NEVER Hire a Stupid Hitman | Tales From the Bottle

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  • Опубліковано 20 кві 2023
  • These hitmen turned a contract killing into a pyramid scheme, with hilarious results.
    "Contract killing is a form of murder or assassination in which one party hires another party to kill a targeted person or persons. It involves an illegal agreement which includes some form of payment, monetary or otherwise. Either party may be a person, group, or organization. Contract killing has been associated with organized crime, government conspiracies, dictatorships, and vendettas. For example, in the United States, the Italian- and Jewish-American organized crime gang Murder, Inc. committed hundreds of murders on behalf of the National Crime Syndicate during the 1930s and '40s.
    Contract killing provides the hiring party with the advantage of not having to carry out the actual killing, making it more difficult for law enforcement to connect the hirer with the murder. The likelihood that authorities will establish that party's guilt for the committed crime, especially due to lack of forensic evidence linked to the contracting party, makes the case more difficult to attribute to the hiring party. Contract killers may exhibit serial killer traits, but are generally not classified as such because of third-party killing objectives and detached financial and emotional incentives. Nevertheless, there are occasionally individuals that are labeled as both contract killers and serial killers.
    A contract killer is colloquially known as a hitman. Contract killers who work for criminal organizations are often known as enforcers."
    More on Wikipedia:
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contrac...
    Join membership: / @qxir
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,5 тис.

  • @Qxir
    @Qxir  Рік тому +216

    Join membership: ua-cam.com/channels/GHDQtN_vzFYJaq_Fx1eikg.htmljoin
    Second Channel: ua-cam.com/channels/t93hxFmjppL5nLRAX94UrA.html
    Merch: qxir.creator-spring.com/
    Patreon: www.patreon.com/qxir
    Twitter: twitter.com/QxirYT
    Discord: discord.gg/jZzvvwJ
    Twitch: www.twitch.tv/qxiryt/
    Subreddit: www.reddit.com/r/Qxir/

    • @lookstothetroon
      @lookstothetroon Рік тому

      pp extendus

    • @holdmybeer
      @holdmybeer Рік тому +1

      almost 1 million subs!

    • @babycarrotz32
      @babycarrotz32 Рік тому

      @@lookstothetroon Weird spell or something, I don't know I don't play DND.

    • @LEARSIKCIGAM
      @LEARSIKCIGAM Рік тому

      don’t skimp on shoes, haircuts, and hitman .

    • @cb7251
      @cb7251 Рік тому +2

      @Qxir if you don’t mind me asking what happened to the potential 1 million dollar investment?

  • @babycarrotz32
    @babycarrotz32 Рік тому +3627

    Alternate title: Qxir tries to pronounce Chinese names for six minutes.

    • @Qxir
      @Qxir  Рік тому +1280

      Six minutes? You should see the recording before I edited it

    • @Cervezadog
      @Cervezadog Рік тому +204

      @@Qxir and remember that he did all by himself. Great job brother

    • @hismajesty6272
      @hismajesty6272 Рік тому +72

      @Qxir
      A blooper reel would be epic

    • @averygoodandoriginalname9038
      @averygoodandoriginalname9038 Рік тому +36

      ​@@Qxir make a blooper video

    • @TylerTMG
      @TylerTMG Рік тому +24

      @@Qxir bloopers please

  • @coachmcguirk6297
    @coachmcguirk6297 Рік тому +6657

    Imagine if he had a massive team working on these videos and just didn't want to give them credit lol

    • @Qxir
      @Qxir  Рік тому +4188

      Fuck credit, it's money I don't want to give them 😂

    • @thryi
      @thryi Рік тому +441

      ​@@Qxirat least your honest about it 🤣

    • @CST1992
      @CST1992 Рік тому +254

      @@Qxir You should have hired someone to not give them the money

    • @Cervezadog
      @Cervezadog Рік тому +90

      @@Qxir 😆 you're fucking hilarious Qxir man.

    • @clray123
      @clray123 Рік тому +69

      Imagine if Qxir was hired by someone who was hired by someone who was hired by someone who was hired by someone who was hired by someone.

  • @RandomStranger10
    @RandomStranger10 8 місяців тому +155

    "For whatever reason, he was not overly eager to do the job himself" is the best part the more you said it😂😂😂 thanks for the laughs

    • @AtillaTheFun1337
      @AtillaTheFun1337 4 місяці тому +6

      Same energy as “This enraged his father who punished him severely”

  • @hilmanscooter2136
    @hilmanscooter2136 Рік тому +307

    These guys explain how "outsourcing" works better than my teacher at school

  • @erwintatp
    @erwintatp Рік тому +3121

    Remember this all started because Wei launched two lausuits against Tan? Well, Wei actually lost both cases in 2018, meaning Tan would not need to pay the hitmen or get in prison if he simply waited for the court results.
    Also, in both lawsuits Wei wasn’t even sueing Tan - he was sueing a corporation he had disagreements with, where Tan was a board member. Wei had never even heard of Tan before the police investigation.

