hi verified creator i dont know who posted this comment a minute ago and is currently the first comment (not including the pinned post) on newest first
that whole thing is honestly full of pretty good lines! "they tell tales of your beauty, but really it's just the way you are" is probably my favourite
every once in a while i think about this one time when i was at least 7-8 and i wrote my mom a “grocery list”, all it said was “all the fruits goodbye” probable some of the most poetic words i’ve ever written
When I was 5, I “wrote” a story that I was very proud of, and asked my kindergarten teacher to read it. She sat everyone down on the carpet do so in front of the class while she sat in her rocking chair, and I stood next to her, in front of everyone. She seemed very excited to read it, and so was I. Then she opens it. Her face falls, and I get concerned. I don’t know what’s wrong. Apparently, all the “words” I had written were just scribbles. Not even illegible kindergarten-handwriting, I mean literal wavy lines. The kind you make to _imitate_ writing. I was so embarrassed, and surprised, like I didn’t know I had done that. I genuinely thought I had been writing and was shocked to see I hadn’t. I don’t remember what the heck I thought I was writing, but I do remember it was on a hot pink sticky-note pad and had at least one drawing of a horse.
Aw that's kind of adorable in a sense - kids sometimes don't know the difference between pretending to do something and actually doing it. My little cousin used to bring us papers where he'd written a bunch of letters in a row (he knew some letters, but didn't know how to spell), and he'd ask us to read them to him. I think he thought he might have actually written something, but he needed us know what he'd written. My older cousin (probably about 6 or 7 years old) dutifully read out every line for him no matter how many times he asked, phonetically. Even though it was all nonsense. XD
@@Jupiter-T My little sister would write like that. She only knew v, i, and o, because those were in her name, and some of the v's looked like u's, so many of her notebooks were filled with "viovio vi vio uivuio vuioio vio"
@@dumaass _"Potter, " Dumbledore said calmly, "I'm going to die, I'm going to die. -- I've lost my leg."_ Why did they skip that in the movie adaptation!?!?
When I visited my old home I saw a book I wrote when I was 6/7 and I saw in my terrible childish handwriting that still hasn’t changed yet: “Horrid Henry is armed and ready”
When I was pretty little, my Grandma made up these stories about a character called Sammy Seagull for me. There was a LOT of lore, including immortality orange juice (of my invention) and Sammy’s delinquent, dumpster-diving cousin, Lester. When we went to their vacation house together in the summer for a bit every year, I sometimes got to help make up the stories. And one time, when we had gone home for the summer and they hadn’t yet, I decided to make a Sammy Seagull story all by myself for her, maybe as a surprise (I don’t remember). I wrote it in a Disney notebook, and it’s still in the basement to this day. It’s only a page long, and in it, Sammy, his wife, Shelly, and probably some of their children go to rescue some seagulls from this monster. Pretty standard stuff, right? But when they get to where the monster is, the seagulls have already been eaten, so they just hold a memorial service. THAT’S HOW IT ENDS. I quite literally couldn’t hurt a fly as a child, I do not know where this came from, but I think about it at least once a month
I wrote a story called "Toad in Jail" when I was like 8. Its a picture book with Toad from Super Mario having a bunch of dead bodies in his house. And then the whole fucking government shows up with a swat team. And he gets thrown in a jail cell. Yeah I started medications at 9 if you were wondering
I remember when I was a lot younger and my autism was still undiagnosed I wrote a story in one of my journals about a little girl (definitely not me) who was “socially disabled” and everyone hated her and I think the story ended with her dying alone but I don’t remember. Anyway that was interesting to find a decade later 😅
When I was 7, me and my sister sang something called The Toilet Song that we made up. If went like this: "Standing on the toilet" "Nice and tall" "Dancing on the toilet" "Nice and tall" "And then you fall in" "SPLASH" "Splash" "splash"
Sounds like a lot of autistic kids I've met who don't understand how to convey emotions yet. Statements of fact work better. Source: me being an autistic kid who also did this shit
I had to write a fact book about lions in class once when i was 6 or 7. I spelt lions as "Loins". Example of this was "A lot of male loins have lots of hair, it is called a mane"
when I was a kid I found a vhs tape at our house labeled "The Loin King" and when I asked to watch it my mom had to explain that it wasn't the movie I thought it was. all I knew was that a loin was a body part so I asked if it was a horror movie and she said yes. I imagine she gave my dad a talking to later about leaving his porn sitting out
when I was like 5 I read a book called walk two moons (excellent book btw) but the main character got into an argument with someone and she drew a picture of them hanging by a noose in a tree, which started the most demented habit of mine that got me psychologically evaluated at 8 after my mom found a box of like 3 notebooks full of drawings of people hanging in trees 💀
yes!!! I recently found a story i wrote when i was like 7 and it was literally just “this is puffer and his pet. he puts his pet in a spaceship. the pet died. the end.”
I wrote a short story in class when I was seven. I asked my mum a few months ago to look through my old school stuff for me and she came across it. What stuck out to me was the misspelling of furious as throrrelas and the fact that the baddie, a fox, "split himself in two" in anger when his prisoner escaped
Interesting. Most people who would give WWE wrestlers fantasy crossover companions would choose Pokémon; they’re much easier to match to a character gimmick, like Gym Leaders.
One of my favorite ways to entertain myself in elementary school was to create stories in Google Slides that were 70% or more imagery. And when I wasn’t using the shape tools to draw stick figures, iPads cosplaying as iPhones, and horrifically misshapen dogs, I was collecting my imagery from Google Images. As a result, many of the images I found were either abysmal resolution, or had white backgrounds on them. But I never bothered to find better images. Unironically one of the funniest images I have ever created comes from one such powerpoint, and it’s funny for all the wrong reasons. Imagine, if you will, a crunchy, stretched JPEG of Squidward Tentacles, with two high-resolution tennis ball PNGs with white backgrounds pasted over his eyes. The cherry on top: the words "TENNIS BALLS" plastered in black Arial across poor Squidward’s forehead.
when I was 8 or 9 I wrote a story about a half man, half chicken hybrid. He was gifted a chicken as a pet but ended up marrying her instead. Truly a literary masterpiece. It was illustrated too
When I was about 9 I wrote a murder mystery with donuts, and a fight between snoopy and the red barren. Both got 100s. I’ve always been a good writer with execution, but the plot has always been chaotic. I guess nothing has changed eh?
As a child, I began to write a story called "Wow, a 50 Foot Cow!" and all of the stories on here made me think of it. I also wrote a book about a group of mice and rats who were friends and lived in the same apartment building and one went missing. I named some of the rats and mice after nicknames my brothers gave each other and me, and also our goldfish who was called "Big Pappa". I need to find those one day, they're probably hilarious
My parents won't let me forget the time my Brownie pack got a letter from HRH D&D of Cambridge for sending in some cards for the royal wedding, and I was SO jealous that I didn't get to marry Prince William and become a Princess that I SCRIBBLED OUT PRINCESS KATE'S NAME 😂💀
About a month ago I found a story book I wrote for my sister when I was 10. It was about a giraffe named George who sold every kind of gun in the world and one day a glue gun malfunctioned and shot him in the neck which made his neck permanently stuck in a squiggly shape. The other giraffes bullied his so relentlessly for it that he moved away and joined the circus. The best part is that I was severely dyslexic as a child, so I spelled 'giraffe' differently every single time I wrote it. The book's title read "Gorge the Genrare" and the following are all of my attempt as spelling giraffe: Genrare, Genraf, Grafe.
