I think the problem with a lot of us is that we go after people that from the very beginning clearly show they're not interested in that commitment at this point or EVER! But we choose to ignore it and we stick around thinking they'll change their mind while there's someone just around the corner looking for exactly what we want.
That sounds like mostly a problem that women have because generally the guys women usually really like are the type of guys are hesitant to get into relationships.
And also because its a slight ego issue with us women. We overestimate ourselves.. we take it as a challenge that we will be the girl who he will change for or fall for. but usually that doesn’t happen and instead we just end up broken-hearted and only have ourselves to blame because he already showed us he didn’t want a relationship.
@@sebnemnisanci our type as women is some jerk who mistreats us. That's biology. The happiest marriages I have seen are arranged ones. Half my family is middle eastern, arranged marriages, and half western, mainly divorces. I went for the bad boy who showed his colours after he proposed and everything my dad said I could see, so I ended it before he broke my heart. Then after I met my husband I introduced him casually to my dad as friend. My dad said this one is a good man for you to marry, give him a chance. After a couple months I finally did and he won me over. Such an amazing man. Chemistry dies after two years... but love grows every year. We are together 8 years, married for 6 and so happy. I think women feel entitled that there should be instant chemistry with a complete stranger.... and the only reason there is chemistry that early is danger. We are attracted to bad boys because historically they would protect us from bad animals outside the cave but today we don't need a caveman but a gentleman who can provide and take care of us.... let's be real about that because independence in women is why most marriages fall apart... since women don't know how to be dependent on a man when the baby comes... and as a result the whole thing is anger, resentment ... because motherhood isn't 50-50. Westerners think that they can outrun nature and live according to dreams in their head as opposed to understanding biological reality and working with it.
Just the mere thought that sticking around someone will fall for me... it sounds so self disrespectful and veiwing oneself so unworthy ... girls have a lot to learn...
Playfulness- be playful light and fun Sexiness- show your sexual side slightly, express desire. Nurturing- showing care in a loving way Independence- show your strength, you have a life hobbies and interests . A good strong team mate someone reliable.
I love how it's always about the woman changing for the man. When are the men gonna step up and let us be who we are? I'm not changing who I am and I would rather be single than put up with a douche nozzle
A guy who says I can't be with her because I haven't traveled enough or had enough adventure is looking for an excuse. She can become part of his adventures and travel companion to all those places he hasn't been to yet.
Matt, you are absolutely right about when we are interested in a man we make them wait. Those who are not meaningful we will interact with them because we see them as just friends and they generally stay as friends. The one that we have our heart and mind on we are fearful to reach out and are extremely careful not to mess it up. Sometimes we get to the ridiculous point to even avoid communication at times and just look at a distance at them until we feel secure that we should move forward. That is my experience right now. 😊
You realize anything other than a yes is a no. If you don't talk to him, that's a no. If you tell him, "Not right now, maybe another time," then you just told him no. Answer him with only two to three words? NO! If you play hard to get, that's similar to not interested or a.k.a. NO! Maybe you're not really interested in the guy?
@@Berserker793 I am explaining my situation in my comment about a man I was interested but could not go forward because I was not divorced and he was divorced. Now I'm in the process of divorce but he has a girlfriend. I did not want to pursue him until I was totally available so I kept my distance and never expressed my interest in him because it was useless after he got involved with his current girlfriend, not sure if they are still together. If by any chance he is available in the future, since I am about to get divorced in March or April, and he has nobody else in his life, believe me I will be contacting him and letting him know of my interest. Don't know if he would be interested in me but I will give it a shot. 😊
You can't make somebody want you or like or love you, or want to commit to you. You can't make anybody do anything! Either they're interested in you or they're not! You'll know if someone is into you because it will be very OBVIOUS. If you don't know for sure how they feel about you then they're not really that into you. Because if they are into you you'll know. They'll find ways to let you know. There won't be any question about it. If you're questioning whether he's into you or not...if you even have a need to be questioning at all... if there are any questions then no, the answer is "No, he is not interested in you. If there are any questions about anything to do with your relationship, then the answer to your question is "NO!!" Period. End of story. So quit wasting your time on him if that's the case. Just move on!!!
Well, this works/worked for me... Probably, it differs from one person to another... However, if you have issues being honest with your feelings, you are gonna get hurt; if this is the case I recommend the Healthy Gamer channel' material. Dr. K has reaaaaally good stuff 'bout almost anything.
You should teach this to adolescents in universities! 🙏🏻 A life lesson, that would make life so much easier and could even change lifes... To create awareness of the difference between how men and women think.
