The worst is that even if you don't do anything some days you feel you never have any "free" "leizure" time, because you are constantly in this moment of gathering the strength to start doing the thing, and you don't allow yourself to fully give up on it, until you are completly exhausted and it's well past bed time.
My first thought when you asked, "What does ED feel like?" was F R U S T R A T I O N!!! I have been in an executive dysfunctional spiral for the past three days, and it's murrrrrder. I can't seem to focus on _anything_ for long enough to make any headway- even the relaxing fun things. Can't start a new art project. Can't dig in and work on older projects. Can't get any housework done. Can't get any paperwork done. Can't even play GAMES. The second I commit even a little to any of these things, the other things start to tug at my thoughts, overwhelming me.
i immediately started crying when you said compassion. not that I was upset there wasn't some quick fix, it's that I hadn't been giving myself compassion and I just realized that
So many of us grow up thinking we just need more discipline or more motivation or to stop being so lazy...but really, what we need is to love ourselves where we are 💜
Checking in, I cried at that part too, and then saw this comment. One thing I've learned in life is if something gives me a strong emotional response, I need to listen to it and resolve what's there. Glad I'm not the only one you felt something at that part.
Okay but SELF-COMPASSION ACTUALLY HELPS YOU IMPROVE SO FAST!!!! I can attest to this!!!! I used to be so frustrated and beat myself up for my repeated failures, but when I started changing that thought pattern to “okay, today wasn’t the best day, how can I make this easier to do next time…” and looking at each failure as a clue to how to do better or how not to do x, I can improve SO MUCH FASTER because I’m not wasting time wallowing in self-pity and beating my head against a wall and wondering why the thing that works for everyone else doesn’t work for me
🥺- Your making so much sense! Its frustrating being 25 year old woman with this brain! I m super sensitive - everything hurts me or everything is over whelming. But from this video I understand I am not alone. If I feel suicidal- it means so many other people must b feelin this way and they don't deserve nothing less than the best of compassion. Your voice and clarity in explaining the concepts are really helping me address myself. Thankyou so much! Xo
hey girl. Ive been there too and im neurodivergent too (ADHD (dual type), Anxiety, Depression, OCD, Tourrette syndrome, and Dermatillomania) so i get it. If you need anyone to talk to then so many people are here for you and I promise life is soooooooo worth living and it gets better. Besides, when you think about it, life is supposed to be an experience- not a one size fits all happiness explosion. Experiences make us who we are, because of how we react to them and work through them. also if we only felt happiness, we would never actually REALIZE we are happy, because its our norm. In a way im grateful to not be happy all the time, because then nothing in life would ever be special or joyful. It would just be boring and frankly not worth living. So im glad were human and have human emotions!
When a couple of friends who know me very well and are ADHD diagnosed kindly suggested that I might be ND myself I dismissed the idea at first believing that I wouldn't be able to be so successful in my very high pressure job if that was true. But the more I learn about executive dysfunction the more I realise it's exactly WHY I'm good at my job, because everything is genuinely urgent and important. It's only when there is a lull that I struggle to get things done. It's still WILD to me that everyone's brains don't work this way 🤯
I have been the person who noticed every little thing and acted on all of them....and the biggest dummy in the room and everyone was impatient with me. It is how the info is presented and how I am left to act on it, as well as the patience of others around me, whether I will fail or thrive. Fast paced but some autonomy is ok, but entirely verbal and thinking on your feet, or expecting me to make snap decisions? Nope. Aint gonna happen. I only recently realized YES, a girl can be smart and have executive dysfunction at the same time. I thought it was a lie that I was smart because my follow-through and processing was slow.
Laying in my bed, being ashamed of the dirty and messy room I'm in, having a long to-do list on top of that. Yes, I've done very hard things in the past and survived but I don't think I'll ever break this cycle... :/
Hey. 10 months later, I don't know if you've broken the cycle yet, but if you haven't, you will. You are a lovely human and you can take the time you need to break out❤
Since february, so 9 months, I am listening many many videos about ADHD. And that's one of the best tips ever. Because often, even by ADHD people themselves, the tips are "how to press you to do things, with organization +++", but it's exactly what I'm very bad at. So I don't understand how to treat a trouble with the exact thing impossible for this person. To tell me how to organize myself, is the same than explain someone with a broken leg how to run. Maybe in case of extreme emergency this broken leg person would have to run away. So, in case in emergency I can organize things, but definitely not in the every day life. Thank you !
This vide does an excellent job explaining the problem. I feel like I understand my issue better than ever and I understand the need to be patient and compassionate with myself. I'm super grateful for that, but the thing is executive dysfunction and decision making paralysis is seriously impeding my ability to follow my dreams. The years are passing by and I'm wasting so much time. At this rate I feel like I'm going to have so many regrets as I get older.
I describe it like this: my brain is a bag that gets stretched with input, and at a certain level of fullness, stuff starts to fall out. It might be a skill, task or bit of knowledge I have known for years, doesn't matter, it may still fall out of my bag if it becomes too full. Know what stretches the bag beyond its limits fastest? Stress, the impatience of others, and lack of sleep. I cannot perform tasks in front of people who make me nervous. Even things I can excel at when alone.
I have been bullied out of every job I've ever had and I have a hidden disability. This has led me to severe problem like commitment issues and other serious issues. If i had a disability advocate i would be able to sue and probably receive compensation.
I’ve only recently found out that I have ADHD (combined type), and I’m 43. It’s going to take a while to unlearn all the self-hate that I’ve cultivated over the years. But your video was very helpful, now I can also easier explain it to others. Although I’m trying to not giving a 💩 what they think lol
this describes me.. my mom used to call me lazy. my passion is to be a vet technician but it felt as though i couldn't go trough with it.. i did try to go to college but i quit after one semester. i couldnt bare the crowded place,impossible-to find parking, i am a jealous person and it was hard going since i always compared myself to others. its like ever since i was 19, i couldn't do things "normal" pple do. im 27 now and trying to be a vet assistant. ive never worked in my life simply bec of executive dysfunction and anxiety but no one understands. it sometimes sucks being different bec ive always felt misunderstood but you're right self -compassion is a key to help yourself.
Thank you so much for reaching out, I totally hear you on all of this. Are you able to seek therapy at all? It's helped me with the self-compassion so so much.
Its ok, some of us start our careers later, and jobs can be so tough for the neurodivergent mind, especially those lower level jobs most of us start with, like store clerk or food services. College is not for everyone! But I think its realy cool you went back to your dream of working with animals. Good luck and dont give up on yourself but practice self-care!
Completely agreed. For me the real change started when I started to be warm with myself, and giggle at myself in a friendly way. That interaction started to move me forward.
Your video is amazing! I beat myself up so much being told my whole existence so far that I am lazy. I have been diagnosed with ADHD for over 30 years now however no one seems to get it. I am not intentionally putting things off. My brain legit goes for the easiest way to do anything and everything. At work I rock it cuz I hyper focus and knock out way more then expected however my home and whatnot are a disaster. I say I use all my performance energy at work to make money cuz u know how dopamine works and money gets me stuff so gotta make that happen but yeah...I can't wait for a more neurodivergent society to come to fruition. My kids are adhd and on the spectrum so I have started recording things as adhd super powers or spectrum super powers to not discourage them or those of us that are nessicary for full human experience perspectives. Thanks so much!!
