Btw, when I've said in other videos that I'm not in danger of a man...marrying me or anything of the sort...it's because of situations like this. Situations where the connection may be felt, but it's extremely "hypothetical" nothing actually happens. Very frustrating...but also, freeing in a way. Anyway, thank you for watching :)
I went through the same back and forth with a man like this when I turned forty. I thought I was in love with this man. We were off and on for about two years. He was so unreliable. It triggered past traumas, and I was miserable. I finally just ghosted him. That was over ten years ago. I can’t remember why I felt like I was in love with him. We never had any. deep conversations. Actually he was sort of corny, and boring. When I met him, I felt an instant connection. He perfectly my type physically. It had been awhile since that happened. When I look back, I’m positive that I was just infatuated with him.
Mine was only 4 yrs ago and he was someone I had a relationship with in my twenties. I finally realized he was a different person than the man I loved back then. We kept going in circles and things seemed so difficult. I knew it was over when I told him the truth about us. He didn't know what to say. I told him if you really love me you'll leave me alone and then I blocked him. I think Stephanie dodged a bullet.
In the middle of this right now. Widowed earlier this year. Got close to an acquaintance over a shared experience. Lunches, dinners, hanging out together, texting all day, just a whole vibe. I expressed interest, he confirmed feeling it too, but…”not sure what to do about it”. Took me out for my birthday, told me he was still interested but needed to work on some things about himself. Told him to be honest and if he didn’t feel inclined to date me, just tell me. Still spending time together. Took me to airport at zero dark 30 in the morning for a business trip, hugged me, I asked for a kiss. He just stared at me. I get back a week later & ask what the deal is between us because I just couldn’t stand it anymore. Have to drag it out of him that he “doesn’t feel like it’s a NO, but it’s not feeling like a YES, but he’s confused because he really really likes me”. I say ok, then it’s a NO. But even though there’s never been physical contact other than hugs, we can’t leave each other alone. He comes through for me every time I need anything. Took me to urgent care when I was sick. Always offers to help me. We have to see each other for shared activities within a group, but even outside of that, we just sort of circle around each other. There’s no one else either of us talks to romantically, he just won’t act on the attraction between us, despite acknowledging it exists. I make more money than him, he’s kind of financially unstable, he struggles mentally with a lot of things from childhood, despite being in his 40s (I’m in my 50s but am in good shape), but I don’t care about any of that. I’m happy just sitting and talking with him even if not a dime is spent. The feelings run so deep, but they don’t go anywhere.
Hey Steph! Just a different, more unserious opinion. As a former soul tie chord cutter I hope once you heal and it’s not so raw you’ll have fun memories to remember. Soul ties are intense but years after I’m grateful to have felt that roller coaster of deep emotions because it was an experience. Always sending you love and hope something happier and healthier comes along for you. You deserve all the joy in the world. As always love your stories.
Clearly not. Come on. Men are just people. People know plenty of things get in the way of love. These reductive phrases really do more harm than good, they reduce men down to like, the Terminator, these single minded entities, when men are every bit as complex as women.
She said she didn’t have the money… yet and still she was determined to “man up” and figure out how to spend $1700 she didn’t have Why couldn’t he do the same. I think that’s the issue. She thought about it, figured out solutions, cheaper flight, hotel… she tried . He could have done the same and tried hard, just like she was. Try if you want to, the fact that she was trying so hard after admitting it was financially infeasible… he should try too. If he wanted to But he obviously didn’t want to… so he didn’t.
Steph, it struck me when you said “you never make it far enough for you to show a guy your caring nature with your cooking”, I think a mindset shift is important, in that actually the men you have encountered have not treated you well enough to deserve the chance of trying the food that you cook, just a food for thought
and i really want steph to know that she’s not alone in that. i’m 21, so ofc i have no idea how she feels in every aspect but i can wholeheartedly relate to feeling like i wasn’t that kind of girl that get this or that. after my DEVASTATING 8 month situationship i swore off men unless one hit my unrealistically high standards. eventually i want kids as well, but ive also come to terms that a lot of men are evil and absolutely do not deserve to touch me, let alone procreate. so i am at peace with the idea of that never happening. idk what’s wrong with men today, or maybe women are just getting better at not putting up with their shit. either way, we don’t deserve to get treated badly by men. also, i genuinely spent so long crying, wondering why not me until i put my foot down and realized that there was nothing wrong with my looks or my personality or even with what i wanted, it was just the shithead assholes i gave my attention to. it’s new rn but i am dating a guy who hits every single one of my “unrealistic” standards and i don’t cry and wonder why i don’t get the treatment i’ve seen other women get. it’s not because i wasn’t good enough, it was because the men i dated before weren’t the ones who’d ever treat any woman like that.
When you say “I’m beginning to think that this is karma, I’m beginning to think that I acted real bad in a past life.” it truly makes me sad, because you always seem to find a way to blame yourself when you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. You do not deserve this.
@@Lisette121as someone who has been single for more than I’d like and no sex(not by choice) I think part of also doing things right is not letting it get that far with someone who isn’t making an effort. I had a guy who also kept saying “I do wanna see you” and I’d be open to planning things and something always would come up but I never got mad I said “ok next time” after the 3rd cancellation I just cut my losses I don’t have the energy to argue back and forth 😪
@@firstname8348 the thing is…. NOT EVERYONE has to go through hell and jump through hoops to find love or good romantic experiences like she does! So how is her karma not learning? What about the people who are never put in a situation they have to “ learn” from. That’s her whole point.
It was a good decision to not go to NYC…the cursing you out, the disrespect, the fixation on sex, the egocentric approach…this does not sound like someone who would treat you well long term. It’s not easy because as humans we have a longing for love so it makes sense that you were reluctant to end the connection but it was the right choice to cut him off.
Word of advice that I had to learn the hard way, and I heard Steph say: NEVER mention to a potential partner that you are used to men letting you down. That puts the exception on the floor.
I have always said to my partners that I've been very spoiled by all my boyfriends and treated like a princess by my father and family in general. It's mostly true but even if it's not completely true I don't care. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he I've never mentioned major issues with my exes or with my dad and I don't think I ever will. So far he's been treating me very well and I'm very appreciative but I will never make him feel like this is something that I'm not used to because men will take advantage of that.
Yess! Always pretend like you're used to a certain kind of treatment, even if it's not reality. When they say no or don't do something you need, act offended and confused like you can't understand why they're like this because no one else treated you like that. Men like to compete with each other, either for the better or worse. Steph, you need to LIE! 😂
Never discuss what happened in your previous relationships, even if he asks. Men only ask that question to use it against you. You also shouldn't discuss how many sex partners you've had. You'd think that women would know this, but unfortunately, many don't.
Yes, yes yes the OG girls learn from Michaela pink channel to reinvent your story. Let him know that your daddy spoiled, you--weed out the guys who don’t plan to spoil you.
I also learned this the hard way. You know that “representative” we talk about in dating? Well I had to carefully craft and create one because “hurt me” was attracting the wrong mofos…
Ladies let's start leaving at the first sign of disrespect. Let's start saying to ourselves my husband would never bc the man you marry has the utmost respect for you ❤
I agree. I think the problem for people like Steph though is they lack an abundance mindset. So many times in this story she mentioned she felt like that guy was her last chance. I think in the end, wether we have options or not we always need to be willing to choose the option that is always there - to be alone - over being mistreated
I always say this too when evaluating a man’s behavior- would my husband do this? If not, then I put in no effort. I’m not planning anything, I’m not arguing with or explaining anything to you.
Plenty of women never get married. It has nothing to do with what a hypothetical future husband would do and everything to do with maintaining a good relationship with yourself. No man is worth breaking up with your own self esteem. I think this 'well, some other future guy will be better' mindset really traps women like Steph in a sense of lack.
@@FishareFriendsNotFood972 This this this!!! Maybe instead of my future husband would never, she could get some self esteem and realize she does not deserve this and would never do this shit to herself.
How do we know that he was broke? He just didn't want to spend money on her. Why did he have to spend money on her? She knew what it was... He wasn't booking flights to come see her, but he was booking flights to go elsewhere. So why be mad at him when she set up the foundation on quicksand?
@@bebeowens9842she mentioned his living situation was off and he got her a free drink at the establishment he worked at… sounds like he was a charismatic bartender and she was falling for his charm Based on the story, dude sounded broke
@@bebeowens9842 well, ma’am, he told her he was broke and seems to be living with a girlfriend or something so there are plenty of reasons to dislike him. I have no reason to believe he’s not broke given his profession and location. I understand you want to drag Stephanie but that doesn’t mean he’s a quality man. He isn’t. Put the cape down.
Oh baby, this guy was a whole clown. I hate that you even gave him any of your time. He wasn't broke, he was bored. I heard your voice break as you said I want someone to love me as I am now. We love you Steph. x
Craving love and companionship can sometimes feel like a curse. I think you were drawn to him because he offered something different-something you weren’t used to. When you’ve dealt with constant disappointment from men and bad dating experiences, even the smallest gesture of love or affection can make us latch on and start idealizing who we want the person to be, rather than who they truly are.
@@Insightful_Locs What did he offer her that was different? She said he never even came to see her. He showed her time and time again that he was not interested in ANYTHING else but "casual physical activity" as she put it, lol.
She is one of those women that will never learn. It's also funny to me how she thinks just cause this man will travel to see her is big. Girl, he just sees you as an easy lay. You weren't even in a relationship with this man. He never took you seriously. He just wanted to sleep with her thats IT!!. This isn't the first video like this she's done then she stopped cause of people calling her behavior out.i guess her commentary videos aren't doing so great. She just wants clicks and views at this point. Do you Steph..
