Silencing A Critical Parent | The Mel Robbins Show

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  • Опубліковано 7 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 146

  • @thehoneyeffect
    @thehoneyeffect 4 роки тому +80

    Whether your mum is a narcissist or not, know that she will never change.
    You can only ever change yourself, its time to move on.

  • @janniejeanjellybean3803
    @janniejeanjellybean3803 4 роки тому +118

    You can’t change your Mom.
    But can always change your Job.

    • @janniejeanjellybean3803
      @janniejeanjellybean3803 3 роки тому +2

      @Connie H oh Lordy~
      My mother is the worlds
      Greatest MicoManger
      Among Many other umm
      Let’s say qualities....
      Im her only daughter.
      She’s 90 now and guess who takes care of her?
      She’s my mom.
      Kids have got to grow up. Learn how to cope with life.
      When you stop blaming others for your situation
      It opens up a whole new world of possibilities

  • @inge5627
    @inge5627 4 роки тому +62

    And one child is the scapegoat and the other is the goldenchild. Conquer and devide

  • @susancrook7920
    @susancrook7920 4 роки тому +48

    I have compassion for the mother, but that doesn’t mean the girls should stick with their mother’s business. They need to disentangle themselves from the business and see if they can get their mother/daughter relationship in order.

  • @godleads1
    @godleads1 2 роки тому +16

    The mom started to cry when talking about her sad incident in the past but remained emotionless face the whole time her children trying so hard to make their point across.

  • @christine99
    @christine99 4 роки тому +39

    Mel handled this very well.
    I hope the mother decides to see a therapist. It would be best for the whole family for her to identify her abusive patterns, to work through her traumatic past.

  • @morningglory3644
    @morningglory3644 4 роки тому +29

    The mom is a perfectionist. She wants everything to be perfect...to the point of being overly critical and super judgmental. I agree that she does this subconsciously, and she is coming from a place of insecurity and unhealed trauma. I think she is so afraid of looking bad in front of people and looking like she failed as a mother. I also believe that a mother that doesn't know how to love herself unconditionally would not know how to love her daughters unconditionally. She doesn't recognize the hurt and pain she inflicts on her daughters because she can only see her own pain.
    I do applaud them for being able to talk this through in a civil manner and to be able to process their emotions and communicate effectively with one another!!!

    • @shahilagh
      @shahilagh Рік тому

      But perfect is different in ppl eyes I like simplicity

  • @candygirl1990
    @candygirl1990 Рік тому +8

    My mother never stops criticizing me, so I have to stay away from her. She is affecting my little girl too, she doesn't like being around her, because she sees what my mum is really like. I'm done with my mum, I can't deal with her criticism anymore ❤

    • @sbfabtfc1
      @sbfabtfc1 6 місяців тому +1

      Keep your child away from her, because she will do the same thing to your child that she did to you. I can tell you from personal experience that such a parent will go to their grave thinking they never did anything wrong.

  • @maepeterson7197
    @maepeterson7197 4 роки тому +12

    Omg. “I vow to be supportive in a way that empowers you” EVERY CHILD NEEDS THIS 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @nowpresent2167
    @nowpresent2167 4 роки тому +16

    The daughter lost her financial independence,lost the much needed distancing from the toxic family dynamics. Daughter is an empath, people pleaser,co dependent due to the childhood environment created by her parents. Howmuchever the daughter wants to feel the love she desperately is trying to get from mom since childhood is never coming!(unless mom goes into therapy and be a wholesome soul,till then the children get working on positive psychological services)! Hope she realises the most important thing is self love.

  • @ERNIE555
    @ERNIE555 4 роки тому +53

    Get yourself another job!

  • @jacobsabrina74
    @jacobsabrina74 4 роки тому +49

    Yeah, she's not going to change. Both daughters need new jobs before she finishes them off.

  • @dtown2816
    @dtown2816 Рік тому +9

    She’s dumping her trauma on her daughters. She hasn’t “let it go” or moved on. She needs to face what happened to her.