I get what she is trying to say, but I take issue with her distinction between laziness and executive dysfunction. “If you want to be doing the thing”. Well, unfortunately in life there are a lot of things we have to do that we don’t want to do, but that we need to. Chores around the house, bills, getting out of bed even. I struggle with ED and my biggest hurdle is translating a desire to have something done, into having the willpower to take the actions to get there.
This is really great, and so uplifting! Subscribed! I'm getting the impression that most brilliant and creative people throughout history have been neurodivergent. We're living, multidimensional beings dealing with a mechanized world.
Hi, I came across a video of yours on TikTok, which lead me to your channel and this video! I just wanted to say: thank you so, so much. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I think I’ve been looking for you and this video my entire life. This is the first time I’ve ever heard of executive dysfunction and I can’t even begin to describe to you what I’m feeling right now. Your channel is the first truly compassionate space I’ve come across in...forever, honestly. I’m absolutely stunned right now.
Oh my goodness, I'm so unbelievably happy you found me and my channel and that this feels like a safe space for you! Welcome to the executive dysfunction gang!
I felt exactly the same! It felt like...like you gave me permission (I know I didn't need permission but still...) to forgive myself for executive dysfunction. A million thank yous.
Your line about remembering Grandma's birthday vs the feeling of your clothing on skin hit a raw nerve lol. Relatable because remembering dates such as birthdays in my mind are weighed the same a daily task such as doing laundry or emptying the cat's litterbox. Family gives me heat for it because I didn't remember their birthdays until the last minute or not at all so they call me and give me grief about how they feel like I don't care about them. I can't explain myself and want to tell them that I DO care and that it is just really really hard to remember everything when my brain just wants to drop every thought, action, task, goal, and feeling on me all at once all the time. The acts of making phone calls are daunting because I have to plan out everything I want to say and talk about as well as my responses and backup topics if I run out of responses. This then causes me to not call people because I can't bring myself over the mental resistance of putting in the time to plan the call. Life is exhausting on so many levels, but I do just fine in most areas where I have overcorrected my behaviors. It is nice to know I'm not alone in this and that some people understand what I go though...
I’ve already started “taking things off the CEO’s desk” By taking out my clothes for the next day before going to bed. I started using a white board to write down things I’ve DONE today! 😃 it’s much better than the overwhelming burden of a to-do list.
It’s funny I read the comments of other people crying. And I am not a crier but when you said I want to help you I instantly started crying I have never truly felt that somebody said that and meant it to me before today
I am so thankful to you for making this video 💚 Thank you so much for elaborating on this and being so kind and compassionate to those who have this. I had been thinking it was just me being lazy but I've been going through a lot rn like losing my father 6 weeks ago and my aunt just yesterday on top of being in a rocky relationship. I've felt so paralyzed with my own tasks, I've experienced this paralysis before but not to thus extend. I'm really happy to finally put a name to it
This video and you are a gem, thank you sooooo much. The thing about self compassion has helped me more in the last few weeks than anything else. Would you be able to suggest a book on self-compassion for neurodivergent people? Thx xx
I have been in this space about my kitchen for a few days now and I really needed this today. I know what it is so at least I know why I am struggling with it but I didn’t know how to get out of the paralysis 😢❤ thank you so much for sharing this
You got a new follower for this video! Your observations really ring true to my own experience and what has worked for me, and I think this is a really important insight and you're expressing it in such a helpful way.
So glad I found you through TT❤! You send me a link to this clip of your UA-cam and as a recently dx AuDHD’er at 37 😢this was so good/heartwarming to hear! Always thinking I was broken…. People think I am lazy/anxious 😢 Will TRY to be more compassionate as I always beated myself up for everything 💖🙏🏻🙏🏻! Thank you!!!
I find that creating habits works - for example, as soon as i finish work i will come home and make lunch for the next day. I keep glass of water to drink first thing in the morning, and when its drunk, immediately fill it back up and put it back. I call it a shoe lace effect, as it becomes an easy habit and you dont have to think about it
I’ve been trying to write a book for 9 months. It should’ve been done months ago. It’s so frustrating to feel like I can’t get things done. I have trouble initiating and finishing tasks.
Notes: Secret - Self compassion, how to? (1). accept yourself - ur brain is different, so different expectations, it's ok to be like this (2). reimagine what success might look like to you - there are different success ways. (3). reconnect what ur needs really are - with knowing exe dysf resee those, (4). restore urself back to ur natural state of being unmasking - do ur stuffs which u stopped for being neurotypical.
I was unable to read a book for the entirety of the time we were going through it for my English class, and it's happening again, I haven't read Romeo and Juliet in the almost 3 months I've had off from class and I just can't, I've been working on it so slowly over the last week and go back in like 5 days I have no idea how to show compassion to myself, not even a little
Great video. And such a good point about being compassionate and patient with yourself in your struggles. I wish though, that people wouldn't use language like "different than everyone else". It makes is seem like you're completely alone with your problems. Maybe "outside or different than the average"?
This is probably off topic and I'm here bc people in my family might have adhd well, abraham hicks says that a great way to improve your self esteem is to stop beating up on yourself, it's unnecessary and it doesn't help.
Okay but forgiving myself for not doing my university papers is not going to get my university papers done, you know? I am going to fail my degree in my final year.
