I used the 'a penis is just a cabbage' line on my wife while she as playing nintendo and now she's playing nintendo AND listening to an audiobook so she, quote, 'wont have to deal with (my) bullshit.' Thanks reddit!
Just picturing a person yelling "SOMEBODY STOP THE LONELINESS" At a shocked looking person with a drink in their hand over booming club music is sending me 😂
I loved that part, it was genuinely really charming. Like, it was absolutely a “task failed successfully” thing, but I loved it lol. Like, everyone in that thread was like “bollocks to this, let’s sing some Neil Diamond!”
It starts off normal, then there's always 1 guy who says some wack shit, and the rest of the redditors try to salvage the line. That's how we get "Girl, you are hotter then sunburns on my Aunt Pam."
This is one of my favorites now actually. I’m over here practically cripplingly sick and cackling my coughing ass off watching Matt’s videos with zero regret in regards to my sore throat
@@namantherockstar You seem legit. Though advertising in other people's comment sections isn't cool. That stuff can ruin your public image. I'll make an exception because you do actually make videos, but don't do this again.
Which god are we talking about? If it's Zeus, he DID actually bang a chick as a swan and have twins that were born from a frickin' egg... Mythology is fun. :P
If Matt ever does "Parents getting franchise names wrong", I once showed my Mum a song from DHMIS and she said "Is this from Dont trust me I'm naked? The one with the Duck?" ☠️
I was out with a couple of friends not to long ago and one of them brought the line "Excuse me but I shat in my bed, can I sleep in yours tonight?" Worst part? It actually worked
fun fact: there actually is a sub specifically for this kind of thing: r/onewordeach . not just pickup lines, either; could be anything from "what should i get my girlfriend for her birthday? owe" to "help i stole owen wilson's lucky underwear and now he's sending a hitman after me! owe" might be fun to do a video on that sometime.
@@N95j I have two guesses, the first one I thought of first the second one I think is more likely 1: That's how you end a sentence, similar to "goodbye" on r/askouija 2: These are post titles, and they're formatted to have "one word each" at the end of each title.
I’m absolutely begging you do this again, I’ve already watched this 3 times and died cackling every time Edit: watched it for the fourth time and laughed so hard I was clutching my stomach and straining to fucking breathe. If I die, it’s gonna be because of this video. I was trying so hard not to just start screaming laughing, my whole family is asleep!
For those who don’t know, google translate tells me that the French one means “Hello, I’m in love.” Maybe everyone else can tell and I’m the idiot who only knows 1 French word, but it’s telling that the only somewhat affectionate pick-up line Reddit could come up with isn’t in English at all.
@@OntarioTrafficMan Ah… that’s more on brand for Reddit. This is why I had the “google translate” caveat. That’s probably what they used to make the post.
@@MetaBloxer Okay, upon retrying the translation, I got something closer to what it actually means. I must’ve mistyped it or something the first time but you’re right, thinking about it now, they almost definitely just chose a random French word.
It made me feel weird the first time too, but you just need to embrace the feeling. You will learn soon enough, then unlock a world you thought you could only ever visit in your dreams.
The reaction of Matt telling his girlfriend a random pickup line constructed by the hive mind of reddit and her finding it nice is just, a knee-slapper.
Last night I randomly thought of the pickup line “are you a siren because you make me wanna jump into the ocean” It was 12 am and I now realize how fucking horrible that is.
I remember in school back in the day I overheard 2 of my classmates talking about girls. In that conversation one of them said that how he got with his girlfriend was by following her everywhere she went, and when she asked why, he responded: *"Because my mother told me to always follow my dreams"* This has got to be the best pickup line I've ever heard. But I would be very careful doing this with someone!
"black tights lightly skim your beautiful yet ghostly BUM HAIR." is one of the most haunting pickup lines i've ever heard edit: to answer the title's question, no. they say the most cursed words the in strangest ways and it just baffles me.
@@luna_nova_09the initial idea you’d expect with “kids” is something about making babies, but “kids,” with the comma, implies that the person is talking to children, so pedophilia
I don't know _why_ this is my favorite video you've made, but I am in literal tears laughing right now. The cabbage foreshadowing was pristine brilliance.
