Thanks Kenny! No wonder Jesus said “you must be born again” and “unless you become like a little child you can not see the kingdom of God”. Thank you for helping me around the corner😊
Wow, I really didn't know that it is healthy to talk to your parents about being hurt or affected by them. Like, in my family, that wasn't even a hint of a reality. And I didn't know that it was unhealthy for a parent to be naked around their kid after a certain age. My mom had me take baths with her until I was at least six. When I was developing, I tried to lock her out but she pounded on the door and screamed at me to never lock her out. This is the most accurate system of my family I've heard ... my brother already committed suicide four years ago. I'm in DBT and trauma therapy right now, and I would encourage other folks to seek help in whatever way they are comfortable. I know also that I'm the "disempowered codependent," a very recent realization, so I am working on that for the first time. Very glad for people like yourself. Peace!
If I were to question my parents parenting they would not be able to handle it, they would be victimized and defensive, I would have to tread really fucking lightly and present it in a non threatening way
Inability to stay in reality-this is the biggest one I see in my parent. Even bringing up facts and pointing out things about their addiction and other issues about their codependence/harmful parenting is met with dismissal and excuses. It's like wrestling with an eel.
My mother used the bathroom nude while I was in the shower when I was six. As a six year old I felt as if the grim reaper had just walked in. This was not her fault as she did not know, but to this day when I see nudity it is like death keeps over me.
I scored 3 on the quiz, but so much was not asked. My parents went bankrupt twice. We moved from city to city in the middle of almost every school year. Mom had anyerisms and spent weeks in hospital, and from the age of 9 I was more or less raising my sisters. I tried to keep my father from flying off the handle, but he never hit us. Is there a more accurate quiz?
I just wanna add that by telling your co-dependant parent that they have done a bad job not protecting you from emotional harm as a child is not going to resolve anything? Or is it? I think you will only bring up past wounds and hurt them a lot. 😢 Better release any trapped emotions like anger or resentment in a safe space like in therapy. This way you get to be free of those heavy emotions that are weighing you down and you also are not upsetting your parent unnecessarily. I mean, it's not like they can change the past....what's the point of confessing them how much you sufferred due to their weakness? I think this will ruin the good relationship you have at the moment...or at least disturb the current harmony. Maybe Im wrong though.
What if the reality adult child paints is not true.? I get entitled to their reality and each person's perception is his own. But no one can concurr that the reality described is accurite, It is as if they need this reality for their own empowerment. Is this a characteristic of falsely empowered codependent?
That is a fantastic question! I recommend checking out my video on narcisstic children. ua-cam.com/video/NPdcszruwzg/v-deo.html If that video does not answer your question feel free to submit it to "Ask Kenny a Question" and I will send a video response back with my answer(s)! direct.me/l/7nqH
@@RS54321 yes they do , if you keep seeking out people like that you need to look in the mirror and go get help , because its one thing when you are a small child who was groomed in abuse, but not if you are a grown up and have a secure attachment style , it doesn't add up furthermore, to say not all are npd or narcissistic makes no sense everyone has narcissistic traits we have all been groomed to some degree but if you have a pattern and yet still no right from wrong pain from pleasure you are playing a game with yourself its the Karpman's triangle love , because to survive you are going to be pushed into reactive abuse enough times you dont leave you like it you found stability in it you found someone just as broken as you
ALL Narcissists are codependent, but codependents are not narcissistic. They have some narcissistic traits like controlling, manipulating, being in denial etc. but they can reflect, learn and heal which the narcissistic person can not, because they believe that they are perfect and godlike, so why should they change, go to therapy etc. Codependents often look for the problem inside of themselves while narcissists ALWAYS see the problem in the other. There is a huge difference between those two. Same core wound but different survival strategies.
Anytime stuff got too real my mom would turn into a zombie I guess she was dissociating but I knew I couldnt get through to her
Thanks Kenny! No wonder Jesus said “you must be born again” and “unless you become like a little child you can not see the kingdom of God”. Thank you for helping me around the corner😊
You’re welcome
My mouth was wide open as i watched this video. Wow! Amazing content
Wow, I really didn't know that it is healthy to talk to your parents about being hurt or affected by them. Like, in my family, that wasn't even a hint of a reality. And I didn't know that it was unhealthy for a parent to be naked around their kid after a certain age. My mom had me take baths with her until I was at least six. When I was developing, I tried to lock her out but she pounded on the door and screamed at me to never lock her out. This is the most accurate system of my family I've heard ... my brother already committed suicide four years ago. I'm in DBT and trauma therapy right now, and I would encourage other folks to seek help in whatever way they are comfortable. I know also that I'm the "disempowered codependent," a very recent realization, so I am working on that for the first time. Very glad for people like yourself. Peace!
