Men Find THESE Things Irresistible in Women | Matthew Hussey
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- Опубліковано 31 тра 2024
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Very helpful tips, but some won't still commit even with all these qualities. Only a man who wants to be kept by you will do so.
A narcissistic man won't care about any of these things. Only how good you look beside him and what you can do for him.
I'm suprised many women looking for a long term relationship have yet to realize that some men they meet are only looking for sex. You can't change someone who does want to change.
@@kassaken6521 it's because those same women will sleep with 20 different men from dating apps without forming a single meaningful connection.
Alimatou Shadia. If you meet such a person, then move on. I can't understand how you can want to be with somebody who don't show that they will be with you.
@@greatmoney3605 No one's staying, just gave an observation. Besides, these tips may work only if the guy is equally interested.
What stands out to me when I first meet a woman is
1) how she carry’s herself, not so much how she dresses but her posture and body language. Does she hold her head high or is it down? If it’s down, Is she trying to make eye contact (shy/introverts have a different thing) or is she constantly looking at her phone? It’s about interest. Dated a lady who was always on her phone…. It was a turn off.
2) her laugh and smile. There is a difference a fake it till you make it and the real deal. You can hear and see the difference.
If we get past that and actually have a kiss…. The kiss is the opportunity to show who you are in one moment. Even guys pay attention to it.
1. Treat everyone important. Not just him. Be polite to him.
1. Early stage - Be nice and able to handle to talk to strangers. That he dont need to baby sit you everywhere.
From video
1. Playfulness
2. Sexiness
3. Nurturing (loved + looking after)
4. Independence (do work for yourself/ don't make him center of your life)
Be a multifacinated person.
why when i close my eyes i feel like it's Harry Potter talking to me and giving me all these important advices and why do i love it?
As a guy, in regards to the tip about offering to leave a function early and letting him be around his important people, that sounds correct and giving on HER part.
The subsequent correct step on HIS part is to then leave with you.
It's about his being considerate and grateful that you'd be willing to do that for him and then him reciprocating.
It's more about the willingness more than anything else.
Lol, if you make an offer and then get upset when someone accepts it, it wasn't a genuine offer
MH: "the focus is not on looks but the value you bring." The value comes from who we are - the self acceptance, self awareness, self assuredness and the deep seated sense of self esteem. Our value flows from this place of groundedness, honesty, and generosity.
You say this, but I guarantee you that until now, you still immediately reject Sub5s approaching you 100% of the time.
@@ShadowbannedAccount I don't know what you exactly mean with the term "Subs" but I can assure you: If someone approaches me in a playful, kind, polite way I will always take the time to flirt along. A weekend months ago I had a very charmant flirt which I still think about today. I was sitting on a bench just looking around, watching people etc and thinking about If I wanted to get a coffee or not. He casually approached me, saying sth. about the nice weather. He was absolutely not my type of guy at first sight, we chatted about half an hour and that gave me enough time to feel attracted to him. He was playful, showed me that he liked me, but he was very relaxed. I had to leave- he didn't give me a number but mentioned in a subtile way where to find him. If I will meet him again by chance 😉and he asks me out- that would be a 100% yes from me. 😊
Goes both ways. I watched my ex having dinner with my father for the first time and decided to leave him after. A few things he did made my skin crawl.
Off course, Jennifer. It goes both ways, everyone understands that, but this video is not about your ex boyfriends problems.
You must try to listen to advices without always turning the table and come with examples that has nothing to do with the topic.
@@greatmoney3605 Why don't you get a life and stop making negative comments to everyone
You know those short clips where they cut out a celebrity couple on the red carpet and the way her man is looking at her? and the cameraman makes sure to capture that moment and those sparkling eyes. And everyone is going crazy with #couplegoals
We all want to be admired this way.
Yup.. that confidence, playfulness, warmth is absolutely irresistible.
