things that could go wrong in the future. You only need worry about 1 of those things. People are suffering treble what they need to. The past doesn't exist in reality the way the present does, neither does the future. You only have direct control over what is right in front of you, right now. Potential problems in the future don't exist yet, and problems from the past certainly don't exist right now. Neither should affect you. It's all very obvious stuff right? But that's how real, practical wisdom sounds! Ground-breaking when you hear it first, but painfully obvious 30 seconds later! JP has helped me a lot, and so has Sadhguru. He comes at this 'inner turmoil' stuff from a very different angle, but he is worth listening to as well. Very wise man. Just thought I'd leave that recommendation for you!
@@SajidKhan-pt8nj I came to terms with the fact that I can't change the past & I didn't want my past to live in my present or future as it doesn't belong there. It does no good to keep replaying scenarios of what could of/should of happened. Once you accept what's happened make peace with it and let it go. That way you won't keep thinking about and have feelings of regret, pain, sadness etc. You don't want to be a prisoner of your past. I wish you well on your journey
I hope we can all heal and take with us the parts from our past that we need, not the parts that inhibit us from living our lives in the present! I send my love to everyone attempting this large undertaking.
Life comes at everyone with up’s and downs. In my life I have chosen NOT to have problems, but to have challenges instead. It’s a great accomplishment for me, to take on the challenges and win. I don’t want to beat a problem. I’d rather win a challenge. So essentially, it’s all how you look at it.
I live in the past in many many ways. Miss innocence and fun times of childhood, but can’t forget mistakes I made, or bullies from school. Just can’t shake some traumatic times! 😢
Such a rollercoaster dealing with the past. Forgive them, forgive yourself. Make Smart choices; & the next time Life presents a "test" it's okay to ask questions, whenever you are unsure of the direction your going.❤
I have a lot of regrets during my past relationship. It's been 5 months and I still haven't forgot or moved on. Having a good memory is nice ,but now it feels like a curse. I want the thoughts to stop.
Meditate on Verses from the Bible and Pray to God and think you have a amazing life and you are going to rise up stronger than before and something special going to happen.
I keep overthinking and overthinking all the time and i can't stop thinking about the past, the mistakes I've made are absolutely terrible and i wish i could change it because i want too so badly, I'm now trying to move forward but i can't stop worrying, i have done something that i wish I'd never started in the first place, I'm now facing bad mental health issues that will affect me for a really long time and i just wanna know that everything will be alright because I'm facing panic attacks and anxiety, i really don't know how to go on anymore 😢
I constantly have regret cringe. I find myself thinking about and reliving the really bad, hurtful things I’ve said or done. Especially past relationships. I keep telling myself that it’s in the past, that they are life lessons and that I can do better.
That is the only thing we can do. Been having CPTSD since 2014.
I get this
The thing that I keep telling myself to overcome this is, "The best way to own the responsibility for our past mistake is to become a better person and to never let that mistake happen again." It works sometimes, but sometimes I still keep ruminating about it because deep down I know I'm still a horrible person for doing those actions.
@@givemechoco9753 same happens to me also nowadays
Me too I wish I didn't have to admit it.
Depression comes from living in the past
Anxiety comes from living in the future
Peace comes from living in the present
Generic bollocks
That's why it's called the present. Because it's a gift.
Thanks Brian
This doesn’t even tough the sides of the complexity that exists.
Stay well clear from soundbite quotes that sound good. And grind and make nuanced observations and distinctions from experience yourself
Taoism is the shizzle!!
I went back to school to finish my degree at 40+yrs old thanks to this man!
Me too.
That's amazing. congratulations!
Still. Failed 1st grade. Math
? Welcome to. 4th world brought to. You by the usa/israel empire
Old sick misogynist Nazi bastard J Peterson kissing the Orbanus hard for 50 million HUF:
"my message to Hungarians:
Do not rebel against your great Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian race"
That's courageous.
This is me. Someone is actually, finally talking to me. I’m not ashamed that hearing him say exactly what I’m going through made me choke up. My memories go all the way back to high school. I am bipolar and I will catch myself cringing thinking of all the bad things that have happened to me. The good far outweigh the bad but are all that seem to be popping in my head.
Same
I highly recommend mindfulness meditation. Has helped me very much with my own memories
@@ThatDankCheese Mindfulness and some natural pills to regulate the cortisol. Adrenal and thyroid support.
I've found that recognozing that the good outweighs the bad is the best medicine. When I feel down, I go to bed telling myself what I did well in the last days, or in the past. I sleep extremely well after that. It helps a LOT.
same
This man has helped me through more in my life then I think he can even imagine.
Good to hear Patrick
@LAW Friends! What are those? Pull yourself together, man.
It happens all the time now so it might help to know that it just doesn’t happen to you
If anything Jordan Peterson says helps you brother you are so far worse off than you thought
@LAW if that happened to you,, then those ppl are not your friends
I`m tormented by my past . Every negative experience in my life is rerun like a film over and over .
I thought I was alone.
I think this happens because you don't want to make the same mistakes ans so keep the experiences fresh in your memory. I'm the same way.
Start writing those experiences down on paper
I can only think that that is what hell is like, and I'm in it.
@@easyas314 relatable :(
One thing that helps is to change your regret into gratitude-
I have a hard time forgiving myself and relive the “what if” and “if only” scenarios but when I look at my past with more compassion love and understanding it turns into some forgiveness and love and mercy - it helps me to see that even though I can’t go back and change that choice that I can be grateful for the lessons that it’s helped me to learn and the person it’s shaping me into.
"Regret into gratitude" WOW. You, girlfriend have just changed my thoughts. Thank you so much. Practice makes perfect 💪😎
Wow! Great advice! And simpler and more concise than Jordan’s. Thanks
Let's ask a female God created to create the illusion of creating babies from on small portion of a man what she thinks.
Said no one ever
thanks a lot for this
Old sick misogynist Nazi bastard J Peterson kissing the Orbanus hard for 50 million HUF:
"my message to Hungarians:
Do not rebel against your great Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian race"
The Elephant Rope (Belief)
A gentleman was walking through an elephant camp, and he spotted that the elephants weren’t being kept in cages or held by the use of chains.
All that was holding them back from escaping the camp, was a small piece of rope tied to one of their legs.
As the man gazed upon the elephants, he was completely confused as to why the elephants didn’t just use their strength to break the rope and escape the camp. They could easily have done so, but instead, they didn’t try to at all.
