One of the things I hate the most is when people tell me "I call you later" and don't even consider to tell the exact time when they're planning to call, so I have to nervously sit with my phone waiting for it to call at any moment
Yeahhh, I worked myself around that, In my case it's an answering machine, so I don't have to be there. So I NEVER wait by the phone, but yes, when service plans to come by, I'm stuck at home, because they need me to open the door. As well, if it annoys you enough, it would seem to be wise to knock yourself into another way of thinking being applied to it. Though I have no cause to do it myself, what might work, and it would take some practice to get you out of the usual routine, but when they say that instantly, and I mean instantly, say no, just to keep them from hanging up. Then elaborate, that not giving you at least a ballpark figure doesn't work, as you don't want to be slave to your phone possibly all day long. Of course they'll probably still be a drip and not stick to the figure they gave you, or blame their wrong prediction on the inevitable "something else came up". You see, it's all about giving themselves freedom, and taking yours away.
@@InternetLiJoI haven't experienced that yet. In all fairness, I'm usually sent to locations as a fixer. My experiences have dealt with systems, structures, and behaviors that are broken in some way. In my experiences, the person saying it is usually the person that has been key to the creation of whatever the malfunction is. They use it as a smokescreen to redirect when they want to hide something.
The counter argument is when corporate comes in with a 'one-size-fits-all solution' and says, "I know you've always done it this way, but this is how we want you to do it from now on." And it's like, the only reason we do it the way we do is because this is the best way given the extraneous circumstances (like location, demographic, and available resources) -- literally the result of years of optimization. You can't just come in and be like, "fuck everything you know about your job and what works, do what we say because we need to look better for investors."
I, another intj, can't stand: -People who like to add activities to a process for the sole reason to appear busy, like those who schedule meetings to discuss a meeting. I find myself zoning out when forced into those mindnumbing situations. -Narcissistic manipulators that like to tell others what they feel or think; if someone tells you what you think/feel, and stifles your creativity, run away. -Small talk within shallow social events and insincerity. Just an overall time waster, I could have said or done something actually substantial elsewhere. -Herd mentality/political emotionalism. When a problem may have a solution but folks ignore a solution, as it may be unpopular. Just to name a few!
Ahh yes I hate those things too! Although the small talk I have gotten used to. I hate busy work, hate when people make up things to do that don't need to be done just to feel productive. I put effort in for the payoff, not to avoid feeling lazy. And hate people telling me what I think/feel too... The worst is someone saying they know you better than you know yourself, but then they're not even right about what you're thinking or feeling 🙄. And emotionally driven politics yeah that sucks. Honestly even most political ideologies bother me... I'm mostly just interested in what's ACTUALLY effective... the proof is in the results. Not what would work in some ideal world that doesn't exist where everyone cooperates perfectly.
I strongly disagree with the second point. In fact, I encourage people to be more vocal about their opinion, but the important point here is that they should not put up a show. These people may be having genuine doubts and clarifications about the idea which needs care. These are the team members who will be working with us, they have every right to say what they think because at the end of the day these results are their results. In fact, disagreements are important to stimulate real creativity, I would go as far as to say a team without disagreements is a dysfunctional team.
@@tangible959 I think there is a misunderstanding here. Person A telling Person B how Person A feels= good. Person A telling Person B how Person B feels/should feel= AWFUL. This awful behaviour is what we are talking about now, and I sincerely hate it too. Nobody should ever tell me how I suppose to feel - other INTJ
@@Siansonea While I do not agree with arrogance, I do appreciate the weak human condition that can cause one to 'brag' or become arrogant based on their personal high achievements...aka merit.
@@elmoomle4565 I'm sorry, but if a person's merits don't speak for themselves, if the person has to lord it over others to attain some kind of feeling of validation or whatever...I'm just not impressed. That's some pretty adolescent stuff happening there.
I HATE this with a passion. When people put words in my mouth or assume they know how I will act in a certain situation, especially if they're saying I would act in a way that is against my principles, for example "if I told you all the things you did wrong, you would just deny it". This is the complete opposite way I would react because I actively encourage others to call me out, so to tell me how I would react is incredibly disrespectful. They're basically calling me a bad person, as if they know what goes on inside my head and my thought processes. Additionally, it's an absolute statement on something they didn't bother to gather any data on, which means it's pretty much guaranteed to be inaccurate. It is the least respectable of statements one could possibly make and I despise it.
This 1000%. I am always like ask. You don't have to guess. Save us both the headache and inquire or leave me alone. I have got garlic bread to the think about. 🙆
1:People telling me how i feel ("Oh she's just mad") 2: Liars. I, however find it a bit amusing when I know they're lying yet they still maintain the audacity to lie. 3: THE NOISES PEOPLE MAKE WHEN THE EAT. They words you are reading can't even begin to covey the rage I feel when people make those noises... Misophonia, look it up. 4:Having to repeat myself 5:People who talk just to hear noise. Just be quiet, nobody asked. 6: Not being given a choice or right to decide. 7: People who continue to repeat thing over and over again.
I would add emotions to number 3. As an INTJ woman, I find it hard that many people just assume that all women are emotional so if I show ANY emotion at all, to them it’s just like - oh big deal, a woman is being a woman. While in reality if I do display some sort of emotion, then you better freaking taking it seriously. If I’m crying, there’s a damn good reason behind it, don’t take it lightly, I don’t just cry because of some little unimportant thing. If I (attempt to) display anger, better freaking pay attention because I really can’t hold it anymore.
@@InternetLiJo that really is. when i FINALLY display impatience, as a male, it's like a big deal. i'm normally thoughtful, patient, and (organizationally) fix my own problems. but when i've finally had enough, i pretty much zoom from pissed off to defiant and start fixing things in my own way. that gets noticed... they usually get over it though, and it hasn't gotten me fired in over 20 years at different companies. cuz i'm right. it needed to be done.
Because we are. If an INTJ decides to talk about something we've spent away more time than your average person looking into said subject and the only way you can prove us wrong is having more knowledge on the subject than we have.
That is so true!! I got myself three plants a little over a month ago - a bonsai, a cactus and a normal plant- and guess what I dehydrated the bonsai and soaked the cactus and my last plant is barely alive
When I'm asked about a current project...and I explain what's going on and the only reply I get is..."that's nice" without any appreciation for the intense engineering and logistical planning that made it happen...so it's like you just made me explain myself and you have no idea what I'm talking about...
This! Or they ask you a question, which does not have a simple answer. You commence explaining. Then they cut you off part way through the explanation and say 'can you give me the short version?' - NO!
@@Gaze73 no, UA-cam is good, it's not a waste of time or energy, unless you watch cat videos or those meme compilations. I, for example, learned to be plumber, electrician and carpenter on UA-cam.
People that can talk for hours and never go to the point. I can't deal with that. And I'm agree with the waste of energy and words, it makes me mad when i have to repet all that i just said.
Had a boss, you’d ask him a simple question, he’d take you on a journey. Got so tired of it I told him to get to the point. He hated that, and me to be honest, but I’d made myself to be indispensable. Spent six months explaining everything via text after I’d left.
I also dislike gossip, not because it's a waste of time, but because it is mean-spirited and obviously designed to make the person spreading the gossip feel better about themself by tearing someone else down. Also I'm ISFP, so I see things in a slightly different way than INTJ.
I had a friend who would constantly badmouth my other friend to me (they weren't frenemies, they hardly interacted). She genuinely could not compute why I wanted her to stop doing it, and it put me in an awkward and unpleasant position.
For me, when people say "what?" halfway through something I am saying, I stop talking and stare at them. Just...why. If it happens more then once, I just give up. Not worth it. Clearly, you don't want to hear. Stop asking me to repeat myself.
I relate to that. People always call me psycho or stupid when I just stare at them after they ask “what?” That’s one of the reasons I rarely talk to anyone.
This kind of video is valuable to me because my wife hears what you're saying and understands me a little better. I can tell her about a concept (like respecting the process) all day, but she doesn't get it. I then make her watch you for 5 minutes, and her eyes widen and she says, "Is that how you feel?!?" Thank you LiJo!!!Your content has made a positive impact on our lives.
@@_--Reaper--_ she scored ENFP but doesn't own it. She feels closer to center and is fairly noncommittal. She just told me she feels like she falls between ENFP and ESFJ
I recently realized I made an error with #2 and told my boss what they already knew but likely didn’t want to hear about ‘the process’. I noticed the next few days my boss seemed cold or ignored me and I root caused it back to #2. Since I don’t have time to go through the same INTJ woes when it comes to work (I’m in my 30s), I have to remember my new rule is to just stay under the radar and let people fall into the holes I’ve seen so many times before and just be slightly above competent. This is hard for an INTJ but when you have to work in the world we live in with the people we have to be around, it’s easier to just go along if it’s not necessary to speak up while I execute my own INTJ plan for independence. This job will allow me to meet MY personal financial goals so I have to see the long game and keep my mouth shut and let the process be sloppy since it’s not mine to own or really worry about.