We need to tell others more often when they're those things
I think the point on Independence needs its own discussion. We're living in a time now when men and women are equally independent on so many levels e.g. social, financial, etc. I absolutely love an independent female who has her own interests and ambitions for self growth as an individual; however, I feel "misguided" and sometimes even "toxic" females go out of their way to make the guy that they're in a relationship with feel like they are so independent that they don't need the guy at all, often even to the point that they'll verbalise it to him. The issue there is that you've now changed the dynamics of the relationship because a relationship is about "us" and not about "me" or "I". Guys want an independent woman for sure, but we also want to be wanted - to offer some value - and I think females should embrace it. I don't know if females feel they need to come off strong on the independent vibe as a defense mechanism to prevent being hurt by putting up a wall, but if you're afraid of being hurt or vulnerable then you shouldn't be in a relationship, right?
It's more likely that they're using "I'm so independent" as a baited hook. It's a classic attempt to emulate what they think the other person wants in order to control how they are perceived in the moment. Both men & women do this a ton.
Any time someone repeatedly announces their own "positive traits" (IE I'm a nice person, I'm so caring & kind, look at me being so generous with my money, blah blah blah) it's a big red flag. They've got ulterior motives, it's part of their mask or it's a desperate attempt to convince themselves of the lie. Unhealthy bs either way. It's truly best to just walk or proceed with caution if you must.
A truly independent woman very rarely announces it. She's gonna walk the walk about it & you can expect to get called out when warranted, but it's way different than trying to cut you down in the process or shoving it in ppl's faces. When she's truly independent, she & everyone around her will know it doesn't even need to be said.
I guess we all have a bit of feeling unsecure in a relationship, Its exactly what he's talking about, LoL.
There are Always some other who is more beatuful, or have other things that make us feel less beatuful then you are Looking yourself.
So I hope we can look for what is inside of the other one,and of course yourself, so you don't show how attracted you are to someone else 👌🤗🥰
I don’t believe a woman will ever say something like “I don’t need you” it sounds more like men are feelings insecure about how they’re unable to provide in the relationship. If men feel they’re not needed, they need to figure out where they may be needed. Women are ALWAYS complaining about issues they deal with daily. Oh my blender broke, my sink clogged, my car is making noises whatever those are, men need to pay attention. That’s what she NEEDS from a man. She’s never going to verbalize it, it’s up to the men to step up and step in to help and show their support.
He knows what he wants only if he's mature enough.
And that's very relative. Looking for marriage isn't always the only answer for this issue.
Some of us looked for marriage and found it but there are some other men who enjoy not being married but living with his woman.
I'm not a superwoman to maintain his family and friends entertained at the time, point, tackling my each move... Im a person, and if he is a person, and if he respects me with what l am and do, l certainly will not go into jealous mode of his job, family, friends putting myself first. That is childish, in my humble opinion and not mature, and is a picture of a person that is not confident. He has his life, as well l have mine. What lm not doing at any point is looking up to his needs being met at all times, just to make him attracted more to me. I don't play games and play some super woman that knows skiing, writing, philosophy, politics, latest sports charts, and what not just to speak cheerful to the people he value, or he himself. Just to be liked. Im not seeking the ouside validation, or playing the perfect partner. Things must flow, not to be played. That is my honest opinion. Thanks for the advice you shared.
1.) Kindness
2.) Looks
Done.
That's it
That's the list.
Don't be fooled by a 23 minute video, ladies.
We're simple.
YUP
Matt offers lots of golden nuggets throughout his videos. Just because the video is 23 minutes long, doesn't mean he's "fooling" anyone. 😊
@@jisson57 If we were to summarize what he said :
Kindness, empathy, consideration before action, being sexual with him.
That's it.
And the reason as to why Holden said just kindness and looking good and me agreeing to it is because most women can't show empathy to our struggles even if they try, most women do mistakes which are made from their emotions and we're used to it tbh and when it comes to being sexual, that's mostly initiated by us. We can't make a woman to be kind and we can't make a woman to take care of her looks either.
Everything else is a huge bonus and we men will literally stick to such person but in reality the bar for men is much much lower than it is for women.
Thoughts on a guy who says ‘you’re too kind/too generous and to play hard to get?’
@@tristamarie7115 He's a young idiot that hasn't learned his lesson yet. Leave him and find a guy that appreciates you.
That first guy will get crushed one day and look back at you and think, "Damn. Should've been her."
