1:00:00 came up with this theory myself….. when you walk into a room, are you there for yourself and how people perceive you, or are you there to make a pleasant experience for the people around you. Amazing how much this changed my life. Although it is hard to differentiate this between people pleasing. I think people pleasing still is fundamentally based on how the self is perceived. It’s more like “ do things for others while realizing that what they think of you is none of your business”
Or, third option, you are there for the experience of the event, you are there to enjoy connecting with others, and you aren't wasting time focusing on what others think of you or judging others or trying to please anyone.
As administrator or in admin in a hospital..dealing with medical professionals..there is, by the nature of the beast, limited video… there is, however, no paucity of need… what can be done??
The idea that being comfortable as being the best way to be authentic and trustworthy is beautiful in itself. Whether you are speaking or on stage or just being filmed or photographed, it makes all the difference in the way we communicate well.
First, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Second, I Believe people are like this because it's THE MOST painful feeling that we feel both psychologically, emotionally, and even physically experiences we can face in our lifetime. In truth, avoidance is self-preservation.
I love this guys view on people and humanity. Everyone is living their life through the lens of their collective experience, every one is victim to our own experience and our own perception. People need to be able to see others as humans figuring out this thing called life just as YOU are, no matter their circumstance.
You respect everyone until they give you a reason not to respect them. People with power always say "respect" is earned, but it's always interesting that they only respect people like themselves.
Jordan Peterson says around half the population is up to no good, whether they are aware of it or not. 1 in 6 are narcissistic, 1-2% psychopaths, you know I haven’t seen the exact numbers but, it seems like it from what I experience
@@shayscott7498I disagree. I start people at neutral. I let the consistency between their words and actions be the foundation of my level of my respect.💝
Oh my gosh! I was a Corrections Officer in a jail and I so agree! I once (with a reasonable co-worker) walked into the most dangerous gang pod and talked them out of rioting. The dangerous gang members didn’t scare me because you could reason with them, but ONE person with violent schizophrenia is scary as hell!
@@cc.99-b5v hehe. Well, I'm prior military, and I'm very observant. This particular gang runs a lot like a military structure. I could tell, essentially the ranks of each of them. So I would go to the highest "ranking" person I could find and I talked to them. They then talked the lower ranking guys (who were the most violent, because they were trying to gain respect) out of rioting.
A lot of coaches and consultants make the mistake that senior management and CEOs aren't aware of their behavior. Often these power structures attract certain personality types: Narcissists, control fanatics, megalomaniacs.... When questioned about their behavior, they respond by gaslighting.
@@pearpo All of these are true. However what the original commentator said, is indeed the case that is not discussed as often. It used to be perceived as a stereotype for employees to complain about "difficult bosses/managers" etc. And it used to be a stereotypical response to that stereotype to think that "it is the position that molds the character" or even that "this position requires people to become such characters". In reality, it is the other way around and this has been both known by popular wisdom but also today proven by science as well : power attracts narcissists and sociopaths much more than it attracts people in the middle of the altruism-sociopathy spectrum. Speaking of male sociopaths alone, who are more easily defined than narcissists (because anyone can be labelled as such, the definition is more loose), these are about 5% of the male population but they are about 30% of the upper management, high-end positions in whichever company, corporation and organisation. This means that sociopaths out of a combination of inner drive but also tons of machinations and back-stabbing they have 6 times more chances of climbing the corporate/organisational ladder. Hence it is not any "erroneous perception" of employees that their bosses are difficult, it is rather that they so often happen indeed to be difficult. The chances of falling on a sociopath boss/manager can be as low as 1 in 5 and as high as 1 in 3, probably more closer to the latter. When dealing with sociopaths, there is not much to do, it is not that these people can change who they are, they will keep on acting as they consider fitting. With sociopaths you deal them only with violence (of any sort, I do not mean just physical), but this is kinda difficult for employees, and the ones who stand-up are the first in line for firing.
In standup, I used to put my little recorder in the back of the room. Onstage, you're hearing the reaction up front. Sometimes, I thought a joke bombed, but people in back were laughing up a storm. For video, including the audience in the shot gives you a much better sense than close-ups of the speaker. So yeah, useful.
I used to maintain eye contact deeply. Until I was rejected my some of my best friends and lost my friend group. It demoralized traumatized me. And now I am scared to be vulnerable, judged and removed ..by everyone.
The eye contact gift is just that….a gift Your “friends” and group were bad people to their core and everything is real Ed through someone’s eyes and actions Self and situational awareness is key Eye contact, intuition, discernment, energy/vibes never lie Please don’t allow those people to rob you of your gifts and your respect or looking someone in the eyes ⚔️🛡️☦️
@@NF40375 Right on! Yeah. I its hard for good hearted people to try their best with others that seem to disapprove the kindness given. Its gives you the sense of failure to fix or fitting in. I agree with you totally.. Look in their eyes and their emotions afterwards. Its going to show you whats really happening with them towards you. If they're not appreciating your attempt, then get away & stay away from them totally. Meaning: They're not welcoming you as you deserve to be treated. Dont allow them to run over you. Find New people that appreciate your attempts at happiness, and make sure they are also attempting to bring the happiness out of you... Helping you to better your life. Now those are the people thats worth your precious time in this lifetime. Its worth it. Ps. Do not limit this to no one, and I mean no one... they "ALL" must treat you this way in order to show they "LOVE YOU" like im showing you now for example! It Called: "Consideration" 💪🏾🤎
Liz: Perhaps some context might help? - 90% of our species are dysfunctional as a result of TOXIC parenting! While not much of Western psychology impresses me, I can strongly recommend THE child psychologist ALICE MILLER (R.I.P. ) Look up her profile on Wikipedia for a list of her books. In chronological order of their development, I next recommend GABOR MATE (e, acute). While he is available on You Tube. I STRONGLY recommend you work through AM first as she ws the first to discover the original source of our species problems i.e. TOXIC parenting & learning this stuff in chronological order will make it easier for you. - Certainly changed my life round ! :) - H.T.H.?
You simply grew out of those friends. You'll make new ones who appreciate the confidence exuded with strong eye contact. Just look away sometimes to avoid looking threatening.
The best TRUTH you could ever relate was in your summation of success. It's a PERSONAL journey!! My point all the way through, and I am NOT in Competition and NEVER have been!!
I love the idea of sitting down and talking about what an ideal relationship looks like to each other. Watching the audience is so underrated, I had some coworkers get angry with me because I gave honest feedback on a presentation and my main point was that they didn’t take into consideration the audience when they created the presentation. I had a similar background (military/aviation) to most of the audience and I found the presentation childish and unserious. Needless to say the business didn’t continue in that setting. The tips on reading are great, I also remember experiences, but couldn’t tell you what someone told me about a situation, or what a movie or book is about.
There have been studies in narcissists and they actually signal one another through body language and non verbal cues. I discovered this while dating a covert narcissists. I’m very good at picking up patterns and I noticed a lot of energy and signaling between him and other narcissistic women. Believe it or not I prayed to god for discernment and the next time it happened I picked up on a very negative energy or vibration, I could feel this or sense this when he was lying as well. It made him very uncomfortable because oddly enough he thought I was able to read his mind. this is how they scout out who is going to be willing to cheat. The other woman was also a covert narcissist. Narcissists view cheating as a game of superiority, if they can cause you partner to cheat to them it means they are superior to you so they active try to get people to commit adultery.
