My trauma therapist always reinforces that Financial security is the first point of safety to establish the ability to create safety in the rest of your life. You can't create safety in your nervous system unless you're actual safety (house food etc) is secure. Because your constantly fighting to "survive". It sucks that cptsd interferes with our ability to go for what we need/want.
Jordan Peterson says in one video that a job is not a marriage, so don’t treat it like one. A job is a business transaction. That was an important statement for me to hear, as I have always been a person who stayed in bad job situation for far too long out of his sense of miss placed obligation. they do not owe you, but you also do not have a lifelong obligation to them. I do not mean someone should be walking away from jobs all the time, but it is so important to evaluate your position and move on if necessary without guilt.
I was told as a child not to talk strangers now I get an severely uncomfortable to the point I can't really function meeting new people. It's not the only reason but part of it.
Wow guys. It could also be a parent who grew up in the Great Depression. Or in a similar situation. As for the parent saying not to talk to strangers….are t you glad you weren’t kidnapped? That’s not to “control” you. That’s to give you sensible reasonable discriminatory behaviors that aid in your survival. Here’s another one. Don’t take candy from strangers unless you are with your parent (the nice lady at the bank is different from the single guy parked next to the playground). Man parents have it hard these days when their kids have to claim victimhood from actual good parenting.
I have diagnosed c-ptsd. I hate working. I don’t fit in this world. My brain can’t comprehend the concept of selling your time and freedom to follow stupid, arbitrary rules.
I feel this. I finally found a job I love (already underpaid) and their arbitrary rules say if I only had 4 more college credits I would get a $2 raise. UGH like come on....
A healing topic. An inventory regarding work/career, financial abuse, bosses-employees-colleagues-students and all my part in my resentments has been my salvation. Thank you for sharing all the baby steps, from the mistakes to triumphs. The lessons never stop. Thank you!!!! McDonald’s 💋💋💋 PS) Louise Hay’s-you can heal your Life-has Aldo helped with unscrambling the underearning mysteries. PS2) when I started saying no to volunteering and taking pennies for my artistry, I’d suddenly get gigs that paid 3X’s more and respected my work with like standing ovations ha ha.
This...was an uncomfortable watch because it's too true. Ouch I needed this video but also needed to pause and take a million breaks. I'm wishing we all work to heal and get financially stable within the next 5-10 years, PLEASE.
I love how you talk about “levelling up” but in a very straight forward unconventional way. Simple things like changing glasses and getting a hair cut!
Everything you're saying about selling oneself short applies to my dating and friend life. To a T. Especially the part about staying in a suboptimal or bad situation for fear of leaving.
This one hurts so much so so so so much.Almost 55 years old.Then I've been saying this for too many decades.Let's put it that way but never took the time due to the frustration working out
Thank you so much for this video! I have been underpaid and underemployed my entire life and I'm finally trying to change my life and circumstances. Honestly it is the world, economy, and inflation that is forcing me to, but I should have a decade ago. I need to work on trying to find a job that pays enough... that I'm also qualified for.
Good luck with that! And if you need more insight, Anna has a whole webinar about overcoming underearning: courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/webinar-underearning Nika@TeamFairy
@@COD4JESSE i got pregnant when i was a teen and had to raise my (ill) child alone. I got financial help which i‘ve to pay back to several people and companies. i have a medicore and solid income but it‘s still not enough to make some savings and i feel ashamed of my past so that i rather still be single, than showing my true self and story to a potential partner. i suffer in silence but i‘m thankful i dit a good job with my son and his education.
After 8 years of limerence, I quit my job and went home for 3 months and now have no job or money. I'm 50years old and resentful and have applied for a job that is too cheap and I don't want, but I need to be able to eat. Retirement is around the corner and I feel hopeless.
Thank you for sharing. You may like Daily Practice. It is a great way to process fears and resentment. You can try it free here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy
I am a tarot reader and medium and I completely agree about twin flames, and I don’t really like being asked or talking about the subject much because it is a trauma response and psychologically dangerous, I agree.
Thank you again. This content is really helpful. I wasn't aware of underearners anonymous and will check it out. I was given 'Money Drunk, Money Sober' by Julia Cameron and a other author many years ago which has solid advice but staying on that wagon has proven the challenge- always know I am doing better when I am taking notice of financial stuff. My best wishes to the letter writers. ❤
Thank you so much for these videos! Very informative and insightful. I would be curious to yours and maybe anyone else’s thoughts considering CPTSD in the context of leadership. Anything in general I guess.