    • @LTPottenger
      @LTPottenger Рік тому +165

      He would have saved millions in lawyer fees I bet.

    • @Scooterbeerrun
      @Scooterbeerrun Рік тому +310

      the corporation probably paid Tan to take care of the problem but unlike his underlings he knew to keep quiet

    • @johnladuke6475
      @johnladuke6475 Рік тому +77

      @@Scooterbeerrun Maybe he knew that his bosses' hitmen wouldn't delegate... or hesitate.

    • @gmale605
      @gmale605 Рік тому +6

      Heysus

    • @fleivor5359
      @fleivor5359 Рік тому +40

      Lmao that's so funny, nobody won nothing at the end and everyone was displeased 😂

  • @SlurMaster9000
    @SlurMaster9000 Рік тому +4237

    To be fair, this is basically how construction projects in California work despite having far less at stake.

    • @Jacob-Sophia
      @Jacob-Sophia Рік тому +299

      Actually the hitmen probably would have a lower body count even with a 100% success rate than US budget construction companies

    • @foximacentauri7891
      @foximacentauri7891 Рік тому +176

      Not just California, the entire US contractor system. I image like 25% of all Americans work jobs that aren’t really needed.

    • @archygrey9093
      @archygrey9093 Рік тому +87

      Its actually how construction projects are done in China too, which is why they've got all those bridges and apartment blocks falling down after just a few years despite having a rather large funding initially

    • @Joko_P
      @Joko_P Рік тому +28

      Safe to say I think this applies to almost every country.

    • @PaulRudd1941
      @PaulRudd1941 Рік тому +39

      I'm an HVAC installer and we get sub contracted out to virtually every job. I've only worked with 1 general contractor that had a plumbing, electrical, and concrete wing. And even that is very rare.
      You have to think about how many moving parts there are in an apartment; fire protection systems, mechanical fire dampers, elevators, security systems, and on and on.
      That's why I make some pretty medium bucks compared to a barista.

  • @genevie1998
    @genevie1998 9 місяців тому +40

    I like to imagine the court found this case to be so stupid they decided to give them essentially a free pass

  • @camhedmr_5593
    @camhedmr_5593 Рік тому +45

    1:00 as a trivia, That "Mou" is not Wei's name. Mou, or 某, literally means "somebody", was used as an alias by the Chinese officially when the identity of someone is being kept secret, such as a victim or witness or even a suspect/criminal.

    • @heavy0119
      @heavy0119 9 місяців тому +4

      Is it a bit like how in the us, anonymous people are referred to as “Jane Doe” and “John Doe”?

    • @2tothe253
      @2tothe253 Місяць тому +4

      ​@@heavy0119Yes it is similar, but more like "Mx Wei" giving only the surname, with neither the sex or given name of that person. However, in this case we actually know the given name of Wei is actually Jie from the other court cases.

  • @Vernafveik
    @Vernafveik Рік тому +1096

    This whole ordeal feels like a Monty Python bit and I love it

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Рік тому +8

      True enough... hit sure does...

    • @stevenlubick2689
      @stevenlubick2689 Рік тому +3

      Maybe they did watch any Monty Python first!!🙃🙃

    • @ruth80809
      @ruth80809 Рік тому +1

      This does give off Monty Python vibes! 😂😂

    • @Aotearoa_Kiwi
      @Aotearoa_Kiwi 11 місяців тому +2

      I love Monty Python _skits_

    • @nicholasfarrell5981
      @nicholasfarrell5981 9 місяців тому +2

      Drop the bazooka, rabbi!

  • @charlessaint7926
    @charlessaint7926 Рік тому +840

    '5 Idiot Hitmen' sounds like a excellent movie parody.

    • @sonic23233
      @sonic23233 Рік тому +5

      Of what?

    • @SydneyCarton2085
      @SydneyCarton2085 Рік тому +22

      The Usual Suspects

    • @JosieJOK
      @JosieJOK Рік тому +13

      Or a great idea for an off-Broadway drama!

    • @brandondotson8035
      @brandondotson8035 Рік тому +17

      "The 5th hitman" and it should be a comedy.