  • @karenhampton1111
    @karenhampton1111 4 роки тому +27

    Lord. Let your mom run her biz by herself. Go spread your wings elsewhere. That can be very toxic to a daughter. Maybe she will miss and appreciate the authentic you and not what she trying to make you be.

  • @iStorm-my5fp
    @iStorm-my5fp 4 роки тому +12

    The mother does not look stylish enough to criticize her daughter. This is uncalled for. She is beautiful without makeup leave her alone

    • @AshleyLoiseau
      @AshleyLoiseau 2 роки тому

      This statement was uncalled for and the same compassion you have for the daughters. You have to have towards the mom to because she went through something as well

  • @sbfabtfc1
    @sbfabtfc1 6 місяців тому +1

    My accountant once said that the worst thing about a family business is the family. He said that too many people make business decisions for emotional reasons, and that is the worst possible thing one can do in a business.

  • @misosoup8
    @misosoup8 4 роки тому +67

    The whole makeup thing is dumb, she's beautiful without makeup

    • @Caprivlogs
      @Caprivlogs 4 роки тому +2

      No,she needs makeup. Stop lying

    • @mariee.5912
      @mariee.5912 4 роки тому +6

      @@Caprivlogs disagree

    • @yolylacy5416
      @yolylacy5416 4 роки тому

      Yes, she is pretty.

    • @riel8428
      @riel8428 4 роки тому +2

      @@Caprivlogs You need a muzzle.

    • @veronicapiccinini1981
      @veronicapiccinini1981 4 роки тому +2

      I don’t wear makeup, because for me it’s just a complete waste of time and unhealthy for my skin. And yet my mother always tells me I look like a corpse without it.

  • @jeanniecampbell1374
    @jeanniecampbell1374 3 роки тому +5

    I like this Mother and all it takes is honesty and communication at home first .

    • @eshore389
      @eshore389 8 місяців тому

      I agree. I think they can make their relationship work if they all try.

  • @Sallyy150
    @Sallyy150 4 роки тому +17

    Damn, pain through generations!

  • @Nicole-bs1dw
    @Nicole-bs1dw 2 роки тому +6

    NEVER DO BUSINESS WITH FAMILY!

  • @bolang6921
    @bolang6921 4 роки тому +32

    Your mom is on the cold side. You are a deeper person. She is more shallow and more preoccupied with outer appearances. She puts you down instead of admitting she is different because she is not as self-aware as you are--she does not have the capacity to go as deep as you can. Let it go. Get another job. Neither of you need your mom as much as SHE HAS MADE (OR GASLIGHTED) YOU TO BELIEVE you do. Move on.

    • @taralilarose1
      @taralilarose1 4 роки тому +3

      Wow that sounds judgmental and harsh. The Mom broke down, dropped her mask, made herself vulnerable, offered a sincere apology and vows to change and do better. I think they're all awesome and will get thru this and break the cycle of criticism and become more supportive towards each other as a result of Mel's coaching.

    • @tiffprendergast
      @tiffprendergast 3 роки тому

      Yup

  • @bananian
    @bananian 3 роки тому +9

    Wow this host is underrated. Way better than dr. Phil.

  • @reenasingh-id9zh
    @reenasingh-id9zh 3 роки тому +7

    What when parent is not that open to hear other side of the story ,atleast this mom is listening and replying calmly. Sometimes parents just keep arguing and yelling how their child are not good enough and not bothered how that makes their kid feel like

  • @saras.2173
    @saras.2173 4 роки тому +44

    Can we just appreciate that this mom-who has been publicly humiliated in front of a large group of people as a teen-voluntarily came on this show about critical parents. She received negative feedback from her daughters publicly and did not prioritize her own image or business by refusing to participate in the show.

    • @mightbegenius
      @mightbegenius 3 роки тому +10

      I lose all respect for her because she uses her humiliation as an excuse to criticize her own daughters to the point the had to take her on a show and cried on national tv.

    • @shiningjewel4034
      @shiningjewel4034 3 роки тому +4

      she just sat through public shaming number 2 gracefully.

