To be fair: Everyone on the prowl for a date and using pick-up lines is technically considered a predator. Not quite what you meant, of course, but it is what you said.
"I'm going to be there in about five minutes to pick you up." Imagine getting that text from either a complete stranger or someone on a dating app you just matched with.
"I think you are amazing and hearing about how much more expensive it got after the dissolution and Werewolves will be acting like villagers the city and many people are expecting an offensive before year end." Not smooth 😢
my predictive text is quite rude at times lmao my theory is that it’s a female going through the menopause or it’s a teen boy going through mood swings “you are a baby and you don’t want me around to get you out and i don’t wanna get in a relationship and i want you to get a job and a girlfriend and a boyfriend and a break from the fact that you are a child”
‘I don’t have a problem with the fact that you are not in the right place at the moment and I am not going to make you do anything for me’ That’s actually kinda sweet 💀
I present...two wuv but sung by predictive text by: Android horrorwizz I have no clue about Its over the same thing Two years later I was I am not sure if you are But im was a few minutes How my eyes are so ill and It took a lot more to But right now I have a lot *epic guitar riff*
I just had "Keep me updated on the new job and how it goes when dead." Ominous... I also had "Please send me your address and I will be there" What a romantic, non threatening ice breaker. XD
I am unable to ascertain the data on the Saṅkrānti server but I don't have to do it myself and I need a new entry giving the experience to the body of my life and I have a hunger for you and I have a hunger for your heart and soul to transform into a holy weapon and to be a goblinoid for any remaining crewmen and the cult of the Broken. also I'm going to do that to you 🤠 the same time as the moon and the alleged cult leader and the mysterious things you need to get like that and then you can do it the right way to extend it.
After over two years of tuning in every Matt Rose monday, I can now say it is embedded in my subconscious. I had a dream Matt uploaded a 52 minute video and I cried from joy.
@@TheShowblox You're not dumb. Matt Rose has a video called something like "Reddit Confesses the Darkest Things They've Done on The Sims", for which the thumbnail is "I killed a sim by drowning, then I made everyone show up to the funeral in swimwear". I thought you were referring to that lol
"Just remove the old 😪 from your old friend and get a dragon" - Predictive Text That's fair, we SHOULD all remove the old 😪 from our old friend and get a dragon.
this sounds like the sort of text someone sends their partner before they tragically die in an "accident" that changes the trajectory of their lover's life forever and turns them into an insanely hot assassin with a thirst for blood on an unresting mission to find and kill the evil overlord that slaughtered their beloved
I'm the guy who said I was going to shake my Dave out, so here's an update: *he is out* *hide while you can* *the world is not prepared for dave's wrath*
“I’m a world leader in the fuck business” is a crazy quote
"Im the world's leader in the union business", fancier ciqtaar.
sounds like a failed disco elysium skill check
@@Kyuschiwhat gibberish have you just uttered
@@Ipomoea_Alba it's a game mate
CRAZY
Imagine being a owner of a bar and someone is saying the weirdest shit you’ve heard to a camera
While holding a pile of oats in his hand to said camera.
@@DorothyVivian Yeah that one was kinda my fault 😭 uhhhh oops
@@toost5952 HES HERE
THE Toost5952 is here!
So a normal bar owner?
"the only way i could ever be a better human is to have my own body"
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
I was going to make a joke about demonic possession but no matter how I word it *it always sounds dirty* 💀
WHAAAAA
i sold it for 20$.
@@knockout8157 Then do it, it should be a pickup line, I wanna hear what ideas you got.
@@ЖаркоШкребић it wasn’t even a pickup line it was just meant to be a joke 😅
Something along the lines of “bro is going to possess his crush”
T-T
"You should have a better day because I am with you."
Well I guess it's direct haha
Imagine a dating app where you're only able to use predictive text
It would 100% be called Fumble
This would VERY QUICKLY go downhill, but in a fun way.
The only way I could do that was if you wanted me too
Predictive text madness
it would be hell.
And I mean that in a figurative way.
@@felixhatton7334FURBY
"Please enter my bed 🛌 🙏 and then kill the rest"
Predictive text is surprisingly good on that one. I should've stopped at bed though.
Your predictive text is speaking like it's XANA or a Terminator.
the rest of what? the beds?
😂😂😂
Scott Pilgrim in a nutshell.