For me, this is the best video on the channel. I just come back to it about once a month and can't breathe properly because while laughing at one hilariously delivered line, I hear another and laugh even harder. Simply brilliant.
I reckon the person who turned 4:08 into sweet Caroline is British For some reason we can’t get enough of this song My best friend is always blasting it at full volume while she makes pancakes
While this might for sure be true. I feel like equally Americans also do this? Because I have been present for numerous occasions where the phrase sweet Caroline has been uttered and the entire room busts out with the 'BAHBABAH' I like to think it might be a human thing. Something to unite us all.
@@ravenvalentine9823at my school, that song is usually used for the bell and so I've grown to hate it, only for it to play in between sets at a show I went to, so it's definitely us Americans as well cuz everyone was singing along
"When are we gonna kiss your dog?" is actually so clever because it implies that you will be going to their house and spending time getting affectionate with them there, it's just a matter of when. It's subtle like "so how do you like your eggs in the morning" used to be. It also implies that you are an animal lover, which, bonus.
I laughed so hard it made my stomach cramp worse. Nice to know I'm not the only one who decided to watch funny videos and managed to hurt myself more in the process. 😂
Please don’t suck my nose
I
why not
*sucks*
u gonna stop me sweetcheeks?
Stop having such a succulent nose then
I used the 'a penis is just a cabbage' line on my wife while she as playing nintendo and now she's playing nintendo AND listening to an audiobook so she, quote, 'wont have to deal with (my) bullshit.'
Thanks reddit!
Reddit: helping couples raise their productivity by 200%
Just wait until she starts eating cabbage, then say it again
you got it wrong
@@dizzy_jumpyeah, it should be "cabbage is just penis in disguise."
Your wife plays nintendo? Damn, you got lucky
One Redditor may not be able to get a girlfriend, but with the power of teamwork, *many* Redditors may not be able to get a girlfriend.
Like crabs in a bucket
Can they get a boyfriend tho
@@kyokazutoThat sounds... Kinda gay ngl
@@Davian2073science says that it is 100% straight to fuck guys
ape together still not strong
Just picturing a person yelling "SOMEBODY STOP THE LONELINESS" At a shocked looking person with a drink in their hand over booming club music is sending me 😂
It's like something out of a novel.
That sounds like it has happened already 21 times in 21 clubs and 21 pubs in 21 countries for 21 men
@@robinrehlinghaus1944hmmmm, technically wouldn’t that be a bit more than 21 times? just curious
@@N95j 21 times per club y'see
@@badwulff Wouldn't you have to adjust the number of instances per country for population and popularity of club culture in that country?
“Comment removed by moderator” is such an underrated inclusion.
What in the world could that one word have been?? 😂
@@Hi-dx1xkSome things are best to remain unknown..
no beings shall know what horrors lie beneath such statement...
It makes the joke funnier.
There’s only one word that’s more horrific than a swear word. That if I even said it here I would get banned.
"I’m horny, so watch out" is the one sentence for the whole internet
“You can’t sum up the internet in one sentence.”
Me, an intellectual:
Internet can be cool
i sure am💀
"NEVER make decisions when you're horny"
someone smarter than me, probably
Zeus be like
i love that part where reddit decides to sing sweet caroline cause it actually may work as a pickup line
Well, her name has to be actually Caroline but yeah.
@@icecranberry2148 Or you have to be a really good singer
@@icecranberry2148- "Who's Caroline? My name's Rachel."
@@DitzyNizzy2009 "Whoops, sorry!" *starts singing "Rosanna" by Toto*
I loved that part, it was genuinely really charming. Like, it was absolutely a “task failed successfully” thing, but I loved it lol. Like, everyone in that thread was like “bollocks to this, let’s sing some Neil Diamond!”
Matt Rose is like an internet archeologist, he’s constantly finding posts from a time long ago
@SidTheSquid999you
@@Capybara_Productionsa
Pineapple?
