Excellent content and description. Thank you! It is so depressing that they actually enjoy hurting people. I honestly have such a hard time understanding how another "human being" can do that.
Narcs really aren't fully developed humans. Parts of their brains didn't develop due to abuse/neglect. They are MENTALLY ILL. There's not much else to try to understand. They are a cancer. I hope you have been able to move on, dear. You're human, they're damaged animals looking for prey and validation.
It’s called pleasure cruelty. Remember, these people are disordered. It has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them, they do it to EVERYONE.
Mine gave me a "smirk" while telling me about all his extra marital affairs. We had moved from everything and everyone we knew and it took ONE YEAR for his mask to completely come off. ONE YEAR for a 13 year relationship to be completely uprooted. I was so unprepared...FYI- Social media makes it happen faster and I am afraid generations will know nothing more than to be idolized by people they never meet.
Katie, I just wanted to stop by and tell you I know the Devil Smirk Very Well. My Ex Toxic Narc Girlfriend showed me that when I exposed her for who she really is the Devils Daughter. I will never forget the Betrayal. And will never let them bac into our space ever. We live in the true Light they live in the True DARKNESS. Stay well Katie.
Social media has ruined dating and people actually looking forward to getting to know someone by talking on the phone and meeting in person in the beginning. I feel sorry for my kids ....😞
100% true! That fcking smirk! Yes, social media only enables these damaged individuals even more. I dread to think what society will be like in 10 years time!
Mine discarded the day before we were supposed to move in together in a different city. No regard was taken by the narcissist in asking how I was to arrange my move after the catastrophe he caused. Regardless of his actions, I saw him for what he was. I act indifferent and did not give him a single chance to see if he did or did not have an impact on me. Strange enough, I feel bad for him. He will never be happy.
This connection moves fast!! Love bombing is everything you ever wanted. They do idolize you in the beginning. They crave a reaction from you, weather it's good or bad. Fully turned my world upside down. Loss of energy, depleted and lost my confidence. I also saw narc traits in myself and made the necessary changes. I also watched my reactions and pulled my energy back in. They came at me with full force with love bombing then cutting me off then love bombing. So I had to learn to pretty much get out of my head and to pull my energy back to myself esp when I could feel the pull. He was on my mind 247. But I had to let those thoughts be there, like let them come and go. Overtime, you become fully enlightened. So really, in the end. It's truly a gift to yourself. Because you are out of your head and become one with everything else. It's like a slingshot to enlightenment.
Wow, you really get it!! Importantly, you have awareness of your own traits, how to improve, and protect your energy. I completely agree that by experiencing it, we can grow so much, even if it was a painful lesson!
@@joebhouse ❤❤ It is and one of the hardest anyone can go through. If you don't know what your really dealing with and how it keeps you attached, your going to end up stuck in the loop and for some it is tormenting and painful. That's how it was for me. You cannot hate them or seek revenge or any intention to get them back or call them names or judge them in any way. You got to accept who they are and keep moving forward, pulling yourself back into the moment all the time. I love your voice and the way you explain it. It keeps the audience right to the end and everything you say is on point.
I'm sooo glad you have been able to move on from your narc experience!! Yes, they cause devastation, but now that we are enlightened, we can move onward in strength. While they are still soulless cowards, wretched animals. It will only become harder and harder for them to get supply with time and age. We, however, can have love, joy, peace. We are not defined by how humans treat us. Stay strong!! God loves you!
