Predictive Text tries writing smooth pickup lines

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 1 лис 2024
  • A millennia ago it would have been courteous to scatter oats across an inn floor, these days it gets you in trouble smh

КОМЕНТАРІ • 5 тис.

  • @newtronuso7654
    @newtronuso7654 2 місяці тому +4761

    “I’m a world leader in the fuck business” is a crazy quote

    • @埊
      @埊 2 місяці тому +65

      "Im the world's leader in the union business", fancier ciqtaar.

    • @Kyuschi
      @Kyuschi 2 місяці тому +142

      sounds like a failed disco elysium skill check

    • @Ipomoea_Alba
      @Ipomoea_Alba 2 місяці тому +24

      @@Kyuschiwhat gibberish have you just uttered

    • @billybobjoephilcorncobtiptopge
      @billybobjoephilcorncobtiptopge 2 місяці тому +51

      @@Ipomoea_Alba it's a game mate

    • @jimc.goodfellas
      @jimc.goodfellas 2 місяці тому +4

      CRAZY

  • @Stupid_alien_cat311
    @Stupid_alien_cat311 2 місяці тому +2749

    Imagine being a owner of a bar and someone is saying the weirdest shit you’ve heard to a camera

  • @SoggyBrickWall
    @SoggyBrickWall 2 місяці тому +1756

    "the only way i could ever be a better human is to have my own body"
    I BEG YOUR PARDON?

    • @knockout8157
      @knockout8157 2 місяці тому +160

      I was going to make a joke about demonic possession but no matter how I word it *it always sounds dirty* 💀

    • @LovelyLara123
      @LovelyLara123 2 місяці тому +7

      WHAAAAA

    • @SysFan808
      @SysFan808 2 місяці тому +20

      i sold it for 20$.

    • @ЖаркоШкребић
      @ЖаркоШкребић 2 місяці тому +41

      @@knockout8157 Then do it, it should be a pickup line, I wanna hear what ideas you got.

    • @knockout8157
      @knockout8157 2 місяці тому +40

      @@ЖаркоШкребић it wasn’t even a pickup line it was just meant to be a joke 😅
      Something along the lines of “bro is going to possess his crush”
      T-T

  • @Generic-Internet-User666
    @Generic-Internet-User666 Місяць тому +28

    "You should have a better day because I am with you."
    Well I guess it's direct haha

  • @danuostret1900
    @danuostret1900 2 місяці тому +4522

    Imagine a dating app where you're only able to use predictive text

    • @felixhatton7334
      @felixhatton7334 2 місяці тому +2107

      It would 100% be called Fumble

    • @LordCrate-du8zm
      @LordCrate-du8zm 2 місяці тому +575

      This would VERY QUICKLY go downhill, but in a fun way.

    • @GNE-Gaming
      @GNE-Gaming 2 місяці тому +207

      The only way I could do that was if you wanted me too
      Predictive text madness

    • @Cuevamus
      @Cuevamus 2 місяці тому +132

      it would be hell.
      And I mean that in a figurative way.

    • @prestontheruler9332
      @prestontheruler9332 2 місяці тому

      @@felixhatton7334FURBY

  • @giganticscout6665
    @giganticscout6665 2 місяці тому +649

    "Please enter my bed 🛌 🙏 and then kill the rest"
    Predictive text is surprisingly good on that one. I should've stopped at bed though.

  • @batata74
    @batata74 2 місяці тому +736

    "The twist is that I can't read"
    Predictive text, mischievous as always

    • @Sleepless_dave
      @Sleepless_dave 2 місяці тому +7

      Oh no

    • @naturegirl1999
      @naturegirl1999 2 місяці тому +12

      I’m so glad you found the right person for you and I love you very much
      Oh hey< this works kinda

  • @TomatePasFraiche
    @TomatePasFraiche Місяць тому +7

    I can't help it but "Are you coming home with me today or tomorrow" got my vote for most simple yet full of implications

  • @Esse4567
    @Esse4567 2 місяці тому +443

    Getting offered a sponsor by the CMO of a company only to straight-up ask them "are u m or f" is the most Matt Rose thing ever

    • @pennyblush98
      @pennyblush98 Місяць тому +26

      I popped a blood vessel holding in my laughter there

    • @lohphat
      @lohphat Місяць тому +2

      Yeah….i mean, um…since when did it matter? 😏

    • @NJustBeingN
      @NJustBeingN Місяць тому +1

      i said that in a matt rose voice

    • @The-S-H3lf-Eater
      @The-S-H3lf-Eater 8 днів тому

      @@lohphat What mattered? What exactly out of this entire sentence?

    • @OminousBro
      @OminousBro 3 дні тому

      I am mf lmao

  • @nicandknacksandseans
    @nicandknacksandseans 2 місяці тому +1241

    "you don't need a license to be in a relationship with me" is absolutely the pick up line of a predator

    • @Unethical.Dodgson
      @Unethical.Dodgson 2 місяці тому +40

      To be fair: Everyone on the prowl for a date and using pick-up lines is technically considered a predator.
      Not quite what you meant, of course, but it is what you said.