  • @songwriterlife7777
    @songwriterlife7777 4 роки тому +16

    Change isn't something that happens over night. IDK, I would just quit lol. You literally can't work with your mom and not expect these things... I would never work with my parents for this exact reason. Or family in general.

  • @rebeccaquintana6200
    @rebeccaquintana6200 4 роки тому +9

    The daughter is amazing! Well spoken! (The first interview up)

  • @karenhampton1111
    @karenhampton1111 4 роки тому +8

    Good segment. Great for the many people who may be experiencing this issue..

  • @leaveittothediva
    @leaveittothediva 3 роки тому +5

    Oh I feel her pain. The daughter, not the mother. She's a condescending woman. Period.

  • @Loyannelima
    @Loyannelima Рік тому +2

    I think the mother should fire both daughters and separate these relationships from work definitely. She doesn't like her daughters as employees and probably is afraid to fire them and damage even more their personal relationship

  • @kaylakain6039
    @kaylakain6039 Рік тому +2

    I feel the same way am 24 and sometimes my mom wouldn’t let me do something’s or picks on me for them I take my anger and pain on other people to make myself better I been under a lot of stress lately and can’t take anymore of it so done 😢

  • @laurachase
    @laurachase 4 роки тому +5

    I think this is a very delicate matter and can’t be judged! 20 minutes are not enough time to give all parties the justice they deserve. I also think this conversation should have stayed private my heart went out to MUM when she was traumatised as a young woman by having to confess her own matters to a public that shouldn’t have been involved in her matters that is plain wrong. Especially that she was put or put herself in a similar situation on puplic tv. was really cruel to herself! Relationships are difficult you can’t solve years in 20 minutes!!!
    But I appreciate all the work you do Mel 💛

  • @gw5847
    @gw5847 4 роки тому +7

    The mother is no beauty queen except your daughter. Keri move on and live your life.

  • @joeyday576
    @joeyday576 4 роки тому +9

    If you can't get along with your family in ordinary life, you definitely shouldn't work together.

  • @maxfranklinmeans
    @maxfranklinmeans 4 роки тому +11

    MOM: Her appearance is so unprofessional...
    ME: YOU'RE unprofessional!
    Great show Mel!

    • @veronicapiccinini1981
      @veronicapiccinini1981 4 роки тому +1

      “Not wearing makeup” isn’t unprofessional.
      “Public humiliating your own daughter” IS unprofessional

    • @maxfranklinmeans
      @maxfranklinmeans 4 роки тому +1

      @@veronicapiccinini1981 I agree

  • @carmenmarquez83
    @carmenmarquez83 4 роки тому +5

    Great show, very enlightening, real life happening! Thanks for the great resiliency strategies! Thanks Mel and thanks to the participants and audience!

  • @shiningjewel4034
    @shiningjewel4034 3 роки тому +6

    WOW! These comments are brutal. What we heard was almost 15 minutes of the daughter's story and maybe 3 minutes of the mom's. Mel asked the mom to share a very personal story that still hurts today on national TV. It took courage to come to a show about being a critical mother. She obviously wants to have a good relationship with her daughters or she wouldn't be there. I hope the mom gets the healing she needs, and I hope this family is thriving today.

  • @aprilbentley8195
    @aprilbentley8195 4 роки тому +5

    From the look on the daughters faces, they did not trust that this session, nor the moms vows, had dealt with the problem. I think the girls should work on their own and just have their mom be mom. That way the girls can say what they think more effectively. This show did not jive with me like others have.

    • @amarbyrd2520
      @amarbyrd2520 Рік тому

      Mom isn't going to stop being critical just because the girls stop working for her

  • @taralilarose1
    @taralilarose1 4 роки тому +4

    Very impressive Mel! Bravo!!

  • @fricketyfracktraintrack
    @fricketyfracktraintrack Рік тому +1

    I have a critical mother and she talked about me working for her and doing all this stuff as a part-time position, but then what she explained what I would be doing, I said that sounds like a founders position. I should be getting paid as a founder. And she disagreed with me, so that, in combination with this train wreck of a video, just confirms that I will never be fucking working for her ever.

  • @tid8583
    @tid8583 3 роки тому +3

    Wow... So sad for this daughter.