5:20-6:00 Hallelujah!!!! 6:30 problem with asking questions is that most people dont give honest answers but the safe ones making them look good. Guy might say he wants a relationship but what might be his main focus really is simply sex
There are more complex scenarios as well. Those who are anxious avoidant can mess with your brain like hell. I just had this experience last month. The guy was showing up like crazy! Even maybe too much, sharing vulnerability, sending me happy boxes making soup when I was sick but didn’t want to tell his rather grown up children he was dating, meet my friends or introduce me to his friends or even sleeping over… lots of contractions also in talking about his future and mine as they were unrelated.. it finally ended after 5 weeks with him saying he is unsure after I prompted him and confronted him a bit. These scenarios are not as clear cut as whether he is investing or not at all … 🙄
I am learning so much from this channel!! Now I can see what I have been doing with not just my relationship but with my entire life. I wasn't investing in something but still wanted an outcome(and made everything other's or circumstance's fault), or I kept investing in things even when I wasn't getting anything out of it( blaming myself.) This is really eye-opening experience. I am so grateful. I really appreciate what Matthew and all of his people are gifting to us.
Its interesting listening to this as my experience has been that when you tell someone that i'm actually trying to find a serious relationship and not out to play games. Then they look at you like your moving too fast and then run away before even letting you have the chance to prove your self.
This lady is so accurate about the dating culture in So Cal. I know because I live here too. People are always looking for the next person or thing. People are not mature, on dating sites, go with multiple people. Very frustrating that so many people are surface people. My parents were married 61 years Hard to find long term partner. I just met a tall handsome, financially stable man in CA. He has alot of good qualities But he was born in India. Well educated, spoken. He is old school, loyal. Most adults now act like children and have Peter Pan syndrome.
First half very relevant to me right now. My partner was definitely not ready... We're in our third year together and he's just starting to warm up and transition to being ready to have a real relationship.
I agree! Men will always sl#t shame bc women have more options and men cannot handle that! If it was an even playing field, they wouldn’t be as bitter!
"A Man cares about a women's past and women cares about a men's future" It's not the "experienced" thing, it's about behavior. With a lot exercised options comes also behavior. And of course the obvious, which man of value is excited to be number 35, 45 or 55 in a women's life. It's not for everybody. And nobody can force your potential partner to discard his preference in someone who did not have a lot party years with party behavior.
You are so right. I was so honest with the previous guy. He was totally into me but friendzoned me for the next half a year. We never got off ground. But he asked. And he wanted me to honest. Oh please. Never again.
I think England is the worst for commitment because people live like perpetual college students here and it breeds immaturity because you constantly have roommates, and just want to work and travel. Coming from North America, we’re mostly independent at 20+ years old and aim for our own home and pay our own bills. Or at least I found dating better there before moving to London 🤷🏼♀️
09:45 Gosh, he felt that enormous reactive jealousy of my mothering relationship with my son, and when I mentioned something of my son's Dad... Four weeks in... And it changed the dynamic hugely as he suddenly showed fear, and started being really critical of me and over the next few weeks, bringing up comparisons with other women in his life/ history. Thanks for helping me understand this 🙏🏼!
If they keep their exes around, there is always opportunity for them to have intimate relations with them. Look at the situation from afar, enjoy 😉 the right one will come 🙂
I personally really hate the idea that a man who is trying to date a woman would get annoyed that it took another guy "less effort" than him to get sex. That implies to me that the first guy isn't really interested in dating, but just sex. I would be very offended by that and would not want to date someone with that mentality. I enjoy sex but if that's the main or only thing a guy who claims to want to be with me seriously wants to get to, I'm dropping him soooo fast.
I once asked a guy: "What a perfect woman should look like, in your opinion?". I was hoping he would name me, but he named some Spanish actress, I had no idea who she was. It was a few months ago and I don't even remember that guy's name now. But I still hate that actress. xD
If I can just get my 'quality time' involving sharing, caring, laughter and bit of silliness IAM A HAPPY WOMAN, I'm learning it's good to know our love languages before getting into a relationship otherwise if the partner we are with can't naturally speak it we spend ages trying to show them, then your life has gone......you won't feel happy with a tonne of compliments if its not your love language . They need to teach teens more in highschool about self awareness and self improvement .....we need to learn these love languages early......sorry bit off topic!!!
To the first clip, Matthew is being slick by protecting her feelings and going on about the guy “being in a different stage of his life”, but let’s be honest it’s simple as “he’s just not into you”. Let’s drop the sugarcoat.
I agree. Sometimes it’s the honesty some women need to hear. It’s also good for women to reflect on themselves too and not just shift the blame onto the men.
How do you know that he is committed? He didn't propose ,he doesn't say that he loves me. His words are just not there but his actions are 💯 We are almost acting like we are in a relationship but are we really?
Actions speak louder than words. He may just not be comfortable with saying the words but if he is proving to you that he loves you then thats what you need... it only becomes an issue if you aren't official after a long period of time - then you just ask.
FWIW, there's nothing wrong with leaving a job or a relationship that isn't working for you. That's not entitlement, it's recognizing your worth. People want to complain about how everything is disposable nowadays but you can look to the past to see people who stayed in dead end careers out of a misplaced loyalty and retired with nothing to show for it. And relationships, my god...the amount of people who stayed in loveless or abusive marriages because of societal judgment is almost incomprehensible by today's standards. I'm forever grateful to have the freedom to purse my heart's desire that my elder relatives lacked.