"The twist is that I can't read"
Predictive text, mischievous as always
Oh no
I’m so glad you found the right person for you and I love you very much
Oh hey< this works kinda
I can't help it but "Are you coming home with me today or tomorrow" got my vote for most simple yet full of implications
Getting offered a sponsor by the CMO of a company only to straight-up ask them "are u m or f" is the most Matt Rose thing ever
I popped a blood vessel holding in my laughter there
Yeah….i mean, um…since when did it matter? 😏
i said that in a matt rose voice
@@lohphat What mattered? What exactly out of this entire sentence?
I am mf lmao
"you don't need a license to be in a relationship with me" is absolutely the pick up line of a predator
To be fair: Everyone on the prowl for a date and using pick-up lines is technically considered a predator.
Not quite what you meant, of course, but it is what you said.
@@Unethical.Dodgson I think a predator is usually used for people who want to do bad things to said date, right?
@@Roozyjit’s usually people who are older “preying” on minors or younger people
@@DinoandGalaxy That's a child predator; the vaguer definition is what Roozyj described.
i was half expecting the person matt was texting to say "im 12"
I’m so obsessed with “The government will ignore my crimes if we hold hands” I’m already imagining a whole novel/film
Honestly I love that one
Moopud
can we cast Adam Sandler for the guy?
Their crimes have nothing to do with sexual advances, he pissed on a police station wall and now they are out for blood.
🥰
"If you have any questions please contact me 💋 " direct and straightforward, nice 👍👍
“The government has been very clear that the situation is not going to improve”
That’s rizz right there
5:00
"my throat is not an egg"
"ok...
...can I still use it?"
Underrated moment lmao
"I'm going to be there in about five minutes to pick you up."
Imagine getting that text from either a complete stranger or someone on a dating app you just matched with.
literal pick up line
We got crazy lion stories so now we need weirdest emergency frog situations🐸 ‼️
“The only way I could do that is if you want me to do it.”
Consent is everything!
“I’m just saying if you want to come over I would love that.”
Nailed it.
Smooth
"I think you are amazing and hearing about how much more expensive it got after the dissolution and Werewolves will be acting like villagers the city and many people are expecting an offensive before year end." Not smooth 😢
@@Vientianelover im sure youd be able to rizz up many medieval partners
@@Vientianelover
Imma send this to a friend
mf has so much experience that even his predictive text is smooth
“My dad was in a hospital when he died I love hotdogs ” such a great pick up line
sounds like me when im having an episode
I love hotdogs so this would probably work on me.
@@KRYoung_dev honestly fair enough
The sheer whiplash from "My dad died :(" to "I love hotdogs :3" caught me SO off guard 💀
@@SavouryGalette like if someone told you that they were gonna be nuked in 5 seconds and then said “I have 40 cats all called fries!:3”
“The only thing that matters to me is that you have a great relationship with me”
Very smooth
“I’m just saying that you have a good heart.” My predictive text is weirdly wholesome today!
I’m just saying that I don’t know what to do with my life right now. Lol autocomplete is sad today
my predictive text is quite rude at times lmao
my theory is that it’s a female going through the menopause or it’s a teen boy going through mood swings
“you are a baby and you don’t want me around to get you out and i don’t wanna get in a relationship and i want you to get a job and a girlfriend and a boyfriend and a break from the fact that you are a child”
mine said "You know I wasn't going to be there for you"... yikes
"Even if you want to be the first one to be a part of my life, I love you all the time" Could be worse🤷♀️
"Im just saying that you are going to war against the lord of Pop"
Against who!?
‘I don’t have a problem with the fact that you are not in the right place at the moment and I am not going to make you do anything for me’
That’s actually kinda sweet 💀
Yeah that's like a pretty good response to someone not feeling it during a hookup, or like in a bad mental space
‘Good afternoon Matt’ we all say in unison
Good afternoon Matt
Good afternoon Matt
It’s 8:11 pm in my time zone
Aka: Good evening Matt
good morning matt
Good evening Matt
“Know your worth and you will always have it. You will be loved by all the people around you.”
thats actually very sweet!!!! (^///^)
“I am so glad you are feeling a lot of pain” certainly would go over well
Only if you're a Dr. Feelgood with a pocket full of something to help. Not exactly a pickup line, though - unless you're picking up buyers.
Apparently your predictive text has been fed dialogue from Fifty Shades of Grey.
I mean, it would do well with a masochist maybe?
Think it could work in certain specific contexts
"I want to feel your body on mine" Forward, but straight to the point.