    • @flavoursofsound
      @flavoursofsound Рік тому +22

      Diana Burnwood: Here are your targets. Good luck, 47.
      47: I’m not overly eager to do this myself. Agent 69, here are your targets.
      69: I’m not overly eager to do this myself…

  • @TheodoreRizzo
    @TheodoreRizzo Рік тому +31

    Is even funnier that the alleged target man agree to play along and pose for dead body pictures 😂 as if the hit was successful carried out 😂😂😂

    • @jlfan568
      @jlfan568 Місяць тому +1

      the alleged target man did hid himself for a while so that every hitman received the payment, but he felt bad that he only worth 100,000 rmb so he reported to the police.

  • @RWBYSanctum
    @RWBYSanctum Рік тому +13

    This gives me big Palpatine energy vibes man. Sending a man to send a man to send a shapeshifter to send a robot to send bugs to try to kill someone only for it to fail

    • @tempota7792
      @tempota7792 16 днів тому +1

      Lmao, I hadn't connected the dots before now, but that is a ridiculous chain. Palps is nothing if not a huge fan of convoluted ass plans.

  • @SamBrickell
    @SamBrickell Рік тому +1676

    Everyone except for the last guy got off very light. Realize that the client and the four first hitmen all did everything that they thought was necessary to cause the murder, so they all basically attempted murder and should have been held accountable to that. The last guy is the sole person who didn't actually attempt to murder anyone.

    • @kotzpenner
      @kotzpenner Рік тому +113

      True, but he still took the money, maybe that's why he was sentenced.

    • @RRRRRRRRRRR956
      @RRRRRRRRRRR956 Рік тому +354

      The other guys still got enough money to bribe the officials, the last guy don't

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Рік тому +52

      ​@@RRRRRRRRRRR956 that was actually funny

    • @chrisperrien7055
      @chrisperrien7055 Рік тому +18

      The little guy always gets it the worst.

    • @paulchaperon2207
      @paulchaperon2207 Рік тому +16

      Did I misunderstood the video? He got the lightest sentence (2 years)

  • @DescendingVelocity
    @DescendingVelocity Рік тому +497

    I like to imagine in an alternate timeline agent 47 handing off his hit to agent 48, and then 48 to 49 and so on. Eventually it gets down to agent 292 who isn’t even getting paid

    • @Jack-he8jv
      @Jack-he8jv Рік тому +89

      unpaid intern lol

    • @johnladuke6475
      @johnladuke6475 Рік тому +37

      It's a foot in the door of the murder delegation industry, now he just has to find someone he can afford to pay out of pocket on the salary from his part-time minimum-wage job.

    • @fleivor5359
      @fleivor5359 Рік тому +13

      "who isnt even getting paid" lmao

    • @samgyeopsal569
      @samgyeopsal569 Рік тому +9

      “Isn’t even getting paid”
      Gumshoe: 👀

    • @apocalyptosoldier5527
      @apocalyptosoldier5527 Рік тому +19

      He's getting paid in ✨exposure✨

  • @gregiep
    @gregiep Рік тому +19

    The cadence, pacing, narrative style, and clever repetition in this video absolutely made the story!!

  • @Aidennification
    @Aidennification Рік тому +23

    Mad respect for the first 15 seconds of the video. I can't imagine the workload that goes into just one of these.

  • @P0nyB3h0ldr
    @P0nyB3h0ldr Рік тому +1446

    I didn't know the assassination of Padme was based on a true story

    • @PancakeBoi
      @PancakeBoi Рік тому +212

      technically, this story was based on the assassination of Padme, since this took place after the movie released

    • @Pixeleyes
      @Pixeleyes Рік тому +54

      @@PancakeBoi I'm not confident that's how causality works.

    • @Enkye_ART
      @Enkye_ART Рік тому +12

      @@Pixeleyes I think he meant 'would have been based on' rather than was.

    • @tianlanderas
      @tianlanderas Рік тому +13

      @@Pixeleyes r/woooosh

    • @callumprice1710
      @callumprice1710 Рік тому +8

      ​@@Pixeleyes no, no, thats how it works

  • @Phoebe457
    @Phoebe457 Рік тому +38

    So THAT’S why he’s called Agent *47*

  • @EddieTristes
    @EddieTristes Рік тому +20

    Hitman-ception... 🤔

  • @Akapulko
    @Akapulko Рік тому +56

    these guys would be great youtubers, they are literally the definition of "double it and give it to the next person"

    • @hephsmith3738
      @hephsmith3738 Рік тому +12

      How about "half it, and give it to the next person"?