4 primary traits 1. Playfulness - light, fun, goofy, dancing in a silly way 2. Sexyness - showing your desire, siren eyes, 3. Nurturing - givjng the loving energy 4. Independence - life independent of him, be steong on your own, string team mate
I really do appreciate listening to you, Matthew. I love your passion. I suspect I'm much older than most of your audience. I've been listening to your advice for years. I've been in a tricky situation most of the time and I've aired it in some depth in these comments. Sometimes I get sympathy, now & then a witheringly dismissive remark, but it's all OK. Thanks.
When I was in the early dating stage I got “there’s only one woman I ever wanted to marry.” When I asked what happened he just said “Eh it just didn’t work out. That didn’t tell me anything.. So asking the questions doesn’t always get you an actual answer.
I can relate to hating a thing stemming from jealousy not gonna lie I recently started hating the song Heavenly by CAS because he liked a girls picture titled this not even a week after we hooked up and it’s about love and sex and I can’t even listen to it the same anymore.
Hola Matthew, I respect your job and I wanted to acknowledge you because it had a tremendous change in my life. Thank you for that! However, as much as I love your videos, podcasts, book, private classes(because I tried everything lol) still have this enormous fear about me being a Single mom! I don’t know how to handle it. I feel that most of the guys put me in a box because I have a kid. For me, Even knowing who I am, is still bothering me. This has become into a belief that me being single mom no matter who I become, guys are scared to have a commitment with me. Or am I the one who is scared to commit to myself? I hope you can read me :) You make me better! Cheers!
My intent is to help, but you're gonna need to brace yourself: There are plenty of single men out there who will deal with you, you just need to accept that they're going to be average or below-average guys. It's wired into all males of any species for us to NOT want to put our resources and investment fully into another man's child. Therefore, given the option, most men would rather not commit to a single mom. Therefore, you need the type of man who probably couldn't get the -childless- version of you, because if he could get the childless version of you, he probably already has. Have an honest look at what you bring to the table, boost it up as high as you can, and be able to articulate it to him in a man's language. Then demand less from him than you would if you were childless. I know many an average guy who would rather deal with another man's kid than be alone.
@@j.c.denton5193 You know, the reason is A LOT BIGGER than just "It's biology". One, the child will not respect you as a step-father. "You're not my real dad" sucks to hear, because you can't respond to it without further degrading your self-esteem. Two, if the mother chooses to leave the step-father, he can be liable to not only the standard garbage, but the extra garbage of paying for the child (that isn't his, by the way). Lastly, I'll tell you ONE and only reason why men hesitate so much in committing: "Because committing to a wrong woman is such a HUGE risk" It has nothing to do with "I'm afraid I'll change" lmao. No man actually says that.
11:00 This here ladies. If you’ve been a carrousel in the past, don’t expect any decent guy to be OK with him being the one that was to “wait and prove himself” to you before getting intimate. You only have two options: don’t be a carrousel (ideal), or keep being one and keep a consistent standard. 15:14 Yeah no Matthew. The point is not being about being "experienced", the point is the double-standard of treatment for the guys she doesn’t care to the ones she allegedly does, like you yourself said at 11:00
This is so stupid. It's like telling a heroin addict that because they did heroin on e they should never get clean and have to be addicts for the rest of their lives. Smart people grow from their experiences and learn from their mistakes. How old are you? Hopefully quite young, 20 max.
I love how Matthew babies the callers. "I'm sure you are an intelligent and lovely person..." How would you know this? The lady was rambling on and just wanted to talk on the radio. I doubt she was listening to you at all. But because it is the ladies you have to handle them with kid gloves.
Does it exist a true friendship between you and your ex after a break up? He doesn’t want a relationship but friendship with benefits. Is he trustable?
What's a friendship with benefits? Isn't it having all perks of relationship but running away from responsibilities of relationship. I find it disrespectful. An Ex can be a friend but wouldn't be of a kind you feel secure with coz you already visited the areas of insecurity in them. There would always be a warning signal for getting disappointed or hurt.
I wish there was a way to tell in the thumbnail that it's a string of related old videos, I get so excited for new content but some of these I watched last week
Firstly, you can't persuade, force someone to do anything, especially to fall in love with or commit to us. There is a great saying, "if (s)he wanted to, (s)he would". Any sort of manipulation of other's people emotions is short-sighted and not lasting. Secondly, I need to file a complaint about the poorly styled pillows/cushions on a couch you are sitting on (15:50 and onwards). 😃 They ruin quite a bit of the aesthetic impression, and because of it, I couldn't properly concentrate on the content in this part of the video. 😁
Why did he feel the need to ask the woman if she hooked up with him? Imagine this question coming up every other day/week.. Instead of responding to that, I would answer with a question like why feels the need to ask if i hooked up with him.
I had a guy sleep with me straight away when I didn't try to and he then said I can't have a relationship with someone who slept with me on the first date
There's a difference between sex on the first date (no investment) and jumping through dozens hoops on multiple dates for weeks and months (too much investment). Some guys don't like the behavior of being easy, because they make assumptions about your past behavior which could lead to future worries.