Well I once wrote a story (age 5-6) about “Bab the plecmn”. Took now-me a week and three illustrations of a man wearing blue to figure out that- _oh!,_ Bob is a _policeman…_
*I remember when I was elementary school, I wrote a series of stories of me going through time in a time machine and in one of the stories I knocked on a door to a house and whoever should open it but BENJAMIN HARRISON! I got so excited at meeting him that I fainted. Can't remember what else I wrote in my adventures, but I remember that particular event.*
When I was 4 years old I wrote a story called “Do you have money at your house” and it was about a kid that got a penny from doing chores, and decided to go around town and brag to everyone about his money by laughing hysterically in their faces when they said that they didn’t. Then everyone calls the boys mother and tells him what he did and the mom wrote all over the penny so that he couldn’t use it anymore. Truly peak fiction.
@@10-year-oldcalculus19 I would draw a bunch of pictures and then take photos of them with my dads camera and then he would combine them and I would voice over them in Adobe Aftereffects. Then we would burn it into a disc. I have a ton of movie that I made.
I recently moved and someone that was purchasing one of our old fancy bookshelves lifted it up to see a note underneath from who knows how long ago that just simply said, "you smell."
When we were cleaning out one of the barns on my grandpa’s family farm that’s straight up older than the country we live in there was a message written on the wall dated 1909 that just said, “John was here” lol.
4:08 i nearly died of laughter man jesus fucking christ, the delivery is so bloody brilliant, the voice with which you read "notes to self", the few seconds pause during which i started to hypothesise what could be there, and just as soon as i thought that it being blank would be fucking hilarious, you reveal that this shit is actually a blank page, i am so bloody glad that i watched it not during the night cuz all the neighbours would have been pissed for all the laughter noise and my flatmate would have strangled me in my sleep and shat on my chest
When I was a kid, I wrote a story about a crow that refused to migrate during the winter, he almost froze to death, and a kindly family took him into their home and saved his life. My sister read the story and said, “Crows don’t migrate.”
@@Keznen 🫢 Silly six-year-old me. I should have specified which species of crow. 💀 Thanks for the heads-up for the next time I write a story about crows. 👍
I keep all my old notebooks, so I have drawings and notes all the way back to kindergarten. Every once in a while I look through them for nostalgia or a laugh, one of my favorites being a page of "Good behavior my dogs did today", one side is full of nice things that one dog did, and the other side for the other dog is just empty.
Little-kid-me knew early on that I wanted to be a writer. However, she wrote a confusingly wholesome story about a pony, and I refused to believe it was written by me.....until it got to the very last page, in which the pony's owner (some random little girl) was killed off by a vampire. Addendum: Aside from another story (which was about a girl having to go buy magical sugar for a healing tea, when some animal person she was friends with got sick), I continued trying to make sense of what else I wanted to write. Didn't realize until I started hitting double digit age that half of what I had been writing was fan fiction...
"A book of lovely men on holiday" XD Also the way you sang that God's cool song reminded me so much of that South Park episode with Cartman trying to win the Christian album award. XD
I found an old diary once from when I was in third grade. The entry for May 22, 2015 simply read: “I am bored. I will name this day Meat Shank Mind Day.” I cannot stop thinking about this.
I used to make up holidays, and one was Kimploni on January 14. It was a holiday celebrating shrimp and fish, where people would thank them for being delicious ingredients for food, or, and I quote, “kiss fishbowls with their pet fish.” As far as I know, “Kimploni” is not a real word.
In grade 5, I had to write a report about King George III of England. I mentioned that he was formerly “Prince of Whales.” My mother never let me live that one down.
I have some old elementary school notebooks where little me wrote about slaughtering pigs, a robe that's red like the blood of my enemies, and worst of all, a drawing of a little bird-man named "kink"
When I was like 8, I made a story about a Japanese girl who once tortured her friends, and to become a better person she had to wear a magical kimono from what I remember.
I attempted to write an autobiography when I was seven. At that age, I really didn't any life experiences to write about, but I have saved the title should I write an autobiography as an adult: "My Damn Life."
I once tried to write a short story about a stray dog we had found on the trail near our house. I drew a colorful dog portrait on the cover and then wrote this: Once (And that was it, I got ONE word in before either getting distracted and forgetting about it or giving up lol)
I love that it's actually a good idea well constructed and mostly executed just fine, and then, suddenly, there's the weirdly mundane and clunky phrasing of that last line. It's like a dancer coming up with a nice choreography, performing it quite well most of the way, and then just walking to the final spot.
When I was a kid, me and the neighbor kid started a "band", and since we were big fans of Kiss, well, we called ourselves... Kiss. We pretended to be Kiss, I guess. I distinctly remember the lyrics (we only wrote a bunch of lyrics, of course neither of us could play instruments at the time) to a song called "Bombing Houses". It went as follows. Ahem. "Bombing houses, it's not so fun because it's just my dad who says I should bomb houses But now it's time for me to leave and never see him again, yeah!" That was the whole song. Absolute masterpiece if I say so myself.
This reminds me of the fact that my brother used to ask the most incredible questions when he was a kid, including "Do cats drink coconut milk?" "When a baby's born, how will the mummy know what the baby's wearing?" And "How did Diesel (our dog) get the holes in his nose? You know, the ones where he breathes?" There was also this line of thought "Why can't birds fly underwater? Maybe they can, and you just can't see them. Unless you're in a submarine. But it doesn't have any windows so you still couldn't see them. [long pause] Do submarines have windows?"
SAME 8:38 “Ten one oh eight… you were being mean to mean in the morning, mean mean mean, like a evil machine.” I even thought about it in math class and I tried not to laugh like some weirdo. 💀
When I was like 10 I got a story published on the school newspaper. It was something like this: There was a frog that didn't eat flies and a fly that didn't eat poop. The other frogs and flies hated them. So they went to China and ate vegetables with chopsticks. -The end. And that was the creative peak of my life.
When I was 6 I made a book “series” where each book was just one of those stapled-together folded book things. I spent a lot of effort on the covers. They are all completely blank.
I had a journal when I was probably 6 or 7… There was one page dramatically titled, “Secrets We Shouldn’t Know.” The only item on there was “tic-tacs.”
When I was 12, I basically wrote a crack-fic involving Audrey Hepburn, Barney the Dinosaur, Snoopy, and Bill Nye the Science Guy. In this story, Ms. Hepburn and Barney are a couple. Bill Nye and Morgan Freeman bond over a shared love for science, become besties, prance around Morgan’s apartment in tutus and watch Titanic together. And it all ends with everyone traveling to Australia where Bill becomes apart of The Society of “The” Names (other members include Larry the Cable Guy, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Bindi the Jungle Girl) and all of them singing “Africa” by Toto (Note: this story was written 5 years before that song became a meme).
When i was eight, I made cards, containing very vulgar drawings and text, with names such as "I will summon an ancient Egyptian God to eat your pancreas". I made this kind of thing into a FIFTY-SIX PART SERIES. Edit: That was during the summer holidays after I had finished year 3, and when we started year 4, we had to write a short story about kids going to a summer camp. I made mine about one of the waitresses putting the kids one by one in a meat grinder and serving their corpses in burgers. The head mistress suspended me for that.
That reminds of a comic series me and my friend made called Crowbar Tales. We would take turns drawing them and pass them to each other in class. There were two rules to make one though, there had to be a crowbar or a play on words involving crowbars and the second rule was someone had to die a violent and gory death.