I have trouble sometimes with allowing any form of sloppiness with my work. Even though it's not my own thing, my name is on it and I do not want to have a critique about quality comeback to me when I know I could have avoided it. It can be done wrong, cheap, or right and I'll only warranty shit done right. It's hard to lighten up when as soon as you do, stating "eh, good enough.", SOMEONE has to open their mouth.
I can completely relate to this!! I have not found so much peace with this yet. I see the holes, I see that it will cost the company time, resource and money. There are SO MANY of them. I find it hard not to point them all out. Learning when the right time is to flag them and HOW to raise them is a skill in and of itself. I constantly hold back and feel like I'm not being heard. It's because I'm sat here knowing that it's not gonna work, but have to accept everyone is different and not all of the other people see the thing the way I do. BUT WHY XD
Omg! Now i know what I'm doing wrong in my job! Thanks! I'm trying to improve my workspace, but my boss keep telling me to stop asking questions, because things just "are like this"! She treats me like shit and, thanks tô your comment, now I know why!
Things that annoy me as an INXJ female: 1. Narcissism 2. Conservatism 3. Close mindedness 4. Rules, any rules 5. When people forget that I still feel and like to treat me like a robot and use me 6. Anything shallow 7. Personal upkeep like showering and eating 8. When people waste my time 9. When I'm told what to do or not do 10. When someone thinks they know what's best for me better than I do
@@woods1026 Common, Can't an INTJ hate these things. Conservatism & When I'm told what to do or not do . These kills me as an INTJ and most INTJs and you can't tell a personality type based on 1 or 2 traits. Seriously?
People who interrupt me when I speak, so here's the thing -I don't do it that often, when I do there's a reason, a train of thought, theres time and energy I've put into consctructing and expressing what I'm saying so that the person I'm speaking to can comprehend it effectively, and then someone interrupts...
I had a teacher in elementary school say I was cheating because I could do long division in my head. I did it again in front of her and she still didn't believe me. I hate those people.
people asking me 1. hey, what are you doing? 2. you building a bomb? 3. why don't you act like normal people? my response "Act? You mean all this time you've been acting like mindless sheep? Fascinating."
My parents when they see me touching my phone and feel entitled to question whatever I am doing. Honestly I hate the facts that they've startled me multiple times when I was exploring a deep subject they didn't understand and start to question me about everything on the topic in a detective style while gradually raising their voices. "Hey I'm just a 14 year old boy here dwaddling with a pocket sized computer obtaining all the collective knowledge human beings have gathered and decide I want to watch 'pornography' every day every single time and join a cult that is brainwashing me to seek knowledge that is actually helpful and will aid me in my future career" And end of saying that parents must moniter what their children are doing when its only 3kids in the house its not a damn city full of mindless idiotic teenagers that you can nose around and annoy every second without consent of their own personal space. And when I tell them the truth that they're being nosy and annoying I'm considered "rude" 'rUdE'
Management: "What can you show us to prove your idea will be beneficial to the company." INTJ: "Uugghh! I can spin this many ways to make it sound promising, but Karen's idea has been wasting time and resources for years now, so her evidence wasn't exactly sound now was it? Just trust me, and don't insult my intelligence."
It's spooky how well you know how the mind of an INTJs works. I've gone full INTJ rage mode, with number 1, where I had to reroute my plan and then deal with the stupid people who got in the way. Annoying. 1. True 2. True 3. True 4. True 5. True You are 100% INTJ!
#6 force me to give you an answer or well thought out argument right away when its a new problem statement i have not yet explored before. #7 put me on the spot without warning or mental prepatation LOL #8 call off THE ONE spot left and reserved specifically for you in my 3 month pre-planned calendar a day before the mtg. #9 we cant relate to you...we need you to be a little more emotional. #10 "when you want to go fast go alone, when you want to go far go together" culture. Not when there are ill equipped beings everywhere. Very annoying to deal with! #11 in a conversation of 3x where you are explaining your thoughts to one of them and either they or the other pretends to be fully aligned and tries to summarize it but completely misses the point. #12 when you are expressing your 'cold' and justified words/arguments and someone else tries to soften your words or indicate you actually meant something else so as not to hurt their feelings. #13 people that are boastful. #14 people that have no integrity and no backbone. These are just a few. :)
Showing the process really is annoying especially when the process was only ever in my mind and not on paper cos to me its efficient and makes the most sense. Re-explaining it to people just ticks my impatience hahaha
These things are always testing my patience: 🍉 Superficiality - when people comment on my looks rather than listen to what I have to say 🍉 When people make hasty decisions (also the reason why it is hard for me to let someone plan a vacation or something like that) 🍉 Unproductive meetings without an agenda 🍉 Entitlement displays or just narcissists in general (discussions with this type of people are a waste of time) 🍉 People "reminding" me something obvious I shouldn't forget to do 🍉 Repeating myself (especially with people who don't pay attention or just don't seem to care) 🍉 Redundant work a.k.a. "this is the way things are done here" 🍉 Making me do several things at a time - not productive
This video is SO on point! As an INTJ, I find it incredibly taxing when I need to explain something to someone that I’ve spent whoever knows how long figuring out in my head. It’s like please, just believe me, it works! It might not make sense right now but trust me, it’ll pan out 🙏 Whenever I try to explain the concept it always gets kinda jumbled because there are so many nuances of things I’ve picked up on that would take soo long to fully explain... And even then they might not understand the full picture xD I’m curious to hear your thoughts about INTJ’s and leadership or INTJ’s as bosses. Maybe that would be an interesting video at some point. How can we be good leaders? How do we get people on board with “the thing” and together push toward the full vision? My constant struggle is having this huge ambition, and realizing that I need people to help me with the thing, but I also sorta hate people in the sense that it takes so long to explain everything/menial tasks, trying to establish “company culture” (rather than just doing the straightforward tasks needed for the thing to work), and knowing that in reality it might be faster if I just do it all myself. But I know that’s not sustainable - we can only go so far by ourselves. Would be curious to hear your thoughts on this topic. Been loving your videos since I found them last year - I feel so seen haha. Thanks for all the work you put into these :) -Lily
This! I'm right there with you. I also run into the fact that I'm sometimes explaining things to others related how they should/need to do their jobs and steps they need to do/follow, but I'm not their boss, so I can't be direct in my explanations/requirements so it just feels like constant additional mental hoops in the midst of simply trying to explain a process!
It would be nice if people stayed out of the way and not ask stupid questions so you could just get on with it! Tell them you are taking care of it and ask them if they have anything better to do than stand around!
Write it down later so they can read it and not waste youre time.Wasteing time is one of the worst things for Intjs.That is a true violation and is not tolerated by us.
So when you mentioned maths in relation to showing your work... it reminded me of when my parents put me through a math tutoring program that taught you the theory behind mathematics, not just the formula (showing the work). They cared about the results you got, and that you got to the right answer consistently. They didn’t really care if you memorised the steps to get there. Through that program I was doing advanced algebra in 3rd grade.... but then in public schools I struggled to adapt to having to prove my answer by showing my work to basic arithmetic. I remember once during a long division test I got all my answers right, but failed the test because I didn’t “show” my work. It was so incredibly frustrating for me to pick up a less efficient way to solve these math problems, I kind of shut down in math classes, and dreaded them for the rest of my academic career.
That happened to me too! It was long division as well...reallly long division with plenty of decimal places. Teacher took points off for not 'showing' the work. Held me after class...I asked, "Well, did I get the answers right?" "That's not the point." she replies. How can that not be the point..being correct is NOT the point? I was angry...I had the best test scores in the class and I was punished for it. I even said that I'd take another test right now, a different one to prove I didn't cheat. She said I could re-do if I showed the work. I knew my results would be worse if I did that...all those crossed out #'s. put this little # over the crossed out one...too messy. I sucked up a bad mark for being the most accurate. As you can tell I'm still bitter about that. It's MATH...answers are either correct or they're not..why ask why?
I hate explaining myself. Especially to someone that doesn't grasp the concept. Or they tune out in the middle of the conversation. I usually just stop and walk away. Leaving them hanging. I also hate interuptions. Nothing is worse than being interupted from a task to explain to someone what to do or to chit chat.
I thought I was the only one annoyed by being asked to show my work. Like is the answer right or not! And if it is let's move on we're wasting valuable time. Lol
These are so true. I freaking hate when someone doesn't just give me something to do and LETS ME DO IT. I hate when I'm given one thing to do and then that person decides to poke their head in and keep giving me more stuff to do that has nothing to do with the task given to me/ a different way to do it over and over as if I'm a 5 year old that needs extra instruction. I also hate when someone deliberately stays ignorant on a subject that they don't know anything about, yet keeps talking about it like they're so sure. ( like how do you not put ANY research in it at all?)
Getting to the point is vital as the oxygen I need to breathe. Getting the concept in a quick and direct way is essential! Repeating the mental processes, and explaining to a third party, who probably doesn't care, is simply too much, but still willing to do it for a higher purpose!! ... Yep...absolutely on the dot!