The tips below have been game changing for me. I DID fail out of college, then went back and got As. You've made it this far so you're clearly doing something right!!! Wishing you luck! - *Short* work sessions with a timer (love my visual timer, but any will do!) - Temptation Bundling/doing something fun *immediately* afterwards #PomodoroTechnique (but shorter) #OperantConditioning *The harder the work, the shorter the session & better the rewards!* ; - D - Setting Process to-dos/goals (work on X for Y minutes) instead of Outcome to-dos (NO to "write first draft") so I'm guaranteed a win if I just do the time : - ) - Scheduling work sessions and rewards on calendar - Using reminder alarms to prompt me to do them Feels blech when they go off, but over time, getting wins and rewards has made things easier 😃 - Putting a reminder in my eye line of: What I'm working on (helps me resist distractions) *Why:* 1. BENEFITS of doing it (relief, pride, getting degree), 2. The bad consequences avoided by taking action (anxiety, failing), 3. Encouraging quote or image 4. Immediate reward I get when I'm done : - D - Before starting work, imagining how much better I'll feel when I finish - When I *do* finish, giving myself credit for taking action even though it felt hard : - ) (It's a lot easier to motivate when you let yourself feel your successes!) *Also Helpful:* - Keeping a list of accomplishments and praise and reviewing it to remind myself I CAN do things : - ) - Asking what's helped me succeed in the past and replicating it - Accountability partners/body doubling Can be a friend, roommate, study group, writing lab appointment (free help = awesome!), Focusmate or similar app... - Keeping a piece of paper next to me to jot down distracting thoughts so I can let them go - Using the Worst Case Scenario Exercise to reduce anxiety/lower stakes I dropped out of high school and TWO colleges due to ADHD (and have the Fs to prove it! D'oh!). But I went back and loved it and have had awesome jobs 😃 This video describes a similar story plus some great tips!: "Top 10 Executive Function skills To turn it around" Note: the negative judgments he makes about his former self are textbook Internalized Ableism. That's why it's so important to notice what we're doing *right!* ADHD is fricking HARD and we deserve credit for continuing to try anyway! *Writing Tips* - Reverse engineering the topic based on whatever I have the best evidence for - Data dumping ideas on paper in no particular order - Writing whatever feels easiest first - Writing the introduction *after* I've written the paper and actually know what it's about ; - D - Finishing the first draft before polishing/editing - Coming up with a question to ask professors to let them know you're struggling *before* the due date. They may actually be able to help, and at minimum it lets them know you were trying in case you have to beg for mercy later ; - ) - *Cheesing it out!* A bad paper is better than no paper if it gets you credit for the course! This advice brought to you by the history professor who kept me from tanking a semester's worth of work over one frigging paper! ; - ) I believe in you!😃Wishing you good luck and godspeed!🍀
I hate that it just makes me feel hopeless, I've gone to counseling and I worked through my trauma but I don't think this is what that is. I want to do well, I want to be able to study and focus and learn. I hate that I can't just do the thing without a war of step 1 stand up, step 2 get everything you need. Step 3 open your books. Step 4 try and focus and do notes till you want to gouge your eyes out because you can't focus. I don't have adhd or ADD and I'm not depressed so what is this. Why can't I do the thing!
Idk about the thing you said about not wanting to do something and it not being executive dysfunction. The thing i get told a lot is that people do things they dont want to all the time. I truly struggle to, thats executive dysfunction for me. I convinced myself I didnt want to do anything because that really is the underlying thing. I believe my executive dysfuction stops me from starting the thing at times. Thing i notice was i dont mind doing the thing when im doing it, but the steps it takes to get to that point is whats difficult for me. I wanted to comment this because someone who had that same realization may think they are lazy after hearing that. I had that slight thought but ik im not lazy and also that you were not trying to say that at all. Im bad at starting tasks due to executive dysfunction maybe thats the case for others as well. 😅 please dont come for me there really is no malace here. Just trying to maybe help someone like me. I clicked this video in hopes to find something that would help me work with my executive dysfunction. I've figured out the compassion part and acceptance.
If i don't compare myself to others where in my life should i be? I need a reference point to move forward to. I have no idea where to go in my life as a plan kinda thing...
This might sound cliche but where do YOU WANT to go? Everyone else is doing what they want without comparing to you, so why should you give up your autonomy of choice of how to live your life based on the others? You can look at them for ideas, but ask yourself if it's REALLY what you WANT, or if it's actually just what society expects of you and you've convinced yourself that you want it, but really don't. No one else is living your life for you, only you are steering your ship. Be your own Captain and make your own life-plan. Do you even want to get married or have kids? You don't have to if you don't want to. Do you really want to live in the same house for 30 years? Maybe that sounds nice to you, maybe that sounds suffocating and trapping. Everyone will feel differently about everything, so the only person you can base your life path on is yourself. But alsi, life has a way of changing course in unexpected ways, prepare to modify your plan accordingly. ❤
I listened to a song named executive dysfunction and yk I was like “hey I kinda relate” It’s kinda ironic how I found out I had this from a song 💀 I am autistic though so yah now I know.. “Bad for feeling bad” is that technically what I mean then when I say “I’m crying cause I’m crying?” I guess so. I mean it sends me in a loop for a hour sometimes before calming down and having all the leftover adrenaline making me yap like a dog 👍 Yh if ur autistic and mask a lot I’d recommend executive dysfunction by banshee not only relatable but it’s a bop
Executive dysfunction refers to challenges with planning, organization, time management, self-regulation, and cognitive flexibility. To overcome executive dysfunction, consider the following strategies: 1. Break tasks into smaller steps 2. Use calendars, to-do lists, and reminders 3. Create routines and rituals 4. Practice time management techniques like the Pomodoro Technique 5. Use visual aids like diagrams, flowcharts, and mind maps 6. Develop a daily routine to establish structure 7. Use technology, such as apps and alarms, to stay organized 8. Practice self-regulation techniques like deep breathing and mindfulness 9. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist 10. Celebrate small accomplishments to build motivation 11. Identify and challenge negative self-talk 12. Develop problem-solving skills 13. Practice flexibility and adaptability 14. Use positive self-talk and affirmations 15. Take breaks and prioritize self-care Remember, overcoming executive dysfunction takes time, patience, and practice. Be gentle with yourself and seek support when needed.
Can I ask for your advice. Before immigration I felt like I have some instability between being hyperworking or hyperlazy, between inability to socialize and being the most attention attracting. But after the whole stress of migration has revealed to me that all these are mental health problems. I need advice of how people with most basic insurance get to a psychiatrist in the US. It feels like it an overwhelmingly big task to tackle.
I guess i had that ywats ago and a woman told me just open your eyes look in front of you and see what needs doing and do thatm and i statted and kept going and at that time i had a ton of puppies shitting everywhere and pice and all i did for three months was bleach everything constantly and feed animals ans kids and it was hell..now i just do what needs doing that i can see needs soing till i am tired and then i do something else and then if i have a bright idea i will do that. And ither than that i dont plan anything i just do what needs doing. And it seems thats what most peopke sre doing anyway. I cant start or finish womens work cos its never done but i can keep doing those things happily when i dont feek a newd to finish cleaning the house. Its never going to be clean but you just keeo cleaning. Im never going to finish raising my kids. Im never going to finsih decorating the house or finish the garden. The dies of finishing is just not a normal thing that haooens in life. Its a fantasy nobody gets to a finish line so dont worry about it.
I like your video idea but only problem I have with this, is that there's no need to change definitions to accept reality. I'm more than willing to say that I have a mental disability and I need to deal with it. I'm not normal and I'll deal with as best to keep up. There's no compassion in lying to oneself and forcing the world to go along with it. Don't slow down on my account, if I can't keep up, I'll step to the side.
Does anyone here know whether the commentator has a opinion about treating a treat ADHD with or without meds? I’m guessing since she cannot diagnose, these tips can be helpful. Whether medication is involved or not. But I’m wondering if she thinks that these tips and techniques can help people cope while trying to remove medication from their lives.
Skillful use of triangulation to leverage your legitimate tribulations in order to preemptively justify shaming characterizations gainst others claiming victimhood as an excuse for inaction on difficult but crucial responsibilities …. It’s a fascinating social tactic to publicly denounce others for employing transactional use of misfortune to justify/excuse neglecting difficult responsibilities of one’s childcare role, while blatantly using one’s own misfortunes as a transactional justification to neglecting the difficult responsibilities of one’s own childcare role!