Cursed story written by 5-year-old me: “Once upon a time there was a plant and a tree. Then a wizard came and turned them into a boy rabbit and a girl rabbit. They went to their lands, and suddenly they met up again. Then another wicked wizard came and he turned the boy rabbit into a bad rabbit who turned the girl rabbit into a dead rabbit, and she was dead forever. THE END.” The worst part is this was five year old me’s DREAM 💀
about 15 years ago, the author Michael Kelly wrote a wonderful article about his early attempt at a spy novel (written at the age of 8) that he'd recently rediscovered he's the man behind behind "My Godawful Life" and the stories about Roy Orbison wrapped in clingfilm; the article is called "The Spy Who Borrowed My Car" some highlights - * instead of "he said", the younger Kelly preferred to use the construction "qoute he" (misspelling both "quote" and the word he meant, which was "quoth") * the main character, a James Bond or Simon Templar-like secret agent called Brendan Abraham, claims to have seen combat in Northern Ireland, Newcastle and the Lake District * a good 10% of the book is the main character arranging to borrow other people's cars, as he doesn't have one himself * and this sentence cracked me up: "At one point the confusion reaches new heights with the appearance of a couple of murderous drug-smuggling villains with the not-quite-sinister names of Boris Hampshire and Brian Simon Whitmore."
@@emmahealy4863 in the author's own words, "In fairness to my juvenile self, this would have been pre-urban-regeneration Newcastle [ca. 1978], and as for the Lake District... mountain country. Bandits. The thing is I've always been a stay-at-home type and tend to regard anywhere more than a few miles from where I live as fraught with peril. "
The creepy story ones like "The shape-changer" sound like the kind of thing that would be in some kind of analogue horror series where it turns out they were visited by entities that are ancient and incomprehensible.
I wrote a story when I was like ~8-10 about a wasp that really wanted to be a bee (because everybody hates wasps but bees are useful and widely loved). Then a good fairy appears and tells her that she can grant her that wish, but she needs to really consider it carefully because unlike wasps, bees die when they sting someone. The wasp is like that's fine, I still want it, so the fairy turns her into a bee. The (now) bee is thrilled, she flies around, makes honey and all that happy bee stuff, BUT THEN something happens, I don't remember if she's reckless and gets too close to a human or if it's a complete coincidence, but basically she's about to be hit or squished by a person and out of instinct and habit, she stings... and dies. The end... Idk what the moral was supposed to be... Be(e) yourself and don't try to be someone you're not...? I'd love to know how I came up with it lol
Fun fact, Bee stingers are designed for smaller insects and not large thick skin of mammals. A bee stinging another insect means they can pull it back out and be perfectly fine, but when stinging a human, trying to get it out is a pain, so they end up ripping off a part of their backside when they try to pull out. That's what kills them. However, if a bee is smart enough (and the human doesn't immediately smack them), a bee can carefully rotate and get it's stinger out from human skin safely. There are videos of this. (And it's better since it doesn't leave any swelling) Just a little fun fact.
My older sister once found a paper plate with a crayon drawing of a watermelon on it that read “Melon of the ocean” and to this day we don’t know where is came from because we don’t even use paper plates.
I used to be obsessed with ancient Egypt when I was 8 and I recently found my old drawing of my “ancient Egypt fursona" (that's probably the best way I can describe it) from like 2010 😭😭 no wonder I was getting bullied at school
when I was like 12 I wrote a story about a kid who is with his friend in a crowd, they get separated, and he later sees his friend with a clone of himself. He eventually convinces his friend he’s the real one and they shoot the clone but later he finds out he was the clone and gets survivors guilt over having killed the original and replaced him
@@mushroomeep684 i think so, i think it was just a cool story they thought up. i don't think anyone would've asked that question if it was an adult who wrote it
In my second grade class, we were assigned to write something cool about being in nature. I wrote "if you die in the woods, you'll get eaten by a turkey vulture". The teacher got mad but I still think that's pretty cool.
When I was 3, I once filled a 100-page notebook with an epic story called "Smelly Camel Poo". Which was literally about camels travelling across the world - and taking shits.
When I was like, 6, I had a "book series", I wrote/drew called "Super Dog". About a 2-inch-tall dog with super powers who defended the world from evil (usually giant animals) One story I was fond of re-making ended with our titular hero stabbing a snake to death with his Wolverine Claws, including a lovely illustration of the snake bleeding to death. Another favorite of mine ended with an evil witch being boiled alive. The villains who didn't meet a grisly end were a dog-cat hybrid who turned evil after being cast out by society, an evil cat who wanted to just cause destruction, and an evil dog with whom he would often team up with, fittingly named "Villain Cat", "Villain Dog", and "Evil Cat Dog", respectively. Recurring characters included such emotionally compelling individuals like: Power Pup, Super Dog's 5-year-old sister who snuck out with him on dangerous missions; Super Cat and Cat Kid, basically just Super Dog and Power Pup but genderbent and cats, friendly rivals to the main heroes; Fish-dog, a dog with a fish tail instead of a dog tail who was born as a tadpole with dog ears to two normal dog parents before undergoing a metamorphosis, she was the main love interest; and the townspeople, distinguishable only by the color of their fur: Pink Dog, Yellow Dog, Red Dog, Blue Dog, Green Dog, Purple Dog, Teal Dog, Light Blue Dog, White Dog, and Mayor Black Dog. Idk about you guys, but I think 6-year-old me was onto something, this may be the next MCU.
@bashydaggett You want lore? I can give you lore. This population of miniscule canines lived on an isolated island in the East China Sea, which was a former colony of a greater tiny dog empire until their ancestors declared Independence and had a Revolutionary War (I was writing these around the time I learned about the American Revolution from watching Schoolhouse Rock). Little Jack (aka Super Dog), was a direct descendant of one of this tiny dog nation's founders and was named after his great-great-great-etc grandfather. The island had a Capital City called Dogtown, where the stories took place. A distinctive feautre of Downtown Dogtown is that all the "skyscrapers" were topped with animal ears, inspired by the antennae of the Sears and John Hancock towers of my then hometown of Chicago. Hidden somewhere in Dogtown was a portal to my backyard (Super Dog was my imaginary friend for a brief period of time and this was my explaination for how he got to my place). Theoretically, a human could enter the portal, but they would have to be careful not to trample the micro-sized civilization on the other side. There's more original lore beyond that, but I can't remember it off the top of my head so I'd have to dig out the few surviving copies of the "books" to elaborate further.
Reminds me of when i drew almost every frame from this ms paint pingu animated video i saw on UA-cam where Robby killed Pingu by using his tongue to take his eyeball out, i guess cut his arm and collected his blood in a cup and drank it before shooting him... I was maybe 6-7 years old?? Unsupervised internet access in the early 2000s really was a mad time.
When I was a kid, I wrote a short story about a blue monkey detective who solves a murder. Unfortunately, the story was lost to time. I can only imagine the train wreck it once was given my struggles with all things language arts growing up.
Not sure that it really counts for this kind of thing, but I have a Halloween activity book from when I was young in which it said “draw some turrets on the castle.” At the time I did not know what turrets were and apparently thought it said TURTLES. so I drew several orange turtles roaming the castle walls and didn’t think twice about it
I still vividly remember 4 year old me drawing in my room the most DRAMATIC and disturbing visual story about the different ways 6 people died. I can recall drawing the ghosts of each one where they presumably died, one being on a mountain where they were killed while mountain climbing… and in the middle of the drawing was a group of family members mourning each persons death… I think the only reason I can still remember this 12 years on is because of the horrified look my mum gave me when I stupidly showed it to her after I drew it. Must have thought I was being possessed by a demon.