    • @switchboxplays
      @switchboxplays 9 місяців тому +5

      Keep 1/11 of your money and give it to the next person

    • @andrewpinedo1883
      @andrewpinedo1883 4 місяці тому

      ⁠@@hephsmith3738Double the risk and give it to the next person

  • @armaslohemadu
    @armaslohemadu Рік тому +146

    When you're a procrastinator and somehow also a hitman

    • @_Juke_
      @_Juke_ Рік тому +14

      Well these weren't hitmen just consultants in reality :D

  • @skullkap6746
    @skullkap6746 Рік тому +469

    I read the title, and thought that the hitman was a guy who would get caught so many times that every time he was put on trial he looked drastically different. Somehow the truth was even funnier

    • @Pystro
      @Pystro Рік тому +28

      When I read the title and saw the thumbnail, I assumed that someone hired a hitman that was too stupid to do the job, so the guy had to hire another hitman, who was also too stupid to do the job, ... and so on.

    • @FainthedCherry
      @FainthedCherry Рік тому +1

      I thought the hitman in the thumbs was just wearing different costumes each time he got caught, lol.

    • @AudieHolland
      @AudieHolland Рік тому

      I was a bit disappointed at first.
      In my imagination, the whole thing ended in an Assasins' Battle Royale.

  • @gothicbbmelvin
    @gothicbbmelvin Рік тому +6

    Your characterization of the individuals in your drawings is spot on

  • @woogiewoogie0012
    @woogiewoogie0012 Рік тому +22

    Absolutely love your Tales from the Bottle. The art and commentary is perfect 👌🏼

  • @TXiCN
    @TXiCN Рік тому +1465

    This is exactly how business operates in China. People take their cut to be the middleman and the budget get smaller and smaller. "I've got an uncle who can do it cheap" or "I can pay a guy to be the hitman for less" actually how things are done.

    • @Cervezadog
      @Cervezadog Рік тому +61

      They should hire quality control

    • @rogerphone481
      @rogerphone481 Рік тому +194

      @@Cervezadog quality control doesn't exist in china

    • @smasherthe7
      @smasherthe7 Рік тому +173

      ​@@rogerphone481In China, quality controls you!

    • @stellviahohenheim
      @stellviahohenheim Рік тому

      China somehow managed to run a whole nation like a pyramid scheme

    • @-FFFridge
      @-FFFridge Рік тому +242

      ​@@Cervezadog But what if the quality control guy has an uncle that can do quality control for cheap?

  • @thevoidlookspretty7079
    @thevoidlookspretty7079 Рік тому +297

    You know, I thought this plot was stupid in Star Wars, when Palpatine hired Count Douku who hired Jango Fett who hired Zamm Weasel who sent a droid who sent some bugs to kill Padme.
    I thought that was only stupid enough to be in Star Wars.

    • @theenchilada5290
      @theenchilada5290 Рік тому +37

      Degrees of separation isn't dumb as long as it gets executed, if the bugs did their job and the droid vanished they would of probably would never found out who killed Padme.

    • @jillyapple1
      @jillyapple1 Рік тому +28

      I've only seen the prequels once, in theaters, so I could be misremembering. But I thought the whole point of the assassination plot was (a) it would fail, but make it seem like Padme was in danger, so Palpatine could lever that fear to manipulate Anakin to the Dark Side, and (b) the Jedi would chase Fett to Kamino, discover the clone/slave army, and kick off a sham war that would stain the Jedi's hands (as they'd be slavers), cause many of them to Fall, diminish their numbers, paint them as warmongers, and ultimately lead to their genocide and the birth of the Empire.

    • @lukaszspychaj9210
      @lukaszspychaj9210 11 місяців тому +8

      ​@@jillyapple1It does, these people just watched CVH once (who has no idea what he is talking about) and parrot his points ad infinitum

    • @cyanidenightshade
      @cyanidenightshade 9 місяців тому +2

      I rewatched that video recently and immediately thought of this one when Marcus was going on that tangent

    • @hafirenggayuda
      @hafirenggayuda 9 місяців тому

      Tbf, that is how contract killer for political work operate, they use mutiple misdirection to hide the original contractor. This case however just incompetence all around.

  • @Zeekiel
    @Zeekiel Рік тому +4

    I really appreciate the style of your videos. It's quite unique, I believe. The way you draw, the way you put the story together, your editing, everything---it's unique, Qxir, and I love it.

  • @luciphonicverdigris3149
    @luciphonicverdigris3149 Рік тому +2

    Beautiful story telling as always my man! Truly excellent! Thanks for all your efforts!!