I have to give you my feedback smart well spoken and with an accent hitting all the right notes a lot of talking women like a lot of talking, good advice you like the guy friend that we can talk to. Also your advice is invaluable you’ll never know how much you help other people which is exponential so thank you great job I’ll be watching🧚🏼♂️
Yeah… I learned it’s best not to be totally forthcoming when you tell a guy you really like that you’re into creating a roster of hot guys so you only need to sleep alone if you really want to. Oh look! Here’s one waiting for me under my bed right now! lol But you know… that was just a phase
I LOLed when hearing "Fuck Argentina!" So funny! It's eye-opening to hear a male perspective and to acknowledge how different it is from mine. For example the understanding that taking a woman out on dates is an investment to finally get the woman in bed... It sounds horrible to me, I see hardly any difference to escort women... Hence, I try to pay for myself at the early stages of dating. It takes so much pressure away from me... Many men won't accept that, though Pity
So... what if both of the people involved are non-monogamous and have a different view of commitment? like I do not care who he sleeps with (my only fears are pregnancy and marriage) and he actively wants me to date other people (which I'm fine with, if I could find someone to date) but I still want commitment in that he's willing to call what we have a relationship and be close to me instead of trying to be in this in-between state where he'll openly say he's into me but that it's easier for him to call it just friendship. he's tried to explain his reasoning to me, but I do not get it in the least. Like... the jealousy and past history does not apply but I still want commitment. He's even talked against purity culture and double standards in the past. I mean he's even said that he enjoys talking to me and that he actively wants to improve his relationship with me, so I really don't understand what's happening or if there's anything I can do besides cry about it lol.
Don't settle ever!!!! If you're not happy it doesn't matter what he wants or says. Tell him this doesn't work for you and Tell him your standards what you want and if he won't do it then walk away!!!! End it!!!! Trust me it will save you YEARS of regret later on. You can't get your time back! Don't let him waste your life. Most people who want a relationship don't want to date other people. He is not normal. Don't settle for unhappiness! Believe you deserve better and you will find it. Watch the Toxic Dating coach and Manifest With Jasmine
I'm in relationship with my bf for 2 years now I asked my bf where he see a future with me or relationship and he answered me that he don't know the future what will happen..what I suppose to do next? 😑
*I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart.*
I think the problem with a lot of us is that we go after people that from the very beginning clearly show they're not interested in that commitment at this point or EVER!
But we choose to ignore it and we stick around thinking they'll change their mind while there's someone just around the corner looking for exactly what we want.
That sounds like mostly a problem that women have because generally the guys women usually really like are the type of guys are hesitant to get into relationships.
And also because its a slight ego issue with us women. We overestimate ourselves.. we take it as a challenge that we will be the girl who he will change for or fall for. but usually that doesn’t happen and instead we just end up broken-hearted and only have ourselves to blame because he already showed us he didn’t want a relationship.
@@sebnemnisanci our type as women is some jerk who mistreats us. That's biology. The happiest marriages I have seen are arranged ones. Half my family is middle eastern, arranged marriages, and half western, mainly divorces. I went for the bad boy who showed his colours after he proposed and everything my dad said I could see, so I ended it before he broke my heart. Then after I met my husband I introduced him casually to my dad as friend. My dad said this one is a good man for you to marry, give him a chance. After a couple months I finally did and he won me over. Such an amazing man. Chemistry dies after two years... but love grows every year. We are together 8 years, married for 6 and so happy.
I think women feel entitled that there should be instant chemistry with a complete stranger.... and the only reason there is chemistry that early is danger. We are attracted to bad boys because historically they would protect us from bad animals outside the cave but today we don't need a caveman but a gentleman who can provide and take care of us.... let's be real about that because independence in women is why most marriages fall apart... since women don't know how to be dependent on a man when the baby comes... and as a result the whole thing is anger, resentment ... because motherhood isn't 50-50.
Westerners think that they can outrun nature and live according to dreams in their head as opposed to understanding biological reality and working with it.
Just the mere thought that sticking around someone will fall for me... it sounds so self disrespectful and veiwing oneself so unworthy ... girls have a lot to learn...
Couldn't agree more sister.
Playfulness- be playful light and fun
Sexiness- show your sexual side slightly, express desire.
Nurturing- showing care in a loving way
Independence- show your strength, you have a life hobbies and interests . A good strong team mate someone reliable.
Great to sum it up 😊
P.E.N.I.S.
Playfulness, express, nurture, independence, strength
@@annag467 🤣
I love how it's always about the woman changing for the man. When are the men gonna step up and let us be who we are? I'm not changing who I am and I would rather be single than put up with a douche nozzle
It’s hard for me to be in my feminine im use to bring in my masculine so much but I’m trying so I can show the right men that side💯
A guy who says I can't be with her because I haven't traveled enough or had enough adventure is looking for an excuse. She can become part of his adventures and travel companion to all those places he hasn't been to yet.
Yesss!! I totally agree with you.
