The Influence Expert: 7 Ways to Get People to Do What You Want (Even When They Don't Want To)

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  • Опубліковано 21 тра 2024
  • Check out my New York Times Bestselling book, Clear Thinking. It's packed with proven frameworks and practical strategies that will give you a roadmap to navigating any situation with poise and intelligence - fs.blog/clear/
    Psychologist Robert Cialdini dives into the principles of influence. These small things unlock your ability to influence others. More than just exploring how to use them, we explore how to defend against them.
    00:00 - Intro
    01:26 - Difference Between Influence and Manipulation
    03:44 - Influence Principle #1: Reciprocation
    22:03 - Influence Principle #2: Liking
    31:26 - Influence Principle #3: Social Proof
    41:25 - Influence Principle #4: Authority
    48:24 - Influence Principle #5: Scarcity
    56:30 - Influence Principle #6: Commitment & Consistency
    01:02:28 - Influence Principle #7: Unity
    To listen to the full episode, become a member today: fs.blog/membership/
    ----
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 107

  • @Amitab74
    @Amitab74 3 місяці тому +18

    “Ask people for their opinion and you get a critic. Ask for their advice and you get a partner”
    Wow!! Wow🌱

  • @ToughdataTiktok
    @ToughdataTiktok 7 місяців тому +10

    I like your interviewing style: asking the right questions then letting the man talk

  • @BradKaellner
    @BradKaellner 2 роки тому +128

    Ask for advice, not opinions... it cultivates an atmosphere of partnership. Pure gold.

  • @cactusqueen6417
    @cactusqueen6417 Місяць тому

    The influencers voice is so soothing to me. I love listening to him. He could voice children’s books!

  • @preputuallearning3227
    @preputuallearning3227 Рік тому +21

    The great part is, Shane every time asking "How do we defend" is incredibly important.
    Appreciate the pod.

  • @luisvazquez2451
    @luisvazquez2451 10 місяців тому

    Fantastic information, will put it to use today. Thank you!!

  • @AnnieVip2627
    @AnnieVip2627 4 місяці тому +1

    Giving first only works if you value yourself first. I realized it after all the people who took credit for my ideas and projects got benefitted the most but they took it granted. People will value you time and contribution only if you let them know you value yourself.

  • @user-lj9fo3pg9d
    @user-lj9fo3pg9d 5 місяців тому +1

    Thank you both of you, you are really very kind

  • @hanaezra9452
    @hanaezra9452 3 місяці тому

    This was truly eye opening!! Thank you❤

  • @goldgrime
    @goldgrime Рік тому +1

    Thank you so much for this incredible and valuable information.

  • @rakutenbyu5916
    @rakutenbyu5916 7 місяців тому +2

    I usually don't like to listen to lengthy explanation or long videos, but the way this person explained I could listen to him without any complaints for whole day. So detailed explanation. Best but the Most underrated video I believe.

  • @DougDennis
    @DougDennis Рік тому +2

    Popularity is all the rage these days! lol great podcast, thank you.

  • @luisfelipedelgado2603
    @luisfelipedelgado2603 11 місяців тому

    Amazing just like what my doctor recommend me...Thanks.

  • @BBQWINGSCom
    @BBQWINGSCom Рік тому +1

    I'm so inspired,thank you sir...I will use your advice in my business.

  • @darshanjain8458
    @darshanjain8458 2 роки тому +6

    Thanks for amazing interview Shane

  • @sundaramaniyer2393
    @sundaramaniyer2393 2 роки тому +19

    1. Give first- that's how the society functions 04:17
    Don't ask them to take the action first, you take the action first by giving singing valuable to them such as information or anything that benefits which is not about you.
    Don't accept gifts that has to be returned, bcz now you raise your bar to fulfill their want. It is just a trick to get more out of you.
    Similarity- Show that you are the same as the other person. You have common characteristics- point it out as their qualities exist in you not other way around

  • @AK4Z.
    @AK4Z. 3 місяці тому

    took notes

  • @jalvarez9542
    @jalvarez9542 Місяць тому

    This man is on 🔥 👌

  • @user-sx4qr5ez6e
    @user-sx4qr5ez6e Рік тому +5

    Influence involves voluntary participation from the person being influenced, who has the freedom to accept or reject the influence. Manipulation, however, often involves coercion or deception to force someone to comply with the manipulator's wishes.

    • @Cyrildivas
      @Cyrildivas Рік тому +1

      I totally agree with you on that...