Curious and wanting to know the answer, he asked a trainer nearby why the elephants were just standing there and never tried to escape.
The trainer replied:
“when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”
Wow....Great story.
Sad but TRUE
Yep, very appropriate. "Conditioned" is the key word to that story. For many it is not just believing they can't, it is they just don't want or dare to. Why escape to the unknown forest and have to fend for yourself when you have the certainty and familiarity of the camp/plantation?
Wow great story thanks for sharing 😁
Uh?......hmm......perhaps relevant lol? God bless ya for sharing regardless :)........
I really love the comments and after reading most of the comments tears came through my eyes. I feel I'm not only the one who has suffered from unpleasant memories of the past but also now learning from the past and healing the past. Thank you so much Jordan Peterson and may God bless you and all those wounded souls. Great respect and love to You from India.
❤
We all are human..done many things..
One thing about growing up in the 90’s was you didn’t have the ability to search your phone and find people who were having similar problems. Here people give advice and maybe get a different perspective. I think that’s good for young people today. And everyone else too.
Yesss! 👏🏻👏🏻👍
It's a double blade sword tho, if you're not careful you can fall into a negativity circle within online communities where people feed each other's negative/unhealthy habits or beliefs. And also the immediate access to other people's "lifestyles" on social media can create a warped conception of reality, where all we can see is the positive but phony appearances people share on their IG and Facebook and whatnot.
Just as in real life one needs to be careful where and with who we interact online.
@@JorgeTorrespluspage
Oh no doubt I completely agree. I’m just referring to one positive aspect as I see it.
There's a lot to be said for ignorance is bliss
@liam Anderson me too I’m 19 I only allow men like Jordan B Peterson to change my views because he isn’t a bad man.
One thing that I've always found admirable is Peterson's breadth of vocabulary and the way he articulates concepts. It always clicks perfectly
Thats why he is a professor. A good one :-)
Whoo boy, embarrassing.
I wouldnt call him a good speaker at all,too nervpus and agitated.
If you attended college or university you would realize Peterson's rhetoric is mostly smoke and mirrors. He conflates, shifts in and out of focus on topics to blur out holes in logic and consistency. He's quite embarrassing quite frankly. He caters to fools who find him just complicated and understandable enough to flatter their own sense of intelligence. Intellectual snake oil.
J Peterson , the old sick misogynist Nazi bastard kissing the Orbanus hard for 50 million HUF:
"my message to Hungarians:
Do not rebel against your great Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian race"
At 40+, I finally fulfilled my dream of finishing my degree! Huge thanks to this man.
@50+ still a lot a work 2 do.Congrats 2 your degree…Sincerely.Peace,Love & Light
So happy for you mate.
wow
Well done fella. All the best.
Inspiring bruv thank you for never giving up!
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.” -Eckhart Tolle
I was an eckhart tolle fan 10 years back, followed his meditation practices and his method of staying in the now, but ive realised i had forgotten how to plan for the future.. which jordan peterson has helped me in.. even though eckhart foes mention that you may plan the future while being rooted in the now, its hard to follow practically. The future has its own power.
I you don't plan for the future, you're the grasshopper and not the ant.
J Peterson , the old sick misogynist Nazi bastard kissing the Orbanus hard for 50 million HUF:
"my message to Hungarians:
Do not rebel against your great Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian race"
Jordan Peterson's lectures helped me become a better adult. His advice is something I needed throughout my life. Its a shame I couldn't get this advice from home but having it now helps me become a better person.
The day i discovered that someone called jordan peterson exists, is the day i actually started getting my act together, ive failed and succeeded and fine tuned the efforts but i was really on a downward spiral. Im so thankful for finding him too!
@@RomyaRana that’s awesome, I know what you mean I was in the same position and it’s tragic that there are people that are trying to discredit him because they don’t agree with him when he’s helped so many people.
J Peterson , the old sick misogynist Nazi bastard kissing the Orbanus hard for 50 million HUF:
"my message to Hungarians:
Do not rebel against your great Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian race"
My problem is living in the past with all the good times,ppl that are no longer here etc………as it makes me smile it also makes me cry
Fr..
Same
I think he's just speaking about when it's negative and making you depressed or angry
I’ve lost friends, relationships, jobs, opportunities . … due to anger and low self-worth. I live with regrets .. but life is a nine-inning game. As long as you’re breathing there is a chance to smile and experience better times ahead.
Exactly! Well said.
Yesss! We have another day to do better.
Well if it helps you understand your not alone
Hell yeah! I'm a failure at 50 but I am going to win the 2nd half. GL & HNY bro!
I'm 50. I find myself dwelling, thinking hard about things, and reliving the darkest parts of my life.
More and more, I find myself thinking of these bad times. It bothers me. I tell myself I'm living in the now and to stop obsessing over things that can't be changed.
Half an hour later, I unconsciously find my self in the past again.
I go as far back as childhood.
Frustrating
same
I'll be 50 next month and already dwelling. Hardest thing since 43, is forgiving myself for a mistake I made which hurt my kids. Indirectly but regardless it really hurt them! I didn't realize it. It was MY mistake, my consequences, my responsibility to make it right...which I did. But since, they never looked at me the same. They don't look at the great moments of their childhood, all the great memories, etc Just that mistake. And yes, it's thrown at me at times of disagreements. Heart wrenching to say the least.
@K Hylton . . . .I'm not a Christian. But, I've spent many nights staring at the ceiling pondering the word repentance.
Christians say confess your sins to god, dust your hands off, and walk away forgiven. All good.
That's not repentance.
True repentance is being truly sorry. (Which we know you are)
And carrying around that unshakable guilt for life. And never repeating the same mistake.
True repentance, you can never walk away from because you are a good soul.
I suffer the same guilt.
❤
Same
Same here I'm 65, been this way as long as I can remember
“Sometimes it’s better to learn than insist on being right because it’s better for the future.” What an amazing comment.!!!!! I am healed just by listening to this video over something that’s been bothering me for three months, God Bless You JP.
Many painful life experiences are the direct result of being abused in several ways, bullied, cheated, and so on from OTHER people.
People are the problem.
Choose your friends and acquaintances carefully. Discard those who would be mean spirited…and remember, don’t be too nice…
So true 🥲
If you continue to live as a victim “people hurt you” “don’t trust anyone”, then that is the world you will experience. You will continue to create experiences of people hurting you. You are the common denominator. It’s not “other people” it’s how you view people.