Steph, I just want to say I feel I have seen you transition throughout your time on UA-cam. I have watched uou give your self more grace and allow yourself to be who you are comfortably.
@hellostephco84 I think you should consider doing some shadow work, Heidi Priebe has great videos on it. This might help you resolve some internal conflicts.
@@hellostephco84 hi...you may have heard this suggestion before...(However, I didn't see it in the 700+ comments that I've reviewed thus far on this specific video) but...have you ever watched Tony Gaskins, Jr. content? Often times, women go to women to learn about men. But...would it make more sense to go to men to learn about men...? 🤷🏾♀️ He's been married for 16+ years. No scandals. Been a leading figure in the relationship space...and has recently begun offering a matchmaking service for specific clients. His content is relatable. Bare bones. Raw. Honest. Even the "Lil Dummy" series. The old content is also evergreen. He doesn't pander...everybody gets it how he sees it. Again, he's married with no scandals...has two children...and has coached huge content creators and celebrities. If I'm wanting advice on areas to address, someone who is upright, well-spoken of, and has achieved a long-term marriage with children (if that's my desire), and is the sex of the people I desire to be with seems to be a good resource to explore. The advice is practical...and the gems are everlasting. You've tried a lot of things...I hope you'll choose to try one more...and perhaps, some of those prior fundamentals that seemed to not work...well, who knows what could happen. Grace and peace to you on your journey. 👏🏾
Ok so much to unpack here: Firstly, as someone who has lived in NYC, if he is a bartender (which it sounds like) he is not too broke to travel. Bartenders make good money in NYC. He just didn’t want to spend his money and thought that if he offered, it would make you feel special but he had no intentions of doing this. Secondly, it sounds to me like he kept doing all the emotional back and forth with you because it was an ego boost for him. It was like a game. He wanted to see just how desperate you were for his attention and how much you would let him come back every time you blocked him. It wasn’t about him being connected to you. You just made him feel special because he was amazed that he could do so little for you and still keep you so attached to him for so long. Men get an ego stroke from this. You gotta learn to cut this stuff of immediately and not live in your fantasy world so much. You create these fantasies about what you’re experiencing with men and it’s not reality.
You said exactly what I was thinking. I really think she romanticizes these interactions way too much. She needs to start seeing things for the way they are😢 I feel so sorry for her because this seems like a pattern for her. She keeps repeating the same cycle..
@@Tyleigh-dn4ki I no longer feel sorry for her. She is 40 years old, not 20 years old. At this point, it is a choice and she doesn’t want to become a more emotionally mature person. I used to feel sorry for her too but the more I see her just ignore advice from thousands of people, the more I realize that she is creating her own dating hell and that’s just the way she wants it to be. I have seen her say, in several videos, that she sees people’s responses and she just doesn’t agree. So this is deliberate. At this point, it’s just embarrassing, not sad. I’m afraid that even if she got married, she would be the biggest fool in a marriage too. She just doesn’t get it.
I’m comparing this story from her Friendsgiving story and the tremendous growth she’s made is amazing. Stephanie from that Friendsgiving story would have flown to NY for this useless man. But the Stephanie of now…grown, determined to stand 10 toes down to be at least met halfway financially. I hope she meets a man who meets her 100% of the way.
Girl as a NYer…. Never ever date a man from here and never spend your money to visit them. Most of the men here are barely getting by but pretending they got it. Only a very select few do. It’s not a city of love romance or thoughtfulness just partying and trying to get the most with the least!
Girllllll I held my breath so much in this video but when you got to the end and I realized you didn’t go I wanted to cry tears of joy. I am BEYOND proud of you for not subjecting yourself to that.
This! Like to literally watch that internal dialogue / emotional battle that I’m sure many of us have had and to see she inevitably chose herself was absolutely beautiful 💗 *chefs kiss*
Stephanie, I love your spirit and your content and I’ve been rocking with you since the pretty privilege video. A common theme I’ve noticed is not cutting off men at the first sight of disrespect. That man popping up in your life every month like a bill (which is true since he’s demanding you spend money) is disheartening. You’re so beautiful, youthful, so soft spoken, so eloquent, so full of life and seem like such a great presence to be around. You don’t deserve even half a second of disrespect wrapped up as a gift. The man is trash and you deserve someone who would say “I like you, I’m going to come to see YOU.” I know you’ll find what you’re looking for but you gotta put yourself and your wants first.
Actions speak louder than words and looks. Doesn’t matter how he looks at you. His actions said everything. He was no different than the other guys you had met in the past. From what you described he is a liar, manipulative, broke and is not worthy of your time. You deserve better regardless of what you have dealt with in the past or what society tells you, You are worthy of a man who will be honest, reliable, stay true to his word, treat you with respect, and has his finances in order.
@@LadyK007 And she needs to quit sharing how bad she's been treated by other men. That tells them right there that her value to men is minimal - even if they are not sure why yet. DO NOT let them know that - make them think you are used to the princess treatment because that is what all the other men felt she was worth it. She also should make them COME TO SEE HER, on HER turf.
@@ScottsdaleSushiCriticizing a woman for sharing her struggles with men overlooks the broader systemic issues that many women face, such as being unseen, rejected, or exploited. These experiences aren’t trivial; they deeply shape a person’s confidence, sense of worth, and ability to connect. Instead of blaming women for not hiding their pain, we should acknowledge that their stories reflect societal failures, not personal flaws. Speaking out about these challenges is an act of courage, not weakness, and it highlights the need for empathy and change rather than dismissal.
It makes me kinda sad how you usually down yourself. As long as you trust & believe and speak positively over your life, you will receive ALL of your heart’s desires. Forget these clowns! You’re a beautiful gem, sis.
It was hard to listen to her down herself over the course of this video but I can also understand the circumstances that have led to her feeling this way 😢. I want better for my sis.
This! It always breaks my heart how she speaks about herself and her future. She’s so amazing, so beautiful, so witty and so funny and I don’t understand how a man wouldn’t encounter her and not fall to his knees. And so it sucks that she now sees herself through the lens of the failed romantic encounters and has internalized that as her fate, which it now seems that that’s all she’s attracting.
45:28 "after all the talk, connection, etc. he wants me to sightsee alone?" All the aforementioned things cost him $0 & zero effort. Hosting you in NY wd cost him $. When dating, pay close attention to how he spends his resources on you. And respectfully, this man is jobless, so his time spent on the phone doesn't count. Please only love based on his consistent actions NOT CONNECTION. Cut any man off at the 1st sign of: ❌️When a man is unemployed ❌️Shouts at you ❌️Mocks you ❌️Avoids spending on you ❌️Asks for pictures too soon
Thank you for your honesty, despite your pessimism, quite justified as life hasn't treated you well, I believe in your happy end. For some, the good things are in store for later. You're a lovely woman.
@@anneb6262most marriages end in divorce, a man is not a plan, men literally drain the life and resources out of women. she should open herself up to dating women if she wants true companionship and love. males do not love women.check out princella clark/high powered podcast
Her self esteem is SO low. She accepts far less than she deserves and she’s letting her past dictate her present. It’s sad, but she has to realize she is worthy and stand on business. Nothing will change until she does. Who wants to be with someone who doesn’t believe in themselves?
When you kept saying that you aren't the type of woman men travel for and travel with etc. I kept thinking to myself how powerful words are and how we create the lives we live so from today onwards you are the kind of woman a man would do all these things for and with❤Oh and by the way I love your videos so much. It doesn't really matter what you speak about I just always enjoy hearing your perspective and how you relate to different things.
@@alexisidlette-wilson9694 I know a lot of people think what influencers say is the norm, but I don't know a single person who has been flown out by a man. I have had one man fly to see me, and that was my husband coming home from deployment 😂
@@alexisidlette-wilson9694 but honestly sometimes that’s also the problem. Not everyone’s person is in their city or current area. So yes, MOST people get with people within their vicinity, but a lot of those connections are awful so 🤷🏾♀️
Steph, I love you but my jaw is on the floor. This one year situation shouldve have been one month long MAX. We want better for you. Please stop letting singleness drive you into the wrong arms 🥺🙏🏾
Stephanie you have grown! You from the Friendsgiving story would have flown to NY but you now…formidable. I’m so proud of you! Be proud of you. You’re stunning, creative and talented. Please stop putting yourself down. You’re a gem!
You know what, you’re right. I was about to judge and say, she’s still not learnt but this demonstrates a move in the right direction. We all just want Steph to love herself and pour the amazing love she has, into herself.
@@aishaa927 genuine question and not trying to argue: what would you have gained personally from judging her for her choices? She’s literally just sharing her life experience, so what’s there to judge? I’m sincerely just curious because she always gets so much unsolicited “advice,” so I’m wondering if you do that with ppl in your own life. Again, I’m literally not trying to argue, I’m just trying to understand.
I appreciate you sharing your story with us @stephco ! Your journey is not as uncommon as it may seem, truly. We’re in weird times. You seem like such a nice empath. It sucks that these male low-effort vampires keep crossing your path. Hoping you experience peace and fulfillment in 2025! ❤
Her story is absolutely not uncommon. Most people are just harder on her cuz she’s a late bloomer. A LOT of us made these same mistakes in our late teens/early 20s. Her life cycle just started later but her “mistakes” or choices are actually normal
I agree, I’m watching this video feeling like she’s telling my story lol, tbh I’m going through the same exact situation and I’m older than Steph (early 40s)
This for being so brave and sharing this story. I’m 46 and divorced . You story is very common but not a lot of 40 years old are brave like you to tell their truth. Most 30 -40 are not single even the broke ones.