In kindergarten i used to make "books" it was two pieces of paper folded and stapled together. One of them was about christmas and it had santa clause and said "im coming for you!!" And now im afraid of my 6 year old self
I remember making this story when I was 10 about a unicorn in "Candyland" and an evil cloud destroyed the Candyland and the Unicorn used it's magical powers to defeat the cloud and the Candyland went back to normal and there was also a giant hole from the battle and they never fixed that.
Well this is embarrassing
hi verified creator i dont know who posted this comment a minute ago and is currently the first comment (not including the pinned post) on newest first
are you a pumpkin or an egg
Thank goodness I didn’t share my letter. I would feel worse than you.
Also whats up checkmark
You raised a lot of brave points about infrastructure and mortality and I respect 10-year-old Xploshi for that 👏
@@Matt_Roseso true
Okay but
"Would you celebrate if I let you win"
Is honestly a great line
It really is
The thing was a lowkey banger
i would lol im a jerk
WHERE IS THE ALBUM? WE WANT THE DANG ALBUM!
that whole thing is honestly full of pretty good lines!
"they tell tales of your beauty, but really it's just the way you are" is probably my favourite
Matt Rose is like that slightly deranged uncle we all have. He’s always there when we need him and probably has a couple convictions
I don't have an uncle...But I' ll matt as 1
fr smoking too many cigars!
Yeah
I would guess that one of the convictions is "disturbing the peace (SKULL EMOJIIIIIIIIIII)"
He also touches you when your parents aren’t looking
every once in a while i think about this one time when i was at least 7-8 and i wrote my mom a “grocery list”, all it said was
“all the fruits
goodbye”
probable some of the most poetic words i’ve ever written
every fruit. ever.
goodbye :)
Rupi Kaur could fuckin never
Not kidding. This is extremely emotional.
All the fruits. *ALL OF THEM*
this is just me when my mom asks if i need anything from the store sjsjsjs
When I was 5, I “wrote” a story that I was very proud of, and asked my kindergarten teacher to read it. She sat everyone down on the carpet do so in front of the class while she sat in her rocking chair, and I stood next to her, in front of everyone. She seemed very excited to read it, and so was I. Then she opens it. Her face falls, and I get concerned. I don’t know what’s wrong. Apparently, all the “words” I had written were just scribbles. Not even illegible kindergarten-handwriting, I mean literal wavy lines. The kind you make to _imitate_ writing. I was so embarrassed, and surprised, like I didn’t know I had done that. I genuinely thought I had been writing and was shocked to see I hadn’t.
I don’t remember what the heck I thought I was writing, but I do remember it was on a hot pink sticky-note pad and had at least one drawing of a horse.
Aw that's kind of adorable in a sense - kids sometimes don't know the difference between pretending to do something and actually doing it.
My little cousin used to bring us papers where he'd written a bunch of letters in a row (he knew some letters, but didn't know how to spell), and he'd ask us to read them to him. I think he thought he might have actually written something, but he needed us know what he'd written.
My older cousin (probably about 6 or 7 years old) dutifully read out every line for him no matter how many times he asked, phonetically. Even though it was all nonsense. XD
Clearly your story was a memetic anomaly.
that's actually so adorable
@@Jupiter-T My little sister would write like that. She only knew v, i, and o, because those were in her name, and some of the v's looked like u's, so many of her notebooks were filled with "viovio vi vio uivuio vuioio vio"
I used to do that all the time and get mad when people couldn't read it, but when asked what is says I wouldn't be able to remember
"A BOOK OF LOVELY MEN ON HOLIDAY" gives similar energy as Lilo taking photos of tourist
That's adorable
That’s what I thought of too!
some of these give so much lilo energy tbh
Exactly what I was thinking. That book literally feels like a conversation from the movie.
@@rubolph1954literally.
"Im going to die, im going to die!"
- 🦀
"I'm going to die, I'm going to die," the crab said calmly. "-I've lost my leg."
*_c r a b_*
@@dumaass _"Potter, " Dumbledore said calmly, "I'm going to die, I'm going to die. -- I've lost my leg."_
Why did they skip that in the movie adaptation!?!?
darn, i was gonna make that refferance first@@VkngVd
it sounds like a line from jevil 💀
When I visited my old home I saw a book I wrote when I was 6/7 and I saw in my terrible childish handwriting that still hasn’t changed yet:
“Horrid Henry is armed and ready”
Aged well
That sentence reminds me of my brother
Perfect Peter? Is that you?
When I was 8, I wrote a story about a unicorn called Dave who discovers his German teacher is an ex meth dealer 💀
Ah, the mysteries of the child mind
Please publish this story
I was first your inferior to me💀
YOU WHAT
Sounds like a bestseller!
A Book of Lovely Men on Holiday is ICONIC
Things to look for...
Youth
Blond or black hair
Lovely eyes and smile
Quite slim
Not very hairy
All equals........
Good looks!
Things to NOT look for!…
Stupid shades
Stupid T-shirt (sexy doughnuts)
Stupid hat
All equals……….
STUPID MAN!
@@Jacob_was_hereThings to NOT look for…
Stupid shades
Stupid T-shirt (sexy doughnuts)
Stupid hat
All equals……..
STUPID MAN!
Could ‘t agree more 😂😂
a horrible meal
When I was pretty little, my Grandma made up these stories about a character called Sammy Seagull for me. There was a LOT of lore, including immortality orange juice (of my invention) and Sammy’s delinquent, dumpster-diving cousin, Lester. When we went to their vacation house together in the summer for a bit every year, I sometimes got to help make up the stories. And one time, when we had gone home for the summer and they hadn’t yet, I decided to make a Sammy Seagull story all by myself for her, maybe as a surprise (I don’t remember). I wrote it in a Disney notebook, and it’s still in the basement to this day. It’s only a page long, and in it, Sammy, his wife, Shelly, and probably some of their children go to rescue some seagulls from this monster. Pretty standard stuff, right? But when they get to where the monster is, the seagulls have already been eaten, so they just hold a memorial service. THAT’S HOW IT ENDS. I quite literally couldn’t hurt a fly as a child, I do not know where this came from, but I think about it at least once a month
I wrote a story called "Toad in Jail" when I was like 8. Its a picture book with Toad from Super Mario having a bunch of dead bodies in his house. And then the whole fucking government shows up with a swat team. And he gets thrown in a jail cell. Yeah I started medications at 9 if you were wondering
Life update: I was admitted for a week
@@Skarfeetoad has gone mD
Life update 2: Addmited again
hope you dont get admitted anymore, hadn't heard good things about it
@@mellow_mallow I love being admitted/s
In the seventh grade, I began a story like this:
"He opened the door and saw a bright light..."
"It was the sun."
Sounds like a line you would see in The City of Ember series
Better than the headlight of an oncoming train honestly
See also: Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride
That happens to me sometimes too
Edit: I have no idea what I meant by this
Reminds me of that one two sentence horror
You subverted my expectations more than Hollywood has for the past 10 years
When I was 5, I was terrified of the thought of being alive after my parents were dead. My solution? I essentially invented the suicide pact
saaame omg. sorry you had such terrible thoughts.
honestly same 💀
I remember when I was a lot younger and my autism was still undiagnosed I wrote a story in one of my journals about a little girl (definitely not me) who was “socially disabled” and everyone hated her and I think the story ended with her dying alone but I don’t remember.