Yes to all of this Broken people attract broken people And most times broken people target healed people as a cover or to copy their behaviors to o conceal their dark behavior Narcissists are selfish and self serving; they are spiritually weak and Godless. Narcissists are anti love which is anti God which makes them the enemy Because when one is spiritually weak/Godless and self serving they are susceptible to demonic oppression/influence and possession Protect yourself, children, animals, disabled and elderly at all costs ⚔️🛡️☝🏾
Your comment is so on-the-money. I feel like learning what you just described so well, particularly in corporate high market cap environments, is a key skill.
Eventually you will know the norms so much you'll be able to very intentionally violate them to express yourself more genuinely, while also knowing exactly who never knew them to begin with!
Men are different than women in distinct ways that I've seen two separate communication experts miss out on. Most women are open to communicate with and will be kind to men whether or not we're attracted to them. We will engage them as much, and sometimes more than men we're very attracted to because we're less nervous. Men tend to be the opposite, and we know this because women talk about how they're treated differently by men when they gain weight or as they age. Secondly, women do not know whether we're attracted to most of the men we end up with when we first meet them. We can actually grow to love a man and become attracted to him for his personality. Men don't tend to do this.
As a guy who doesn't smile and talks in a monotone sounding voice, yet isn't rude, that isn't true at all. Pretty much noticed that if you give alot of women no smile and one to two word answers, still be polite, alot of women get pissy, will immediately go on the defensive.
@RawOlympia I'm sorry sweetie, and I agree, it's one of those harsher realities we women come to terms with, and it's a literal paradigm shift. It alters your "before" and "after" perspective. It's brutal. I suppose that could be true for men in an opposite sort of way. Yet, I honestly believe many men get set in their ways more often. To have thought that attractive women were very kind to them could just mean that they weren't very attracted. Some sly men will learn later on that when a woman is intimidated or treats him with disdain that it probably means we like him... and we learned this from little boys who do the opposite (we "mature" faster, and see them as "mates" earlier). This could be uniquely American, but I don't think so.
Something that broke my heart when my brother was being charged w a felony and might’ve gone to prison was how my family treated him/the punishment he was facing (he only had to go to jail thankfully) and no one could understand/care WHY he did what he did, and how my family had a big hand in him being brought to that situation. I felt I was the only one who still saw him for who he was at that time. When I first heard the situation we were so close and both in shitty situations, I actually couldn’t comprehend why he’d been arrested, thinking he’d acted completely rationally for the situation. But the law makes no exceptions even for people living in a completely different reality than more privileged people.
This makes perfect sense to me. My brother stole 10 dollars from me once. At first I was very angry and mad. But after I thought about it. I was sad. If he had another option, he would have done that instead. He knew I would give it to him! I had already given so much! For him to admit he needed me to help him more would have killed him. So he lied and stole. I can honestly say I learned so much in this situation bc if it wasn't someone I love, I don't trust that I would have thought so long about it and came to forgiveness. But some people aren't raised correctly and in general ppl accept the reality they have been given without question
The problem with modern law and people in general, is that they lack the intelligence to understand what ethical standards are. This is why stoicism will always reign supreme over any other. I’m breaking the law due to modern medicine failing me, I take what I need to have some form of a quality life. I doubt any judge, officer or person would understand. People are beyond gullible these days. If only science and stoicism dictated what laws are ethical the world would be a better place.
Eastman talks about how his team reads people's behavior through quantitative means-reading number and type of detailed movements from video, for example-and then talks about how "cool" it was to learn from his professor how to manipulate data sets to get data to illustrate whatever your predetermined POV or thesis is. This is a deeply troubling morale/mindset for a researcher to have, especially as we increasingly use behavioral predictions in our digital systems to determine who/what people are, what they should buy, which partners they should pair with, which jobs they should have, etc.
That is why the saying trust the science is B.S. and as with all things motives are the driving force. Our defense is only to predict the motive and offset it with truer intentions.
Agree that it is definitely ''not cool'' to manipulate data. But I suspect the teaching and learning from that anecdote is this: If we totally trust everything published in the name of science, we take a big risk. I think that is a valuable lesson to learn as a youngster.
Really interesting. I like the emphasis on studying and coaching people to understand and help with perception issues rather than right/wrong behaviors.
The conversation was really interesting. I like the questions. I did feel disappointed in how many times the guest started and didn't finish what they were saying.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
Nah, everyone understands what a TYPICAL relationship looks like. Essentially a generalization, or "stereotype". Some people let other guys pork their wives and are fine with it. All types of different dynamics.
Wow. I’ve made a big big deal about teaching my children how important it is to know how to be wrong, and maintain respect. I have a lot of respect for people who know this…skill. You just hit on this. Thank you, now it’s not only MOM saying it. Now they’ll for sure listen 😏.
Also, its very endearing that you both visually and audibly want to be there talking and are enjoying it on a subconscious level. (Their legs are crossed towards each other which is body language that is placing them closer in thought and physical presence(in case someone was wondering how I figure that))
I don't condone lying...but its horrible how obsessed we are with being perfect in every are of modern life. It's suffocating why can't we just be humans.
@@heyhey11793 You can't literally just live if you're obsessing every second about how to be perfect...it's like self-centered and a bit paranoid imo. And like I said, suffocating...knowing at any second any blunder we might make could be encapsulated forever online by someone's phone recording without our knowledge. It's terrifying actually....black mirror type stuff.
Good that he explains that you need to calibrate for each individual's behaviour and the context of the situation. So many dipshits read body-language books, and take isolated moves out of context and apply them to every situation, claiming to be experts at "judging people". I remember years ago, some dude telling me that he knew I wasn't a good girlfriend for his mate, because as he was interrogating me, my eyes wandered off and broke eye contact. What he didn't realise was that they broke contact because my boyfriend (his mate) at the time was making eye-contact with me in the background and we were having a cute exchange. People see what they want to see. This was the same guy who told me that I couldn't be trusted because I was a Gemini.
Trustworthy people are trusted based on their actions. Keeping promises, not lying, not betraying others, not manipulating/gaslighting. It's really not about just looking at someone. Anyone who is smart isn't going to assume a person can be trusted just based on how they look or answer a question. Trust is broken the minute a person reveals they aren't trustworthy based on their actions. Focusing more on improving your own behavior to be honest, reliable, keeping promises, not putting others down, helping others, would be the only way to actually improve trust.
The question is when he is sure that somebody is not cheating. because automatic suggestion in our mind is real and multiplies the belief, because the subconscious mind (with subconscious thoughts and beliefs) works 95 percent a day and the subconscious mind is 90 percent negative so many may think the person cheats even in 10 percent suggestion or not?
I dig normalizing being in socks, even for official, recorded things :) You get to keep the place clean and cosy, and display those nice socks you bought or were gifted that usually no one sees! Also, great content :P
this is a great convo! haven't finished it yet but i do wonder if 3rd culture kids have a more intuitive and precise way of seeing people. in other words, how does having had adapted to various cultures make us more intuitive, literal and therefore accurate in interpreting other people's behaviour
I find stuff like this realy interesting! I was born in america with an english dad and Japanese mother. I was moved around different countries alot when young and mostly grew up in the uk. I feel that has given me the ability to read and connect with people quickly. Must be a survival mechanism due to my 3rd culture circumstance. It's like a radar that scans people to figure out what tribe they're in or something. With that info you can adapt the way you act. I do it less now i'm older as I just want to be my true self regardless of the person in front of me. Less fronting and conforming makes me more at peace.