Thank you Stephanie ❤. I love your content you are so intelligent. Insightful and awesome story teller. I could like you tell a story all day. The tone of your voice is also so sweet and calming
Mama, you didn’t miss out on anything special. All that effort to look good and buy tickets to meet a man that just wants to sleep with you is a waste of $$ and time. Don’t overthink what could of happened. Move on.
I say this wiith all due respect..Sis you really need to work on your self-esteem. Never tell a guy that he's the first one to do something for you or how badly you're always treated. These guys can smell your insecurities from a mile away. Nobody wants the "charity case." Sorry. Confidence will take you so much further. Even if you have to FAKE it.
I had a terrible messy toxic situationship that also lasted for a year, except we were geographical close so it was NASTY. Now I look back on it and recognize the greatest thing he ever did for me was finally leave me alone. I'm glad you're free too!
Girls! I cannot , I cannot express to you enough, there’s no way to express without living it, but do not let life keep showing you in the hardest ways,which were described in this video. These shenanigans are NOT connection, NOT love , it’s loneliness, lust, desperation and self deprivation! I know, I lived it until I made massive changes in my mind and actions. I met the love of my whole life in 2017, married in 2018 and my husband made it so clear he was here to live life with me that now when I think back it’s with a horrified disbelief in what I allowed for a temporary meaningless rush. Stop. Life is TEMPORARY do not let men play with yours.
Never try to build anything serious with any man that's still involved with someone else in any way or has "domestic issues" or whatever it was called in the video. He will never take it seriously and/or respect you. Just... don't.
Or was scoping out if Steph would be his sugar momma. From the story he sounded like he was “in between jobs” aka leeching off someone else, probably another romantic partner. Steph is well spoken, attractive. Put together. She definitely looks like the type to attract gold diggers to me.
Exactly what I said. He just wanted to sleep with her and that's it!. Men will do A LOT just to sleep eith you especially if he has a hidden agenda and she's an easy target. I feel bad but bruh she's 40 and still keeps making the same mistakes.?. Come on...
The thing is she should have never given him the cookie.She would have realized from earlier that is all he is interested in some men are so evil and will pursue you for years just to eat and go. My advice don't give these men anything until your emotional and spirtual needs are met if not you will be chopped and screwed.
YOUR stories are my faveee!!!! especially dating stories. Your experiences are so much more relatable than you think. I wish you would give yourself more self-compassion and stop being SO HARD on yourself!!! It's hard when you see other women getting the kind of treatment you want, and I totally get it, but I really do think it's possible for you with the right person❤❤
For anyone out there in a similar situation, just remember, how a man presents himself to you at the beginning is the best he’ll ever present himself- if it’s not a great situation, it won’t get better, he’ll definitely get worse. A man who is serious and intentional (the only reason to get with a man long term) will do his best to come with solutions and options for you or he won’t reach out to you in the beginning, because he knows anything less is disrespectful! I love videos from you Steph; another insightful watch and a lesson for the viewer to take onboard 🙂❤️ I wish you joy in all areas of your life and abundant financial opportunities too! You’re story telling skills are invaluable in this creative sphere and your pay should reflect that.
Ok I finished the video. I dont want to spook you into not sharing these experiences but as someone who has developed a small parasocial relationship with you I feel called to share my perspective. This man knew exactly what he was doing. It was a mildly entertaining game for him. His default was thoughtlessness and inconsistency with moments of "connection" to pull you back in. You developed limerance with him. Please find the strength and willpower within you to end the connection at the FIRST red flag. Idk if you are listening to yourself but you are accurately pointing out all the red flags which leads me to believe that you knew deep down this was not the person for you. I understand your pain of not having a life partner. Truly I do. I've been done that road. Its scary and painful but allowing these types of ppl into your life is not the way forward. You are a beautiful, smart, funny, kind, genuine human. Im sorry there are so many opportunistic ppl out there who see that and take advantage. Sorry for the long comment but I just really hope you'll read it and make a different choice going forward 💛🌺
@@jiminstinyhands7776💯 yes allowed myself to experience this out of curiousity. And 💯 it is like a bizarre ego boost for them to string someone along purely for their entertainment/boredom. (Avoid "avoidant" men at all costs!)
@@natalierose1072 You are spot on! He got off on playing with her head. Alot of these men are WEIRDOES feeding off of womens' desire for companionship by lovebombing, playing hot and cold etc
yes- limerence!!!! that's exactly it. I just learned about the idea a short while ago. It can be very painful for people to stop the habit but also rewarding. Maybe speak to a therapist about it.
Why was I so anxious for you when you were telling your story because these ppl online can be so nasty and judgmental. I hope this is a better experience for you.
Putting yourself on a time clock, and rushing to accomplish things before it runs out leads to making decisions that arent thought out and can be detrimental in the short and long term.
I'm so proud of you for not giving into that fool's manipulative tactics! I hope you find someone who wants to give you the world and make you happy and not just expects you to do everything for him!
I hope for everyone is to not to make their past treatment, failures, or mistakes your total identity. Especially NEVER tell a man youre used to mistreatment. Sometimes we keep finding ourselves in the same situations or meeting different versions of the same person because there's a lesson we still havent learned. It's hopeful to hear that Steph is taking steps in tbe right direction. You dont have entertain, give grace, or explain anything to these fools anymore. Youve been there, done that, and got the tshirt.
My sweet baby… I’m pissed FOR you!! PLEASE stop entertaining clowns!!! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 And stop downing yourself!!! 💕 I’ve noticed this as a trend in your videos. You may not think you feel that way but you keep saying it over and over. Accept that you ARE worthy of everything you’re seeking and DO NOT accept ANYTHING less. 💕💕💕
Hey steph, I just want to say - You ARE the type of woman that men will fly out for. You are THAT girl hold your head up high. Don’t speak negatively on yourself, the way you see yourself becomes your reality. Self image actually shapes who we are. So have a positive self image. Lots of love ❤
48 years old now. what I learned in my 30s was the men I was choosing was a direct reflection of how I felt about myself. Once I realize that I worked on how I felt about myself. Only after that did my choices drastically improve
In conclusion, this man did not like you. He showed you this time and time again, but unfortunately you loved the fantasy too much to see it. It’s sad. I pray lessons have been learned so that you don’t waste another year of your life like this again!
Thank you for sharing your journey so courageously. As a Black man, I can never experience the full extent of your experiences. With that said, I can empathize with your experiences because they are similar to my own. Similar to your experience, I’ve experienced so much apathy, rejection, disrespect, and downright contempt that I have questioned my own value and worth of being enough…and have doubted whether actual reciprocal human love exists in reality or if it does, could it exist for me. I don’t know the full totality of your life but as someone who has just recently received a wonderful spiritual and psychological gift from on High with help from some lovely human friends, I can share it with you and it is this set of truths….what those people did, it is not your fault nor a reflection of you in any way. You are also right to desire love and connection, and you don’t need to earn it and you can never be unworthy of it as long as you have good will. I hope you experience the satisfaction and peace you seek. I have not yet but I hope and pray that we both will in our respective lives.
I truly appreciate your vulnerability and your introspection it is NOT easy to share these type of stories . Also no one is thinking of “why didn’t you go see him?!?!” We are ALL happy that you went to PR!!! We love to see it.
My life changed when I stopped dating people who I was magnetically attracted to (always equalled bad news!) and gave a chance to the guy who was meh at first but was a good guy on paper. We have a slow burn and I'm now so deeply in love with him, and he's the greatest guy I've ever dated ❤️ So freaking greatful! I wish you'd give dating apps another chance and give some more time to the meh guys who have their shit together. You bever know what could happen! But if you always do what you always did, you're always gunna get what you always got.
@@alexandrahutchinson4516 Maybe she needs to change her dating profile, or the tactic on how she swipes right. You could meet 99 dusties and then the 100th is a good guy. All it takes is 1.
I heard this thing the other day on a podcast- It's not that bad men are attracted to you because of your vulnerability or because you give off something that they can sense.. it's that they go to many people, and it's the women without strong boundaries that allow them to treat them badly. I'm not blaming the women at all, but I think it makes for a good mindset shift. Decide on what your boundaries are before going out there. Don't waste your time on people who aren't willing to give you what you need in a relationship.
Similar to me, we've both fantasized about a life for us that we've seen in movies/tv shows and from relationships around us, but we end up so disappointed that it hasn't happened to us, so we take whatever we can get from anyone and anywhere. I was ghosted this past June after a two year situationship with a man that I knew wasn't going to go anywhere, but I didn't want to be alone. I'm still trying to heal from that. I'm unsure if you're in therapy or have a support system around you that's helping you love yourself and be comfortable in your own skin. I have a lot of good things in my life, but I don't have a relationship and it has minimized everything else that's happening in my life.
As a Brooklyn Jamaican/American girl, this sounds like the toxicity of a Caribbean (or African) man. In NYC half, if not most of these men live with a woman who believes they are in a relationship…while the man is going about life single. It’s a good thing you didn’t make the trip. Btw you look great!
Girl you made the right choice. Sounds like he was in a relationship and/or cohabiting with a woman. He chose you because you were far enough to be a side chick and kind enough not to be a problem. He had money-this “relationship” wasn’t important enough for him to spend it on…he was probably spending it on his family at home 🤦🏽♀️ A man who’s interested finds a way. TRUST your intuition! Good job sis 👏🏽👏🏽
It makes me sad because I noticed you engaged into this with the mindset of “I guess I can tolerate this in the name of love”. A serious love interest should add positive aspects to your life and respect you. If not, it’s not worth it, and you don’t deserve such an abusive situation. Im glad you ended up choosing for yourself though. It may have taken some time to find the strength to cut it off, but you managed!