Anyway that was interesting to find a decade later 😅
@@kaleenar963 I remember finding a note written by me (I don’t know how old I was) saying: “I am socially constipated”
@@oliverkey1435 That’s a much funnier way of putting it 😂
When I was 7, me and my sister sang something called The Toilet Song that we made up. If went like this:
"Standing on the toilet"
"Nice and tall"
"Dancing on the toilet"
"Nice and tall"
"And then you fall in"
"SPLASH"
"Splash"
"splash"
So you technically made “Sittin’ On The Toliet?” 😂
I’m a teacher and one of my first grade girls came up to me and said, “I drew me as a princess” and pointed to her drawing of a fish.
*F I S H*
When I was very young I made my gran a Mother's day card saying simply: "It is today"
Clearly I was a very affectionate child
HELP MEEE OMG 😭😭😭
i am happy to inform you that it is infact still today
Bro ehy js this so funny XDDDD
Sounds like a lot of autistic kids I've met who don't understand how to convey emotions yet. Statements of fact work better. Source: me being an autistic kid who also did this shit
@@Som_Guy back then, "today" wasn't today. it was back then today, but "back then" back then isn't back then today
Slightly more than disappointed Matt didn’t include a picture of himself as a lovely man on holiday. Probably eats eyeballs tbh (horrible meal)
"mean, mean
like an evil machine"
sounds like a sick lyric
that part played right as I read this
I drew a grave on my grandmas card and wrote "when are you going to die?"
3:48 the most calm skull emoji I've ever heard from Matt
frfr
I read this just when it said skull emoji
Honestly, 💀
"Skullemoji 😌"
He’s just trying not to be negative.
💀💀
I had to write a fact book about lions in class once when i was 6 or 7. I spelt lions as "Loins". Example of this was "A lot of male loins have lots of hair, it is called a mane"
I'm sure you made your teacher's day😂 That's the kind of thing they save to share at the yearly holiday party
when I was a kid I found a vhs tape at our house labeled "The Loin King" and when I asked to watch it my mom had to explain that it wasn't the movie I thought it was. all I knew was that a loin was a body part so I asked if it was a horror movie and she said yes. I imagine she gave my dad a talking to later about leaving his porn sitting out
@@ActionYakPolice tbf it definitely WOULD be a horror movie to you if it was home-made
@@ActionYakPolice I cannot imagine leaving out porn when you have kids, but specifically ones with names based on Disney movies are so risky jfc
That sounds like something Sally Brown from Peanuts would write if Schultz wanted to be a bit edgier.
when I was like 5 I read a book called walk two moons (excellent book btw) but the main character got into an argument with someone and she drew a picture of them hanging by a noose in a tree, which started the most demented habit of mine that got me psychologically evaluated at 8 after my mom found a box of like 3 notebooks full of drawings of people hanging in trees 💀
Can we see the notebooks
"Dear Jonas Brothers, I have some quesgens". Monday - rock n' roll day😅😅😅.
I don't have any old letters I wrote in my younger years.
Children always have an element of being completely unhinged in some way, shape or form 😂
yes!!! I recently found a story i wrote when i was like 7 and it was literally just “this is puffer and his pet.
he puts his pet in a spaceship.
the pet died.
the end.”
They haven't been installed in a frame yet.
@@lemagicbaguette1917🤔 🚪
When I was a kid I had a comic called “swearing giraffe”
It’s all in the title
That surely sold like donuts among the other children
I read that like 3 times and only now realized that it in fact says "swearing" and not "sweating" lol
Imagining that it was one panel of a giraffe saying f*** has absolutely killed me. Thank you
get vivzie on this script
this is like the most awesome thing ive heard today
How do 8/9 year olds write so detailed and skilled stories with better handwriting than me?
I wrote a short story in class when I was seven. I asked my mum a few months ago to look through my old school stuff for me and she came across it. What stuck out to me was the misspelling of furious as throrrelas and the fact that the baddie, a fox, "split himself in two" in anger when his prisoner escaped
That's how Rumpelstiltskin ends, so it could well have come from that
Mitosis
I once wrote an entire fanfiction about digimon fighting WWE wrestlers. I was a strange child.
I'd read that.
Interesting. Most people who would give WWE wrestlers fantasy crossover companions would choose Pokémon; they’re much easier to match to a character gimmick, like Gym Leaders.
That sounds fucking amazing though
Nah that's based af I would totally read that
You were an awesome child
proudly announced Ireland is my favorite US state at the ripe age of 13
England is my city
The timeline when the time traveler kicks a rock
Hey if that means I get to go there without a passport works for me I hear the scenery is lovely there.
I thought USA were some isles in the west and England was a continent in the further west
Lollll
One of my favorite ways to entertain myself in elementary school was to create stories in Google Slides that were 70% or more imagery. And when I wasn’t using the shape tools to draw stick figures, iPads cosplaying as iPhones, and horrifically misshapen dogs, I was collecting my imagery from Google Images. As a result, many of the images I found were either abysmal resolution, or had white backgrounds on them. But I never bothered to find better images.
Unironically one of the funniest images I have ever created comes from one such powerpoint, and it’s funny for all the wrong reasons. Imagine, if you will, a crunchy, stretched JPEG of Squidward Tentacles, with two high-resolution tennis ball PNGs with white backgrounds pasted over his eyes. The cherry on top: the words "TENNIS BALLS" plastered in black Arial across poor Squidward’s forehead.
2:37 op hates it? Those were the most fire bars I've heard all day!
ikr /srs
when I was 8 or 9 I wrote a story about a half man, half chicken hybrid. He was gifted a chicken as a pet but ended up marrying her instead. Truly a literary masterpiece. It was illustrated too
I... 😰
"I must survive on the fringes of society, neither man nor chicken! Something in between, a ... a chickeny man!"
was his lower torso chicken or upper torso/head because that completely changes how i feel about this
Alrighty then.
Omg, we really need a book of stories written by children. This is gold! 😂
8:05 That's a pretty solid Joker laugh, I won't lie.
frfr
Feel good
I love you. HAHAHAHAHAAaa *high pitched*
fr
I had the same thought! It's right on parr with Mark Hamill's laughs!
When I was about 9 I wrote a murder mystery with donuts, and a fight between snoopy and the red barren. Both got 100s. I’ve always been a good writer with execution, but the plot has always been chaotic. I guess nothing has changed eh?
As a child, I began to write a story called "Wow, a 50 Foot Cow!" and all of the stories on here made me think of it. I also wrote a book about a group of mice and rats who were friends and lived in the same apartment building and one went missing. I named some of the rats and mice after nicknames my brothers gave each other and me, and also our goldfish who was called "Big Pappa". I need to find those one day, they're probably hilarious
"(a ghost is a dead person)"
I find it far more amusing than I should that they felt this important enough to make sure we were clear on.
5:10 as an African, I can 100% verify this. The rest of the day they left out is mostly rebuilding the house and getting chemo
when does the rising from the dead happen? lol
@@blizzard_the_seal9863at 13pm
@@blizzard_the_seal9863 usually around 9 o’clock
Source: am of african decent
My parents won't let me forget the time my Brownie pack got a letter from HRH D&D of Cambridge for sending in some cards for the royal wedding, and I was SO jealous that I didn't get to marry Prince William and become a Princess that I SCRIBBLED OUT PRINCESS KATE'S NAME 😂💀
we have to appreciate Matt for learning an entire fucking instrument for this video
About a month ago I found a story book I wrote for my sister when I was 10. It was about a giraffe named George who sold every kind of gun in the world and one day a glue gun malfunctioned and shot him in the neck which made his neck permanently stuck in a squiggly shape. The other giraffes bullied his so relentlessly for it that he moved away and joined the circus.