@@SauceTheSecond cuz
@@25VolarSleet bromelain
"are you my mom because you look like my father's wife"
gets me giggling every time
Fr it sounds like a lost child finding his mum 😭
3:25 is timestamp if you guys need it
@@HDKEBSKSSDNDBDKEHE w
@@FilipinoNoob69420 thank you and yw
I read it as "are you my mom because you look like my wife's father"
It starts off normal, then there's always 1 guy who says some wack shit, and the rest of the redditors try to salvage the line. That's how we get "Girl, you are hotter then sunburns on my Aunt Pam."
Then why does the wack shit get upvoted lol it’s obviously better that way
Do
You
Want
To
Sex?
My
Bed?
“Are you my mom cause you look like my fathers wife”
I genuinely love that line 😂😂😂
Usually it's the last word that's weird. A punchline of sorts.
"You look like a fookin horse" immediately followed by "Let's intercourse for many seconds" had me WHEEZING.
I have never heard of a better pickup line than "Let us intercourse for many seconds".
FR LMAO
verbing nouns will never not be funny.
Henry 8th be like:
Sarah Jessica Parker
this is probably one of the few videos that I haven't heard Matt say "skullemoji" and I am genuinely surprised.
Huh, true. I didn't think about that...
Well he has the one piece skull on his shirt💀☠️🏴☠️
Emojis are kinda a taboo on reddit
he did use the skull emoji in the description!
SKULLL EMMOJIIII
"Bonjour, je brûlée amoureux" is probably the most threatening thing here, omg lol
"Good morning, I burned in love"
Sounds like they set their SO on fire
I fell into a burning ring of fire
Sounds romantic to me, sounds like they are burning due to being in love with them
@@doo_lissdu_lighost6133 and it burned burned burned, the flames went higher
@@vincenttrigg4521 yass!
"Let me get us a table at McDicks" had me wheezing of laughter lmao. It sounds like something you COULD say, but you just royally screw up
are
@@Demoli1584 you
@@pinkcowqueensure
@@dragooon784 that
@@pinkcowqueen you
this is the equivalent of re-translating a phrase into rarely used language hundreds of times
Eh, not enough instances of "I came".
Or insisting they are "grounded and high"
@@aionicthunder I see you are a man of culture.
But the truth is, I'm gonna end my father. Him. All.
@@aionicthunderwhen you ask gays what they did at the party
Especially the "Let's intercourse for many seconds" one.
@@aionicthunder a possible Book of Mario fan?
"Tonight, you will wank" sounds more like an answer to the pickup line than a pickup line itself
it sounds like the beginning of a movie trailer
“The doctor said you’d never wank again… It’s a miracle!”
@@Gary-Eng A horror movie trailer, the quote very much feels like a threat
It sounds like a command
@@AngelBirdoget ready for the wank of your life
Need more of these "one word at a time" videos, cause this is hilariously amazing
No, no they can’t. Out of any group of people ever, Reddit are the worst possible people to be charismatic
Agreed. They're as charismatic as a wall
@@zorapianist even a wall is more inviting to run into than a redditor
@@zorapianistThat's an insult to walls
Some people have told me that I was wrong to date Comic Book Guy because he looks like he spends an ungodly amount of time on Reddit
@@donpollo3154what about a disc mod
This is one of my favorites now actually. I’m over here practically cripplingly sick and cackling my coughing ass off watching Matt’s videos with zero regret in regards to my sore throat
I have to keep rewinding because I miss the next ones from laughing 😂
Feel better soon! ☺️
same
Get well soon. Being ill is shit. X
Literally same, thank you for brightening our sick days, Matt!
And like always. Reddit is just the equivalent of a classroom of 8th graders hicked off ecstacy
Tbh this is from the golden period 7 or 8 years ago. The platform has since botted up and devolved noticeably.
Yup. THATS WHY THAT HAPENED OMFG LAST UEAR WAS AWFUL😭😭😭😭💀
@@namantherockstar You seem legit. Though advertising in other people's comment sections isn't cool. That stuff can ruin your public image. I'll make an exception because you do actually make videos, but don't do this again.
@@husky0098 Bro they're a bot they literally spam this on a ton of videos in order to get views and subscribers, they definitely are NOT legit.
Been there done that-
I love how they can't form a coherent sentence but as soon as someone starts singing Sweet Caroline everyone's all in
I don't want to alarm you Matt, but Bamboo has turned into a cabbage.