Adding to this, not everything is a sign from the universe. You don’t have to open yourself up to these negative experiences and chase it and see it to the end, please protect yourself once you notice red flags!
I HATE that this is the average kind of man that comes into your life. That man was plain ol cruel to you. You seem like such a nice lady. You don’t deserve any of this BS. I’m mind boggled that this has been your experience! I know you believe that the door to motherhood may be closed, but I pray you get to experience a love that is deserving of your heart. It’s clear you have so much love to give to someone worthy ❤
All the back and forth and fighting and negotiating over your visit was drama that still felt like something to hold on to. Arguing from a distance felt like you had a relationship of some sort instead of nothing. Although you saw all the red flags, you didn't trust your intuition and implement boundaries. Next time trust yourself, if the guy has unclear domestic situation, may not be single, and is not willing to court you, to invest in you, don't waste anymore time on him. I understand it's so disappointing when we want to have a romance, to love on someone and be loved, and when we feel like time is running out. But you are more precious than you think and embellished him. He was enjoying the power he felt over you, how easy he had access to you. In the end he was insulting in his email. Be ready to have him reach out again, but don't romanticise it! Also never tell a man you just met you only got men let you down. Lastly, it's a global problem with men, don't take it personally, it's not because of you of your karma, most men are exploitative and use romance to boost their ego.
I am so proud of you for not accepting to settle for less than the bare minimum. You were more than understanding and tried to compromise and meet Him part of the way. I think he was giving just enough to string you along and make you think there was potential. This is why breaking things down to a person’s actions and believing who they are when they show you who they are is so important in keeping clarity and giving yourself a reality check. Consistency is key if either party can not keep a level of consistency to the version they showed of themselves in the beginning then it was never there to begin with.
I know you sacrifice a lot emotionally to give us these dating stories, but I needed to hear this, just as a reminder. I’ve had a couple of situations like this, and I now realize the reason I entertained them was because some part of me liked that chaos. Whew! I’m so glad I let it go! Hearing you talk about yours made me realize just how foolish I was back then, and that’s no slight to you, friend. One of mine I had never even slept with and we still were acting like this; I can’t even blame it on the 🍆. Anyway, glad you didn’t give in and go see him. It would have been a disaster!
I’m sure I speak for many of us when I say I’m very grateful that you continue to share this part of yourself in a way that feels safe for you, and I appreciate that you allowed us over here on UA-cam to hear this one. Much love!!
Thank you for sharing this story and please don’t stop! Don’t feel like you owe anyone a “good news” story. I actually like hearing stories that don’t have a happy-ending as they’re so relatable to me and make me feel less alone when I struggle. Social media is already full of people only posting the highlight reels of their lives
She’ll probably stop sharing on UA-cam because a lot of commenters are self-righteous and condescending and think they know steph better than she does and love giving her “advice” she doesn’t ask for.
Lmao at "How much stupider can it get?" You're so close to finding your person. As soon as you go back outside, you're going to meet him. I love that for you.
There is hope! You gotta switch it up. My gf had your same experience and got engaged over the weekend after a year of dating just before her 40th birthday. Ultimately, she had to be honest about why she attracted the same type of men, have self control, purge and maintain an open mind. There isn’t a perfect everything.
I just watched this all the way through and let me say. You are a master storyteller and your ability to be vulnerable is a gift. You could have a career in writing for Hollywood, seriously.
Steph, there’s absolutely no one on UA-cam that i will listen to for 1 hour (or even 20 min) except for your story times. You have such an amazing, phenomenal gift and coveted skill at storytelling that I wish I could just buy bottles of it off the store shelves…. So glad you snatched the cord of your precious energy back from that loser. He definitely didn’t deserve a beautiful human being such as you!
Thank you for sharing and I genuinely think you should spend some time with a therapist cos this takes a toll on the mind. ❤️❤️❤️ However, I genuinely think this person did not want a relationship with you or see you as a relationship potential. He never put in any work that even indicated you were important to him. I believe he enjoyed the back and forth. The drama, the lusty email etc. But I don’t think he was ever really committed. You saw potential and he seemed to fulfil a dramatic need for himself. He will be back first of December or around the holidays and I pray you have the strength to not interact with him. ❤️
Thanks for sharing. I’m sorry that it didn’t work out the way that you hoped it would. I’m glad you didn’t go see him. If I had to guess, he was probably in a relationship, because it’s never a good sign when a man doesn’t want you coming around out of the blue. Also you mentioned him being between jobs at some point, so whoever he’s living with was also likely supporting him. These kind of situations are super common unfortunately. I’m glad that at least you weren’t impacted financially by shelling out a bunch of money for a trip. Just remember you aren’t alone in this terrible romantic journey. Sometimes the stories you tell have been nearly identical to things I’ve experienced.
Btw, when I've said in other videos that I'm not in danger of a man...marrying me or anything of the sort...it's because of situations like this. Situations where the connection may be felt, but it's extremely "hypothetical" nothing actually happens. Very frustrating...but also, freeing in a way. Anyway, thank you for watching :)
I went through the same back and forth with a man like this when I turned forty. I thought I was in love with this man. We were off and on for about two years. He was so unreliable. It triggered past traumas, and I was miserable. I finally just ghosted him. That was over ten years ago. I can’t remember why I felt like I was in love with him. We never had any. deep conversations. Actually he was sort of corny, and boring. When I met him, I felt an instant connection. He perfectly my type physically. It had been awhile since that happened. When I look back, I’m positive that I was just infatuated with him.
Mine was only 4 yrs ago and he was someone I had a relationship with in my twenties. I finally realized he was a different person than the man I loved back then. We kept going in circles and things seemed so difficult. I knew it was over when I told him the truth about us. He didn't know what to say. I told him if you really love me you'll leave me alone and then I blocked him. I think Stephanie dodged a bullet.
@@misstinab8175 OHMYGAAAWD I thought this was me😥 (same crazy situation)
In the middle of this right now. Widowed earlier this year. Got close to an acquaintance over a shared experience. Lunches, dinners, hanging out together, texting all day, just a whole vibe. I expressed interest, he confirmed feeling it too, but…”not sure what to do about it”. Took me out for my birthday, told me he was still interested but needed to work on some things about himself. Told him to be honest and if he didn’t feel inclined to date me, just tell me. Still spending time together. Took me to airport at zero dark 30 in the morning for a business trip, hugged me, I asked for a kiss. He just stared at me. I get back a week later & ask what the deal is between us because I just couldn’t stand it anymore. Have to drag it out of him that he “doesn’t feel like it’s a NO, but it’s not feeling like a YES, but he’s confused because he really really likes me”. I say ok, then it’s a NO. But even though there’s never been physical contact other than hugs, we can’t leave each other alone. He comes through for me every time I need anything. Took me to urgent care when I was sick. Always offers to help me. We have to see each other for shared activities within a group, but even outside of that, we just sort of circle around each other. There’s no one else either of us talks to romantically, he just won’t act on the attraction between us, despite acknowledging it exists. I make more money than him, he’s kind of financially unstable, he struggles mentally with a lot of things from childhood, despite being in his 40s (I’m in my 50s but am in good shape), but I don’t care about any of that. I’m happy just sitting and talking with him even if not a dime is spent. The feelings run so deep, but they don’t go anywhere.
Hey Steph! Just a different, more unserious opinion. As a former soul tie chord cutter I hope once you heal and it’s not so raw you’ll have fun memories to remember. Soul ties are intense but years after I’m grateful to have felt that roller coaster of deep emotions because it was an experience.
Always sending you love and hope something happier and healthier comes along for you. You deserve all the joy in the world. As always love your stories.
We love commentary Stephco, but STORY TIME Stephco?! We liiiiiive!
Yesssss
LIVE!!!!!
@@nomessnostress girl the Friendsgiving fiasco is my all time favorite story time
Yesss instant click !
Facts!
You are a gifted orator. Never stop talking!
Facts!!
Period!!
She’s great. Love listening to her
I totally agree ! Such a gift !
Such a beautiful gift. She’s highly blessed, wish she would stop playing around with these bums!
If a man's in love with a woman, he will find a way to get to her.
@@jilllisa5724 immediately, with no hesitation 💯
That’s not necessarily true. Resources are finite
Clearly not. Come on. Men are just people. People know plenty of things get in the way of love. These reductive phrases really do more harm than good, they reduce men down to like, the Terminator, these single minded entities, when men are every bit as complex as women.
She said she didn’t have the money… yet and still she was determined to “man up” and figure out how to spend $1700 she didn’t have
Why couldn’t he do the same. I think that’s the issue.
She thought about it, figured out solutions, cheaper flight, hotel… she tried .
He could have done the same and tried hard, just like she was. Try if you want to, the fact that she was trying so hard after admitting it was financially infeasible… he should try too. If he wanted to
But he obviously didn’t want to… so he didn’t.
@@rf3575 Exactly this.
