Schlatt's Cookie Tier List

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  • Опубліковано 25 бер 2022
  • Schlatt ranks every cookie ever made.
    FOLLOW ME ON TWITCH: / schlatt
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    / jschlatt
    Today Schlatt makes a Tier List! It's been a long time since this has happened. Last time I tried making a tier list video you guys watched it 10 million times. But we're back, baby! Schlatt loves cookies (I hate writing in the third person) and decided to make a Cookies Tier List and Rank Every Cookie Known To Man. This is probably quite similar to Moist Cr1tikal Tier List videos, even though I've never watched a single one. Thank you for inventing Tier List Videos. Chips Ahoy, Chewy Chips Ahoy, Chips Deluxe, Oreo, Double Stuf Oreo, Mega Stuf Oreo, Biscoff, Ginger Snaps, Tate's Bake Shop, Milano, Pepperidge Farm Farmhouse, Golden Oreo, Famous Amos, Royal Dansk, Those Awful Sugar Cookies You Find At Every Grocery Store, Lenny And Larry's, Fudge Stripes, Stella D'Oro, Nilla Wafers, and more are featured in this video and also in this description for SEO purposes. What rank will Schlatt give your favorite cookie? Watch the entire video to find out (and also to help me make more money!)
    Edited by wheatskins: / wheatskins_
  • Розваги

КОМЕНТАРІ • 14 тис.

  • @tuskun3072
    @tuskun3072 2 роки тому +4274

    if you think this list is biased just remember, Schlatt brutally murdered a girl scout troop when they came to his door with cookies back in '99. he knows his stuff.

    • @aceeduventures
      @aceeduventures 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/AJfQ_FB9naA/v-deo.html
      Finally here..

    • @grqfes
      @grqfes 2 роки тому +98

      yeah myth says he tried every cookie she was selling too.

    • @hazemkaram7111
      @hazemkaram7111 2 роки тому

      Wowww ua-cam.com/video/6sBRE1tC9Zc/v-deo.html…

    • @Hibernathan05
      @Hibernathan05 2 роки тому +113

      I still miss my sister

    • @commandbaker3334
      @commandbaker3334 2 роки тому +38

      He must've been one badass fetus

  • @couchdoritos7326
    @couchdoritos7326 2 роки тому +2819

    Funny story regarding chips ahoy chewy type: so my friend and I used to walk home from school and stop by a 7-11, and like the fatasses we are we got a pack of chewy chips ahoy, and hated them. We decided it would be funny to leave one on the back of some poor dudes truck that hadn't moved for months. That cookie stayed there throughout a full year of seasons and weather. The juices seeped out and stained the plastic. It stayed intact for a year and a half, and finally split over the summer. That didn't stop the cookie though. The cookie is still there 2 years later and we are still laughing about it. He moved to another state and whenever I walk the way we used to walk, I send him a picture of the cookie.

    • @Maob08
      @Maob08 2 роки тому +163

      And now you now they have as many chemicals as McDonald's cheeseburger

    • @MandoThingz
      @MandoThingz 2 роки тому +235

      It’s like the moldy cheese from diary of the wimpy kid

    • @TheArtistLuna
      @TheArtistLuna 2 роки тому +22

      I love this

    • @eyy8760
      @eyy8760 2 роки тому +45

      Best comment on a Schlatt video I have ever seen got me rolling 💀🗿

    • @minecraftbees8850
      @minecraftbees8850 2 роки тому +34

      bro that shit created covid

  • @thechozenone6471
    @thechozenone6471 9 місяців тому +1408

    Schlatt: "who the hell eats biscoff cookies unless there on a airplane."
    Proceeds to show an almost empty packet of biscoff cookies.

    • @canaan56
      @canaan56 9 місяців тому +35

      Bro I had a biscoff waffle from the biscoff restaurant it was so good

    • @LEEZEREYMoe
      @LEEZEREYMoe 8 місяців тому +10

      we have a biscoff mcflurry and is it fire

    • @SerynityTv
      @SerynityTv 8 місяців тому +16

      Biscoff cookies are amazing

    • @Atom85825
      @Atom85825 6 місяців тому +6

      hes always have airplane ready, do you not know that hes ready to commit another one

    • @magneticmango325
      @magneticmango325 6 місяців тому +2

      @@Atom85825another what

  • @fellinluv777
    @fellinluv777 9 місяців тому +895

    we need more schlatt tier lists I’m rewatching these like crazy 💀

  • @DarkRevolution
    @DarkRevolution 2 роки тому +35012

    For those people saying this list is biased. Schlatt used to be a professional cookie scout back in 2004. So he knows what he's talking about.

    • @sleep6837
      @sleep6837 2 роки тому +1548

      It was to cover up that incident in '99....

    • @rubyredyoshi
      @rubyredyoshi 2 роки тому +330

      im so sorry for your notifications

    • @dippyyy
      @dippyyy 2 роки тому +220

      its true, i was the cookie

    • @bigbig173
      @bigbig173 2 роки тому +88

      I find myself really doubting that especially because of what he has done that year. The horrors that made Henri Dunant punch air.

    • @stinkymoldyfeet
      @stinkymoldyfeet 2 роки тому +31

      @Soundcitylmaobruhidklolxd no bitches?🥺

  • @dumbassweeb5702
    @dumbassweeb5702 2 роки тому +3184

    The frosted sugar cookies are like the candy corn of cookies, either you love it or you hate it and for some fucking reason when you eat more than like 4 of them you start feeling like death himself is staring down at you

    • @dumbassweeb5702
      @dumbassweeb5702 2 роки тому +33

      @Reika Nagila sorry I only like MEN

    • @intelismynameandregretismy5541
      @intelismynameandregretismy5541 2 роки тому +111

      Such a perfect comparison

    • @galacthicc693
      @galacthicc693 2 роки тому +106

      Frosted sugar cookies make me feel like a fat Hitler but MAN do they taste good.