They are evil creatures. I married one, and he started devaluation right after we got married...I had no idea what was happening. Then he became extremely physically abusive, to the point where I was terrified and thought he might kill me. He talked about stalking, etc. I was trauma bonded, and afraid it would be more dangerous to leave. My health took a decline...then he became abusive with our animal, I started planning my escape. Twice the police did noy believe me nor care, they were seriously of no help. I think he sensed i had pulled away from him emotionally, the discard came shortly after. I was so numb, but i managed to act upset (you could tell this made him sadistically gleeful!)...so i left, ignored his hoover attempts, filed for divorce (the case number literally ends in 666) i relocated for my safety, get counseling for ptsd....this guy...he goes to my family members and plays the suicidal victim, supposedly remourseful and crying. They actually feel bad for him! I told them he tried to kill me , he beat me, apparently i seem...unhinged. so, they feel bad for my abuser and start hanging out with him to comfort him. He is 39...he targets their 19 year old daughter (who is emotionally delayed, btw) takes her virginity, and they just had a baby while our divorce is being finalized! And now he has her isolated from her family! And they post how they are so in love on social media! I seriously left the state and had to cut contact with not only him, but a handful of my own blood relatives! And now i worry he will physically abuse her and/or their new child??
Unfortunately you can't do anything other than pray that she opens her eyes to truth. The family opened the door and invited Satan in and sacrificed their daughter.
My ex narc pushed the gas on discarding me while I was battling a debilitating disease & being the best mom I could possibly be in this situation. I moved to his city with my children because he had convinced me our long distance relationship wasn't going to continue to work. I flipped my life upside down and he promised to be there for me. He began the devalue almost immediately. I knew nothing about narcissism. He used my state of health to manipulate me with ease. I was in a constant fog, ill and fighting for my life. He sabatoged my healthcare. I truly believe that he was hoping that I would die quickly. After a 4yr relationship, I had finally figured him out. A light bulb went off. He was chipping away at my self esteem & my hope. My drive to survive as long as possible was widdled away. After a rage fit at the end of a medical appointment, he disappeared for 9 days. At this point I knew he had new supply lined up & there was nothing left to hang on to. He was slowly killing me. I went no contact and I'm finding peace again. I only wish he wouldn't have stolen so much of my time & energy. He's a monster and I'm thankful I saw the light before it was too late.
Best wishes to you 💛 They really are monsters. Unless you've experienced them, you wouldn't conceive it to be possible!!! The mind bending nature of it all is other worldly ✌️
This is so insightful and accurate. Thank you for confirming what I had felt for a very long time. Thanks for giving me a language and a framework to understand the intricacies of this complex trait. The only thing I would add is that the devaluation stage and discard I think can also be related to the fact that the target is often starting to work out that the ideal image they were sold at the beginning of their relationship does not match the person they are now entangled with. I believe the narcissist starts to sense when their "perfect" act is no longer possible to sustain, and instead of being comfortable enough in their own skin, to admit it and own it, they need to start finding external reasons why they have changed. And so begins the push and pull of the devaluation stage which eventually leads to the discard when they can sense they are fully outed. They know they have been found out for who they really are, and that their target is nearing walking away from them. This would be far too painful to accept, so they will discard you first and try to hurt you as much as they can in the process. This I believe is because since you are going to be on the discard pile anyway, they may aswell experiment seeing someone else hurt as much as they are inside. I believe this is the sole reason the discard acts as a supply. Because in a world full of people they perceive not to fit in with, during a discard stage, they can feel like someone else is feeling the pain they feel on the inside. This I also feel brings with it a feeling of confirmation to themselves, that their true inner self is unlovable . They will do this over and over. To lovers and family members and friends and employers. It's the most hurtful thing to stand back and watch when it's someone you love.
This is the best explanation of the discard that I have heard, really put into layman's terms. It helps me to understand the 8 year relationship I was in. I feel after being out for 15 months No Contact whatsoever there were many devaluations and discards and it helps to understand that is was all about "supply" it still hurts to be treated like this and thrown away Ike trash. It's also like the lesson is yours to learn and that many wonderful positive survivors and coaches are there to help you heal, you are not alone. Thank you Joe ♥️.
Yes, it does hurt to be thrown away and treated like trash by the narc. They are trying to make you feel as worthless as THEY feel inside. Don't fall for it!! It's just a fake attack. You ARE worthy, while they are NOT. I'm glad you're taking time to heal. Please spread the word and warn others. One day there won't much supply left for them.