Matt, you are absolutely right about when we are interested in a man we make them wait. Those who are not meaningful we will interact with them because we see them as just friends and they generally stay as friends. The one that we have our heart and mind on we are fearful to reach out and are extremely careful not to mess it up. Sometimes we get to the ridiculous point to even avoid communication at times and just look at a distance at them until we feel secure that we should move forward. That is my experience right now. 😊
Mine too
You realize anything other than a yes is a no. If you don't talk to him, that's a no. If you tell him, "Not right now, maybe another time," then you just told him no. Answer him with only two to three words? NO! If you play hard to get, that's similar to not interested or a.k.a. NO!
Maybe you're not really interested in the guy?
@@Berserker793 I am explaining my situation in my comment about a man I was interested but could not go forward because I was not divorced and he was divorced. Now I'm in the process of divorce but he has a girlfriend. I did not want to pursue him until I was totally available so I kept my distance and never expressed my interest in him because it was useless after he got involved with his current girlfriend, not sure if they are still together. If by any chance he is available in the future, since I am about to get divorced in March or April, and he has nobody else in his life, believe me I will be contacting him and letting him know of my interest. Don't know if he would be interested in me but I will give it a shot. 😊
@@camuyana My condolences. I guess I still have so much to learn about women.
@@Berserker793 Thanks.
You can't make somebody want you or like or love you, or want to commit to you. You can't make anybody do anything! Either they're interested in you or they're not! You'll know if someone is into you because it will be very OBVIOUS. If you don't know for sure how they feel about you then they're not really that into you. Because if they are into you you'll know. They'll find ways to let you know. There won't be any question about it. If you're questioning whether he's into you or not...if you even have a need to be questioning at all... if there are any questions then no, the answer is "No, he is not interested in you. If there are any questions about anything to do with your relationship, then the answer to your question is "NO!!" Period. End of story. So quit wasting your time on him if that's the case. Just move on!!!
Looks like Ive never found a true love where we both feel the same...
@@sebnemnisanci spot on
@@sebnemnisanci have you looked into Thais Gibson's videos ...the dynamic you're suggesting you're looking for is secure attachment
Well, this works/worked for me... Probably, it differs from one person to another... However, if you have issues being honest with your feelings, you are gonna get hurt; if this is the case I recommend the Healthy Gamer channel' material. Dr. K has reaaaaally good stuff 'bout almost anything.
Oo
You should teach this to adolescents in universities! 🙏🏻
A life lesson, that would make life so much easier and could even change lifes...
To create awareness of the difference between how men and women think.
P9
5:20-6:00 Hallelujah!!!!
6:30 problem with asking questions is that most people dont give honest answers but the safe ones making them look good. Guy might say he wants a relationship but what might be his main focus really is simply sex
Well thats why it’s your job to see if the actions and words align
@@olivaqueen8002 i need to restore my old bike
There are more complex scenarios as well. Those who are anxious avoidant can mess with your brain like hell.
I just had this experience last month. The guy was showing up like crazy! Even maybe too much, sharing vulnerability, sending me happy boxes making soup when I was sick but didn’t want to tell his rather grown up children he was dating, meet my friends or introduce me to his friends or even sleeping over… lots of contractions also in talking about his future and mine as they were unrelated.. it finally ended after 5 weeks with him saying he is unsure after I prompted him and confronted him a bit. These scenarios are not as clear cut as whether he is investing or not at all … 🙄
I am learning so much from this channel!! Now I can see what I have been doing with not just my relationship but with my entire life. I wasn't investing in something but still wanted an outcome(and made everything other's or circumstance's fault), or I kept investing in things even when I wasn't getting anything out of it( blaming myself.) This is really eye-opening experience. I am so grateful. I really appreciate what Matthew and all of his people are gifting to us.
Its interesting listening to this as my experience has been that when you tell someone that i'm actually trying to find a serious relationship and not out to play games. Then they look at you like your moving too fast and then run away before even letting you have the chance to prove your self.
This lady is so accurate about the dating culture in So Cal.
I know because I live here too.
People are always looking for the next person or thing.
People are not mature, on dating sites, go with multiple people.
Very frustrating that so many people are surface people.
My parents were married 61 years
Hard to find long term partner.
I just met a tall handsome, financially stable man in CA.
He has alot of good qualities
But he was born in India.
Well educated, spoken.
He is old school, loyal.
Most adults now act like children and have Peter Pan syndrome.
I live in rural ohio & it’s like that.
Matthew is so wise and sincere with his words. 🥰
First half very relevant to me right now. My partner was definitely not ready... We're in our third year together and he's just starting to warm up and transition to being ready to have a real relationship.
thank you for the note to men, telling them "to stop slut shaming women"! Bravo Matthew
I agree! Men will always sl#t shame bc women have more options and men cannot handle that! If it was an even playing field, they wouldn’t be as bitter!
"A Man cares about a women's past and women cares about a men's future"
It's not the "experienced" thing, it's about behavior. With a lot exercised options comes also behavior.