    • @ashhlsy
      @ashhlsy 2 роки тому +45

      YES like theyre honestly so good but after a couple i start feeling like i want to die

    • @xan5927
      @xan5927 2 роки тому +16

      nah after eating ONE i feel like im gonna explode

  • @thundergizmo317
    @thundergizmo317 8 місяців тому +242

    I was 100% expecting the butter cookies to have a sewing kit inside

  • @HappyBacon777
    @HappyBacon777 7 місяців тому +184

    I love how the frosted sugar cookie voting had a perfect description of what people think of them. Either you REALLY love them, or you DESPISE them.

    • @crimson7000
      @crimson7000 3 місяці тому +3

      I despise them

    • @RDhammer
      @RDhammer 3 місяці тому

      @@crimson7000same bro

    • @unaverageavocado159
      @unaverageavocado159 Місяць тому +2

      I brought them to a party two days ago. Someone was licking the box clean.

    • @HappyBacon777
      @HappyBacon777 Місяць тому

      @@unaverageavocado159 🤣

  • @alistair.404
    @alistair.404 2 роки тому +2744

    As a wise man once said: The best part of grocery shopping is seeing what the psychos at Oreo have made next.

    • @LtCdrXander
      @LtCdrXander 2 роки тому +65

      Hey, we wouldn't have gotten lemon Oreos without those psychos. Am I a bad person for thinking key lime Oreos would have a more than 0% chance of being good?

    • @zzyxx2112
      @zzyxx2112 2 роки тому +23

      @@LtCdrXander that would taste pretty good with crumble cookie parts and key lime fillings

    • @LtCdrXander
      @LtCdrXander 2 роки тому +12

      @@zzyxx2112 YES!! I would hope too that they don't hold back on the tartness for the filling either, as you really gotta strike that delicate balance between sweetness and tanginess.

    • @alistair.404
      @alistair.404 2 роки тому +16

      @TheSportsGuru Yesssss!! Dude, I have no idea who works at Pop-Tart but they're absolutely twisted. How many fuckin flavors do they HAVE at this point???

    • @magmapixel8627
      @magmapixel8627 2 роки тому +5

      Weed Oreos already exist but the company keeps them all for themselves

  • @AidanHg
    @AidanHg 2 роки тому +1750

    The issue with "soft" cookies is that they need to make the cookie even less natural just to make it hold onto that softness permanently which just makes it feel wrong. If it's fresh cookies then of course you want them soft, but with store bought? No.

    • @Quentino808
      @Quentino808 2 роки тому +85

      I'm usually a soft cookie guy and I agree. I felt sick after trying soft store bought cookies. Meanwhile you get that shit fresh and it's a whole new game

    • @aceeduventures
      @aceeduventures 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/AJfQ_FB9naA/v-deo.html
      Finally here..

    • @pastlepink131
      @pastlepink131 2 роки тому +15

      I used to like them as a kid, but im gonna be honest, the chocolate chips on soft chips ahoy... dont taste like chocolate... so i prefer chips ahoy's other cookies now
      if you still like soft chips ahoy, im sorry, they got you, youre already living in the simulation homie

    • @Naomi-yc4fp
      @Naomi-yc4fp 2 роки тому +4

      Wait yeh actually, u r right, I normally get the same day baked ones from Sainsbury, and they are soft and I like them, but yeh if it’s factory made, that’s lowkey disgusting

    • @fluffy9071
      @fluffy9071 2 роки тому +1

      keep a piece of bread with the cookies you bake. it keeps them softer

  • @crunchybro123
    @crunchybro123 9 місяців тому +21

    I was screaming “WHAT ABOUT TATES” and then you actually brought tates, the greatest cookie brand to ever exist in the multiverse

  • @mattAKABIGDAWGZEAT
    @mattAKABIGDAWGZEAT 9 місяців тому +94

    its just so soothing to watch these types of videos where schlatt ranks food at midnight

  • @samsungrefridgerator6270
    @samsungrefridgerator6270 2 роки тому +1851

    Technically speaking here, there’s still more to this as schlatt hasn’t opened up the door of girl scout cookies.

    • @sithspartan6248
      @sithspartan6248 2 роки тому +16

      That would make for its own interesting video I’d say.

    • @mattisoff
      @mattisoff 2 роки тому +25

      On stream he said that he might make a seperate tier list for girl scout cookies, just sayin.

    • @sithspartan6248
      @sithspartan6248 2 роки тому

      @@mattisoff Nice, I don’t go on twitch so that’s cool to know

    • @bramd4423
      @bramd4423 2 роки тому +13

      Don't forget Oreo made a Cherry Cola flavored Oreo and I am one hundred percent certain Oreo's concept team are sadists

    • @sithspartan6248
      @sithspartan6248 2 роки тому +5

      @@bramd4423 I saw peeps flavored Oreos once, so I can most definitely agree with that statement

  • @asgrhoasohugouh
    @asgrhoasohugouh 2 роки тому +2245

    Honestly its nice to see schlatt is doing what he loves.
    And making money.

    • @Panknight
      @Panknight 2 роки тому +27

      No no, he’s doing what he loves… making money

    • @blacknight1799
      @blacknight1799 2 роки тому +7

      Your poor comment section

    • @SkeweredGlaive
      @SkeweredGlaive 2 роки тому +6

      Who doesn't love making money? Also scree every single bot.

    • @StarryxNight5
      @StarryxNight5 2 роки тому

      Honestly it's nice to see schlatt doing what he loves.
      And making tier lists on cookies.

    • @LINK-is3oc
      @LINK-is3oc 2 роки тому

      @Don't read profile photo so ur just gonna spam every comment with channel advertisment?