  • @maikchange
    @maikchange 2 місяці тому +1

    I’m not sure why this law of reciprocation doesn’t have much evidence within my own life to believe in its effectiveness. I don’t let it discourage me. However, this video has created a bit of a dilemma for me. The gentleman makes this seem like it is the “secret to getting everything you want”. I feel, regarding my circumstances, my generosity towards other people has resulted in me being perceived as less valuable. Consequently, I have been exploited and undervalued more often than not. Maybe this is because the world is largely populated with narcissists. Maybe there is a larger unaddressed personal issue. Either way, it does feel comforting to at least hear a “professional” advocating for reciprocation as a core characteristic.

  • @symphony357
    @symphony357 9 місяців тому

    I see what you mean. My dentist complimented me on my sneaker choice one time. "I have the same brand!" she exclaimed.

  • @sandeepayachit
    @sandeepayachit 2 роки тому +8

    Recently subscribed to FS blog from Naval's recommendation. And this is the first video of yours I saw. Have read Influence twice, so glad to be able to see and hear Robert live. His ideas in the book literally come alive with his excellent diction. Thank you Shane!

  • @wnorton
    @wnorton Рік тому +3

    Shane: Great episode -- any way you can fix the audio? I want to share this with colleagues, but I think I did some minor damage to my hearing listening with headphones given all the audio peaks throughout the episode. It would've been bad enough once or twice, but I had to move off headphones because I was getting aurally shocked every few minutes.

  • @freeshipping9643
    @freeshipping9643 8 місяців тому

    RC is true amazing individual. These 7 just blkw my mind 🤯. When i first heard them my entire view changed. Built the internet IMO.

  • @prayaanshmehta3200
    @prayaanshmehta3200 Рік тому +7

    1:28 influence vs manipulation
    (i) reciprocation 3:44
    mcdonalds study 5:30
    (can't people get used to?)
    first is the key 6:15
    (ii) liking 22:03
    (iii) social proof
    (iv)
    (v)
    (vi)
    (vii)

  • @carlorizzo827
    @carlorizzo827 11 місяців тому +3

    Thank you!! You stoke my reading lust! I love reading, yet i remember times i was too dissociated, or in pain, to focus on reading. That i can calm my mind at all enough to read is a sign of some recovery. I identify w/the ambivalence about Jung. I read a few of Ms Woodman's👍❣️There's another Jungian author published in her series oh what's his name! Castration And Male Rage. OUCH!!!

  • @Comlooyoko
    @Comlooyoko 2 роки тому +1

    Great advice. Good to see the Slovenian translation of your book on the shelf. "Vplivanje". Love it! :)

  • @shaktischauhan
    @shaktischauhan Рік тому

    This is so good! I love your Intro with classical music

  • @FarInfraredWellness
    @FarInfraredWellness 3 місяці тому

    I invented a strange product and this is a great video

  • @johndonaldson224
    @johndonaldson224 Рік тому +1

    We decide things from 2 choices...gaining a benefit ...OR ..making a loss..

  • @adamkasprowicz
    @adamkasprowicz Рік тому

    great content

  • @heidiwhiting7416
    @heidiwhiting7416 Рік тому +1

    The rule of giving with the the idea that nothing is given for free, was practiced in ancestry native culture regularly. Especially between Mother Nature and our creator

  • @6ettomendes
    @6ettomendes Рік тому +2

    The "I don't want you missing out on the rest" at the end was so funny!
    Thank you both for the incredible insight, looking forward to part 2!

  • @jjphenom2831
    @jjphenom2831 2 роки тому

    Once again a fantastic and rich episode!
    Boy did I wish that these useful pieces of advice were internalized upon listening already!

  • @antonioking1
    @antonioking1 3 місяці тому

    Holy fuck this is amazing!

  • @mazmac4553
    @mazmac4553 Рік тому

    Wow wow wow

  • @JamesRoberts1982
    @JamesRoberts1982 2 роки тому +2

    Would love to know what site it is that compares ecommerce site features.

    • @tkppodcast
      @tkppodcast  2 роки тому +1

      Checkout the full episode plus get more podcasts, transcripts, and access to our knowledge library: www.FS.blog/tribe

  • @PratikAman
    @PratikAman 2 роки тому

    Rule #2 being applied in comments section.😁
    I also have been following farnam street from Naval's recommendation (Rule #4 influenced me).

  • @hanaezra9452
    @hanaezra9452 3 місяці тому

    Here's a very extreme example of reciprocity. Woman saved herself and husband on 7/10 Hamas horror in Israel, by offering the attackers food. She made them food, they ate and the elderly couple were left alone.