    • @Roozyj
      @Roozyj 2 місяці тому +28

      @@Unethical.Dodgson I think a predator is usually used for people who want to do bad things to said date, right?

    • @DinoandGalaxy
      @DinoandGalaxy 2 місяці тому +68

      @@Roozyjit’s usually people who are older “preying” on minors or younger people

    • @fa1ryf0x3s
      @fa1ryf0x3s Місяць тому +26

      @@DinoandGalaxy That's a child predator; the vaguer definition is what Roozyj described.

    • @Pinkcircleguy
      @Pinkcircleguy Місяць тому +11

      i was half expecting the person matt was texting to say "im 12"

  • @musicmartyr
    @musicmartyr Місяць тому +474

    I’m so obsessed with “The government will ignore my crimes if we hold hands” I’m already imagining a whole novel/film

    • @louannebvb
      @louannebvb Місяць тому +10

      Honestly I love that one

    • @Nutella2004
      @Nutella2004 Місяць тому +3

      Moopud

    • @The_uninvited
      @The_uninvited Місяць тому +9

      can we cast Adam Sandler for the guy?

    • @GunSpyEnthusiast
      @GunSpyEnthusiast Місяць тому

      Their crimes have nothing to do with sexual advances, he pissed on a police station wall and now they are out for blood.

    • @Thelastunicornlover
      @Thelastunicornlover Місяць тому +4

      🥰

  • @qwip
    @qwip Місяць тому +7

    "If you have any questions please contact me 💋 " direct and straightforward, nice 👍👍

  • @opiumsniffer2999
    @opiumsniffer2999 2 місяці тому +271

    “The government has been very clear that the situation is not going to improve”
    That’s rizz right there

  • @miraculouslymary2947
    @miraculouslymary2947 Місяць тому +216

    5:00
    "my throat is not an egg"
    "ok...
    ...can I still use it?"
    Underrated moment lmao

  • @joshhaworth2155
    @joshhaworth2155 2 місяці тому +257

    "I'm going to be there in about five minutes to pick you up."
    Imagine getting that text from either a complete stranger or someone on a dating app you just matched with.

    • @witherful
      @witherful Місяць тому +20

      literal pick up line

  • @charlibeanie4144
    @charlibeanie4144 Місяць тому +24

    We got crazy lion stories so now we need weirdest emergency frog situations🐸 ‼️

  • @jinxtheunluckypony
    @jinxtheunluckypony Місяць тому +200

    “The only way I could do that is if you want me to do it.”
    Consent is everything!

  • @ZimMan2
    @ZimMan2 2 місяці тому +224

    “I’m just saying if you want to come over I would love that.”
    Nailed it.

    • @TacticalAnt420
      @TacticalAnt420 Місяць тому +9

      Smooth

    • @Vientianelover
      @Vientianelover Місяць тому +14

      "I think you are amazing and hearing about how much more expensive it got after the dissolution and Werewolves will be acting like villagers the city and many people are expecting an offensive before year end." Not smooth 😢

    • @Sepi-chu_loves_moths
      @Sepi-chu_loves_moths Місяць тому +9

      @@Vientianelover im sure youd be able to rizz up many medieval partners

    • @ValentinaxEdits
      @ValentinaxEdits Місяць тому +3

      @@Vientianelover
      Imma send this to a friend

    • @satgurs
      @satgurs Місяць тому +1

      mf has so much experience that even his predictive text is smooth

  • @Cerealously
    @Cerealously 2 місяці тому +447

    “My dad was in a hospital when he died I love hotdogs ” such a great pick up line

    • @nomoretwitterhandles
      @nomoretwitterhandles 2 місяці тому +19

      sounds like me when im having an episode

    • @KRYoung_dev
      @KRYoung_dev Місяць тому +12

      I love hotdogs so this would probably work on me.

    • @Cerealously
      @Cerealously Місяць тому +5

      @@KRYoung_dev honestly fair enough

    • @SavouryGalette
      @SavouryGalette Місяць тому +16

      The sheer whiplash from "My dad died :(" to "I love hotdogs :3" caught me SO off guard 💀

    • @Cerealously
      @Cerealously Місяць тому +6

      @@SavouryGalette like if someone told you that they were gonna be nuked in 5 seconds and then said “I have 40 cats all called fries!:3”

  • @speakamumbo
    @speakamumbo Місяць тому +5

    “The only thing that matters to me is that you have a great relationship with me”
    Very smooth

  • @tsifirakiehl4250
    @tsifirakiehl4250 2 місяці тому +430

    “I’m just saying that you have a good heart.” My predictive text is weirdly wholesome today!