  • @connorhege6903
    @connorhege6903 6 місяців тому +9

    I’ve seen men describe murders with less anger and fear in their eyes than Schlatt covering the Oreos cookies

  • @odogjones4184
    @odogjones4184 9 місяців тому +15

    Black and White cookies hit harder than schlatt hit those people in 1999

  • @wdecently7150
    @wdecently7150 2 роки тому +1434

    Again, there's a trend with his tier lists.
    - First is always "Base Tier"
    - Your favorites are always shat on
    - He makes very valid points and very invalid points
    - "D for dick"
    - Throwing packages
    - Last one is always a surprise witness

    • @kayawesome_12
      @kayawesome_12 2 роки тому +40

      Don’t find out where I live and murder me for this, but I fucking love Java Chip Oreos. I can’t believe “Schlatt” would disgrace their name like that.

    • @bubbles694
      @bubbles694 2 роки тому +1

      Comedy

    • @StorableGaming
      @StorableGaming 2 роки тому +23

      When he said soft cookies are bad/not as good as hard cookies, I knew what kind of list it would be.

    • @maddiesmenagerie8853
      @maddiesmenagerie8853 2 роки тому +3

      Mans really disrespected oreo thins putting them at a D tier after saying he likes crunchy cookies tf

    • @wdecently7150
      @wdecently7150 2 роки тому +5

      @@maddiesmenagerie8853 normal Oreos are already crunchy. The bad rating wasn't about crunchyness, it was about the fact they put LESS stuf in the cookie. Normal Oreos were fine, and Double Stuff Oreos were perfect. Any more or any less stuf in the cookie is terrible, according to schlartt

  • @Funnee75
    @Funnee75 Рік тому +4601

    Schlatt: hates chewy cookies
    Also Schlatt: Loves chewy cookies (with frosting)

    • @Unoriginal____Starwalker
      @Unoriginal____Starwalker Рік тому +82

      Fucking gottem (im salty with him for fig newton's and chewy chips ahoy so I am very angry with schlatt

    • @Funnee75
      @Funnee75 Рік тому +50

      @@Unoriginal____Starwalker I'm also salty about a lot of things he said about my favorites

    • @alpha_9997
      @alpha_9997 Рік тому +55

      I don’t hate chewy cookies quite as much as splat, but crunchy cookies are so much better. If you think otherwise, all your opinions are wrong and your parents don’t love you.

    • @hellotherehowisyourdaygoin9798
      @hellotherehowisyourdaygoin9798 Рік тому +13

      @@alpha_9997 god damn bro it ain't that deep its just a cookie like people have their tastes and opinions 😕

    • @hellotherehowisyourdaygoin9798
      @hellotherehowisyourdaygoin9798 Рік тому +4

      @@alpha_9997 like a opinion cant be wrong its a option aka your own personal preference

  • @sharky-cn5hb
    @sharky-cn5hb 8 місяців тому +30

    I swear he never misses to disappoint in the ranking

  • @ClaireStanfield
    @ClaireStanfield 9 місяців тому +12

    the amount of pure sodium in tate’s cookies makes my blood pressure sky rocket after 1 bite. like why tf is there over 150 mg of sodium in 2 cookies?

    • @siimious
      @siimious 20 днів тому +1

      ate a whole pack of 14 and like, spazzed out
      hate those cookies

  • @sentryicl
    @sentryicl Рік тому +2076

    The fact that 'Schlatt' bans everyone with the wrong opinion is amazing

  • @dollarstorecookie3938
    @dollarstorecookie3938 2 роки тому +380

    I’m personally honored to have been featured on this list. Thank you Schlatt.

    • @aceeduventures
      @aceeduventures 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/AJfQ_FB9naA/v-deo.html
      Finally here..

    • @hamsterman8975
      @hamsterman8975 2 роки тому +15

      You deserved your s tier

    • @bobberman4641
      @bobberman4641 2 роки тому +14

      You are the best thing you can get at a dollar store

    • @lucyakaluckstat
      @lucyakaluckstat Місяць тому

      ​@@hamsterman8975hi ibuki from Danganronpa

  • @ragnarok935
    @ragnarok935 5 місяців тому +4

    Tried Tates Bakeshop for the first time a couple days ago. My eyes have been fully opened, Schlatt. Thank you

  • @anthonym9977
    @anthonym9977 7 місяців тому +11

    Im glad tier lists are coming back. They're genuinely funny

  • @khaliber
    @khaliber 2 роки тому +1639

    Schlatt: “Chewy cookies are for terrible people”
    Also Schlatt: *ranks frosted sugar cookies in S*

    • @literallythrowing3264
      @literallythrowing3264 2 роки тому +171

      Tbf, technically they're not chewy, they're just soft. Do I chew those? No, I take a giant bite, roll my eyes back because they are, in fact, S tier, and swallow.

    • @allpaynenoliam4208
      @allpaynenoliam4208 2 роки тому +16

      @@literallythrowing3264 why do ppl think that they are s tier- they are def a e/f eww

    • @SweatyPomegranate
      @SweatyPomegranate 2 роки тому +81

      @@allpaynenoliam4208 "atone for your sins"

    • @rottenwalrus7103
      @rottenwalrus7103 2 роки тому +28

      Me who has autism and has sensory issues with crunchy things and really likes chips ahoy chewy and then watching a man I admire say that I’m disgusting for putting it in my mouth:

    • @literallythrowing3264
      @literallythrowing3264 2 роки тому +4

      @@allpaynenoliam4208 Maybe I'm biased because I'm addicted to sugar

  • @pillakilla9122
    @pillakilla9122 Рік тому +2422

    Schlatt: “Hes such a polite little guy”
    Also Schlatt: “ThAt lItTlE eLf piEcE oF sHiT”

  • @AirStrike69
    @AirStrike69 9 місяців тому +11

    8:33 ong I tried it 2 days ago. It smelt like paint and tasted like decaying flour and Play-Dough