  • @gk4204
    @gk4204 Рік тому +1075

    I love the doodle vids. They have so much more character. Thank you for all the effort you put in.

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Рік тому +1

      Athefumen

    • @darrellcook8253
      @darrellcook8253 Рік тому +13

      That is what makes it so special, the expressive art. Qxir has mastered that and we get his excellent voice and storytelling. Nothing like it elsewhere. Imagine if Ozzyman and Qxir got together to do a video! Nah.

    • @zobr0s77
      @zobr0s77 Рік тому

      Give this guy a nebula original series plsssss

    • @luichinplaystation610
      @luichinplaystation610 Рік тому

      Made with chatgpt

    • @luichinplaystation610
      @luichinplaystation610 Рік тому

      @@zobr0s77Nooo we will have a paywall

  • @waterfox2492
    @waterfox2492 Рік тому +22

    "For whatever reason [...] was not overly eager to do it himseld"
    This sentence gradually become comical.

  • @wackofish7435
    @wackofish7435 Рік тому +1

    Dude I love the skit in the beginning with the “was not overly eager to do this himself”

  • @clearcontroller
    @clearcontroller Рік тому +3

    Your delivery was perfect 😂
    I had to watch the whole line up like 3 times due to being hilarious

  • @deandupont5503
    @deandupont5503 Рік тому +606

    If John Woo and Chow Yun Fat ever decided to take a break from bullet operas and make a screwball comedy, this would be the plot outline.

    • @iamhungey12345
      @iamhungey12345 Рік тому +13

      "Once a Thief" comes to mind.

    • @piggypoo
      @piggypoo Рік тому +22

      This seems more like a Stephen Chow/Wong Jing movie

    • @chaosmorris5865
      @chaosmorris5865 Рік тому +9

      Could also make a great Jackie Chan movie with some edits

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Рік тому +8

      I'm sure it would be a big "HIT"

    • @qwopiretyu
      @qwopiretyu Рік тому +5

      ​@@piggypoo agreed Stephen Chow written all over it

  • @adammcveigh
    @adammcveigh Рік тому +27

    I heard that this happened in Russia once. Except the first hitman was massive, the second a little smaller, the third a little smaller than the second.. and so on...

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Рік тому +7

      So when sentencing they just "stacked" them...

  • @DustinLittlefield
    @DustinLittlefield Рік тому

    Your appreciated Qxir, thanks for all the amazing videos man. Seriously much love.

  • @darrellcook8253
    @darrellcook8253 Рік тому

    This channel is at the top of my ten videos I look foward to and because it's hilarious and well thought out it keeps me alive. The art, the effort and the humor is first rate.
    Thanks for making my life better bro. I share the same sense of dark(?) humour.
    Sense of things piling up? Jeeze.

  • @maxwellweiss9849
    @maxwellweiss9849 Рік тому +20

    This reminds me of that one Onion News Network segment where everyone just outsources all their work to the poorest man alive

    • @tempota7792
      @tempota7792 16 днів тому

      That's the last 3 humans on Earth: the poorest man, and the last Jew and Palestinian.

  • @thatsexyganon5648
    @thatsexyganon5648 Рік тому +116

    How has this not been made into a movie? This would be hilarious!

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Рік тому +18

      Yup. A big HIT.

    • @ComedyLoverGirl
      @ComedyLoverGirl Рік тому +13

      Wait a few years and it could be. Chinese moviegoers love black comedy.

    • @janeblogs324
      @janeblogs324 Рік тому +6

      Its called starwars. Got some pretty bad reviews

    • @somewhereupthere7
      @somewhereupthere7 6 місяців тому +1

      it happened in star wars episode 2

  • @devious187
    @devious187 3 місяці тому

    Your videos have been popping up in my recommended feed for a while now but I just started watching today, and im wondering what took me so long! Great work dude, love the video!

  • @hoobietoobie
    @hoobietoobie Рік тому +3

    The animation is superb on this one! You out did yourself

  • @thryi
    @thryi Рік тому +58

    That's one hell of a convoluted way to settle a dispute 🤣

    • @Jack-he8jv
      @Jack-he8jv Рік тому

      he should have called hillary suicide hotline.

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Рік тому +7

      Yes hit is...

  • @saoghail9769
    @saoghail9769 Рік тому +215

    You know, this reminds me of a funny story. One time, this random guy came up to me when I was walking the streets of China and gave me 50,000 yuan to kill some guy. Needless to say, I wasn't really up to it.