It annoys me so much when I feel a need to like all your videos (normally I don’t put thumb up very often) because all what you’re saying is so TRUE. Back to the topic, I always had strange relationships with my math teachers. My middle school teacher used to get angry with me because I never solved problems in order and that I had a right answer but it’d take time to understand how I got the right answer. In high school, my teacher really complained about me in front of the whole class. We had an exam or something, and my teacher was checking our works late at night, and she couldn’t understand my handwriting and the path of solving, so she asked her husband help her understand my work. Then she forced me to explain my answers to her and this is was even harder to do for me. How can I relive the same brainstorm twice? So I was the best student in my math and other classes too. But teachers didn’t like me much for the lack of communication. I hate maintaining things and wasting time on making unimportant decisions. For example, I hate choosing what to eat; I’d eat the same food everyday to save my time for something more important than choosing whether to eat pasta or boiled lentil. I’d talk about other things from the video too, but it’ll take too much time.
Yes, the “audacity” is super annoying. Don’t come to me with your ideas until you’ve considered the consequences. I can’t take that person seriously until then.
repeat. Having to repeat my point. People who repeatedly talking about the same point without any improvements from the first explaination. repeating the same exact mistake.
To the second point: I'm actually pretty in awe of people who can allow themselves to not think things through. I personally am pretty bad at improvising and things often go badly if I don't have a plan. But some people manage to not plan and wing it anyway. It seems like much gained time when you don't spend so much time planning everything in advance.
They do everything willy-nilly, and everything seems like an afterthought, with lots of doubling back. If you present a more rational way you either get a contemptuous response, or mild gratitude. Oh the aggravation!
I hate when people assume that I'm "bad" because I intimidate with my gaze (?), and I don't know if this is something that happens to all INTJs. But because of this, many people thought I didn't like them. When it was not like that. I never really have an opinion about someone if I don't know the person. I couldn't care less. It's just my face :(. Another thing: when people think that INTJs are ONLY serious or boring (the typical stereotype). Although I'm super serious I can also be the "dumb" or "quirky" one. And sometimes it surprises me how I go from one extreme to the other, like acting really dumb to acting really serious and calm.
INTJs when playing a game 10mins of slience... Guy1:found diamonds, ima go mine obsidian Guy2:ok 35mins later... Guy1:found a neither fortress Guy2:nice
One thing I hate even more than people not following the plan is having to work with people without having a clear plan about who must do what and when.
It truly amazes me how you managed to only talk about 5 things INTJ find annoying. If I were to do something similar, I wouldn't know what to pick and would eventually need 5 hours to address everything. There are so many things I find annoying on daily basis like : - Very talkative people (I love peace and quiet). - People that dare making judgments and assumptions on your decisions while you've been planning things thoroughly. - People telling you what you should do regarding YOUR life while they know close to nothing about you (and most of the time their "advice" don't even make sense and are thus bound to fail in the long run). - Oversensitive people (okay I have nothing against sensitive people in general, but if you start crying or be offended as soon as I tell you something that doesn't go your way, I can get mentally worn out and irritated). - People asking me for advice, not following them in the end, and later on calling me again to complain about how miserable everything is in their life (We all had a person like this at least once in our life). - People telling me I should go out more often (I'm not a shut-in, but I'm definitely not an extrovert either, so me going out for school and for little gather ups with a few friends from time to time are more than enough for me). The list goes on and those were very few examples. In the end, I believe I can be a pretty warm person as long as people are willing to respect my boundaries. Thanks for the video !
Intjs to other types :Don't make us do things that are not worth the effort And when we do something we're probably doing it in the best and easiest way possible Respect our work cause boyyyy we are lazier than what anyone can think
For 3 - the main thing I hate about school is how much time we waste. Like I'll be sitting in a class, listening to a lecture and I'll be worrying about the things I have to get done by tonight or tomorrow and I can't even do them in that class because I have to listen to the lecture when the lecture won't even help me because I'm so zoned out thinking about what to do. I'd have classes where I could do the majority of the work at home but once I got home, I'd only have like 4 hours to do 8 hour work because i was wasting time in class. Absolutely fantastic.
As an ISFP, I am also triggered by these. I was also good at 'guess the right answer' on multiple choice math tests and hate showing my work, even though I'm Se Gal. I am less triggered by maintenance and upkeep on things like cars, etc., but I am also a big plant killer. I like the way plants look though, so I just buy fake plants. They're MUCH harder to kill, I find.
As an INTJ, the thing that annoys me the most is when a person tried to force me to solve a problem using their random routine, forcing me to overcomplicate a problem for no real reason.
The most annoying things to me are: Underestimation- I have a teacher who underestimates everyone who doesn’t speak English as a first language on only that basis. It makes me feel like I’ll never accomplish anything, even if it’s directed at a class. As someone who spends time debating what exact words to use because they know words can hurt, this irks me. Ignorance- use your brain. You have one... I think. Incompentence- especially when it can be avoided. I have a teacher who is terribl incompetent and it’s like, you shouldn’t even have a degree. When someone takes credit for something another person did (Oh my, I could go one forever about this one). Grammer, spelling, and puncuation mistakes- I will correct you.
I figured out the correct answer on a calculus exam, with a question requiring many steps. I had a page full of work but my professor took a point off because none of the work I was supposed to show was what we were taught in class. This has happened to me many other times in the past. As INTJ’s, we just know things and can’t always explain why.
Nice video. I related to most as an INTJ, but I don't mind showing my work as long as it is already mostly polished and will not waste my time reworking it. Great if it's like a training example, or helps uncover more solutions. To archive or save it where no one takes it seriously? Nope.
Omg. Lindsay, you have just explained my workplace experiences so well. Thank you. I'm usually the naysayer in my office. It's not that I like to shoot down ideas, it's just if those ideas make no sense at all with the current resources then wtf.
Wow. I never come across people who share my thought process. Whenever someone proposes anything or states a rule, law or social norm, I immediately think of what inherently must be so in order for this to be the case or in order for this to work logically, and I’ve seen that there are very few people who actually do that. They just operate on the assumption that everyone shares their feelings and beliefs, which is itself a convincing explanation to them. It’s nice to come across a fellow alien who shares some of my thought process.
This might be my favorite video of yours. Each one, you start of saying what it is, and I'm skeptical. Then you explain it fully, and I think to myself, "my god. How does she know?" I crushed it and school and hated the idea of showing my work, so, that was one of my lowest grades. I always got half credit lol. Great work.
This is so hilarious! I can't take it. It's as if someone has been reading my mind. Seriously, respecting the process is huge for me. Anyone can talk or give suggestions but the integration of each action is the true pain in the ass. If you're not around for that ride I'll try to ignore you.
It's like you have been inside my head observing my working week! I wholeheartedly agree with everything you have said in this video. I am that 'bad guy' that points out the flaw in the plan and I get frustrated when no one takes it seriously, does the thing they want to do anyway, then *COMPLAIN* when it fails or doesn't happen quickly or is inefficient. I LITERALLY TOLD YOU AND YOU CHOSE TO IGNORE. Also, at work I regularly ask people to provide me with the agenda for a meeting before I attend the meeting. I do this because: 1. I like to know what is expected of me before I go into the meeting. I'm an introvert, let me process first! 2. I want to check that the meeting is actually relevant to me. Time and energy resources, yo! 3. Its common sense. Meetings need to stay on track. Especially if there are lots of people. I am also that person in the meeting who will say 'Okay, can we get back to the agenda?' or 'Who is going to follow up on that action?' - I demand law and order, dammit! On brainstorming - I don't mind doing that, I am happy to go into idea generation mode and assess what is the best route and fit all of the little parts together (that's my life in my inner world every day). However, if that's what the meeting or conversation is for then please make it clear to all parties from the outset, otherwise I'll sit there getting frustrated trying to figure out what the point of it all is. Also, make sure you include people who actually have knowledge about the thing within the brainstorming session. Otherwise it is just a complete waste of time and energy.
I came here today to get some perspective on someone who was annoying me. Coudn't pin point what it was. You never disappoint. I definately getting in touch with the reasons supporting my feelings about her and it is definately #4! I don't need to show my work, Janet!
...when someone starts talking before I'm finished making my point. ...if I had a stun gun, I would zap them on their stupid necks and be like "NO!!" BAD!!" 🤣
Respect the process: I love it. It has always annoyed me when I describe a difficulty I'm having to someone, they think on it for one to three seconds and think that they have solved all of life's problems for me, with a two word answer. When context and integration are overlooked: It is my considered opinion that only an INTJ routinely sees both the big picture and the details that make it all work. It is a basic reality of life that 98% of all people are happy with just knowing their little part of the system and have no interest in knowing anything more. When time, energy or words are wasted: This goes right back to number two for me. 98% of all people are just interested in interacting with the cute guy or pretty girl. For them, the cognitive part of the equation is the painful part. For them time, words, energy are just a means to an end, not an end in and of itself. Having to show our work: um yeah. No other personality type will understand the amount of work, or the relative importance of building the foundation upon which our ideas or results are grounded. And if we were to ever give them a full accounting of it, they would call us condescending. But they still want us to do the work of finding the cracks in their foundation so they can understand the results. It is exactly for this reason that the scientific method is so exacting is showing mathematical proofs, and experimental results. In a business or work setting however, I get it. Any actions taken in this setting tends to mean a lot to the bottom line of profitability. So I can understand their need for handholding through the process. The reality of care and maintenance: Your example of the buying the car with no maintenance for ten years is so up my alley. In fact, as a motorcycle aficionado, Zero motorcycles put out a product that only requires new tires and brakes as needed. The rest of the system is fully electric. Just maybe keep it clean. And plug it in at night.