  • @Zanru-iy8wb
    @Zanru-iy8wb 7 місяців тому +18

    00:24 - Chips Ahoy Original
    00:38 - Chips Ahoy Candy Blast
    00:57 - Chips Ahoy Chunky
    01:13 - Chips Ahoy Chewy
    01:40 - Chips Ahoy Chewy & Reese's
    01:53 - Chips Deluxe Original
    02:09 - Chips Deluxe M&M
    02:34 - Famous Amos
    02:57 - Royal Dansk
    03:22 - Biscoff
    03:54 - Ginger Snaps
    04:22 - Frosted Sugar Cookies
    05:08 - (Bonus) Fortune Cookie
    05:28 - Milano Original
    06:00 - Milano Dark Chocolate
    06:20 - Milano Mint Chocolate
    06:41 - Chessmen
    06:58 - Farmhouse
    07:30 - Tate's Bake Shop
    08:03 - Lenny & Larry
    08:50 - E.L Fudge
    09:11 - Fudge Stripers
    09:22 - Sandies
    09:37 - Viena Fingers
    10:00 - Oreo Original
    10:44 - Oreo Doble Stuf

  • @michaelhartmann4632
    @michaelhartmann4632 2 роки тому +940

    I’ve gotta say, I like Mint Oreos, but you have to REALLY like mint to like them. It’s a pretty strong mint flavor, and plain double stuf oreos have a much broader appeal

    • @fivecreator9573
      @fivecreator9573 2 роки тому +48

      My obsession with the mint is so bad, that when I was a kid my mom would hide toothpaste from me, cause I was demolishing them all. I got into a hospital at least 7 times because of them. But I still love everything that has a mint in it

    • @ianxe
      @ianxe 2 роки тому +15

      The best are the fudge mint ones. Instead of the oreo cookie its just fudge like a girl scout cookie

    • @garfooledarbuckle3888
      @garfooledarbuckle3888 2 роки тому +3

      I like mint chocolate chip ice cream but oreo mint is where I put my foot down

    • @ultraabsrd
      @ultraabsrd 2 роки тому +7

      I also like them.
      I have loved mint flavored stuff ever since I was a kid and that isn't changing anytime soon.

    • @LethalzPlayz
      @LethalzPlayz 2 роки тому

      Mega stuf

  • @bored1103
    @bored1103 2 роки тому +350

    the amount of random cookies on the floor that is visible when Schlatt gets up and leaves in the end is just hillarious

  • @goingoutsad
    @goingoutsad 9 місяців тому +5

    The size of the smile on my face when he pulled out those tates was enormous

  • @Omori.
    @Omori. 2 місяці тому +1

    4:25 yes I just love hearing my favorite family friendly UA-camr say he likes cookies

  • @jeremypotato374
    @jeremypotato374 2 роки тому +408

    Schlatt: "I'm gonna rank every single cookie known to man"
    Literally 5 seconds later: "Inside this box is every cookie I know"

  • @RandomUser11170
    @RandomUser11170 2 роки тому +437

    I honestly didn't know Schlatt was capable of being so wrong. I know I'm putting myself at risk of being a victim of another 1999 incident, but that's a risk I'm willing to take

    • @aceeduventures
      @aceeduventures 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/AJfQ_FB9naA/v-deo.html
      Finally here..

    • @gulletgaming4717
      @gulletgaming4717 2 роки тому +23

      bro he didnt even try the fig newtons

    • @bigboy8766
      @bigboy8766 2 роки тому +15

      @@gulletgaming4717 fig newtons are absolute dogshit

    • @notfunjoe
      @notfunjoe 2 роки тому +1

      Tates…nuf said

    • @sportsnstuff5557
      @sportsnstuff5557 2 роки тому +19

      @Patnic you don't remember what happened in 1999? With the sword man? Or the baseball bat?

  • @mentallyillkoi
    @mentallyillkoi 8 місяців тому +2

    "Chewy cookies are for terrible people"
    Well, at least I don't have to change myself.

  • @ConnerBunting
    @ConnerBunting 4 місяці тому +4

    0:06 if you listen closely, you can actually hear him struggle to lift the box

  • @caleb__mtz
    @caleb__mtz 2 роки тому +237

    " I hate chewy cookies"
    "Frosted sugar cookies are S tier"

    • @dragar0th
      @dragar0th 2 роки тому +29

      I'm so glad someone else noticed the Duality of Man

    • @raisinsmakemeuncomfortable6893
      @raisinsmakemeuncomfortable6893 2 роки тому +31

      Frosted sugar cookies are what's known as an outlier, they are fundamentally different to all the other chewy cookies in the best way possible.

    • @user-zy2rn3ne1b
      @user-zy2rn3ne1b 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/CQHG12lIIQk/v-deo.html
      So true..

    • @angelarias3395
      @angelarias3395 2 роки тому +10

      @@raisinsmakemeuncomfortable6893 they are either good or they are the worst cookie ever no inbetween

    • @pastlepink131
      @pastlepink131 2 роки тому +2

      naur frosted sugar cookies get a pass-
      taste a hard chips ahoy (like the normal one) vs a soft chips ahoy
      maybe im hella weird but theres a DISTINCT difference in the way the chocolate tastes in the soft ones.. major turn off sajhfkhs

  • @doxasnike4789
    @doxasnike4789 2 роки тому +1795

    Here’s the thing about chewy cookies: they have to be crispy on the edges. And there’s a fine line between nice and soft, raw, and rubber.

    • @loafer2598
      @loafer2598 2 роки тому +5

      Disgusting

    • @solus8685
      @solus8685 2 роки тому +82

      Soft baked is better than crusty dusty dry mf cookies and I'll die on that hill

    • @loafer2598
      @loafer2598 2 роки тому +1

      @@solus8685 it tastes like dirt and rubber

    • @justanotherguy1122
      @justanotherguy1122 2 роки тому +20

      Chewy Chips Ahoy are the bomb, man.