The discard is primarily a way to rebalance the power dynamics. When you cannot supply all of their needs, the narc senses that he is losing the power and tries to shift it solely into his favor so that you literally become his slave. Discard is not the end - it is the beginning of the new cycle. However, ironically, the narc only respects the strong personalities who can up and leave, so they discard their doormats again and again because they quickly bore them.
✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️'s....off to every emotional level with these types. Joe your style of giving us validation reminds me of myself during the horrible experience with them. Until the mask came off. Thanks again you are a blessing to us
Is this why when I try to have a conversation he up and leaves for the day or night not calling or anything. Just showing back up whenever they want to come back? First 2 years were great! Past 2.5 years living together have been chaotic. I feel like I’m always in the wrong, I’m always the bad guy.
The hardest thing to wrap my head can’t grasp is the evil take down of hits like your in a ring with Connor mcgreggor it kills me his devestion he has done to me n my family I’m barely crawling with a chronic illness my son that just died n now I’m homeless n have zero energy or reason to want to live anymore! Everyday is a challenge n hardship n can’t barely focus or function but I pray something will change
You are the candy wrapper. Once the sweet stuff has been eaten you are callously thrown away.You are then left searching for answers, gutted.. Its not until the hover u recognise the cycle. Every discard has its own sting, even if anticipated. youtube channels like yours help survivers know they are not mad or at fault🙏
@@daniellejones2978 thats it gaslight you.."im sorry u are/were confused about our relationship" after they promised the world and then changed their mind
My exes last ditch efforts was to clean my carpet sadly that’s all he ever did for me in six yrs n I’d say that he was on crack or meth the way he cleaned it with his toothbrush for days
Cause the new person doesn't know what they're dealing with. But i. My case shes just azz toxic as ge is they are two of a kind to nasty and toxic Devils together how long will that last nit ling thats when you get the stalking cause they know the fbuo but uts too dam late they wiil f with anybody... Niw in hiding cause they're ashamed and embarrassed I vomited when I knew whi he cheated on me for
Lovely Drew, They know execly what they are dooing with you. They know that you love them. They know what you gives the most pain. You have told them everything and they told you nothing. They have makes you addicted to them. And then for a little ..... , you have give them their pain. That can only 5 minutes for yourself beeing. And than a discard. Very painfull for you. Not for them. But they know that you gooing back, by your addictment. This is their play. If you thst not dooing very faster they hoover you. But let them go and look never back. Their play goes wierder and harder, so that they can say that you are the crazy one and not them. Go for your own live how difficult it is. After a few years it's gooing better with you. 10:14
Excellent content and description. Thank you! It is so depressing that they actually enjoy hurting people. I honestly have such a hard time understanding how another "human being" can do that.
Thank you! Try not to understand, because you won't. It's more a matter of acceptance, then focus on doing what's best for you!
@@joebhouse Getting there, step by step, thanks to you 😊
Narcs really aren't fully developed humans. Parts of their brains didn't develop due to abuse/neglect.
They are MENTALLY ILL.
There's not much else to try to understand. They are a cancer.
I hope you have been able to move on, dear. You're human, they're damaged animals looking for prey and validation.
Exactly, they have no soul and are no longer human. Mind blowing stuff
It’s called pleasure cruelty. Remember, these people are disordered. It has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them, they do it to EVERYONE.
Mine gave me a "smirk" while telling me about all his extra marital affairs. We had moved from everything and everyone we knew and it took ONE YEAR for his mask to completely come off. ONE YEAR for a 13 year relationship to be completely uprooted. I was so unprepared...FYI- Social media makes it happen faster and I am afraid generations will know nothing more than to be idolized by people they never meet.
Katie, I just wanted to stop by and tell you I know the Devil Smirk Very Well. My Ex Toxic Narc Girlfriend showed me that when I exposed her for who she really is the Devils Daughter. I will never forget the Betrayal. And will never let them bac into our space ever. We live in the true Light they live in the True DARKNESS. Stay well Katie.