@@sarasayshi ……it is not that one should view themselves as a ‘victim’.
Not sure where you got that from.
‘Other people’ meaning someone else…..lol
It is how we view people. If we blindly go about trusting too much, we get burnt.
Experiences are real and important to learn from them…..
What if there was no choice and the people who scarred you were your own parents and family ?
I have found throughout my life that when your too nice people look on it as a weakness and take advantage of it
Just turned 23 and honestly I've been really struggling with coming to terms with a lot of things, one of those being too attached to memories and regrets of things I didn't do but should have done. This video has helped me some.
Same. Sadly 22-24 is some of the mentally most challenging and confusing years. 😭you’re not alone
No regrets
23 lol. You have your whole life ahead of you!! Do NOT end up like me with massive regrets at age 48 for screwing your life up completely. I would give ANYTHING to be able to go back to being 23.
I don't so much have regrets about things I wish I had done differently, as much as the fact that my memory is excellent, and I always remember the various sleights and statements and actions by others that I knew were B-S at the time, and so there are just lots of bad memories. Well, I do wish I had stood up and walked out a few times back in Ivy League grad school, when we were forced to be a captive audience. On the positive side, though, all these things help me now to cement my present outlook and personality, backed by lots of experience and good reasons.
@@shaunbarnett2972 Thanks for the words of encouragement man! Always helps to get advice from older people
I had a very traumatized upbringing with 8 other siblings. We suffered so much together. I have been on a path of healing and freedom from all of that pain and trauma. Rebuilding my thought process and reaction to life around. For most of my life, I always felt like I had to find something/place?? Seeking to fill something in me. Never apart of the people or church family around me. FINALLY understand that was past emotion I was dealing with. To allow myself to be in the right now. Bury all of them that hurt me. And it is safe in this place NOW!!! LOVE THIS SO MUCH. People like me need this kinda chats!!! Thank you.
God bless Jordan Peterson and keep him safe and in good health because the human race needs him, to help them , to carve out a better future life on this planet
I’m stuck in high school where I used to feel anxious daily since most of my classmates disliked me at that time. I was threatened all the time that I will be attacked at any second and won’t be able to defend myself+ I was already abused as a child so I didn’t feel safe most of the time and didn’t learn methods of how to defend myself. I lived in this situation for months until I graduated. This happened five years ago and I’m still stuck there. However, I know I’m stronger now. I survived this sh*t without anyone knowing about it even. For anyone going through hard time, you are capable of handling it. Trust me!
Nurture relationships that can defend. Thats why they make men.
@@stephengillihan7568 I don’t get you Sir.
Thank you
You are a sweet soul! I love you.
@@naseralshamsi9085 He means make friends with other men that will either defend you or help teach you to defend your Self. (hope I got it right) Peace to you dear Naser and Stephen.
I have PTSD and this makes so much sense!! I've been doing this over and over.
🙌😇man helps lots of people, continues to help me, keep watching keep searching keep learning keep growing keep realizing 💯☦️💪🏽
Jordan Peterson Death's NOT the Problem, It's Complexity ''The DENIAL of DEATH'' ua-cam.com/video/c2N-txTGn9g/v-deo.html
Yep! 19 years since I was in Iraq and there has only been a handful of days I didn't talk about it, relate something to it, think about it, or dream about it.
Prior military?
@@marcmarc4776 thank you for your service. I was two tours, Gulf War. 🇺🇸
I did and said alot of stupid crap and It still haunts me today. I wish i could go back and change things. I find that cold plunges sets me to the present moment but then after a few days it creeps up on me again.
What I find truly incredible about this man is that he probably has no idea how many people he has helped. He's helped people he has never even met. The world needs more like him.
@Myself with out question. He has helped me so much. His teachings aline are priceless.
J Peterson , the old sick misogynist Nazi bastard kissing the Orbanus hard for 50 million HUF:
"my message to Hungarians:
Do not rebel against your great Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian race"
It’s been years and i can never let go of the past. I hate myself for all of my past, it haunts me there isn’t one day where it hasn’t crossed my mind at least once since. How can you move on from events that are awful? Awful things you’ve done ? Hurt people who didn’t deserve it? I care more and more everyday as if that’s humanly possible. Thing is i can’t be sure i’m willing to live with it forever and i haven’t been able to before leading to awful moments. It’s hard.
Regret cringe. I never thought to give it a name, but that's so simple it's brilliant.
hey man, how are you doing now.. im literally struggling with the same problem as you. :((
Same here.Its been hard living in the past ,it's draining,but thank God for access to others that have experienced the same things.I use to think I was the only one that replayed my screw ups from the past on a daily basis.
@@jeanetteclark320 you're not alone.. stay strong ❤❤❤
I am right here with you… I’ll never recover from the mistakes I made
I live in the past, which is why I clicked the video, but it’s not the bad memories, it’s the good ones that I’m addicted to. Closest thing to a time machine I have is the music I listened to at that time. So I listen to it close my eyes and imagine myself in that scenario and it works but it fades each time to where I’d do anything to feel it for the first time again. I’m addicted to nostalgia and have been for years.
YES YES! This is me, I was hoping this video was about nostalgia and being addicted to the good memories and wanting to go back again. I wish there was a cure....
@@mr.mysterious7940 Yeah, there is no cure, just have to deal with it or distract yourself by other means
I find myself stuck in multiple points in time. Not just cringey moments from my junior years, but, to the point where I feel like it’s still my first day of high school. Current day, I’m 25, I have a great job, I’m married and I’m about to become a dad in 4 months, so on paper, I’m doing okay, but I still feel stuck at 2 or 3 different ages in my past. I remember everything. I remember everyone. I can’t mature. I can’t self control. I am so sure that people only remember me and look at me in a negative way. Constant cringe.
I regret not studying, I regret mingling with the wrong people, I regret not appreciating someone who loved me, I regret being stupid, I regret being a loser, I regret living my young teenage years with no sense of self awareness
This is exactly where I'm at in life
And have been for a couple yrs, I'm seeing this as life lesson and thanking Gods word and Jordan P for helping me through even though I'm not there
@@brittanyholt940 be humble. Accept help and follow your concience
@@brittanyholt940 i only regret not studying and having bad friends
And ironically in a few more years, you will regret living in the past with all this regret. You are not the same person you were. Human beings have the capacity, better yet are made for growth
The art of grieving what couldnt be, is keeping me stuck in the past. It is all a matter of accepting not having what i wanted and having it my way. Feeling hurt, anger, frustration,, sadness,, regret.