    • @somerandomperson1221
      @somerandomperson1221 2 місяці тому +7

      I’m just saying that I don’t know what to do with my life right now. Lol autocomplete is sad today

    • @C1-wz9jj
      @C1-wz9jj 2 місяці тому +9

      my predictive text is quite rude at times lmao
      my theory is that it’s a female going through the menopause or it’s a teen boy going through mood swings
      “you are a baby and you don’t want me around to get you out and i don’t wanna get in a relationship and i want you to get a job and a girlfriend and a boyfriend and a break from the fact that you are a child”

    • @Brass319
      @Brass319 2 місяці тому +8

      mine said "You know I wasn't going to be there for you"... yikes

    • @christinedube4347
      @christinedube4347 2 місяці тому +3

      "Even if you want to be the first one to be a part of my life, I love you all the time" Could be worse🤷‍♀️

    • @eorlundgraumahne37
      @eorlundgraumahne37 2 місяці тому +4

      "Im just saying that you are going to war against the lord of Pop"
      Against who!?

  • @myrandomthoughts1185
    @myrandomthoughts1185 2 місяці тому +352

    ‘I don’t have a problem with the fact that you are not in the right place at the moment and I am not going to make you do anything for me’
    That’s actually kinda sweet 💀

    • @Jupiter-T
      @Jupiter-T 2 місяці тому +48

      Yeah that's like a pretty good response to someone not feeling it during a hookup, or like in a bad mental space

  • @felixhatton7334
    @felixhatton7334 2 місяці тому +1104

    ‘Good afternoon Matt’ we all say in unison

  • @MatthewConnellan-xc3oj
    @MatthewConnellan-xc3oj Місяць тому +5

    “Know your worth and you will always have it. You will be loved by all the people around you.”

    • @witherful
      @witherful Місяць тому +2

      thats actually very sweet!!!! (^///^)

  • @PrinceKodi776
    @PrinceKodi776 2 місяці тому +301

    “I am so glad you are feeling a lot of pain” certainly would go over well

    • @TheGelasiaBlythe
      @TheGelasiaBlythe 2 місяці тому +10

      Only if you're a Dr. Feelgood with a pocket full of something to help. Not exactly a pickup line, though - unless you're picking up buyers.

    • @gengarzilla1685
      @gengarzilla1685 2 місяці тому +20

      Apparently your predictive text has been fed dialogue from Fifty Shades of Grey.

    • @painteater_
      @painteater_ 2 місяці тому +11

      I mean, it would do well with a masochist maybe?

    • @contortionyx
      @contortionyx 2 місяці тому +1

      Think it could work in certain specific contexts

  • @singingblueberry
    @singingblueberry 2 місяці тому +146

    "I want to feel your body on mine" Forward, but straight to the point.

  • @smallxplosion9546
    @smallxplosion9546 2 місяці тому +393

    “You are the best mom in this whole entire universe” I don’t think that’s how it works

    • @gengarzilla1685
      @gengarzilla1685 2 місяці тому

      Perfect if you want a milf.

    • @LendriMujina
      @LendriMujina 2 місяці тому +55

      It is if your name's Freud.

    • @posthistoricdino422
      @posthistoricdino422 2 місяці тому +5

      depends on the relationship, this is essentially what my girlfriend says to ke

    • @LiminallyYours
      @LiminallyYours 2 місяці тому +24

      "Mommy, I mean mommy, I mean-"

    • @EatAnOctorok
      @EatAnOctorok Місяць тому +15

      "I'm gonna *_make_* you the best mom in this whole entire universe"

  • @IMakeEditsNow
    @IMakeEditsNow Місяць тому +10

    “Have you ever seen someone with a big nose”
    … I wonder why I’m single.

  • @floweyseed
    @floweyseed 2 місяці тому +178

    “the only way i could ever be a better human is by being able to see the light of my life and not being afraid to look at it”
    kinda poetic ngl

  • @Eclipse_With_ClawsNpaws
    @Eclipse_With_ClawsNpaws 2 місяці тому +248

    "I am thankful for you and I hope you will be mine"
    Pretty straightforward.

    • @SotraEngine4
      @SotraEngine4 2 місяці тому +12

      Awww

    • @lukakaps9548
      @lukakaps9548 2 місяці тому +21

      But maybe a little possessive as an opener 6/10

    • @STARR503
      @STARR503 2 місяці тому +1

      I present...two wuv but sung by predictive text by: Android horrorwizz
      I have no clue about
      Its over the same thing
      Two years later I was
      I am not sure if you are
      But im was a few minutes
      How my eyes are so ill and
      It took a lot more to
      But right now I have a lot
      *epic guitar riff*

    • @N_IRL
      @N_IRL 2 місяці тому +3

      ​@@lukakaps9548Not necessarily, I think it depends on how it's said or if it's Valentine's Day

    • @TacticalAnt420
      @TacticalAnt420 Місяць тому +2

      Cute, if I liked you back I would blush so hard

  • @willowthetree9847
    @willowthetree9847 2 місяці тому +338

    "I'm not a huge believer in the concept of being able to make money from your job but I think it's a very interesting idea"
    ^every large coorperation