Social media has ruined dating and people actually looking forward to getting to know someone by talking on the phone and meeting in person in the beginning. I feel sorry for my kids ....😞
Seen that “smirk” many times!
Creepy
100% true! That fcking smirk! Yes, social media only enables these damaged individuals even more. I dread to think what society will be like in 10 years time!
I know that exact smirk! 15 years of thinking he was sick with CPTSD
I now have that smirk tattooed on my hand to remind me evil lurks around the corner
Mine discarded the day before we were supposed to move in together in a different city. No regard was taken by the narcissist in asking how I was to arrange my move after the catastrophe he caused. Regardless of his actions, I saw him for what he was. I act indifferent and did not give him a single chance to see if he did or did not have an impact on me.
Strange enough, I feel bad for him. He will never be happy.
The narcissist discarded me the month after my father died. Despicable.
CLASSIC Narc through and through
This connection moves fast!!
Love bombing is everything you ever wanted. They do idolize you in the beginning.
They crave a reaction from you, weather it's good or bad.
Fully turned my world upside down. Loss of energy, depleted and lost my confidence.
I also saw narc traits in myself and made the necessary changes.
I also watched my reactions and pulled my energy back in. They came at me with full force with love bombing then cutting me off then love bombing. So I had to learn to pretty much get out of my head and to pull my energy back to myself esp when I could feel the pull.
He was on my mind 247. But I had to let those thoughts be there, like let them come and go.
Overtime, you become fully enlightened.
So really, in the end. It's truly a gift to yourself. Because you are out of your head and become one with everything else. It's like a slingshot to enlightenment.
Wow, you really get it!!
Importantly, you have awareness of your own traits, how to improve, and protect your energy.
I completely agree that by experiencing it, we can grow so much, even if it was a painful lesson!
@@joebhouse ❤❤
It is and one of the hardest anyone can go through. If you don't know what your really dealing with and how it keeps you attached, your going to end up stuck in the loop and for some it is tormenting and painful. That's how it was for me.
You cannot hate them or seek revenge or any intention to get them back or call them names or judge them in any way. You got to accept who they are and keep moving forward, pulling yourself back into the moment all the time.
I love your voice and the way you explain it. It keeps the audience right to the end and everything you say is on point.
I'm sooo glad you have been able to move on from your narc experience!! Yes, they cause devastation, but now that we are enlightened, we can move onward in strength. While they are still soulless cowards, wretched animals. It will only become harder and harder for them to get supply with time and age. We, however, can have love, joy, peace. We are not defined by how humans treat us. Stay strong!! God loves you!
While they do NOTHING as you improve yourself. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Ewe.
This explains the impact then of no contact.
But sometimes it’s fun to talk at em and play up your life and act unscathed by their disorder.
I hear ya. Sometimes gotta give em a taste of their own medicine.
They are evil creatures. I married one, and he started devaluation right after we got married...I had no idea what was happening. Then he became extremely physically abusive, to the point where I was terrified and thought he might kill me. He talked about stalking, etc. I was trauma bonded, and afraid it would be more dangerous to leave. My health took a decline...then he became abusive with our animal, I started planning my escape. Twice the police did noy believe me nor care, they were seriously of no help. I think he sensed i had pulled away from him emotionally, the discard came shortly after. I was so numb, but i managed to act upset (you could tell this made him sadistically gleeful!)...so i left, ignored his hoover attempts, filed for divorce (the case number literally ends in 666) i relocated for my safety, get counseling for ptsd....this guy...he goes to my family members and plays the suicidal victim, supposedly remourseful and crying. They actually feel bad for him! I told them he tried to kill me , he beat me, apparently i seem...unhinged. so, they feel bad for my abuser and start hanging out with him to comfort him. He is 39...he targets their 19 year old daughter (who is emotionally delayed, btw) takes her virginity, and they just had a baby while our divorce is being finalized! And now he has her isolated from her family! And they post how they are so in love on social media! I seriously left the state and had to cut contact with not only him, but a handful of my own blood relatives! And now i worry he will physically abuse her and/or their new child??