How about respect, communication, loyalty and honesty, individually
Your wit and brilliance after 3 years of watching your videos, still amazes me everytime. Thank you Matt and all of your amazing team
Thank you for sharing your wisdom about human behavior, Matthew! I am autistic and your videos have truly helped me to better understand myself as well as others.
Suggestion for future videos: Matthew, your content has helped many of us. And the examples are great. Maybe in the near future you can actually coach someone in real-time on how to socialize and mingle at a lounge or event. You can guide them through the steps in their ear. Same concept with a first date. Seeing it scripted is one thing, but live coaching someone and seeing the results is next level!
I would watch that! Very reality tv-ish, but I would watch that for sure
He should make a Netflix show
Matthew has made a Netflix show. It is called Single Wives. He coaches each of four women who have been married but are now single and looking for the right person. It is an excellent and educational show.
That sounds like a pickup artist. That’s what those sad individuals do, they call them “boot camps” and charge over 2 grand for it.
That would be fun but might also be controversial
*Being passionate, confident, and genuine are attractive traits that draw genuine connections.*
I love Matthew and his cousin in this video, so real 😂 I think everyone likes Matthew's videos bec's he is so sincere ! I love his personality, I wish I could meet someone as humble. 😊
Great content! Thank you so much. These tips are not only for women but for men as well! 👌
You are Brilliant Mathew! Im always aware of your new videos :) thank you.
Men find these things irresistible in women.
1)be attractive
2)have your mans back and serve him by making him look good. For example, compliment him in front of others.
3)serve him in other ways. Food and especially xxx
4)allow yourself to also be served. Men feel manly when they can take care of their women. Cut the feminist crap.
Really? Serve him and cut the “feminist crap”?
And what does the woman get out of that?
@@lisajohnson6351 If he’s a good man and she’s doing all those things, what she gets out of it is a lifetime loving relationship where the sky is the limit in happiness and wealth. Number 4 clearly stated that she should be allowing herself to be served right back. It’s mutual love. And an easy example of feminist crap is thinking the balance is very unequal which is what I implied from your question of “what does she get out of that”. There are many more examples but that one was just so easy.
Men and women are very different from each other and want different things.
@@randomcitizen9909 really? I want respect, fidelity, support, admiration and a partner in life…and a man who wants the same. What do you think woman want that is so different.
Men, especially white men, have been spoiled by mothers who did all the daily work for them and were told they should be satisfied in their role.
I thank all the feminists for giving us a chance for an actual life beyond that!
@@lisajohnson6351 You really don't get it... you want respect ? give respect back.. want.fidelity? give that back suport admiration? what do you give for those.. nothing is free you have to give back the same amount of whatever you get.. If you never admire his work or hobby why the F would he admire anything from you ? I feel like you're the kind of attractive woman that can't bring herself to show respect of how much your ego got inflated by looks.
@@lexnight8345 well, you couldn’t be more wrong!
I realize now how much I could have manipulated people with my looks but I do not have the mind capabilities to be that manipulative.
And you comment makes no sense because I would never bother to be with a man who didn’t have qualities I respected. Nor would I spend time with a man who did not respect my unique qualities.
The timing of this video.. I was just grumpy to my bf cos he prioritised a work call and then fixing a broken heater over calling me.. thanks Matt :)
I always love your down to earth, common sense , practical tips to human interactions plus that you and your staff actually DEMONSTRATE them through the short skits so we can actually see them applied. BRILLIANT! Kudos to you and hats off to Jamieson. Thank you Matt and team.
matt am marriied for about 25 years now it has reached a point where i am not happy with my relationship because it is complicated and i attracted to other men it is like want to start afresh but sometimes thing am too late to start remember i still feel lovely and sexy please help
matt you excite every time you discuss about love. can someone who met just one person in his all entire life ?also understand about love life? is it easy to leave a man you married 25 yrs and found out that he is a married man and doesnt add value to your life however you try ? you cant love him the you would want? you feel chocked because you are not free how do i share this , how can i express better i feel very unsafe to do anything because of the threat that if i live him he will kill himself i dont want him die what can i do ?
@@christineyeshu4927 I would recommend you to stay and work on your relationship.
If you are attracted to other man and think you are not free now, just do a research on the internet about how a breakup (divorce) in a situation like yours worked out for them. there are literly millions examples where they regret it,
ether way I wish you the best
Great video! Thanks! You have a great way of explaining things I've often felt and sometimes don't realize how to express them!