Is there a video from Anna about being on disability but still somehow becoming more financially stable? I missed it if she mentioned here. Thanks for another great video getting right to the core of cptsd. ❤
For me underearning was intentional ....that was my way of saying no to my father who has always been indebted in various banks and asked for money whenever he could.Having little money was safe....no more emotional blackmail...Yes IT caused me to live in discomfort but at least not feeling guilty.Now i earn much more but i still have to be secret about IT not to give IT away to him.Strange as IT seems, my money was my dads money.My needs and my siblings' needs were not important.
I think I have imposter syndrome. I don't resent anyone. I'm horrible with money. I eek by barely on disability and a side hustle which I then dump my cash into the hustle, but the hustle requires me going in public which freaks me out because people freAk me out but that's crazy because I'm great with kids and customers and their feedback is positive and rewarding. I always go low in prices.
MY hypervigilance has moved into regular vigilance with DP 2x's a day. Whew. Even with a lifetime of C-PTSD, brain injury, et all, based decisions, change may happen.
Unforunately due to my Traumatic Brain Injury -( TBI ), I am very limited employment wise... I attempted and failed to become a Special Education Teacher,Car Salesman and 911 Radio Dispatcher because of my issues from my TBI-(limited multitasking skills,speech issues,anxiety,depression,anger,etc)... I am currently on SSDI-( Social Security Disability Income),Food Stamps,Medicaid,Medicare and Section 8 for housing... I drive part time for a car dealership for a little extra cash.
Reading how hard you are trying in the most difficult circumstances is really impressive. I hope you find something perfect for you that you can still earn good money with your TMI.
Im living in a Hotel , I have narcissistic parents , both of them , no support , no friends , no boyfriend and my narcissistic father abuses me financially and so many other ways ! Im falling into depression again I think ! Help ! How to get out of here ???? Far away from them ?
A good first step is to stay away from abusive people and environments. Then you will have space to focus on healing, and the Daily Practice will be a great tool to start your healing journey. Here's a link to the free course, if you're interested: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy and the second step ? I don’t even have a job or place to stay ‘ plus I’m in a foreign country and I feel so alone for so long ! Almost 4 years ! Getting into depression
You live California, if one is self employed, a sole proprietor, their taxes are equal to their income. If one chooses to look for work through another, people are competing for a mere minimum wage. It's possible to make money, but that window is getting smaller and smaller in a country that's becoming third world.
I'm getting trying to listening today's videos for solutions. You keep talking about regulating what the h*** is at? What is re regulating? How to do it?
I have a full playlist on Dysregulation/Re-Regulation. You can also put the term in the channel search bar to find literally dozens of videos on the subject. You can try tips I teach in videos, and if you want to go deeper, look in the description section for the courses I offer or visit my website at crappychildhoodfairy.com. In the fall, I have a book on the subject coming out from Hay House, available worldwide.
I salute your emotional honesty in sharing the stories from your past. You are so inspirational. I thank you from the bottom of my unregulated heart ❤
My trauma therapist always reinforces that Financial security is the first point of safety to establish the ability to create safety in the rest of your life. You can't create safety in your nervous system unless you're actual safety (house food etc) is secure. Because your constantly fighting to "survive". It sucks that cptsd interferes with our ability to go for what we need/want.
This is such a helpful perspective. Your therapist is wise. Financial freedom is one of the foundation pillars for healing. Thanks for sharing this.
Doing for myself. Speaking to myself and being for myself what I would for a friend. This is what I’m working on now in my recovery.
Jordan Peterson says in one video that a job is not a marriage, so don’t treat it like one. A job is a business transaction. That was an important statement for me to hear, as I have always been a person who stayed in bad job situation for far too long out of his sense of miss placed obligation. they do not owe you, but you also do not have a lifelong obligation to them. I do not mean someone should be walking away from jobs all the time, but it is so important to evaluate your position and move on if necessary without guilt.
Can you share the link please, appreciate if you can, thank you
That's the vicious circle i need money to quit my toxic family but i can't make money i feel like i'm paralyzed 😢😢😢
Parents sheltering their kids by telling them they have to be scared of the world & the world is unkind and scary
devouring parent or codependant parent.
Wow ..
"Sheltering"
I was told as a child not to talk strangers now I get an severely uncomfortable to the point I can't really function meeting new people. It's not the only reason but part of it.