The best part is that I was severely dyslexic as a child, so I spelled 'giraffe' differently every single time I wrote it. The book's title read "Gorge the Genrare" and the following are all of my attempt as spelling giraffe: Genrare, Genraf, Grafe.
😂😂
LMAO
Well I once wrote a story (age 5-6) about “Bab the plecmn”. Took now-me a week and three illustrations of a man wearing blue to figure out that- _oh!,_ Bob is a _policeman…_
@@bookwormat5418lol
LMAO
A few years ago, my mom found a poem I wrote when I was younger. It was:
Nine little birdies,
Flying in the sky.
One fell down,
And broke its thigh
do birds even have thighs?
@@goofyicerink9560pretty sure they do
Sounds like it would be a funny rhyme like 10 little monkeys jumping on the bed.
@@goofyicerink9560What, you never had bird thighs before?
Why isn’t this a nursery rhyme? I would have listened to it as a little kid
Matt never disappoints...unless you're my lungs desperate for air as I laugh like a complete doofus.
*I remember when I was elementary school, I wrote a series of stories of me going through time in a time machine and in one of the stories I knocked on a door to a house and whoever should open it but BENJAMIN HARRISON! I got so excited at meeting him that I fainted. Can't remember what else I wrote in my adventures, but I remember that particular event.*
These stories needs to be published
When I was 4 years old I wrote a story called “Do you have money at your house” and it was about a kid that got a penny from doing chores, and decided to go around town and brag to everyone about his money by laughing hysterically in their faces when they said that they didn’t. Then everyone calls the boys mother and tells him what he did and the mom wrote all over the penny so that he couldn’t use it anymore.
Truly peak fiction.
honestly that sounds like it could be a great fable
it actually does sound like a story I'd come across in a book like that
The only thing this story lacks to be accepted into Struwwelpeter is sadism
You have great imagination when you were a 4-year-old
@@10-year-oldcalculus19 I would draw a bunch of pictures and then take photos of them with my dads camera and then he would combine them and I would voice over them in Adobe Aftereffects. Then we would burn it into a disc. I have a ton of movie that I made.
You wrote a modern fable
I recently moved and someone that was purchasing one of our old fancy bookshelves lifted it up to see a note underneath from who knows how long ago that just simply said, "you smell."
The Penguin pfp adds depth to this
When we were cleaning out one of the barns on my grandpa’s family farm that’s straight up older than the country we live in there was a message written on the wall dated 1909 that just said, “John was here” lol.
4:08 i nearly died of laughter man jesus fucking christ, the delivery is so bloody brilliant, the voice with which you read "notes to self", the few seconds pause during which i started to hypothesise what could be there, and just as soon as i thought that it being blank would be fucking hilarious, you reveal that this shit is actually a blank page, i am so bloody glad that i watched it not during the night cuz all the neighbours would have been pissed for all the laughter noise and my flatmate would have strangled me in my sleep and shat on my chest
6:20 makes me feel uncomfortable
I had a paper saying “To eliminate all flesh” with a drawing with a rainbow.
I have never seen it since.
W H A T 😀
Are you an AI that was sent to destroy all organic matter? lol Feels like kid you was controlled by some AI program or something. xD
@@ReptilianTeaDrinker well, idk
40k mechanicus:
Bro is the Omnissiah
When I was a kid, I wrote a story about a crow that refused to migrate during the winter, he almost froze to death, and a kindly family took him into their home and saved his life. My sister read the story and said, “Crows don’t migrate.”
Some species of crows do migrate, so you weren't actually wrong.
@@Keznen
🫢 Silly six-year-old me. I should have specified which species of crow. 💀
Thanks for the heads-up for the next time I write a story about crows. 👍
Was it an African or a European crow?
@@vespurrsI also wonder how many coconut they can carry...
@@autonomouscollective2599 No need. It was your sister who was incorrect. lol
I keep all my old notebooks, so I have drawings and notes all the way back to kindergarten. Every once in a while I look through them for nostalgia or a laugh, one of my favorites being a page of "Good behavior my dogs did today", one side is full of nice things that one dog did, and the other side for the other dog is just empty.
4:33 Including your own tweet in this is crazy
I think you forgot to add cool to the end of your comment
random but i wrote "take your BOOB off." in a sketch book one night and a few months later i found it and started crying
mastectomy
What's really effed up is how many are doing exactly that, completely unaware of how very much they'll regret it....😢😢😢
god i WISH i could take my BOOB off....
@@katie7748 what if the world was made of pudding
@@katie7748 I take my boob off in the morning, put it back on in the eve
A BOOK OF LOVELY MEN ON HOLIDAY 🕺🏼🌴
📷📸📷📸📷📸📷📸
My favourite part tbh, it's so deranged but sweet!
@@kawaiilotusthat’s my fav part too
Little-kid-me knew early on that I wanted to be a writer. However, she wrote a confusingly wholesome story about a pony, and I refused to believe it was written by me.....until it got to the very last page, in which the pony's owner (some random little girl) was killed off by a vampire.
Addendum: Aside from another story (which was about a girl having to go buy magical sugar for a healing tea, when some animal person she was friends with got sick), I continued trying to make sense of what else I wanted to write. Didn't realize until I started hitting double digit age that half of what I had been writing was fan fiction...
that is so funny
I am confused. Who is "she"? Are you talking about yourself in 3rd person??
"A book of lovely men on holiday" XD
Also the way you sang that God's cool song reminded me so much of that South Park episode with Cartman trying to win the Christian album award. XD
I found an old diary once from when I was in third grade. The entry for May 22, 2015 simply read: “I am bored. I will name this day Meat Shank Mind Day.” I cannot stop thinking about this.
Adding this day to my calendar
I used to make up holidays, and one was Kimploni on January 14. It was a holiday celebrating shrimp and fish, where people would thank them for being delicious ingredients for food, or, and I quote, “kiss fishbowls with their pet fish.” As far as I know, “Kimploni” is not a real word.
Two days until Meat Shank Mind Day!
@@Mizu2023 You sure? Meat Shank Mind Day is 22nd May. Wish it was in two days though, personally can't wait
Can't wait for Meat Shank Mind Day!
In grade 5, I had to write a report about King George III of England. I mentioned that he was formerly “Prince of Whales.” My mother never let me live that one down.
King George III (formerly known as Moby Dick)
He, in fact, HATED John Adams.
"To Nanny: I love you, you know that."
*AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*
I have some old elementary school notebooks where little me wrote about slaughtering pigs, a robe that's red like the blood of my enemies, and worst of all, a drawing of a little bird-man named "kink"
When I was like 8, I made a story about a Japanese girl who once tortured her friends, and to become a better person she had to wear a magical kimono from what I remember.
I'd read that
Interesting
pitch it to studio ghibli
Sounds like a manga I'd have read in high school
Interesting plot... I'd read that.
I attempted to write an autobiography when I was seven. At that age, I really didn't any life experiences to write about, but I have saved the title should I write an autobiography as an adult: "My Damn Life."
I mean you have to write it now, that's a kickass title
I once tried to write a short story about a stray dog we had found on the trail near our house. I drew a colorful dog portrait on the cover and then wrote this:
Once
(And that was it, I got ONE word in before either getting distracted and forgetting about it or giving up lol)
3:22 The peak of theist music
I wrote this Masterpiece about 6 years ago:
The silver river
Is always calm and tranquil
Then some one falls in
That’s actually kinda fire ngl
A haiku
I love that it's actually a good idea well constructed and mostly executed just fine, and then, suddenly, there's the weirdly mundane and clunky phrasing of that last line. It's like a dancer coming up with a nice choreography, performing it quite well most of the way, and then just walking to the final spot.