Bro knows exactly what he wants
“You are the best mom in this whole entire universe” I don’t think that’s how it works
Perfect if you want a milf.
It is if your name's Freud.
depends on the relationship, this is essentially what my girlfriend says to ke
"Mommy, I mean mommy, I mean-"
"I'm gonna *_make_* you the best mom in this whole entire universe"
“Have you ever seen someone with a big nose”
… I wonder why I’m single.
“the only way i could ever be a better human is by being able to see the light of my life and not being afraid to look at it”
kinda poetic ngl
"I am thankful for you and I hope you will be mine"
Pretty straightforward.
Awww
But maybe a little possessive as an opener 6/10
I present...two wuv but sung by predictive text by: Android horrorwizz
I have no clue about
Its over the same thing
Two years later I was
I am not sure if you are
But im was a few minutes
How my eyes are so ill and
It took a lot more to
But right now I have a lot
*epic guitar riff*
@@lukakaps9548Not necessarily, I think it depends on how it's said or if it's Valentine's Day
Cute, if I liked you back I would blush so hard
"I'm not a huge believer in the concept of being able to make money from your job but I think it's a very interesting idea"
^every large coorperation
Phone guy?????1???1
- Babylonian god-kings considering enslaving slightly fewer of their subjects (they probably won't)
Corporation*
6:37 holy shit he said Lemon Demon
Had the same reaction lol
Matt Rose will not stop at anything to give us good content. He literally went into a random bar and spilled cereal grains all over the floor for us.
The second barkeep was so angry you could hear it in her voice lmfaoooo
@@iamzurvan Lol!
In front of the GOAT Horatio Nelson too. That sheer level of disrespect by Brit standards.
@@iamzurvan Kind of rude of her, ngl, seeing how he clearly was cleaning it all up and never meant to cause problems.
@@LiminallyYours Absolutely agree lmfao
My best one that autocomplete gave me is “A new version for my new computer that is not a computer” 😂😂😂
Lol, what does this even mean? So cryptic, lol!!!!!
I just had "Keep me updated on the new job and how it goes when dead."
Ominous...
I also had "Please send me your address and I will be there"
What a romantic, non threatening ice breaker. XD
Omg,, organoid intelligence dropped??? 😳
@@OmnipotentNoodle new single: cognition in a dish lol!
I got “The only way I could do that was if you wanted me too”
What dkes that mean???
“I have been thinking about you and I miss your beautiful smile” that’s actually really nice
I am unable to ascertain the data on the Saṅkrānti server but I don't have to do it myself and I need a new entry giving the experience to the body of my life and I have a hunger for you and I have a hunger for your heart and soul to transform into a holy weapon and to be a goblinoid for any remaining crewmen and the cult of the Broken.
also
I'm going to do that to you 🤠 the same time as the moon and the alleged cult leader and the mysterious things you need to get like that and then you can do it the right way to extend it.
“The fact that we are not talking to each other is not the only factor that makes us feel that way and we have been working on a relationship”
“I’m not a fan of the way you look at me but you look like a very attractive person and I’m really happy for you”
that one sounds like it's politely fending someone off
"If I thought of something like this would you like me?"
ffs, even my phone is desperate for affection
"Well, you are welcome home to me in a few days."
Phone, tf does that mean?
"I am now at work and I will be sobbing" mood tbh I don't know about it as a pick up line tho lmao
This is me every Monday-Friday for the most part. My job is currently overwhelming me . . .
@@llamasugar5478 I hope it gets better for you! You got this
@@llamasugar5478I’m a random person in a UA-cam comment section but I wanna wish you a good day, stay strong I hope it’ll get better
@@lux7525 Thank you; I know it will!
“I’m going to be in a little bit I have a meeting with the kids”
Dawg wdym the kids 💀
“I don’t think I could handle this much longer without you.” It made a DECENT one
“Okay buddy I don’t want you” reverse psychology rizz
8:49 the way you said ''bro fumbled'' was so unexpected and funny because you said an online term like it was regular speech
“The most important thing is that you don’t have a lot of people who want you “ dang
Imma try. "You wanna have some sort of Captain crunch with me?"
Now *that* is a euphemism.
"Netflix and chill?" Pffft.
"Some sort of Captain crunch with me" Magnificent!
Me too
"The other day I was thinking about you having a nice time"
Actually not bad
"You should probably go ahead and put your stuff in my house"
guess we're living together already, dang time flies
hey girl you can crunch my captain any day@jamesmatthews291
Who'd be crazy enough to turn their nose up at Captain Crunch?