#2&4. hands down agreeee. even worst when youre forced to explaing urself and being interrupted halway the explanation because its too long of an explanation. thank you so much for taking the time and mental energy to explain these things. i can never word this coherently. ill just save your videos in a playlist and use them as reference next time im asked to explain 'whats wrong'
OMG, I know, right. All of these peeves just came out for me big time today. Ugh. This was perfect, though, so thanks for cheering me up! Keep up the great videos and we'll keep clicking. And I don't think there's a copyright issue here, but just as a courtesy, I wanted to let you know that I linked to this video in one of mine today. 😉
I'm great at math, I can give you the right answer, but I miss out on showing my work because I don't want to waste time writing down many things when I can just do it all in my head
Why do you think people nowadays are more and more mistyped? Maybe because they believe the "free tests online"? Maybe because they don't look at what the MBTI functions actually are? Maybe because they don't look for what MBTI truly is? Do you agree that there is an intuitive bias, mostly started by immature and frustrated intuitives? Because I see it pretty much everywhere. And I can't really tell why.
One time, I made an itinerary for a trip with my friends. I laid out a plan and I knew this would be the best way to maximize our time. However, they kept on throwing idea over idea, saying it would be better or more fun, and when I gave a rebuttal, they’d tell me how serious I am. I honestly don’t care if they think I’m a killjoy. What irritated me most was that we didn’t follow a schedule that would be more efficient, less costly, and maximize our time to the fullest. In short, I agree with your video. So true.
I agree with everything, but also those that interrupt with an "easier" way to do something before I give a "death stare" or scowl and then say "Oh, I'm only trying to help!". My response to this is either "Stop trying to help and help" or words to the effect of "Go away!". Also when you zone out and scowl and people think that you're angry.
Aaaaah! This is so funny! Just got home from the plant store! I had to replace the ones I killed! Then I watched this and the coincidence is just too funny to me. I’m an INFJ plant murderer. I felt so much guilt because I accidentally froze my plants during a bad depression. I just hermitted in my room for several days and when I emerged, I realized what I’d done to them. I’ve actually managed to salvage them but if they ever do bloom again it won’t be for quite some time.
That last point hits home, I have literally ignored every software upgrade on my smart devices because I can't be bothered. They work until they don't, and then I replace the whole thing at once.
I just discovered your channel and am binge watching all your videos. You should have way more subscribers! Your insights are helping me wrap my mind around the cognitive functions. Great stuff. Thank you!
I relate to all of these,but #5 hit close to home! Also, your anecdote about your plants explains a lot about my habits. I’ve always Played with the idea of having a plant. It seems nice,but then I always calculate in the fact that it’s quite draining to do some sensory work,and I’m not efficient enough to keep alive. However, I’ve done research with succulents, and I deem them to be manageable as they are low maintenance. I might get one,buuut who knows I might find a way to kill that too😂
People who have the strength n ability to change their situation but settle for complaints n wants to be pitied for. I hate pity, it feels patronizing and it blows my mind that some people love to get it
When a person you care about and is one of the rare you are willing to hang out with and waste your part of the day comes one hour late or does not even come (cuz something happened blah blah blah, no good reason) it makes me want to delete them from my life. My cousin did that a few times to me, guess who does not have a cousin anymore...
The more videos about INTJ I watch the more confused I am. Sometimes I feel like 'Yeah definitely me' and sometimes I am like 'it isn't even similar to me'.
I was also truly awful at showing my workings at school, fortunately that is not really part of my job anymore now. One of my other pet peeves, is having friends coming to me, miserable, due to some problem or other, and I suggest a solution which they then completely ignore and come back to me again and again feeling bad about the same situation. I've given you my advice, if you choose not to do it that is your prerogative, but don't keep coming back to me again looking for someone to be a "shoulder to cry on", if you're a friend of mine you should really know by now that is not a role I am built to fill particularly well!
Wow, topic number 1 is so spot on! Trust me, I do things the way I do them because I have thought out every other possible outcome. That's why I'm so particular about things being done a certain way. That's also why I have such a hard time finding anyone who can stand living with me. lol
A car that's guaranteed no maintenance for 25 years would be my dream car. On another note the classiest Volvo on the market would be the perfect car for a minimalist intj gentleman.
as an intj everything u said rn got on my nerve, i swear the audacity of people , i hope they all disappear like rn and I could just focus on my stuff , like I don't mind being by myself and if u really want to care for me just leave me alone and data will be a grat way to do so
I didn’t like to show my work and this is what I concluded over the years: I oftentimes ask someone a question and give them the answer directly without telling them my thought process. So I present point A (the question) and point Z (the answer) that I thought through after a year or so and expected a friend to just get from point A to Z in an instant. All the thought process, point B to Y, is omitted…So I always get frustrated to explain all the nitty process to ppl.
I’d say that another annoying occurrence is the result of contemporary culture lacking the sense of personal responsibility. Instead of taking ownership of one’s own problems, the childish jerkoff attempts to make their problem my problem. Utter laziness!
One of the things I hate the most is when people tell me "I call you later" and don't even consider to tell the exact time when they're planning to call, so I have to nervously sit with my phone waiting for it to call at any moment
Ahhhh GOOD ONE!!! Yes that is an absolute annoyance!
that also applies to me, as an INFJ :D
I'd probably block their number or just put my phone on airplane mode to avoid the stress! 🤣
And then your just doing things to pass time so they can “CALL YOU” and then you call them and then they say “I forgot”
Yeahhh, I worked myself around that, In my case it's an answering machine, so I don't have to be there. So I NEVER wait by the phone, but yes, when service plans to come by, I'm stuck at home, because they need me to open the door. As well, if it annoys you enough, it would seem to be wise to knock yourself into another way of thinking being applied to it. Though I have no cause to do it myself, what might work, and it would take some practice to get you out of the usual routine, but when they say that instantly, and I mean instantly, say no, just to keep them from hanging up. Then elaborate, that not giving you at least a ballpark figure doesn't work, as you don't want to be slave to your phone possibly all day long. Of course they'll probably still be a drip and not stick to the figure they gave you, or blame their wrong prediction on the inevitable "something else came up". You see, it's all about giving themselves freedom, and taking yours away.
Hearing the phrase, "We've always done it this way." makes me want to fire every person within eyesight. Even if they're not my employees.
To which I follow with "well is it actually working?"
@@InternetLiJoI haven't experienced that yet. In all fairness, I'm usually sent to locations as a fixer. My experiences have dealt with systems, structures, and behaviors that are broken in some way. In my experiences, the person saying it is usually the person that has been key to the creation of whatever the malfunction is. They use it as a smokescreen to redirect when they want to hide something.
Every time I hear that expression, I die a little on the inside.
well, that "perfect way" has it's angles and maybe i can find a better way
The counter argument is when corporate comes in with a 'one-size-fits-all solution' and says, "I know you've always done it this way, but this is how we want you to do it from now on." And it's like, the only reason we do it the way we do is because this is the best way given the extraneous circumstances (like location, demographic, and available resources) -- literally the result of years of optimization. You can't just come in and be like, "fuck everything you know about your job and what works, do what we say because we need to look better for investors."
5 things?!... No! Just one: People.
hahah. I expect nothing from them. My standards are so low.
@@InternetLiJo Your standards are still high I'm sure, you have just learned to lower your expectations like the rest of us, especially us INTJs.
They have their virtues... but oh so tiresome.
for me its good but not often, i need to meet people and reflecting of what i believe is right or wrong
Hell is other people
I, another intj, can't stand:
-People who like to add activities to a process for the sole reason to appear busy, like those who schedule meetings to discuss a meeting. I find myself zoning out when forced into those mindnumbing situations.
-Narcissistic manipulators that like to tell others what they feel or think; if someone tells you what you think/feel, and stifles your creativity, run away.
-Small talk within shallow social events and insincerity. Just an overall time waster, I could have said or done something actually substantial elsewhere.
-Herd mentality/political emotionalism. When a problem may have a solution but folks ignore a solution, as it may be unpopular.
Just to name a few!
Ahh yes I hate those things too! Although the small talk I have gotten used to. I hate busy work, hate when people make up things to do that don't need to be done just to feel productive. I put effort in for the payoff, not to avoid feeling lazy. And hate people telling me what I think/feel too... The worst is someone saying they know you better than you know yourself, but then they're not even right about what you're thinking or feeling 🙄. And emotionally driven politics yeah that sucks. Honestly even most political ideologies bother me... I'm mostly just interested in what's ACTUALLY effective... the proof is in the results. Not what would work in some ideal world that doesn't exist where everyone cooperates perfectly.
I agree
Meetings in general.
I strongly disagree with the second point. In fact, I encourage people to be more vocal about their opinion, but the important point here is that they should not put up a show. These people may be having genuine doubts and clarifications about the idea which needs care.