What, if anything, has helped you to step away from being stuck?
@@ms.rlsteele351 Excellent question, believe it or not, just asking myself this same question this morning, and I have no idea how to get unstuck. I guess it about seeing the truth in something, and not clouded judgment.
@zoeazsss5035 There is a comment on here by brianmags1999 that depression is from living in the past, anxiety from living in the future, and peace from living in the present. There are so many parts to what we grieve and why we grieve, and there are no right or wrong ways to deal with events that only we fully understand. I
just kept it to myself for too long, I guess. And the anger underlying the depression has nowhere to go. It's not about forgiveness because people have to make decisions. But the anger is from not having any choice except to be stuck with someone's decision that changed the trajectory of my life.
@@ms.rlsteele351 Thank you for all that. It is very powerful insight. And probably all true. We each grieve differently I guess. Maybe getting stuck is when you have run out of ways to process the grief.
@@ms.rlsteele351
I totally understand what you’re feeling and going through! I’m sorry that you’re having to deal with somebody’s choices that impact your life!
I’m in a similar situation with accepting an end to a relationship without knowing what I did wrong! This is causing my life to become filled with anxiety, depression and stress.
I love Dr. Peterson. He just enlightened me more in a 5-minute clip than decades of therapy and psychiatry combined.
Psychiatry is just drugs. Of course those aren't going to solve the cause of a problem. And if decades of therapy didn't solve what you needed to solve internally but a short video did, then you weren't putting in the work or your therapist(s) wasn't. Or both.
@@mediocreman2you’re right therapy definitely works but It requires cooperation on both ends
This is wonderful. Suffered from PTSD for years. Although I did a lot of work to reconcile my memeories, it was this one saying I heard from my therapist "It doesn't have to be true anymore"... and that thought has really allowed me to stay in control.
👏
J Peterson , the old sick misogynist Nazi bastard kissing the Orbanus hard for 50 million HUF:
"my message to Hungarians:
Do not rebel against your great Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian race"
Didn't get it can you please explain
It doesn’t exists it’s non existent now. Helps me
Thank you for sharing this
My brother’s suicide and the following months in early 2022. Can’t let it go. My sense of my world being safe was shattered.
I'm very sorry to hear that. I hope you can find a way to heal.
The prison that holds you captive. Has no walls.
You built the prison. You are the prisoner and the guard. Thats why its so difficult to leave because you have so much pride in what you built but you dont realize it’s torturing you
Very insightful
A carton of smokes you're wrong... Signed #463762
Well said
@Evan Hodge Thanks for you sparking retort. You're excused from further participation. lol.
Ah. I'm definitely stuck in the past, a past of some truly amazing childhood experiences, and I find myself spending a lot of time and resources trying to recreate them in whatever manner possible.
Like what? Some people may relate.
@@undefinedvariable8085 I spent much of my childhood studying music. Working to rebuild at least some of it again..
Feel the same way. Had a wonderful childhood which continued thru my teens. So sorry to hear so many others who had a bad past.
The only bad part is I’m always looking in the rear view mirror instead of thrust the windshield.
@@manyfeather2knives423 I'm still in decision-making mode about the "rear-view mirror". I'm looking at a relatively early retirement from my career, and I have some choices. One of them is go back to my childhood dream of being a Jazz pianist, and continue where I left off. After all, somewhere in the back of my mind, it's what I wanted all my life. On the other hand, the obvious "through the windshield", "forget the past" type of choice would be to stay in my profession in some consulting capacity, and probably make some decent money. That would allow me to live a more comfortable lifestyle, afford more and nicer traveling options, and whatever else that extra money can buy; but all of that wanes in comparison, when I imagine myself playing the piano somewhere at a jazz club. I think I already know what I will choose :)
You have to be careful, meaning that some people recreate their childhood again and again because that´s where they were happy and now they don´t
I'm stuck in happy times of the past. It's so potent and I know it's illogical. Everyone has moved on. The entire massive group of friends I had has moved on, and yet I'm stuck longing for us all to be together again.
Exactly. I miss thee few years I felt ok. I torture myself yearning for past.
It's not illogical - it's real. Life used to be fun . everything that mattered back in the 70,S and 80"s is GONE .including our friends and family.
I wish he was my therapist
He is our therapist for free on youtube, which is the amazing thing really.
@@jaysonshaulov8449 amen! Love your comment.
Jordan Peterson Death's NOT the Problem, It's Complexity ''The DENIAL of DEATH'' ua-cam.com/video/c2N-txTGn9g/v-deo.html
When I think of something negative from the past I try to ask myself “ok but what did I learn?” sooner than later and it seems to stop the snowball in it’s tracks.
As a person who struggles with ptsd, depression, and high functioning anxiety thank u. U have no idea how much my life has changed. But I’m not unique. That’s why other ppl are listening to this in the same way i am. So, thank you
The past is gone. Things will never be the same again. The key is how do you interpret that. Do you long for the past and end up losing your present? Or do you accept it and recognize that leaves an incredible amount of potential for your present and thus your future
@@harmonymillett2970 hm your a woman? I can’t really differentiate the sex of you in the picture but it’s sad your husband left you for a younger lustful female. Harmony I wonder why
@@harmonymillett2970 iam beyond sorry you experienced this .
@@IsraelCountryCube who cares ! Because he was narcissistic , you don't say that kinds crap to people . You have a wife that chose you ? Probably not .
Jordan Peterson Death's NOT the Problem, It's Complexity ''The DENIAL of DEATH'' ua-cam.com/video/c2N-txTGn9g/v-deo.html
Going into the field of history, this is absolutely true. We can never know exactly how it was; it's gone forever. But we can reconstruct it somewhat by using our available sources. When looking back at history, you must try to specifically view it through the eyes of the people of the time, which is contrary to how many people do it or want you to do it. You're not trying to find yourself in that person from the past; you're trying to understand what it was like for them. They did not think the same way you think because they did not live in the same world you do.
From a psychological/philosophical standpoint, this also applies to your present self and your past self. You're a different person than you were as a child. How different? Completely different. Not even the same person, you could argue. Your personality could change dramatically from month to month, or week to week. It's up to you to decide if that's for the better or the worse.
I lived for so many years in a negative enviroment, with toxic people, that make my life impossible, doing the worst things..
Now I know that I have just to stay focus in what I like and in what is positive for me.. And not let me influence by the others negative things..