Agreed. All of us can point to differences we have or past negative experiences that legitimately impact on our lives in a negative state. The majority of us try to find a way to work around the issues, rather than resorting to wallowing in victimhood, which achieves nothing. Accepting but nothing practical about it feels comforting in the moment but makes you feel worse in the long run. Which is then labelled as depression. Negative self sabotaging spiral. None of the world's ancient philosophers or religions ever advocated shrugging your shoulders the burying your head in the sand. I'd identify as an executive dysfunctionalist, but I recognise that if I don't impose some compensatory counter balance strategies, life will impose consequences. It's not in my best interests to re-label procrastination or inertia (for whatever reason) as self-care. Not if I want to thrive and be happy. Ralph Waldo Emerson said "I must bury myself in action, lest I wither in despair" (or something like that). "Know thyself" was Socrates core advice. Not just so we can manage ourselves better, for the good, but also about being honest with oneself. Self knowledge that leads to accountability, rather than a victim mentality, that only leads to further unhappiness. I say this as someone who has procrastinated for too much of today (these comments being self evident!) and now, out of "self compassion and self care" has to catch up on what I should have done hours ago, in my own best interests. 😊
Why should I have compassion for myself if I'm not living up to the standards that I need to. It's not ok that I sit on the couch and don't go to work. It's not ok that I can't learn and remember the things that are important to my life and job. Ugh I don't understand why my doctor won't just give me a attention medicine so I can remember things
Unfortunately, things aren't black and white. To me, personally, if someone is an asshole, I'd rather call them lazy. Idk. It's the will to do. I want to do many things for the ones i love, but i can Barely take care of myself. But I've been definitely trying and doing as much as i can atm. On the other hand, i don't really know. I'll just judge based on asshole-ness?
can you please fix your sound balancing. i have to turn the volume up to 80 just to hear your voice, and then back down to 20 because of the sudden loud music. this interfered with my ability to focus on your video and i couldnt understand anything. im sorry im not trying to be mean, im just in a really bad place right now and video after video from many different youtubers are having this problem
I've today watched a few of these videos and am somewhat concerned that one person's interpretation of their feelings and experiences is being portrayed as factual analysis and diagnosis, rather than a person opinion. Statements like "We don't know why...", "We don't totally understand" etc etc, as if you are part of a body of accredited experts, diagnostics or researchers. You are a UA-cam vlogger presenting videos expressing your own opinions and experiences. That's fine but it should be more clearly stated that this is ultimately your personal, unregulated, opinion. You haven't been formally diagnosed, nor are you a trained professional. I understand that people may seek labels and identities to make them feel more secure or understood but it can be dangerous to express opinions as facts, expecially when advocating self diagnosis, without accountabilty.
You all (who buy the existence of this made-up condition) should know that there are countries in THIS world where there is no such a thing as “executive disfunction” or other made-up by crafty psychiatrists “conditions that need special treatment”. So no, this “condition” is a good old laziness and anyone who puts some effort to beat it, sometimes via someone else (like family member) getting involved, that’ll do in most cases! That’s what it takes to overcome it. Depending on a specific situation of course. Like if you never fully understood a lesson teacher gave you, you WILL have a problem executing the homework, being lazy or not. How do you fix this? You shouldn’t be shy about asking questions to your teacher right there and then! Until you make sure you understand entire topic before teacher moves to next one. BUT! This effort must be taught at early age. So let’s say when you are taught basic Arithmetics when you are 7 you should already know about the importance of asking questions and pursuing the understanding of what you’ve been taught. If you were not taught THIS, then you are guaranteed to have problems comprehending more complex subjects, like Algebra and Geometry in later school years. So, for parents and teachers: teach the importance of asking questions whenever even a bit of detail is not understood! This is golden! If this is done different ways but child still has problem comprehending, it may be because of other (genuine) issue, like ADHD. Or, it may not be any issue at all and either teacher is not professional enough to explain well, or child simply is not interested in learning this specific subject, while that same child eagerly learns something else. Regarding not doing chores in a timely manner: this is nothing but laziness and minimal effort (by yourself or someone else providing necessary pressure) should be enough to fix it, and there’s no need to make up other “titles” for it. For psychiatrists (specifically American analysts): Enough with f-ing with people’s brains! If you truly want to help, simply tell what it is and as it is! Whether it is a good old laziness, or other already known “condition” :) You won’t sound more professional by inventing extra titles for every normal human behavior!
This describes my entire life lol it's so frustrating because not only do I procrastinate the things I have to do, but the things I actually WANT to do. The point about self compassion is huge!! I'd like to recommend Dr. Shauna Shapiro's book Good Morning, I Love You to others experiencing this! (And everyone, honestly). She's a neuroscientist who got into it because she wanted to study the effects of mindfulness on the brain, and her tips are so good for the soul as well as executive dysfunction! For example, the 1% principle. Helped me a lot a few years ago and now I'm inspired to refresh my mindfulness practice. Thank you for these videos! 🩷
The worst is that even if you don't do anything some days you feel you never have any "free" "leizure" time, because you are constantly in this moment of gathering the strength to start doing the thing, and you don't allow yourself to fully give up on it, until you are completly exhausted and it's well past bed time.
One thing I learned about executive dysfunction is that there’s no need to beat yourself up for it because others will already do it for you, lol
Underrated comment bro 😂
Lmao I felt this so hard 😂
SO true! 😢
Yup im chillin over here 😂
For real
My first thought when you asked, "What does ED feel like?" was F R U S T R A T I O N!!! I have been in an executive dysfunctional spiral for the past three days, and it's murrrrrder. I can't seem to focus on _anything_ for long enough to make any headway- even the relaxing fun things. Can't start a new art project. Can't dig in and work on older projects. Can't get any housework done. Can't get any paperwork done. Can't even play GAMES. The second I commit even a little to any of these things, the other things start to tug at my thoughts, overwhelming me.
I feel the same now, even though I' m still not sure, if I have ADHD. Can't go to walk with my kids, can't do any work
Three days..cute
i immediately started crying when you said compassion. not that I was upset there wasn't some quick fix, it's that I hadn't been giving myself compassion and I just realized that
So many of us grow up thinking we just need more discipline or more motivation or to stop being so lazy...but really, what we need is to love ourselves where we are 💜
i started crying like a baby too
i wasn't prepared for this much validation
You deserve time, patience and self-love!!
Checking in, I cried at that part too, and then saw this comment. One thing I've learned in life is if something gives me a strong emotional response, I need to listen to it and resolve what's there. Glad I'm not the only one you felt something at that part.
Okay but SELF-COMPASSION ACTUALLY HELPS YOU IMPROVE SO FAST!!!! I can attest to this!!!! I used to be so frustrated and beat myself up for my repeated failures, but when I started changing that thought pattern to “okay, today wasn’t the best day, how can I make this easier to do next time…” and looking at each failure as a clue to how to do better or how not to do x, I can improve SO MUCH FASTER because I’m not wasting time wallowing in self-pity and beating my head against a wall and wondering why the thing that works for everyone else doesn’t work for me
YES!!!!