Best video - hilarious - pure knowledge and entertainment - knocked it out of the park for me
😂😂😂
Being present but also silent at the same time
Very creative video. Enjoyed watching and learned a lot. Thank you, Matt.
It's very difficult when one person's feels a need to communicate and the other has problems in that area.
I think if a man takes her to a party full of people she doesnt kno then he should hang with her until he knows she's full of comfortable. My ex would do that crap 👎🏾. I wouldn't take my man to a party where i know people and he doesnt and then just leave him
If it’s a party with a bunch of his friends I usually bring a girlfriend along. His guy friends are happy to see another single girl in the room and then I know i have someone I vibe with. If I felt awkward I would just go home, you not having a good time is kinda on you.
So straight to the point. Love it!
"Love wins" Needed to hear that today
Thanks for the awesome tips!! I just got out of a relationship and I’ve been grieving my mom cause she passed away and I’ve had a hard time being able to focus on relationship things! I was often screwing stuff up before she even passed with my bf and it only got worse after she passed. Which is a large reason why the relationship started going sour. I’m heartbroken in all types of ways but I’m glad that I can do better! These tips are great!
Looks are only a shell it's the whole package that counts. Looks fade but a true heart and soul never do. I always felt that was more important than what a man did for a living, car he drove, or where he lived.
Such a beautiful video , the way you do it quite funny and so cute and at same time very helpful … cheers
This is one of the funniest videos I've seen in a long time!! 🤣 Thanks Matthew Hussey for, yet again, providing comic relief while educating us! 💋
I absolutely agree
My thought exactly, this is comedy gold!! 🤣🤣
HILARIOUS!!! and sooo true!!! fantastic video
it's too good to be true, man, nobody learns javascript by pleasure. haha. thanks for the informative video, this is great info
You are like the best at these advices thank you!
This was very useful! Thanks!
I love the elegance of your content and the creativity as well.❣👏👏👏👏💋
all of those needs to be both ways ;) and when you are a kind and loving person, all of that is natural and easy, if you have to think about being kind...forget it !!!! your not!!!
Great content! Thank you so much.
Its amazing all of these tips to be a better woman for the man . but hopefully you will get the same reciprocated energy too .
Such good content! I am so glad I found these videos. Matthew... what do you do if you've acted insecure and pushed someone away?
I love this .. “ making the most of every opportunity! “
Great video ! Thanks♡
I know this was compilation of past videos, but I did need to see the yoga one again, for sure. I'm deciding on dipping my big toe back into the dating pool again for the first time in years-- I'm just relearning how to relax and let myself just TALK to guys again, you know? Like, not even "how do I get this guy to ask for my phone number?" so much as "how to make conversation with strangers" and "let's see how many names I can remember by the end of the night" and doing the things that video was talking about.
Brilliant, thank you!
Well then I should be irresistible!!! Lol
Right?? 😄
seriously!!
I love the part after 14:20 especially. These examples are hilarious, yet so accurate
There are other things to be taken under consideration because each person and each couple is unique. Each person and each couple have their own valuable traits and expectations of what makes them feel loved, happy and appreciated in a relationship and IF these are compatible , they achieve happiness together. I have talked that through with my psychologist a few years back and I have stopped feeling wrong or overreacting with what makes ME happy. I respect this part of myself now and hope I find the compatible man for me.
Personally, I am happy and feel loved when I see that my man behaves to me and thus truly feels me as a priority in his life and is not stressed about when he sees family or friends, meaning he gives me most of his time joyfully without feeling pressured or forced to do so and that's because this makes him feel loved and happy too.
So, when this is established, I can feel relaxed that this guy really wants me in his life and not playing games as if I was an option, but makes me feel I am a choice. When he provides this respect and loyalty for our relationship I can be happy with his friends and family whom of course does not put them in my face selfishly just to show me that he has a life without me too but it comes naturally and smoothly to meet them and spend time with them. Love transforms you and so probably changes other relationships with friends or family too because now you do joyfully give most of your time to the one who feels closest now to you, mentally and physically and so you cannot be afraid to be vulnerable or think selfishly of loosing self-control. You have made a choice to have this closest person in your life, that you said you love them and you want to commit to them. That should not make you feel like loosing self-control or freedom but on the contrary giving you power and self-worth and motivation.