I like it.
Your younger self recreated probably the seminal haiku by the master himself, Matsuo Basho, presumably on accident - take pride in that!!
When I was a kid, me and the neighbor kid started a "band", and since we were big fans of Kiss, well, we called ourselves... Kiss. We pretended to be Kiss, I guess. I distinctly remember the lyrics (we only wrote a bunch of lyrics, of course neither of us could play instruments at the time) to a song called "Bombing Houses". It went as follows. Ahem.
"Bombing houses, it's not so fun because it's just my dad who says I should bomb houses
But now it's time for me to leave and never see him again, yeah!"
That was the whole song. Absolute masterpiece if I say so myself.
sounds kinda punk tbh
Was your dad an exterminator😂😂
Sounds like anti-war commentary
"Moj je Tata zločinac iz rata".🤪
This reminds me of the fact that my brother used to ask the most incredible questions when he was a kid, including
"Do cats drink coconut milk?"
"When a baby's born, how will the mummy know what the baby's wearing?"
And "How did Diesel (our dog) get the holes in his nose? You know, the ones where he breathes?"
There was also this line of thought
"Why can't birds fly underwater? Maybe they can, and you just can't see them. Unless you're in a submarine. But it doesn't have any windows so you still couldn't see them. [long pause] Do submarines have windows?"
tell me why those poems were actually quite good
8:36 THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER OH MY GOD IM DYING
SAME 8:38
“Ten one oh eight… you were being mean to mean in the morning, mean mean mean, like a evil machine.” I even thought about it in math class and I tried not to laugh like some weirdo.
💀
When I was like 10 I got a story published on the school newspaper. It was something like this:
There was a frog that didn't eat flies and a fly that didn't eat poop. The other frogs and flies hated them. So they went to China and ate vegetables with chopsticks.
-The end.
And that was the creative peak of my life.
Genius
Distinguished gentlemen
When I was 6 I made a book “series” where each book was just one of those stapled-together folded book things. I spent a lot of effort on the covers.
They are all completely blank.
9:12 *GO* is such a mood tho
I had a journal when I was probably 6 or 7… There was one page dramatically titled, “Secrets We Shouldn’t Know.” The only item on there was “tic-tacs.”
but whats the secret. i wanna know
@@thirstystic tacs
When I was 12, I basically wrote a crack-fic involving Audrey Hepburn, Barney the Dinosaur, Snoopy, and Bill Nye the Science Guy. In this story, Ms. Hepburn and Barney are a couple. Bill Nye and Morgan Freeman bond over a shared love for science, become besties, prance around Morgan’s apartment in tutus and watch Titanic together. And it all ends with everyone traveling to Australia where Bill becomes apart of The Society of “The” Names (other members include Larry the Cable Guy, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Bindi the Jungle Girl) and all of them singing “Africa” by Toto (Note: this story was written 5 years before that song became a meme).
Sounds up to date. And real.
This is the funniest, crack-headed thing I've ever read 😂
This needs to be published… also was Bob the Builder in the society of “the” names?
@@NotUselessProductions Yes, he was.
But weirdly enough, Barney doesn’t qualify, as “Barney the Dinosaur” isn’t his legal name. Just Barney.
@@NotUselessProductions That’s a pretty good idea! I wonder if I could find it…
When i was eight, I made cards, containing very vulgar drawings and text, with names such as "I will summon an ancient Egyptian God to eat your pancreas". I made this kind of thing into a FIFTY-SIX PART SERIES.
Edit: That was during the summer holidays after I had finished year 3, and when we started year 4, we had to write a short story about kids going to a summer camp. I made mine about one of the waitresses putting the kids one by one in a meat grinder and serving their corpses in burgers. The head mistress suspended me for that.
Are there any left?
I'd read those ngl.
Little-kid-me was just ASPIRING to be you! 😆
@@Muchacho1994 i still have about 9
That reminds of a comic series me and my friend made called Crowbar Tales. We would take turns drawing them and pass them to each other in class. There were two rules to make one though, there had to be a crowbar or a play on words involving crowbars and the second rule was someone had to die a violent and gory death.
8:38 I ALWAYS THINK ABOUT THIS LIKE LMAO THE WAY HE SAID IT HELPPPP 💀
I subscribed for the Chicago dialect. 👌👌👌 Also, I really love the mean evil machine poem.
Cursed story written by 5-year-old me:
“Once upon a time there was a plant and a tree. Then a wizard came and turned them into a boy rabbit and a girl rabbit. They went to their lands, and suddenly they met up again. Then another wicked wizard came and he turned the boy rabbit into a bad rabbit who turned the girl rabbit into a dead rabbit, and she was dead forever. THE END.”
The worst part is this was five year old me’s DREAM 💀
This is basically what myths are like
@@paigeepler”It was revealed to me in a dream.”
Giving me watership down vibes lol
about 15 years ago, the author Michael Kelly wrote a wonderful article about his early attempt at a spy novel (written at the age of 8) that he'd recently rediscovered
he's the man behind behind "My Godawful Life" and the stories about Roy Orbison wrapped in clingfilm; the article is called "The Spy Who Borrowed My Car"
some highlights -
* instead of "he said", the younger Kelly preferred to use the construction "qoute he" (misspelling both "quote" and the word he meant, which was "quoth")
* the main character, a James Bond or Simon Templar-like secret agent called Brendan Abraham, claims to have seen combat in Northern Ireland, Newcastle and the Lake District
* a good 10% of the book is the main character arranging to borrow other people's cars, as he doesn't have one himself
* and this sentence cracked me up: "At one point the confusion reaches new heights with the appearance of a couple of murderous drug-smuggling villains with the not-quite-sinister names of Boris Hampshire and Brian Simon Whitmore."
Amazing
Thank you, I'll try to find it. Seems epic :-)
You've clearly never been in Newcastle City center after 5pm on a Saturday night 😂
@@emmahealy4863 in the author's own words, "In fairness to my juvenile self, this would have been pre-urban-regeneration Newcastle [ca. 1978], and as for the Lake District... mountain country. Bandits. The thing is I've always been a stay-at-home type and tend to regard anywhere more than a few miles from where I live as fraught with peril. "
Lmao thanks for reminding me about the Roy Orbison In Clingfilm guy, I haven’t thought about that nonsense in years
I made absolutely unhinged comics when i was little and still have all of them and keeping them was the best decision of my life bc they’re so funny
The creepy story ones like "The shape-changer" sound like the kind of thing that would be in some kind of analogue horror series where it turns out they were visited by entities that are ancient and incomprehensible.
The Thing
I wrote a story when I was like ~8-10 about a wasp that really wanted to be a bee (because everybody hates wasps but bees are useful and widely loved). Then a good fairy appears and tells her that she can grant her that wish, but she needs to really consider it carefully because unlike wasps, bees die when they sting someone. The wasp is like that's fine, I still want it, so the fairy turns her into a bee. The (now) bee is thrilled, she flies around, makes honey and all that happy bee stuff, BUT THEN something happens, I don't remember if she's reckless and gets too close to a human or if it's a complete coincidence, but basically she's about to be hit or squished by a person and out of instinct and habit, she stings... and dies.
The end...
Idk what the moral was supposed to be... Be(e) yourself and don't try to be someone you're not...? I'd love to know how I came up with it lol
Sounds like it could be a real fable.
That's actually really good tbh
@@cherrycola958 Thank you haha. I have to find that story to remind myself what exactly happened, I hope I can find it somewhere.