❤
Man, I’ve been trying self-compassion 😪 Why does it work for everyone else but not me :(
hard
Omg yes. It is like suddenly i feel more at ease and feel comforted. Tho its not easy to remember it >w
This is me. I am caught in a paralyzed shame spiral.
🥺- Your making so much sense!
Its frustrating being 25 year old woman with this brain!
I m super sensitive - everything hurts me or everything is over whelming. But from this video I understand I am not alone. If I feel suicidal- it means so many other people must b feelin this way and they don't deserve nothing less than the best of compassion.
Your voice and clarity in explaining the concepts are really helping me address myself. Thankyou so much! Xo
I hope your process is revealing and we are all rooting for you! You deserve to be comfortable in your brain and heart!
Hope you're still here 💗. I've been suicidal too. Live is worth living.
hey girl. Ive been there too and im neurodivergent too (ADHD (dual type), Anxiety, Depression, OCD, Tourrette syndrome, and Dermatillomania) so i get it. If you need anyone to talk to then so many people are here for you and I promise life is soooooooo worth living and it gets better. Besides, when you think about it, life is supposed to be an experience- not a one size fits all happiness explosion. Experiences make us who we are, because of how we react to them and work through them. also if we only felt happiness, we would never actually REALIZE we are happy, because its our norm. In a way im grateful to not be happy all the time, because then nothing in life would ever be special or joyful. It would just be boring and frankly not worth living. So im glad were human and have human emotions!
When a couple of friends who know me very well and are ADHD diagnosed kindly suggested that I might be ND myself I dismissed the idea at first believing that I wouldn't be able to be so successful in my very high pressure job if that was true. But the more I learn about executive dysfunction the more I realise it's exactly WHY I'm good at my job, because everything is genuinely urgent and important. It's only when there is a lull that I struggle to get things done. It's still WILD to me that everyone's brains don't work this way 🤯
I have been the person who noticed every little thing and acted on all of them....and the biggest dummy in the room and everyone was impatient with me. It is how the info is presented and how I am left to act on it, as well as the patience of others around me, whether I will fail or thrive. Fast paced but some autonomy is ok, but entirely verbal and thinking on your feet, or expecting me to make snap decisions? Nope. Aint gonna happen. I only recently realized YES, a girl can be smart and have executive dysfunction at the same time. I thought it was a lie that I was smart because my follow-through and processing was slow.
@@catherinecrawford2289 I feel you 💜
@@catherinecrawford2289Don't feel bad about not recognizing it sooner. I had a psychologist tell me I couldn't have ADHD because I was smart
Laying in my bed, being ashamed of the dirty and messy room I'm in, having a long to-do list on top of that. Yes, I've done very hard things in the past and survived but I don't think I'll ever break this cycle... :/
Hey. 10 months later, I don't know if you've broken the cycle yet, but if you haven't, you will. You are a lovely human and you can take the time you need to break out❤
Since february, so 9 months, I am listening many many videos about ADHD. And that's one of the best tips ever. Because often, even by ADHD people themselves, the tips are "how to press you to do things, with organization +++", but it's exactly what I'm very bad at. So I don't understand how to treat a trouble with the exact thing impossible for this person. To tell me how to organize myself, is the same than explain someone with a broken leg how to run. Maybe in case of extreme emergency this broken leg person would have to run away. So, in case in emergency I can organize things, but definitely not in the every day life. Thank you !
Hey just wanted to say as a neurodivergent person the way you talk and what you talk about is extremely helpful!
I'm so so glad to hear that!!!
This vide does an excellent job explaining the problem. I feel like I understand my issue better than ever and I understand the need to be patient and compassionate with myself. I'm super grateful for that, but the thing is executive dysfunction and decision making paralysis is seriously impeding my ability to follow my dreams. The years are passing by and I'm wasting so much time. At this rate I feel like I'm going to have so many regrets as I get older.
Secretary and CEO is a great analogy!
I describe it like this: my brain is a bag that gets stretched with input, and at a certain level of fullness, stuff starts to fall out. It might be a skill, task or bit of knowledge I have known for years, doesn't matter, it may still fall out of my bag if it becomes too full. Know what stretches the bag beyond its limits fastest? Stress, the impatience of others, and lack of sleep. I cannot perform tasks in front of people who make me nervous. Even things I can excel at when alone.
This is a great description, very accurate
I have been bullied out of every job I've ever had and I have a hidden disability. This has led me to severe problem like commitment issues and other serious issues. If i had a disability advocate i would be able to sue and probably receive compensation.
Goodness I feel seen!
I’ve only recently found out that I have ADHD (combined type), and I’m 43. It’s going to take a while to unlearn all the self-hate that I’ve cultivated over the years. But your video was very helpful, now I can also easier explain it to others. Although I’m trying to not giving a 💩 what they think lol
this describes me.. my mom used to call me lazy. my passion is to be a vet technician but it felt as though i couldn't go trough with it.. i did try to go to college but i quit after one semester. i couldnt bare the crowded place,impossible-to find parking, i am a jealous person and it was hard going since i always compared myself to others.
its like ever since i was 19, i couldn't do things "normal" pple do. im 27 now and trying to be a vet assistant. ive never worked in my life simply bec of executive dysfunction and anxiety but no one understands. it sometimes sucks being different bec ive always felt misunderstood but you're right self -compassion is a key to help yourself.
Thank you so much for reaching out, I totally hear you on all of this. Are you able to seek therapy at all? It's helped me with the self-compassion so so much.
Its ok, some of us start our careers later, and jobs can be so tough for the neurodivergent mind, especially those lower level jobs most of us start with, like store clerk or food services. College is not for everyone! But I think its realy cool you went back to your dream of working with animals. Good luck and dont give up on yourself but practice self-care!
Helpful. Thank you. I, for one, LOVE that 'being yourself' and compassion is the most effective answer. That was actually a great relief.
Completely agreed. For me the real change started when I started to be warm with myself, and giggle at myself in a friendly way. That interaction started to move me forward.
Your video is amazing! I beat myself up so much being told my whole existence so far that I am lazy. I have been diagnosed with ADHD for over 30 years now however no one seems to get it. I am not intentionally putting things off. My brain legit goes for the easiest way to do anything and everything. At work I rock it cuz I hyper focus and knock out way more then expected however my home and whatnot are a disaster. I say I use all my performance energy at work to make money cuz u know how dopamine works and money gets me stuff so gotta make that happen but yeah...I can't wait for a more neurodivergent society to come to fruition. My kids are adhd and on the spectrum so I have started recording things as adhd super powers or spectrum super powers to not discourage them or those of us that are nessicary for full human experience perspectives. Thanks so much!!
Yes, I also found that. Compassion is the only thing that gives me some boost.
I get what she is trying to say, but I take issue with her distinction between laziness and executive dysfunction. “If you want to be doing the thing”. Well, unfortunately in life there are a lot of things we have to do that we don’t want to do, but that we need to. Chores around the house, bills, getting out of bed even. I struggle with ED and my biggest hurdle is translating a desire to have something done, into having the willpower to take the actions to get there.