Steph, it struck me when you said “you never make it far enough for you to show a guy your caring nature with your cooking”, I think a mindset shift is important, in that actually the men you have encountered have not treated you well enough to deserve the chance of trying the food that you cook, just a food for thought
Can’t wait until she starts getting these men the bish treatment! They’ll literally start falling at her feet
Yesss!!
and i really want steph to know that she’s not alone in that. i’m 21, so ofc i have no idea how she feels in every aspect but i can wholeheartedly relate to feeling like i wasn’t that kind of girl that get this or that. after my DEVASTATING 8 month situationship i swore off men unless one hit my unrealistically high standards. eventually i want kids as well, but ive also come to terms that a lot of men are evil and absolutely do not deserve to touch me, let alone procreate. so i am at peace with the idea of that never happening. idk what’s wrong with men today, or maybe women are just getting better at not putting up with their shit. either way, we don’t deserve to get treated badly by men. also, i genuinely spent so long crying, wondering why not me until i put my foot down and realized that there was nothing wrong with my looks or my personality or even with what i wanted, it was just the shithead assholes i gave my attention to. it’s new rn but i am dating a guy who hits every single one of my “unrealistic” standards and i don’t cry and wonder why i don’t get the treatment i’ve seen other women get. it’s not because i wasn’t good enough, it was because the men i dated before weren’t the ones who’d ever treat any woman like that.
True she must change her mindset from lack
I see what you did there, "just a food for thought."
When you say “I’m beginning to think that this is karma, I’m beginning to think that I acted real bad in a past life.” it truly makes me sad, because you always seem to find a way to blame yourself when you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. You do not deserve this.
This!
She doesn't learn from previous lessons with men. That has nothing to do with Karma.
I get her though. Sometimes you do everything right and it doesn't work out. So that does make you wonder.
@@Lisette121as someone who has been single for more than I’d like and no sex(not by choice) I think part of also doing things right is not letting it get that far with someone who isn’t making an effort. I had a guy who also kept saying “I do wanna see you” and I’d be open to planning things and something always would come up but I never got mad I said “ok next time” after the 3rd cancellation I just cut my losses I don’t have the energy to argue back and forth 😪
@@firstname8348 the thing is…. NOT EVERYONE has to go through hell and jump through hoops to find love or good romantic experiences like she does! So how is her karma not learning? What about the people who are never put in a situation they have to “ learn” from. That’s her whole point.
It was a good decision to not go to NYC…the cursing you out, the disrespect, the fixation on sex, the egocentric approach…this does not sound like someone who would treat you well long term. It’s not easy because as humans we have a longing for love so it makes sense that you were reluctant to end the connection but it was the right choice to cut him off.
the guy sounds like spoilt child
Amen
Word of advice that I had to learn the hard way, and I heard Steph say: NEVER mention to a potential partner that you are used to men letting you down. That puts the exception on the floor.
I have always said to my partners that I've been very spoiled by all my boyfriends and treated like a princess by my father and family in general. It's mostly true but even if it's not completely true I don't care. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he I've never mentioned major issues with my exes or with my dad and I don't think I ever will. So far he's been treating me very well and I'm very appreciative but I will never make him feel like this is something that I'm not used to because men will take advantage of that.
Yess! Always pretend like you're used to a certain kind of treatment, even if it's not reality. When they say no or don't do something you need, act offended and confused like you can't understand why they're like this because no one else treated you like that. Men like to compete with each other, either for the better or worse. Steph, you need to LIE! 😂
Never discuss what happened in your previous relationships, even if he asks. Men only ask that question to use it against you. You also shouldn't discuss how many sex partners you've had. You'd think that women would know this, but unfortunately, many don't.
Yes, yes yes the OG girls learn from Michaela pink channel to reinvent your story. Let him know that your daddy spoiled, you--weed out the guys who don’t plan to spoil you.
I also learned this the hard way. You know that “representative” we talk about in dating? Well I had to carefully craft and create one because “hurt me” was attracting the wrong mofos…
Did you just say “negotiated their way onto earth”? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm forever stuck on that!! I'm stealing it!😂😂😂
I was in the middle of cutting vegetables at same time. I had to catch myself😅
Came to comment the exact same thing lol I love that quote
Lmao, that was one of the funniest things I heard this year.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😅
The hair, the glow. You look amazing. Giving “this is my grown woman era”
Okay!
She is smart, fun to listen to, well educated, full of ideas & cute as a bug. I simply DO NOT GET IT>. why hasn't some guy snapped her up??!
Ladies let's start leaving at the first sign of disrespect. Let's start saying to ourselves my husband would never bc the man you marry has the utmost respect for you ❤
Such a huge level of satisfaction when I do, it’s not easy.
I agree. I think the problem for people like Steph though is they lack an abundance mindset. So many times in this story she mentioned she felt like that guy was her last chance. I think in the end, wether we have options or not we always need to be willing to choose the option that is always there - to be alone - over being mistreated
I always say this too when evaluating a man’s behavior- would my husband do this? If not, then I put in no effort. I’m not planning anything, I’m not arguing with or explaining anything to you.
Plenty of women never get married. It has nothing to do with what a hypothetical future husband would do and everything to do with maintaining a good relationship with yourself. No man is worth breaking up with your own self esteem. I think this 'well, some other future guy will be better' mindset really traps women like Steph in a sense of lack.
@@FishareFriendsNotFood972 This this this!!! Maybe instead of my future husband would never, she could get some self esteem and realize she does not deserve this and would never do this shit to herself.
One thing I know for sure: a man that broke and dusty canNOT have any woman he wants. Ridiculous! I’m mad on your behalf.
It's annoying to me that women are still entertaining men who are broke and dusty in this day and age.
@@Pardonmytravel canNOT! I like that:)
How do we know that he was broke? He just didn't want to spend money on her. Why did he have to spend money on her? She knew what it was... He wasn't booking flights to come see her, but he was booking flights to go elsewhere. So why be mad at him when she set up the foundation on quicksand?
@@bebeowens9842she mentioned his living situation was off and he got her a free drink at the establishment he worked at… sounds like he was a charismatic bartender and she was falling for his charm
Based on the story, dude sounded broke
@@bebeowens9842 well, ma’am, he told her he was broke and seems to be living with a girlfriend or something so there are plenty of reasons to dislike him. I have no reason to believe he’s not broke given his profession and location. I understand you want to drag Stephanie but that doesn’t mean he’s a quality man. He isn’t. Put the cape down.
Oh baby, this guy was a whole clown. I hate that you even gave him any of your time. He wasn't broke, he was bored. I heard your voice break as you said I want someone to love me as I am now. We love you Steph. x
*romantic love not any other
@@groawning1345 Yes, we know the difference, but we can still show love to each other. Ok.
Not everyone is lovable in their current state
@@SharonBoo0305 God would say otherwise, so I know you’re speaking about yourself ❤
Nah I think he was broke too… his actions seem like broke man actions
Craving love and companionship can sometimes feel like a curse. I think you were drawn to him because he offered something different-something you weren’t used to. When you’ve dealt with constant disappointment from men and bad dating experiences, even the smallest gesture of love or affection can make us latch on and start idealizing who we want the person to be, rather than who they truly are.
Exactly.
Very well said !
Very true. I've dealt with that myself.
@@Insightful_Locs What did he offer her that was different? She said he never even came to see her. He showed her time and time again that he was not interested in ANYTHING else but "casual physical activity" as she put it, lol.
@@Insightful_Locs so true 😓
Your story telling is artistically poetic
facts. I can listen to steph all day!
Same!
Yes!! More comments like this please.
Yes. So beautiful
Facts. I love her stories. I want her to win.
Also, paying 70% of the cost to go visit a man is crazy especially considering all the red flags about this dude 😅! Glad you didn’t go.
But he wanted her so badly and he was trying!!! 🤦🏻♀️
She never learns.
@ right..Like that man was not trying to do anything but waste her time
No man wastes her time the way she wastes her own time. @@Insightful_Locs
She is one of those women that will never learn. It's also funny to me how she thinks just cause this man will travel to see her is big. Girl, he just sees you as an easy lay. You weren't even in a relationship with this man. He never took you seriously.
He just wanted to sleep with her thats IT!!.
This isn't the first video like this she's done then she stopped cause of people calling her behavior out.i guess her commentary videos aren't doing so great. She just wants clicks and views at this point. Do you Steph..
@@MA-rn2xp nothing but facts spoken. I thought everyone knew “getting flewed out” just meant sex and vacation lol nothing more to it
Steph, I just want to say I feel I have seen you transition throughout your time on UA-cam. I have watched uou give your self more grace and allow yourself to be who you are comfortably.
I........may need to work on that internally instead of externally pointing the finger...this occurred to me recently.
Yes and she’s more confident and unapologetic, love it! ❤
@hellostephco84 I think you should consider doing some shadow work, Heidi Priebe has great videos on it.
This might help you resolve some internal conflicts.
@@hellostephco84 hi...you may have heard this suggestion before...(However, I didn't see it in the 700+ comments that I've reviewed thus far on this specific video) but...have you ever watched Tony Gaskins, Jr. content?
Often times, women go to women to learn about men. But...would it make more sense to go to men to learn about men...? 🤷🏾♀️ He's been married for 16+ years. No scandals. Been a leading figure in the relationship space...and has recently begun offering a matchmaking service for specific clients.
His content is relatable. Bare bones. Raw. Honest. Even the "Lil Dummy" series. The old content is also evergreen. He doesn't pander...everybody gets it how he sees it. Again, he's married with no scandals...has two children...and has coached huge content creators and celebrities. If I'm wanting advice on areas to address, someone who is upright, well-spoken of, and has achieved a long-term marriage with children (if that's my desire), and is the sex of the people I desire to be with seems to be a good resource to explore. The advice is practical...and the gems are everlasting.