  • @kaylakain6039
    @kaylakain6039 Рік тому +1

    Being the youngest person sometimes does suck am not going to lie even though my parents don’t love me and my sister more I feel like it’s a lie at times my sister got to everything sometimes and I was left in the dust battling more and more issues

  • @labridgers8264
    @labridgers8264 2 роки тому +2

    This mom does NOT look old enough to have grown daughters!

  • @Light-jc3fj
    @Light-jc3fj 3 роки тому +3

    Always about the mother...my father was much worse.

  • @BravoMentorianaAmerica
    @BravoMentorianaAmerica 3 роки тому

    Brilliant video

  • @astacy62
    @astacy62 4 роки тому +2

    That was awesome

  • @kaylakain6039
    @kaylakain6039 Рік тому

    I have low self esteem sometimes because my parents aren’t as understanding but sometimes it’s mostly my mom 😢sometimes when I ask here sometimes to do some things because am growing up she gives me a hard time and so hard head at times I feel like I can’t get a break

  • @valeriewarren9240
    @valeriewarren9240 4 роки тому +4

    Makeup is an enhancement. It brings out what is already there. It's not a necessity.

    • @veronicapiccinini1981
      @veronicapiccinini1981 4 роки тому +1

      Like “removing your glasses” doesn’t change anything of your appearance, but that’s another story

    • @tiffprendergast
      @tiffprendergast 3 роки тому

      Yup

  • @PropheticCoachTheresa
    @PropheticCoachTheresa Рік тому

    Kuddos to mom here for sharing the source of the shame she projects on her daughters. There is something there to work with when there's willingness to own her own beliefs, words and actions. However, in my opinion, don't ever.....ever.....work for a parent like this. Do NOT work for critical or judgemental parents who won't take ownership of their abuse and are willing to get professional help to grow as a person. Unless you absolutely have to ask them for help, temporarily, just do not do it. The stress is so not worth it. I have a very critical, jugdmental mother who takes zero, actually zero, accountability for her beliefs, words and actions. She is almost 80 now so add in early dementia (memory) and it's a real treat. The excuses people give for being this kind of parent blow my mind. It's as if the CHILD is responsible for their parenting approach. They are simply reacting to the child's issues. As adults, I get it, it's different, however, not that much different if the parent is trying to maintain a power differential that was established in the child's toddler years. People just don't change without the willingness to be accountable for their actions, words AND thinking patterns. Boundaries for self care are really impt, and acceptance of what is. Sadly, it just is what it is

  • @charuverma5802
    @charuverma5802 Рік тому

    Every parent is a sum of their individual experiences. It’s sad to see these people come on a public platform to talk about their issues. Couldn’t have been easy.
    Let’s hope the mother is able to keep her vows to the daughters and they in turn have love and respect for her.

  • @nunyahbizzniss5140
    @nunyahbizzniss5140 Рік тому

    I catch my self talking to my daughter stern in ways I won’t with others. I am at least aware and do my best to not traumatize my baby girl.

  • @PoisonelleMisty4311
    @PoisonelleMisty4311 Рік тому

    Women who had mothers who criticize them, compare them to other girls, and talk negatively to them may experience long-lasting effects on their self-esteem and self-worth. Such experiences can lead to feelings of inadequacy, low confidence, and a constant need for validation. Additionally, they may struggle with forming healthy relationships and have difficulty trusting others due to the negative patterns established in their early years.

  • @cherishawan2034
    @cherishawan2034 4 роки тому +2

    My Mother was so strict about my weight and hair. I like long hair. My parents put together 50 forbidden foods. Good was never good enough and m

    • @veronicapiccinini1981
      @veronicapiccinini1981 4 роки тому +1

      No kidding. My mother used to criticize my butt for “being too big and fat for her sight”.
      But everything changed when one day, I went to a dietician for the first time with my mother. I don’t why the hell she did it, but she told the dietician “My daughter (Me) is fat and has a huge butt”.
      How did the dietician respond once she heard that? By telling her off saying: “You (my mother) are supposed to be sued for defamation and body shaming”.
      Maybe my mother wanted to humiliate me in front of someone to get some sort of power over me (it’s not the first time she did), except THIS TIME a professional figure managed to put her to her place.
      From then on, she started to not call me “fat” or “big butt” (she slipped into it a few times, though. But less than before)