This is really great, and so uplifting! Subscribed! I'm getting the impression that most brilliant and creative people throughout history have been neurodivergent. We're living, multidimensional
beings dealing with a mechanized world.
Hi, I came across a video of yours on TikTok, which lead me to your channel and this video! I just wanted to say: thank you so, so much. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I think I’ve been looking for you and this video my entire life. This is the first time I’ve ever heard of executive dysfunction and I can’t even begin to describe to you what I’m feeling right now. Your channel is the first truly compassionate space I’ve come across in...forever, honestly. I’m absolutely stunned right now.
Oh my goodness, I'm so unbelievably happy you found me and my channel and that this feels like a safe space for you! Welcome to the executive dysfunction gang!
I felt exactly the same! It felt like...like you gave me permission (I know I didn't need permission but still...) to forgive myself for executive dysfunction. A million thank yous.
@@Brittaknee23 You're right, you don't need permission, but boom, now you have it anyway. Sending love 💜💜💜
My PTSD has led to executive dysfunction and I struggle with it most days. Please expand your reach to us too; we are not neurodivergent ❤
Your line about remembering Grandma's birthday vs the feeling of your clothing on skin hit a raw nerve lol. Relatable because remembering dates such as birthdays in my mind are weighed the same a daily task such as doing laundry or emptying the cat's litterbox. Family gives me heat for it because I didn't remember their birthdays until the last minute or not at all so they call me and give me grief about how they feel like I don't care about them. I can't explain myself and want to tell them that I DO care and that it is just really really hard to remember everything when my brain just wants to drop every thought, action, task, goal, and feeling on me all at once all the time. The acts of making phone calls are daunting because I have to plan out everything I want to say and talk about as well as my responses and backup topics if I run out of responses. This then causes me to not call people because I can't bring myself over the mental resistance of putting in the time to plan the call. Life is exhausting on so many levels, but I do just fine in most areas where I have overcorrected my behaviors. It is nice to know I'm not alone in this and that some people understand what I go though...
I can totally related to this, my cause long term stress, insomnia, burnout (Something new for me). Thanks for posting
I’ve already started “taking things off the CEO’s desk”
By taking out my clothes for the next day before going to bed. I started using a white board to write down things I’ve DONE today! 😃 it’s much better than the overwhelming burden of a to-do list.
Love this!
You might want to Google interstitial journal
Thanks. Made me cry.
It’s funny I read the comments of other people crying. And I am not a crier but when you said I want to help you I instantly started crying I have never truly felt that somebody said that and meant it to me before today
I am so thankful to you for making this video 💚 Thank you so much for elaborating on this and being so kind and compassionate to those who have this. I had been thinking it was just me being lazy but I've been going through a lot rn like losing my father 6 weeks ago and my aunt just yesterday on top of being in a rocky relationship. I've felt so paralyzed with my own tasks, I've experienced this paralysis before but not to thus extend. I'm really happy to finally put a name to it
The secretary analogy was golden.
This video and you are a gem, thank you sooooo much. The thing about self compassion has helped me more in the last few weeks than anything else. Would you be able to suggest a book on self-compassion for neurodivergent people? Thx xx
I have been in this space about my kitchen for a few days now and I really needed this today. I know what it is so at least I know why I am struggling with it but I didn’t know how to get out of the paralysis 😢❤ thank you so much for sharing this
Thank you ❤ you articulated how i felt for decades
Thank you so much for making this video!
I see how compassion helps someone feel better about themselves. I don't see how it helps them get things done.
You got a new follower for this video! Your observations really ring true to my own experience and what has worked for me, and I think this is a really important insight and you're expressing it in such a helpful way.
Thank you for a great video! ❤
Thank you. ❤
absolutely ❤
Thank you 🙏🏻 ❤
Thank you so much for this video. It helped so much
So glad I found you through TT❤! You send me a link to this clip of your UA-cam and as a recently dx AuDHD’er at 37 😢this was so good/heartwarming to hear! Always thinking I was broken…. People think I am lazy/anxious 😢 Will TRY to be more compassionate as I always beated myself up for everything 💖🙏🏻🙏🏻! Thank you!!!
I don't want to condemn myself to this nor I want to accept it, I want a better life for myself
I find that creating habits works - for example, as soon as i finish work i will come home and make lunch for the next day. I keep glass of water to drink first thing in the morning, and when its drunk, immediately fill it back up and put it back. I call it a shoe lace effect, as it becomes an easy habit and you dont have to think about it
I’ve been trying to write a book for 9 months. It should’ve been done months ago. It’s so frustrating to feel like I can’t get things done. I have trouble initiating and finishing tasks.
External deadlines work better for me
Notes: Secret - Self compassion, how to? (1). accept yourself - ur brain is different, so different expectations, it's ok to be like this (2). reimagine what success might look like to you - there are different success ways. (3). reconnect what ur needs really are - with knowing exe dysf resee those, (4). restore urself back to ur natural state of being unmasking - do ur stuffs which u stopped for being neurotypical.
I was sold at: LAZINESS DOESN’T ACTUALLY EXIST
I was unable to read a book for the entirety of the time we were going through it for my English class, and it's happening again, I haven't read Romeo and Juliet in the almost 3 months I've had off from class and I just can't, I've been working on it so slowly over the last week and go back in like 5 days
I have no idea how to show compassion to myself, not even a little
O M G
THANK YOU❤
Remi Clog Cleans talked about this topic .. shes an awesome young woman
You made me cry. I just came out of executive dysfunction a few minutes ago, and this video made me feel so valid.
Great video. And such a good point about being compassionate and patient with yourself in your struggles. I wish though, that people wouldn't use language like "different than everyone else". It makes is seem like you're completely alone with your problems. Maybe "outside or different than the average"?
Guess who used to be that secretary??? And now I am sure I know why. Yes, I was the executive assistant with executive disfunction 😮
This is probably off topic and I'm here bc people in my family might have adhd well, abraham hicks says that a great way to improve your self esteem is to stop beating up on yourself, it's unnecessary and it doesn't help.
Okay but forgiving myself for not doing my university papers is not going to get my university papers done, you know? I am going to fail my degree in my final year.
The tips below have been game changing for me. I DID fail out of college, then went back and got As. You've made it this far so you're clearly doing something right!!! Wishing you luck!
- *Short* work sessions with a timer (love my visual timer, but any will do!)
- Temptation Bundling/doing something fun *immediately* afterwards
#PomodoroTechnique (but shorter) #OperantConditioning
*The harder the work, the shorter the session & better the rewards!* ; - D
- Setting Process to-dos/goals (work on X for Y minutes) instead of Outcome to-dos (NO to "write first draft") so I'm guaranteed a win if I just do the time : - )
- Scheduling work sessions and rewards on calendar
- Using reminder alarms to prompt me to do them
Feels blech when they go off, but over time, getting wins and rewards has made things easier 😃
- Putting a reminder in my eye line of:
What I'm working on (helps me resist distractions)
*Why:*
1. BENEFITS of doing it (relief, pride, getting degree),
2. The bad consequences avoided by taking action (anxiety, failing),
3. Encouraging quote or image
4. Immediate reward I get when I'm done : - D
- Before starting work, imagining how much better I'll feel when I finish
- When I *do* finish, giving myself credit for taking action even though it felt hard : - )
(It's a lot easier to motivate when you let yourself feel your successes!)