    • @badmexican333
      @badmexican333 Рік тому +17

      Did you keep the money, though?

    • @uncolored2060
      @uncolored2060 Рік тому +8

      That's a lot of money, enough to buy a couple of gaming PCs

    • @saoghail9769
      @saoghail9769 Рік тому +87

      @@badmexican333 Nah. I gave 25k to this other guy I knew.

    • @user-ellievator
      @user-ellievator Рік тому

      @@saoghail9769 He came to Kansas on a student exchange and offered me $75 to kill the guy. I talked him up to $100.
      Anyone want to make an easy $25?

    • @philguer4802
      @philguer4802 Рік тому +1

      If you didn't want to do,why not pay someone to do it for you?

  • @ianbrennan9635
    @ianbrennan9635 Рік тому +1

    I think even Monty Python would be shaking their heads at these fools.

  • @Racepiraat
    @Racepiraat Рік тому

    I love this channel for all the weird stories you find.
    I never know what's next and they're all interesting and made even better by the great drawings.

  • @skunkrat01
    @skunkrat01 Рік тому +97

    😂Never get tired of hearing this story, but as usual, you tell it better

  • @CaptainApathetic
    @CaptainApathetic Рік тому +14

    4:57
    One reason that number is so high is that most crimes in the US are prosecuted by the state the crime happened in and the feds only have jurisdiction in certain circumstances (and sometimes both have jurisdiction bc they did one thing that is 2 different crimes) meaning they are a lot pickier about cases they go after.

  • @KSE828
    @KSE828 Рік тому +2

    These once a week uploads are killing me. I’m jonesing by the next day.
    Keep up the great work!

  • @sitdowntwice
    @sitdowntwice Рік тому +4

    Man I love your work. You are my favourite content creator. The hard work and effort that you put in really shows man. You are an absolute legend

  • @ProffessorYellow
    @ProffessorYellow Рік тому +140

    good job on getting the character's appearance to be similar to the real people.

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Рік тому +2

      They all look alike to me...

    • @ProffessorYellow
      @ProffessorYellow Рік тому +7

      @@JTA1961 hey that's alright! It takes a bit of back and forth to notice, since there aren't too many photos of the lineup, but his characters copy small details like a hairstyle or chin that that connects them well.

    • @Kellexyz
      @Kellexyz Рік тому

      ​@@JTA1961le funny yellow people look the same

    • @albingrahn5576
      @albingrahn5576 Рік тому

      @@ProffessorYellow i think he was making a racist joke (a joke about racists, the joke itself isn't neccessarily racist)

    • @ProffessorYellow
      @ProffessorYellow Рік тому

      @@albingrahn5576 oh well, that went over my head lol

  • @Loren_Arg_6816
    @Loren_Arg_6816 Рік тому +80

    I love this story, it feels like a fractal of sub-hiring.

  • @Trash-Bambino
    @Trash-Bambino Рік тому +1

    One of my favorite talks from the bottles. Taking micro management to a whole new level

  • @damo905
    @damo905 Рік тому +1

    Your probably my favourite UA-camr in this category💯 keep up the awesome work man we all love your personality, love from Toronto my G🇨🇦💯

  • @PuddingMcMuffin
    @PuddingMcMuffin Рік тому +12

    Seems like the intended victim had pretty good luck with all of the potential hitmen being too scared to actually kill someone themselves.

  • @eliavrad2845
    @eliavrad2845 Рік тому +20

    Surprised it wasn't mentioned that they all received the 2020 ig-noble prize in management, alongside (metaphorically, they were probably in jail) the winners of the prize in Medicine for "diagnosing a long-unrecognized medical condition of Misophonia, the distress of hearing other people making chewing sounds" and the winners of the prize in Acoustics for "inducing a female chinese alligator to bellow in an airtifht chamber filled with helium-enriched air"

    • @Qxir
      @Qxir  Рік тому +12

      I didn't know they won an Ig Nobel!! That's hilarious!

  • @tastyw0rm
    @tastyw0rm Рік тому +1

    I like that they got lenient sentences as none of them actually followed through and weren't prepared to murder someone. However the hirer himself should have the book thrown at him.

  • @Li.Siyuan
    @Li.Siyuan Рік тому +23

    I believe every word you said in your intro. Your pronunciation of the name Tan Youhui, apart from the tones, was pretty spot on - which is bloody impressive! Well done 😁. Two of the other names were not quite so impressive but still not at all bad. Mo is pronounced 'Muo', Tian is pronounced 'Tien' and si is pronounced 'suh'. BTW, yuan is pronounced 'yüen'.