Putting labels on people prevents connection by increasing biases and decreasing individualism. As well as causing a mindset that focuses on other's perceptions of us instead of understanding our own true motives. Explain how to walk on eggshells, trying not to offend someone only to continually agrue your true intentions because you are put in a box based on their perception of your intentions? As stated, people are too lazy to unlearn what they believe. So instead of unlearning what you think of others, learn yourself first. Then, learn not to listen to anyone who wants to put you in a box. Never question your motives after you have discovered what they are, of course.
In my practice, I constantly hear women tell me how much they hate being "judged". "Don't judge me" is a common command. Yet, incredibly, the same type of person judges others from people to fruit with much care and specificity. So why not behavior, I reply to them? Since denying judgmental thoughts is pathology, I suggest to accept that we judge but with a caveat -- the possibility of judging wrongly. Instead of having a fear of this, allow for corrections to conclusions of behavior. After all, manipulative behavior is all about creating false judgements of behavior and image. Allow yourself the latitude for changes in judgement but resist the notion not to judge. This "do not judge" mentality is IMHO an element of Postmodern indoctrination where "all behavior is equal"when it obviously is not, resulting in a phobia to judge. But, that's conditioning through miseducation for ya. Fix it. Or your results will be poor.
Very true in many ways, with the possible exception of emotions surrounding our particular trauma. I have found my perceptions revolving around my trauma are not always realistic or accurate. But yes in general cptsd does create the empathic people. Those who have experienced true suffering understand the suffering of others ❤
Great interview. I listened to all of it as I was going about my day and heard lots of insightful and interesting things. But I didn't know who was being interviewed. There was no introduction. It wasn't until the end that I picked up my phone and read the description. It would be nice if there were an introduction so listeners could know who they are listening to without reading the description. (I let UA-cam suggest videos and continue listening based on whether the topics and people are interesting to me or not)
I could always tell when a younger sister lied from an early age. Her lip would make a funny quiver and shape. Later in life I could always tell when she lied which was just about everything.
Did you ever think or find out that you were wrong? Or where you proven right once or twice and so you assume she lies about everything? Have you talked to her about it in a non-judgmental or accusatory manner?
Blake - after you show a leader in an organization they are wrong - how do you get them to take accountability for their error when most of them are a psychopath, sociopath or narcissist?
This type of talk makes me break into hives. I worked as a police officer long enough to feel how toxic this level of human analysis was at work and in their personal lives. Being in a relationship with one was brutal hell. The accusations because they felt these tactics were sure as day only sent me into withdrawal . Withdrawal just created more abuse. Never felt more ashamed to be human.
Accusations are projection Abuse is to break you down as a person like they do in the military and prison to make you fall in line for their control Therapy, videos like this and narcissists expert Dr. Ramani and Patrick Teahan are truly eye opening You’ll be a red flag expert in no time and won’t find yourself with such individuals and situations again ⚔️🛡️☦️
An easy way to see anyones personality, is to kind of shut down in their presence. Pretty much don't be rude, but don't give them any kind of fake energy. Alot of people will immediately show you who they actually are because they feel it doesn't matter at that point. Pretty much shit test strangers all the time, no smile, monotone sounding voice, one to two word answers, tons of people immediately take the mask off and show their true character.
I am naturally a “bubbly” enthusiastic person in social situations that will fill in the “awkward silences” OR be a quiet observer depending on the day. Both nervous energy but I can see why you would think it is fake energy. It is natural for me to be interested in people and like it to be reciprocated. When I come across someone like you described I will also shutdown, why put in any effort. Someone I know is how you described and this situation recently happened. Funny how when the tables are reversed they will start talking and being more engaging. It’s like it has to be on their terms. Unfair but yes shutting down on people does work even on the ones who try their shit tests 😏 your character is the one exposed.
This is not good. I do this bc it’s my personality. I’ve always been very flat, monotone, and I’m a big guy. I find that people will start by being themselves but if you don’t reciprocate they’ll probably not talk to you or walk away with a sour taste. Your better off being yourself, seeing how they react and reciprocate and that’s it. Don’t lie and don’t be fake but don’t purposefully be difficult to converse with. Ofc you have the option of just saying “oh this is just me” but that makes things wierd as well. Just don’t lie to coddle their feelings and that’s it.
@@Boosted_aj the general population for the most part are a bunch of basic bitches. The reason for this is because you don't have to be charming or funny to get ahead in life. Most people don't even try. The easiest way to see if people are charming or funny is put them in a position where they got nothing to lose. America runs on basic bitch.
I thought that I was really good at reading body language and then I realized that it was actually, literally telepathy. Consciousness is not inside our heads. This has been proven through studies of NDEs. The word just hasn’t totally gotten around yet. Consciousness is everywhere.
If you walk into a room and immediately KNOW, good luck on convincing others, especially those that are involved in something shady 😂 But you are correct, most have at least a limited degree of intuition, others are truly frightening accurate and literally hear your thoughts. These are natural abilities we are born with that can be nurtured and strengthen just like physical strength abilities can enhanced. Those that believe it is nonsense are also correct - they will never experience it because of personal biases and beliefs.
@@forestsnow6508 thanks for the acknowledgment. People are starting to talk about this now. It should be an part of the discussion. Have a good one brother.
This is very unsettling mambo jumbo.....Only God knows what’s in a persons heart, we change from day to day, minute by minute, Treat one another as we would like to be treatment.... obviously do your best, treat people with respect be honest and sincere.....Pretty easy really....God bless.....Amen....
If you're going to claim only God can know then you can't also claim something to be "pretty easy really" for anyone but yourself. If you have no idea what goes on inside other people you also have absolutely no idea how easy or difficult anything will be for them. Meanwhile many fields of science have carried out extensive research on what goes on inside a person mentally emotionally and psychologically.
i tend to be more literal thinking, but i have learned over almost 40 years to actively think about what people are doing with their bodies and the tone of voice... I get it so wrong though still. I have to pay a LOT of attention to see this stuff
Omg my brother in law is someone who makes simple things more then i are x10. If someone looks a certain way or moves their body a certain way he instantly comes to a conclusion of what it means yet he never breaks it down. He always says "i study people body language im good at judging character and im like buddy your an abusive, controling, diagnosed schizophrenia hes outward very demanding, has what i call LOUD confidence and LOUD dominance its so cringe and gross i cant stand it and anyone around him says it just feels so fake, its not at all genuine its like when you pertend to like what the group likes. Hes a very insecure person, feeds off drama ans fighting, he once told a women "i dont love you i beat the women i love and care about" this girl loved him hearing that just made my brain spin i couldnt imagine hearing that from someone you love and you want to love you back thats such a mind and emotional fuck. Things he says that are "fact" he claims i know arnt i soent 9 months studying attachment theory, polyvagel theory, nervous system science, Psychological development, truama and the affects of truama in relationships "specifically parenting" i love it i still love to learn more every day but sometimes i cant help but to correct him his ego is just so large for no reason he knows everything about everything, hes better at everything, he knows parenting when he lost all 3 of his kids, he knows marriage when he cant even maintain 1 relationship he either cheats, lies, or ends up in jail on domestic abuse iv told him so many times i will never take advice from someone that never raised their kids and hassnt had even a 1 year healthy relationship let alone a marriage i should be giving him advice his brother and i have 3 kids and been together for 8 years but again he knows everything he is the best. Its funy most of the time but it gets old and irritating he is also very disrespectful it drives him insane that i never wanted him when he tried way back in the day and his brother ended up getting me he just cant accept it its such a slash to his ego and image of hiself its histarical 😂
14:30 I can understand how most people understanding their background and why they committed some crimes deserve second chances, I can't understand how some would constantly commit crimes against children and feel no remorse for it, I feel that is a different type of problem.