  • @keithjackson28
    @keithjackson28 Рік тому

    Bad for evil people good for good people. I believe in what I have to offer people,I’m just trying to get people out of there own way.

  • @nikovelikov
    @nikovelikov 2 роки тому +4

    Great podcast, I've read Influence years ago. It's good to remind the basics, thanks for the share!

  • @rozdevin2468
    @rozdevin2468 Рік тому

    What if there are no commonalties?

  • @amankazi274
    @amankazi274 Рік тому

    Why 2 same books ? In background ?

  • @ThunderBroomPilot
    @ThunderBroomPilot 2 місяці тому

    Actually, it was Krushchev asked to remove missles from Turkey.

  • @MatthewSmith-vc8go
    @MatthewSmith-vc8go Рік тому +3

    Does the rule of Reciprocation still work?
    I feel like people today want everything now, and bc of so many "free" apps, they expect free stuff. So it's not even treated like a gift any longer.
    Anyone have any insights on this? (I'm fine with being wrong, I'd like actionable input on this.)

    • @rampitup12
      @rampitup12 Рік тому +3

      Oh my same thing went through my mind. If people always gave back to those who gave them something then there would be no heartbreak in the world. all men or women would return love to caring partners. I think this principle only works with decent people. Selfish people will take and take and never be obligated

    • @hamzanocap
      @hamzanocap 8 місяців тому

      ​@@rampitup12Humans have been selfish and greedy since our Father Adam ate from the only tree in the entire Garden that God told him not to. We have not, nor will we ever, change.

  • @rozdevin2468
    @rozdevin2468 Рік тому

    When you see testimonies listed , most of them are from friends and family.

  • @coachcastle666
    @coachcastle666 Рік тому +2

    I am not trying to be negative in with anyway whatsoever but I have lived by the principle of always give 1st and always try to help however I find this actually pushes almost everyone away from me in spite of my best efforts could you please give me any advice this is been my entire life and I'm very upset and frustrated with it I am not a terribly agreeable person I simply like to help people and I'm very upset when I have never received any reciprocation thus I stopped Except in extreme circumstances or when I just can't help myself

    • @JMMM-bt3sw
      @JMMM-bt3sw 11 місяців тому +2

      What's your intention for giving?
      When you give, is it evident that you are giving in order to get back?
      Are you a receiver? Are you comfortable with people giving you back? Giving you compliments?
      Does your giving take away other people's accountability and responsibility for what they should be doing for themselves?
      What are your examples of giving?
      There's a fine line between giving/receiving and giving/taking

  • @gunayy7639
    @gunayy7639 9 місяців тому

    Selt cok çok ricet ederim Türkçe altyazılı ekleyin

  • @nataliepapolis
    @nataliepapolis 10 місяців тому +3

    If we like someone it is probably because they have helped us in the past, not because we both like ice cream,

  • @masoudbahraini2291
    @masoudbahraini2291 2 роки тому +3

    Amazing interview and thanks for that. Just can't resist to say that it wasn't nice to end the interview like this 😜

    • @tkppodcast
      @tkppodcast  2 роки тому +1

      Oh it's not over! Become a member to listen to the rest: www.fs.blog/tribe

  • @rogerrobins7574
    @rogerrobins7574 6 місяців тому

    Why two of every book?

  • @PranavTambat5001
    @PranavTambat5001 9 місяців тому +1

    22:22

  • @marcoszambrano1293
    @marcoszambrano1293 3 місяці тому

    Is this compatible with religions? How this “sale-man influence techniques” are framed within Christianism?

  • @vancouver_dad5195
    @vancouver_dad5195 5 місяців тому

    Mentioning about the Cuban crisis, Russia's move is just a response to thr nuclear missiles placed at Turkey.

  • @scottiusnevious5143
    @scottiusnevious5143 Рік тому

    I don't rally like people who like me, I don't care how they really feel. I like people that shower me in complements and people who's childhoods I align with.

  • @Mexicotravelltd.
    @Mexicotravelltd. Рік тому +2

    Really slow talking, but really valuable insights

  • @user-bv1zh6un3z
    @user-bv1zh6un3z 16 днів тому

    who is this speaker?