  • @mightbegenius
    @mightbegenius 3 роки тому +2

    So how was this "silencing a critical parent"? I must have missed the part where they SILENCED her

  • @heathersmith6144
    @heathersmith6144 4 роки тому +6

    The one thing I am on the mothers side about is about dressing for the job.
    I understand that the daughter may not want to where make up but if she’s working at a bridal shop there’s a certain way that is standard for that type of job.
    Just like modeling or being a tv host.
    There’s nothing wrong with giving yourself an extra spark while in that kind of work.
    I used to bartend and I would always put make up on.
    Some girls would come in like they just tiled out of bed and say they didn’t need to do anything because I already got ready!
    I had two make up bags.
    Mine with all my good stuff and another with the more down sized make up. I was the head bartender so I would be really sweet about it but I would say “ hey pretty girl! Your running late again here ya go I got your tables jazz it up beautiful!”
    The girls were already beautiful but you can’t come to work like ya just don’t care. Not in certain jobs. That’s all I’m saying. Other then that I can totally empathize with those daughters. My mother found/ finds any and all fault she can with me. I feel for them. They’re both beautiful and talented

  • @nunyahbizzniss5140
    @nunyahbizzniss5140 Рік тому

    I feel like moms also don’t fear their daughters not liking them as just an employee or friend might if she treated them the same as she does her daughters. So the mom treats employees/friends better from fear of not being liked or accepted. Mom has some security that daughters love her no matter if she takes her frustrations out on them and not other people. Mom might also be speaking to daughters in a way to intimidate employees to improve employees behaviors just not directed at them so employees will not want the same treatment. If that makes sense.

  • @bluebutterfly140
    @bluebutterfly140 4 роки тому +11

    This woman, is a poor excuse for a mother!!

    • @taralilarose1
      @taralilarose1 4 роки тому +5

      I can't believe the mean-spirited uncompassionate attitude of some of you women. How sad.

    • @tiffprendergast
      @tiffprendergast 3 роки тому

      Yup

  • @noellelane5229
    @noellelane5229 4 роки тому +2

    This is nothing compared to my mom lol

  • @ScammedByJamesLClark
    @ScammedByJamesLClark 2 роки тому +2

    I would run a mile and get another job

  • @elviko8581
    @elviko8581 3 роки тому +3

    That mother is not even that Bad. My parents were much worse

  • @Stephanie-ku8wl
    @Stephanie-ku8wl 4 роки тому +7

    Moms want the best for their kids. That’s what you need to remember. If you are in business with yours, wouldn’t you want to look professional especially since you work at a Bridal shop? If the roles were reversed, you might understand that the business supports both of you. I wouldn’t want to set foot in a store where they wore ripped jeans and t shirts and tried to help me find my perfect gown. Maybe mom’s and daughters shouldn’t be in business together. It’s embarrassing to a mom when you work hard to make sure you provide for your kids and they refuse to take showers because everyone else is judging the mom for the child’s choice not to wash their hair. My kids do it too and I had to flat out tell them if they want to go somewhere fun, they need to shower and wear deodorant or we weren’t going. There’s nothing wrong with having high standards. People buy with their eyes.
    Should she have gone as far as she did saying some of the things she did? Her word choice definitely was lacking.

    • @cindynevins7761
      @cindynevins7761 4 роки тому +4

      Your first sentence is false. Not all mums want the best for their child. Sad but true

    • @anitadiaz733
      @anitadiaz733 4 роки тому

      They grew up with this toxic boss, this is the way this woman raised and formed the subconscious of two inocent baby girls, in this awfull and selfish way.