I don't want to alarm you but that wasn't his Bamboo.
@@nealjroberts4050r/whooosh
No, that's not Bamboo, that's a penis. Remember, cabbage is just penis in disguise.
@@namantherockstar how old are you?
@@namantherockstarbeg more
The guy who placed a comma after "kids" is a true hero
KIDS, comma, NOW
that couldve, ahem, gone uh very wrong
Wait, what?
@@Blake_H_888 the sentence couldve turned into, uh, any number of sexual prompts involving children-
✋🏻sex😏 🗡️NOW😠
4:02 -“Did god have sex with an ostrich?-“ That’s got to be the MOST random setup line i’ve ever heard but the punchline actually works 😂
does it?
_does it?_
Which god are we talking about? If it's Zeus, he DID actually bang a chick as a swan and have twins that were born from a frickin' egg...
Mythology is fun. :P
500th like!
*_does it?_*
“Lemme get us a table at Mcdick’s” is CRIMINALLY underappreciated
Yeah I'm not into men, but for people who are, surely that would work, no??
@@Jupiter-T Nah, it works for straight guys too.
“Hey girl, lemme get us a table at McDick’s. What’re you orderin’?”
@@8squared007 Straight men like to be called girls? XD
If Matt ever does "Parents getting franchise names wrong", I once showed my Mum a song from DHMIS and she said
"Is this from Dont trust me I'm naked? The one with the Duck?"
☠️
He already did that with movie names, with some other ones thrown in, so this would be a sequel
Man, I sure do love hit UA-cam series turned somehow just as excellent TV show Don't Trust Me, I'm Naked
SKUH-HUUUULL EMOJAAAY
IM SORRY BUT THIS SO FUCKING HILARIOUS WHAT
"Don't Trust Me, I'm Naked" sounds like the worst porn parody in the history of porn parodies.
I was out with a couple of friends not to long ago and one of them brought the line "Excuse me but I shat in my bed, can I sleep in yours tonight?" Worst part? It actually worked
What are people DOING out there
Bro 💀
Excuse me?!
What the cow
How the absolute fuck did that work
"How hard is calculus? Not as hard as my.. prostate" is possibly the best pickup line ever
Last guy saved it from being worse lol
@@Slimeball21_3 not as hard as my... heart :(
Bro has prostate cancer 😭
“Methamphetamine sure tastes sweeter on tits” is actually a great pickup line
No
@@cursedbeans5560yes.
Im gonna use it on my friend and see how they react lmao
I never expected to hear this from someone with a Ralsei pfp
what happened to ralsei
how did he get on this horrific part of the internet
why did you stoop down to reddit
Off topic but like why does Matt’s wife sound like the nicest lady ever LOL
Ye she's a goodun
she sounds like she makes the best cookies
SHE IS 😭😭😭💗💗💗
Yeah I met her personally yerterday night, she is a sweetheart ❤ 😊
@@mr_dumbgogles4281is this sarcastic or not IM GOING INSANE
WAIT Matt stroking the cabbage at the beginning was foreshadowing. “Cabbage is just penis in disguise.” I feel so clever.
You ARE so clever! I didn't realize until I read this comment, haha!
@@ce7624 thanks lol
"No one DARES to suckle my t e e t before bathtime" made me laugh so unnecessarily hard.
I'm surprised no one dared start with the word
"Never"
Have
I
@@epos.nephiloeaten
@@pleaseenteraname1574hair
Weiner
Him calling his partner his "other half" is actually so sweet
It's an old British saying (at least I've only heard older people say it), I'm pretty sure it's more common in t'North
@@2cv693I hear it a decent bit and I'm down south
"better half" is the one I hear a lot in the pacific northwest of the US, personally
@@2cv693can agree,it is said a lot in the north,even by some of the modern generation
@@2cv693My boyfriend has been referring to me as such for the entirety of our relationship thus far. He's 30.
fun fact: there actually is a sub specifically for this kind of thing: r/onewordeach . not just pickup lines, either; could be anything from "what should i get my girlfriend for her birthday? owe" to "help i stole owen wilson's lucky underwear and now he's sending a hitman after me! owe"
might be fun to do a video on that sometime.