Jerry marzinsky, Shakti modi and Scott peck are just a few mental health professionals who’ve come to conclusion that mental health issues are a matter of some sort of possession. Marzinsky has had schizophrenics who’ve healed themselves through fasting and scripture. They’ve done experiments to confirm that it is a form of influence outside of the individual. I used to work in the field and I’m leaning towards that y theory. Narcissists poses the same blueprint, of behavior, it doesn’t matter their age, their culture, the era that they lived. It’s identical across the board.
Does taking one's shoes off create trust because you feel more comfortable/ vulnerable? On that note...what if you don't want the other person to take their shoes off because it makes you feel uncomfortable.. like in a plane.
In my home everyone needs to take their shoes off. I dont even allow my guest children to wear inside shoes. It keeps my floor clean, it doesn't make sound on the floor and people feel home quicker.
@@sea.imagineeringI would never make someone take off their shoes. There's a mat to wipe them on in winter in summer there's no mud so it's fine . If someone made me pad around their house in my socks like a mental patient I would never go to their house again. Rude as fuck !
@@avancalledrupert5130 its a normal practice and its polite to take them off, when I visit someone I always ask if I have to take my shoes off. Its polite and respectful. 👍🏻
@@sea.imagineering it's not normal. I've been to every class of house from working class to people with titles and seats in the house of Lords. The only people that do it are lower middle class with bad taste and fited carpets. Everyone else has wooden floors.
@@avancalledrupert5130 sure in your area it may be like this. But in Asian culture it is a normal thing to do. I took the no wearing shoes inside from my bf's culture and since Im working with children playing on my wooden floors 😉, I think it is more hygienic than letting people walk into my house with muddy shoes. It also safes me a lot of socks that go stained and it safes me a lot of cleaning the wooden floors time. In the Netherlands it rains a lot. Do you let everyone walk into your house with wet muddy shoes? 🤷🏼♀️
if you scream at people as a CEO, you’re not good people. your team knows the truth because words are words. you can’t make people safe through behavior training.
Being told how to write a text …. ie he tells his employees they must use an emoji after their one word answers is the epitome of narcisistic controlling behaviour. His ego would be shattered by a one word answer.
Seems like your ego won't shift your behavior to help others feel comfortable... Everyone has narcissistic behavior, it's extremes that make them actually narcissistic.
@@apriljohnson1067 yeah it is but did you hear him say he doesn't know if someone is upset with him... Meaning that sense of control comes from an aspect of his life where he wants to make sure someone isn't upset with him. We all have an aspect of control weather it's working out or picking what we get to eat or absolutely everything is compromise to help others. Control comes from the lack of control over how u can impede on others lives or them on urs.
Just ask questions, actively listen and re-engage to redirect, give folks a captive audience and watch the magic happen. If you can get them to engage.
I look at other people and mimick it. I just dont understand what people want from me in conversation most of the time. I thinknits becausebinwas alone alot as a kid ans switched schools constantly so i just dont know what I should and should not say. I generally avoid face to face converstaion alone with other people because it makes me super uncomfortable.
There’s something deep rooted to all that Only therapy can draw it out, then stare it down, process it, and gain the understanding and learn the techniques to change the prior bad habits you used for survival and coping
Unemotionally using reasonable measures to ensure understanding. Geeking how to experience interacting with your own biases Seeing in biases interacting in different groups of people Good science in human behaviour.
1:00:00 came up with this theory myself….. when you walk into a room, are you there for yourself and how people perceive you, or are you there to make a pleasant experience for the people around you. Amazing how much this changed my life.
Although it is hard to differentiate this between people pleasing. I think people pleasing still is fundamentally based on how the self is perceived. It’s more like “ do things for others while realizing that what they think of you is none of your business”
Or, third option, you are there for the experience of the event, you are there to enjoy connecting with others, and you aren't wasting time focusing on what others think of you or judging others or trying to please anyone.
Yes!! If you start being really interested in other people vs thinking about their thoughts if you life gets relaxed and very very interesting
As administrator or in admin in a hospital..dealing with medical professionals..there is, by the nature of the beast, limited video… there is, however, no paucity of need… what can be done??
The idea that being comfortable as being the best way to be authentic and trustworthy is beautiful in itself. Whether you are speaking or on stage or just being filmed or photographed, it makes all the difference in the way we communicate well.
I wished eveyone was more authentic
.. lol until you know them
Death is handled so poorly in our society- my son passed and everyone tried to pep talk me- grief is a REAL blind spot in our society
So sorry for your loss.
Wow. I’m sorry!!!!
First, I'm so very sorry for your loss.
Second, I Believe people are like this because it's THE MOST painful feeling that we feel both psychologically, emotionally, and even physically experiences we can face in our lifetime. In truth, avoidance is self-preservation.
I love this guys view on people and humanity. Everyone is living their life through the lens of their collective experience, every one is victim to our own experience and our own perception. People need to be able to see others as humans figuring out this thing called life just as YOU are, no matter their circumstance.
So well said I couldn’t have summarized that better myself! Thank you!
Exactly . . . but GREED won't let it be . . .
I think that is exactly what jesus christ message is/was
I get mad at my perspective all the time 😖 mostly bc the awareness (of projection) can be brutal 😝
Is not your fault you don't choose to do what you do you have no choice and you are not aware of it
trust and respect are earned. Actions have to match their words. It's about exchanging and having integrity. It's rare
You respect everyone until they give you a reason not to respect them. People with power always say "respect" is earned, but it's always interesting that they only respect people like themselves.
Jordan Peterson says around half the population is up to no good, whether they are aware of it or not. 1 in 6 are narcissistic, 1-2% psychopaths, you know I haven’t seen the exact numbers but, it seems like it from what I experience
Respect is given until you prove otherwise and trust is earned. Imo
@@shayscott7498I disagree. I start people at neutral. I let the consistency between their words and actions be the foundation of my level of my respect.💝
Oh my gosh! I was a Corrections Officer in a jail and I so agree! I once (with a reasonable co-worker) walked into the most dangerous gang pod and talked them out of rioting. The dangerous gang members didn’t scare me because you could reason with them, but ONE person with violent schizophrenia is scary as hell!
@@cc.99-b5v hehe. Well, I'm prior military, and I'm very observant. This particular gang runs a lot like a military structure. I could tell, essentially the ranks of each of them. So I would go to the highest "ranking" person I could find and I talked to them. They then talked the lower ranking guys (who were the most violent, because they were trying to gain respect) out of rioting.
You looks familiar, did you work at Vc jail?
A lot of coaches and consultants make the mistake that senior management and CEOs aren't aware of their behavior. Often these power structures attract certain personality types: Narcissists, control fanatics, megalomaniacs....
When questioned about their behavior, they respond by gaslighting.
Any consultant with experience understands alignment in purposes and intentions/interests.. any one in a C suite has many agenda..
Anyone experienced in C suite knows consultants have agendas as well.. usually more billable hours, lol but sometimes power stroking as well.