*Also Helpful:*
- Keeping a list of accomplishments and praise and reviewing it to remind myself I CAN do things : - )
- Asking what's helped me succeed in the past and replicating it
- Accountability partners/body doubling
Can be a friend, roommate, study group, writing lab appointment (free help = awesome!), Focusmate or similar app...
- Keeping a piece of paper next to me to jot down distracting thoughts so I can let them go
- Using the Worst Case Scenario Exercise to reduce anxiety/lower stakes
I dropped out of high school and TWO colleges due to ADHD (and have the Fs to prove it! D'oh!). But I went back and loved it and have had awesome jobs 😃
This video describes a similar story plus some great tips!:
"Top 10 Executive Function skills To turn it around"
Note: the negative judgments he makes about his former self are textbook Internalized Ableism. That's why it's so important to notice what we're doing *right!*
ADHD is fricking HARD and we deserve credit for continuing to try anyway!
*Writing Tips*
- Reverse engineering the topic based on whatever I have the best evidence for
- Data dumping ideas on paper in no particular order
- Writing whatever feels easiest first
- Writing the introduction *after* I've written the paper and actually know what it's about ; - D
- Finishing the first draft before polishing/editing
- Coming up with a question to ask professors to let them know you're struggling *before* the due date. They may actually be able to help, and at minimum it lets them know you were trying in case you have to beg for mercy later ; - )
- *Cheesing it out!*
A bad paper is better than no paper if it gets you credit for the course!
This advice brought to you by the history professor who kept me from tanking a semester's worth of work over one frigging paper! ; - )
I believe in you!😃Wishing you good luck and godspeed!🍀
oh new subscriber btw thank you
I am a receptionist without my own secretary!
3:28
So. Relatable. Omg. Yes.
I ugly cried like 3 times and this was an 9min video 😂
I hate that it just makes me feel hopeless, I've gone to counseling and I worked through my trauma but I don't think this is what that is. I want to do well, I want to be able to study and focus and learn. I hate that I can't just do the thing without a war of step 1 stand up, step 2 get everything you need. Step 3 open your books. Step 4 try and focus and do notes till you want to gouge your eyes out because you can't focus. I don't have adhd or ADD and I'm not depressed so what is this. Why can't I do the thing!
Idk about the thing you said about not wanting to do something and it not being executive dysfunction. The thing i get told a lot is that people do things they dont want to all the time. I truly struggle to, thats executive dysfunction for me. I convinced myself I didnt want to do anything because that really is the underlying thing. I believe my executive dysfuction stops me from starting the thing at times. Thing i notice was i dont mind doing the thing when im doing it, but the steps it takes to get to that point is whats difficult for me. I wanted to comment this because someone who had that same realization may think they are lazy after hearing that. I had that slight thought but ik im not lazy and also that you were not trying to say that at all. Im bad at starting tasks due to executive dysfunction maybe thats the case for others as well. 😅 please dont come for me there really is no malace here. Just trying to maybe help someone like me. I clicked this video in hopes to find something that would help me work with my executive dysfunction. I've figured out the compassion part and acceptance.
If i don't compare myself to others where in my life should i be? I need a reference point to move forward to. I have no idea where to go in my life as a plan kinda thing...
This might sound cliche but where do YOU WANT to go? Everyone else is doing what they want without comparing to you, so why should you give up your autonomy of choice of how to live your life based on the others? You can look at them for ideas, but ask yourself if it's REALLY what you WANT, or if it's actually just what society expects of you and you've convinced yourself that you want it, but really don't. No one else is living your life for you, only you are steering your ship. Be your own Captain and make your own life-plan. Do you even want to get married or have kids? You don't have to if you don't want to. Do you really want to live in the same house for 30 years? Maybe that sounds nice to you, maybe that sounds suffocating and trapping. Everyone will feel differently about everything, so the only person you can base your life path on is yourself. But alsi, life has a way of changing course in unexpected ways, prepare to modify your plan accordingly. ❤
video starts @5.40
I listened to a song named executive dysfunction and yk I was like “hey I kinda relate” It’s kinda ironic how I found out I had this from a song 💀
I am autistic though so yah now I know..
“Bad for feeling bad” is that technically what I mean then when I say “I’m crying cause I’m crying?” I guess so. I mean it sends me in a loop for a hour sometimes before calming down and having all the leftover adrenaline making me yap like a dog 👍
Yh if ur autistic and mask a lot I’d recommend executive dysfunction by banshee not only relatable but it’s a bop
my secretary on their damn phone all day 😭 BUT SO IS THE CEO
HELP
Lolololol, same
I legit have a "thought office" my ceo is TIRED
Executive dysfunction refers to challenges with planning, organization, time management, self-regulation, and cognitive flexibility. To overcome executive dysfunction, consider the following strategies:
1. Break tasks into smaller steps
2. Use calendars, to-do lists, and reminders
3. Create routines and rituals
4. Practice time management techniques like the Pomodoro Technique
5. Use visual aids like diagrams, flowcharts, and mind maps
6. Develop a daily routine to establish structure
7. Use technology, such as apps and alarms, to stay organized
8. Practice self-regulation techniques like deep breathing and mindfulness
9. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist
10. Celebrate small accomplishments to build motivation
11. Identify and challenge negative self-talk
12. Develop problem-solving skills
13. Practice flexibility and adaptability
14. Use positive self-talk and affirmations
15. Take breaks and prioritize self-care
Remember, overcoming executive dysfunction takes time, patience, and practice. Be gentle with yourself and seek support when needed.
Hi Megan! I'm not able to access the link and the website
Would this lead to procrastination?
I think so. It seems like procrastinating until its urgent or you're " motivated" by fear /embarrassment to overide it and get stuff done.
stress and abuse does this I never had this issue until I got married and mind fkd
Shame is the worst.
❤
Can I ask for your advice. Before immigration I felt like I have some instability between being hyperworking or hyperlazy, between inability to socialize and being the most attention attracting. But after the whole stress of migration has revealed to me that all these are mental health problems. I need advice of how people with most basic insurance get to a psychiatrist in the US. It feels like it an overwhelmingly big task to tackle.
Why did no one tell me what executive dysfunction was i've been beating myself up over it for 8 years of my life
Feel this! Same with metacognition, time blindness, rejection sensitivity, and cognitive distortions/CBT! smh At least I know now. Sigh.