    • @hashim8135
      @hashim8135 2 роки тому +21

      chewy cookies are only good home made

  • @dr.popples1584
    @dr.popples1584 8 місяців тому +1

    This is a respectable and obviously unbiased tier list that should be taken as objective fact

  • @Potatoes137
    @Potatoes137 9 місяців тому +4

    3:00 That is one of the most relatable things I heard in a while 😭

  • @angel404
    @angel404 2 роки тому +10405

    he perfectly described this cookie 4:31

  • @ravenshade266
    @ravenshade266 2 роки тому +1198

    Honestly, Schlatt looks like he’s feeling well. Either he’s really good at hiding his emotions and playing the character (which we all know he’s very capable of) or he’s truly been having a good bit of life recently. Hopefully it’s the second option.

    • @sicbixch
      @sicbixch 2 роки тому +3

      what happened?

    • @ravenshade266
      @ravenshade266 2 роки тому +51

      @@sicbixch Oh, nothing happened that I know of. I just commented that he looks happier than usual.

    • @maddiesmenagerie8853
      @maddiesmenagerie8853 2 роки тому +55

      @@sicbixch existential pain happened. It gets most of us in our 20s.

    • @marektrejo
      @marektrejo 2 роки тому +3

      t his happened 3 months ago just so you know

    • @Baconator59
      @Baconator59 2 роки тому +7

      Who's Schlatt? We only know "Schlatt"

  • @yellowtheexpert5855
    @yellowtheexpert5855 7 місяців тому +3

    I dont know how many times i watched this video.

  • @laserman7211
    @laserman7211 8 місяців тому

    Even the fortune cookie knows what you did in 1999, Schlatt. You can never escape it.

  • @cheesyparadise7675
    @cheesyparadise7675 2 роки тому +561

    I think “Schlatt” should do a candy/candy bar tier list, keeping in theme with them all starting with C

    • @piqachu
      @piqachu 2 роки тому +5

      i agree, “schlatt” should do that without the “c”

  • @ryleywest2899
    @ryleywest2899 2 роки тому +625

    I've never been so deeply offended, disappointed, and heart broken in my life and schlatt found a way, props to you man

    • @andrewpropson8464
      @andrewpropson8464 2 роки тому +2

      Yra he done the golden Oreos dirty i mean DIRTY

    • @rex.6067
      @rex.6067 2 роки тому +1

      Oreos will always have a special place in my heart. SO I DONT GIVE A SHIT HOW MUCH FUCKING “STUFF” IS IN A OREO I T S F U C K I N G G O D T E I R.

    • @rex.6067
      @rex.6067 2 роки тому +2

      @dcoog anml sugar cookies are the worst cookie

    • @Bucheria
      @Bucheria 2 роки тому +2

      @@rex.6067 this is biased 🤦‍♂️

    • @rex.6067
      @rex.6067 2 роки тому

      @@Bucheria How?

  • @NICK349B
    @NICK349B 9 місяців тому +1

    The frosted sugar cookies bring me back to elementary school parties, so damn nostalgic

  • @ArtucoDev
    @ArtucoDev 7 місяців тому

    i still want to try every single item you ever ranked in this series

  • @snoopuppers6319
    @snoopuppers6319 2 роки тому +374

    I think we should call “Schlatt” biscuit boy from now on. He truly likes those crunchy bits.

    • @SrSander
      @SrSander 2 роки тому +1

      He clearly likes them!

  • @ryang2v
    @ryang2v 2 роки тому +912

    I’ve noticed a pattern with a lot of the decent and above cereals, chips and cookies. They always have the original which are good, the one better than the original which are better, and then the ones that try to be better but suck
    For example Cheerios is the original, Honey but Cheerios are better, and then chocolate cheerios which are worse
    Another example oreos are original, double stuf is better, and then mega stuf and most stuf suck

    • @aceeduventures
      @aceeduventures 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/AJfQ_FB9naA/v-deo.html
      Finally here..

    • @ohnobro1424
      @ohnobro1424 2 роки тому +3

      Most stuf 🤡

    • @tucker6063
      @tucker6063 2 роки тому +21

      Same thing with Cap’n Crunch. Schlatt ranked the Crunch Berries higher, and Oops All Berries lower

    • @grqfes
      @grqfes 2 роки тому +8

      honey nut cheerios are godly i need to start eating them again why did i even stop

    • @-Safijiiva-
      @-Safijiiva- 2 роки тому +2

      Oreos aren't original though the hydrox cookie came first oreo just stole their shit renamed the cookies and claimed themselves to be the original

  • @epsteindidntoffhimself5002
    @epsteindidntoffhimself5002 9 місяців тому +2

    The first food list I agree with on fully, but with the mint Oreos the best way to eat them is after they have been in the fridge

  • @arty7122
    @arty7122 7 місяців тому +1

    fully genuinly when i eat biscoff i feel like on the verge of traveling back in time to the mid 19th century for some reason

  • @angelaplays
    @angelaplays 2 роки тому +674

    I feel like Schlatt will someday make a tier list about everything in existence

    • @jacobinator4981
      @jacobinator4981 2 роки тому +5

      5 minutes in and he has made 3 Everywhere at the End of Time references.

    • @technetium9653
      @technetium9653 2 роки тому +5

      Can't wait for tier list of tier list, or the tier list of tier list that contains tier list

    • @elaninormous4876
      @elaninormous4876 2 роки тому

      who?

    • @Evesdropper
      @Evesdropper 2 роки тому +1

      @@elaninormous4876 big guy

    • @asahel8431
      @asahel8431 2 роки тому +6

      Race tier list when?

  • @surveyr5768
    @surveyr5768 2 роки тому +336

    this guy knows his stuff! i remember him back in 2004, he just had this insight that nobody could replicate.

    • @user-zy2rn3ne1b
      @user-zy2rn3ne1b 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/CQHG12lIIQk/v-deo.html
      So true..

    • @Flash4ML
      @Flash4ML 2 роки тому +1

      Yeah, only five years after the incident, schlatt was a different man

    • @surveyr5768
      @surveyr5768 2 роки тому +2

      @@sofianesk3050 i remember hearing about that! legend.