    • @Sleepless_dave
      @Sleepless_dave 2 місяці тому +3

      Phone guy?????1???1

    • @EcclesiastesLiker-py5ts
      @EcclesiastesLiker-py5ts Місяць тому +5

      - Babylonian god-kings considering enslaving slightly fewer of their subjects (they probably won't)

    • @DJVideso
      @DJVideso Місяць тому

      Corporation*

  • @The_Brick_Maniac
    @The_Brick_Maniac Місяць тому +16

    6:37 holy shit he said Lemon Demon

  • @chitarah
    @chitarah 2 місяці тому +255

    Matt Rose will not stop at anything to give us good content. He literally went into a random bar and spilled cereal grains all over the floor for us.

    • @iamzurvan
      @iamzurvan 2 місяці тому +22

      The second barkeep was so angry you could hear it in her voice lmfaoooo

    • @chitarah
      @chitarah 2 місяці тому +4

      @@iamzurvan Lol!

    • @ClorindeASMRWhen
      @ClorindeASMRWhen 2 місяці тому +8

      In front of the GOAT Horatio Nelson too. That sheer level of disrespect by Brit standards.

    • @LiminallyYours
      @LiminallyYours 2 місяці тому +14

      @@iamzurvan Kind of rude of her, ngl, seeing how he clearly was cleaning it all up and never meant to cause problems.

    • @iamzurvan
      @iamzurvan 2 місяці тому +4

      @@LiminallyYours Absolutely agree lmfao

  • @MegaMonkeVr
    @MegaMonkeVr 2 місяці тому +558

    My best one that autocomplete gave me is “A new version for my new computer that is not a computer” 😂😂😂

    • @chitarah
      @chitarah 2 місяці тому +13

      Lol, what does this even mean? So cryptic, lol!!!!!

    • @planescaped
      @planescaped 2 місяці тому +21

      I just had "Keep me updated on the new job and how it goes when dead."
      Ominous...
      I also had "Please send me your address and I will be there"
      What a romantic, non threatening ice breaker. XD

    • @OmnipotentNoodle
      @OmnipotentNoodle 2 місяці тому +7

      Omg,, organoid intelligence dropped??? 😳

    • @chitarah
      @chitarah 2 місяці тому +4

      @@OmnipotentNoodle new single: cognition in a dish lol!

    • @goldbergvids
      @goldbergvids 2 місяці тому +2

      I got “The only way I could do that was if you wanted me too”
      What dkes that mean???

  • @solar_eclipse795
    @solar_eclipse795 2 місяці тому +69

    “I have been thinking about you and I miss your beautiful smile” that’s actually really nice

    • @Lich___
      @Lich___ 2 місяці тому

      I am unable to ascertain the data on the Saṅkrānti server but I don't have to do it myself and I need a new entry giving the experience to the body of my life and I have a hunger for you and I have a hunger for your heart and soul to transform into a holy weapon and to be a goblinoid for any remaining crewmen and the cult of the Broken.
      also
      I'm going to do that to you 🤠 the same time as the moon and the alleged cult leader and the mysterious things you need to get like that and then you can do it the right way to extend it.

  • @Luna29191
    @Luna29191 7 днів тому

    “The fact that we are not talking to each other is not the only factor that makes us feel that way and we have been working on a relationship”

  • @Garbag8Billion
    @Garbag8Billion Місяць тому +38

    “I’m not a fan of the way you look at me but you look like a very attractive person and I’m really happy for you”

    • @randomgoats
      @randomgoats Місяць тому +11

      that one sounds like it's politely fending someone off

  • @FoxtrotYouniform
    @FoxtrotYouniform 2 місяці тому +92

    "If I thought of something like this would you like me?"
    ffs, even my phone is desperate for affection

    • @neshian_draws
      @neshian_draws 2 місяці тому +2

      "Well, you are welcome home to me in a few days."
      Phone, tf does that mean?

  • @lux7525
    @lux7525 2 місяці тому +131

    "I am now at work and I will be sobbing" mood tbh I don't know about it as a pick up line tho lmao

    • @llamasugar5478
      @llamasugar5478 2 місяці тому +10

      This is me every Monday-Friday for the most part. My job is currently overwhelming me . . .

    • @lux7525
      @lux7525 2 місяці тому

      ​@@llamasugar5478 I hope it gets better for you! You got this

    • @TacticalAnt420
      @TacticalAnt420 Місяць тому +7

      @@llamasugar5478I’m a random person in a UA-cam comment section but I wanna wish you a good day, stay strong I hope it’ll get better

    • @llamasugar5478
      @llamasugar5478 Місяць тому +2

      @@lux7525 Thank you; I know it will!