@@pearpo All of these are true. However what the original commentator said, is indeed the case that is not discussed as often. It used to be perceived as a stereotype for employees to complain about "difficult bosses/managers" etc. And it used to be a stereotypical response to that stereotype to think that "it is the position that molds the character" or even that "this position requires people to become such characters". In reality, it is the other way around and this has been both known by popular wisdom but also today proven by science as well : power attracts narcissists and sociopaths much more than it attracts people in the middle of the altruism-sociopathy spectrum. Speaking of male sociopaths alone, who are more easily defined than narcissists (because anyone can be labelled as such, the definition is more loose), these are about 5% of the male population but they are about 30% of the upper management, high-end positions in whichever company, corporation and organisation. This means that sociopaths out of a combination of inner drive but also tons of machinations and back-stabbing they have 6 times more chances of climbing the corporate/organisational ladder. Hence it is not any "erroneous perception" of employees that their bosses are difficult, it is rather that they so often happen indeed to be difficult. The chances of falling on a sociopath boss/manager can be as low as 1 in 5 and as high as 1 in 3, probably more closer to the latter. When dealing with sociopaths, there is not much to do, it is not that these people can change who they are, they will keep on acting as they consider fitting. With sociopaths you deal them only with violence (of any sort, I do not mean just physical), but this is kinda difficult for employees, and the ones who stand-up are the first in line for firing.
@@pearpo seems a bit like pay to play with consultants fees
Learn to feel vibrations , then learn what each vibe means.
A lot of trustworthy people struggle with keeping eye contact.
I absolutely do and didn’t realize it until my public speaking instructor showed me on a recorded video.
Not really
@@coimbralaw for some people it's a confidence thing, pure and simple.
That is a characteristic of autism.
When I’m in thought, eye contact can be distracting from finding the way to communicate the idea I want to communicate, small talk is no problem.
In standup, I used to put my little recorder in the back of the room. Onstage, you're hearing the reaction up front. Sometimes, I thought a joke bombed, but people in back were laughing up a storm. For video, including the audience in the shot gives you a much better sense than close-ups of the speaker. So yeah, useful.
Feedback is very valuable
I used to maintain eye contact deeply. Until I was rejected my some of my best friends and lost my friend group. It demoralized traumatized me. And now I am scared to be vulnerable, judged and removed ..by everyone.
Try seeing it like the comment above you. Be there, but their thoughts of you don't matter. It helps alot.
The eye contact gift is just that….a gift
Your “friends” and group were bad people to their core and everything is real Ed through someone’s eyes and actions
Self and situational awareness is key
Eye contact, intuition, discernment, energy/vibes never lie
Please don’t allow those people to rob you of your gifts and your respect or looking someone in the eyes
⚔️🛡️☦️
@@NF40375 Right on! Yeah. I its hard for good hearted people to try their best with others that seem to disapprove the kindness given. Its gives you the sense of failure to fix or fitting in. I agree with you totally.. Look in their eyes and their emotions afterwards. Its going to show you whats really happening with them towards you. If they're not appreciating your attempt, then get away & stay away from them totally. Meaning: They're not welcoming you as you deserve to be treated. Dont allow them to run over you. Find New people that appreciate your attempts at happiness, and make sure they are also attempting to bring the happiness out of you... Helping you to better your life. Now those are the people thats worth your precious time in this lifetime. Its worth it.
Ps. Do not limit this to no one, and I mean no one... they "ALL" must treat you this way in order to show they "LOVE YOU" like im showing you now for example! It Called: "Consideration" 💪🏾🤎
Liz: Perhaps some context might help? - 90% of our species are dysfunctional as a result of TOXIC parenting! While not much of Western psychology impresses me, I can strongly recommend THE child psychologist ALICE MILLER (R.I.P. ) Look up her profile on Wikipedia for a list of her books. In chronological order of their development, I next recommend GABOR MATE (e, acute). While he is available on You Tube. I STRONGLY recommend you work through AM first as she ws the first to discover the original source of our species problems i.e. TOXIC parenting & learning this stuff in chronological order will make it easier for you. - Certainly changed my life round ! :) - H.T.H.?
You simply grew out of those friends. You'll make new ones who appreciate the confidence exuded with strong eye contact. Just look away sometimes to avoid looking threatening.
The best TRUTH you could ever relate was in your summation of success. It's a PERSONAL journey!! My point all the way through, and I am NOT in Competition and NEVER have been!!
I love the idea of sitting down and talking about what an ideal relationship looks like to each other.
Watching the audience is so underrated, I had some coworkers get angry with me because I gave honest feedback on a presentation and my main point was that they didn’t take into consideration the audience when they created the presentation. I had a similar background (military/aviation) to most of the audience and I found the presentation childish and unserious. Needless to say the business didn’t continue in that setting.
The tips on reading are great, I also remember experiences, but couldn’t tell you what someone told me about a situation, or what a movie or book is about.
I'm happy to be able to list him as one of my coaches "beyond tells"
There have been studies in narcissists and they actually signal one another through body language and non verbal cues. I discovered this while dating a covert narcissists. I’m very good at picking up patterns and I noticed a lot of energy and signaling between him and other narcissistic women. Believe it or not I prayed to god for discernment and the next time it happened I picked up on a very negative energy or vibration, I could feel this or sense this when he was lying as well. It made him very uncomfortable because oddly enough he thought I was able to read his mind. this is how they scout out who is going to be willing to cheat. The other woman was also a covert narcissist. Narcissists view cheating as a game of superiority, if they can cause you partner to cheat to them it means they are superior to you so they active try to get people to commit adultery.
Yes to all of this
Broken people attract broken people
And most times broken people target healed people as a cover or to copy their behaviors to o conceal their dark behavior
Narcissists are selfish and self serving; they are spiritually weak and Godless.
Narcissists are anti love which is anti God which makes them the enemy
Because when one is spiritually weak/Godless and self serving they are susceptible to demonic oppression/influence and possession
Protect yourself, children, animals, disabled and elderly at all costs ⚔️🛡️☝🏾
Your comment is so on-the-money.
I feel like learning what you just described so well, particularly in corporate high market cap environments, is a key skill.
It usually isn’t the C.. it’s certain investors, certain S levels, etc
I agree
What a weak person!
Eventually you will know the norms so much you'll be able to very intentionally violate them to express yourself more genuinely, while also knowing exactly who never knew them to begin with!
Men are different than women in distinct ways that I've seen two separate communication experts miss out on. Most women are open to communicate with and will be kind to men whether or not we're attracted to them. We will engage them as much, and sometimes more than men we're very attracted to because we're less nervous. Men tend to be the opposite, and we know this because women talk about how they're treated differently by men when they gain weight or as they age.
Secondly, women do not know whether we're attracted to most of the men we end up with when we first meet them. We can actually grow to love a man and become attracted to him for his personality. Men don't tend to do this.
I was crushed when learning this upon coming out of a coma, and how much disdain I had to face regarding men ~
@@RawOlympia💜
As a guy who doesn't smile and talks in a monotone sounding voice, yet isn't rude, that isn't true at all. Pretty much noticed that if you give alot of women no smile and one to two word answers, still be polite, alot of women get pissy, will immediately go on the defensive.
@RawOlympia I'm sorry sweetie, and I agree, it's one of those harsher realities we women come to terms with, and it's a literal paradigm shift. It alters your "before" and "after" perspective. It's brutal. I suppose that could be true for men in an opposite sort of way. Yet, I honestly believe many men get set in their ways more often. To have thought that attractive women were very kind to them could just mean that they weren't very attracted. Some sly men will learn later on that when a woman is intimidated or treats him with disdain that it probably means we like him... and we learned this from little boys who do the opposite (we "mature" faster, and see them as "mates" earlier). This could be uniquely American, but I don't think so.