Wow, mine was twisted too but we both know how that is going to go. Poor girl!
Unfortunately you can't do anything other than pray that she opens her eyes to truth. The family opened the door and invited Satan in and sacrificed their daughter.
My ex narc pushed the gas on discarding me while I was battling a debilitating disease & being the best mom I could possibly be in this situation. I moved to his city with my children because he had convinced me our long distance relationship wasn't going to continue to work. I flipped my life upside down and he promised to be there for me. He began the devalue almost immediately. I knew nothing about narcissism. He used my state of health to manipulate me with ease. I was in a constant fog, ill and fighting for my life. He sabatoged my healthcare. I truly believe that he was hoping that I would die quickly. After a 4yr relationship, I had finally figured him out. A light bulb went off. He was chipping away at my self esteem & my hope. My drive to survive as long as possible was widdled away. After a rage fit at the end of a medical appointment, he disappeared for 9 days. At this point I knew he had new supply lined up & there was nothing left to hang on to. He was slowly killing me. I went no contact and I'm finding peace again. I only wish he wouldn't have stolen so much of my time & energy. He's a monster and I'm thankful I saw the light before it was too late.
I went through the same exact thing. I'm a cancer survivor. He was worse than the cancer. Sending healing thoughts on your journey of recovery.❤️👍
@@livinggood6876 ❤
Best wishes to you 💛
They really are monsters. Unless you've experienced them, you wouldn't conceive it to be possible!!!
The mind bending nature of it all is other worldly ✌️
He lived rent free in my house my vehicle my body n my mind! I feel so stupid that I knew better but couldn’t escape
It's like they cast a spell over you. You're not stupid. It's just that your heart is pure 💛
This is so insightful and accurate. Thank you for confirming what I had felt for a very long time. Thanks for giving me a language and a framework to understand the intricacies of this complex trait.
The only thing I would add is that the devaluation stage and discard I think can also be related to the fact that the target is often starting to work out that the ideal image they were sold at the beginning of their relationship does not match the person they are now entangled with.
I believe the narcissist starts to sense when their "perfect" act is no longer possible to sustain, and instead of being comfortable enough in their own skin, to admit it and own it, they need to start finding external reasons why they have changed.
And so begins the push and pull of the devaluation stage which eventually leads to the discard when they can sense they are fully outed. They know they have been found out for who they really are, and that their target is nearing walking away from them. This would be far too painful to accept, so they will discard you first and try to hurt you as much as they can in the process. This I believe is because since you are going to be on the discard pile anyway, they may aswell experiment seeing someone else hurt as much as they are inside.
I believe this is the sole reason the discard acts as a supply. Because in a world full of people they perceive not to fit in with, during a discard stage, they can feel like someone else is feeling the pain they feel on the inside.
This I also feel brings with it a feeling of confirmation to themselves, that their true inner self is unlovable .
They will do this over and over. To lovers and family members and friends and employers. It's the most hurtful thing to stand back and watch when it's someone you love.
You have explained what happens in the deval and discard, very well.
Your videos are exceptional!
This is the best explanation of the discard that I have heard, really put into layman's terms. It helps me to understand the 8 year relationship I was in. I feel after being out for 15 months No Contact whatsoever there were many devaluations and discards and it helps to understand that is was all about "supply" it still hurts to be treated like this and thrown away Ike trash. It's also like the lesson is yours to learn and that many wonderful positive survivors and coaches are there to help you heal, you are not alone. Thank you Joe ♥️.
Yes, it does hurt to be thrown away and treated like trash by the narc. They are trying to make you feel as worthless as THEY feel inside. Don't fall for it!!