You dont realise the effect toxic people have on you until you go away from them and find yourself. So true. Been there too my friend. Trying to build up myself now.
@@RomyaRana yes that's absolutely true,, it's so strange.. But just keep build ourselves 👍
I can't express enough how this video helps me deal with trauma in a way I never did before. I struggled early as an adolescent with being direspected and taken advantage of (whilst being too kind for my own good). This helps me see that I need to know why my bad experiences happened and how, today (10 years later), I can deal with these much more efficiently and in a tremendously better way than before.
J Peterson , the old sick misogynist Nazi bastard kissing the Orbanus hard for 50 million HUF:
"my message to Hungarians:
Do not rebel against your great Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian race"
As a point of advice, what would be your advice to someone in a similar position of, "an adolescent with being direspected and taken advantage of (whilst being too kind for my own good)"
@@hawksnebula1506 Help others as long as it's not at the cost of your own mental well being. When helping others comes at the cost of your mental or physical health, that is where you draw the line. Also don't go crossing bridges for people who won't walk across the road for you.
Back in 2016 I made the decision to choose my family over my destructive alcoholism. I’ve been sober for 5 years now & I still carry the burden of regret from the past when I pushed my family members away. I hate myself for things I have said & done in the past & even though things were good for years my wife came out & said that for the longest time she has struggled to forgive me for what I put her through. I told her countless times that I am sorry & ashamed of myself for all the hurt & pain I put her through.
People struggling with any kind of addiction pleas get help, don’t let it get bad like I did. Yes she was far from perfect & hurt me as well but you don’t want to be the one feeling ashamed & full of regret.
That's awesome. Great to read your message of your progress. I hope you're still doing good
@ Unfortunately my wife left me 2 years ago & have been struggling with my mental health. Still fighting but it’s been a rough road these past two years.
@@Ur2ez4me81 well you still have today to make a step in the right direction broski... And maybe she won't come back even if you give up alcohol but still you should not just do it for yourself but do it to show her you still care and you're truly sorry. Stop being selfish man... it's that mindset that got you in this position in the first place.
What a gentleman !!!
I admire him a lot. The way he walks, talks, answers, debate, his gestures, his dressing sense are all sterling.
Many of these lectures go of in a tangent which is okay accept they don't often seem to return to the original question, i.e. 'What to do it you're stuck in the past', well, I'm now stuck in the 11:18 minutes of this lecture trying to uncover the answer. I respect that there sometimes isn't an answer - but, it would be nice to at least stay on the question.
He told you what is happening. Once you understand the reality of what is happening you can make a plan. Then it is up to you.
I agree.
No kidding, what a rambling rant. I learned nothing.
Living in the past shapes your future.
The human mind is so powerful that with lots of practice, ie meditation and affirmations, you can and will reverse trauma and/or a terrible past.
I have finally let go of my bad past and made peace with it i have forgiven...and now i am concentrating on my future and mysself working on mysself and being happy🙏🏻
God bless and good luck from Diane 🙏🙏
@@dianeamaral8151 thankyou, god bless you as well❤️🙏
@@dianeamaral8151 thankyou, god bless you as well❤️🙏...from Damend❤️🙏
It's September 2022 and im stuck in 2019-2020. Been like this for months and this thing makes me goes from happy to sad real quick
I am trapped by my past but each day every day I pull my past behind me like a trailer I pull it I will eventually have it even with me and then I will push it forward and I will begin to deal with it this man makes an incredible amount of sense
Did he ever suggest how to fix being stuck in the past? I tuned out about a third of the way in. He has so much to offer. If only he's organize his thoughts and get to the point.
same here
rewatch it, there's no easy way to fix being stuck in the past because you need to process the emotions involved, you will feel hurt and vulnerable, but if you are able to process things in your current state instead of being whatever age and habit back in that memories, then you will know that you are much more capable than you imagined
The answer is showtime after 11pm. You’re welcome
This man has helped me through life in ways I think is impossible for someone to be able to ever help me.
I just want to not feel this way anymore Dr Peterson 😥😞 I’m so tired of it and it’s physically draining I’m grateful for you and all you do thank you 🙏
Someone once said that regret is an appalling waste of energy... they were right.
The prize of this world is finding peace, you hurd, much respect everyone, 🇨🇦💪🏻🇯🇲
This is me. So many traumatic things have happened to me since I was born. I figured that it’s just my life’s path…. I needed to hear this! Thank you Mr Peterson!
I'd say the same. Good luck with your recovery!
Sometimes events from my past creep up on me and it'll stay in my mind for a while. Things like what someone said to me or being attacked physically when I was in school. What I'm learning is from what other people in recovery talk about is letting go and moving ahead. It's like having to recompute the negative into positive things. Still a challenge to me but I'm trying with God's grace and help.
"recompute the negative to positive". that's the gist of it. But doing it, in the moment it comes up - isn't so easy. HOW to make it stick?
DR. JORDAN PETERSON helped me so much. I came across his lectures on youtube in 2018. Went through hell and back. Now I am over 2 years sober and LIVING. I credit Dr. Peterson for being the first person to have me "look in the mirror". Its been a long bumpy road but I have faith. Thank you DR. JORDAN PETERSON!
I’m definitely stuck in the past and got a lot of anxiety. The worst nightmare I can remember having was: Teachers from my past stole all my stuff and then tried to kill me. When asking others for help they rolled their eyes and saying “they’re teachers they don’t try to kill you”. No one was on my side. I also remember having dreams where I would be crying in the dream and I wake up crying with tears on my face.
@SecaKaizen thank you. I am slowly getting better.
EmotionalyFreedomTechnque
This EFT works...clearance out our past issues.
This man is a national treasure.
International*
Jordan Peterson Death's NOT the Problem, It's Complexity ''The DENIAL of DEATH'' ua-cam.com/video/c2N-txTGn9g/v-deo.html
More like the embarrassment since he's a mysgynist
His voice gets on my nerves!
Canada’s National Treasure. Born and raised in Alberta.
JP's advice helped me become a healthier person and get the career I wanted. When the ways I distracted myself from dealing with my past became more destructive and distressing than sorting it out, I began sorting it out and was ready to hear JP and take him seriously.
He speaks the damn truth. Us at the societal bottom are so much more susceptible to negative emotions and anxiety. We have to grow through so much more adversity to survive it. We’re constantly guilt tripped for it- that it’s “your problem, not societies” confidence and power/influence are an effortless formula. Why the rich get richer and the poor become Ill.