Sounds fun
why is owe at the end of both sentences? and im guessing owe = one word each.. but my question still stands
exactly@@N95j
@@N95j I have two guesses, the first one I thought of first the second one I think is more likely
1: That's how you end a sentence, similar to "goodbye" on r/askouija
2: These are post titles, and they're formatted to have "one word each" at the end of each title.
@N95j probably so if someone sees the post out of context, they know it's one word each
"Cabbage is just penis in disguise" gives a new meaning to Matt rubbing the cabbage in his lap in the intro
I JUST REALIZED
"they have already breached our defences"
Best part is that lettuce used to be a potent sex symbol... okay, lettuce isn't cabbage, but come on...
Matt sitting there with a cabbage between his legs was genius
exactly what I thought 😂
I’m glad someone other than me noticed
He was petting the cabbage.
@@2nukitv218 yeah
“Cabbage is just a…” OH
Moral of the story: no, reddit can not, in fact, write pick up lines with one word at a time
Edit: The replies 💀💀 that took a dark turn FAST
And I don't think UA-cam, Twitter, 4Chan or Tumblr can either.
@@dantelawrence4676bet.
Are
@@dantelawrence4676I don't know. Tumblr went through a phase a few years back of absolutely nailing pickup lines.
Idk, "You look hotter than a sunburn on my aunt Pam" actually works pretty well.
can youtube do it though?
man, your comedic timing is ON POINT. I was laughing my ass of the entire video because of it
I’m absolutely begging you do this again, I’ve already watched this 3 times and died cackling every time
Edit: watched it for the fourth time and laughed so hard I was clutching my stomach and straining to fucking breathe. If I die, it’s gonna be because of this video. I was trying so hard not to just start screaming laughing, my whole family is asleep!
How do not wake everyone up? Seriously
I had to stop after the cabbage one and continue later because I wasn't breathing.
“I’m. Sorry.”
Nono, that comes AFTER the pickup line.
For those who don’t know, google translate tells me that the French one means “Hello, I’m in love.” Maybe everyone else can tell and I’m the idiot who only knows 1 French word, but it’s telling that the only somewhat affectionate pick-up line Reddit could come up with isn’t in English at all.
damn
3:15 it says "Hello, I burned infatuated" where burned is the adjective, not the verb. Basically it makes no sense.
@@OntarioTrafficMan Ah… that’s more on brand for Reddit. This is why I had the “google translate” caveat. That’s probably what they used to make the post.
@@hobbytunez2519"brûlée" is probably from hearing "creme brûlée"
@@MetaBloxer Okay, upon retrying the translation, I got something closer to what it actually means. I must’ve mistyped it or something the first time but you’re right, thinking about it now, they almost definitely just chose a random French word.
Matt caressing a lettuce made me feel something, something really wierd
remember cabbage is just penis in disguise....
"Lettuce is just a pp in disguise" WAIT
@@MielBeta so he was masturbating the whole time...
It made me feel weird the first time too, but you just need to embrace the feeling. You will learn soon enough, then unlock a world you thought you could only ever visit in your dreams.
@@MielBetaOH WAIT I JUST REALIZED TOO
The reaction of Matt telling his girlfriend a random pickup line constructed by the hive mind of reddit and her finding it nice is just, a knee-slapper.
Last night I randomly thought of the pickup line “are you a siren because you make me wanna jump into the ocean”
It was 12 am and I now realize how fucking horrible that is.
Are you a siren? Because I’d jump in the ocean after you. Still not great…
Are you a siren? Because you're a man-eater with a voice that makes sailors drown themselves. That's definitely not going to work.
Are you a siren? Because you make me want to tie myself to the mast
I was in an absolutely horrid mood, but now I'm crying and wheezing from laughing so hard. Ten out of ten, Matt.
The way he deliver it make it sound like an actual compliment 2:43
It was, haven't you heard of that classic line?
“Let us get a table at McDicks” was my absolute favorite pickup line, made me snort
"Can you help me financially"
I felt that😢
"girl can you help me financially"
Signed, the aroace community
REAL?!