*ps Don't go into defensive mode right away when you self-worth by a good partner . Think selflessly and realistically how much is blended when you are truly into one another, truly emotionally commited and how that really influences your self-worth too. It influences all of you and this is the true and honest way to love each other without selfish hold-backs.
This is why it hurts so badly if trust is broken and this is why you need so much strength and time afterwards to feel yourself as whole and enough again when you are separated from that UNITY with them.
But to me, this is how you can truly love, when you are willingly vulnerable and risk to loose yourself (for a while) if tragedy happens.
Well said that can be a true measure of love toward another individual and being true to yourself in the relationship together
U r very right about talking with other people in his life for him to take it to commitment level. However I'm not this person and really don't like impressing other people and forcing myself to bond with everyone. However I have seen whatever u said. But i can't do it but I understand what u said
1:00 to 1:40. Yes !
Absolutely correct.
This is probably the funniest and most helpful video in how to behave around the opposite sex! Women in general can either be too meek or shy, while others can come across as rude, abrasive or lacking any natural grace. Elegance, as a mindet, takes practice. Balance comes from within. Matthew pretty much hit the nail on the head with this video! 😄
These are all good.
Sometimes nothing works. I adore a amazing guy but🤷♀️ just get nothing back. I like his sarcasm, he is a nerd, works hard, a great father, always late, sleeps in any chance he gets…. Lol but he doesn’t even notice me. I just adore him❤️
Ohhh gosh thank you Matthew God bless you for making these videos already committed 2 of these turn offs 😂😂😂 now I can correct them!
Again, I was already doing this before this video and I am still alone!
i loved this video amazing dipiction
Thanks a lot. God bless.
I agree with Bill, def a tv, and switch at the very least
Billy's part was hilarious and unfortunately also true 😂
The number one mistake women make about men is that they think we care about their careers as a major form of attraction. We don’t. We just want healthy women that are supportive, loyal and put out often. Simple.
Facts
no they actually care very much about their career and want you to do the same. Because a lot of guys don't support it, still.
@@annatimmerbeil3910 at the outset, a woman's career matters very little. Once in a relationship, then it may matter very much, as the demand on your time professionally will directly impact a future with that man, especially if you have a family.
@@Tormalima it's not a objective view that a woman's career is not important. So don't state that like it is a universal truth. If it is important to her than it is important. It is not something that you only calculate with in terms of time management, because for some it is also part of their self actualization. It seems very unilateral and frankly emotional unintelligent to look at it that way.
@@annatimmerbeil3910 I can guarantee you, men do NOT care about your career or your education. You can be a McDonald's employee or a jobless girl, if you're wife material, men will court you.
Team Matthew 🍀❤️
That Ending was sooo accurate for Us gamers with responsibilities.
I could not agree more with your points and recommendations, here. Unfortunately, my actions or being friendly, inclusive, interested, etc. were all lost on many toxic friends (of my partner), his allegiance to them, and his alcoholic and toxic family members. I endured years of verbal and emotional abuse, and finally left. There seem to be LOADS of videos, on line, offering advice on how to "walk-the-line, "take-the-higher-road, be an agreeable, friendly, interesting person, be loyal, helpful and forth-giving. It would be helpful to have more videos addressing topics on the the issue of finding ways to get counseling, help and support of narrassitic and abusive partners (and the family and friends who encourage their bad behavior). This is especially widespread in the gay community. Thanks.
The production quality is insane!! And whoever writes these jokes is killing me 😂😂😂
*love you Matt*
this reminded me of a date I went on with my ex. We planned ahead of time to go to the mall, an hour into it, one of his friends randomly called him asking him to jam with him at an instrument store on the other side of the town, my ex got excited and immediately asked if he can go, I said we already planned this date, then he made up his mind and told me that he was going and proceeded to leave. Should I have been nice and respected his relationship with his friend and let him go, or should I have taken this as a red flag that he didn't respect our relationship and plan? I ended up going with him, because 1 I didn't want to make him feel that he had to choose between his friend and hobby and I, 2 we planned this date and I wanted to spend time with him and it was ok for me to spend time with him at a different location doing something different, even though that wasn't ideal. But I still felt disrespected.