  • @Warchurches
    @Warchurches 7 місяців тому +1

    Got an adventure communist advert after “schlatt” said “but there’s a better cookie… POTATOES”

  • @JVG4M3
    @JVG4M3 7 місяців тому +1

    1:11 I was laughing the whole segment even though he was calling me out!

  • @Moon-by5ee
    @Moon-by5ee 2 роки тому +751

    The part at 10:50 when he said “oooh someone’s been eating them”. Just got me laughing so hard idk why lmao

  • @russellrobes9912
    @russellrobes9912 2 роки тому +308

    when you gave farmhouse an A then mentioned there was something better, i KNEW it was tate’s cookies. i legit cheered like it was a new smash bros character being revealed

  • @bonechiller3429
    @bonechiller3429 3 місяці тому +2

    Can’t believe you did a cookie tier list without girl scout cookies.

  • @Trashcantunited
    @Trashcantunited 7 місяців тому +1

    I think we can all agree that the subway cookies are the best cookies known to man the hard outside and the soft and chewy inside mwah perfection

  • @TurtleBoyoIsCool
    @TurtleBoyoIsCool Рік тому +1391

    Jschlatt: Talks bad about people who eat ginger snaps
    Also Jschlatt: Talks about how he likes ginger snaps

    • @ionobru
      @ionobru Рік тому

      he said if you eat ginger snaps you get no pussy
      I mean he gets dick so he’s not wrong

    • @-cheddarcheese
      @-cheddarcheese Рік тому +32

      he just knows that he cant call himself a good person after what he did in '99

    • @Gabush
      @Gabush Рік тому +3

      he said they were better than biscoff he never said they were good

    • @jocelynransom1842
      @jocelynransom1842 Рік тому +4

      He also said people who eat soft cookies are terrible people then said that he loved those frosted sugar cookies which are soft lmao

    • @UncleAsmos2005
      @UncleAsmos2005 Рік тому +3

      I mean, he just said "If you like these, you're never getting pssy"
      And he's right, Schlatt gets none. He goes for the meaty sticks

  • @Ghostly3011
    @Ghostly3011 2 роки тому +731

    4:30
    Fun fact! Those are called lofthouse cookies, and there are several recipes online that you can find. *This changes the fucking game*

    • @breiinless
      @breiinless 2 роки тому +11

      THANK YOU SO MUCH

    • @crazycarlos08
      @crazycarlos08 2 роки тому +18

      They're called Lofthouse cookies? I just call them Walmart cookies (even though I think they're branded as Lofthouse everywhere else).

    • @Definitely_not_ai
      @Definitely_not_ai 2 роки тому +13

      Time to make the cocaine of cookies.

    • @drjukebox5371
      @drjukebox5371 2 роки тому +7

      I want to thank you but I knew that so Im just gonna say an assortment of letters... "udsubfiubwefibnwehyugvbewiuan"
      Also want some of my pretzels? I got a bag of em today.

    • @MrWrkk
      @MrWrkk Рік тому +1

      As of now your likes are now at 699.............

  • @Bowl-0f-Soup
    @Bowl-0f-Soup 7 місяців тому +1

    I was at a Publix with my mom a few days ago and she said “They need to make more Oreo flavors” just as we passed by like 46. Safe to say I’ve never been prouder being adopted

  • @Object292_
    @Object292_ 8 місяців тому +1

    I like that 3x3 checkerboard pattern cookie that you could find at Whole Foods and the ikea ones that they used to sell more of

  • @jett5531
    @jett5531 2 роки тому +1639

    Hot take: the orange colored oreo filling (the halloween seasonal ones) are literally the normal filling dyed but somehow taste so much better

    • @heckinboyo1656
      @heckinboyo1656 2 роки тому +78

      I thought I was fuckin crazy for thinking that but yeah facts

    • @siidthekiid594
      @siidthekiid594 2 роки тому +43

      Thought the same thing, it’s almost like a placebo effect the way they taste better

    • @person3514
      @person3514 2 роки тому +7

      I haven't had those ones but it sounds like sugar pill cookies

    • @eoetoast
      @eoetoast 2 роки тому +5

      And the red Christmas ones

    • @Disappointing69
      @Disappointing69 2 роки тому

      Oh Fuck your right

  • @TheRealNigerianMikePerry
    @TheRealNigerianMikePerry Рік тому +2814

    Schlatt: "Chewy cookies are for terrible people"
    Also Schlatt: *proceeds to devour sugar cookies"

    • @TheRealNigerianMikePerry
      @TheRealNigerianMikePerry Рік тому +18

      @@cfgeneric7677 oh yes ik but they are chewy cookies 😂😂

    • @jonathanjohnnyjoestar
      @jonathanjohnnyjoestar Рік тому +45

      @@TheRealNigerianMikePerry They literally crumble, but aight.

    • @temp6156
      @temp6156 Рік тому +73

      Sugar cookies are definitely not chewy cookies unless you be eatin stale sugar cookies.

    • @mysiph
      @mysiph Рік тому +37

      they are soft and crumbly not chewy

    • @horriblebeing
      @horriblebeing 11 місяців тому +18

      Hol up, they're chewy?
      But they're soft and crumbly

  • @thefoxking4463
    @thefoxking4463 8 місяців тому

    Something incredibly delicious exists:
    Slhatcc: “an A cus there is a better version of said cookie” like bro let them both share the spotlight

  • @localmallsanta7706
    @localmallsanta7706 8 місяців тому

    Schlatt banning someone over lemon Oreos seems like one of the most Schlatt things ever

  • @dxstudios123
    @dxstudios123 2 роки тому +200

    The MOMENT he said frosted sugar cookies were S-class, I knew jschlatt was the most based human being on the fucking planet

    • @midnight_1937
      @midnight_1937 2 роки тому +13

      I do agree with him tho, those sugar cookies are the best

    • @Delta5x7
      @Delta5x7 2 роки тому +7

      Fucking hate sugar cookies, mid at best

    • @pokaay3163
      @pokaay3163 2 роки тому +13

      Replies are a beautiful example of the duality of man

    • @Discordkitten2
      @Discordkitten2 2 роки тому +2

      @@nebinmerbi4249 read my name

  • @lukekastner7453
    @lukekastner7453 2 роки тому +1250

    Your hatred of soft cookies was redeemed by your spot-on perspective on the frosted sugar cookies.