  • @helloimskip
    @helloimskip Рік тому +38

    "Yeah man, it just shows that you should not hire a Chinese hitman."
    -Dantavius

  • @OleJanssen
    @OleJanssen Рік тому +54

    Personally, I am quite disappointed that Ling Xiansi was also charged. After all, I see no crime in a "hitman" having a meeting with their target and taking some photos.

    • @freakishuproar1168
      @freakishuproar1168 Рік тому +10

      Maybe there's an element of fraud involved, it's just that the "fraud" involved faking a crime.
      I'm not a legal person by any means, but it's just a thought.

    • @mr.2minutes161
      @mr.2minutes161 Рік тому

      maybe because, the moment you accept money to kill someone, its "conspiracy to commit murder"

    • @bosunbill9059
      @bosunbill9059 Рік тому

      ​@@freakishuproar1168 conspiracy to murder I think.

    • @johnladuke6475
      @johnladuke6475 Рік тому +7

      In a fair justice system, I could see his actions fitting a charge of obstruction of justice, or even for conspiracy to commit murder. He may not have taken any concrete steps to harm anyone, but as far as the police are concerned he should have done like the target - agree to the plan just long enough to slip away and tell the cops.

    • @flyerton99
      @flyerton99 Рік тому +2

      @@johnladuke6475 Well, he still accepted the money.

  • @ilovenightcrawler
    @ilovenightcrawler Рік тому +6

    I remember this story! You somehow made this hilarious nonsense even funnier 😂 I love your videos so much.

  • @cowherdsman
    @cowherdsman Рік тому

    Never realized you did it all but thats awesome. Don't ever change your style my guy!

  • @DeWah
    @DeWah Рік тому +15

    Upload more pls or meet me at the spire tomorrow at 2pm

  • @sunny_muffins
    @sunny_muffins Рік тому +5

    That`s why I hated teamwork at school!
    In the end it`s just one idiot who has to do all the job while getting nothing in return.

    • @stevedenis8292
      @stevedenis8292 Рік тому +1

      That is the lesson to be learned from those projects.

  • @LOLWHATBRO
    @LOLWHATBRO Рік тому

    love this return to style. the latest videos have been feeling a bit strange lately. but this video is an instant classic

  • @evank3718
    @evank3718 Рік тому

    This has gotta be one of my favorite tales, well done

  • @KarrierBag
    @KarrierBag Рік тому +5

    I lost my Qxir T shirt when I managed to drive my land rover into a canal in Feb.
    Guess I need another.

    • @Cervezadog
      @Cervezadog Рік тому +1

      A new a canal or a new land rover?

    • @KarrierBag
      @KarrierBag Рік тому

      @@Cervezadog 🤣🤣🤣
      Neither it is a new t shirt thats required.
      was in a bag and got ..... lost / sunk.

  • @HeisenbergFam
    @HeisenbergFam Рік тому +22

    "story od a hitman who hired a hitman who hired a hitman who hired a hitman" is one of the best stories I've heard, spectacular work

  • @viktor8316
    @viktor8316 Рік тому

    I am glad you used the right picture for your hitman 2 joke.

  • @Viewerman-gif
    @Viewerman-gif Рік тому

    thank you so much for your content Qxir, I really appreciate all the effort you put into your videos bro, the graphics are peak finesse.

  • @kiwigoose698
    @kiwigoose698 Рік тому +27

    Great video!
    Your style of videos are pure gold.

  • @ConanLiuMD
    @ConanLiuMD Рік тому +1

    That ending LOL omg qxir is such a genius

  • @bredmon
    @bredmon Рік тому +21

    I don’t think you’ll see this, but I like how you emphasized you are 100% responsible for the videos at the beginning, because your storytelling and jokes in this video were awesome. I loved how you kept the same phrases going when going about all the different transactions. Good video

  • @Dingo232
    @Dingo232 Рік тому +4

    I’ve watched most of your videos for a long time and I don’t think I’ve ever commented. Absolutely love your videos and appreciate all the work and attention you put into them

  • @thevagueyeti8710
    @thevagueyeti8710 Рік тому +16

    Not a minute in and I know this is going to be a banger

  • @mbryson2899
    @mbryson2899 Рік тому +5

    Thank you for sharing your research and this peculiar story.
    Also, as a USian, thank you for highlighting our effing ridiculously high Federal conviction rate.

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Рік тому

      Plead or bleed that is their creed...