It's simplistic, but schedules are first-come first-serve. He should have respected your time and stuck with you, and he should have told his friend that he was out with you; his friend should understand that the relationship needs to be respected. The same would hold true if the situation was reversed - if your BFF asked you to come hang with her while you were on a date with your ex, you should prioritize the date with your ex. Your BFF should understand that the relationship needs to be respected.
@@philbrutsche8928 that's how I feel. I would have stayed with him if my bff called me on our date instead
It shows he isn't THAT interested in your time. He could hang out with his friend at any other time, especially considering he had made plans with you already. Always ask yourself what would I do in this situation? If your friend asked you to hang out when you're already out with your partner would you change the plan for your friend? My ex did this and it was because he didn't actually value me or my company enough and thus he is now my ex. People make time for what they want remember that!
That is why he is an EX. Its normal to feel disrespected on that situation and that was very kind of you going out still with him and the friend.
Super Nice 😊
Great video sir, ❤❤❤😘💋🌹❤️❤️❤️
One of these I find extremely difficult because I have autism and get overwhelmed in very busy loud situations like parties. I know this is important because a guy I really liked and who shares my values was put off by my discomfort at a family bbq that I was thrilled to be invited to, but could not cope with when I got there. And I so very much wanted to. A few months after we broke up we went for a coffee and he remembered that he observed I looked ‘petrified’ which was an extremely accurate description. What can I do about this @matthewhussey ? I’m 50 and I have only had 5 dates in the last 15 years (I was housebound and by disability for many of those) and I don’t know what to do. Btw all the other things in the video come as naturally to me as breathing. But social gatherings are frightening.
BTW unlike the example in your video, I didn’t force him to leave, when I left, obviously, that would have been really selfish!
💥💥💥 *05:40** Something I exactly did last year 23-24 March*
Bss
Mathew love the message as always. That shirt looks sloppy with the blazer
Unfortunately most people focus first in the looks and that on the short term blinds you to see the flaws on the partner and to idealize the person .
Being friends before developing feelings for that person shows the oneself authenticity.
Very interesting idol😁
My God that’s really a very smart man🤦♀️
I love you Man!!!!!!
Humans.... we used to "drink" in all aspects of others around us ... talk... laugh and let go a bit for the sake of enjoyment without knowing anything about someone really. Nobody seems to be looking for "someone" anymore to take the leap of dating and the chance to grow together piece by piece.... everyone seems to be searching for "something".... status... money... influence they have.... ect... YET if u back to younger years people actually meet and get to know one at any work.... might NOT be ur type in the beginning, even wrong look ..... BUT in time working together daily u might realize what that person is FOR u as in for ur own confidence, happiness, less worries, better days at work... all kinds of good stuff grown from day one without real effort .... YOU actually just didn't judge too fast and check his/hers bank account as he/she was "only" a coworker pain in the ass first 2 weeks but now means the world to you cause u let go a bit.....
lol..hes funny...id watch ur videos over & over again..
Adam, how do you handle it when a guy tells you NOT to friend his mother? I was being kind to his mom and was told “leave my mom alone”! It was a shock and I felt offended bc she was friendly with my friends.
👍👍👍👍👍👍🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻thank you for this information ❤️
What *I* really want is Matthew Hussey
...how about mirrors on the ceiling???... (to keep a check on your sleep posture, of course....the mattress companies say that's important!)
I love how the comic girl was holding a JavaScript book at some point!!!
Hi
100% agree with you
I just dont care what they want anymore. The whole process is exhausting!
what a mood
I don't either, I clicked for comments. Lol
👏
Are there any suggestions for MEN on how to be better humans, lovers, etc.?
I like your video, but your talking about the woman supporting the man, what about the other way around. We need acknowledgement, feel loved and wanted as a person too. Some men only want to receive, but their short in giving. Matthew please next video should talk more about this please.
This was such a funny video
This took me back to a Mad Men episode when Don had Megan come with him to California, and he fell in love with her because she exhibited the behaviors you just mentioned. Hilarious...