These are the team members who will be working with us, they have every right to say what they think because at the end of the day these results are their results. In fact, disagreements are important to stimulate real creativity, I would go as far as to say a team without disagreements is a dysfunctional team.
@@tangible959 I think there is a misunderstanding here. Person A telling Person B how Person A feels= good.
Person A telling Person B how Person B feels/should feel= AWFUL. This awful behaviour is what we are talking about now, and I sincerely hate it too. Nobody should ever tell me how I suppose to feel - other INTJ
- Patent Liars
- Willful ignorance
- Closed mindedness
- Unmerited arrogance
- Public Displays of Exaggerated Emotions
What 'merits' arrogance?
Achievement
@@Siansonea While I do not agree with arrogance, I do appreciate the weak human condition that can cause one to 'brag' or become arrogant based on their personal high achievements...aka merit.
@@elmoomle4565 I'm sorry, but if a person's merits don't speak for themselves, if the person has to lord it over others to attain some kind of feeling of validation or whatever...I'm just not impressed. That's some pretty adolescent stuff happening there.
Willful ignorance ughhhh don’t get me started on that one
Gosh, I wish that my INTJ death stare was an ACTUAL death stare sometimes.
*stares*
Mines looks more like when you wake up and your eyes are adjusting
my mother called that my "cold fish stare," lol!
Try blinking repeatedly and say "pew" for each blink
Yeah, so as an INTJ, I have made a classmate cry with my death stare before... not a pretty picture.
Most annoying thing atm: People assuming what I think about. “I bet she’s killing us all inside her head.”
Wow very very true on this one.
just reply with "now I am"
I HATE this with a passion. When people put words in my mouth or assume they know how I will act in a certain situation, especially if they're saying I would act in a way that is against my principles, for example "if I told you all the things you did wrong, you would just deny it". This is the complete opposite way I would react because I actively encourage others to call me out, so to tell me how I would react is incredibly disrespectful. They're basically calling me a bad person, as if they know what goes on inside my head and my thought processes.
Additionally, it's an absolute statement on something they didn't bother to gather any data on, which means it's pretty much guaranteed to be inaccurate. It is the least respectable of statements one could possibly make and I despise it.
This 1000%. I am always like ask. You don't have to guess. Save us both the headache and inquire or leave me alone. I have got garlic bread to the think about. 🙆
my family does this all the time i hate it so much
1:People telling me how i feel ("Oh she's just mad")
2: Liars. I, however find it a bit amusing when I know they're lying yet they still maintain the audacity to lie.
3: THE NOISES PEOPLE MAKE WHEN THE EAT. They words you are reading can't even begin to covey the rage I feel when people make those noises... Misophonia, look it up.
4:Having to repeat myself
5:People who talk just to hear noise. Just be quiet, nobody asked.
6: Not being given a choice or right to decide.
7: People who continue to repeat thing over and over again.
Omg same thing
And the " just chill, why you're overthinking/mad/ sad" when i am just admiring nature or living in my lille world 🤦♀️🤷♀️
Yes. Numbers 1 and 3 in particular have been plaguing me my entire life, and no one ever mentions them for INTJs. Finally.
Thanks, I learned what misophonia is, very interesting!
Omg girl daaamn , i relate with the first thing u said ... Ppl always tell me u were angry and im like what ? When ? How ?
YES. I hate all of them more than anything.
I would add emotions to number 3. As an INTJ woman, I find it hard that many people just assume that all women are emotional so if I show ANY emotion at all, to them it’s just like - oh big deal, a woman is being a woman. While in reality if I do display some sort of emotion, then you better freaking taking it seriously. If I’m crying, there’s a damn good reason behind it, don’t take it lightly, I don’t just cry because of some little unimportant thing. If I (attempt to) display anger, better freaking pay attention because I really can’t hold it anymore.
Ah assuming emotions! Great one.
@@InternetLiJo that really is. when i FINALLY display impatience, as a male, it's like a big deal. i'm normally thoughtful, patient, and (organizationally) fix my own problems. but when i've finally had enough, i pretty much zoom from pissed off to defiant and start fixing things in my own way. that gets noticed... they usually get over it though, and it hasn't gotten me fired in over 20 years at different companies. cuz i'm right. it needed to be done.
@@skip123davis "Beware the Fury of a Patient (intj) Man"...
well, the intj womans are only the 0.8% of population so... :]
@joanna odziemczyk worse version of intj (Just kidding jak coś)
I DO find that my INTJ friends are usually right.
Usually?
You must mean 99% of the time.
~99.99% correct~
Because we are. If an INTJ decides to talk about something we've spent away more time than your average person looking into said subject and the only way you can prove us wrong is having more knowledge on the subject than we have.
INTJ: everyone has to listen to me and not question my process, and also don't expect me to show my working
Also INTJ: can't keep potplants alive
Oof
That is so true!! I got myself three plants a little over a month ago - a bonsai, a cactus and a normal plant- and guess what
I dehydrated the bonsai and soaked the cactus and my last plant is barely alive
why is that so true
RIP succulents
@@anncabras3961 HOW, i really love plants :3 they are quiet, don't talk, doesn't ask for social interaccion (except for the watering)
Things INTJs find annoying
Me: Everything
When I was taking Geometry I knew the answers instantly, but when I tried to do the proofs, I would only write down 3 steps in an 15 step proof.
When I'm asked about a current project...and I explain what's going on and the only reply I get is..."that's nice" without any appreciation for the intense engineering and logistical planning that made it happen...so it's like you just made me explain myself and you have no idea what I'm talking about...
This! Or they ask you a question, which does not have a simple answer. You commence explaining. Then they cut you off part way through the explanation and say 'can you give me the short version?' - NO!
Well I appreciate all of your hard work 😁
@@sarah_ferguson ...thank you Ms. Sarah
All five of these are the same thing really. INTJs just hate to waste their energy and effort.
LOL!! SHHH.... Don't tell our secrets. Let us repackage the Ni with slightly different Se.
I would summarize them as: else's mental blindness standing in our way and deterring our plans...
Why this sounds like a supervillain quote? 🤣
And so you summed it up to not waste energy and efforts! Meta! 😂
Is binging youtube considered a waste of energy when it takes no effort?
@@Gaze73 no, UA-cam is good, it's not a waste of time or energy, unless you watch cat videos or those meme compilations. I, for example, learned to be plumber, electrician and carpenter on UA-cam.
People that can talk for hours and never go to the point. I can't deal with that.
And I'm agree with the waste of energy and words, it makes me mad when i have to repet all that i just said.
if they can't get to the point, maybe they need to write their speech before
Had a boss, you’d ask him a simple question, he’d take you on a journey. Got so tired of it I told him to get to the point. He hated that, and me to be honest, but I’d made myself to be indispensable. Spent six months explaining everything via text after I’d left.
'junk' conversations like gossip
I also dislike gossip, not because it's a waste of time, but because it is mean-spirited and obviously designed to make the person spreading the gossip feel better about themself by tearing someone else down. Also I'm ISFP, so I see things in a slightly different way than INTJ.
Junk food for the ears
Siansonea Orande - it’s also a form of social/emotional manipulation.
I had a friend who would constantly badmouth my other friend to me (they weren't frenemies, they hardly interacted). She genuinely could not compute why I wanted her to stop doing it, and it put me in an awkward and unpleasant position.
I don't like gossip but i enjoy watching people gossiping and backstab each other hehe
For me, when people say "what?" halfway through something I am saying, I stop talking and stare at them. Just...why. If it happens more then once, I just give up. Not worth it. Clearly, you don't want to hear. Stop asking me to repeat myself.
I relate to that. People always call me psycho or stupid when I just stare at them after they ask “what?” That’s one of the reasons I rarely talk to anyone.
They obviously just didn't hear you lol get off your high horse
I hate it when I say something and there's dead silence for about a minute until my mom or whoever says "what?"
This literally happened when I was in class 9 giving presentation on Math.
You can make it fun. When they interrupt you, just stop abruptly, turn on your heels and walk away. Good times.
This kind of video is valuable to me because my wife hears what you're saying and understands me a little better.
I can tell her about a concept (like respecting the process) all day, but she doesn't get it. I then make her watch you for 5 minutes, and her eyes widen and she says, "Is that how you feel?!?"
Thank you LiJo!!!Your content has made a positive impact on our lives.
I love hearing stories like these!!
whats your wife's mbti, if you dont mind me asking?
@@_--Reaper--_ she scored ENFP but doesn't own it. She feels closer to center and is fairly noncommittal. She just told me she feels like she falls between ENFP and ESFJ
I recently realized I made an error with #2 and told my boss what they already knew but likely didn’t want to hear about ‘the process’.
I noticed the next few days my boss seemed cold or ignored me and I root caused it back to #2.
Since I don’t have time to go through the same INTJ woes when it comes to work (I’m in my 30s), I have to remember my new rule is to just stay under the radar and let people fall into the holes I’ve seen so many times before and just be slightly above competent.
This is hard for an INTJ but when you have to work in the world we live in with the people we have to be around, it’s easier to just go along if it’s not necessary to speak up while I execute my own INTJ plan for independence.