  • @sereneflatun
    @sereneflatun 4 роки тому +4

    Ah describing my mom

  • @kitschmygrits4836
    @kitschmygrits4836 Рік тому

    The hairstylist daughter should enroll at Vidal Sassoon and get better. Her work is not up to par and once it is, her confidence will increase enough that it will show. Just because she's an instructor at a beauty school doesn't mean she really knows how to cut hair exceptionally. The daughter with no makeup should put on a little mascara and lip gloss for crying out loud. Let your mother have her business ran the way she wants and let her have the lead in all communications with customers. She gave birth to you, she has more life experience and knows more than you so let her be your boss at work.

  • @jillstover8782
    @jillstover8782 4 роки тому +4

    Move on get another job, I wouldnt work for her ever

  • @mariposamoreno
    @mariposamoreno 2 роки тому +1

    she doesn’t need makeup.. unlike her mom

  • @marlenneperez8210
    @marlenneperez8210 Рік тому

    💕 💕💕

  • @kristinloucks2084
    @kristinloucks2084 Рік тому

    A critical father

  • @kjbrocky
    @kjbrocky Рік тому

    Everyone has baggage and a past. Stop the excuses and get your own sh*t together or kiss your relationships goodbye! She did not vow to stop the criticism, this was really pathetic.

  • @lukrelukreciacia
    @lukrelukreciacia 2 роки тому

    This two young woman sound much more matture then a mom. The mom is so immature, and she does not even wanna say to younger dougther a real reason why she doesn't want to employ her. She doesn't want to be real with her own daughter.

  • @shahilagh
    @shahilagh Рік тому

    This woman daughter is simple and her simplicity lack of or limited make up is pretty much better than mother or child ther women who wear

  • @catherinesinclair7727
    @catherinesinclair7727 3 місяці тому

    Enmeshment

  • @Izzywizzy74
    @Izzywizzy74 4 роки тому +2

    Change your job

  • @Bellywoodstudios_diadance
    @Bellywoodstudios_diadance 2 роки тому

    How has makeup become a brand standard

  • @PorcelainLeigh
    @PorcelainLeigh 2 роки тому

    Bridal is a glam biz.
    You're not a glam type person?
    Then find another job.
    Easy Peasy.

  • @janethomas78
    @janethomas78 4 роки тому +1

    ICKY MOM!!!

  • @alezandradavila2581
    @alezandradavila2581 Рік тому

    I just don’t talk to her

  • @jeanniecampbell1374
    @jeanniecampbell1374 3 роки тому +1

    I hope the daughter listen to the mum also ..just because she is older does not mean she does not have feeling too

    • @amarbyrd2520
      @amarbyrd2520 Рік тому +2

      Her mom isn't acknowledging what she's saying

  • @rebeccajones8628
    @rebeccajones8628 Рік тому

    Find another job to save your sanity and your relationship.

  • @1411niveditha
    @1411niveditha Рік тому

    It’s crazy how a woman is being beaten up about how she runs her business and somehow she being a mother makes her obligated to give her daughters jobs that they are clearly not carrying out to her expectation.

  • @Catsmeow90
    @Catsmeow90 3 роки тому

    The mom doesn't look all that well put together. Just saying.

  • @maryfeltyartwork
    @maryfeltyartwork 3 роки тому +2

    Mom can't get a word in....

  • @chegadorn
    @chegadorn 4 роки тому +3

    Stop blaming the Mom! The daughters should be independent and get their own jobs.

    • @anitadiaz733
      @anitadiaz733 4 роки тому +1

      There are good reasons why they dont work somewhere else. It is because of this toxic mother.

    • @veronicapiccinini1981
      @veronicapiccinini1981 4 роки тому +2

      @@anitadiaz733 and secondly, now it’s not easy to find a job. They are just lucky to have one in the first place

  • @missie504
    @missie504 4 роки тому +3

    If you don't like working for your mum, then leave! But don't go on National TV and tell the world all you don't like about your mother...

  • @ajamma8139
    @ajamma8139 4 роки тому +2

    Thats why as muslims we Hyde our sins and not tell them, because the forgiveness is Between you and God and not Between you the people. 🍀🍀🍀

  • @Catherine_Kate
    @Catherine_Kate Рік тому

    And if you criticise back... Mom plays victim!