Hello
yeah thats what im like, he said im amazing but hes not ready. cool
What about when I'm not independent yet. In case I don't drive any vehicle. I had accident long time ago I'm so scared now to drive again. That is one of the reason why me & him break up last 2 months.
But now his seeing another woman that has everything like a house, motorbike & a car. Also have a good job. And she's independent. I feel so small.
Reminds me of a 1950’s list of ‘how to keep your man happy’
Really we WOMEN need this micro-managing advice 😳
This is the first video I’ve watched of yours where I think WTF!
I’m loving the hair hahaha
That’s also what women look for in men as well.
Lol i'm watching this video and I'm realizing that my ex was doing a lot of the don'ts, I made the right decision
I've watched all your videos. Downloaded and listened to your audiobook. I'm all the things I'm supposed to be. And yet, my marriage is over- he checked out a long time ago and turns out he was in love with his ex the whole time; 6 years. I moved on with someone new a year later, but turns out *he* wasn't over his ex. And both the girls? The complete opposite of everything people say they should be to be 'irresistable'. I reckon it's me. I'm not lovable. I'm just not.
Perhaps it's because you present yourself as a Generic Woman
@@thecurrentmoment that's just my UA-cam name. You know, it took a lot for me to open up there and admit how I'm feeling- about really painful things that have happened- and you've just really hurt me with that. I think that was really unkind and I didn't deserve it
@@genericwoman3713 I'm sorry for offending you, I only meant to say something lighthearted and humorous.
At the same time why did you choose that as your username? It does sound like a rather sad and insecure name to identify as., often choices like that can be quite telling about people's inner worlds.
Somehow you need to drop the victim mindset that you have - that you are helpless, unlovable, that there's nothing you can do about it, etc. Unfortunately, you will stay stuck until you figure a way out of that. There are far too many people on the internet condoning a victim mindset and it's sad because they just keep people from being proactive and unsticking themselves.
And there is no easy way out, I think you just have to keep trying to understand things and be patient. One day it will make sense, you will see what you have been doing wrong, and what you can do to make things better, and there you go, you take action and make things better.
I think learning from videos like these, and the internet in general can help, even better if you learn from books that have been written by people who actually know that they are talking about and have helped people in similar situations to you.
I doubt that you are inherently unlovable - relationships are complicated things and it's not really obvious why people do what they do, being inherently unlovable is the least likely thing that is happening here. You have only described two people so far, I maybe there are more, but you can hardly project that onto all men. Most likely you have, for some reason, been attracted to something similar between the two and now you have met two in a row like that? What is it about them that attracted you? Maybe there is some common thread to the dynamic between you and men who aren't yet over their ex. Maybe they are very affectionate as a way to get over their hurt from being rejected by their ex. I don't know, but that seems likely. Anyway, if you learn more you will hopefully be able to see what has been happening in your relationships. I suggest learning something along the lines of Attachment Theory more than this dating advice type content. Attachment Theory has a lot of research behind it and explains a lot. But there are other fields to explore too.
@@genericwoman3713 I’m sorry you are feeling unloveable and not of value.
Feeling this way can lead you to alienate and isolate, which will make those unwanted feelings worse.
It may be that the problem is you, but NOT because you’re not of value, and that u don’t have something worth giving to the world, because you are, and you do. I’m suggesting that If a pattern has developed in your life, then u may be choosing partners (at least to some extent) from an unconscious level, & that may have to do with relationships and experiences from early life or some other point in time. It can also be just plain awful luck. But you r worthy. There is only one you, and your the only one who can give the world what you are.
I wish I had something profound to say so that when u read it your pain eased.
I can encourage you to work on yourself. Take time to heal. Find someone to talk to. Workout. Pursue any hobby you have or try some new things out.
I don’t believe it’s the old adage that time heals all wounds, exactly. I think it’s the getting out there and living, & finding meaning.
💙
I think your youtube name is perfectly chosen. Because that could be any women. I did in the past feel that way too! Resented by a lot of men for reasons I couldn't figure. some of these tips he gives are super basic and actually hallmarks of a decent human being. Also not related to gender. AND good for you for stepping up to Dale who was being emotionally dumb af. You're right, you did not deserve it!