This job will allow me to meet MY personal financial goals so I have to see the long game and keep my mouth shut and let the process be sloppy since it’s not mine to own or really worry about.
I have trouble sometimes with allowing any form of sloppiness with my work.
Even though it's not my own thing, my name is on it and I do not want to have a critique about quality comeback to me when I know I could have avoided it.
It can be done wrong, cheap, or right and I'll only warranty shit done right.
It's hard to lighten up when as soon as you do, stating "eh, good enough.", SOMEONE has to open their mouth.
I can completely relate to this!! I have not found so much peace with this yet. I see the holes, I see that it will cost the company time, resource and money. There are SO MANY of them. I find it hard not to point them all out. Learning when the right time is to flag them and HOW to raise them is a skill in and of itself. I constantly hold back and feel like I'm not being heard. It's because I'm sat here knowing that it's not gonna work, but have to accept everyone is different and not all of the other people see the thing the way I do. BUT WHY XD
TaylorVero
Because to them, you are, the thing.
Yes. This lesson took me a very long time to learn. I agree 100%
Omg! Now i know what I'm doing wrong in my job! Thanks! I'm trying to improve my workspace, but my boss keep telling me to stop asking questions, because things just "are like this"! She treats me like shit and, thanks tô your comment, now I know why!
Things that annoy me as an INXJ female:
1. Narcissism
2. Conservatism
3. Close mindedness
4. Rules, any rules
5. When people forget that I still feel and like to treat me like a robot and use me
6. Anything shallow
7. Personal upkeep like showering and eating
8. When people waste my time
9. When I'm told what to do or not do
10. When someone thinks they know what's best for me better than I do
Some good ones you have on here!
"Conservativism," "Rules," "Being told what to do," lol you're probably an ISFP
Just 4, 5, 6, 8, 9 and 10 are what they annoy me
Yes, right.
@@woods1026 Common, Can't an INTJ hate these things. Conservatism & When I'm told what to do or not do . These kills me as an INTJ and most INTJs and you can't tell a personality type based on 1 or 2 traits. Seriously?
People who interrupt me when I speak, so here's the thing -I don't do it that often, when I do there's a reason, a train of thought, theres time and energy I've put into consctructing and expressing what I'm saying so that the person I'm speaking to can comprehend it effectively, and then someone interrupts...
I had a teacher in elementary school say I was cheating because I could do long division in my head. I did it again in front of her and she still didn't believe me. I hate those people.
people asking me
1. hey, what are you doing?
2. you building a bomb?
3. why don't you act like normal people?
my response "Act? You mean all this time you've been acting like mindless sheep? Fascinating."
Hahahahaha fantastic, I ain't actin; ma I.Q low...
Hahah "Are you building a bomb?"
@@lachezarvalentinov8751 no, it's a death ray. I mean, sun screen applicator.
My parents when they see me touching my phone and feel entitled to question whatever I am doing. Honestly I hate the facts that they've startled me multiple times when I was exploring a deep subject they didn't understand and start to question me about everything on the topic in a detective style while gradually raising their voices.
"Hey I'm just a 14 year old boy here dwaddling with a pocket sized computer obtaining all the collective knowledge human beings have gathered and decide I want to watch 'pornography' every day every single time and join a cult that is brainwashing me to seek knowledge that is actually helpful and will aid me in my future career"
And end of saying that parents must moniter what their children are doing when its only 3kids in the house its not a damn city full of mindless idiotic teenagers that you can nose around and annoy every second without consent of their own personal space.
And when I tell them the truth that they're being nosy and annoying I'm considered "rude" 'rUdE'
😂🤣💛
ENFJ
Management: "What can you show us to prove your idea will be beneficial to the company."
INTJ: "Uugghh! I can spin this many ways to make it sound promising, but Karen's idea has been wasting time and resources for years now, so her evidence wasn't exactly sound now was it? Just trust me, and don't insult my intelligence."
2 minutes into the conversation, I'm starting to think INTJs are rather annoyed by sauntering...
Lmao!! The audacity!!
Its just the audacity of it.
It's spooky how well you know how the mind of an INTJs works.
I've gone full INTJ rage mode, with number 1, where I had to reroute my plan and then deal with the stupid people who got in the way. Annoying.
1. True
2. True
3. True
4. True
5. True
You are 100% INTJ!
When it's your own mind its very easy lol. I couldn't make content like this about other types. At least not yet.
#6 force me to give you an answer or well thought out argument right away when its a new problem statement i have not yet explored before.
#7 put me on the spot without warning or mental prepatation LOL
#8 call off THE ONE spot left and reserved specifically for you in my 3 month pre-planned calendar a day before the mtg.
#9 we cant relate to you...we need you to be a little more emotional.
#10 "when you want to go fast go alone, when you want to go far go together" culture. Not when there are ill equipped beings everywhere. Very annoying to deal with!
#11 in a conversation of 3x where you are explaining your thoughts to one of them and either they or the other pretends to be fully aligned and tries to summarize it but completely misses the point.
#12 when you are expressing your 'cold' and justified words/arguments and someone else tries to soften your words or indicate you actually meant something else so as not to hurt their feelings.
#13 people that are boastful.
#14 people that have no integrity and no backbone.
These are just a few. :)
Your number 10. It is so true. I'm crying laughing at how true it is!!!
Number 12 is spot on. 100% accurate.
The 12 one
Why its bad ?i think it's kind
Because people misunderstand the intj's words
Showing the process really is annoying especially when the process was only ever in my mind and not on paper cos to me its efficient and makes the most sense. Re-explaining it to people just ticks my impatience hahaha
These things are always testing my patience:
🍉 Superficiality - when people comment on my looks rather than listen to what I have to say
🍉 When people make hasty decisions (also the reason why it is hard for me to let someone plan a vacation or something like that)
🍉 Unproductive meetings without an agenda
🍉 Entitlement displays or just narcissists in general (discussions with this type of people are a waste of time)
🍉 People "reminding" me something obvious I shouldn't forget to do
🍉 Repeating myself (especially with people who don't pay attention or just don't seem to care)
🍉 Redundant work a.k.a. "this is the way things are done here"
🍉 Making me do several things at a time - not productive
This video is SO on point! As an INTJ, I find it incredibly taxing when I need to explain something to someone that I’ve spent whoever knows how long figuring out in my head. It’s like please, just believe me, it works! It might not make sense right now but trust me, it’ll pan out 🙏 Whenever I try to explain the concept it always gets kinda jumbled because there are so many nuances of things I’ve picked up on that would take soo long to fully explain... And even then they might not understand the full picture xD I’m curious to hear your thoughts about INTJ’s and leadership or INTJ’s as bosses. Maybe that would be an interesting video at some point. How can we be good leaders? How do we get people on board with “the thing” and together push toward the full vision? My constant struggle is having this huge ambition, and realizing that I need people to help me with the thing, but I also sorta hate people in the sense that it takes so long to explain everything/menial tasks, trying to establish “company culture” (rather than just doing the straightforward tasks needed for the thing to work), and knowing that in reality it might be faster if I just do it all myself. But I know that’s not sustainable - we can only go so far by ourselves. Would be curious to hear your thoughts on this topic. Been loving your videos since I found them last year - I feel so seen haha. Thanks for all the work you put into these :) -Lily
Love it as a video idea! We tend to be passive leaders until ... we're not.
This! I'm right there with you. I also run into the fact that I'm sometimes explaining things to others related how they should/need to do their jobs and steps they need to do/follow, but I'm not their boss, so I can't be direct in my explanations/requirements so it just feels like constant additional mental hoops in the midst of simply trying to explain a process!
It would be nice if people stayed out of the way and not ask stupid questions so you could just get on with it! Tell them you are taking care of it and ask them if they have anything better to do than stand around!
Write it down later so they can read it and not waste youre time.Wasteing time is one of the worst things for Intjs.That is a true violation and is not tolerated by us.
The part about showing work is just accurate
So when you mentioned maths in relation to showing your work... it reminded me of when my parents put me through a math tutoring program that taught you the theory behind mathematics, not just the formula (showing the work). They cared about the results you got, and that you got to the right answer consistently. They didn’t really care if you memorised the steps to get there. Through that program I was doing advanced algebra in 3rd grade.... but then in public schools I struggled to adapt to having to prove my answer by showing my work to basic arithmetic. I remember once during a long division test I got all my answers right, but failed the test because I didn’t “show” my work. It was so incredibly frustrating for me to pick up a less efficient way to solve these math problems, I kind of shut down in math classes, and dreaded them for the rest of my academic career.
That happened to me too! It was long division as well...reallly long division with plenty of decimal places. Teacher took points off for not 'showing' the work. Held me after class...I asked, "Well, did I get the answers right?" "That's not the point." she replies. How can that not be the point..being correct is NOT the point? I was angry...I had the best test scores in the class and I was punished for it. I even said that I'd take another test right now, a different one to prove I didn't cheat. She said I could re-do if I showed the work. I knew my results would be worse if I did that...all those crossed out #'s. put this little # over the crossed out one...too messy. I sucked up a bad mark for being the most accurate. As you can tell I'm still bitter about that. It's MATH...answers are either correct or they're not..why ask why?