    • @binguslol3757
      @binguslol3757 Рік тому +18

      Had the exact same reaction

    • @toasterbathbombs139
      @toasterbathbombs139 Рік тому +8

      couldn’t have described it better than schlatt

    • @MatthewCJoy
      @MatthewCJoy Рік тому +23

      Chewy cookies literally taste and feel insanely unnatural

    • @joement9443
      @joement9443 Рік тому +35

      @@MatthewCJoy I respect your opinion but you're wrong.

    • @remf1sh532
      @remf1sh532 Рік тому

      @@MatthewCJoy CAUSE YOU ARE EATING CHIPS AHOY MASS PRODUCED GARBAGE SO YOU THINK CHEWY IS BAD. Eat a subway chewy cookie and stfu or find a bakery smh

  • @Shin3y
    @Shin3y 7 місяців тому +1

    I love biscoff cookies, but that's probably because my family made me fly spirit airlines most of the time.

  • @redstoneguy0563
    @redstoneguy0563 8 місяців тому

    i agree with your chewy chips rating, but i love them, it feels like rubber and i love them

  • @ethanjc1971
    @ethanjc1971 2 роки тому +307

    Honestly can’t believe that some “people” would ever eat Lenny and Larry’s cookies

  • @Mr.Manbat
    @Mr.Manbat Рік тому +944

    Something I realized is that the best parts of this video is just schlatt having good memories of certain cookies and just being wholesome for once lol

    • @silentbehn180
      @silentbehn180 Рік тому +5

      Man wrote a whole paragraph and got no reply’s smh

    • @kikicupcake1000
      @kikicupcake1000 Рік тому +28

      @@silentbehn180 one sentence isn’t a paragraph.

    • @bakugokatsuki1257
      @bakugokatsuki1257 Рік тому +7

      Also when he talks about the gay p-

    • @hazeltree7738
      @hazeltree7738 Рік тому +25

      ​@@kikicupcake1000 Jeez bro no need to bust out a whole essay 🥶

    • @shitter69420
      @shitter69420 11 місяців тому +18

      ​@@hazeltree7738Woah! Calm down there, Charles Dickens 🥶🥵🥶🥵🥵🥳🤧🤧🤕😵‍💫🤯

  • @Creativestname
    @Creativestname 8 місяців тому +1

    Schlatt is going through all the stages of fucking dementia In this video

  • @jaykwellen
    @jaykwellen 9 місяців тому +3

    My parents used to tell me the nilla wafers were 100 dollars so I would eat them all but instead I tried to portion them because I thought they were expensive and I ended up not eating them

  • @griffendenne4901
    @griffendenne4901 2 роки тому +116

    How did he explain the frosted sugar cookie thing so accurately

    • @HxwEKat
      @HxwEKat 2 роки тому +5

      Agreed! It’s so yummy but god, the sadness afterwards

  • @dreadmink8577
    @dreadmink8577 2 роки тому +423

    "Chewy cookies are for terrible people"
    Well that makes more sense they are the only cookie i like (with a few exceptions)

    • @Unoriginal____Starwalker
      @Unoriginal____Starwalker Рік тому +1

      @Furfox they are saying they are a terrible person. Bruh, also chewy cookies are delicious.

  • @trapped_in_cabinets
    @trapped_in_cabinets 8 місяців тому

    he really just tore everyones childhood into pieces

  • @lulu..e
    @lulu..e 8 місяців тому

    "atone for your sins?.."
    the pope in the back: yes.. ATONE FOR THEM

  • @Uhstraalis
    @Uhstraalis 2 роки тому +183

    The chat: says chewy cookies are s tier
    Jschlatt: **DISGUSTING**
    The chat: I always hated chewy cookies

  • @WizzardTelevision
    @WizzardTelevision 2 роки тому +221

    Hot take:
    Cookies with a good crunch outside and that perfect amount of softness on the inside.
    Not to the point of rubber but like
    You bite into it
    You get that satisfying crunch and just that extra little bit of gooeyness helps it melt in your mouth
    It's VERY hard to pull off but when it's pulled off
    O h m a n.

    • @LtCdrXander
      @LtCdrXander 2 роки тому +15

      Hot take:
      Shafts with a good girth outside and that perfect amount of liquid on the inside.
      Not to the point of penetration but like
      You suck it.
      You get that satisfying explosion, and just that extra little bit of gooeyness helps it melt in your mouth.
      It's VERY hard, and when it explodes...
      O h h h m a n

    • @linkly9272
      @linkly9272 2 роки тому +1

      sounds like you just like crusty pissbombing but with cookies

    • @OmgItzCOLTON
      @OmgItzCOLTON 2 роки тому +2

      @@LtCdrXander very hot take indeed ;)

    • @user-js1mf7gg8t
      @user-js1mf7gg8t 2 роки тому +3

      Do you know what hot take means?

    • @WizzardTelevision
      @WizzardTelevision 2 роки тому +4

      @@LtCdrXander Jchlatt's comment section never ceases to amuse.

  • @MidStar_gamer95
    @MidStar_gamer95 2 місяці тому

    You are the sole reason why I tried milanos and they slap and the Carmel macchiato ones taste so good

  • @DannyAlmond
    @DannyAlmond 8 місяців тому

    Pepperridge Farms remembers what Schlatt said in 1999....Never Forget.

  • @isimartsy3422
    @isimartsy3422 2 роки тому +481

    "Do you call them Ranboo cookies?" Ah, Schlatt.. You never fail to make me laugh.