And of course the obvious, which man of value is excited to be number 35, 45 or 55 in a women's life. It's not for everybody. And nobody can force your potential partner to discard his preference in someone who did not have a lot party years with party behavior.
"All ive ever wanted was a little bit of everything all of the time,
apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime."
And it is better to dwell in the desert than to live with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.
Matthew is a nice guy, he knows what he wants and that's what he talks about-standards, principles, kindness
Matt i really wish you speak about situation where the "the more you stay the more messy it becomes" and that what happens each time, every time
The last statement was soooo powerful!
I hope men listen to this as well
have very valuable lessons!!
You are so right. I was so honest with the previous guy. He was totally into me but friendzoned me for the next half a year. We never got off ground. But he asked. And he wanted me to honest. Oh please. Never again.
I think England is the worst for commitment because people live like perpetual college students here and it breeds immaturity because you constantly have roommates, and just want to work and travel. Coming from North America, we’re mostly independent at 20+ years old and aim for our own home and pay our own bills. Or at least I found dating better there before moving to London 🤷🏼♀️
If only people were upfront and honest about who they are
Mathew, love your guidance, kindness and charisma! Keep up your wonderful work!
09:45 Gosh, he felt that enormous reactive jealousy of my mothering relationship with my son, and when I mentioned something of my son's Dad... Four weeks in... And it changed the dynamic hugely as he suddenly showed fear, and started being really critical of me and over the next few weeks, bringing up comparisons with other women in his life/ history. Thanks for helping me understand this 🙏🏼!
If they keep their exes around, there is always opportunity for them to have intimate relations with them. Look at the situation from afar, enjoy 😉 the right one will come 🙂
Matthew you are the best online dating coach. ❤
I personally really hate the idea that a man who is trying to date a woman would get annoyed that it took another guy "less effort" than him to get sex. That implies to me that the first guy isn't really interested in dating, but just sex. I would be very offended by that and would not want to date someone with that mentality. I enjoy sex but if that's the main or only thing a guy who claims to want to be with me seriously wants to get to, I'm dropping him soooo fast.
I once asked a guy: "What a perfect woman should look like, in your opinion?". I was hoping he would name me, but he named some Spanish actress, I had no idea who she was. It was a few months ago and I don't even remember that guy's name now. But I still hate that actress. xD
This video has made me laugh so much because it’s so true!!! How is Matt this intelligent?? 🤣🤣🤣
If I can just get my 'quality time' involving sharing, caring, laughter and bit of silliness IAM A HAPPY WOMAN, I'm learning it's good to know our love languages before getting into a relationship otherwise if the partner we are with can't naturally speak it we spend ages trying to show them, then your life has gone......you won't feel happy with a tonne of compliments if its not your love language . They need to teach teens more in highschool about self awareness and self improvement .....we need to learn these love languages early......sorry bit off topic!!!
Asking the right questions is the perfect key looking for the right lock to open.
To the first clip, Matthew is being slick by protecting her feelings and going on about the guy “being in a different stage of his life”, but let’s be honest it’s simple as “he’s just not into you”. Let’s drop the sugarcoat.
Yes and no.. I think it's more about why we choose that person in the first place if their future vision doesn't align with ours?
I agree. Sometimes it’s the honesty some women need to hear. It’s also good for women to reflect on themselves too and not just shift the blame onto the men.
Trust is earned
"MAKE HIM" yeah when ever someone has a claim or promise like that you know its b.s. you can't make anyone do something they don't want to do...facts.
Listen to the man, girls! He knows what he's talking about 😊
Screw Argentinaaa😸😸😸 been here 14 years... Experiences with men here led me to find you Matt! 🙌🏻🙌🏻😸😸😸
How do you know that he is committed? He didn't propose ,he doesn't say that he loves me. His words are just not there but his actions are 💯
We are almost acting like we are in a relationship but are we really?
Actions speak louder than words. He may just not be comfortable with saying the words but if he is proving to you that he loves you then thats what you need... it only becomes an issue if you aren't official after a long period of time - then you just ask.
Good point.
Such speaking from a man is so honest
FWIW, there's nothing wrong with leaving a job or a relationship that isn't working for you. That's not entitlement, it's recognizing your worth. People want to complain about how everything is disposable nowadays but you can look to the past to see people who stayed in dead end careers out of a misplaced loyalty and retired with nothing to show for it. And relationships, my god...the amount of people who stayed in loveless or abusive marriages because of societal judgment is almost incomprehensible by today's standards. I'm forever grateful to have the freedom to purse my heart's desire that my elder relatives lacked.
4 primary traits
1. Playfulness - light, fun, goofy, dancing in a silly way
2. Sexyness - showing your desire, siren eyes,
3. Nurturing - givjng the loving energy
4. Independence - life independent of him, be steong on your own, string team mate
"Screw Argentina", I felt that...:')
@10:40 hit the nail on the head! ALL.OF.IT
"Measure them based on investment."
I really do appreciate listening to you, Matthew. I love your passion. I suspect I'm much older than most of your audience. I've been listening to your advice for years. I've been in a tricky situation most of the time and I've aired it in some depth in these comments. Sometimes I get sympathy, now & then a witheringly dismissive remark, but it's all OK. Thanks.