And I dropped school because of this.
I hate explaining myself. Especially to someone that doesn't grasp the concept. Or they tune out in the middle of the conversation. I usually just stop and walk away. Leaving them hanging. I also hate interuptions. Nothing is worse than being interupted from a task to explain to someone what to do or to chit chat.
I get that!
I just love the angle she choose to feature herself .
LOL.... ;)
I thought I was the only one annoyed by being asked to show my work. Like is the answer right or not! And if it is let's move on we're wasting valuable time. Lol
These are so true. I freaking hate when someone doesn't just give me something to do and LETS ME DO IT. I hate when I'm given one thing to do and then that person decides to poke their head in and keep giving me more stuff to do that has nothing to do with the task given to me/ a different way to do it over and over as if I'm a 5 year old that needs extra instruction.
I also hate when someone deliberately stays ignorant on a subject that they don't know anything about, yet keeps talking about it like they're so sure. ( like how do you not put ANY research in it at all?)
Getting to the point is vital as the oxygen I need to breathe.
Getting the concept in a quick and direct way is essential!
Repeating the mental processes, and explaining to a third party, who probably doesn't care, is simply too much, but still willing to do it for a higher purpose!!
...
Yep...absolutely on the dot!
It annoys me so much when I feel a need to like all your videos (normally I don’t put thumb up very often) because all what you’re saying is so TRUE.
Back to the topic, I always had strange relationships with my math teachers. My middle school teacher used to get angry with me because I never solved problems in order and that I had a right answer but it’d take time to understand how I got the right answer.
In high school, my teacher really complained about me in front of the whole class. We had an exam or something, and my teacher was checking our works late at night, and she couldn’t understand my handwriting and the path of solving, so she asked her husband help her understand my work. Then she forced me to explain my answers to her and this is was even harder to do for me. How can I relive the same brainstorm twice?
So I was the best student in my math and other classes too. But teachers didn’t like me much for the lack of communication.
I hate maintaining things and wasting time on making unimportant decisions. For example, I hate choosing what to eat; I’d eat the same food everyday to save my time for something more important than choosing whether to eat pasta or boiled lentil.
I’d talk about other things from the video too, but it’ll take too much time.
Yes, the “audacity” is super annoying. Don’t come to me with your ideas until you’ve considered the consequences. I can’t take that person seriously until then.
You had me at, "I'm making this video because you guys keep clicking on this stuff."
Lol you get me
repeat.
Having to repeat my point.
People who repeatedly talking about the same point without any improvements from the first explaination.
repeating the same exact mistake.
Great ones on here!
"having to show our work" my math and science teachers are always after me because of this 😂 it's so irritating
To the second point: I'm actually pretty in awe of people who can allow themselves to not think things through. I personally am pretty bad at improvising and things often go badly if I don't have a plan. But some people manage to not plan and wing it anyway. It seems like much gained time when you don't spend so much time planning everything in advance.
Isn't it fascinating!?
They do everything willy-nilly, and everything seems like an afterthought, with lots of doubling back. If you present a more rational way you either get a contemptuous response, or mild gratitude. Oh the aggravation!
I hate when people assume that I'm "bad" because I intimidate with my gaze (?), and I don't know if this is something that happens to all INTJs. But because of this, many people thought I didn't like them. When it was not like that. I never really have an opinion about someone if I don't know the person. I couldn't care less. It's just my face :(.
Another thing: when people think that INTJs are ONLY serious or boring (the typical stereotype). Although I'm super serious I can also be the "dumb" or "quirky" one. And sometimes it surprises me how I go from one extreme to the other, like acting really dumb to acting really serious and calm.
Have not been here for a while, happy that I checked out this video. Resonates.
INTJs when playing a game
10mins of slience...
Guy1:found diamonds, ima go mine obsidian
Guy2:ok
35mins later...
Guy1:found a neither fortress
Guy2:nice
One thing I hate even more than people not following the plan is having to work with people without having a clear plan about who must do what and when.
Ah yes the choreography of the plan itself.
I only got one: anything half-assed.
It truly amazes me how you managed to only talk about 5 things INTJ find annoying. If I were to do something similar, I wouldn't know what to pick and would eventually need 5 hours to address everything. There are so many things I find annoying on daily basis like :
- Very talkative people (I love peace and quiet).
- People that dare making judgments and assumptions on your decisions while you've been planning things thoroughly.
- People telling you what you should do regarding YOUR life while they know close to nothing about you (and most of the time their "advice" don't even make sense and are thus bound to fail in the long run).
- Oversensitive people (okay I have nothing against sensitive people in general, but if you start crying or be offended as soon as I tell you something that doesn't go your way, I can get mentally worn out and irritated).
- People asking me for advice, not following them in the end, and later on calling me again to complain about how miserable everything is in their life (We all had a person like this at least once in our life).
- People telling me I should go out more often (I'm not a shut-in, but I'm definitely not an extrovert either, so me going out for school and for little gather ups with a few friends from time to time are more than enough for me).
The list goes on and those were very few examples. In the end, I believe I can be a pretty warm person as long as people are willing to respect my boundaries. Thanks for the video !
Started watching this and thank you soooo much for number 1!! Even the way you expressed yourself felt authentic and relatable
Thank goodness 😅 yes this list was very real.
Intjs to other types :Don't make us do things that are not worth the effort
And when we do something we're probably doing it in the best and easiest way possible
Respect our work cause boyyyy we are lazier than what anyone can think
For 3 - the main thing I hate about school is how much time we waste. Like I'll be sitting in a class, listening to a lecture and I'll be worrying about the things I have to get done by tonight or tomorrow and I can't even do them in that class because I have to listen to the lecture when the lecture won't even help me because I'm so zoned out thinking about what to do. I'd have classes where I could do the majority of the work at home but once I got home, I'd only have like 4 hours to do 8 hour work because i was wasting time in class. Absolutely fantastic.
I feel that!!
"What an audacious request you've put upon me! No I will not partake in 'taking turns' washing dishes. None of them are mine!"
As an ISFP, I am also triggered by these. I was also good at 'guess the right answer' on multiple choice math tests and hate showing my work, even though I'm Se Gal. I am less triggered by maintenance and upkeep on things like cars, etc., but I am also a big plant killer. I like the way plants look though, so I just buy fake plants. They're MUCH harder to kill, I find.
As an INTJ, the thing that annoys me the most is when a person tried to force me to solve a problem using their random routine, forcing me to overcomplicate a problem for no real reason.
The most annoying things to me are:
Underestimation- I have a teacher who underestimates everyone who doesn’t speak English as a first language on only that basis. It makes me feel like I’ll never accomplish anything, even if it’s directed at a class. As someone who spends time debating what exact words to use because they know words can hurt, this irks me.
Ignorance- use your brain. You have one... I think.
Incompentence- especially when it can be avoided. I have a teacher who is terribl incompetent and it’s like, you shouldn’t even have a degree.
When someone takes credit for something another person did (Oh my, I could go one forever about this one).
Grammer, spelling, and puncuation mistakes- I will correct you.
I figured out the correct answer on a calculus exam, with a question requiring many steps. I had a page full of work but my professor took a point off because none of the work I was supposed to show was what we were taught in class. This has happened to me many other times in the past. As INTJ’s, we just know things and can’t always explain why.
Nice video. I related to most as an INTJ, but I don't mind showing my work as long as it is already mostly polished and will not waste my time reworking it. Great if it's like a training example, or helps uncover more solutions. To archive or save it where no one takes it seriously? Nope.
Omg. Lindsay, you have just explained my workplace experiences so well. Thank you. I'm usually the naysayer in my office. It's not that I like to shoot down ideas, it's just if those ideas make no sense at all with the current resources then wtf.
Haha I'm glad it made sense to you! It's my reality as well.
Wow. I never come across people who share my thought process. Whenever someone proposes anything or states a rule, law or social norm, I immediately think of what inherently must be so in order for this to be the case or in order for this to work logically, and I’ve seen that there are very few people who actually do that. They just operate on the assumption that everyone shares their feelings and beliefs, which is itself a convincing explanation to them. It’s nice to come across a fellow alien who shares some of my thought process.
This might be my favorite video of yours. Each one, you start of saying what it is, and I'm skeptical. Then you explain it fully, and I think to myself, "my god. How does she know?" I crushed it and school and hated the idea of showing my work, so, that was one of my lowest grades. I always got half credit lol. Great work.
Haha thank you! Yeah sometimes the titles throw people off, but I always come with the juice.
This is so hilarious! I can't take it. It's as if someone has been reading my mind. Seriously, respecting the process is huge for me. Anyone can talk or give suggestions but the integration of each action is the true pain in the ass. If you're not around for that ride I'll try to ignore you.
😂🙋🏼♀️
It's like you have been inside my head observing my working week! I wholeheartedly agree with everything you have said in this video. I am that 'bad guy' that points out the flaw in the plan and I get frustrated when no one takes it seriously, does the thing they want to do anyway, then *COMPLAIN* when it fails or doesn't happen quickly or is inefficient. I LITERALLY TOLD YOU AND YOU CHOSE TO IGNORE.