  • @laurawilson2416
    @laurawilson2416 4 дні тому +2

    “I’m going to be in a little bit I have a meeting with the kids”
    Dawg wdym the kids 💀

  • @xthriteenx
    @xthriteenx 2 місяці тому +63

    “I don’t think I could handle this much longer without you.” It made a DECENT one

  • @Angel-ip7pw
    @Angel-ip7pw 2 місяці тому +51

    “Okay buddy I don’t want you” reverse psychology rizz

  • @feritye767
    @feritye767 2 місяці тому +57

    8:49 the way you said ''bro fumbled'' was so unexpected and funny because you said an online term like it was regular speech

  • @EstherTheAlien
    @EstherTheAlien 2 дні тому

    “The most important thing is that you don’t have a lot of people who want you “ dang

  • @Hexagonal_record
    @Hexagonal_record 2 місяці тому +110

    Imma try. "You wanna have some sort of Captain crunch with me?"

    • @jamesmatthews291
      @jamesmatthews291 2 місяці тому +36

      Now *that* is a euphemism.
      "Netflix and chill?" Pffft.
      "Some sort of Captain crunch with me" Magnificent!

    • @Lnoolius
      @Lnoolius 2 місяці тому +13

      Me too
      "The other day I was thinking about you having a nice time"
      Actually not bad

    • @gilbertdumotiermarquisdela8176
      @gilbertdumotiermarquisdela8176 2 місяці тому +22

      "You should probably go ahead and put your stuff in my house"
      guess we're living together already, dang time flies

    • @juno00033
      @juno00033 2 місяці тому

      hey girl you can crunch my captain any day​@jamesmatthews291

    • @TheGelasiaBlythe
      @TheGelasiaBlythe 2 місяці тому +11

      Who'd be crazy enough to turn their nose up at Captain Crunch?

  • @chitarah
    @chitarah 2 місяці тому +729

    Everyone: Technology is gonna take over the world!
    Technology:

    • @HellnawNaw-zq2jx
      @HellnawNaw-zq2jx 2 місяці тому +17

      Trust me it gets way worse

    • @TheOne_6
      @TheOne_6 2 місяці тому +4

      yes

    • @chitarah
      @chitarah 2 місяці тому +1

      @@HellnawNaw-zq2jxI bet!

    • @Cuevamus
      @Cuevamus 2 місяці тому +11

      well.. does technology know how to make chicken noodle soup.

    • @chitarah
      @chitarah 2 місяці тому +4

      @@CuevamusLol, what!?

  • @Remi-h5t
    @Remi-h5t 2 місяці тому +68

    “I don’t know what to do with myself anymore I just want to be able to be with you”
    Desperate

    • @SotraEngine4
      @SotraEngine4 2 місяці тому +6

      Kinda honest, though

    • @ryanspence5831
      @ryanspence5831 2 місяці тому +2

      Giving me flashbacks to when I got dumped

    • @satgurs
      @satgurs Місяць тому +2

      desperate but it is kinda cute

  • @Prototype_Gamez
    @Prototype_Gamez 10 днів тому +1

    “I am so happy to see you and your beautiful wife”
    what

  • @TheOneAndOnlyLobster
    @TheOneAndOnlyLobster 2 місяці тому +36

    “I don’t have any reasons to be honest” Very trustworthy 10/10

    • @hollow_art9099
      @hollow_art9099 2 місяці тому +2

      Could also be taken as something like "I don't have any reason to love you, I just do" but it does really sound like it's a pathological liar lmao

  • @williamfranciswhite450
    @williamfranciswhite450 2 місяці тому +58

    "I've got to tidy my oats because they've got a wedding" is my new favourite matt quote lol

    • @LendriMujina
      @LendriMujina 2 місяці тому +5

      I wonder if that wedding did the thing where they throw rice.

  • @christoffkemp6400
    @christoffkemp6400 2 місяці тому +47

    "Jesus you have a big boy on the sofa" is not what I expected from my predictive text

    • @Kickiusz
      @Kickiusz 2 місяці тому

      Ntr moment

    • @edwardking9359
      @edwardking9359 Місяць тому +7

      ​@Kickiusz bruh. First thing in my brain was they were talking about a dog....

  • @AngryDuck8461
    @AngryDuck8461 Місяць тому +1

    “The most important thing is that you don’t have any other choice” 😬😬😬

  • @Rum-Runner
    @Rum-Runner 2 місяці тому +34

    “I have no problem with the way you treat me but you don’t deserve to have that kind of attitude towards my ex” is always a go-to

  • @Ali-mv3jc
    @Ali-mv3jc 2 місяці тому +56

    "The police are in the car park, I think it might be easier to get it done now."
    Sorry what!

  • @androgynous_artist
    @androgynous_artist Місяць тому +68

    “I have a question for you do you want to go on a date with me and your mom”
    Huh… and it was going so well.

    • @TacticalAnt420
      @TacticalAnt420 Місяць тому +3

      Stop it at “and” and it’s perfectly fine!