  • @rmj7306
    @rmj7306 Рік тому

    How I love your animations and stories. Thank you for helping me pass the time and learn something new

  • @gmkbass
    @gmkbass Рік тому +3

    My absolute favorite part about this channel is this guy's sarcastic, smart ass voice. While dishing out some learnings for us peasants, ofcourse.

  • @cinnamon_enjoyer4302
    @cinnamon_enjoyer4302 Рік тому +9

    It's almost as if I went on holiday to the UK just to be able to catch a Qxir video as soon as it drops!
    Greetings from a deported Irish man.

  • @FireAllOfEverythingAtOnce
    @FireAllOfEverythingAtOnce Рік тому +1

    I have heard it all. A hitman MLM (multi level marketing -- a.k.a. a Ponzi Scheme).

  • @p4cks
    @p4cks Рік тому

    i've only just happened upon your videos but jeez these are brilliantly produced! i doff my cap to you sir

  • @Cody-Coyote
    @Cody-Coyote Рік тому +5

    I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Excellent video. Thanks.

  • @floridanews8786
    @floridanews8786 Рік тому +10

    This story actually teaches a very valuable lesson, for some reason I thought you did this one already, but at any rate thanks!

    • @dannylamb456
      @dannylamb456 Рік тому +1

      If you want something done right, do it yourself?

    • @renatatostada3318
      @renatatostada3318 Рік тому

      ​@@dannylamb456 and here I thought the lesson was "don't try to get people killed" lol

  • @christineharris2302
    @christineharris2302 6 місяців тому

    I had just recently found your channel. I find your sense of humor overly sarcastic.
    I love it!

  • @niwonahutcherson7752
    @niwonahutcherson7752 Рік тому

    I look forward to your stuff every week!

  • @Dive-Bros-Outdoors
    @Dive-Bros-Outdoors Рік тому +5

    You're hilarious Qxir. Love the narration always entertaining. Keep up the good work 😅

  • @timyassa4343
    @timyassa4343 Рік тому +3

    Hahaha hearing all the hitman was like some weird joke lol

  • @KSE828
    @KSE828 7 місяців тому +2

    I love this story. I’ve rewatched this video like 5 times.

  • @pummyy
    @pummyy 9 місяців тому

    Every day when I go for dog walk at night, I play your channel in my earphones more like a podcast. The narration is epic, I paint a picture and the voice is soothing. Perfect end to the day. Haha.
    Keep up the work.

  • @smbcollector
    @smbcollector Рік тому +9

    I really respect you making these videos all by yourself, that's the true spirt of UA-cam! I'm tired of seeing other creators hire help for the sake of pumping out more content and earning more money, I just want to see content that comes from the heart.

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Рік тому +1

      Double Athefumen

  • @CSIS25
    @CSIS25 Рік тому +4

    Hey Qxir like to thank you for the awesome videos and art work it is always fun and enjoyable to watch, keep up the good work!

  • @noahllanos286
    @noahllanos286 Рік тому

    glad to hear from you, sending love and i hope you do what makes you happiest.

  • @gimmedimmy6533
    @gimmedimmy6533 Рік тому

    Joels are really very good.
    Thank you, Joel. You inspire me to be a better Joel.

  • @Misanthrope84
    @Misanthrope84 Рік тому +7

    Qxir, brother, I want you to personally know that every time I see a new video from you - I always immediately click it and know I'm in for a good ride. Keep them coming 🤘Love from Israel.

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Рік тому +1

      Jew know it !!

  • @5eant_
    @5eant_ Рік тому +6

    3rd gen Irish American. Just found your channel a couple days ago, already hooked. Thanks for the great content, and love to listen to you narrate good sir.

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Рік тому +1

      Tree generations... nice.

    • @Dockhead
      @Dockhead Рік тому

      American… just American.

  • @m.streicher8286
    @m.streicher8286 Місяць тому

    The most fascinating part of this is watching the payment arrangements, how much each middle man sees fit to profit.

  • @fatherofdragons4880
    @fatherofdragons4880 Рік тому

    I give an instant like before even watching, because I appreciate your hard work and feel you deserve it for these very entertaining videos. keep it coming my man!

  • @Undercoversteve96
    @Undercoversteve96 Рік тому +3

    I love your vids, Qxir! Hope you’re doing ok, and good luck on future projects!

  • @blinded739
    @blinded739 Рік тому +3

    love your video style

  • @DrDeuteron
    @DrDeuteron Рік тому

    Your art is really good. Captures the emotion with like seven curves.

  • @gerttherude6366
    @gerttherude6366 Рік тому

    I love this channel , I have seen all your vids , just wish I had some more longer ones , but appreciate all your effort ! :) ty