Wow guys. It could also be a parent who grew up in the Great Depression. Or in a similar situation.
As for the parent saying not to talk to strangers….are t you glad you weren’t kidnapped? That’s not to “control” you. That’s to give you sensible reasonable discriminatory behaviors that aid in your survival.
Here’s another one. Don’t take candy from strangers unless you are with your parent (the nice lady at the bank is different from the single guy parked next to the playground).
Man parents have it hard these days when their kids have to claim victimhood from actual good parenting.
I have diagnosed c-ptsd. I hate working. I don’t fit in this world. My brain can’t comprehend the concept of selling your time and freedom to follow stupid, arbitrary rules.
I feel this. I finally found a job I love (already underpaid) and their arbitrary rules say if I only had 4 more college credits I would get a $2 raise. UGH like come on....
That’s why a lot of people create passive income for themselves
❤
A healing topic.
An inventory regarding work/career, financial abuse, bosses-employees-colleagues-students and all my part in my resentments has been my salvation.
Thank you for sharing all the baby steps, from the mistakes to triumphs.
The lessons never stop.
Thank you!!!!
McDonald’s 💋💋💋
PS) Louise Hay’s-you can heal your Life-has Aldo helped with unscrambling the underearning mysteries.
PS2) when I started saying no to volunteering and taking pennies for my artistry, I’d suddenly get gigs that paid 3X’s more and respected my work with like standing ovations ha ha.
This...was an uncomfortable watch because it's too true. Ouch I needed this video but also needed to pause and take a million breaks. I'm wishing we all work to heal and get financially stable within the next 5-10 years, PLEASE.
❤💯
This will only get worse before it gets any better
I love how you talk about “levelling up” but in a very straight forward unconventional way. Simple things like changing glasses and getting a hair cut!
Everything you're saying about selling oneself short applies to my dating and friend life. To a T. Especially the part about staying in a suboptimal or bad situation for fear of leaving.
Glad you are here!
Nika@TeamFairy
This one hurts so much so so so so much.Almost 55 years old.Then I've been saying this for too many decades.Let's put it that way but never took the time due to the frustration working out
Omg...Feral..
That's exactly how I felt and sometimes still feel! ❤
Thank you so much for this video! I have been underpaid and underemployed my entire life and I'm finally trying to change my life and circumstances. Honestly it is the world, economy, and inflation that is forcing me to, but I should have a decade ago. I need to work on trying to find a job that pays enough... that I'm also qualified for.
Good luck with that! And if you need more insight, Anna has a whole webinar about overcoming underearning: courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/webinar-underearning
Nika@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thanks for the link :)
It’s so hard me to negotiate salary and taking under paying jobs while having debt but I’m claiming better financial security this year!
I keep breaking down from this video. It's so raw and relatable.
We're all here to support you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
This Video comes 20 years late, it already wrecked my life and now i have to clean up the mess i made until i die.
It’s okay if you don’t want too, of course. But may I ask you to elaborate?
@@COD4JESSE i got pregnant when i was a teen and had to raise my (ill) child alone. I got financial help which i‘ve to pay back to several people and companies. i have a medicore and solid income but it‘s still not enough to make some savings and i feel ashamed of my past so that i rather still be single, than showing my true self and story to a potential partner. i suffer in silence but i‘m thankful i dit a good job with my son and his education.
Sorry
I'm 50 and just getting things straight. You're not alone❤
After 8 years of limerence, I quit my job and went home for 3 months and now have no job or money. I'm 50years old and resentful and have applied for a job that is too cheap and I don't want, but I need to be able to eat. Retirement is around the corner and I feel hopeless.
Thank you for sharing. You may like Daily Practice. It is a great way to process fears and resentment. You can try it free here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
I'm almost where you are but we can turn things around ❤❤❤
I wonder how the current economy plays into this, how much control we realistically have over our own situations.
This economy sucks for sure!!!!!!!
your a beautiful lady! TY , you have helped me alot!
" donate them to a mortuary. "😂 that was so funny. I tend to save old clothes because I think I could use the fabric somehow.
I need to be earning so much more. I live in a beautiful house, but there's so much more in life to be had.
I am a tarot reader and medium and I completely agree about twin flames, and I don’t really like being asked or talking about the subject much because it is a trauma response and psychologically dangerous, I agree.