  • @PickingNuggets
    @PickingNuggets 2 роки тому +6

    Go positive go first..... Peter Kaufman 🤔

  • @thejusticesparrows
    @thejusticesparrows Рік тому +8

    One of my Doctors used these tactics on me and I knew something wasn't right. I knew he was hiding something, but I couldn't work out what.
    When I found out he lives by these manipulations techniques I was absolutely appalled and disgusted beyond measure😠
    What a total creep. We the mere plebs, his customers and his clients are not as dumb as he thinks we are!! He might be RICH but as a human being he is ...poor.

    • @jefaspirit
      @jefaspirit 7 місяців тому +2

      I stopped trusting doctors a long time ago.

  • @sheldonzack
    @sheldonzack 11 місяців тому +1

    Great content and I thank you for breaking it down!! Even with the current crypto dip, I'm still Glad I can smile back at my portfolio of $103,700 made from my $700k weekly and trade within a short period

  • @raginald7mars408
    @raginald7mars408 Рік тому +1

    Herr Putin is Your best Student!

  • @SenecaTheDreamer
    @SenecaTheDreamer Рік тому +3

    Almost poetic that this entire interview could be defined as “manipulative” based on the definition he just gave. How to force a yes and avoid critical questioning? Manipulate your audience into a false “yes.” Am I the only one paying attention here?

    • @thejusticesparrows
      @thejusticesparrows Рік тому

      It is manipulation, 💯

    • @kareem199928
      @kareem199928 6 місяців тому +1

      That only applies if you have bad intentions. If I influence you into buying a service that changes your life, that's not negative.

    • @GreenWhitePurple
      @GreenWhitePurple 4 місяці тому

      @@kareem199928why not? Everything I do or buy is going to change my life in some way. But my life might have been fine without it, and it might not be a positive change for me to spend the money.

  • @lovemyalaskaful
    @lovemyalaskaful Рік тому

    This is an American black market model...first ones on the dealer 😄

  • @GreenWhitePurple
    @GreenWhitePurple 4 місяці тому +1

    I absolutely hate it when sales people try to engage in chat and find “common ground”. My life is none of their business, and I don’t care what they did at the weekend. They are not my friends and if their product/service and price doesn’t interest me, wasting my time with chit chat is definitely not going to change that. If they sent a card saying “I like you” I’d think about calling the police!

  • @Real.Estate.REsolved
    @Real.Estate.REsolved 10 місяців тому

    Wow this was jam packed with info @mozination recommended Robert and it is amazing 🤩 stuff! I already have some great action items to do on Monday when I’m the office! Thank you all!

  • @jb9433
    @jb9433 Місяць тому

    A manipulative way of conveying that influence isn't the same as manipulation.

  • @natashawest583
    @natashawest583 Рік тому +14

    Amazing video and thank you for breaking it down!! Despite the economic downturn, I'm so happy have been earning $ 60,000 returns from my $7,000 investment every 10days..

    • @dennisstevenson7038
      @dennisstevenson7038 Рік тому

      She is also my personal trader, crypto analyst and account manager. With an initial invested capital of $8000,it yielded returns of over $22000 within two weeks of trading. I was really impressed by the profit Actualized

    • @dennisstevenson7038
      @dennisstevenson7038 Рік тому

      @Harry Jack Oh yeah She is always active on whats-app APK🇱🇷

    • @dennisstevenson7038
      @dennisstevenson7038 Рік тому

      . , ✍🏻ᴛʜᴀɴᴋꜱ
      ꜱᴇɴᴅ ᴀ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ
      ♱ 𝟭𝟱𝟲𝟮𝟯𝟳𝟭𝟭𝟴𝟰𝟮 👍📈

    • @dennisstevenson7038
      @dennisstevenson7038 Рік тому

      @Harry Jack she will guide you ☝️

    • @JessicaMadilyn
      @JessicaMadilyn Рік тому

      Really, I think I will start with 3k USD when I got home...

  • @henryd4331
    @henryd4331 Місяць тому +1

    Most people don't give a shit. They're just bothered by you.

  • @user-lc9fg5hi4e
    @user-lc9fg5hi4e 29 днів тому

    There’s almost an innate natural element to how he talks and carries himself. It’s not a talent you can master easily

  • @permaguard3166
    @permaguard3166 2 місяці тому

    Of course “evolution” a lousy theory must be brought up. So did the cave man give rocks out for Christmas and receive rocks in return? Or was it bones? Maybe bananas.

  • @nataliepapolis
    @nataliepapolis 10 місяців тому

    Who falls for these tricks...😅
    Wow...must be MAGA people

  • @davart311
    @davart311 Рік тому

    so basically you make someone believe to be part of something in order to sell him something...