The past is done and gone,no point in holding grudges for something that has happened,you can't turn the clock back.
What if you desperately miss your past because it was a lot better than the present? I get stuck in the depression of how much fun life was 20 years ago and I can’t get past it.
I struggle with this too..
The only think better were your thoughts and your actions. (Something u can change tomorrow)
man I know exactly what you mean
I understand you. For me it's a weird mix of nostalgia and regret. I don't know what to do with it, so I numb myself in the present, because realizing that good times are gone and bad times happened is unbearable. Both.
Exactly!! People thinks it’s so EASY TO just forget and move on.. Definitely need to make changes to move forward but damn this stuff we been through has fucked me up so bad and I need help and want to learn how to deal😢 with
Jordan Peterson is a gift from God. I'll never get tired of listening to his wisdom.
You are right. Completely. And I listen to him when I cannot cope. Afterwards, I cope.
Well, you are so right, almost every spech he does I see him bem stack ! Havy.wait to make his pont. Now o can just see ! And be sensitive for him
My mum is an angry and bitter person who lives in the past and its affecting her mental health,she doesn't want to mix with others and as I'm a spiritual person I try to reassure that the past is gone and forgotten.
This man is amazing! Healing. Shame has been a huge part of my life, guilt. Our minds are SO powerful. We hurt Ourselves a lot longer than anyone else because we need to learn This from Dr. Peterson! Baby steps. We are all God’s children.
I like how Peterson gives explanations and mental exercises to resolve the past.
Oh... My... God... Everything he's saying is everything I'm experiencing right now... This is scary awesome. I have a thing with ADHD, and he's describing my life 100%
ADHD is NOT YOU!
It's merely an obstacle.
Jordan Peterson Death's NOT the Problem, It's Complexity ''The DENIAL of DEATH'' ua-cam.com/video/c2N-txTGn9g/v-deo.html
Jordan Peterson,in my humble opinion is an absolute treasure and gift from God to everyone who chooses to actually listen to him long enough to realize how incredibly beneficial it can be for us
Actually, I have a different point of view of this now. I was dealing with panic attacks and depression until I heard a saying "The past is just a thought in the present moment". And I got curios and noticed that the past is actually over, its done. There is always just this present moment, you can't be anywhere else. The only thing you are exeperiencing is a thought in the present moment which creates the past for you, memories are often very fluid. So it is not the past that gives you thought now. It is you that creating that experience again via thought in the PRESENT MOMENT. The same way goes with the future. It is a FACT that the future doesn't exist, that can all agree with. The future has a tendency to NEVER show up. Lets say for example if I worry for tomorrow. It is not tomorrow or the week, month or year that gives me anxiety or worry. It is my own thinking in the present moment that gives me those. Thought creates feeling, always. not feeling creating thought. We are the thinker that creates our own reality. But it is just thoughts, nothing else. Thoughts are not tangible, there are more like fluffy clouds or fluid. So... If we realize that there is only the present moment, the past is over and the future will never show up miracles can happen to your well-being.
Thank you
Eckhart Tolle the power off now
Yes, this is exactly the concept I am working hard to practice to help myself. My life us like this, the younger I was the most horrible anxiety I been experiencing because of living in the future with "bad" events/situations that were only in my imagination in the future. The older I was getting the more depression crept into my life because I was living in the past. Now I'm about midlife, so it makes sense why my life is 50% anxiety and 50% depression. I live with one foot in yesterday and the other in tomorrow. I need to start having both feet on the stable and unshakable ground of today. Thank you for your time. Blessings!
@@lanachild7731 Yes i have been there too. Something that hits me hard is alan watts saying "You cant control your thoughts nor your feelings, just sit and watch them.. how they are running along. just relax, let go of the control of trying to figure it out, let it be and you will be free." everything starts to slow down to what IS, when we accept what IS right now even if we are depressed. If we accept that, embrace it it wil pass eventually.
The only problem with the future is if you know you’ll have no money (unless you win the lottery while on SSDI as I am) you know it’s as bleak as you predict.
I’m stuck in 2011-2015. I don’t know how to move on. I’m constantly longing for the past. I was actually happy then. I can’t seem to find happiness now.
DR. JORDAN PETERSON HAS AN EXTREMELY IN- DEPTH UNDERSTANDING OF THE HUMAN PSYCHE
I had bad memories with toxic friends and people being jealous of me, and that's where I couldn't live my own life(finding my passion, finding new hobbies, learn new things) I got mental issues, and I felt like I keep looking backwards. It did work by making friends, especially in church or school. I met someone that I can easily understand and can talk to most of the time in church(he goes to the same school as me) as well as talking more with my girlfriend cause of getting one my toxic friends out of my life. Now I'm trying to focus on myself cause it's my priority, but I keep lacking cause I self doubt myself over what happened in the past. I just want to be really free and be focusing on myself and then relationship later. The only thing that need help on. Talking with my friends and all that, I'm good.
Good for you! When people are going nowhere in life, they impede your efforts to self-organize, try to cut your head off so they appear taller, give you bad advice so they can correct you later (no doubt, they will just repeat what YOU told THEM previously, then act like you didn't know these things), ignore them.
I can empathize with your situation. Talking to someone can help release the crazy emotions and help you identify the areas where we make errors. Removing the people who don't serve us well will lead to a much more relief. Investing your energy in yourself and surrounding yourself with a group of people who support you in your goals, hobbies, and passions will only help you to grow. Investing in yourself will help you be a better and stronger person. I wish you the best in life. You have a lot to look forward to. 🙂😀
@@tdona77 thank you
Jordan Peterson Death's NOT the Problem, It's Complexity ''The DENIAL of DEATH'' ua-cam.com/video/c2N-txTGn9g/v-deo.html
An old baseball coach told me some very simple words of encouragement , keep your head up ! So keep your head up , just be proud of yourself !
Dr. Peterson, I hope you know how many lives you have saved. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
exactly
it's been few months since i started listening to his lectures although English is not my native language, but his words are so well sum up and summarized, as if he lives in our brains.
I mean explain my situation better than i can. He Truley knows his work. Truley a Gem .
I'm stuck. When I close my to sleep, I'm engulfed with past regrets to the point I have to open my eyes to come back here and to. It's exhausting.