You've tried a lot of things...I hope you'll choose to try one more...and perhaps, some of those prior fundamentals that seemed to not work...well, who knows what could happen. Grace and peace to you on your journey. 👏🏾
Ok so much to unpack here: Firstly, as someone who has lived in NYC, if he is a bartender (which it sounds like) he is not too broke to travel. Bartenders make good money in NYC. He just didn’t want to spend his money and thought that if he offered, it would make you feel special but he had no intentions of doing this. Secondly, it sounds to me like he kept doing all the emotional back and forth with you because it was an ego boost for him. It was like a game. He wanted to see just how desperate you were for his attention and how much you would let him come back every time you blocked him. It wasn’t about him being connected to you. You just made him feel special because he was amazed that he could do so little for you and still keep you so attached to him for so long. Men get an ego stroke from this. You gotta learn to cut this stuff of immediately and not live in your fantasy world so much. You create these fantasies about what you’re experiencing with men and it’s not reality.
@MrsTruthTeller this is the absolute brutal truth unfortunately 😔
Bingo 🎤
Truth 🔥
You said exactly what I was thinking. I really think she romanticizes these interactions way too much. She needs to start seeing things for the way they are😢 I feel so sorry for her because this seems like a pattern for her. She keeps repeating the same cycle..
@@Tyleigh-dn4ki I no longer feel sorry for her. She is 40 years old, not 20 years old. At this point, it is a choice and she doesn’t want to become a more emotionally mature person. I used to feel sorry for her too but the more I see her just ignore advice from thousands of people, the more I realize that she is creating her own dating hell and that’s just the way she wants it to be. I have seen her say, in several videos, that she sees people’s responses and she just doesn’t agree. So this is deliberate. At this point, it’s just embarrassing, not sad. I’m afraid that even if she got married, she would be the biggest fool in a marriage too. She just doesn’t get it.
You are showing growth in this video, you chose yourself
Exactly! Hope she realizes this❤
I’m comparing this story from her Friendsgiving story and the tremendous growth she’s made is amazing. Stephanie from that Friendsgiving story would have flown to NY for this useless man. But the Stephanie of now…grown, determined to stand 10 toes down to be at least met halfway financially. I hope she meets a man who meets her 100% of the way.
Girl as a NYer…. Never ever date a man from here and never spend your money to visit them. Most of the men here are barely getting by but pretending they got it. Only a very select few do. It’s not a city of love romance or thoughtfulness just partying and trying to get the most with the least!
As a NYer I agree
@@jamaicancewtie5 As a fellow New Yorker,..."THAT'S A WHOLE FACT!!!".
Exactly, I’m almost sure he lived with a woman…a woman who thinks they are still involved at that.
Brooklynite here!
All the men there do is floss and pretend rich lol😂
@jamaicancewtie5 I wish I had seen this earlier. 😅
You look so pretty.
I feel like she's just getting more and more beautiful with each video. Frfr.
This hairstyle is perfect for her, and she suits less makeup.
The way you said with a straight face “with men who look like they negotiated their way on to earth “ , is SENDING meeee 😂😂😂
You crack me up Steph! 🤣
😊
Girllllll I held my breath so much in this video but when you got to the end and I realized you didn’t go I wanted to cry tears of joy. I am BEYOND proud of you for not subjecting yourself to that.
This! Like to literally watch that internal dialogue / emotional battle that I’m sure many of us have had and to see she inevitably chose herself was absolutely beautiful 💗 *chefs kiss*
You are pretty, funny/quirky, and intelligent. I would love to see you speak more positivity into your life.
Right! She’s so pretty!!! I pray she finds her life partner.
Stephanie, I love your spirit and your content and I’ve been rocking with you since the pretty privilege video. A common theme I’ve noticed is not cutting off men at the first sight of disrespect. That man popping up in your life every month like a bill (which is true since he’s demanding you spend money) is disheartening. You’re so beautiful, youthful, so soft spoken, so eloquent, so full of life and seem like such a great presence to be around. You don’t deserve even half a second of disrespect wrapped up as a gift. The man is trash and you deserve someone who would say “I like you, I’m going to come to see YOU.” I know you’ll find what you’re looking for but you gotta put yourself and your wants first.
shes too old to not have learned these lessons. I actually pity her. I cant imagine being 40 and playing myself like this.
Saw your name and clicked immediately 😌
I wish I could still do emojis, but I can't on this keyboard so imagine this is a heart lol.
Me too!
SAME ❤
Every time 🙌
ME TOOOOO I HOPE SHE TELLS STORIES ABOUT HER LIFEEEEE
Don’t delete this please, just worked a quadruple shift but will be back to watch this ❤
Lmao! You better forgo sleep and watch it now, you know how Steph is 😂
My exact thoughts!!! I hope she doesn’t delete this bc I just got off of a overnight shift and need to sleep lmao
Actions speak louder than words and looks. Doesn’t matter how he looks at you. His actions said everything.
He was no different than the other guys you had met in the past.
From what you described he is a liar, manipulative, broke and is not worthy of your time. You deserve better regardless of what you have dealt with in the past or what society tells you, You are worthy of a man who will be honest, reliable, stay true to his word, treat you with respect, and has his finances in order.
She is absolutely worthy of that kind of man! She is!! She has to realize it deep down and start carrying herself accordingly.
@@LadyK007 And she needs to quit sharing how bad she's been treated by other men. That tells them right there that her value to men is minimal - even if they are not sure why yet. DO NOT let them know that - make them think you are used to the princess treatment because that is what all the other men felt she was worth it. She also should make them COME TO SEE HER, on HER turf.
@@ScottsdaleSushiCriticizing a woman for sharing her struggles with men overlooks the broader systemic issues that many women face, such as being unseen, rejected, or exploited. These experiences aren’t trivial; they deeply shape a person’s confidence, sense of worth, and ability to connect. Instead of blaming women for not hiding their pain, we should acknowledge that their stories reflect societal failures, not personal flaws. Speaking out about these challenges is an act of courage, not weakness, and it highlights the need for empathy and change rather than dismissal.
It makes me kinda sad how you usually down yourself. As long as you trust & believe and speak positively over your life, you will receive ALL of your heart’s desires. Forget these clowns! You’re a beautiful gem, sis.
This!!
Agreed. She has so much going for her but can’t see it.
It was hard to listen to her down herself over the course of this video but I can also understand the circumstances that have led to her feeling this way 😢. I want better for my sis.
This! It always breaks my heart how she speaks about herself and her future. She’s so amazing, so beautiful, so witty and so funny and I don’t understand how a man wouldn’t encounter her and not fall to his knees. And so it sucks that she now sees herself through the lens of the failed romantic encounters and has internalized that as her fate, which it now seems that that’s all she’s attracting.
This individual was mean to you. Nobody deserves to be treated like that talkless of you Steph. Because you seem like a beautiful soul.
45:28 "after all the talk, connection, etc. he wants me to sightsee alone?" All the aforementioned things cost him $0 & zero effort. Hosting you in NY wd cost him $.
When dating, pay close attention to how he spends his resources on you. And respectfully, this man is jobless, so his time spent on the phone doesn't count.
Please only love based on his consistent actions NOT CONNECTION.
Cut any man off at the 1st sign of:
❌️When a man is unemployed
❌️Shouts at you
❌️Mocks you
❌️Avoids spending on you
❌️Asks for pictures too soon
Very valid points I wish I implemented this sooner in my dating life
Thank you for your honesty, despite your pessimism, quite justified as life hasn't treated you well, I believe in your happy end. For some, the good things are in store for later. You're a lovely woman.
I agree! I so desperately want and await for her happy ending.
@@anneb6262most marriages end in divorce, a man is not a plan, men literally drain the life and resources out of women. she should open herself up to dating women if she wants true companionship and love. males do not love women.check out princella clark/high powered podcast
Her self esteem is SO low. She accepts far less than she deserves and she’s letting her past dictate her present. It’s sad, but she has to realize she is worthy and stand on business. Nothing will change until she does. Who wants to be with someone who doesn’t believe in themselves?
When you kept saying that you aren't the type of woman men travel for and travel with etc. I kept thinking to myself how powerful words are and how we create the lives we live so from today onwards you are the kind of woman a man would do all these things for and with❤Oh and by the way I love your videos so much. It doesn't really matter what you speak about I just always enjoy hearing your perspective and how you relate to different things.
Can we also acknowledge that "traveling" for people is overwhelmingly not the norm. Most of us are getting with the folks in our vicinity.
@@alexisidlette-wilson9694
I know a lot of people think what influencers say is the norm, but I don't know a single person who has been flown out by a man. I have had one man fly to see me, and that was my husband coming home from deployment 😂
@@alexisidlette-wilson9694 but honestly sometimes that’s also the problem. Not everyone’s person is in their city or current area. So yes, MOST people get with people within their vicinity, but a lot of those connections are awful so 🤷🏾♀️
That part! Unless you are dating in a high tax bracket it doesnt happen in real life the way social media have people thinking.
Steph, I love you but my jaw is on the floor. This one year situation shouldve have been one month long MAX. We want better for you. Please stop letting singleness drive you into the wrong arms 🥺🙏🏾
Stephanie you have grown! You from the Friendsgiving story would have flown to NY but you now…formidable. I’m so proud of you! Be proud of you. You’re stunning, creative and talented.
Please stop putting yourself down. You’re a gem!
You know what, you’re right. I was about to judge and say, she’s still not learnt but this demonstrates a move in the right direction. We all just want Steph to love herself and pour the amazing love she has, into herself.