  • @Mir12wx
    @Mir12wx 4 дні тому +1

    "I did not have a chance to talk to you about this and I think I should just go back to sleep "
    honestly I agree with predictive text I should sleep

  • @TheOne_6
    @TheOne_6 2 місяці тому +484

    This calls for an EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION!!!!

    • @TheOne_6
      @TheOne_6 2 місяці тому +92

      Or, an EMERGENCY FOG SITUATION!!!!

    • @Ashleyboomer.
      @Ashleyboomer. 2 місяці тому +46

      ​@@TheOne_6 the frog is coming the frog is coming the frog is coming the frog is coming

    • @TheDanishGuyReviews
      @TheDanishGuyReviews 2 місяці тому +7

      YOURS IS BETTER, HONESTLY!!!!

    • @Mcasii15
      @Mcasii15 2 місяці тому +9

      Consider:
      EMERGENCY "EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION" SITUATION

    • @bruhzzer
      @bruhzzer 2 місяці тому +6

      YESS I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG​@@Ashleyboomer.

  • @UdderlyEvelyn
    @UdderlyEvelyn 2 місяці тому +91

    "Obviously the bra will not be used for a while".. how does it know? HOW DOES IT KNOW I ALMOST NEVER WEAR IT. 😱

  • @maple-arigon
    @maple-arigon 2 місяці тому +50

    my phone came up with:
    "I love the way you look tired because of Ohm's law stating that you will"
    I swear I am not a science dweeb.

    • @G-Cole-01
      @G-Cole-01 Місяць тому +2

      this is an extremely overcomplicated way to call someone a conservative

  • @zSillyBilly
    @zSillyBilly Місяць тому

    “I don’t know how to explain this but I love this so much and I’m so glad that you’re enjoying this new journey with me”

  • @TaylornolanKABOOOOMMMM
    @TaylornolanKABOOOOMMMM 2 місяці тому +97

    “Hey dude I just wanted you to know that I am not pushing my sister down the stairs today”

    • @samoilis2276
      @samoilis2276 2 місяці тому +10

      Is that a reference to a videogame?

    • @toost5952
      @toost5952 2 місяці тому +12

      ​@@samoilis2276UHHHH GAME WITH ITALIAN HERB? REFERENCE ⁉️

    • @samoilis2276
      @samoilis2276 2 місяці тому +9

      @@toost5952 shush, no spoilers

    • @toost5952
      @toost5952 2 місяці тому +8

      @@samoilis2276 you right

    • @Its-pronounced-ay-zaer-e
      @Its-pronounced-ay-zaer-e Місяць тому +8

      something something mari

  • @shadowultimlifeform
    @shadowultimlifeform 2 місяці тому +91

    "i don't think i could handle a better person than you right now and i love you"
    certainly not a pickup line, but i… *suppose* that works…

    • @gengarzilla1685
      @gengarzilla1685 2 місяці тому +13

      It definitely sounds too advanced and slightly desperate to pull out on a first date.

    • @TheSleepySev
      @TheSleepySev 2 місяці тому +3

      SHODAW THE HEDGEHOX!!!

    • @R.K_Chalkboard
      @R.K_Chalkboard 2 місяці тому +16

      That's not a pickup line, that's a marriage vow.

    • @shadowultimlifeform
      @shadowultimlifeform 2 місяці тому +3

      @@R.K_Chalkboard that sounds a lot more accurate, actually.

  • @SauROnmiKE
    @SauROnmiKE Місяць тому +48

    "I was going to say I was going to get a new one for the weekend and then we can do it on the floor"
    WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO GET?!

    • @glebglub
      @glebglub 21 день тому

      an STD

    • @TarisLuna
      @TarisLuna 18 днів тому +1

      Either a mattress or a rug?

  • @oil_puddles
    @oil_puddles 29 днів тому

    “I’m going through the process and I’m going through the same process as the other process and I don’t want anyone else in the world” true words

  • @icecremmester
    @icecremmester 2 місяці тому +126

    “I’m going back in a little while I got no friends I just want you”

    • @SotraEngine4
      @SotraEngine4 2 місяці тому +5

      Awwww

    • @TacticalAnt420
      @TacticalAnt420 Місяць тому

      Definitely not the first thing you say to your crush but mood, it does feel like that sometimes

  • @squid_the_squid
    @squid_the_squid 2 місяці тому +48

    "Hey pretty lady, sorry for the short notice, but we are going to need to get some extra money".
    Man that's too real.

  • @Emily-jh8om
    @Emily-jh8om 2 місяці тому +93

    7:55 enemies to lovers trope

    • @cooldude-qz1gf
      @cooldude-qz1gf 2 місяці тому +8

      Homestuck reference
      Kissmissis pairings 😱😱😱

    • @caitlinabbott7895
      @caitlinabbott7895 2 місяці тому +4

      Tomtord

    • @iamzurvan
      @iamzurvan 2 місяці тому +2

      NaruSas

    • @oddcrafter1270
      @oddcrafter1270 2 місяці тому +3

      SMG34

    • @carolekelly2688
      @carolekelly2688 28 днів тому +2

      @@oddcrafter1270 This ship is what I will always think of when I hear the phrase “enemies to lovers”.