I guess i had that ywats ago and a woman told me just open your eyes look in front of you and see what needs doing and do thatm and i statted and kept going and at that time i had a ton of puppies shitting everywhere and pice and all i did for three months was bleach everything constantly and feed animals ans kids and it was hell..now i just do what needs doing that i can see needs soing till i am tired and then i do something else and then if i have a bright idea i will do that. And ither than that i dont plan anything i just do what needs doing. And it seems thats what most peopke sre doing anyway. I cant start or finish womens work cos its never done but i can keep doing those things happily when i dont feek a newd to finish cleaning the house. Its never going to be clean but you just keeo cleaning. Im never going to finish raising my kids. Im never going to finsih decorating the house or finish the garden. The dies of finishing is just not a normal thing that haooens in life. Its a fantasy nobody gets to a finish line so dont worry about it.
I like your video idea but only problem I have with this, is that there's no need to change definitions to accept reality. I'm more than willing to say that I have a mental disability and I need to deal with it. I'm not normal and I'll deal with as best to keep up. There's no compassion in lying to oneself and forcing the world to go along with it. Don't slow down on my account, if I can't keep up, I'll step to the side.
Does anyone here know whether the commentator has a opinion about treating a treat ADHD with or without meds?
I’m guessing since she cannot diagnose, these tips can be helpful. Whether medication is involved or not. But I’m wondering if she thinks that these tips and techniques can help people cope while trying to remove medication from their lives.
At this point, I think 65% of us actually suffer with this
Skillful use of triangulation to leverage your legitimate tribulations in order to preemptively justify shaming characterizations gainst others claiming victimhood as an excuse for inaction on difficult but crucial responsibilities …. It’s a fascinating social tactic to publicly denounce others for employing transactional use of misfortune to justify/excuse neglecting difficult responsibilities of one’s childcare role, while blatantly using one’s own misfortunes as a transactional justification to neglecting the difficult responsibilities of one’s own childcare role!
Agreed. All of us can point to differences we have or past negative experiences that legitimately impact on our lives in a negative state. The majority of us try to find a way to work around the issues, rather than resorting to wallowing in victimhood, which achieves nothing. Accepting but nothing practical about it feels comforting in the moment but makes you feel worse in the long run. Which is then labelled as depression. Negative self sabotaging spiral. None of the world's ancient philosophers or religions ever advocated shrugging your shoulders the burying your head in the sand.
I'd identify as an executive dysfunctionalist, but I recognise that if I don't impose some compensatory counter balance strategies, life will impose consequences. It's not in my best interests to re-label procrastination or inertia (for whatever reason) as self-care. Not if I want to thrive and be happy.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said "I must bury myself in action, lest I wither in despair" (or something like that).
"Know thyself" was Socrates core advice. Not just so we can manage ourselves better, for the good, but also about being honest with oneself. Self knowledge that leads to accountability, rather than a victim mentality, that only leads to further unhappiness.
I say this as someone who has procrastinated for too much of today (these comments being self evident!) and now, out of "self compassion and self care" has to catch up on what I should have done hours ago, in my own best interests. 😊
Why should I have compassion for myself if I'm not living up to the standards that I need to. It's not ok that I sit on the couch and don't go to work. It's not ok that I can't learn and remember the things that are important to my life and job. Ugh I don't understand why my doctor won't just give me a attention medicine so I can remember things
The 'music' in between segments is annoying and stressful.
Wow but it sounds like everybody can now use “I have executive dysfunction” to excuse any laziness. How do we even draw a line lol?
Unfortunately, things aren't black and white. To me, personally, if someone is an asshole, I'd rather call them lazy. Idk. It's the will to do. I want to do many things for the ones i love, but i can Barely take care of myself. But I've been definitely trying and doing as much as i can atm. On the other hand, i don't really know. I'll just judge based on asshole-ness?
try to pay attention, not beat yourself up for watching a helpful video instead of just accomplishing everything
can you please fix your sound balancing. i have to turn the volume up to 80 just to hear your voice, and then back down to 20 because of the sudden loud music. this interfered with my ability to focus on your video and i couldnt understand anything. im sorry im not trying to be mean, im just in a really bad place right now and video after video from many different youtubers are having this problem
Install some software that compresses volume fluctuations if this is a recurring problem for you.
Much easier to change yourself :-)
I've today watched a few of these videos and am somewhat concerned that one person's interpretation of their feelings and experiences is being portrayed as factual analysis and diagnosis, rather than a person opinion. Statements like "We don't know why...", "We don't totally understand" etc etc, as if you are part of a body of accredited experts, diagnostics or researchers. You are a UA-cam vlogger presenting videos expressing your own opinions and experiences. That's fine but it should be more clearly stated that this is ultimately your personal, unregulated, opinion. You haven't been formally diagnosed, nor are you a trained professional.
I understand that people may seek labels and identities to make them feel more secure or understood but it can be dangerous to express opinions as facts, expecially when advocating self diagnosis, without accountabilty.
Well this was a waste of time
Compassion is a load of rubbish
You all (who buy the existence of this made-up condition) should know that there are countries in THIS world where there is no such a thing as “executive disfunction” or other made-up by crafty psychiatrists “conditions that need special treatment”. So no, this “condition” is a good old laziness and anyone who puts some effort to beat it, sometimes via someone else (like family member) getting involved, that’ll do in most cases! That’s what it takes to overcome it. Depending on a specific situation of course. Like if you never fully understood a lesson teacher gave you, you WILL have a problem executing the homework, being lazy or not. How do you fix this? You shouldn’t be shy about asking questions to your teacher right there and then! Until you make sure you understand entire topic before teacher moves to next one. BUT! This effort must be taught at early age. So let’s say when you are taught basic Arithmetics when you are 7 you should already know about the importance of asking questions and pursuing the understanding of what you’ve been taught. If you were not taught THIS, then you are guaranteed to have problems comprehending more complex subjects, like Algebra and Geometry in later school years. So, for parents and teachers: teach the importance of asking questions whenever even a bit of detail is not understood! This is golden! If this is done different ways but child still has problem comprehending, it may be because of other (genuine) issue, like ADHD. Or, it may not be any issue at all and either teacher is not professional enough to explain well, or child simply is not interested in learning this specific subject, while that same child eagerly learns something else.
Regarding not doing chores in a timely manner: this is nothing but laziness and minimal effort (by yourself or someone else providing necessary pressure) should be enough to fix it, and there’s no need to make up other “titles” for it. For psychiatrists (specifically American analysts): Enough with f-ing with people’s brains! If you truly want to help, simply tell what it is and as it is! Whether it is a good old laziness, or other already known “condition” :) You won’t sound more professional by inventing extra titles for every normal human behavior!
This describes my entire life lol it's so frustrating because not only do I procrastinate the things I have to do, but the things I actually WANT to do. The point about self compassion is huge!! I'd like to recommend Dr. Shauna Shapiro's book Good Morning, I Love You to others experiencing this! (And everyone, honestly). She's a neuroscientist who got into it because she wanted to study the effects of mindfulness on the brain, and her tips are so good for the soul as well as executive dysfunction! For example, the 1% principle. Helped me a lot a few years ago and now I'm inspired to refresh my mindfulness practice. Thank you for these videos! 🩷