Fun fact, Bee stingers are designed for smaller insects and not large thick skin of mammals. A bee stinging another insect means they can pull it back out and be perfectly fine, but when stinging a human, trying to get it out is a pain, so they end up ripping off a part of their backside when they try to pull out. That's what kills them. However, if a bee is smart enough (and the human doesn't immediately smack them), a bee can carefully rotate and get it's stinger out from human skin safely. There are videos of this. (And it's better since it doesn't leave any swelling)
Just a little fun fact.
@@DoctorTex Oh that's cool to know! Thanks for sharing.
My older sister once found a paper plate with a crayon drawing of a watermelon on it that read “Melon of the ocean” and to this day we don’t know where is came from because we don’t even use paper plates.
Melon in the ocean
I used to be an adventurer until the shape-changer moved my eyes to my knees.
I used to be obsessed with ancient Egypt when I was 8 and I recently found my old drawing of my “ancient Egypt fursona" (that's probably the best way I can describe it) from like 2010 😭😭 no wonder I was getting bullied at school
when I was like 12 I wrote a story about a kid who is with his friend in a crowd, they get separated, and he later sees his friend with a clone of himself. He eventually convinces his friend he’s the real one and they shoot the clone but later he finds out he was the clone and gets survivors guilt over having killed the original and replaced him
... Were you okay
@@mushroomeep684 i think so, i think it was just a cool story they thought up. i don't think anyone would've asked that question if it was an adult who wrote it
Goosebumps ass story
@@mushroomeep684 no
In my second grade class, we were assigned to write something cool about being in nature. I wrote "if you die in the woods, you'll get eaten by a turkey vulture". The teacher got mad but I still think that's pretty cool.
I think that's cool.
Sounds like your teacher was just lame and uncreative. Being part of the life cycle is very cool.
You understood the purpose of scavengers. Very cool
Teachers really love getting mad at kids for flawlessly following instructions, huh?
Hey, be glad it's a turkey vulture and not a thunderbird!
that Africa poem was something else
When I was 3, I once filled a 100-page notebook with an epic story called "Smelly Camel Poo". Which was literally about camels travelling across the world - and taking shits.
LMAO
Peak fiction
this is some shit freud would write about lmao
When I was like, 6, I had a "book series", I wrote/drew called "Super Dog". About a 2-inch-tall dog with super powers who defended the world from evil (usually giant animals) One story I was fond of re-making ended with our titular hero stabbing a snake to death with his Wolverine Claws, including a lovely illustration of the snake bleeding to death. Another favorite of mine ended with an evil witch being boiled alive.
The villains who didn't meet a grisly end were a dog-cat hybrid who turned evil after being cast out by society, an evil cat who wanted to just cause destruction, and an evil dog with whom he would often team up with, fittingly named "Villain Cat", "Villain Dog", and "Evil Cat Dog", respectively.
Recurring characters included such emotionally compelling individuals like: Power Pup, Super Dog's 5-year-old sister who snuck out with him on dangerous missions; Super Cat and Cat Kid, basically just Super Dog and Power Pup but genderbent and cats, friendly rivals to the main heroes; Fish-dog, a dog with a fish tail instead of a dog tail who was born as a tadpole with dog ears to two normal dog parents before undergoing a metamorphosis, she was the main love interest; and the townspeople, distinguishable only by the color of their fur: Pink Dog, Yellow Dog, Red Dog, Blue Dog, Green Dog, Purple Dog, Teal Dog, Light Blue Dog, White Dog, and Mayor Black Dog.
Idk about you guys, but I think 6-year-old me was onto something, this may be the next MCU.
I WANT THIS TO BE A REAL BOOK BRB IM GUNNA WRITE IT SEE YA IN A YEAR
@@axo677 I actually am working on a "modern" re-make. I genuinely think the idea has potential, in the same way Captain Underpants and Dog Man work.
@TheGoldfishArmy OMG you read those too? Awesome!
We need more lore
@bashydaggett You want lore? I can give you lore.
This population of miniscule canines lived on an isolated island in the East China Sea, which was a former colony of a greater tiny dog empire until their ancestors declared Independence and had a Revolutionary War (I was writing these around the time I learned about the American Revolution from watching Schoolhouse Rock). Little Jack (aka Super Dog), was a direct descendant of one of this tiny dog nation's founders and was named after his great-great-great-etc grandfather.
The island had a Capital City called Dogtown, where the stories took place. A distinctive feautre of Downtown Dogtown is that all the "skyscrapers" were topped with animal ears, inspired by the antennae of the Sears and John Hancock towers of my then hometown of Chicago. Hidden somewhere in Dogtown was a portal to my backyard (Super Dog was my imaginary friend for a brief period of time and this was my explaination for how he got to my place). Theoretically, a human could enter the portal, but they would have to be careful not to trample the micro-sized civilization on the other side.
There's more original lore beyond that, but I can't remember it off the top of my head so I'd have to dig out the few surviving copies of the "books" to elaborate further.
the quiet soft skull emoji at 3:48 is brilliantly crafted.
Reminds me of when i drew almost every frame from this ms paint pingu animated video i saw on UA-cam where Robby killed Pingu by using his tongue to take his eyeball out, i guess cut his arm and collected his blood in a cup and drank it before shooting him...
I was maybe 6-7 years old??
Unsupervised internet access in the early 2000s really was a mad time.
5:43: My dog sits at the window... "and watches the wind go by"
Boy, that wind sure is a sight to behold
“Is he thinking about his past?”
That went deep-
It fucking WIMDY
You know, that is a very dog thing to do
@@midnight4685as a person with a dog, this is true.
0:44 *brought to you by Pepsi*
Pepsi's marketing truly is a force of nature
@@camicus-3249see also: critical reviews of “We Are The World” comparing the lyrics to contemporary Pepsi advertising
INSTITUTION!
Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the dead
😂 I think this is the first UA-cam video that made me actually cry laughing. I have to stop watching these and get back to work!
When I was a kid, I wrote a short story about a blue monkey detective who solves a murder. Unfortunately, the story was lost to time. I can only imagine the train wreck it once was given my struggles with all things language arts growing up.
Not sure that it really counts for this kind of thing, but I have a Halloween activity book from when I was young in which it said “draw some turrets on the castle.” At the time I did not know what turrets were and apparently thought it said TURTLES. so I drew several orange turtles roaming the castle walls and didn’t think twice about it
is ur pfp solangelo?!? 👀👀👀
Portal turrets storm the castle
I still vividly remember 4 year old me drawing in my room the most DRAMATIC and disturbing visual story about the different ways 6 people died. I can recall drawing the ghosts of each one where they presumably died, one being on a mountain where they were killed while mountain climbing… and in the middle of the drawing was a group of family members mourning each persons death…
I think the only reason I can still remember this 12 years on is because of the horrified look my mum gave me when I stupidly showed it to her after I drew it. Must have thought I was being possessed by a demon.
In kindergarten i used to make "books" it was two pieces of paper folded and stapled together. One of them was about christmas and it had santa clause and said "im coming for you!!" And now im afraid of my 6 year old self
I remember making this story when I was 10 about a unicorn in "Candyland" and an evil cloud destroyed the Candyland and the Unicorn used it's magical powers to defeat the cloud and the Candyland went back to normal and there was also a giant hole from the battle and they never fixed that.
I always forget its monday 🗿
Best monday ever in my opinion
Matt makes every Monday better
@@pemanilnoob indeed
@@pemanilnoobAgreed
IT'S ROCK AND ROLL DAY!!!!
@@Spongyboi897 ROCK N ROOOOOOOLLLLLLLL