  • @mrender5108
    @mrender5108 2 роки тому +233

    I always love it when Schlatt does a tier list because he always gives good reasons for why he likes and doesn't like them

    • @hamburger2430
      @hamburger2430 2 роки тому

      Ha

    • @wgairborne209
      @wgairborne209 2 роки тому +2

      Blatently wrong, some stuff he doesn't even give a reason why it sucks.

    • @pokaay3163
      @pokaay3163 2 роки тому +1

      Dude dunked on my beloved lemon oreo cookies and you mean to tell me he is a good spokesperson for opinions on cookies? Shame

  • @_medicfromtf2
    @_medicfromtf2 9 місяців тому

    when you think about it, complaints that won’t ever be answered are the og “opinion and someone says ratio” thing

  • @braxtonmayes
    @braxtonmayes 3 місяці тому

    i was feeling depressed but watching you always makes me laugh

  • @LooneyNuke
    @LooneyNuke 2 роки тому +217

    Bro we need a 6 hour long stream of Schlatt listening to Everywhere at the End of Time in one sitting

    • @DrRocket8775
      @DrRocket8775 2 роки тому +2

      Hell yes, I want to see him get destroyed by those albums

    • @user-zy2rn3ne1b
      @user-zy2rn3ne1b 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/CQHG12lIIQk/v-deo.html
      So true..

    • @Nikmg0
      @Nikmg0 2 роки тому

      He uploaded full stream on Jschlatt vods

    • @DrRocket8775
      @DrRocket8775 2 роки тому

      @@Nikmg0 no he hasn't; on both the official and archive VOD channels there isn't one where he listens to all the albums in sequence

  • @trevdoesweirdthings
    @trevdoesweirdthings Рік тому +452

    I love how Schlatt completely changed sides about the chewy cookies from Chuckle Sandwich. Deep down this man is pushing away the childlike joy that you get from eating cookie dough.

    • @PS1Walter
      @PS1Walter 9 місяців тому +29

      chewy cookies are fantastic and i will not be taking counterpoints. if we can get him to change sides from doors to wheels, we can get him to come back to our side.

    • @woofle7
      @woofle7 9 місяців тому +2

      chewy cookies taste nothing like cookiedough they're just stale cookies

    • @canaan56
      @canaan56 9 місяців тому +11

      @@woofle7that’s just wrong info

    • @seaman4610
      @seaman4610 9 місяців тому +4

      ⁠Wouldn’t a stale cookie be even harder than normal?

    • @canaan56
      @canaan56 9 місяців тому +1

      @seaman4610 no it would be crumbley asf and taste like a dry piece of cardboard

  • @sweetseremine
    @sweetseremine 9 місяців тому

    YES THE FROSTED SUGAR COOKIE I WAS CRYING WHEN YOU SAID IT WAS GOOD LIKE I LEGIT JUST FINISHED OF A THING OF WALMART FROSTED SUGAR COOKIES REGRETFULLY BEFORE WATCHING THIS

  • @ieatrats8224
    @ieatrats8224 9 місяців тому +1

    12k dislikes. I can still see them. You can't hide forever schlatt.

  • @spamdarsh4319
    @spamdarsh4319 2 роки тому +444

    Finally, someone who properly explained how it is to eat frosted sugar cookies.

    • @thebxtcher8378
      @thebxtcher8378 Рік тому +13

      Frosted sugar cookies are the epitome of awful

    • @spamdarsh4319
      @spamdarsh4319 Рік тому +6

      @@thebxtcher8378 But are also really good.

    • @inachos9766
      @inachos9766 Рік тому

      @@thebxtcher8378 bruh

    • @Zecxrity
      @Zecxrity Рік тому +6

      That's basically how it is eating anything with sugar

    • @spamdarsh4319
      @spamdarsh4319 Рік тому +4

      @@ZecxrityMaybe so, but frosted sugar cookies are easily the most extreme example of that notion.

  • @pudpud_
    @pudpud_ 2 роки тому +74

    “anyone who eats oreo thins is just trying to make themselves feel better”
    me: *that felt personal*

    • @aceeduventures
      @aceeduventures 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/AJfQ_FB9naA/v-deo.html
      Finally here..

  • @FiSsIoN925
    @FiSsIoN925 9 місяців тому

    I thinks tears ran down my cheeks when I found out the dad's rings were discontinued, I probably gained around 8 pounds because of these cookies and I think everybody should get a chance to try them.

  • @TeamGhostDubs
    @TeamGhostDubs 6 місяців тому

    Completely unrelated, but groose's theme playing when the fig newtons were brought out was the most perfect thing known to man.

  • @onenightinkyoto2633
    @onenightinkyoto2633 2 роки тому +192

    13:10 when Schlatt was having a flashback from Fantano, I watched that a total of 23 times because of how hard it was making me laugh. It had no reason being that funny to me

    • @ElkkuH
      @ElkkuH 2 роки тому +5

      Currently doing that

    • @ayospaghetti7220
      @ayospaghetti7220 2 роки тому +5

      Currently just over came my laughing fit cause I instantly knew who he referenced and seeing fantano slowly appear on screen killed meee

    • @TommyAgramonSeth
      @TommyAgramonSeth 2 роки тому +3

      And The Caretaker playing on the background as it happens really makes it perfect.
      At least I think it's The Caretaker... I forgor 💀

    • @ID0NTFUCKRATS
      @ID0NTFUCKRATS 2 роки тому

      What was the music?

    • @nitrofic914
      @nitrofic914 2 роки тому

      whats the music

  • @iansonofthor
    @iansonofthor 2 роки тому +301

    The tier lists make a return at the best time.

  • @aedan742
    @aedan742 2 місяці тому

    schambler: "chewy cookies are for terrible people."
    also schambler: "i love those homemade cookies when they're chewy and right out of the oven"

  • @FuntimeFoxyAlr
    @FuntimeFoxyAlr 9 місяців тому +1

    Before I go to this guys house I’ll watch every one of his ranking videos so I don’t bring the wrong snack