I feel like the main reason why I'm so stuck in the past is because the past meant a lot more to me than the present does. All the good memories that happened to me were all in the past. I also miss my childhood so deeply. I miss the people i used to see in the past when i was a kid and i can no longer see those people anymore in my present. I've noticed that i even listen to older music from my youth just to remind myself of those good times. I was so naive back then and i never even soaked in the good moments of my childhood because at the time it was just another day but now looking back, i still do miss it and i wish i could just live more in the present because that's the only way that i can appreciate my life more. I really don't want to always be unhappy in my present life. I want to at least try to move on. I know it'll be hard but it's worth a try.
I can relate with every word. Especially the realization about how naive we were and how we didn’t really soak in how great those moments were at the time. The more I’ve thought about it though, I think one of the reasons that time in our lives was so good, was because we weren’t trying to “soak in the moment”, we just lived in the moment. There was no extra weight about the moment being so substantial, and because of that we were able to more easily get lost in the moment, which is what makes a great moment so enjoyable. Now I strive for moments like those, where I don’t realize how great they are till after, cause it proves that we are still able to have moments that are just as enjoyable as those from our pasts. That it is possible for our present to be our futures “good ole days”. I pray you will be able to as well!! All the love man.
I'm 71 now and my mind is like a filing cabinet. At any given moment, out of the blue, a thought from my past will come to life in my mind. Many if the thoughts are about people who have passed away. Many of my friends, when I was young, passed away at an early age.
I've done a lot of different types of things in my life that are cataloged in my filing cabinet, from opening for Fleetwood Mac and other famous bands, to machining parts for the latest (at the time) aircraft coming off the assembly line and driving a church bus, picking up kids for church and painting billboards for 3M Outdoor, Viacom, CBS. So many different experiences in the past that pop up in detail at any given moment without me trying to remember.
At last! A video of a speech without the bloody background music. Thanks.
A difficult up bringing can affect one so much, sometimes one can never fully move on!
Where I'm at even at 64, and later many bad times. Really stuck. This helps.
Remember and focus on the beautiful things in the past that you cannot change. And do keep the goodness that those moments gave you. For although you can never have any of those moments back, you can choose to understand that you can bring the good with you. These things are yours now, to do with them what you wish. Drop the things that do not serve you. Keep what does.
I’ve got CPTSD among another anxiety disorders and it all stems from childhood. I self sabotage to create space from people. I sometimes blurt out crazy things and people that have known me for years will be shocked. It’s like a belch it out like a normal body reaction. I have a claustrophobia towards physical space as well as relationships. I had a lot of panic attacks after getting engaged and eventually I scared her off so that I would be alone again and then beat myself up for being alone again.
I’m always struggling with my past, I was a terrible person ik im a better person now but as I try to grow I feel like my past is still there haunting me. I’m so sorry to the people I’ve hurt.
Look into ocd
I’m stuck in middle school, 2005-9 and 2014. Constant repetition thoughts of these three life periods. Full of regret and embarrassment.
I used to be like you. Then I realized people don’t have the same memories you have. I met up with friends from high school 20 years later and my biggest regret was that I ruined the prom limo experience because I broke the bottle of alcohol we were going to get drunk off of. I carried that with me for years about how clumsy and stupid I was. When I asked those people about that event they didn’t even remember. All they remembered was having a good time.
My perception was totally off.
Jordan Peterson Death's NOT the Problem, It's Complexity ''The DENIAL of DEATH'' ua-cam.com/video/c2N-txTGn9g/v-deo.html
@@funkmonster Exactly, I am 29 now and still dwelling about things that happened when I was 10-11 years old. The funny thing is most other adults dont even seem to remember the names of people they went to middle school with. So my head may be the last place were these events actually exist.
@@funkmonster lmfao you are a funny guy you
I'm still stuck in the 80s and 90s and it sucks sometimes because I feel that thing ware better and more interesting in the past than today and that hurts sometimes.
I understand
Lets face the reality of today's world, bloody covid crazy draconian bs masks lockdowns so why not go to a happier time , we need a reprieve from this insane handling of humanity . Be present for sure but give yourself to be ok with reminiscing of a safer fun period in life . Its only negative if you dont face the daily grind of new rules on how to live without being prose uted for dumb arbitrary rules that dont make sense . Its ok to blue pill occasionally. Love from Australia. ✌✊💙😁
worldly music is designed to keep you stuck in the past too
Things were better in the 80's and 90's. You are remembering correctly. People are different now, and not for the better. Understanding why they are different and not better is key to finding peace. Jordan Peterson can help you understand those why's as well. I wish you peace my friend.
@@samrichardson441 real shit
Came here for relationship advice, left with amazing programming advice and a much clearer mental image on how my brain is working, he's bang on. As soon as I have a obstacle I'm absolutely anxious worried and all, but if I have a clear path, I am happy and the day just goes on smoothly. If I'm having a good day and I come up against a blocker out of no where, I'm angry and fighting to get out of it, rather then taking it easy and figuring it out. I get stressed and angry, and code hastily spitting out as many things as I can think and get even angrier each time it doesn't work! Only inevitably to get around the problem and feel bad because I got so angry, I don't even get to enjoy the high of solving the puzzle. Thanks JP
Absolutely love this man and his incredible spirit!
I’m constantly stuck in the past but not the traumatic times more like the good times . I have constant dreams back in elementary school &’ up when life was fun and okay. certain friends were still alive, I was only a kid .. everything was brighter and life was worth living . Now it’s very dark depressing place . I miss being a kid and I’m only 20..
J Peterson , the old sick misogynist Nazi bastard kissing the Orbanus hard for 50 million HUF:
"my message to Hungarians:
Do not rebel against your great Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian race"
40 and feel the same
@@MrNeversweat Sick Old Misogynic Jordan Peterson kissing the Orbanus for 50 million HUF:
"my message to Hungarians:
Do not rebel against your Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian culturerace"
Same but with high school friends. Can I please ask you for some advice from a female perspective.
I was good friends with a girl in our friend group, for 3 years we would hang out and flirt, kiss a few times, but never had it turn into anything. Senior prom comes, I'm an 18 year old guy and too worried about trying to get in a sexual relationship with her that I never ask her to prom as a friend... or at all. We were still kinda friends after, but I thought eventually the world would give me an opportunity to be with her and tell her how I felt but she kept moving on in life, moved states for college. We had a few moments after in college years, especially at a new years party, she invited me to go hiking but I was going on vacation with family, after that we just stopped talking and it hurts me how I never had closure.