Thank you again. This content is really helpful. I wasn't aware of underearners anonymous and will check it out. I was given 'Money Drunk, Money Sober' by Julia Cameron and a other author many years ago which has solid advice but staying on that wagon has proven the challenge- always know I am doing better when I am taking notice of financial stuff. My best wishes to the letter writers. ❤
I'm going to check that book out❤
Thank you so much for these videos! Very informative and insightful. I would be curious to yours and maybe anyone else’s thoughts considering CPTSD in the context of leadership. Anything in general I guess.
Yes! I'm working on content about that this year!
Good , sound , honest information.
Thank you for more info on Limerence. I needed that!
Glad it was helpful!
Nika@TeamFairy
Is there a video from Anna about being on disability but still somehow becoming more financially stable? I missed it if she mentioned here. Thanks for another great video getting right to the core of cptsd. ❤
Never give people money to do magic for you. So simple yet so wise.
For me underearning was intentional ....that was my way of saying no to my father who has always been indebted in various banks and asked for money whenever he could.Having little money was safe....no more emotional blackmail...Yes IT caused me to live in discomfort but at least not feeling guilty.Now i earn much more but i still have to be secret about IT not to give IT away to him.Strange as IT seems, my money was my dads money.My needs and my siblings' needs were not important.
I think I have imposter syndrome. I don't resent anyone. I'm horrible with money. I eek by barely on disability and a side hustle which I then dump my cash into the hustle, but the hustle requires me going in public which freaks me out because people freAk me out but that's crazy because I'm great with kids and customers and their feedback is positive and rewarding. I always go low in prices.
MY hypervigilance has moved into regular vigilance with DP 2x's a day. Whew.
Even with a lifetime of C-PTSD, brain injury, et all, based decisions, change may happen.
Happy Easter Mama have a great day 💗
Happy Easter to you too!
Nika@TeamFairy
Unforunately due to my Traumatic Brain Injury -( TBI ), I am very limited employment wise... I attempted and failed to become a Special Education Teacher,Car Salesman and 911 Radio Dispatcher because of my issues from my TBI-(limited multitasking skills,speech issues,anxiety,depression,anger,etc)... I am currently on SSDI-( Social Security Disability Income),Food Stamps,Medicaid,Medicare and Section 8 for housing...
I drive part time for a car dealership for a little extra cash.
Reading how hard you are trying in the most difficult circumstances is really impressive. I hope you find something perfect for you that you can still earn good money with your TMI.
Also glad you were able to access social housing etc., it's not always easy hey
Happy Easter 🐣 💕.
Happy Easter to you too!
Nika@TeamFairy
Im living in a Hotel , I have narcissistic parents , both of them , no support , no friends , no boyfriend and my narcissistic father abuses me financially and so many other ways ! Im falling into depression again I think ! Help ! How to get out of here ???? Far away from them ?
A good first step is to stay away from abusive people and environments. Then you will have space to focus on healing, and the Daily Practice will be a great tool to start your healing journey. Here's a link to the free course, if you're interested: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy and the second step ? I don’t even have a job or place to stay ‘ plus I’m in a foreign country and I feel so alone for so long ! Almost 4 years ! Getting into depression
Do you have advice for people on fixed income? I'm already frugalasphuck.
"Very Murphy Brown...." ❤😂
I was financially abused 😢
You live California, if one is self employed, a sole proprietor, their taxes are equal to their income. If one chooses to look for work through another, people are competing for a mere minimum wage. It's possible to make money, but that window is getting smaller and smaller in a country that's becoming third world.
Agreed, the taxes are too high! And services are scarce.
Happened to me, sadly.
I'm getting trying to listening today's videos for solutions. You keep talking about regulating what the h*** is at? What is re regulating? How to do it?
I have a full playlist on Dysregulation/Re-Regulation. You can also put the term in the channel search bar to find literally dozens of videos on the subject. You can try tips I teach in videos, and if you want to go deeper, look in the description section for the courses I offer or visit my website at crappychildhoodfairy.com. In the fall, I have a book on the subject coming out from Hay House, available worldwide.
I always relate to your words... but today you made me laugh at exactly how well you get it
Dece
Thanks from
South Australia 🇦🇺
Thanks for watching! Glad you enjoyed it!
Nika@TeamFairy
I disagree adamantly with the price thing. Creates way to much wiggle room for abusers.
If you see the true need. Jump to help. Budget for this before it ever happens.