Conversely if a guy doesn’t care much about someone he may hook up quickly also but is willing to wait for the woman who is worth it.
9:54 "screw Argentina" JAJAJAJAJ ❤
So meaningful content and knowledgeable!!!!
I think I need to liaten to your podcast episodes again while revising my designs for work👏🥰
Screw Argentina lol...come and visit Matt!
Sometimes i fear of technology.
I wish i were part of communities like "Amish".
When I was in the early dating stage I got “there’s only one woman I ever wanted to marry.” When I asked what happened he just said “Eh it just didn’t work out. That didn’t tell me anything.. So asking the questions doesn’t always get you an actual answer.
I can relate to hating a thing stemming from jealousy not gonna lie I recently started hating the song Heavenly by CAS because he liked a girls picture titled this not even a week after we hooked up and it’s about love and sex and I can’t even listen to it the same anymore.
Hola Matthew, I respect your job and I wanted to acknowledge you because it had a tremendous change in my life. Thank you for that! However, as much as I love your videos, podcasts, book, private classes(because I tried everything lol) still have this enormous fear about me being a Single mom! I don’t know how to handle it. I feel that most of the guys put me in a box because I have a kid. For me, Even knowing who I am, is still bothering me. This has become into a belief that me being single mom no matter who I become, guys are scared to have a commitment with me. Or am I the one who is scared to commit to myself? I hope you can read me :)
You make me better! Cheers!
My intent is to help, but you're gonna need to brace yourself: There are plenty of single men out there who will deal with you, you just need to accept that they're going to be average or below-average guys.
It's wired into all males of any species for us to NOT want to put our resources and investment fully into another man's child. Therefore, given the option, most men would rather not commit to a single mom. Therefore, you need the type of man who probably couldn't get the -childless- version of you, because if he could get the childless version of you, he probably already has. Have an honest look at what you bring to the table, boost it up as high as you can, and be able to articulate it to him in a man's language. Then demand less from him than you would if you were childless. I know many an average guy who would rather deal with another man's kid than be alone.
Maybe next time you'll learn not to open your legs to random guys.
@@j.c.denton5193 You know, the reason is A LOT BIGGER than just "It's biology".
One, the child will not respect you as a step-father. "You're not my real dad" sucks to hear, because you can't respond to it without further degrading your self-esteem.
Two, if the mother chooses to leave the step-father, he can be liable to not only the standard garbage, but the extra garbage of paying for the child (that isn't his, by the way).
Lastly, I'll tell you ONE and only reason why men hesitate so much in committing:
"Because committing to a wrong woman is such a HUGE risk"
It has nothing to do with "I'm afraid I'll change" lmao. No man actually says that.
People know that they can replace others so they act as if they don't value you
Don't cry for me Argentina...🤣
11:00 This here ladies. If you’ve been a carrousel in the past, don’t expect any decent guy to be OK with him being the one that was to “wait and prove himself” to you before getting intimate. You only have two options: don’t be a carrousel (ideal), or keep being one and keep a consistent standard.
15:14 Yeah no Matthew. The point is not being about being "experienced", the point is the double-standard of treatment for the guys she doesn’t care to the ones she allegedly does, like you yourself said at 11:00
Ya, no, not quite... Women who may have had a “carousel” past, are allowed to change that and their dating standards and approach.
@@00calimon Of course, and men are allowed to say F U and walk away
This is so stupid. It's like telling a heroin addict that because they did heroin on e they should never get clean and have to be addicts for the rest of their lives. Smart people grow from their experiences and learn from their mistakes. How old are you? Hopefully quite young, 20 max.
What all questions should you ask a guy to find out if he's in the stage of his life where he's ready for a committed relationship or not
I love how Matthew babies the callers. "I'm sure you are an intelligent and lovely person..." How would you know this? The lady was rambling on and just wanted to talk on the radio. I doubt she was listening to you at all.
But because it is the ladies you have to handle them with kid gloves.
Stages or maturity can’t be based on chronological age. There are many 80 year old boys there are out there who fear commitment.
Does it exist a true friendship between you and your ex after a break up? He doesn’t want a relationship but friendship with benefits. Is he trustable?
No he is not. He is using you for Sex. Do yourself a favour and move on - Unless you are happy being a FWB until he finds someone new.
What's a friendship with benefits? Isn't it having all perks of relationship but running away from responsibilities of relationship. I find it disrespectful.
An Ex can be a friend but wouldn't be of a kind you feel secure with coz you already visited the areas of insecurity in them.
There would always be a warning signal for getting disappointed or hurt.
This is exactly the problem I have right now I live in Tampa where is 3m people, no one wants to commit the minute the sense you do they leave
Ahhmazing as always! Happy 2022. Matthew!
I think we are always in competition etc most of my friends got married in there 20s I was still out playing the field etc you have to enjoy life
I just love your super useful videos!
Love this video. Thanks a lot.