4 Years have gone by now, and I'm thinking of texting her, despite how pathetic and embarrassing it will be, seeing how she's doing, that i miss her friendship, and am sorry for not recognizing how much I valued her.
Do you think that's a good idea? Would a 23 year old woman even want to hear from me after years apart not talking?
Thanks... sorry I know this is an awkward comment to get on youtube but I just needed to type it out for once instead of just thinking it. I've had her on my mind for years, but, this past week I found a gift she gave me and cried for hours thinking of experiences we shared. I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since. I can't tell her this yet obviously but I honestly feel like she was the woman I was supposed to marry I was just too dumb and immature to think clearly in high school, put aside my lust for her, and developed a relationship that didn't have me focused on being physically romantic with her. I thought she was the cutest girl in the world, sweet and caring, yet fierce, passionate, and strong too. I still do. I just hope she's happy and doing well.
Again sorry for the rant random stranger 😅 😊
@@matt8847 hi nazi ! Sick Old Misogynic Jordan Peterson kissing the Nazi Terrorbanus hard for 50 million HUF:
"my message to Hungarians:
Do not rebel against your Führer! What your prime minister is trying to do is to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian culturerace"
Some times is amazing when you see people like a farmer in a small town that can easy see life in a peaceful way and then you get to a big city and see lots of people confused .
Sometimes your past is all you have left
I am on a path of recovery. So far, I,been able to live clean and sober for around 12 years but no matter how hard I try there are some very bad memories,guilts and traumatic experiencea that I try to let go, forget the past and live again like a new person but I get dragged down by old mindsets, beliefs, fears, social anxiety...it all feels so hard sometimes. I still struggle mentally each and everyday.
Try writing it down on paper....It's amazing what happens if you write down all your fears and worries on paper and look at them on paper...They lose a lot of their power. Be totally honest and write down exactly what is bothering you and why....Is it really true? What is the worst case scenario if it's true? Answer those....and you will feel better.
@@SamuelGriffin thanks brother for reminding me. i,ve been doing that. i write a lot. to be honest , writing them down is my only solace because I have very few or no friends at all to talk about some of the deep rooted fears, guilts, phobias and I think nobody would understand if I shared them in person. life is much better now and I am in a better shape, in better health , much much better in every way. i am thankful to be alive and breathing . Thank you again for commenting. i hope you have a great time ahead.
@ASHER PIKE’S GOLDENMORAL CINEMAS thanks mate, music is what keeps me alive and keep going. Have a good day🤘
You're not alone my friend, 12 years and counting...betrayed in my marriage.
@@memphis03 keep coming back man🤘
I had a conversation about forgiveness tonight. I can forgive but I don't have to reconcile and put myself in an unsafe place again. Big difference and I feel good about this boundary.
I think it would make a world of difference if our society promoted helping or reaching out to those we see suffering.
It's unfortunate but we often give handcuffs and humiliation to individuals that really just need to know they're not invisible.
There's alot of wounded people out there that need to know they still matter.
I used to live in the past. The only way I was able to move forward was to be at peace with my past, forgive all and let go.
And the only way to do that, was to confront my past and address it no matter how much it hurt or how uncomfortable it made me feel. Accept what happened, feel the emotions and let it all go!
And to help me stay in the present and look forward to the future is I practice self love and self care. I try to learn something new everyday and try better myself everyday by working out, going for a walk, decluttering the house, reading a book, taking time to breathe and enjoy my surroundings and count my blessings 💜💜💜
I know exactly what you mean. I was the same. For me it was a different youtuber who said something so wise, so profound, yet so simple and true:
The main problem people have is that they are wrapped up in what happened yesterday, the problems they have now, and things that could go wrong in the future. You only need worry about 1 of those things. People are suffering treble what they need to. The past doesn't exist in reality the way the present does, neither does the future. You only have direct control over what is right in front of you, right now. Potential problems in the future don't exist yet, and problems from the past certainly don't exist right now. Neither should affect you.
It's all very obvious stuff right? But that's how real, practical wisdom sounds! Ground-breaking when you hear it first, but painfully obvious 30 seconds later!
JP has helped me a lot, and so has Sadhguru. He comes at this 'inner turmoil' stuff from a very different angle, but he is worth listening to as well. Very wise man. Just thought I'd leave that recommendation for you!
How did you accept? And forgive yourself
@@goose300183 I love Sadhguru, he is so wise
@@SajidKhan-pt8nj I came to terms with the fact that I can't change the past & I didn't want my past to live in my present or future as it doesn't belong there. It does no good to keep replaying scenarios of what could of/should of happened. Once you accept what's happened make peace with it and let it go. That way you won't keep thinking about and have feelings of regret, pain, sadness etc. You don't want to be a prisoner of your past. I wish you well on your journey
@@kimcurated 🙏👍
I hope we can all heal and take with us the parts from our past that we need, not the parts that inhibit us from living our lives in the present! I send my love to everyone attempting this large undertaking.
Life comes at everyone with up’s and downs. In my life I have chosen NOT to have problems, but to have challenges instead.
It’s a great accomplishment for me,
to take on the challenges and win.
I don’t want to beat a problem. I’d rather win a challenge. So essentially, it’s all how you look at it.
Can you elaborate more on this.
a part of me is stuck in 2007... hope to overcome this one day
am in the 90s and I know it’s gone and they will never come back am trying to make my best at the present moment
I live in the past in many many ways. Miss innocence and fun times of childhood, but can’t forget mistakes I made, or bullies from school. Just can’t shake some traumatic times! 😢
Such a rollercoaster dealing with the past. Forgive them, forgive yourself. Make Smart choices; & the next time Life presents a "test" it's okay to ask questions, whenever you are unsure of the direction your going.❤
I have a lot of regrets during my past relationship. It's been 5 months and I still haven't forgot or moved on. Having a good memory is nice ,but now it feels like a curse. I want the thoughts to stop.
Meditate on Verses from the Bible and Pray to God and think you have a amazing life and you are going to rise up stronger than before and something special going to happen.
I keep overthinking and overthinking all the time and i can't stop thinking about the past, the mistakes I've made are absolutely terrible and i wish i could change it because i want too so badly, I'm now trying to move forward but i can't stop worrying, i have done something that i wish I'd never started in the first place, I'm now facing bad mental health issues that will affect me for a really long time and i just wanna know that everything will be alright because I'm facing panic attacks and anxiety, i really don't know how to go on anymore 😢
Dr. Peterson is on fire here