@@aishaa927 genuine question and not trying to argue: what would you have gained personally from judging her for her choices? She’s literally just sharing her life experience, so what’s there to judge? I’m sincerely just curious because she always gets so much unsolicited “advice,” so I’m wondering if you do that with ppl in your own life. Again, I’m literally not trying to argue, I’m just trying to understand.
I appreciate you sharing your story with us @stephco ! Your journey is not as uncommon as it may seem, truly. We’re in weird times. You seem like such a nice empath. It sucks that these male low-effort vampires keep crossing your path. Hoping you experience peace and fulfillment in 2025! ❤
Her story is absolutely not uncommon. Most people are just harder on her cuz she’s a late bloomer. A LOT of us made these same mistakes in our late teens/early 20s. Her life cycle just started later but her “mistakes” or choices are actually normal
I agree, I’m watching this video feeling like she’s telling my story lol, tbh I’m going through the same exact situation and I’m older than Steph (early 40s)
“Low effort vampires”😂 love it😂
This for being so brave and sharing this story. I’m 46 and divorced . You story is very common but not a lot of 40 years old are brave like you to tell their truth. Most 30 -40 are not single even the broke ones.
Thank you Stephanie ❤. I love your content you are so intelligent. Insightful and awesome story teller. I could like you tell a story all day. The tone of your voice is also so sweet and calming
Baby this was never a soul tie! I’m so glad you woke up!
Mama, you didn’t miss out on anything special. All that effort to look good and buy tickets to meet a man that just wants to sleep with you is a waste of $$ and time. Don’t overthink what could of happened. Move on.
Hands down the best storyteller on UA-cam
I say this wiith all due respect..Sis you really need to work on your self-esteem. Never tell a guy that he's the first one to do something for you or how badly you're always treated. These guys can smell your insecurities from a mile away. Nobody wants the "charity case." Sorry. Confidence will take you so much further. Even if you have to FAKE it.
Absolutely! I’m very inexperienced myself but saying “I’ve never done this/that before” doesn’t make special in their eyes.
I had a terrible messy toxic situationship that also lasted for a year, except we were geographical close so it was NASTY.
Now I look back on it and recognize the greatest thing he ever did for me was finally leave me alone.
I'm glad you're free too!
Girls! I cannot , I cannot express to you enough, there’s no way to express without living it, but do not let life keep showing you in the hardest ways,which were described in this video. These shenanigans are NOT connection, NOT love , it’s loneliness, lust, desperation and self deprivation! I know, I lived it until I made massive changes in my mind and actions. I met the love of my whole life in 2017, married in 2018 and my husband made it so clear he was here to live life with me that now when I think back it’s with a horrified disbelief in what I allowed for a temporary meaningless rush. Stop. Life is TEMPORARY do not let men play with yours.
I’m loving how frequently you’re posting 😭❤️☺️
Same!
Me too!!
Never try to build anything serious with any man that's still involved with someone else in any way or has "domestic issues" or whatever it was called in the video. He will never take it seriously and/or respect you.
Just... don't.
He wasn’t interested. He just wanted to hit that’s that
with low effort:/
Or was scoping out if Steph would be his sugar momma. From the story he sounded like he was “in between jobs” aka leeching off someone else, probably another romantic partner. Steph is well spoken, attractive. Put together. She definitely looks like the type to attract gold diggers to me.
Exactly what I said. He just wanted to sleep with her and that's it!. Men will do A LOT just to sleep eith you especially if he has a hidden agenda and she's an easy target. I feel bad but bruh she's 40 and still keeps making the same mistakes.?. Come on...
@@kylanc726 the last two sentences are beautiful
The thing is she should have never given him the cookie.She would have realized from earlier that is all he is interested in some men are so evil and will pursue you for years just to eat and go. My advice don't give these men anything until your emotional and spirtual needs are met if not you will be chopped and screwed.
YOUR stories are my faveee!!!! especially dating stories. Your experiences are so much more relatable than you think. I wish you would give yourself more self-compassion and stop being SO HARD on yourself!!! It's hard when you see other women getting the kind of treatment you want, and I totally get it, but I really do think it's possible for you with the right person❤❤
You look beautiful and refreshed ❤
For anyone out there in a similar situation, just remember, how a man presents himself to you at the beginning is the best he’ll ever present himself- if it’s not a great situation, it won’t get better, he’ll definitely get worse.
A man who is serious and intentional (the only reason to get with a man long term) will do his best to come with solutions and options for you or he won’t reach out to you in the beginning, because he knows anything less is disrespectful!
I love videos from you Steph; another insightful watch and a lesson for the viewer to take onboard 🙂❤️ I wish you joy in all areas of your life and abundant financial opportunities too! You’re story telling skills are invaluable in this creative sphere and your pay should reflect that.
Ok I finished the video. I dont want to spook you into not sharing these experiences but as someone who has developed a small parasocial relationship with you I feel called to share my perspective. This man knew exactly what he was doing. It was a mildly entertaining game for him. His default was thoughtlessness and inconsistency with moments of "connection" to pull you back in. You developed limerance with him. Please find the strength and willpower within you to end the connection at the FIRST red flag. Idk if you are listening to yourself but you are accurately pointing out all the red flags which leads me to believe that you knew deep down this was not the person for you. I understand your pain of not having a life partner. Truly I do. I've been done that road. Its scary and painful but allowing these types of ppl into your life is not the way forward. You are a beautiful, smart, funny, kind, genuine human. Im sorry there are so many opportunistic ppl out there who see that and take advantage. Sorry for the long comment but I just really hope you'll read it and make a different choice going forward 💛🌺
that's exactly what i said. i don't think people understand just how often men will purposefully ruin your mental health for entertainment.
@@jiminstinyhands7776💯 yes allowed myself to experience this out of curiousity. And 💯 it is like a bizarre ego boost for them to string someone along purely for their entertainment/boredom. (Avoid "avoidant" men at all costs!)
@@natalierose1072 You are spot on! He got off on playing with her head. Alot of these men are WEIRDOES feeding off of womens' desire for companionship by lovebombing, playing hot and cold etc
yes- limerence!!!! that's exactly it. I just learned about the idea a short while ago. It can be very painful for people to stop the habit but also rewarding. Maybe speak to a therapist about it.
Why was I so anxious for you when you were telling your story because these ppl online can be so nasty and judgmental. I hope this is a better experience for you.
@@klsoaps2209 I think this is one of her worst ones, tbh. I'm worried for her for how the internet will react.
This was soooo painful to watch! You deserve so much better!
She needs to come to believe this. Her actions say she does not.
Putting yourself on a time clock, and rushing to accomplish things before it runs out leads to making decisions that arent thought out and can be detrimental in the short and long term.
I must be dreaming! 🤩 No way we are getting such a long and juicy video! I’m dropping everything to listen NOW
I'm so proud of you for not giving into that fool's manipulative tactics! I hope you find someone who wants to give you the world and make you happy and not just expects you to do everything for him!
I hope for everyone is to not to make their past treatment, failures, or mistakes your total identity. Especially NEVER tell a man youre used to mistreatment.
Sometimes we keep finding ourselves in the same situations or meeting different versions of the same person because there's a lesson we still havent learned.
It's hopeful to hear that Steph is taking steps in tbe right direction. You dont have entertain, give grace, or explain anything to these fools anymore. Youve been there, done that, and got the tshirt.
I burst out laughing at men that look like they had to negotiate their way on Earth. 🤣🤣
Ty for your vulnerability!! Wow! Very real!
So... "not doing hoidays" is a classic f-boy move to remove any expectations of his 'presence' or 'presents'-- smdh
@brandi_w exactly. If a man sees you as "the one" he will paint pictures of holidays with you. Unless he's a love bombing narcissist
this was wild start to finish and I can’t even judge you one bit bc I’ve been in multiple versions of this hell
My sweet baby… I’m pissed FOR you!! PLEASE stop entertaining clowns!!! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 And stop downing yourself!!! 💕 I’ve noticed this as a trend in your videos. You may not think you feel that way but you keep saying it over and over. Accept that you ARE worthy of everything you’re seeking and DO NOT accept ANYTHING less. 💕💕💕
🗣️🗣️🗣️
Hey steph, I just want to say - You ARE the type of woman that men will fly out for. You are THAT girl hold your head up high. Don’t speak negatively on yourself, the way you see yourself becomes your reality. Self image actually shapes who we are. So have a positive self image. Lots of love ❤
"I'm making this man a harvest basket" took me out! 😂😂
Girl you’re glowing!
48 years old now. what I learned in my 30s was the men I was choosing was a direct reflection of how I felt about myself. Once I realize that I worked on how I felt about myself. Only after that did my choices drastically improve
In conclusion, this man did not like you. He showed you this time and time again, but unfortunately you loved the fantasy too much to see it. It’s sad.
I pray lessons have been learned so that you don’t waste another year of your life like this again!
Thank you for sharing your journey so courageously. As a Black man, I can never experience the full extent of your experiences. With that said, I can empathize with your experiences because they are similar to my own. Similar to your experience, I’ve experienced so much apathy, rejection, disrespect, and downright contempt that I have questioned my own value and worth of being enough…and have doubted whether actual reciprocal human love exists in reality or if it does, could it exist for me. I don’t know the full totality of your life but as someone who has just recently received a wonderful spiritual and psychological gift from on High with help from some lovely human friends, I can share it with you and it is this set of truths….what those people did, it is not your fault nor a reflection of you in any way. You are also right to desire love and connection, and you don’t need to earn it and you can never be unworthy of it as long as you have good will. I hope you experience the satisfaction and peace you seek. I have not yet but I hope and pray that we both will in our respective lives.