I really needed to hear this today, thank you!
I wish there was a way to tell in the thumbnail that it's a string of related old videos, I get so excited for new content but some of these I watched last week
Let me say that we are very nice people in Argentina. 😁😘🤗
Great advice but why is mathew husseys channel so full of very long unskippable ads?
so powerful, thank you for sharing
Firstly, you can't persuade, force someone to do anything, especially to fall in love with or commit to us. There is a great saying, "if (s)he wanted to, (s)he would". Any sort of manipulation of other's people emotions is short-sighted and not lasting.
Secondly, I need to file a complaint about the poorly styled pillows/cushions on a couch you are sitting on (15:50 and onwards). 😃 They ruin quite a bit of the aesthetic impression, and because of it, I couldn't properly concentrate on the content in this part of the video. 😁
You’re so insightful for a guy 😂 thank you
Oh my goodness, Matt that last section... You're so desirable! Love it! Thanks for bringing some sparkle to my day! 😊
what are those three points exactly!?
I say and i feel all the time I am in love with Matthew and his amazing relationship advice
Amazing analogy, amazing video like always!!!⛄❄️💕🎄❄️❄️❄️🤗
Great video, congratulations!
😢😢😢 don't judge if you don't know
Why did he feel the need to ask the woman if she hooked up with him? Imagine this question coming up every other day/week.. Instead of responding to that, I would answer with a question like why feels the need to ask if i hooked up with him.
I had a guy sleep with me straight away when I didn't try to and he then said I can't have a relationship with someone who slept with me on the first date
Good thing the relashioship stopped there, that person clearly have double standar and not worth it....
There's a difference between sex on the first date (no investment) and jumping through dozens hoops on multiple dates for weeks and months (too much investment).
Some guys don't like the behavior of being easy, because they make assumptions about your past behavior which could lead to future worries.
Actually he only did that because he was sleeping with heaps of women
So positive. Thank you
Happy New Year Hussey!!!!🧚♀️
Mashallah tabark alrahman God bless you you are amazing person
The country of Colombia owes me a thermos lid
AJJAAJJA
besos desde Argentina
GRACIAS POR TANTO MATTHEW
The part with the woman admiting sleeping with a guy in a night to a guy she was for months... It was so funny because they do that!! XD
I have to give you my feedback smart well spoken and with an accent hitting all the right notes a lot of talking women like a lot of talking, good advice you like the guy friend that we can talk to. Also your advice is invaluable you’ll never know how much you help other people which is exponential so thank you great job I’ll be watching🧚🏼♂️
you are so funny😄I'm here for your humor and the truth obviously
Yeah… I learned it’s best not to be totally forthcoming when you tell a guy you really like that you’re into creating a roster of hot guys so you only need to sleep alone if you really want to. Oh look! Here’s one waiting for me under my bed right now! lol But you know… that was just a phase
Yes, I hate the place or city 😃
3:17 was that a fart😐
Edit: ok nevermind I think it was the girl on the phone going “mm” 😂😂
If you are careful about spending your mans hard earned money and always try to save him money your man will think he won the lottery.
I LOLed when hearing "Fuck Argentina!" So funny!
It's eye-opening to hear a male perspective and to acknowledge how different it is from mine.
For example the understanding that taking a woman out on dates is an investment to finally get the woman in bed...
It sounds horrible to me, I see hardly any difference to escort women...
Hence, I try to pay for myself at the early stages of dating. It takes so much pressure away from me...
Many men won't accept that, though
Pity
Awesome advice! Thanx 😊
Hi Forisma
How are you today?🌹🌹
@3:17
So... what if both of the people involved are non-monogamous and have a different view of commitment? like I do not care who he sleeps with (my only fears are pregnancy and marriage) and he actively wants me to date other people (which I'm fine with, if I could find someone to date) but I still want commitment in that he's willing to call what we have a relationship and be close to me instead of trying to be in this in-between state where he'll openly say he's into me but that it's easier for him to call it just friendship. he's tried to explain his reasoning to me, but I do not get it in the least. Like... the jealousy and past history does not apply but I still want commitment. He's even talked against purity culture and double standards in the past. I mean he's even said that he enjoys talking to me and that he actively wants to improve his relationship with me, so I really don't understand what's happening or if there's anything I can do besides cry about it lol.
Don't settle ever!!!! If you're not happy it doesn't matter what he wants or says. Tell him this doesn't work for you and Tell him your standards what you want and if he won't do it then walk away!!!! End it!!!! Trust me it will save you YEARS of regret later on. You can't get your time back! Don't let him waste your life. Most people who want a relationship don't want to date other people. He is not normal. Don't settle for unhappiness! Believe you deserve better and you will find it. Watch the Toxic Dating coach and Manifest With Jasmine
3:16 what do I hear? :)
Haha! I'm surprised more people aren't commenting on that!!
I'm in relationship with my bf for 2 years now I asked my bf where he see a future with me or relationship and he answered me that he don't know the future what will happen..what I suppose to do next? 😑
What do you want. Give him an ultimatum
Thank you so much!