Also, at work I regularly ask people to provide me with the agenda for a meeting before I attend the meeting. I do this because:
1. I like to know what is expected of me before I go into the meeting. I'm an introvert, let me process first!
2. I want to check that the meeting is actually relevant to me. Time and energy resources, yo!
3. Its common sense. Meetings need to stay on track. Especially if there are lots of people.
I am also that person in the meeting who will say 'Okay, can we get back to the agenda?' or 'Who is going to follow up on that action?' - I demand law and order, dammit!
On brainstorming - I don't mind doing that, I am happy to go into idea generation mode and assess what is the best route and fit all of the little parts together (that's my life in my inner world every day). However, if that's what the meeting or conversation is for then please make it clear to all parties from the outset, otherwise I'll sit there getting frustrated trying to figure out what the point of it all is. Also, make sure you include people who actually have knowledge about the thing within the brainstorming session. Otherwise it is just a complete waste of time and energy.
Here I am... uploading from inside your head :)
I came here today to get some perspective on someone who was annoying me. Coudn't pin point what it was. You never disappoint. I definately getting in touch with the reasons supporting my feelings about her and it is definately #4! I don't need to show my work, Janet!
I fret , I want nothing to look forward to.
when people ask about something that was already mentioned and when they ask simple things they could have researched before; this makes me so annoyed
"Then I always have to be bad guy." This is also me. It's the cross we have to bare. 😂
Te/Se FM
Lmao team M Te ftw 😂🤦🏼♀️
...when someone starts talking before I'm finished making my point. ...if I had a stun gun, I would zap them on their stupid necks and be like "NO!!" BAD!!"
🤣
Respect the process: I love it. It has always annoyed me when I describe a difficulty I'm having to someone, they think on it for one to three seconds and think that they have solved all of life's problems for me, with a two word answer.
When context and integration are overlooked: It is my considered opinion that only an INTJ routinely sees both the big picture and the details that make it all work. It is a basic reality of life that 98% of all people are happy with just knowing their little part of the system and have no interest in knowing anything more.
When time, energy or words are wasted: This goes right back to number two for me. 98% of all people are just interested in interacting with the cute guy or pretty girl. For them, the cognitive part of the equation is the painful part. For them time, words, energy are just a means to an end, not an end in and of itself.
Having to show our work: um yeah. No other personality type will understand the amount of work, or the relative importance of building the foundation upon which our ideas or results are grounded. And if we were to ever give them a full accounting of it, they would call us condescending. But they still want us to do the work of finding the cracks in their foundation so they can understand the results. It is exactly for this reason that the scientific method is so exacting is showing mathematical proofs, and experimental results. In a business or work setting however, I get it. Any actions taken in this setting tends to mean a lot to the bottom line of profitability. So I can understand their need for handholding through the process.
The reality of care and maintenance: Your example of the buying the car with no maintenance for ten years is so up my alley. In fact, as a motorcycle aficionado, Zero motorcycles put out a product that only requires new tires and brakes as needed. The rest of the system is fully electric. Just maybe keep it clean. And plug it in at night.
Sometimes I feel #5 with aspects of human interactions as well.
#2&4. hands down agreeee. even worst when youre forced to explaing urself and being interrupted halway the explanation because its too long of an explanation.
thank you so much for taking the time and mental energy to explain these things. i can never word this coherently. ill just save your videos in a playlist and use them as reference next time im asked to explain 'whats wrong'
OMG, I know, right. All of these peeves just came out for me big time today. Ugh. This was perfect, though, so thanks for cheering me up! Keep up the great videos and we'll keep clicking. And I don't think there's a copyright issue here, but just as a courtesy, I wanted to let you know that I linked to this video in one of mine today. 😉
Awesome!
I'm great at math, I can give you the right answer, but I miss out on showing my work because I don't want to waste time writing down many things when I can just do it all in my head
Why do you think people nowadays are more and more mistyped? Maybe because they believe the "free tests online"? Maybe because they don't look at what the MBTI functions actually are? Maybe because they don't look for what MBTI truly is? Do you agree that there is an intuitive bias, mostly started by immature and frustrated intuitives? Because I see it pretty much everywhere. And I can't really tell why.
One time, I made an itinerary for a trip with my friends. I laid out a plan and I knew this would be the best way to maximize our time. However, they kept on throwing idea over idea, saying it would be better or more fun, and when I gave a rebuttal, they’d tell me how serious I am.
I honestly don’t care if they think I’m a killjoy. What irritated me most was that we didn’t follow a schedule that would be more efficient, less costly, and maximize our time to the fullest.
In short, I agree with your video. So true.
I agree with everything, but also those that interrupt with an "easier" way to do something before I give a "death stare" or scowl and then say "Oh, I'm only trying to help!". My response to this is either "Stop trying to help and help" or words to the effect of "Go away!". Also when you zone out and scowl and people think that you're angry.
Aaaaah! This is so funny! Just got home from the plant store! I had to replace the ones I killed! Then I watched this and the coincidence is just too funny to me. I’m an INFJ plant murderer. I felt so much guilt because I accidentally froze my plants during a bad depression. I just hermitted in my room for several days and when I emerged, I realized what I’d done to them. I’ve actually managed to salvage them but if they ever do bloom again it won’t be for quite some time.
Haha power to you keeping up with your murderous ways ;)
LiJo - no no! Not power to that!😂 the guilt will end me!!!😢🌸❄️⚰️😫
I feel like most of your videos you made on INTJ is specifically directed to me. Great info! Thank you!
That's how it works when you think the same way!
That last point hits home, I have literally ignored every software upgrade on my smart devices because I can't be bothered. They work until they don't, and then I replace the whole thing at once.
Oh my God! This. Is. Pure. Gold. You are a mind reader!
Luckily i have found your channel and it helps me to understand myself better. Thanks
I just discovered your channel and am binge watching all your videos. You should have way more subscribers! Your insights are helping me wrap my mind around the cognitive functions. Great stuff. Thank you!
Thanks so much and welcome!
I relate to all of these,but #5 hit close to home! Also, your anecdote about your plants explains a lot about my habits. I’ve always Played with the idea of having a plant. It seems nice,but then I always calculate in the fact that it’s quite draining to do some sensory work,and I’m not efficient enough to keep alive. However, I’ve done research with succulents, and I deem them to be manageable as they are low maintenance. I might get one,buuut who knows I might find a way to kill that too😂
"played with the idea of having a plant" hahah I get that
People who have the strength n ability to change their situation but settle for complaints n wants to be pitied for. I hate pity, it feels patronizing and it blows my mind that some people love to get it
Absolutely - context is everything. It grinds me gears when people pull strawmen and/or shift the goalposts.
When a person you care about and is one of the rare you are willing to hang out with and waste your part of the day comes one hour late or does not even come (cuz something happened blah blah blah, no good reason) it makes me want to delete them from my life. My cousin did that a few times to me, guess who does not have a cousin anymore...
The more videos about INTJ I watch the more confused I am. Sometimes I feel like 'Yeah definitely me' and sometimes I am like 'it isn't even similar to me'.
You too smart for the world. We need such people here in Germany also.
I was also truly awful at showing my workings at school, fortunately that is not really part of my job anymore now.
One of my other pet peeves, is having friends coming to me, miserable, due to some problem or other, and I suggest a solution which they then completely ignore and come back to me again and again feeling bad about the same situation.
I've given you my advice, if you choose not to do it that is your prerogative, but don't keep coming back to me again looking for someone to be a "shoulder to cry on", if you're a friend of mine you should really know by now that is not a role I am built to fill particularly well!
Oh.... I just love you! You made me laugh....it is so ME...Glad I am not the only one. Thought I was crazy.
I hate it when someone asking me the same things.
Wow, topic number 1 is so spot on! Trust me, I do things the way I do them because I have thought out every other possible outcome. That's why I'm so particular about things being done a certain way. That's also why I have such a hard time finding anyone who can stand living with me. lol
I couldn't agree more especially with #4.
A car that's guaranteed no maintenance for 25 years would be my dream car. On another note the classiest Volvo on the market would be the perfect car for a minimalist intj gentleman.
as an intj everything u said rn got on my nerve, i swear the audacity of people , i hope they all disappear like rn and I could just focus on my stuff , like I don't mind being by myself and if u really want to care for me just leave me alone and data will be a grat way to do so
I didn’t like to show my work and this is what I concluded over the years: I oftentimes ask someone a question and give them the answer directly without telling them my thought process. So I present point A (the question) and point Z (the answer) that I thought through after a year or so and expected a friend to just get from point A to Z in an instant. All the thought process, point B to Y, is omitted…So I always get frustrated to explain all the nitty process to ppl.
It’s baffling to me how many people don’t consider second, third, fourth order of affect.
I hate it when people enturupt my conversation or Finnish my sentences for me. That truly turns me off.
I’d say that another annoying occurrence is the result of contemporary culture lacking the sense of personal responsibility.
Instead of taking ownership of one’s own problems, the childish jerkoff attempts to make their problem my problem. Utter laziness!