  • @TehRealMattyA
    @TehRealMattyA 12 днів тому +1

    "I think I have a whole bunch of people who are going to be able to get a new 🆕 and then I can get it to you"

  • @certified_geek7536
    @certified_geek7536 2 місяці тому +20

    After over two years of tuning in every Matt Rose monday, I can now say it is embedded in my subconscious. I had a dream Matt uploaded a 52 minute video and I cried from joy.

  • @ItziGamess
    @ItziGamess 2 місяці тому +35

    "How much we love you and your friends to the world is not the same thing as a whole lot of money. "
    Beautiful

  • @TheShowblox
    @TheShowblox 2 місяці тому +41

    Matt Rose is the kind of guy to wear a swimsuit to a funeral because the dead person drowned

    • @isitsweet9567
      @isitsweet9567 2 місяці тому +2

      No, he's not. (I get the reference though)

    • @TheShowblox
      @TheShowblox Місяць тому +2

      Wait there’s a reference? I didn’t know I just said it to be funny, what’s the refrence
      I’m dumb sometimes

    • @isitsweet9567
      @isitsweet9567 Місяць тому +7

      @@TheShowblox You're not dumb. Matt Rose has a video called something like "Reddit Confesses the Darkest Things They've Done on The Sims", for which the thumbnail is "I killed a sim by drowning, then I made everyone show up to the funeral in swimwear". I thought you were referring to that lol

    • @stallover7463
      @stallover7463 Місяць тому

      I would do that too.

  • @maf6768
    @maf6768 4 дні тому +1

    "I'm gonna go backwards and then just to dissappear completely out of the house 🏠 🙃"

  • @epos.nephilo
    @epos.nephilo 2 місяці тому +135

    “I’m just saying that you should have the same amount of energy as the rest of the world so you should have some of this energy”
    Wow, that could work.

    • @Jupiter-T
      @Jupiter-T 2 місяці тому

      I think maybe it would work better if you both were high as hell

    • @sheepysnowtato824
      @sheepysnowtato824 2 місяці тому +9

      Could it? 😭

    • @Jupiter-T
      @Jupiter-T 2 місяці тому +1

      Weird why can't I see my previous reply to this comment?

    • @sheepysnowtato824
      @sheepysnowtato824 2 місяці тому +1

      @@Jupiter-T
      I don't know :T
      I can't either, and I didn't see it when I first replied.

    • @epos.nephilo
      @epos.nephilo 2 місяці тому +1

      @@Jupiter-T Oh my god I thought you were the guy that posted Wall-E Full Movie.

  • @Arlojay-bw3vp
    @Arlojay-bw3vp 2 місяці тому +39

    I am a big believer in this idea of being able to get the most out of a relationship and be happy with myself. Ok that’s actually true

    • @SotraEngine4
      @SotraEngine4 2 місяці тому +5

      I feel that is more a ... sentence you would say during a date

  • @Mr.CheeseCow
    @Mr.CheeseCow 2 місяці тому +23

    “The only thing you need is the money”
    My keyboard is a gold digger.

  • @Dr5Em
    @Dr5Em 5 днів тому

    “You are the best person ever and you deserve all of the happiness in this world and I hope that I can be the one to give it to you” DANGGG

  • @HorrorFanaticBronX
    @HorrorFanaticBronX 2 місяці тому +25

    “Girl, you are the best person I have ever met.”
    Okay.

  • @EddieWelch-hk8vs
    @EddieWelch-hk8vs 2 місяці тому +40

    "This was very large hypothetical cylinder hypothetically stuck hypothetically in a hypothetical friend"
    Okay wtf💀

  • @VGMHabitat
    @VGMHabitat 2 місяці тому +16

    “The only thing that matters is your own opinion and not your personal life”
    Smoooth! 👌

  • @KBcantComprehend
    @KBcantComprehend Місяць тому +4

    I’m going to be in the shower and I don’t want you to be alone
    Damn that’s smooth

  • @Theonly_z_Official
    @Theonly_z_Official 2 місяці тому +34

    We need more "people mixing words together" they're my favorite

  • @daanhuisman1040
    @daanhuisman1040 Місяць тому +7

    "I love you too much in the strangest ways"
    That's... I don't know how to feel about that honestly

  • @Cassette_Girl
    @Cassette_Girl 2 місяці тому +18

    "I don't think you need comforting and I don't want to be your girlfriend."
    Sorry y'all. Looks like we're breaking up.