It's just a fake attack. You ARE worthy, while they are NOT. I'm glad you're taking time to heal. Please spread the word and warn others. One day there won't much supply left for them.
@@JaxCover thank you so much for your comments 💪🙏💯
The discard is primarily a way to rebalance the power dynamics. When you cannot supply all of their needs, the narc senses that he is losing the power and tries to shift it solely into his favor so that you literally become his slave. Discard is not the end - it is the beginning of the new cycle. However, ironically, the narc only respects the strong personalities who can up and leave, so they discard their doormats again and again because they quickly bore them.
✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️'s....off to every emotional level with these types.
Joe your style of giving us validation reminds me of myself during the horrible experience with them.
Until the mask came off.
Thanks again you are a blessing to us
The discard is your freedom.
Every video it goes like ✔✔✔✔✔
Thank you Joe❣🌻
this was impressively accurate
DO AS I SAY NOT AS I DO😂
Is this why when I try to have a conversation he up and leaves for the day or night not calling or anything. Just showing back up whenever they want to come back? First 2 years were great! Past 2.5 years living together have been chaotic. I feel like I’m always in the wrong, I’m always the bad guy.
Well-explained - many thanks, Joe! 👏🙂🤗
Thanks Carol 😀😊
The hardest thing to wrap my head can’t grasp is the evil take down of hits like your in a ring with Connor mcgreggor it kills me his devestion he has done to me n my family I’m barely crawling with a chronic illness my son that just died n now I’m homeless n have zero energy or reason to want to live anymore! Everyday is a challenge n hardship n can’t barely focus or function but I pray something will change
You are the candy wrapper. Once the sweet stuff has been eaten you are callously thrown away.You are then left searching for answers, gutted.. Its not until the hover u recognise the cycle. Every discard has its own sting, even if anticipated. youtube channels like yours help survivers know they are not mad or at fault🙏
Sure coz they will make you feel so bad, it’s all our fault after all
@@daniellejones2978 thats it gaslight you.."im sorry u are/were confused about our relationship" after they promised the world and then changed their mind
So informative! Thank you, Joe!!!!
This behavior is so horrible, diabolica, demonistic satanic 😢😢😢
Fabulous.! I am enthralled
Wow you are so right on point. Exactly what I went through. Explained very well.
Thanks, Joe!
It was a blessing 😂
My exes last ditch efforts was to clean my carpet sadly that’s all he ever did for me in six yrs n I’d say that he was on crack or meth the way he cleaned it with his toothbrush for days
mean hurting thoughts to hurt others going on in the mind not just being upset but really in an evil way? is this what im hearing you say?
Cause the new person doesn't know what they're dealing with. But i. My case shes just azz toxic as ge is they are two of a kind to nasty and toxic Devils together how long will that last nit ling thats when you get the stalking cause they know the fbuo but uts too dam late they wiil f with anybody... Niw in hiding cause they're ashamed and embarrassed I vomited when I knew whi he cheated on me for
@ 666 likes!
Ty Joe 🕊️✨🙏🪽🫶
The Grand Finale!!!
Can the discard happen more than once with a narcissist? It seems like it to me in my current situation?! 👀🥴🤣
Sure, if you go out and return when he wants you back and discard for 2nd .. 3rd... 4th (etc) time 😂
Are they just on auto pilot and understand the end game from the beginning including the hoover?
Lovely Drew,
They know execly what they are dooing with you. They know that you love them. They know what you gives the most pain. You have told them everything and they told you nothing. They have makes you addicted to them. And then for a little ..... , you have give them their pain. That can only 5 minutes for yourself beeing. And than a discard. Very painfull for you. Not for them. But they know that you gooing back, by your addictment. This is their play. If you thst not dooing very faster they hoover you. But let them go and look never back. Their play goes wierder and harder, so that they can say that you are the crazy one and not them.
Go for your own live how difficult it is. After a few years it's gooing better with you. 10:14