@yeahyeahwowman8099 Some women will do this to other women though. I've had women do this if I forget having met them before.
Something that broke my heart when my brother was being charged w a felony and might’ve gone to prison was how my family treated him/the punishment he was facing (he only had to go to jail thankfully) and no one could understand/care WHY he did what he did, and how my family had a big hand in him being brought to that situation. I felt I was the only one who still saw him for who he was at that time. When I first heard the situation we were so close and both in shitty situations, I actually couldn’t comprehend why he’d been arrested, thinking he’d acted completely rationally for the situation. But the law makes no exceptions even for people living in a completely different reality than more privileged people.
This makes perfect sense to me. My brother stole 10 dollars from me once. At first I was very angry and mad. But after I thought about it. I was sad. If he had another option, he would have done that instead. He knew I would give it to him! I had already given so much! For him to admit he needed me to help him more would have killed him. So he lied and stole. I can honestly say I learned so much in this situation bc if it wasn't someone I love, I don't trust that I would have thought so long about it and came to forgiveness. But some people aren't raised correctly and in general ppl accept the reality they have been given without question
Tell us you’re a mammy without telling us you’re a mammy.
😂 rectal prolapse
The problem with modern law and people in general, is that they lack the intelligence to understand what ethical standards are. This is why stoicism will always reign supreme over any other.
I’m breaking the law due to modern medicine failing me, I take what I need to have some form of a quality life. I doubt any judge, officer or person would understand. People are beyond gullible these days. If only science and stoicism dictated what laws are ethical the world would be a better place.
I love how you mentioned what he was arrested for
Eastman talks about how his team reads people's behavior through quantitative means-reading number and type of detailed movements from video, for example-and then talks about how "cool" it was to learn from his professor how to manipulate data sets to get data to illustrate whatever your predetermined POV or thesis is. This is a deeply troubling morale/mindset for a researcher to have, especially as we increasingly use behavioral predictions in our digital systems to determine who/what people are, what they should buy, which partners they should pair with, which jobs they should have, etc.
That is why the saying trust the science is B.S. and as with all things motives are the driving force. Our defense is only to predict the motive and offset it with truer intentions.
Agree that it is definitely ''not cool'' to manipulate data. But I suspect the teaching and learning from that anecdote is this: If we totally trust everything published in the name of science, we take a big risk. I think that is a valuable lesson to learn as a youngster.
Really interesting. I like the emphasis on studying and coaching people to understand and help with perception issues rather than right/wrong behaviors.
This is good stuff. People with "ADHD" and other cognitive differences have a problem with many of these things.
Especially eye contact.
The conversation was really interesting. I like the questions. I did feel disappointed in how many times the guest started and didn't finish what they were saying.
I agree. I find it amazing that he makes money coaching others regarding presentations.
Blake you are such a wealth of information and power. I love listening to you! Thanks for the shout out too.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach one?
Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Everyone understands what a relationship is supposed to be....many choose otherwise out of selfishness.
Nah, everyone understands what a TYPICAL relationship looks like. Essentially a generalization, or "stereotype". Some people let other guys pork their wives and are fine with it. All types of different dynamics.
whatever your idea of relationship is … it serves your sense of self (even it is serves the other self too)
Yep! Body language is an extremely powerful communicator - so, pay attention to it.
The sock is stealing the show at times, but very interesting topic!! Eager to learn more on this. Would love a continuation.
We have some more conversations around psychology and behavioral science here: fs.blog/episodes/
😂
Hilarious [ about the sock...lol ]
Wow. I’ve made a big big deal about teaching my children how important it is to know how to be wrong, and maintain respect. I have a lot of respect for people who know this…skill. You just hit on this. Thank you, now it’s not only MOM saying it. Now they’ll for sure listen 😏.
Also, its very endearing that you both visually and audibly want to be there talking and are enjoying it on a subconscious level. (Their legs are crossed towards each other which is body language that is placing them closer in thought and physical presence(in case someone was wondering how I figure that))
I don't condone lying...but its horrible how obsessed we are with being perfect in every are of modern life. It's suffocating why can't we just be humans.
Totally disagree !
Many people do horrible things already, imagine if we didn’t strive to be best version of ourselves.
We are all liars in some sense...
@@heyhey11793 You can't literally just live if you're obsessing every second about how to be perfect...it's like self-centered and a bit paranoid imo. And like I said, suffocating...knowing at any second any blunder we might make could be encapsulated forever online by someone's phone recording without our knowledge. It's terrifying actually....black mirror type stuff.
So we shouldn’t try to be the best versions of ourselves so other humans don’t suffer?
Please stop saying "THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION."
Love the discussion and got some nuggets. Much obliged.
Good that he explains that you need to calibrate for each individual's behaviour and the context of the situation. So many dipshits read body-language books, and take isolated moves out of context and apply them to every situation, claiming to be experts at "judging people". I remember years ago, some dude telling me that he knew I wasn't a good girlfriend for his mate, because as he was interrogating me, my eyes wandered off and broke eye contact. What he didn't realise was that they broke contact because my boyfriend (his mate) at the time was making eye-contact with me in the background and we were having a cute exchange. People see what they want to see. This was the same guy who told me that I couldn't be trusted because I was a Gemini.
He’s trying to sabotage your relationship, probably fancies you 😂
@@Prometheus7272 lol nah.
Thank u for saying that
Trustworthy people are trusted based on their actions. Keeping promises, not lying, not betraying others, not manipulating/gaslighting. It's really not about just looking at someone. Anyone who is smart isn't going to assume a person can be trusted just based on how they look or answer a question. Trust is broken the minute a person reveals they aren't trustworthy based on their actions. Focusing more on improving your own behavior to be honest, reliable, keeping promises, not putting others down, helping others, would be the only way to actually improve trust.
This is great - so informative. Thank you.
Great, you're the guy that teaches terminator how to tell when a human is lying. . . I cant see how that could go wrong. . .
The question is when he is sure that somebody is not cheating.
because automatic suggestion in our mind is real and multiplies the belief, because the subconscious mind (with subconscious thoughts and beliefs)
works 95 percent a day and the subconscious mind is 90 percent negative
so many may think the person cheats even in 10 percent suggestion
or not?
"Subconscious is 90 % negative "
This can't be right . The world would be much worse than it is.
I dig normalizing being in socks, even for official, recorded things :)
You get to keep the place clean and cosy, and display those nice socks you bought or were gifted that usually no one sees!
Also, great content :P
this is a great convo! haven't finished it yet but i do wonder if 3rd culture kids have a more intuitive and precise way of seeing people. in other words, how does having had adapted to various cultures make us more intuitive, literal and therefore accurate in interpreting other people's behaviour
i love this concept. would love to hear more
on this.
I find stuff like this realy interesting! I was born in america with an english dad and Japanese mother. I was moved around different countries alot when young and mostly grew up in the uk. I feel that has given me the ability to read and connect with people quickly. Must be a survival mechanism due to my 3rd culture circumstance. It's like a radar that scans people to figure out what tribe they're in or something. With that info you can adapt the way you act. I do it less now i'm older as I just want to be my true self regardless of the person in front of me. Less fronting and conforming makes me more at peace.
Putting labels on people prevents connection by increasing biases and decreasing individualism. As well as causing a mindset that focuses on other's perceptions of us instead of understanding our own true motives.