@@yuzameireal :)
so real
This is the most redditors have ever worked together and it's just beautiful. Like art.
look up r/place
@@skinsarentskill259 and of course r/AskOuija.
@@Scypek as someone on r/AskOuija i can confirm this
@@skinsarentskill259no this is better than r/place
@@skinsarentskill259getting flashbacks to bad apple being expertly drawn while Canada can't draw a fucking leaf
I keep trying to pick a favorite and I just keep rewatching. That one's my favorite
I think transgender and biologist is a bit of an oxymoron, isn't it?
@@XYZB0RGIf you had more than a basic biology textbook you would know Gender isn't just male or female. Mushrooms have roughly 6 Billion.
@@XYZB0RGit is
@@XYZB0RG Truly
@@XYZB0RG thats like saying a cyborg programmer is an oxymoron. It doesn't make any sense
“Is your dad a terrorist? Cuz you are the bomb” WHAT THE FUCK
I remember in school back in the day I overheard 2 of my classmates talking about girls.
In that conversation one of them said that how he got with his girlfriend was by following her everywhere she went, and when she asked why, he responded: *"Because my mother told me to always follow my dreams"*
This has got to be the best pickup line I've ever heard. But I would be very careful doing this with someone!
Maybe if you're out with some friends you can tail them for the outing.
But yeah don't start randomly following someone. Very unlikely to go well.
“Cabbage is just penis in disguise.”
Matt: (petting his cabbage in front of the world)
Bro im only half way through this video and this is proving to be my favorite Matt Rose video
"black tights lightly skim your beautiful yet ghostly BUM HAIR." is one of the most haunting pickup lines i've ever heard
edit: to answer the title's question, no. they say the most cursed words the in strangest ways and it just baffles me.
What would make bum hair ghostly exactly? 🤔
@@beepboopboopbeep3 only reddit knows.
@@beepboopboopbeep3 blonde bum hair?
@@beepboopboopbeep3it slowly sways in the wind
@@crimson6553 Sounds very majestic
3:17 "hello, i burned in love."
thank you
@@officerdonut27 you're welcome
thank you goo
@@Plut0TheCrypt1d i'm not goo i'm the stapoldy propaganda account...💔💔
@@stapoldypropagandaaccount wowzers
Reddit making up pickup lines is the funniest joke of the year.
PLEASE SEQUAL THIS IS MY FAVORITE EVER
2:11 the “(comma)” was a genius idea ngl
fr he thought of that
…can you explain the difference please? My brain isn’t co-operating with me today
@@luna_nova_09the initial idea you’d expect with “kids” is something about making babies, but “kids,” with the comma, implies that the person is talking to children, so pedophilia
@@luna_nova_09"kids now" Is like talking to kids or just referring to them
And "kids, now" Is like saying "You should get pregnant, now!"
@@agentmc7868 ohhh
your other half's reaction to the aunt pam's sunburn pickup line was the second best part of the video, only surpassed by the face you did afterwards.
this got me actually doubled over from laughing too much. incredible editing, that put me over the edge
About as smooth as sandpaper.
1:56 I love the thought of him not having soundproofing, Neighbours hear that late at night and decide "lol no."
Improved 3:06:
"Lemme get us a table at M'Dick."
Born too early to explore Space
Born too late to explore Earth
Born just in time to witness Reddit's pickup lines
.
Okay Heisenberg. Don’t you ever smuggle methamphetamine into another comment section.
@@epos.nephilo he subscribed to everyone ever
@@Styrofoam_Mannequin27huh
WHY ARE YOU EVERYWHERE (you have impeccable taste)
I don't know _why_ this is my favorite video you've made, but I am in literal tears laughing right now.
The cabbage foreshadowing was pristine brilliance.
This might be the best one yet. It’s definitely my favorite, haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. Thanks Matt!
I felt more loved in this video than I have my entire life
hey not sure how much of a joke this is but just wanted to let you know i love you
"pubic hair dost not tangle if thou shave" was my favorite
For me, this is the best video on the channel. I just come back to it about once a month and can't breathe properly because while laughing at one hilariously delivered line, I hear another and laugh even harder. Simply brilliant.