I’m really sad you experienced all of that. And it just breaks my heart these things are not common knowledge
If I were to question my parents parenting they would not be able to handle it, they would be victimized and defensive, I would have to tread really fucking lightly and present it in a non threatening way
Silent treatment ensues
Inability to stay in reality-this is the biggest one I see in my parent. Even bringing up facts and pointing out things about their addiction and other issues about their codependence/harmful parenting is met with dismissal and excuses. It's like wrestling with an eel.
Thank you Kenny. I needed this.
You’re welcome 😁
My mother used the bathroom nude while I was in the shower when I was six. As a six year old I felt as if the grim reaper had just walked in. This was not her fault as she did not know, but to this day when I see nudity it is like death keeps over me.
I always have apologized to my kids for my mistakes and x wives!
"Truth to Reality"
Wow!
I have an ex girlfriend who ended up in a mental hospital because of the damage her SEVERELY codependent mother caused her.
I scored 3 on the quiz, but so much was not asked. My parents went bankrupt twice. We moved from city to city in the middle of almost every school year. Mom had anyerisms and spent weeks in hospital, and from the age of 9 I was more or less raising my sisters. I tried to keep my father from flying off the handle, but he never hit us. Is there a more accurate quiz?
Thank you Kenny ❤️
You’re welcome
Thank you for sharing your own personal truths & perceptives through your videos on UA-cam & Facebook
Thank you Kenny
For your open discussion 😁
Of course
I really needed to hear this. I now now what wrong with mom and my dad.
This hits very close to home
I just wanna add that by telling your co-dependant parent that they have done a bad job not protecting you from emotional harm as a child is not going to resolve anything? Or is it? I think you will only bring up past wounds and hurt them a lot. 😢 Better release any trapped emotions like anger or resentment in a safe space like in therapy. This way you get to be free of those heavy emotions that are weighing you down and you also are not upsetting your parent unnecessarily. I mean, it's not like they can change the past....what's the point of confessing them how much you sufferred due to their weakness? I think this will ruin the good relationship you have at the moment...or at least disturb the current harmony. Maybe Im wrong though.
What if the reality adult child paints is not true.? I get entitled to their reality and each person's perception is his own. But no one can concurr that the reality described is accurite, It is as if they need this reality for their own empowerment. Is this a characteristic of falsely empowered codependent?
That is a fantastic question! I recommend checking out my video on narcisstic children. ua-cam.com/video/NPdcszruwzg/v-deo.html If that video does not answer your question feel free to submit it to "Ask Kenny a Question" and I will send a video response back with my answer(s)! direct.me/l/7nqH
You forgot how much they enjoy it , how it becomes a sick game with them because codependents are just covert vulnerable fragile npd
Not all codependents have npd or are narcissistic.
@@RS54321 yes they do , if you keep seeking out people like that you need to look in the mirror and go get help , because its one thing when you are a small child who was groomed in abuse, but not if you are a grown up and have a secure attachment style , it doesn't add up
furthermore, to say not all are npd or narcissistic makes no sense everyone has narcissistic traits we have all been groomed to some degree
but if you have a pattern and yet still no right from wrong pain from pleasure you are playing a game with yourself its the Karpman's triangle love , because to survive you are going to be pushed into reactive abuse enough times you dont leave you like it you found stability in it
you found someone just as broken as you
ALL Narcissists are codependent, but codependents are not narcissistic. They have some narcissistic traits like controlling, manipulating, being in denial etc. but they can reflect, learn and heal which the narcissistic person can not, because they believe that they are perfect and godlike, so why should they change, go to therapy etc.
Codependents often look for the problem inside of themselves while narcissists ALWAYS see the problem in the other. There is a huge difference between those two. Same core wound but different survival strategies.
@@DRUMJUNKIE ?