Beautiful
Thank you for sharing that it's wonderful. Best wishes to you as well.
I truly appreciate your vulnerability and your introspection it is NOT easy to share these type of stories . Also no one is thinking of “why didn’t you go see him?!?!” We are ALL happy that you went to PR!!! We love to see it.
My life changed when I stopped dating people who I was magnetically attracted to (always equalled bad news!) and gave a chance to the guy who was meh at first but was a good guy on paper. We have a slow burn and I'm now so deeply in love with him, and he's the greatest guy I've ever dated ❤️ So freaking greatful!
I wish you'd give dating apps another chance and give some more time to the meh guys who have their shit together. You bever know what could happen! But if you always do what you always did, you're always gunna get what you always got.
Love this‼️ 💯
Steph has said over and over again she doesn’t seem to meet guys with their stuff in order.
@@alexandrahutchinson4516 Maybe she needs to change her dating profile, or the tactic on how she swipes right. You could meet 99 dusties and then the 100th is a good guy. All it takes is 1.
We have to stop dating if our self esteem is not where it should be. It doesn’t lead to good results.
You have a point and definitely stop sleeping with men were aren't married to. Premarital sex will damage the soul.
@ EXACTLY!
@@danilaroche1156 Yes more women are doing that it’s called the 4BMovement!
This. I stopped dating and I’m abstaining from sx. I’ve been dating myself and learning to love myself. I’m not even interested in having a love life.
@ Good for you. That takes strength.
This hit so close to home and had me in tears at certain points. Thank you for sharing this..
I heard this thing the other day on a podcast- It's not that bad men are attracted to you because of your vulnerability or because you give off something that they can sense.. it's that they go to many people, and it's the women without strong boundaries that allow them to treat them badly. I'm not blaming the women at all, but I think it makes for a good mindset shift. Decide on what your boundaries are before going out there. Don't waste your time on people who aren't willing to give you what you need in a relationship.
Similar to me, we've both fantasized about a life for us that we've seen in movies/tv shows and from relationships around us, but we end up so disappointed that it hasn't happened to us, so we take whatever we can get from anyone and anywhere. I was ghosted this past June after a two year situationship with a man that I knew wasn't going to go anywhere, but I didn't want to be alone. I'm still trying to heal from that. I'm unsure if you're in therapy or have a support system around you that's helping you love yourself and be comfortable in your own skin. I have a lot of good things in my life, but I don't have a relationship and it has minimized everything else that's happening in my life.
As a Brooklyn Jamaican/American girl, this sounds like the toxicity of a Caribbean (or African) man. In NYC half, if not most of these men live with a woman who believes they are in a relationship…while the man is going about life single. It’s a good thing you didn’t make the trip. Btw you look great!
As a Haitian/American girl, I know exactly what you’re saying.
As a Jamerican from nyc, I'd believe it. Jamaican, Haitian and most dangerous, the Nigerian. They're too smooth. Run.
American men too
Honestly when I was listening I wondered if he was African 😭😭😭
Negotiating their way on earth is WILD 😂
I cackled in the gym
you are so close to breaking out of this cycle. I cant wait for that video. I'm rooting for you.
Girl you made the right choice. Sounds like he was in a relationship and/or cohabiting with a woman. He chose you because you were far enough to be a side chick and kind enough not to be a problem. He had money-this “relationship” wasn’t important enough for him to spend it on…he was probably spending it on his family at home 🤦🏽♀️ A man who’s interested finds a way. TRUST your intuition! Good job sis 👏🏽👏🏽
Exactly, why he didn't invite her to his place???
@@fantasiazplatkamiliving with someone. Maybe roommates or family or an “ex”
Your transparency and introspection soothes single women like me. Thank you!
It makes me sad because I noticed you engaged into this with the mindset of “I guess I can tolerate this in the name of love”. A serious love interest should add positive aspects to your life and respect you. If not, it’s not worth it, and you don’t deserve such an abusive situation. Im glad you ended up choosing for yourself though. It may have taken some time to find the strength to cut it off, but you managed!
Adding to this, not everything is a sign from the universe. You don’t have to open yourself up to these negative experiences and chase it and see it to the end, please protect yourself once you notice red flags!
I HATE that this is the average kind of man that comes into your life. That man was plain ol cruel to you. You seem like such a nice lady. You don’t deserve any of this BS. I’m mind boggled that this has been your experience! I know you believe that the door to motherhood may be closed, but I pray you get to experience a love that is deserving of your heart. It’s clear you have so much love to give to someone worthy ❤
All the back and forth and fighting and negotiating over your visit was drama that still felt like something to hold on to. Arguing from a distance felt like you had a relationship of some sort instead of nothing. Although you saw all the red flags, you didn't trust your intuition and implement boundaries. Next time trust yourself, if the guy has unclear domestic situation, may not be single, and is not willing to court you, to invest in you, don't waste anymore time on him. I understand it's so disappointing when we want to have a romance, to love on someone and be loved, and when we feel like time is running out. But you are more precious than you think and embellished him. He was enjoying the power he felt over you, how easy he had access to you. In the end he was insulting in his email. Be ready to have him reach out again, but don't romanticise it! Also never tell a man you just met you only got men let you down. Lastly, it's a global problem with men, don't take it personally, it's not because of you of your karma, most men are exploitative and use romance to boost their ego.
I am so proud of you for not accepting to settle for less than the bare minimum. You were more than understanding and tried to compromise and meet Him part of the way. I think he was giving just enough to string you along and make you think there was potential. This is why breaking things down to a person’s actions and believing who they are when they show you who they are is so important in keeping clarity and giving yourself a reality check. Consistency is key if either party can not keep a level of consistency to the version they showed of themselves in the beginning then it was never there to begin with.
I appreciate where you are in life. Fairy tales aren't real and more of us need to be reminded of that.
Going to PR was definitely the BETTER decision.
You are better than your actions. We've all been there but honey.. STAND UP! Don't play about yourself like this no more.
I know you sacrifice a lot emotionally to give us these dating stories, but I needed to hear this, just as a reminder. I’ve had a couple of situations like this, and I now realize the reason I entertained them was because some part of me liked that chaos. Whew! I’m so glad I let it go! Hearing you talk about yours made me realize just how foolish I was back then, and that’s no slight to you, friend. One of mine I had never even slept with and we still were acting like this; I can’t even blame it on the 🍆. Anyway, glad you didn’t give in and go see him. It would have been a disaster!
HUNTY, getting a man is not progress🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. You have grown in many ways as a creator. We love the growth we have seen.. Keep shining!
I promise I’m listening to you, but the bombshell hair and fresh face is just everything !!😍💕
I’m sure I speak for many of us when I say I’m very grateful that you continue to share this part of yourself in a way that feels safe for you, and I appreciate that you allowed us over here on UA-cam to hear this one. Much love!!
Thank you for sharing this story and please don’t stop! Don’t feel like you owe anyone a “good news” story. I actually like hearing stories that don’t have a happy-ending as they’re so relatable to me and make me feel less alone when I struggle. Social media is already full of people only posting the highlight reels of their lives
Facts
She’ll probably stop sharing on UA-cam because a lot of commenters are self-righteous and condescending and think they know steph better than she does and love giving her “advice” she doesn’t ask for.
Lmao at "How much stupider can it get?" You're so close to finding your person. As soon as you go back outside, you're going to meet him. I love that for you.
Yesss we love this for her. Next time she is at an event she will meet a good one 1️⃣
“I couldn’t man up because I shouldn’t have to” A WORD. You made such a good decision.
This is really sad. He was never interested. He just played with your emotions loved ur attention
There is hope! You gotta switch it up. My gf had your same experience and got engaged over the weekend after a year of dating just before her 40th birthday. Ultimately, she had to be honest about why she attracted the same type of men, have self control, purge and maintain an open mind. There isn’t a perfect everything.
Most of the time, we hurt ourselves. Guy was clear from the beginning buy you chose not to believe him.
I just watched this all the way through and let me say. You are a master storyteller and your ability to be vulnerable is a gift. You could have a career in writing for Hollywood, seriously.
Steph, there’s absolutely no one on UA-cam that i will listen to for 1 hour (or even 20 min) except for your story times. You have such an amazing, phenomenal gift and coveted skill at storytelling that I wish I could just buy bottles of it off the store shelves…. So glad you snatched the cord of your precious energy back from that loser. He definitely didn’t deserve a beautiful human being such as you!
Thank you for sharing and I genuinely think you should spend some time with a therapist cos this takes a toll on the mind. ❤️❤️❤️
However, I genuinely think this person did not want a relationship with you or see you as a relationship potential. He never put in any work that even indicated you were important to him. I believe he enjoyed the back and forth. The drama, the lusty email etc. But I don’t think he was ever really committed. You saw potential and he seemed to fulfil a dramatic need for himself. He will be back first of December or around the holidays and I pray you have the strength to not interact with him. ❤️
Spot on!
Your true vulnerability and openness in sharing is phenomenal. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing. I’m sorry that it didn’t work out the way that you hoped it would.
I’m glad you didn’t go see him. If I had to guess, he was probably in a relationship, because it’s never a good sign when a man doesn’t want you coming around out of the blue. Also you mentioned him being between jobs at some point, so whoever he’s living with was also likely supporting him. These kind of situations are super common unfortunately.
I’m glad that at least you weren’t impacted financially by shelling out a bunch of money for a trip.
Just remember you aren’t alone in this terrible romantic journey. Sometimes the stories you tell have been nearly identical to things I’ve experienced.