Explain how to walk on eggshells, trying not to offend someone only to continually agrue your true intentions because you are put in a box based on their perception of your intentions?
As stated, people are too lazy to unlearn what they believe. So instead of unlearning what you think of others, learn yourself first. Then, learn not to listen to anyone who wants to put you in a box. Never question your motives after you have discovered what they are, of course.
In my practice, I constantly hear women tell me how much they hate being "judged". "Don't judge me" is a common command. Yet, incredibly, the same type of person judges others from people to fruit with much care and specificity. So why not behavior, I reply to them? Since denying judgmental thoughts is pathology, I suggest to accept that we judge but with a caveat -- the possibility of judging wrongly. Instead of having a fear of this, allow for corrections to conclusions of behavior. After all, manipulative behavior is all about creating false judgements of behavior and image. Allow yourself the latitude for changes in judgement but resist the notion not to judge. This "do not judge" mentality is IMHO an element of Postmodern indoctrination where "all behavior is equal"when it obviously is not, resulting in a phobia to judge. But, that's conditioning through miseducation for ya. Fix it. Or your results will be poor.
Look at these two guys, look at their socks, look at the way they sit, using the term "partner" when referring to his wife...weak!
Huge news! Every woman on earth can do this without trying. Its called listening to your gut.
Sapolsky’s work is awesome! One of the most brilliant minds of our time.
CPTSD (along w/undiagnosed autism) helps me read nonverbal language - or energy…
Ok… we didn’t need to know you were autistic 😂
Me too
CPTSD made me fell and still feel very sensitive to others. Like what they’re actually up to
Very true in many ways, with the possible exception of emotions surrounding our particular trauma. I have found my perceptions revolving around my trauma are not always realistic or accurate. But yes in general cptsd does create the empathic people. Those who have experienced true suffering understand the suffering of others ❤
Yea 😮💨, for many of us it was a leaned survival mechanism
Very good conversation. Would like it even more if Blake finished his sentences…. 😊
hah, right?
Narcissistic people have the pattern down perfectly of making people feel like the most important people in the room- maybe we can learn from them
As a eoman not one needs yo tell you anything about it your heart feels immediately something is going different
This is priceless. Thank you for your vulnerability
Great interview. I listened to all of it as I was going about my day and heard lots of insightful and interesting things. But I didn't know who was being interviewed. There was no introduction. It wasn't until the end that I picked up my phone and read the description. It would be nice if there were an introduction so listeners could know who they are listening to without reading the description. (I let UA-cam suggest videos and continue listening based on whether the topics and people are interesting to me or not)
Love the audience recording. Brilliant. Body language says everything!!! Always. Not that the devices arent already doing this. 😅
I've seen that predator look one too many times.
Same
From others to me and from the one I’m with to others
Very demonic
Im getting out of a relationship for that very reason. 4 months wasted, but at least it’s not 4 years. 😅
That was very interesting. Blake is an impressive guest.
1:19:23 appreciated the point made here about the value of those who operate outside the norm. Great observation and intelligent, relevant question.
Fascinating! Some of the things i wonder about everyday
I could always tell when a younger sister lied from an early age. Her lip would make a funny quiver and shape. Later in life I could always tell when she lied which was just about everything.
Did you ever think or find out that you were wrong? Or where you proven right once or twice and so you assume she lies about everything? Have you talked to her about it in a non-judgmental or accusatory manner?
Blake - after you show a leader in an organization they are wrong - how do you get them to take accountability for their error when most of them are a psychopath, sociopath or narcissist?
You threaten to take away what is most valuable to them. It's not one size fits all. You need to understand the person (shadow work).
Valuable information, anybody looking for improvement can really apply it practually.
This type of talk makes me break into hives. I worked as a police officer long enough to feel how toxic this level of human analysis was at work and in their personal lives. Being in a relationship with one was brutal hell. The accusations because they felt these tactics were sure as day only sent me into withdrawal . Withdrawal just created more abuse. Never felt more ashamed to be human.
Woah what? Please explain further
Accusations are projection
Abuse is to break you down as a person like they do in the military and prison to make you fall in line for their control
Therapy, videos like this and narcissists expert Dr. Ramani and Patrick Teahan are truly eye opening
You’ll be a red flag expert in no time and won’t find yourself with such individuals and situations again
⚔️🛡️☦️
the hook on this one was amazing! Hooked and will have to start doing hooks like that for my podcast!
An easy way to see anyones personality, is to kind of shut down in their presence. Pretty much don't be rude, but don't give them any kind of fake energy. Alot of people will immediately show you who they actually are because they feel it doesn't matter at that point. Pretty much shit test strangers all the time, no smile, monotone sounding voice, one to two word answers, tons of people immediately take the mask off and show their true character.
I am naturally a “bubbly” enthusiastic person in social situations that will fill in the “awkward silences” OR be a quiet observer depending on the day. Both nervous energy but I can see why you would think it is fake energy. It is natural for me to be interested in people and like it to be reciprocated. When I come across someone like you described I will also shutdown, why put in any effort. Someone I know is how you described and this situation recently happened. Funny how when the tables are reversed they will start talking and being more engaging. It’s like it has to be on their terms. Unfair but yes shutting down on people does work even on the ones who try their shit tests 😏 your character is the one exposed.
Yeah, people act scared when they’re uncomfortable. Uncanny valley activate! Lol
This is not good. I do this bc it’s my personality. I’ve always been very flat, monotone, and I’m a big guy. I find that people will start by being themselves but if you don’t reciprocate they’ll probably not talk to you or walk away with a sour taste. Your better off being yourself, seeing how they react and reciprocate and that’s it. Don’t lie and don’t be fake but don’t purposefully be difficult to converse with. Ofc you have the option of just saying “oh this is just me” but that makes things wierd as well. Just don’t lie to coddle their feelings and that’s it.
@@Boosted_aj the general population for the most part are a bunch of basic bitches. The reason for this is because you don't have to be charming or funny to get ahead in life. Most people don't even try. The easiest way to see if people are charming or funny is put them in a position where they got nothing to lose. America runs on basic bitch.
How can you get an authentic truth from a manipulative behavior?
I thought that I was really good at reading body language and then I realized that it was actually, literally telepathy. Consciousness is not inside our heads. This has been proven through studies of NDEs. The word just hasn’t totally gotten around yet. Consciousness is everywhere.
If you walk into a room and immediately KNOW, good luck on convincing others, especially those that are involved in something shady 😂 But you are correct, most have at least a limited degree of intuition, others are truly frightening accurate and literally hear your thoughts. These are natural abilities we are born with that can be nurtured and strengthen just like physical strength abilities can enhanced. Those that believe it is nonsense are also correct - they will never experience it because of personal biases and beliefs.
@@forestsnow6508 thanks for the acknowledgment. People are starting to talk about this now. It should be an part of the discussion. Have a good one brother.
This is very unsettling mambo jumbo.....Only God knows what’s in a persons heart, we change from day to day, minute by minute, Treat one another as we would like to be treatment.... obviously do your best, treat people with respect be honest and sincere.....Pretty easy really....God bless.....Amen....
If you're going to claim only God can know then you can't also claim something to be "pretty easy really" for anyone but yourself.
If you have no idea what goes on inside other people you also have absolutely no idea how easy or difficult anything will be for them.
Meanwhile many fields of science have carried out extensive research on what goes on inside a person mentally emotionally and psychologically.
Clown
Ohh dear calling something negative and then going to “god” in the next is be beyond ironic lol
Wow ! So refreshingly right on point ! You guys are amazing and so insightful! Thank you for this!