    • @caram5222
      @caram5222 2 місяці тому +5

      Thia honestly spunds like it could be a lyric from a 2000s/90s emo song
      Like imagine if radiohead or weeser said that

  • @ryanking1634
    @ryanking1634 Місяць тому +1

    “I don’t think I can do anything without you” is crazy

  • @AnnoyedSonic
    @AnnoyedSonic 2 місяці тому +16

    “The only thing that I would say to you is I don’t want anyone else.”
    Damn actually got something reasonable

  • @No0neSpec1al
    @No0neSpec1al 2 місяці тому +70

    "Just remove the old 😪 from your old friend and get a dragon"
    - Predictive Text
    That's fair, we SHOULD all remove the old 😪 from our old friend and get a dragon.

    • @skyechats6276
      @skyechats6276 Місяць тому +1

      Lmao bad dragon 😂😂

    • @ScholarOfTheFirstCyn
      @ScholarOfTheFirstCyn Місяць тому +1

      You shouldn't get Bayle though.

    • @louannebvb
      @louannebvb Місяць тому +1

      I love dragons

    • @witherful
      @witherful Місяць тому +1

      @@skyechats6276 UUHHH... BAD DRAGON??? WhAT DO YOU MEAN BY TAT...???? o_0

    • @skyechats6276
      @skyechats6276 Місяць тому +1

      @@witherful it was so funny to my brain

  • @meznight
    @meznight 2 місяці тому +51

    “I’m going back in a little while I got a couple of errands done I will call you when I am done and I love you”

    • @AYWYC
      @AYWYC 2 місяці тому +33

      this sounds like the sort of text someone sends their partner before they tragically die in an "accident" that changes the trajectory of their lover's life forever and turns them into an insanely hot assassin with a thirst for blood on an unresting mission to find and kill the evil overlord that slaughtered their beloved

    • @SotraEngine4
      @SotraEngine4 2 місяці тому +13

      That was... specific

    • @youssefbencheikh8637
      @youssefbencheikh8637 2 місяці тому +9

      ​@@AYWYCJohn Wick sounding ahh comment

    • @Its-pronounced-ay-zaer-e
      @Its-pronounced-ay-zaer-e 2 місяці тому +5

      @@AYWYCthat was very oddly specific
      do you have anything to tell us AYWYC?

    • @AYWYC
      @AYWYC 2 місяці тому +2

      @@Its-pronounced-ay-zaer-e 78 henchmen so far

  • @prash_sh
    @prash_sh 7 днів тому +1

    "We are one in the universe of the mop drawer escalator"

  • @sentienttapioca5409
    @sentienttapioca5409 2 місяці тому +45

    6:50 would've worked on Tchaikovsky tbh

  • @abigailxclouds
    @abigailxclouds 2 місяці тому +23

    “i like the other people that i have been talking to but you are ok.”

  • @squishyknees008_he-they
    @squishyknees008_he-they 2 місяці тому +14

    “I don’t think you understand how much I hate this country”
    Great opener honestly

  • @randomsomthing1237
    @randomsomthing1237 Місяць тому +1

    “I just want you in my life”
    I AM ACTUALLY HIM

  • @Logan_ONTOP
    @Logan_ONTOP 2 місяці тому +30

    “The only reason I can love you is if you are in love with someone else or something else.” That’s a bit…. I don’t even know

    • @Xezlec
      @Xezlec 2 місяці тому

      Cuck, perhaps?

  • @Sleepless_dave
    @Sleepless_dave 2 місяці тому +20

    “Oh yeah I’m going to call you old sport”
    WHY IS THIS CANON

    • @dinoheartnerd2265
      @dinoheartnerd2265 2 місяці тому

      As a Nick x Gatsby shipper... I love this 😭

    • @CelestialBunnyPaws
      @CelestialBunnyPaws Місяць тому

      Username and picture check out. 🤭

    • @witherful
      @witherful Місяць тому

      wanna day shift at MY freddy's?????

  • @judy3827
    @judy3827 Місяць тому +26

    "we will have the same way of dealing with our issues ❤"
    pretty good actually

  • @AGBDYM
    @AGBDYM 8 днів тому

    This is my contribution:
    D I am a big supporter of your art style but the art is so much better in the long term

  • @smiwey
    @smiwey 2 місяці тому +17

    "Dating me is a good way to get murdered."
    Goddamit.

    • @admiralAlfonso9001
      @admiralAlfonso9001 2 місяці тому +11

      “Dating me is a crime against humanity but it’s okay to be gay”
      Hmmmmm

    • @JustSomeoneHi
      @JustSomeoneHi 2 місяці тому +2

      well you've just scared off any potential dates, good job

  • @BrandonConey-el6qw
    @BrandonConey-el6qw 2 місяці тому +44

    7:22 when you try to talk to your crush but you get too nervous to speak

  • @EmperorChicken
    @EmperorChicken 2 місяці тому +31

    I'm the guy who said I was going to shake my Dave out, so here's an update:
    *he is out*
    *hide while you can*
    *the world is not prepared for dave's wrath*

  • @Froggy4life-Yes
    @Froggy4life-Yes Місяць тому +1

    “The only way we could have a good relationship is if you had the right relationship with my fish’ ???