Everyone: Technology is gonna take over the world!
Technology:
Trust me it gets way worse
yes
@@HellnawNaw-zq2jxI bet!
well.. does technology know how to make chicken noodle soup.
@@CuevamusLol, what!?
“I don’t know what to do with myself anymore I just want to be able to be with you”
Desperate
Kinda honest, though
Giving me flashbacks to when I got dumped
desperate but it is kinda cute
“I am so happy to see you and your beautiful wife”
what
“I don’t have any reasons to be honest” Very trustworthy 10/10
Could also be taken as something like "I don't have any reason to love you, I just do" but it does really sound like it's a pathological liar lmao
"I've got to tidy my oats because they've got a wedding" is my new favourite matt quote lol
I wonder if that wedding did the thing where they throw rice.
"Jesus you have a big boy on the sofa" is not what I expected from my predictive text
Ntr moment
@Kickiusz bruh. First thing in my brain was they were talking about a dog....
“The most important thing is that you don’t have any other choice” 😬😬😬
“I have no problem with the way you treat me but you don’t deserve to have that kind of attitude towards my ex” is always a go-to
"The police are in the car park, I think it might be easier to get it done now."
Sorry what!
“I have a question for you do you want to go on a date with me and your mom”
Huh… and it was going so well.
Stop it at “and” and it’s perfectly fine!
"I did not have a chance to talk to you about this and I think I should just go back to sleep "
honestly I agree with predictive text I should sleep
This calls for an EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION!!!!
Or, an EMERGENCY FOG SITUATION!!!!
@@TheOne_6 the frog is coming the frog is coming the frog is coming the frog is coming
YOURS IS BETTER, HONESTLY!!!!
Consider:
EMERGENCY "EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION" SITUATION
YESS I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG@@Ashleyboomer.
"Obviously the bra will not be used for a while".. how does it know? HOW DOES IT KNOW I ALMOST NEVER WEAR IT. 😱
I'm not sure.
Because why would anyone wanna wear it
my phone came up with:
"I love the way you look tired because of Ohm's law stating that you will"
I swear I am not a science dweeb.
this is an extremely overcomplicated way to call someone a conservative
“I don’t know how to explain this but I love this so much and I’m so glad that you’re enjoying this new journey with me”
“Hey dude I just wanted you to know that I am not pushing my sister down the stairs today”
Is that a reference to a videogame?
@@samoilis2276UHHHH GAME WITH ITALIAN HERB? REFERENCE ⁉️
@@toost5952 shush, no spoilers
@@samoilis2276 you right
something something mari
"i don't think i could handle a better person than you right now and i love you"
certainly not a pickup line, but i… *suppose* that works…
It definitely sounds too advanced and slightly desperate to pull out on a first date.
SHODAW THE HEDGEHOX!!!
That's not a pickup line, that's a marriage vow.
@@R.K_Chalkboard that sounds a lot more accurate, actually.
"I was going to say I was going to get a new one for the weekend and then we can do it on the floor"
WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO GET?!
an STD
Either a mattress or a rug?
“I’m going through the process and I’m going through the same process as the other process and I don’t want anyone else in the world” true words
processed.
“I’m going back in a little while I got no friends I just want you”
Awwww
Definitely not the first thing you say to your crush but mood, it does feel like that sometimes
"Hey pretty lady, sorry for the short notice, but we are going to need to get some extra money".
Man that's too real.
7:55 enemies to lovers trope
Homestuck reference
Kissmissis pairings 😱😱😱
Tomtord
NaruSas
SMG34
@@oddcrafter1270 This ship is what I will always think of when I hear the phrase “enemies to lovers”.
"I think I have a whole bunch of people who are going to be able to get a new 🆕 and then I can get it to you"
After over two years of tuning in every Matt Rose monday, I can now say it is embedded in my subconscious. I had a dream Matt uploaded a 52 minute video and I cried from joy.
"How much we love you and your friends to the world is not the same thing as a whole lot of money. "
Beautiful
Matt Rose is the kind of guy to wear a swimsuit to a funeral because the dead person drowned
No, he's not. (I get the reference though)
Wait there’s a reference? I didn’t know I just said it to be funny, what’s the refrence
I’m dumb sometimes
@@TheShowblox You're not dumb. Matt Rose has a video called something like "Reddit Confesses the Darkest Things They've Done on The Sims", for which the thumbnail is "I killed a sim by drowning, then I made everyone show up to the funeral in swimwear". I thought you were referring to that lol
I would do that too.