The degree of eye contact is more of a cultural thing!
i tend to be more literal thinking, but i have learned over almost 40 years to actively think about what people are doing with their bodies and the tone of voice... I get it so wrong though still. I have to pay a LOT of attention to see this stuff
1:01:54 this is a gem. I'm going to use this tomorrow on this new girl I can tell is into me. "Tell me about such-and-such this weekend." Thanks
I love your approach to learning about this TY, this is very helpful especially the questions you have
First channel watch, first video, great listen, subscribed.
Would this work with someone that doesnt emote much? Stoic people i suppose, i find people missjudge me quite a bit, im just not very expressive.
The MMPI is a great diagnostic tool. Sybil Francis PhD professor on clinical psyychology
Omg my brother in law is someone who makes simple things more then i are x10. If someone looks a certain way or moves their body a certain way he instantly comes to a conclusion of what it means yet he never breaks it down. He always says "i study people body language im good at judging character and im like buddy your an abusive, controling, diagnosed schizophrenia hes outward very demanding, has what i call LOUD confidence and LOUD dominance its so cringe and gross i cant stand it and anyone around him says it just feels so fake, its not at all genuine its like when you pertend to like what the group likes. Hes a very insecure person, feeds off drama ans fighting, he once told a women "i dont love you i beat the women i love and care about" this girl loved him hearing that just made my brain spin i couldnt imagine hearing that from someone you love and you want to love you back thats such a mind and emotional fuck. Things he says that are "fact" he claims i know arnt i soent 9 months studying attachment theory, polyvagel theory, nervous system science, Psychological development, truama and the affects of truama in relationships "specifically parenting" i love it i still love to learn more every day but sometimes i cant help but to correct him his ego is just so large for no reason he knows everything about everything, hes better at everything, he knows parenting when he lost all 3 of his kids, he knows marriage when he cant even maintain 1 relationship he either cheats, lies, or ends up in jail on domestic abuse iv told him so many times i will never take advice from someone that never raised their kids and hassnt had even a 1 year healthy relationship let alone a marriage i should be giving him advice his brother and i have 3 kids and been together for 8 years but again he knows everything he is the best. Its funy most of the time but it gets old and irritating he is also very disrespectful it drives him insane that i never wanted him when he tried way back in the day and his brother ended up getting me he just cant accept it its such a slash to his ego and image of hiself its histarical 😂
14:30 I can understand how most people understanding their background and why they committed some crimes deserve second chances, I can't understand how some would constantly commit crimes against children and feel no remorse for it, I feel that is a different type of problem.
All my life I paid attention to EVERYTHING with human behavior in order to navigate them and/or get what I want/need.
My dude is inlightened.truth is the salvation over all as in cure
Never trust a man who uptalks.
It's in the eyes when you talk to them.
This ☝🏾
TRUST QUOTIENT = (CREDIBILITY + RELIABILITY + INTIMACY) / SELF-ORIENTATION
The recording thing is excellent
"for others than for yourself" 💛❤💙💜
Monty Python’s Meaning of Life film, the scene with Death at dinner comes to mind: “You Americans, you talk and you talk and you talk!” 😂😂😂
Jerry marzinsky, Shakti modi and Scott peck are just a few mental health professionals who’ve come to conclusion that mental health issues are a matter of some sort of possession. Marzinsky has had schizophrenics who’ve healed themselves through fasting and scripture. They’ve done experiments to confirm that it is a form of influence outside of the individual. I used to work in the field and I’m leaning towards that y theory. Narcissists poses the same blueprint, of behavior, it doesn’t matter their age, their culture, the era that they lived. It’s identical across the board.
Very interesting, thank you for sharing
Does taking one's shoes off create trust because you feel more comfortable/ vulnerable?
On that note...what if you don't want the other person to take their shoes off because it makes you feel uncomfortable.. like in a plane.
In my home everyone needs to take their shoes off. I dont even allow my guest children to wear inside shoes.
It keeps my floor clean, it doesn't make sound on the floor and people feel home quicker.
@@sea.imagineeringI would never make someone take off their shoes. There's a mat to wipe them on in winter in summer there's no mud so it's fine .
If someone made me pad around their house in my socks like a mental patient I would never go to their house again.
Rude as fuck !
@@avancalledrupert5130 its a normal practice and its polite to take them off, when I visit someone I always ask if I have to take my shoes off. Its polite and respectful. 👍🏻
@@sea.imagineering it's not normal. I've been to every class of house from working class to people with titles and seats in the house of Lords. The only people that do it are lower middle class with bad taste and fited carpets. Everyone else has wooden floors.
@@avancalledrupert5130 sure in your area it may be like this.
But in Asian culture it is a normal thing to do. I took the no wearing shoes inside from my bf's culture and since Im working with children playing on my wooden floors 😉, I think it is more hygienic than letting people walk into my house with muddy shoes. It also safes me a lot of socks that go stained and it safes me a lot of cleaning the wooden floors time.
In the Netherlands it rains a lot. Do you let everyone walk into your house with wet muddy shoes? 🤷🏼♀️
I love it we need more people's like you guys seriously I would love you're to do a study on me and help me alone the way keep up the work 💯🤗💪🙂
Great point on so many things .
500 some questions on a test I'm getting bored after 10 and just filling in random spots
Couples that blog is very easy to read. Even with the camera in front of them
Is there a reason you are both stocking footed? Lol
your Q about to ask better questions, check out Sean from 'hot ones' he nails it
if you scream at people as a CEO, you’re not good people. your team knows the truth because words are words. you can’t make people safe through behavior training.
this guy is a suck up. he wants CEOs to hire him. lol
Excellent podcast!
You can have some neuro divergent and therefore have difficulty looking into your eyes but at the same time be very correct and honest.
Being told how to write a text …. ie he tells his employees they must use an emoji after their one word answers is the epitome of narcisistic controlling behaviour.
His ego would be shattered by a one word answer.
Seems like your ego won't shift your behavior to help others feel comfortable... Everyone has narcissistic behavior, it's extremes that make them actually narcissistic.
It’s certainly controlling
@@apriljohnson1067 yeah it is but did you hear him say he doesn't know if someone is upset with him... Meaning that sense of control comes from an aspect of his life where he wants to make sure someone isn't upset with him. We all have an aspect of control weather it's working out or picking what we get to eat or absolutely everything is compromise to help others. Control comes from the lack of control over how u can impede on others lives or them on urs.
Do not agree at all but an interesting thing to choose as ur take away from it all
Loved this. Great guest
11:46
INTEGRITY IS KEY
👑 🗝 🗝🗝👑
Just ask questions, actively listen and re-engage to redirect, give folks a captive audience and watch the magic happen. If you can get them to engage.
Good show. Thanks!
I look at other people and mimick it. I just dont understand what people want from me in conversation most of the time. I thinknits becausebinwas alone alot as a kid ans switched schools constantly so i just dont know what I should and should not say. I generally avoid face to face converstaion alone with other people because it makes me super uncomfortable.
Same, it's a sign of autism.
There’s something deep rooted to all that
Only therapy can draw it out, then stare it down, process it, and gain the understanding and learn the techniques to change the prior bad habits you used for survival and coping
Unemotionally using reasonable measures to ensure understanding.
Geeking how to experience interacting with your own biases
Seeing in biases interacting in different groups of people
Good science in human behaviour.
Love this so much
Go positive, go first. I like that. 😊