Matt with a blazer and a one piece shirt while drinking and petting cabbage is like a Austin powers villain and I love it
2:37 Matt is a rizz God fr
3:00 puts the intro in a whole new light....
😦
😳
*pets cabbage*
@@ILoveMath_Cats_Coding what
2:57 After the second time watching this video I just realised Matt was stroking a cabbage at the beginning...
Uhoh
This might be my seventh time watching this video (it always cracks me up) and I just now noticed that holy shit
reddit pickup lines are like drunk blonde girl combined with dementia and honestly i feel picked up
LMAO@@Chicken-1923
@@Chicken-1923 😂
Why specifically blonde?
@@Chicken-1923plzz😂
@@chestnut4860 Stereotype of blondes being dumb. Have you ever heard of a "dumb blonde joke"? More of a thing of the past.
there’s something nice about Matt referring to his partner as his other half.
that's not his partner, he literally split himself in half
he used a knockoff four sword
“Everyone wants romance but nobody wants my gonads”
I’ve never been so moved
"Are you going to poop first?"
Dayum, I knew dates could get weird, but emotionally scarring card games never crossed my mind
if someone used any of these on me i’d probably marry them on the spot 💀
Now that I’ve heard them here, they will definitely work on me in the future. 😂
Let's burn calories by skipping quickly through pillows
3:34 "HEY ASSHOLE!"
Doge,doge,doge,doge
kids, now
Do not date the guy who asked, “What is a condom?”!
No, no, he wants you to demonstrate, like when people say they don't know how shampoo works.
@@husky0098 😂😂 Is that really a thing?! 😂😂
@@moonbatt It's a classic
@@husky0098 WOW! 🤣🤣🤣
@@moonbattlook up what the labelling on snow fairy shampoo says lol
I reckon the person who turned 4:08 into sweet Caroline is British
For some reason we can’t get enough of this song
My best friend is always blasting it at full volume while she makes pancakes
While this might for sure be true. I feel like equally Americans also do this? Because I have been present for numerous occasions where the phrase sweet Caroline has been uttered and the entire room busts out with the 'BAHBABAH'
I like to think it might be a human thing. Something to unite us all.
@@ravenvalentine9823 Lol
The song has weird powers
@@ravenvalentine9823at my school, that song is usually used for the bell and so I've grown to hate it, only for it to play in between sets at a show I went to, so it's definitely us Americans as well cuz everyone was singing along
This is the funniest video I've ever seen ever and that's not an exaggeration
3:34 got me💀
3:48 - By far the best one LMAO
i havent laughed this hard in so long
Same
on@@iamnolongerhereanymore
for those who didnt understand the french part, it can be roughly translated to: Hi, i burned your lover.
2:51 guys, it fucking works, holy shit I'm 100% going to get some sloppy toppy with this.
Good luck
I was about to shame you for having a foot fetish because I read "sloppy toes" 💀
good luck 🫡 hope you wont die
@@husky0098oh god…
block 100+
"When are we gonna kiss your dog?" is actually so clever because it implies that you will be going to their house and spending time getting affectionate with them there, it's just a matter of when. It's subtle like "so how do you like your eggs in the morning" used to be.
It also implies that you are an animal lover, which, bonus.
One of the only lines here that has a chance of working probably
1:56 thanks Matt, I currently have toothache and by laughing so hard I coughed which aggravated it and is causing me lots of pain :)
I laughed so hard it made my stomach cramp worse. Nice to know I'm not the only one who decided to watch funny videos and managed to hurt myself more in the process. 😂
Having pains in my side, watched this, pains got worse, 10/10.
4:32 He's confused, but he got the spirit😂
3:25 "Are you my mom? 'Cause you look like my father's wife"
WOW SO GOOD WOAHH
what?
"Black tights lightly skim your beautiful yet ghostly bum hair" is the all time favourite now :')
Short answer: No
Long answer: No, but with examples
These wouldn't be hilarious if we read them ourselves. The way Matt reads them is what breaks me🤣
3:43 I am obsessed with the using pal in flirting
"My horoscope told me the secret recipe to your heart" would've been so good if those added on words weren't there-
This is the first video in a long time that consistently kept me laughing for a good 97% of it