"I'm gonna go backwards and then just to dissappear completely out of the house 🏠 🙃"
“I’m just saying that you should have the same amount of energy as the rest of the world so you should have some of this energy”
Wow, that could work.
I think maybe it would work better if you both were high as hell
Could it? 😭
Weird why can't I see my previous reply to this comment?
@@Jupiter-T
I don't know :T
I can't either, and I didn't see it when I first replied.
@@Jupiter-T Oh my god I thought you were the guy that posted Wall-E Full Movie.
I am a big believer in this idea of being able to get the most out of a relationship and be happy with myself. Ok that’s actually true
I feel that is more a ... sentence you would say during a date
“The only thing you need is the money”
My keyboard is a gold digger.
“You are the best person ever and you deserve all of the happiness in this world and I hope that I can be the one to give it to you” DANGGG
“Girl, you are the best person I have ever met.”
Okay.
"This was very large hypothetical cylinder hypothetically stuck hypothetically in a hypothetical friend"
Okay wtf💀
"it's a cylinder"
“Stuck in a friend”
trying to read this gave me a stroke
hypothetically you could get that
how big is the cylinder? is it small? above average?
“The only thing that matters is your own opinion and not your personal life”
Smoooth! 👌
I’m going to be in the shower and I don’t want you to be alone
Damn that’s smooth
We need more "people mixing words together" they're my favorite
"I love you too much in the strangest ways"
That's... I don't know how to feel about that honestly
"I don't think you need comforting and I don't want to be your girlfriend."
Sorry y'all. Looks like we're breaking up.
Thia honestly spunds like it could be a lyric from a 2000s/90s emo song
Like imagine if radiohead or weeser said that
“I don’t think I can do anything without you” is crazy
“The only thing that I would say to you is I don’t want anyone else.”
Damn actually got something reasonable
"Just remove the old 😪 from your old friend and get a dragon"
- Predictive Text
That's fair, we SHOULD all remove the old 😪 from our old friend and get a dragon.
Lmao bad dragon 😂😂
You shouldn't get Bayle though.
I love dragons
@@skyechats6276 UUHHH... BAD DRAGON??? WhAT DO YOU MEAN BY TAT...???? o_0
@@witherful it was so funny to my brain
“I’m going back in a little while I got a couple of errands done I will call you when I am done and I love you”
this sounds like the sort of text someone sends their partner before they tragically die in an "accident" that changes the trajectory of their lover's life forever and turns them into an insanely hot assassin with a thirst for blood on an unresting mission to find and kill the evil overlord that slaughtered their beloved
That was... specific
@@AYWYCJohn Wick sounding ahh comment
@@AYWYCthat was very oddly specific
do you have anything to tell us AYWYC?
@@Its-pronounced-ay-zaer-e 78 henchmen so far
"We are one in the universe of the mop drawer escalator"
So wise.
6:50 would've worked on Tchaikovsky tbh
“i like the other people that i have been talking to but you are ok.”
“I don’t think you understand how much I hate this country”
Great opener honestly
that would pull me tbh and i'm not even into romance
“I just want you in my life”
I AM ACTUALLY HIM
“The only reason I can love you is if you are in love with someone else or something else.” That’s a bit…. I don’t even know
Cuck, perhaps?
“Oh yeah I’m going to call you old sport”
WHY IS THIS CANON
As a Nick x Gatsby shipper... I love this 😭
Username and picture check out. 🤭
wanna day shift at MY freddy's?????
"we will have the same way of dealing with our issues ❤"
pretty good actually
This is my contribution:
D I am a big supporter of your art style but the art is so much better in the long term
"Dating me is a good way to get murdered."
Goddamit.
“Dating me is a crime against humanity but it’s okay to be gay”
Hmmmmm
well you've just scared off any potential dates, good job
7:22 when you try to talk to your crush but you get too nervous to speak
I'm the guy who said I was going to shake my Dave out, so here's an update:
*he is out*
*hide while you can*
*the world is not prepared for dave's wrath*
Hehhehehheheheh
NOT DAVE
@@Sleepless_dave IT'S HIM
I've solved it guys. Dave is the fog man.
“The only way we could have a good relationship is if you had the right relationship with my fish’ ???